Madelaine Claire Weiss (LICSW, MBA, BCC) is a Harvard-trained Licensed Psychotherapist, Mindset Expert, and Board-Certified Executive, Career, Life Coach who helps people master their minds so they can maintain and enjoy satisfaction and success in all areas of their lives.
She is a co-author in the Handbook of Stressful Transitions Across the Lifespan and author of the new release “Getting to G.R.E.A.T. 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life.”
Madelaine is a former group mental health practice administrative director, a corporate chief organizational development officer, and associate director of the Anatomical Gift Program at Harvard Medical School where she spoke before the Joint Committee on the Status of Women.
As a corporate trainer, Madelaine designed and delivered programs for such diverse organizations as Harvard Medical School, Legal Services Corporation, and AARP.
She has been featured on NBC, Bold TV, FOX TV, appears frequently as a podcast guest expert including Major, Lindsey, & Africa’s Erasing the Stigma; has written for Thrive Global, Authority Magazine’s Editors List, UpJourney, My Perfect Financial Advisor; and conducted webinars for such organizations as the American Bar Association and Harvard Law School Association-MA.
Connect with Madelaine on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter.
What You’ll Learn In This Episode
- A Great Life Depends on a Great Fit Between Who We Are and the Environments in Which We Work and Live
This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix
TRANSCRIPT
Intro: [00:00:02] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for Coach the Coach radio brought to you by the Business RadioX Ambassador Program, the no cost business development strategy for coaches who want to spend more time serving local business clients and less time selling them. Go to brxAmbassador.com To learn more. Now here’s your host.
Lee Kantor: [00:00:33] Lee Kantor here, another episode of Coach the Coach Radio, and this is going to be a fun one today on the show, we have Madeleine Claire Weiss with mind over matters. Welcome.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:00:43] Hello. Hello. It’s a pleasure to be here.
Lee Kantor: [00:00:46] Well, I’m excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us a little bit about mind over matters. How are you serving, folks?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:00:53] So I help busy professionals and entrepreneurs find more hours in the day energy, peace of mind, freedom and fulfillment. All those good things maintaining their high performance because people are worried that if they relax a bit, they’ll lose the whole thing. So it’s maintaining that high performance without burning out.
Lee Kantor: [00:01:22] Now, why do you think that that is kind of a common thread among high achievers that everything is precarious and that if they just don’t, if they take their foot off the gas, then everything could tumble down.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:01:36] I think that’s because the kinds of people that I work with are headed to places they may have never been before, which is wonderful because there’s so aspiring and wanting so much to build and create, but because they’ve never been there before. And in some of their cases, no one has ever been there before in the kinds of things that they’re building. There’s so much uncertainty about what the outcomes will be and whether they would be able to manage them or not.
Lee Kantor: [00:02:17] But if if they look at their life trajectory, though, they have a history of success and the history of achieving. Yes, but they still have doubt that the next thing might be the one that, you know, makes all the dominoes fall down.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:02:32] Yes, because they have never been there before, you know, everybody talked so much about the imposter syndrome. And I have, by the way, on my website, I have my blogs there and there’s one on the imposter syndrome. And I quoted an author who made a really good point, which is that when you’re going someplace you’ve never been before. If you’re not at least a little bit nervous, we would worry about you more. Because what kind of arrogance would it take to think that you could handle perfectly something you’ve never handled before? So it’s so normal, and that’s a large piece of what I try to convey to people. And in fact, there’s this wonderful Yale study that says that learning and creating takes place optimally when we are 70 percent outside of our comfort zone. So people are waiting around till they feel comfortable, and that’s like, don’t do that.
Lee Kantor: [00:03:46] So then all you need to do is feel 30 percent certain.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:03:50] No, well, there’s what. What happens is that when we are in our comfort zone, the brain thinks everything’s fine and all the learning and problem-solving centers turn off. So there’s what we need to do is embrace that discomfort rather than shy away from it.
Lee Kantor: [00:04:14] So then the discomfort is almost kind of a good sign.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:04:18] Yes, yes. Because if we’re not uncomfortable, there’s a really good chance nothing is happening.
Lee Kantor: [00:04:25] So when you have that discomfort, you kind of have to lean into it and just trust trust the kind of the process and trust your previous history of success.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:04:36] Yeah, I heard it said the other day, and I love this. We get to choose our choices, but not their outcomes.
Lee Kantor: [00:04:48] Right. And and the outcomes, I think we a lot of times we focus so much on the outcomes. We forget the importance of the process. And if you trust the process, the outcomes are going to come or they’re not. But the process of you have a good one, then you should be OK.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:05:05] Well, I always like to come as close as I can myself to doing the right things right in the process so that when if things don’t work out, it’s not because I didn’t do my best. And that just relieves us of a lot of the pain that people feel when things don’t work out the way they wanted them to. They kind of beat themselves up about that. But if we, as you say, trust in the process and come as close as we can to doing the right things right, we’re spared all of that pain and suffering.
Lee Kantor: [00:05:43] And I would imagine the stress that comes along with this, because if you really work on your process and get that tight and clean and and right, then that takes a lot of the pressure off because, you know, look, I’m just working the process and then the outcome I can if I can let go of the outcome a little bit and just trust the process and work on getting as good of a process as possible, I would imagine stress melts away.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:06:09] Yes. One of my mentors taught me years ago I was working in a large, prestigious institution and everybody was acting nuts. And I went to him. I was in tears about how crazy it all felt. And he said to me, Just do good work. That’s your best friend and your best protection. Just do good work. And I lived by that, and I share that with all of my clients that that’s your best friend and your best protection, just doing and knowing that you did good work.
Lee Kantor: [00:06:51] Now, is this the subject matter of kind of your work and your books and and kind of what you preach is kind of helping folks create that process that’s going to serve them?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:07:04] And I call it sometimes an environmental fitness reboot. It is much easier to be doing good work and doing right things right and appreciating it and thriving in it at all when it is aligned with who we really are, not who someone else said we should be or who we may have even thought we should be throughout our lives. But the true essence of what it is that we really hold dear and has meaning for us, the closer we can come to closing the gap between who we are and the environments in which we work and live. The more we thrive and flourish and work in life. So that’s the essence of my book if you were referring to that, which is getting to great.
Lee Kantor: [00:08:01] Well, I was referring to the book and your work in coaching and training, yet that it to me, it centers around kind of creating more congruence between the the life you would like to lead and that you were meant to lead and maybe the life you’re leading now. And maybe if you get to the heart and peel back some layers that maybe you think you’re on a path that you were meant to do, but maybe it was someone else’s path, you know, it might. And that’s where a lot of the stress and discomfort comes in is that you aren’t aligned with your true north and the quicker you can identify what that is and put processes in place to align yourself and kind of maximize your talents and your mission, then life becomes a lot easier and a lot less stressful.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:08:48] Right on perfect. Yep.
Lee Kantor: [00:08:52] Now what’s your back story? How did you kind of orchestrate your life to be in this direction to help so many folks?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:09:01] So when I was 15 years old, my father, who was 42 years old, died suddenly of what the doctors called a cerebral hemorrhage. My mother said that he died of work stress. I started out my career, oddly enough, in a clinical chemistry laboratory. I worked for the USDA Biological Control Lab and Drexel University’s Cardiac Catheter Lab, so I was really heavy into laboratory science and all that sort of thing. And yet there was always this pull toward the people so one foot in front of the other over the trajectory of my life. I got closer and closer to working directly with the people. And now it’s no surprise, really, that I always say if I can help one little boy or girl’s mommy or daddy or anybody at all, for that matter, live a happier, healthier, productive life. I feel like I’m doing what I was put here to do.
Lee Kantor: [00:10:12] No. So now your work is centered around writing and training and coaching.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:10:19] Yes.
Lee Kantor: [00:10:20] Yes. Now, how did you make the transition from kind of an academic background working in labs and things like that to working with individual leaders?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:10:33] I have to think about that for a minute, Leigh, so I. I’m trying to think when I made the transition from the clinical setting to the mental health setting, at some point I went back to school and got an MSW and found myself as the administrative director and treasurer of a group mental health center. And then because I became an administrator, I realized I really ought to learn something about this. So then I went back to business school and got an MBA, and it was just, you know, I’ve lived long enough by now to have just kind of followed. I feel like if you get quiet enough inside your truth of your direction kind of bubbles up and you can actually hear it and honor it. And that’s kind of what I’ve done. Just one thing after another pivoting they call it now. I didn’t know I was pivoting.
Lee Kantor: [00:11:45] You were pivoting before it was cool.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:11:47] Yeah. Before it was. That guy had no idea I was pivoting. I was just feeling like there. There was another door to go through. And I love, love, love to learn. I’m a learning junkie, so going back to school was always fun for me.
Lee Kantor: [00:12:03] Now how in your work are you kind of delineating between maybe the therapy background, the science therapy background to the coaching background and also to the training background? Because I think there’s some overlap between all of them. But there are some distinctions, right?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:12:24] So I’m now a board certified executive coach and the reason I made that pivot from. Psychotherapist to executive coach, executive, career and life coach was because of the future positive action orientation of it. So now at the end of every session, there are action steps in therapy. You never did that. I was very classically trained, but so you never get that close to talking with people about what they’re going to do. And now in my work, it’s very much about what they’re going to do because William James said that. Action doesn’t guarantee happiness, but without action, there is no happiness. So I have become very action oriented in my work with people what I tell them during our introductory session because they typically have the question that you just asked me. So what I tell them is in terms of peeling the onion, you know, going back and looking at the family history and all that kind of stuff, only as much as is necessary to get the job done. And the job is not in your past, it’s your present and your future. So if there’s something that we can learn to facilitate your movement forward and your flourishing and your present and your future great, otherwise it has no bearing. Did that answer?
Lee Kantor: [00:14:08] Yeah, I I I definitely see the distinction there, and then your book, like you said, getting to great five step strategy for working life. This is action steps, right? This is not theoretical. This is stuff that has kind of a strategy and steps I can take to, like you said, create that action and momentum in my life.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:14:35] Well, what happened was my clients were doing so extraordinarily well and they were all so different from each other. And my education and experience is also so diverse that I asked myself about a year or so ago, What is it that’s working here? What are these people doing? What do they all have in common that’s getting them from here to there? And so I kind of reverse engineered this process, which I imagine my delight fit into the acronym. Great. So I was I was kind of thrilled by that. But there there is a process that people go through that has those steps.
Lee Kantor: [00:15:20] So your background, I guess this is just maybe how it was meant to be, but your background enabled you to use some sort of a scientific method to look backwards and assess and see what is the commonality of the success. And from that, you were able to then distill it down to the five steps.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:15:41] Yeah, I’m pretty good at synthesizing stuff. They told me when I first started training, they said, Where did you learn to formulate? And I said, What’s that? So there was there was some sort of ability to see something that seems to work well in the work that I do.
Lee Kantor: [00:16:06] So now, can you share what those five steps with green tea stands for?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:16:11] Sure. So grounding so is G. G for grounding. When people come to me, they don’t typically believe that they can really have a great life. Mostly, they’re just in pain and they want the pain to stop. So the G is for grounding in this belief. That they have everything they need inside of them to have a really great life and that it is very, very possible for them to get there. So that’s the G. The first line of the book is a great life depends on a great fit between who we are and the environments in which we work and live. So to have that fit between who we are and the environments, we need to recognize who we are. Again, not if someone else said we should be or who we may have thought we should be, but who we truly are in our nature and our interests and our values and aspirations and so on. So they are is for recognizing that once people have a better sense of what really matters to them under their belts, they go exploring in the external environments, looking for what is the right fit. So the E is for exploring, so they talk to their present bosses about maybe moving to a different part of their work world or they look at opportunities outside, sometimes opportunities that they didn’t even know existed.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:17:54] Everything opens up now, and or sometimes it was an opportunity they always dreamed about, but that’s not going to happen for me. So the exploring phase has no limits to it. And then we talked about a four hour action. So the A is what I mentioned to you before. We can’t stay in the land of dreaming about the things we wish were. I think the word everybody uses now is manifest. We have to manifest, so we have to take action on those. And then finally, the tea is. For tackling that normal, natural, inherent, predictable, expectable resistance to change that we humans enact when we’re trying to go some place, as I said at the beginning, that we may have never been before. So the brain is really, really good at keeping us safe, and it takes a little more energy and effort for us to go outside of that comfort zone where all the goodies are waiting for us.
Lee Kantor: [00:19:06] So now I know that that spells the word great was the is tackling last because even after you’ve decided to take action, they’re still going to be resistance or.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:19:21] I’m actually glad that you asked that question, because one of the first things I learned very early on in my education was something called prediction and control. So I will very often talk with people on the front end of our work together about when the resistance hits. What’s it going to look like for you? So it may not come right away, but we do talk about it early on so that when it happens, they can have a stance of, oh yeah, that. So it kind of disempowers the hold on us because it’s like, Oh yeah, that
Lee Kantor: [00:20:06] It’s kind of like an insurance policy. You’re kind of letting them know ahead of time this is going to happen. Just be ready for it.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:20:13] Yes, definitely.
Lee Kantor: [00:20:15] Definitely. Because a lot of people have the same kind of saboteurs that they treat as if this is the first time they’ve ever seen them, even though they might be kind of a recurring theme in their life, right? Yes. Now, OK, I’m sorry.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:20:31] No, I was just going to say a lot of people have different ideas on what to do about the saboteur. I just want to throw in there that. What we resist persists and get stronger. Therefore, I typically recommend making friends with it. It’s like that children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are and the Monster comes out from under the bed, and it’s not so hairy and scary anymore. So I tend to recommend getting to know the saboteur. What’s troubling the saboteur that makes it act like that, and maybe even to address that part of ourselves that I got this now. Trust me. Take my hand and come with me. I got this now.
Lee Kantor: [00:21:24] Now, in your work, do you work with a certain type of leaders? Does this work better? Like kind of in like your background, academic? Scientific.
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:21:35] Actually, my. The clients that I’m working with have really morphed over time, and I am really intrigued by it. I have a lot of. Young millennial types who are taking on the world. I have a 25 year old superconductor in who was a Fulbright scholar who’s working in renewable energy already. Around the world, I have people building companies in Colombia, in Costa Rica, and they’re all just balls on fire now. And I didn’t. I’m not sure what the draw is, but that seems to be who feels like they want to work with me and we’re really doing well and having fun now.
Lee Kantor: [00:22:36] Now, congratulations on that. But yeah, thank you. One reason we do this show is to help other coaches learn from each other. Do you mind sharing with our listeners, like how you got your last client? Like how did the last client that worked working with you? How did they come about?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:22:57] Ok, so most of my clients come through Psychology Today, which? I think you have to have certain licensing to be able to be on that, I get a lot of linked in Pro Finder. So if your listeners don’t know about the Pro Finder, I would highly recommend looking into that. I have taken three extremely high end marketing courses, and honestly, I don’t think that’s where my clients are coming from. I did last hour just talk with a woman I met in a networking group, and she was wanting to know if I could coach her clients, who seem like sometimes she has trouble getting the people who come to her for services. She’s a business development coach and sometimes they don’t do what she wants them to do, and then she goes into a snit about that, and I offered her the option actually to work behind her and lay hands on all of her clients through her while developing her at the same time. So that’s quite possibly going to happen. And so that happened through a networking group. I have lots of coaching colleagues who I’m watching develop their own businesses over time, and there are so many ways to go about how you find your ideal client and they’re all doing something different. So some of them are doing podcasts. A lot of them are writing books. People are doing online courses, so I guess my central message is there is no right way to do this and the right one is probably the one. It’s kind of what they say about physical exercise. The right thing to do is the one that suits you well enough that you might actually do it good stuff.
Lee Kantor: [00:25:16] And that aligns with your philosophy of finding that right kind of true north. And then when it’s all aligned, then life becomes easy or easier. Yeah, yeah. Well, congratulations on all the success. If there’s someone out there that wants to learn more about your books or your practice. And once I get a hold of you. Is there a website that you can share?
Madelaine Claire Weiss: [00:25:36] Yeah. Let me mention, I recently launched an online course that’s at Super Piercy. However, everything is on my website, so if you go to Madelaine Wise dot com, all my social media links are there. There’s a there are buttons for the book and the online course, and there’s also a how to reach me, and I would be delighted to hear from any and all of you.
Lee Kantor: [00:26:06] So and that’s made GLAAD and WUIS. Madeleine, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you, Julie. All right, this is Lee Kantor. We’ll see, y’all next time on Coach the Coach radio.