Elizabeth Miller with Happy Healthy Caregiver

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Woodstock, Georgia. It’s time for Cherokee Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Stone Payton: Welcome to another exciting and informative edition of Cherokee Business Radio. Stone Payton here with you this morning, and today’s episode is brought to you in part by our Community Partner program, the Business RadioX Main Street Warriors Defending Capitalism, promoting small business, and supporting our local community. For more information, go to Mainstreet warriors.org and a special note of thanks to our title sponsor for the Cherokee chapter of Main Street Warriors Diesel David, Inc. please go check them out at diesel. David. Dot com you guys are in for a real treat this morning. Please join me in welcoming to the broadcast with Happy Healthy Caregiver, Elizabeth Miller. How are you?

Elizabeth Miller: I’m doing well. Thanks for having me, Stone.

Stone Payton: Oh, what a delight to have you in studio. I got a ton of questions, Elizabeth. I’m almost certain we won’t get to them all, but I think a great place to start is if you could share with me and our listeners mission. Purpose? What are you and your team really out there trying to do for folks?

Elizabeth Miller: Okay, to laugh a little bit about the team because it’s I’m a solo Preneur Stone. I do have a couple consultants that help me with stuff, but for the most part it’s been me since 2015. I started Happy Healthy Caregiver because I wanted to provide some education, support and resources for family caregivers so people who are caring for their loved ones, maybe at home, maybe in a nearby senior living community and so forth. And I stumbled on this profession, because I just really felt like my husband and I were squeezed in the sandwich generation. So caring for older adults while raising our kids, working full time in the peak of our careers, and drowning, drowning and overwhelm and feeling like, you know, why is this so hard? Why is this so hard to care for people that we love? So I started blogging and layering on things over the years and where I’ve landed now, you know, nine years later is I provide education through speaking to companies, in particular employers who are trying to help their working family caregivers make caregiving more sustainable could be organizations. And I’ve also kind of found myself as an accidental influencer, where I’m helping other companies who are trying to put their products and services in front of family caregivers and amplifying them through my podcasts, my newsletter, and resources like that. But what I’m all about essentially is supporting family caregivers, helping them to make their caregiving journey sustainable so they can mitigate burnout.

Stone Payton: So nine years in, what are you finding the most rewarding? What’s the most fun about the work for you?

Elizabeth Miller: I love the speaking. So funny little story about me is I studied broadcast journalism at Penn State University, never really used it, spent my professional career in IT and corporate strategy, and now I get to kind of take that back and and really highlight what caregivers, what’s working for them through the podcast. So speaking through the podcast and then speaking to groups of people, because I’m finding that, you know, I wasn’t alone in feeling the way that I have felt. And, um, this is a way for me to scale the message and fast track people to the resources that can help them so that they’re not, you know, wandering in the dark like I felt like I was doing.

Stone Payton: So what was it like when you first started speaking to groups? Was it nerve wracking or did you take to it really easy or.

Elizabeth Miller: Well, it was nerve wracking. And I think, you know, part of that is keeps you honest. Like, you want to do a good job so you get that butterflies. But really what changed for me is, you know, rather than all the focus kind of coming to me and feeling like I’m in the spotlight, I really felt like what I want to do instead was almost like a lighthouse and project out. That wasn’t necessarily about me, but it was about them getting the support and resources so that, you know, their evening, their tomorrow could be a little different than it was today.

Stone Payton: And this podcast, you’re a veteran podcaster. It’s not like you, you got this idea or your nephew has a podcast and you thought you’d take a swing at it. You’ve been doing this for a while.

Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, I’ve been doing this for nine years. Wow. Yeah, I guess eight years for the podcast. So what makes Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast different than other podcasts in this care space is that I honestly feel like the real experts in family caregiving are the family caregivers. So I only you have to have either been or currently are a family caregiver to be considered as a guest on the show. And then I want to, you know, figure out what has helped you in your caregiving journey and how you have been able to infuse self-care in little, small ways, either to recover from burnout or to mitigate burnout.

Stone Payton: And the name of the podcast is Happy Healthy Caregivers So Easy Enough to Find, is probably on the podcast platform.

Elizabeth Miller: It’s out there. It’s everywhere. It’s on YouTube as well, so if people want to watch it, they can watch it and then show notes page too, because I know caregivers are doing a lot and they’re probably listening while they’re on the go. And so then we’re going to keep all the resources and things that we talk about on the website.

Stone Payton: So I want to I guess I would characterize my situation as pre caregiver. Okay.

Elizabeth Miller: So expectant I call that yeah.

Stone Payton: This conversation is very timely for me. My, my I grew up in Pensacola, Florida. My folks have moved up here. There are now two minutes away Okay. Uh, they’re 82 and 84. Um, but I gotta believe at some point I’m going to at least I’m going to need to to learn about how to access the right resources. And I’m going to need to learn some things. And so this is a very timely conversation for me. So, uh, I’d love to let’s dive into the work a little bit. Okay. And the, the work that you’re doing for the organizations. But maybe any insights on, you know, what what is happening and needs to be happening in the home?

Elizabeth Miller: Well, I’m glad that we met, first of all, because you’re not going to be like, flailing your arms in the deep end of the ocean. And I think for some people, caregiving happens overnight, you know, with a fall or a crisis situation and then some people, which is definitely was my situation. You can kind of see it coming. And, and mine was a little bit of a mudslide situation with my folks and my in-law. But, you know, where I really have focused on what I provide is, you know, a lot of people were telling me I should take care of myself, and they were shooting on me. I call it. Um.

Stone Payton: And I’m going to steal that.

Elizabeth Miller: Yeah. Shooting all over me and and listen, I’m going in. I’m taking the notes with my mom, in particular to doctor’s appointments. I’m. I’ve got a walker, sometimes a wheelchair and a walker and asking all the questions. And there were constantly, you should be doing this for your person. You should be doing that. And I thought, I am losing it. Like I feel like I should be doing enough by now. Uh, and so that was a really tough situation is just to feel like there’s so many people needing you. And I call that like feeding a nest of hungry birds where, you know, the birds are never satiated. They’re just constantly needing, like, work, your pets, your care recipients, your relationships, your all of that. My kids. And so I just felt like this should not be this hard. Uh, but I also at that same time, it came really clear to me that my health was changing and that my health and happiness was suffering and that I needed to infuse more self-care into my day. And, you know, we should take care of ourselves. But what does that really look like? Like when you’re buried, you know, in in helping someone with medications and appointments and, you know, trying to coordinate their care and all of that, like, you have already got a full time job, Stone. And so you’ve got a full plate and then this caregiving stuff starts happening and you’ve got to learn a whole new terminology. And who are you going to go to? You know, everybody kind of is specialized in their own area and it’s very fragmented.

Elizabeth Miller: Our health care system. So, you know, I’m not saying I have all the answers. I’m certainly still a work in progress. I’m still a caregiver who cares now for a support caregiver for my brother who was born with an intellectual and developmental disability. So my parents are deceased and, you know, care is is something then that my siblings and I have to kind of figure out how to share. And it’s a completely different path than than one caring for an older adult. Um, but what I had to also come to terms with is that self-care is not just physical self-care like we think about, you know, going exercising and eating, right, and maybe we even think about the quality of our sleep. But for caregivers, you know, the nights out on the town and the massages are just not a thing that you can really put into your day. So figuring out those little micro acts that you can do in your day that you can infuse, and also thinking about it beyond physical. So social self-care, professional, spiritual, financial. Um, I recognize eight different categories of self-care. And I really encourage caregivers to try on different strategies. Just like you try on clothes, see what maybe works for you, and keep those in your closet, in your toolbox and ditch what doesn’t because you know what works for you. Stone is going to be different than what works for me.

Stone Payton: I’m sure that’s true. Are there also, however, some common myths or mistakes? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Speak to that a little bit. Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller: I mean, I think, you know, for one, people think they’re not a caregiver If the person doesn’t live with them, you know, but you you know, you’re probably likely still making phone calls, taking them appointments, you know, long distance. Caregiving is a much more common thing these days than it used to be, with the way that our society is so spread out. Um, you know, there’s I learned a lot about senior living and assisted living and kind of what I thought was a good fit and what really was a good fit was different. Um, you know, the first place we picked for my mom, based upon the amenities and the look and feel and hoping that was going to ease her transition and what we really needed was a higher level of care. And so learning how to kind of ask those questions, creating a care team, you know, um, a lot of us think that we can do caregiving by ourselves. And I’ve never seen that work. You know, in the time a solo caregiver is, you know, think about these communities. They have so many different people that do different roles, and we need that. And we don’t have the expertise in all of the different areas, and some of us are better nurturers than others. So we have to kind of build out our team for our our loved ones and for ourselves. So we have that support too.

Stone Payton: So have you had the benefit of one or more mentors as you kind of found yourself in this space, or is it all individual? Hard earned scar tissue, or do you get a little bit of help? No.

Elizabeth Miller: Listen, I mean, everything is like I’ve gotten so much from different, different people in my life and a lot from our community, frankly. Like, you know, I’m very plugged in to the the senior living and the older adult groups. I got my certification as a certified senior advisor and a certified caregiving consultant, so that I could learn more about these spaces and have kept those certifications going. And so I have I don’t have all the answers, but I hopefully can help people direct to get there a little quicker. Um, you know, I’ve learned so much about hospice and palliative care. Like, there’s there’s a lot of myths in that space in general that people think you have to wait until the very end in order to utilize those services. I’ve seen the blank stare on people’s faces when they realize that Medicare doesn’t pay for long term care, and what that’s going to mean to their, their finances. Um, so there’s like, yeah, we need I need a team. I need a team of people to.

Stone Payton: Now you are on the leadership team. Speaking of teams at this organization called Acap. Talk a little bit about mission and purpose of Acap and and tell us what you guys are up to.

Elizabeth Miller: It’s a great group. First of all, part of the leadership team. It stands for Adult children of Aging Parents. It was created by Francis Hall at a North Carolina. It’s a nonprofit group, and we have one here in Cobb and Cherokee. And the whole premise of it is to offer programs to adult children of aging parents in a very no sales, no pressure environment. So, like, I don’t go and promote myself as happy, healthy caregiver there. I, you know, I don’t wear my name tags or anything. We have spots for sponsors that pay to do that. They have tables set up. So certainly you can be a sponsor for an A cap program. But we meet the third Thursday of every month we’re meeting. September 19th is our next one. We’ve been having our groups since February of this year, and all of the people on the leadership team have different roles in our in the senior community. Um, my role for the leadership team is, is selecting the programs and finding the good speakers for our programs. And I hope that my experience as a family caregiver can kind of help guide what I feel like might be valuable to put into that space.

Elizabeth Miller: So I this topic this month, September 19th, is shielding loved ones from scams and fraud. It’s a sick, sick world out there that people are like preying on people like my brother who, you know, through Facebook, you know, beautiful women asking him for gift cards happens on the regular, but there’s also Medicare fraud and other things that happen. So we’ve got a Jeff Donnelly from the deputy department in Cherokee is going to come speak. And then Jose Pinto talking about the Medicare fraud issues. So we try to pull in the people who have the expertise, but we’ve got other great topics this year. October is importance of being socially engaged and active. November residential options when a when your loved one can no longer live at home and that no longer meets their needs. And then in December, funding sources as loved ones need more care. So all things that people need, um, and it’s a very rich program environment that we follow a curriculum.

Stone Payton: And where do you get together?

Elizabeth Miller: We meet at the Covenant Presbyterian Church off Canton Road. So we try to find a good location for, uh, for Cherokee and Cobb. It’s, you know, it’s a big area.

Stone Payton: Sure, but this is the kind of, uh, of meeting that that someone like I should go to this thing, right?

Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, I think so, Stone.

Stone Payton: Because it would really help me get prepared to to help Mom and dad and help me educate my brother who’s down in Tallahassee. Yeah, but I you mentioned long distance. It doesn’t have to be just me because I’m the one up here. I can get my brother rusty. I can get Russ on the team too, right? I got a lot.

Elizabeth Miller: Of tips for your brother that he can do to support you and your parents from a distance. Yes. Like, there’s a lot they could pay the bills. He can do research. He can plan, you know, outings and events. He can find different programs for, you know, so a lot of things can happen online. He can certainly send a DoorDash gift card, um, different things, things like that. But I like to say whether you’re using a cap or, you know, other coaching services, I do some coaching, but I don’t do a lot of it. It’s just not scalable for me. But I certainly am willing to kind of get someone on the right track with a with a complimentary session. But the best way to find support is on your best day, because that’s the problem with a lot of us, is as we wait for a crisis to happen before we’re like, oh my gosh, the sky is falling. There’s all these different issues. What if what if you got in front of it and you went to programs like this and went to communities where you can learn from other people so that you have the tools and resources kind of building up, and then you know how to put them into practice. No, I love that.

Stone Payton: And I think that’s true in a lot of arenas. Getting in front of it early is so much better than late. Yes.

Elizabeth Miller: It’s so hard though. We’re just we’re not a culture that talks about these things like we just we’re we’re not good at it. But you could use this program, you know, like you could you could use the Scams and Fraud program to open the dialog and have the conversation and just say, I just heard this horror story. I’ve learned about this. I mean, people who I have known personally who are geniuses, like on, on paper, have fallen for scams that have cost them thousands and thousands of dollars.

Stone Payton: Oh, man. All right. So going forward, what is next for you? Are you going to try to continue to scale? And you know we joked about team, but might there be like the Miller certified caregiver team out there at some point? Or what are your long term plans for for the business? Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller: You know, it’s funny. Like, I have always kind of been a person who doesn’t want to manage a big team. I’ve, you know, even in my professional career, I was a leader without being a manager. I kind of liked that same kind of process for what this looks like. I really have been leaning into the corporate world because they need employers, the good employees, to stay working, and it’s costly for them to replace really good people. And we as family caregivers need the income now. And we need our future, our benefits now, and we need our future income, you know, through what we’re saving through 401. S and stuff. So I’ve been partnering with, with um companies instead of doing like a one off webinar really to be a strategic partner with them and offer monthly caregiver support sessions for their employees and the educational seminars and workshops, and really helping them build out their employee resource groups, their ERGs, as kind of a, you know, more and more companies have different ergs for different different groups. And so a good niche for me is a is a parent and caregiver type of or disability ERG or veteran ERG women’s and so forth. But helping them because these people are running their ergs on top of their day job, right? So what can I do to help them with that? And I used to lead a women’s erg where I worked before. So I have that understanding of what that what that could look like. Um, yeah. So I feel like that’s, that’s where, you know, doing more consulting and more integration with companies is really appealing to me right now.

Stone Payton: So how does the whole sales and marketing thing work for a practice like yours? How do you get the new business or the conversation about maybe working? Oh, yeah. How does that work? You know, it’s funny.

Elizabeth Miller: That’s like with all of us as entrepreneurs, stone like, I feel like we’ve got this iceberg and there’s the part that people see, and then there’s the rest of the stuff. Right, right. Yeah. For me, what that looks like is I use LinkedIn. I know that a lot of people that hire me are usually in the diversity, equity, inclusion, accessibility, belonging group or employee culture, or they’re a co-lead for their employee resource group related to caregiving. So I search for those folks I have like a CRM and a process to to reach out to them. And then hopefully my search engine optimization is working with my, you know, low budget that I’ve been able to put toward that. And people are finding me as well. So they’re they’re looking for those resources.

Stone Payton: So when you’re not doing this work and I don’t know when or where you’d find the time, but hobbies, interests, passions outside the scope of this work. My my listeners know that I like to hunt, fish and travel. Anything you nerd out about, I loved.

Elizabeth Miller: I loved to try new things. I mean, that can be new restaurants. I love to travel. I think it heightens all the experiences. We’re going to Traverse City for a wine, a wine vacation within my family. I love that my kids are over 21. We can do that. I’m playing pickleball. Um, yeah. I’m, um, you know, I do a lot of walking. I’ve got my dogs that that need to get out. I love to hike and try new trails. Um, and my husband is an entrepreneur as well, so he has his own beverage company, really, that he co-founded here in Georgia called Good Days, drink Good Days. Com and so, you know, we do a lot of tastings and festivals so that people can can try it. He’s a newly a sponsor for Kennesaw State University, which is exciting. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it’s a canned cocktail cocktail in a can. So he’s been in the beverage business his whole life, and now he’s out on his own. Um, with a with a co-founder that lives in Athens. Yeah. So. But really focused on Georgia right now. So it’s exciting to get. And so I’m you know helping him behind the scenes for that.

Stone Payton: And it must be really good for the both of you that the other person understands what an entrepreneur goes. Yeah. Goes through. And you really can be very supportive of each other. And now I can send him an invoice because now he got. He’s.

Elizabeth Miller: Oh, there. You got free advertising. Yeah. He’d be actually be great to have on.

Stone Payton: Well, we’ll get him on sometime. Yeah. Absolutely.

Elizabeth Miller: He’s a fun, fun guy to talk to. What’s his name? Jason. But we play pickleball together. We we really? Um. Yeah. I feel like we try to have a good balance. You know, he cared for his mom, too, so he certainly understands, you know, the caregiving world of it. And, um, you know, lots of tearful conversations when I was trying to quit my job and say, look, I think I can do this full time. Like, that takes a huge leap of faith. Um, yeah. So, yeah, we’ve been. He’s my prom date. I married my prom date, so we’re stuck together.

Stone Payton: All right. Shout out for Jason. We will. We’ll get him in the studio. I’d love to hear all about that company. How he built it up. What he’s doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’d be fun. So, uh, in a little bit before we wrap, I’m going to ask. Ask for you for a couple of actionable pro tips for those of us that are just beginning to for this, this to even be on our on our radar. But before we go there, uh, as if you haven’t done enough already to try to serve people like me and the folks you’re describing, you’re also an author. Yeah. Just tell us about the book.

Elizabeth Miller: Okay, so, um, I wrote a journal. It’s called the just for you daily self-care journal. It’s a prompted journal. So every on the top of every page is a question. And the goal of that was, you know, I found journaling and writing to be very therapeutic for me. When I was deep in this caregiving world, I had no business starting a business. Right. I had lots of things going on. Um, but I made time, you know, two, two times a week and went to a Starbucks on a Wednesday and Friday morning. And I just started writing, and sometimes the tears were, you know, coming out while we’re writing. But, you know, to talk about journaling with people is very intimidating. And not everybody is a writer. So I wanted them to have a low entry way to try it on. And by asking the questions. And the other thing that it does, I think, is that caregivers are really bad at putting focus back on themselves. So putting some of that back on them. And like, what did bring you joy when you were ten years old? You know, what does a perfect day look like for you? You know, what would you do if the internet was broken for three days? And so talking about these things so that they can write it out, um, and just try it on and kind of put those words on paper could be a good step. And what I love, the unexpected benefit of it is it really almost leaves a legacy behind if you, if you continue to do it. And I know some people have added to it every year, um, because it’s, you know, there’s a general date at the top and so you can add to it every year. But it would tell a lot about you. I think if it were a little artifact that somebody discovered later on.

Stone Payton: I’d never even crossed my mind. But my grandmother, who has passed. Boy, had she filled this thing out. Yeah. God, wouldn’t you love to have that?

Elizabeth Miller: Wouldn’t you love to have that? Yeah. And, you know, sometimes with older adults, too, I know people have used it for starting conversations. Like, I know my mom was bedridden the last two years of her life, so her world was very small. And so you had to get creative about the things that you would talk about and bring up. And this could be a conversation starter for somebody like in that situation where you could talk to them. I think even for a professional caregiver that’s working with older adults could benefit from it. Um, yeah. So it’s it’s the goal is to just, you know, prioritize self-care a little bit.

Stone Payton: Well, you’ve already shared so much, so many great ideas and you’ve got my, you know, got my wheels clicking. But let’s do leave our listeners with a couple of, I call them pro tips, a couple of actionable items and look, gang. The number one pro tip is reach out and connect with Elizabeth. That’s your number one pro tip, but let’s leave them with a couple things.

Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, I mean, there’s nothing to lose. You get a complimentary session. Okay. So do that for sure. Yeah. Um, but I do think finding your community is important. Starting the conversations early with your older adults and your care recipients about what they want to be true. I think sometimes we have our own expectations about what that looks like, and maybe use this conversation as a way to start that conversation and just say, I listened to this today. I’ve never really we’ve never really had a chat about, you know, what you’d want to be true or what does aging well look like for you? Um, and I think you can learn a lot. And listen, I would recommend listening more, um, and then schedule your self-care. Like, we think that, um, you’re not going to find the time. You’re going to have to create the time. So whatever that looks like, start small, five minute, 15 minutes. Maybe it’s a stretch break in the middle of your day. Maybe it’s something, a ritual that you do in the morning. I mean, it could even be just, you know, sitting with the journal and a cup of coffee or, um, you know, I think for me, it’s getting outside is really critical to me every day. It’s, um, I put things through a filter that, if it’s peace of mind or energizes you or is just pure joy, then that that’s self-care. So sometimes self-care is cleaning off your desk. Um, but I think trying on different things and encourage you to kind of maybe pat yourself on the back for what you’re already doing, that you didn’t call it self-care. Um, and then trying on some some new things and schedule that time for yourself.

Stone Payton: All right. We got a ton of coordinates that we need to leave for our listeners, because I want to make sure that they can tap into the the A cap. I want them to be able to find your book. I want them to listen to your podcast. I want to know how to connect with you. Okay. Let’s, uh, let’s leave them with some coordinates for all of that.

Elizabeth Miller: So a cap is a cap community org. And head over to the chapter for Cobb and Cherokee. And you can register for the programs and get the address there. Happy healthy caregiver. Anything that you want to know about that you can go to happy Healthy caregiver.com. You’ll link to the social media, the book, the podcast, the coaching appointment, the speaking, whatever you want. It’s there.

Stone Payton: Well, Elizabeth, it has been an absolute delight having you in the studio this morning. Thank you for your insight, your perspective, your enthusiasm. You’re a breath of fresh air. You are doing such important work. And we we sure appreciate you.

Elizabeth Miller: Thank you. Stone, thanks for filling my bucket today.

Stone Payton: My pleasure. All right, until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Elizabeth Miller with happy, healthy caregiver and everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying, we’ll see you again on Cherokee Business Radio.