Lynnette LaRoche With Midlife Redesign Collaborative

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in the Bay area. It’s time for Bay Area Business Radio. Now here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here, another episode of Bay Area Business Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have Lynnette LaRoche with Midlife Redesign Collaborative. Welcome.

Lynnette LaRoche: Thank you so much, Lee. I’m grateful to be here today.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am so excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about your practice. How are you serving folks?

Lynnette LaRoche: Well. My practice Midlife Redesign Collaborative, serves midlife women between the ages of 40 and 60 who are feeling stuck or lost. Or maybe they’ve gone through a major life transition, such as divorce or career loss. And they they want to have a restart at life, but they feel fearful. And I’m there to walk them on that journey for to redesign the life that they really deserve at this point in, in their lives.

Lee Kantor: So what’s your back story? How’d you get involved in this line of work?

Lynnette LaRoche: Yeah, so I guess I’m my own muse, my own, um, client avatar. Because, um, starting late 2022, my life started spiraling out, and I had a major life transition around, you know, financial distress. And and it was just through the stripping of everything that I had. I this, this beautiful niche was born. I’ve always worked with midlife women. But this this space I’m in now is just really authentic. And I know that this is the best place for me to serve, because so many women go through some type of major transition in their lives, and they just need that, that support, you know, to bolster them as they journey on to reinventing themselves.

Lee Kantor: Now, do you find that when people are going through a transition, that there are certain kind of common steps that they all kind of pass through as they’re going through it? You know, maybe similar to, you know, what you do when you’re grieving or mourning that there are certain stages of that. Is there a certain kind of, you know, moment where, you know, you feel sad, you feel like, why me? And then you, you know, accept it. Like, is there a kind of a, a common path through a transition in midlife?

Lynnette LaRoche: Well, yeah, absolutely. Um, I would say many times. People are feeling it. Women are feeling this. I mean, it’s what’s called the midlife crisis. And you usually only really talk about it like it was a male thing, but now it’s just really coming to the fore about women have experienced it themselves, but they sort of go through denial. And then yeah, there is some why me? It’s like I’ve done all the things right. Why is my life not the way that I envisioned it? And but then they go through fear because they feel that time is now against them and. And then they start feeling, you know, less attention from society. And so how can they break that void. And so that fear sort of leads them in a prolonged state of stuckness. And so it’s only a brave few that actually reach out for support to help them to clear out, you know, that past life that’s no longer serving them so that they’re able to now move into the life that they get to really create now they’re not living off of pre-scripted or societal expectations now. They’re really free to live their own.

Lee Kantor: So what are some kind of maybe things that are actually happening in a person that they just haven’t connected the dots that they are in kind of crisis, or they are in a transition that they would benefit from having help of somebody like yourself. Like, what are some of the things that might be happening that they just haven’t kind of, um, put a name on it to say this is a transition or a crisis.

Lynnette LaRoche: Well, there could be things like going into more financial debt because they’re they’re out there looking for something outside of themselves. Um, so they’re looking to placate that by, you know, just buying all of these unnecessary things when they’re not seeing that what’s really suffering is, is their own self-worth. And so that’s one of the things. Um, the other thing is they start, um, going on this sort of this journey of. Forcing themselves into a youthful environment. You know, maybe they they don’t want to be around those in their age group and and they don’t want to lose that youth, that society mostly put the attention on. So whether it’s the way that they dress or like where they’re hanging out. Um, just some of the behaviors, it’s like, you know, I’m going to fight this every step of the way that I’m not going to let this part of my life, you know, change the way that I live going forward. So, yeah, they sort of go in reverse and like, oh, I’m going to be this young woman and I’m going to go and have like this, this just really like. Chaotic life that sometimes they have had in their youth, and that’s one of the other things. And then the other thing is like they there is that sadness. There is that where they, um. Inwardly they are just really suffering. They feel like a lot of stress on themselves, but they’re afraid to let others know. So they continue to live this facade that everything is going well because that was me, you know, I had everything was like sort of perfect from the outside looking in. But there was more that I was looking for.

Lee Kantor: Now, do you find that after speaking with you and you kind of maybe recentering them in certain ways and you help them understand that, you know, this, if we’re going to look at this as a metaphor, as this is midlife, you still have the other half of your life here. And, and that in some ways, you’re in a better spot today than you were when you started, because there’s less to lose in a lot of ways. Um, and I’m sure you help them kind of match up their expectations with more of the reality of their situations and manage that rather than, uh, maybe some of these, um, thoughts that they had of what a life could be that, you know, it just didn’t work out for whatever reason. And this is the reality of today, and this is how we can move forward here in a positive manner.

Lynnette LaRoche: Yeah, absolutely. Um, there’s the quote by George Eliot that is never too late to be who you might have been, and that sort of becomes sort of like this mantra. And just as you said, this is the period of, of your life where now all the, the risk that you kept yourself from taking, now you’re free to do, to do those things. Maybe the children are out of the house, maybe you you’re now single, or even if you are coupled up, now is the time where you really can start stripping off the worrying about the fear of judgment and the opinion of others. Because at this point, you’ve already seen what living your life based on others expectations have done for you. So now you get to say like, forget all of that now I’m going to live my life based on what I want. And, and and when women understand that women over 50 are 17.2% of the US population, that’s like almost 4 billion women in their 50s on this earth. And so we have to embrace this part of our life because aging is inevitable. But being old is a choice. And so as long as we’re out here defying the stereotypes on aging, that it’s never too late to go out, whether it’s going back to school, starting a business, learning to paint, or learning to fly is something that I would love to be to do for myself. But now more than ever, is is the time to really live out those dreams that you have put on hold because. Then you’re going to go along with your life with even heavier regrets. And you do not want to live that regret because regret can build up. But this is in the body. And this is the time where not only our careers, our financial, um, worth, but also our physical health is even more critical at this stage in our lives. And so we really have to embrace this part of our life.

Lee Kantor: Now, can you share maybe some of the questions you ask your clients? Um, in helping them understand, you know, of what’s ahead and what could be, rather than kind of dwell on what was.

Lynnette LaRoche: Yes. And so questions that I ask is one of the first ones is like, what was it that you really wanted to do with your life when you were between the ages of ten and 13? And that is usually an eye opener for women because there was like all those little giddy dreams that you use to talk about with your girlfriends. Like when you’re out there doing each other’s hair, like, yeah, I’m going to be this, I want to do this. And so we sort of start from that place and then we bring it forward and, and what is it that now in this adult phase of your life that doesn’t match up with those childhood dreams, what is it that you want to aspire to? And then we we then work work back from there so we know what the end goal would be desired. And then how do we put this blueprint in place so that they can build the foundation. And so this is like again stripping down everything that was not serving them. And then being able to rebuild the house, as I like to call it, their life to the way that they want it. But yeah, definitely starting with the question of what did you want to do and be when you were this young girl? And what is it now in your life that doesn’t match up with that? Maybe now there’s something even better.

Lee Kantor: Yeah. That’s interesting. You bring this up because I recently have interviewed, um. Uh, this person that was sharing with me that as children when a child like in kindergarten, preschool and they ask who wants to be an artist like, or who’s an artist, everybody raises their hand. But by like third grade, they ask the same question, and only the two people that draw well raise their hand. You know, like everybody kind of self selects out of that. Um, you know, probably because of peer pressure they get made fun of or whatever the reason is, they just kind of back burner the thing that was bringing them joy just a few years before. And it probably happens throughout life and especially with women, that at some point they start kind of. Kind of curating what they’re good at based on other things that that what they really believe they’re good at. You know, other people are kind of shaping their direction rather than what’s in their heart. And then if you’re able to unlock that for them later on, you’re giving them such a gift.

Lynnette LaRoche: Yes, absolutely. Because yes, it just as you were just saying, we’re told to be realistic to stop dreaming, get that dream out of your head and get out there and do something real with your life. Do something constructive. And that’s the thing is, is like, look at this woman in the mirror and and bring back that one who used to dream. And that dream can be made, realized. And that is what I that is just so much part of a mission for me is to help them to see that is that you no longer have to put your dreams on hold, or the worry about whether this is going to be acceptable to anyone else. Because right now you’re living for yourself. You’re not living for your children. You’re not living for your husband. You’re not living for your employer. This is now your time to really shine.

Lee Kantor: And if not now, then when?

Lynnette LaRoche: Exactly.

Lee Kantor: So how do you work with your clients? Is it one on one coaching? Is it group? Is it kind of um, webinars like how do you interact and serve your clients?

Lynnette LaRoche: Yes, and so I. It’s about 5050 right now, one on one clients. And then there are group coaching cohorts where in the group coaching cohorts, women are a little bit these women are a little bit more open. Um, they and then as a bit more general in terms of it’s not really razor focus into a specific area for them. So in my group coaching cohorts that are more generalized, I might have women who are empty nesters or someone’s going through a divorce or, you know, someone who just feel like, God, I haven’t even lived my own life. I’m just stuck. Whereas the one on ones we these are women who. Again. They just want their privacy. They, they, they don’t want to share in front of others. But we we really get to deep dive and it’s so personalized. And not that the group coaching doesn’t get personalized support, but 101 is is just so much more transformative. And um, and and again, um, it’s just really just such a beautiful thing to see these women’s lives transform.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wants to learn more and connect with you, um, what is the best way to do that? Do you have a website or is it, uh, through social media channels? What’s the best way to connect.

Lynnette LaRoche: So they can.

Lynnette LaRoche: Reach out to me? Um, via rise Reinvent with, um, with Lynette. Com or on social media. Instagram is where they will find me the most. Lynette Laroche. Um, all one word. L y n n e t t e l a r o c h e. Com. And you know, there are links in my Instagram where they can reach out and schedule a discovery call where we can just really find out what it is that they want in their lives, and how I can be of service to them to help them be who they might have been.

Lee Kantor: Well, Lynette, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Lynnette LaRoche: Well, thank you so much for having me. And I really enjoyed my time. Thank you.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We will see you all next time on Bay Area Business Radio.