Rita Garnto With Simple Self Care by Rita

Intro: [00:00:04] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Charlotte, North Carolina. It’s time for Charlotte Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:17] Lee Kantor here another episode of Charlotte Business Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show we have Rita Garnto with Simple Self Care by Rita. Welcome.

Rita Garnto: [00:00:29] Hey, thanks, Lee.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:30] I am so excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about your company, how you serving folks.

Rita Garnto: [00:00:35] Well, I am a stress management educator and so my tagline is I teach busy stress people how to go from feeling crappy to happy with simple self care tools. So demystifying what stress is all about and how to bring down your stress level at the moment when you’re stressing so, so simple.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:59] So what’s your backstory? How did you get involved in this line of work?

Rita Garnto: [00:01:02] Oh my gosh. So my backstory is probably about 50 years. I was a respiratory therapist for 20 years right out of high school. Part of that was I was flew on the trauma flight team at Carolinas Medical Center. And so I have a solid medical background. And I understand stress because as I was on the flight team, it was very stressful. And I actually started doing stress management lectures back in 1997. And I hate to date myself, but, you know, whatever. And so finally, after 20 years of sort of tired of the sickness and the death and the dying, I became a massage therapist and opened my own massage business and did that for 17 years. So I really was teaching my clients how to do self care. And so I have the Eastern and the wettest Eastern and Western medicine background, and it just seemed a natural progression that I would continue to do stress management and self care education. And then in 2009, my husband and I adopted two toddlers at the same time. One was 18 months and one was almost four. And then six months after that I had an almost near nervous breakdown because I did not deal with stress very well at that time and I needed to find a solution to this to survive like this crazy thing called life. Realizing that stress was not going to go away, I just had to figure out how to handle it. And then in 2018, I wrote a book and I’m now I do self care workshops and I’m a paid speaker. And just my purpose to serve is to help people stress less and live happier.

Lee Kantor: [00:02:37] Now, do you feel that stress is just part of life, that there’s no removing stress or getting rid of stress? It’s just a matter of learning how to manage it?

Rita Garnto: [00:02:48] Absolutely. And I think with the pandemic that really brought it to the forefront and what I tell people is it doesn’t matter what your background is, your story, your age, whether you’re a high schooler, you know, teenager, pre teen, you know, older adults, we all have different stressors in our lives and life is just stressful. And so really it’s not going to go away. And it really is a matter of managing it before we become stress overloaded and burnt out now.

Lee Kantor: [00:03:22] So it’s not it’s kind of a feature. It’s not a bug. Like it’s not something that, oh, that person somehow figured out how to not have stress in their life. It’s just everybody’s life has stress and stressors and it just you just have to figure out tools that work for you on how to manage whatever those stressors are.

Rita Garnto: [00:03:42] Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, some people handle stress better than others. And I think it has to do with mindset. And, of course, you know, eating habits, sleeping habits, all those you know, all those sort of basic foundational habits. But it is yeah, we really you know, whether you’re dealing with cancer, whether you’ve lost your job or you’re just dealing with a snarky teenager at home, I mean, it’s all stress and it’s affecting you and, you know, is affecting your your mental health, your physical health. So, yes, it’s not going away now.

Lee Kantor: [00:04:16] Is there any low hanging fruit that works for most people when it comes to stress? Are there are certain things that someone can do maybe regarding their breath and breathing or just, you know, pausing for a second? Is there a certain things that you find that kind of I don’t want to say universally, because not everybody nothing works for everybody, but some things that work for a lot of people. A lot of the times when it comes to managing a stressful situation.

Rita Garnto: [00:04:42] I think actually, Lee, you’ve you’ve hit the nail on the head that it is about pausing. And so so really what happens is when we start stressing about a situation and our body’s reacting to it, we’re getting anxious. It’s because our brain is triggered the stress response, which is called the fight or flight. And so adrenaline and cortisol have been released into our bodies and it causes changes, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure. And unfortunately, as we’ve evolved as humans, the smallest thing can set us. Off whether we were late for a meeting. And so really taking that moment to pause and being aware that you’re you’re reacting to you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Taking that pause actually will reset your brain and you will actually switch to your other nervous system, which is the resting and digesting part. And research shows it only takes 30 seconds for you to calm your brain and your to start calming your brain and your body and deep breaths are perfect.

Lee Kantor: [00:05:50] Now, why are why is deep breathing and deep breaths? Why is that such a calming thing to be doing? Like what is it about the breath that makes your body kind of relax?

Rita Garnto: [00:06:05] It. It literally the way I the way I explain it and this is not the most medical, but it’s I say it’s letting your brain know that you’re not in danger and you’re not facing a threat. So really what you’re doing is you’re switching. We have two different I’m sorry, I should preface I’m a self-proclaimed science nerd. So we have two nervous systems that are our body will function off of its one or the other, not both. And so by deep breathing, we will actually trigger the calming nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, and that will take over and our heart rate will slow down. Our blood pressure will drop, our breathing rate will drop, and our body functions will turn back a little bit, you know, back to normal. Um, you know, it’s mindfulness. It’s that as that pause is taking a moment just to, to sort of reset and recharge and just. You know, before we act spontaneously and say something we shouldn’t probably shouldn’t say.

Lee Kantor: [00:07:09] Now, does that make sense? Yeah. Does does some of this kind of go back to the fact that there was for most of humanity’s time here, we had to fear for our lives and we had to fight for our our food every day. And it was something that for a long period of time, life and death was really kind of pressing for most people on a day by day basis. And today, for a lot of people, they don’t have those kind of life or death stressors. And now we’re reacting to other stimuli that we might be interpreting as life or death, when in actuality, they obviously aren’t as severe as that.

Rita Garnto: [00:07:53] Correct. That’s that’s a great that’s a great explanation description. And I use that in my presentations. Yeah. So when I, you know, way back at the beginning of time, we’re hardwired with this fight or flight, this stress response. And it was really life when it came to life or death. And, you know, as we have evolved, it has not changed with us. And so now with, you know, stored, you’ve got emotions and memories and stored trauma and different triggers and, you know, all this, the brain makes a very quick decision. It’s like, oh, you know, you don’t have enough resources to handle. You’re late again for work. And oh, my gosh, you might lose your job. And did it, you know, before you know it, you’re all wound up so, you know. Absolutely. So, again, fighting our neurobiology. And we’re hard wired.

Lee Kantor: [00:08:46] And and I guess our body can’t discern that the person cutting us off in traffic may not necessarily be there to kill us.

Rita Garnto: [00:08:56] Correct. So that is that is why I think awareness is so important, that understanding. Okay. I have that stress response within me. That guy just cut me off. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m going to take some deep breaths. And I love to combine deep breathing with wiggling my toes because that really distracts the brain. So should try that and the listeners take a deep take a few deep breaths and wiggle your toes at the same time.

Lee Kantor: [00:09:23] And then and that kind of resets you and you’re like, okay, I’m not going to die here. Let’s just get back to what I was doing.

Rita Garnto: [00:09:31] Exactly. So and even telling yourself, I’m safe where I am, it’s okay. You know, talking to yourself, repeating a mantra or affirmation, anything where you can just get that, that pause, that gap between running on your primitive life or death response and then your more logical response.

Lee Kantor: [00:09:53] Now the term self care is being used more and more lately, especially, I think a lot of younger people are embracing this idea of self care. But can you educate our listeners of what it means to you and why it’s so important?

Rita Garnto: [00:10:08] So self care is defined as any intentional action you take to take care of your mental, emotional, spiritual or physical health. So that really taking that moment, whether it’s going to the gym exercise is very powerful. Going for a walk, meditating, yoga, all the, you know, getting a massage, all these things really allow, you know, they they activate your parasympathetic nervous system and they allow your body to relax. But what I found, especially when I was a mom at 46 with two toddlers, is that life was really busy because I had a massage business. I created simple self-care and to me that’s any intentional self-care action that you can slide into your day. So I don’t have to change my clothes or my shoes and go to the gym, even though if I had the time and the energy fabulous do all that, that traditional self-care. But when you’re pressed for time and you’re driving down like I 77, which I really dislike, driving down that interstate, you know, and someone cuts you off, well, I can’t pull over and go for a run, but I can I can take a few deep breaths and wiggle my toes and tell myself I’m going to be okay. Does that does that make sense? So it’s when, you know you’re running late or something awful has happened, you know, taking those deep breaths and resetting and doesn’t mean you’re not going to go back into fight or flight, but it just it brings it allows your body just to relax a little bit. Um, and you know, I remember, you know, ages 16, I was journaling, I was running, um, you know, I was sort of self-medicated with self care, not realizing as a teenager what I was doing. So I think self care is so, so, so important, especially now.

Lee Kantor: [00:12:00] And but ultimately the individual has to figure out what is the appropriate self care for them. And and some people sadly self medicate through drugs or alcohol or some things that may not be good to be doing in the long term.

Rita Garnto: [00:12:16] Correct. And you know, I you know, I even I will I will tell people my presentations, you know, if all of a sudden you’re two cups or three cups of coffee have turned into like a pot of coffee or a three pots of coffee, you know, there’s no judgment here, Right? It’s a red flag. It’s that awareness piece that, you know, I’m now needing a lot more coffee or wine or prescription drugs or whatever have you to get through the day and to cope. That needs to be a red flag. And that’s trying to teach people to be more aware and understand that I’m not doing myself any good here. I need to get some help or I need to go for a walk or make an extra effort to to learn meditation or or use one of the apps on the phone and, you know, with calm music and, and, you know, different affirmations and things like that.

Lee Kantor: [00:13:09] Now, having come from a career where you were in the midst of super high adrenaline, a lot of action and chaos to a day where there’s probably less of that kind of actual life or death things happening. Do you think that that gives you this unique perspective to be able to give people, your clients that kind of perspective where, Hey, I know it seems stressful, but like, here’s what a day in my life used to look like. This is closer to what true stress. You know what real life and death consequences could look like. But what you’re going through may be maybe it feels like that, but it’s not. It’s not anywhere in the kind of stratosphere of what what that is.

Rita Garnto: [00:14:01] You know, I’ve never thought of it that way. And I think because, you know, when I adopted, you know, when we adopted our daughters, like that was very real. I mean, I ended up sitting on the back deck sobbing uncontrollably and and and wondering, you know, if I, you know, I was having suicidal thoughts. So even though that wasn’t a life or death situation, I was so overwhelmed. So, you know, I, I really believe, you know, even though, you know, flying around on helicopters and landing. Yes. Was very stressful. I ended up on antidepressants. A lot of the flight team at that time, we were all on antidepressants because it was so stressful, believe it or not. Um, but but I think it’s so individual. If, if, you know, you have, um, an abscess on your foot, like that’s not really a big deal compared to someone who’s dying of cancer. But if you are a single mom and you have three jobs, we’re on your feet and you can hardly walk. That’s a huge stressor, right? That’s a huge that really affects your life. So it’s you can’t compare apples and oranges. I think everybody is. Um. You know, everybody, like I said, has their story and it’s focusing on what’s going on in your life and accepting it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay for me to ask. Help for help. And yes, my life is stressful, even though some people may roll their eyes at it. Does that make sense? Lee does that.

Lee Kantor: [00:15:33] Well, right. I mean, I just think that as as we evolve as humans, I think because we’re so far removed from true life and death for most people that we’re just not maybe as resilient or not as it’s harder for us to cope with maybe smaller things like smaller things become bigger things because we have more time and we have more kind of affluence.

Rita Garnto: [00:16:03] Yes, I think I think that’s an important factor as well. And then when you think back to our ancestors, when they got into a situation where it was life or death, they would run or fight. So all those byproducts, the adrenaline and cortisol and the extra sugar and the blood and all these things, they exercised right in the form of either fighting or running. So they had that release. They worked off the byproducts of the of that stress response. And then they could reset if they survived.

Lee Kantor: [00:16:40] Right. And remember, what happens today.

Rita Garnto: [00:16:43] You know, you’re driving to work and you’re late and you’re stressing, oh, my God, traffic’s horrible and I’m late. My boss, I’m going to lose my job. And you find, oh, my gosh, I can’t find a parking spot. And you’re screaming and yelling at all the cars. And then you get to your desk, take the elevator. You hardly walk. You don’t do anything. You sit at your desk all day. So there’s that lack of physical activity, that lack of release of of that stress through exercise or activity.

Lee Kantor: [00:17:10] Yeah. And I see it even you see it in children today where when I was a kid, we had pe every day, five days a week. It was outside, it was, you know, you’d sweat. And nowadays there’s less and less of that physical relief for young people to really help them manage the stress that they’re going through.

Rita Garnto: [00:17:31] Absolutely. I have two teenage daughters and one one’s in, uh, she’s a sophomore now. And and hardly active at all. I mean, I remember, you know, we would leave, leave in the morning and come back when the street lights came on. You know, we were outside playing in the neighborhoods. Our parents didn’t know where we were. I mean, and I understand things are different now, but we were outside playing. Our parents would tell us to go outside and we would go outside and kick a soccer ball around or shoot hoops or do something. Um, yeah, I think the lack of lack of activity and, you know, kids nowadays are glued to their phones.

Lee Kantor: [00:18:06] Right. I think that that’s part of the price they pay is that they don’t have those physical reliefs that we had just even, like you said, go out and play. Even if you weren’t physically doing anything, you were walking somewhere to some place. You were your body was moving. Even if you weren’t, if you were just hanging out with your friends, it was usually outside moving. It wasn’t, you know, in front of your phone.

Rita Garnto: [00:18:31] Exactly. Exactly. So life. You know, I read an interesting post on Facebook and I knew this, but reading it is that the world that our parents, you know, taught, you know, we grew up in no longer exists. And that was like, wow, that is so true that you you can’t compare our childhood like my childhood and my daughter’s childhood. Like it’s that doesn’t exist anymore and that it’s sad on some levels. Um, and, you know, like, so how do we help these kids? How do we help, you know, educate and, um, you know, help, help give them the tools so they have tools in their tool belt that, oh, my gosh, I’m sitting here. I don’t know what that math answer is on that question. Well, here, let me instead of getting all nervous, let me take a few deep breaths. Let me wiggle my toes, get my brain back online, and and maybe I’ll have a better chance of getting that question. Right. So it’s it’s it’s learning healthy coping.

Lee Kantor: [00:19:29] Right? It’s like you mentioned earlier when you were young, you were just instinctively doing these kind of things. You were running, you were exercising. You were kind of taking your your brain to relax your brain in ways that you were just figured out on your own. And nowadays, I don’t think that people have they’re definitely not leaning into exercise or movement as part of their solution. So they have to learn things from people like you. Experts have to share kind of that wisdom and pass it along to them about self care, about why it’s so important and how to do it effectively.

Rita Garnto: [00:20:06] Absolutely. And, you know, we made it so hard. I think we just so overthink things, you know, And it’s not that hard. It’s like if if you are sitting behind your computer and you’re getting a headache or you feel like your shoulders are up by your ears, do some shoulder rolls, like just roll your shoulders. Few deep breaths. Reach up, reach out, get up, go get a cup of water. Go. You know, like I just all this information is out there, but I just don’t think that we’re putting one plus two plus two together. Like, just get up and move. Ten seconds. 30 seconds. Right. And it has to be intentional. And I you know, I say it simple, but it’s not easy. But but once, you know, you get used to it. And, you know, one of the first things I started doing with being a mom, I’ve had lower I’ve had lower back surgery. I would stretch while I brush my teeth. Well, that would stretch my hip flexors and allow my back, you know, I’d be in less pain. So, you know, it’s finding those little things. And that’s with my presentations and my workshops. I walk people give them lots of examples and we do things in that workshop and then it’s at the end, it’s like, pick one. That’s all I’m asking. You just pick one thing to start with.

Lee Kantor: [00:21:23] So if somebody wants to connect with you and to learn about the workshops, your book and the the kind of roadmap you’re willing to share with folks to help them kind of improve their self care, What is the website?

Rita Garnto: [00:21:38] The website is simple self care.net.

Lee Kantor: [00:21:44] Good stuff. Well, Rita, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Rita Garnto: [00:21:51] Right. Thank you so much, Lee.

Lee Kantor: [00:21:53] All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see y’all next time on Charlotte Business Radio.