Janine Monize With Gem Revealed and Leaders Who Prosper

Intro: [00:00:02] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Atlanta, Georgia, it’s time for Coach the Coach Radio brought to you by the Business RadioX ambassador program, the no cost business development strategy for coaches who want to spend more time serving local business clients and less time selling them. Go to brxambassador.com to learn more. Now, here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:33] Lee Kantor here, another episode of Coach the Coach Radio, and this is going to be a fun one today on the show, we have Janine Monize with Gem Revealed. Welcome, Janine.

Janine Monize: [00:00:44] Hello. How are you today?

Lee Kantor: [00:00:46] I am doing great. I appreciate you coming on. But before we get started, can you share a little bit about Gem Revealed? How you serve in folks?

Janine Monize: [00:00:54] Oh, my goodness. I would love to talk about Jim Revealed. It’s definitely a passion. Point for me, so just revealed is it’s your company, it’s it’s about 18 months old and it is what I would describe as a boutique matchmaking company, but more so it is really a relationship coaching and life coaching company to really help people focus on themselves and the growth that’s needed to really fall into a healthy relationship. And I use matchmaking as sort of the carrot and just don’t tell anybody that piece. Let’s not share that. But yes. So matchmaking, boutique matchmaking, really focusing on your personal journey.

Lee Kantor: [00:01:36] Now, what’s your back story had to get into this line of work?

Janine Monize: [00:01:39] Yeah, you know, I think I’ve been in the human development self mastery for almost 20 years, which is certainly significant to showing my age there. But it’s been quite a fun journey. And I would tell you that if we really dove back where I probably learned the most in my people skills came from being a hairstylist, the hairstyles for 18 years. And I absolutely loved it. And that is really where my people skills kicked in. And then I went to a Tony Robbins seminar to change the trajectory of my life. I went back to school and I first I went back to college, is more mature in my life to the night the night school thing, and got a degree in biblical counseling. And from there, that wasn’t enough. Kourou in education. And I went and got certified from Coaches Training Institute in relationship coaching, business coaching and life coaching. And I fell into the best corporate job for the Julius Group is just an incredible company. And it was a tiny little company back then. And I met the owner, John Julius. And today, today he is considered probably the authority on creating a world class customer service organizations, really focusing internally and externally clients and team members. How do we really make them breathing fans? How do we create loyal fans? And I absolutely loved that job. I was behind the scenes at Starbucks and Disney and Lexus, Harley-Davidson really figuring out how we create reading sales for these companies. And that is a big gig. It was a great gig. And going through a really hard divorce, I couldn’t travel anymore, and I wound up with AC close doors and that is the number one brand in furniture in the world.

Janine Monize: [00:03:34] So I was able to become our franchise. I was really able to create help create them, become the number one franchise in in all of the eight hundred different locations. So that that was a really great gig as well and really was focusing on how we created unbelievable leaders within the company and that toolbox that I created to really help people become their best selves throughout the company. I transferred it out into the field and it’s the same exact toolbox, really focused on how do we as individuals really look to become the best version of ourselves and thus was revealed was born. And the reason Jim revealed was born is because this is a staggering statistic. One out of every two marriages today are failing and that it creates complete havoc, havoc in our communities, with our children, with our finances in our homes. Every two marriages are failing. Why is that? Why why are we OK with disposable relationships? And so when I left the corporate world and I was building Somerfield, I really thought, well, where do I want my most passionate about? What do I really want to do? How do women want to make a difference in the world? And it really took the same exact toolbelt creating great leaders and really pushed it into this whole matchmaking relationship coaching company. And I have to tell you, it’s making a significant difference out in the world.

Lee Kantor: [00:05:09] So now do you find that the folks you’re working with, they have the skills to have a quality relationship, but they’re doing something to either not make the the wisest choice when it comes to partner? Or is it something that they’re doing to self sabotage? Like what are the kind of the mistakes that you’re seeing being made by folks?

Janine Monize: [00:05:31] Yeah, that’s a vast question. It’s big. It’s a big question. So first, I would just share my target audience is usually between 40 and 60, and that is more than likely. It’s women and a few gentlemen really coming out of divorce. And it’s some point what people are doing is just falling into a relationship. And most of the time it’s physical attraction that’s pulling us in. And then we take this robotic approach and we start getting to know people and there’s intimacy is created and there’s other things that start creating this emotional connection before we’re taking the time to get to know somebody. And that’s the key problem right there. And whatever is in your past, if you haven’t dealt with that yet, you haven’t really learned a really strong ability to communicate or if you’re somewhat of an insecure person, all that baggage is going to come forward into the next relationship. But more importantly, what I would point out, and this is this is really this is the money the money spot right here is most people don’t know themselves well enough and they’re just compromising. They want the relationship. I’ll even maybe use the word desperate to be in a relationship. And they don’t know themselves well enough. So they just, again, get pulled in by some sort of emotional connection or physical connection without really taking the time to find out is the true alignment with this person or are we really are we really going to have a relationship that is filled with fulfillment instead of friction and compromise? And so the first thing that we do in general reveals, of course, we’ll get to the matchmaking piece, but that’s way down the road. The first thing we want to do, and this sounds trite or trendy, we want to find your purpose.

Janine Monize: [00:07:24] But if you really think about it, if you stand firm for a moment, what is your purpose? What is it that light you up? What gets you out of bed in the morning? And if you’re not running after that dream, if you just got the nine to five job and you’re just showing up to get the paycheck, then your relationship becomes what you’re living for and you don’t have anything that’s driving you. And if you don’t have that, that’s going to make your relationship the savior. And that’s too much pressure for anyone. Every person listening you need to be going after. What is that purpose? What are those big ambitions? What is it that’s driving you and exciting you? That should be the main thing, because honestly, that makes you more exciting. It makes you more interesting and it makes you more confident. And it you’re bringing something to the table that gives you that. It just allows you to have more personality and character. Once you have that now, when you meet that person, that potential soulmate, when you come together, you’ve got a mind and have organic conversations to see. Is there a line that was my purpose and where this where this person is headed? Because if not, once again, you’re going to slip into this relationship. Claimant deemed us. This is my partner. She’s my partner. And you wake up one day down the road and it could be a year or two or three years later and go home again. How do I get here instead of taking the time to know yourself and what you want? And that’s only one piece of a larger toolbox. But that’s just one example. Before I go any further, I’d love to know your thoughts on that.

Lee Kantor: [00:08:58] Yeah, well, I think that, you know, you have to get yourself right in order to find the right partner. Absolutely. 100 percent in agreement there. Now, do you find that folks are. Like you said, maybe they’re focused too much on the other person and maybe they get hypnotized by some of the superficial things rather than more, you know, exploring layers deep before they really get involved in the relationship. Is there work that they can be doing on themselves to make themselves? You mentioned, you know, kind of understanding your Y and your purpose in order to get yourself ready to almost be found by that soulmate rather than you out there kind of lifting up every rock, looking for the soul mate, but to create something that’s more like a magnet, that the right person is kind of coming to you.

Janine Monize: [00:09:51] Wow. So, Lee, you you actually nailed it. You said it so beautifully. So that’s why I allow matchmaking to be the part, because most people think matchmaking is the answer. And it’s not because I’m willing to walk with you in that journey, but not before we do the true inner work. Because exactly what you said, once you do the inner work, I’ve seen it and I’ve seen it over and over and over again, you would try something radically different into your life when your confidence is secure, when you’re when you’re communicating from a place of trust and value and self worth, your life becomes totally different. And this might seem like unicorns and rainbows to some people, but you got to go and do the hard work. You got to make sure that you’re doing what is the purpose? Look at your mindset. Look at the limiting beliefs. Hire a qualified coach to really help dig in and create the achievable action plan. Create it. So you’re moving towards that. Now you’re going to find yourself with like minded people. And the next piece that we’re moving towards, like, what can people do outside of really zeroing in on your purpose? You really need to identify your core values, your life principles, these are critical to a healthy relationship. Most people don’t know what off the what are my core values.

Janine Monize: [00:11:17] But intrinsically, there are far girls. They should be the decision makers for our life. So what’s an example of that? So for me, one of my very, very deep and strong core values is my faith. So my faith is a pillar. It’s a cornerstone. It’s a non-negotiable. So for me, if I’m looking at I’m out and I’m focusing on my faith and being the best person to be, that’s so important to me that that I would have to make sure I know when I’m looking for a relationship that’s going to show up first. I’ve got to on and have again a conversation and see is there an alignment there? There’s alignment there. And that’s an easy example. But let me give you one that might not be so easy, but so important to understand and know yourself, maybe knowing those top five non-negotiable core values that you demonstrate every day. And if you fall out of it, it becomes chaos, confusion of friction. So another one for me is an incredibly spontaneous, maybe real big adventure. And that doesn’t mean that I have to find somebody exactly the same. But I would have to know that they would be OK with somebody like myself who goes to Africa and comes back. And I adopted a child without, you know, hey, I’m divorced.

Janine Monize: [00:12:34] But I went to Africa as a child. That’s a big deal. Went to Cancún. I brought back a dog. These are the things that show up in my life intrinsically. So if I met somebody, they would want to know that that that’s something. If they value security and peace, we not we might not be a great fit. There might be a limit to right now, but you got to be able to zero in on these things ahead of time before you open your heart, before you allow intimacy, before you get that great deep connection, make sure the core pillars, your core values. Another one for me is health and wellness. It’s so strong in my life. It’s not just like I like to get up and go for a walk in the morning, but it’s a deep, deep value maker. It’s it’s my decisions for my life, therefore, that would have to show up in somebody else’s life. So knowing your core values and knowing if there would be alignment with your core values with a potential soulmate, you want to do that organic conversation up front. Not an interview, not an interrogation, but you maintain a friendship until, you know, there’s true alignment that you could see a deeper, bigger and more mature commitment when there’s true alignment and beautiful communication.

Lee Kantor: [00:13:53] Now, it makes sense to me that you would have at least got some of the foundation of this kind of philosophy that you bring to the table through your business work, because I envy you a lot of business folks that are coaches’ around business. And it sounds like that’s the same kind of strategy when they’re looking for their ideal customer, ideal client that you want to have a match, you want to you’re doing more curating than you are of choosing and you’re making sure that you’re kind of matched with the right client so that you can serve them to the best of your ability. So I think there’s definitely a thread that goes between the business world and your world when it comes to matchmaking, because to me, that’s sales 101 is what you’re describing. You might be describing a poor person’s individual, you know, their life partner, but it works just as well as your client or your even your business partner.

Janine Monize: [00:14:54] Would you believe me? I never change one ounce in my toolbox. My leadership and sales tool toolbox is exactly the same. And that’s what I was able to do for twenty years and having incredible, incredible successful career and exactly what you said, how do we really sales one to one? You want to really make sure you get to know that person in front of you. You’re asking them really deep questions until you realize there’s no energy left and you understand the pain, you understand the pleasure, and then you focus on the pain to really make sure you give them the solution. And it’s really no different. There is no difference in what I’m doing. I’m really helping people understand what is the pleasure being with this person, what’s the pain of being with this person, and have you vetted out where those core values align of your purposes? The most of people, especially in the ages of 40 and 60, they desperately want to be in that relationship and they add in all kinds of stuff up front. They’re blaming people. They’re blaming their spouse. They allow the sexual intimacy to come into the relationship.

Janine Monize: [00:16:01] Way before the relationship was ready, and then it becomes a disposable relationship, and today you could just see it everywhere in our society. Relationships are falling apart. There’s no framework for success. And this is really blowing up our our community. It’s blowing up our children and it’s blowing up the work force. Because if you’re not really secure at home, if you’re if you’re in pain, if you are being verbally abused, if you think your loved one is cheating on you, if you think somebody doesn’t care for you anymore, that’s going to show up in the workforce. So unless you’re really secure looking in the mirror and doing the self work and I need to say it over and over again, it is not pie in the sky. This is deep down. Listen to the books, the podcast, get the right books, get the coach is going to pull you from where you are now to your best self journey. These are really important character traits and action steps that every person needs to go through. Yeah, you’re in a relationship. You need to enhance the one that you have.

Lee Kantor: [00:17:10] And, you know, it’s choose wisely because there are ramifications of not getting this right. This is probably choosing your partner is probably the biggest decision you’re going to make. And if just choose wisely, because the mistake here has ramifications, like you said, the ripple effects down the road for, you know, for the rest of your life.

Janine Monize: [00:17:33] Well, yes. So two quick, very quick stories. And I want to make the story more of a snapshot is I am divorced. And if I had known this tool box back then, I can comfortably and confidently say I wouldn’t be divorced. My marriage just felt it was salvageable. But yet I didn’t have the tools. I did not have the tools. I was married at twenty two and I was divorced by the time I was in my early 40s. And that said, it was sad for my children to settle around. And if I look back, I’m certainly not taking all the blame. That’s not what I’m doing. But all I would say is if I knew what I do today, I would not have been divorced. I went into a marriage thinking that man is supposed to make me happy and that’s not what happened. And therefore, I did not have the tools to really figure it out. And the wanted the grass to be greener and left. I still live an incredibly blessed life. But now to move forward without having the tool box that I have today, I allowed myself to be in a relationship that was really focused on that person. Exactly what I was saying before. I love this person. I care about this person is incredible friend, just a wonderful human being.

Janine Monize: [00:18:53] But our core values are not aligned and I love that relationship. Are you ready for this? Ten years. Ten years. I stayed in that relationship going back and forth, knowing that the core values weren’t aligned line until I finally was able to say, what am I doing? What am I doing this? Why am I not worth having what I wanted? And so it took a lot to walk away from a beautiful human being is not this is not about abuse or anything like that. It’s a beautiful human being. But I was living in compromise. I was not living in fulfillment. And I would ask everybody is listening, are you living in fulfillment or are you living for your your significant other and if you’re living for your significant other, if you’re married, you need to work it out. But if you’re just in a relationship, I encourage everybody, do your due diligence, get to know who you are and live for a purpose. That’s that’s big, big, lofty ambitions. There are coaches out there, qualified coach that could help you live such a beautiful, fulfilling life. And then, like we said earlier, then, you’re a magnet for somebody else who’s going to come along and light your relationship on fire.

Lee Kantor: [00:20:07] Well, if somebody wanted to learn more about your practice and have a conversation with you or somebody on the team, what’s the best way to get a hold of you?

Janine Monize: [00:20:14] Well, several ways. So Jim revealed is on every social media platform as revealed then. Also my name to me, Moniz, find me on all social media platforms, on Facebook, on Instagram, on LinkedIn. And then they can also just email me at the level at GM. That’s G m revealed are a B a movie dot com. Hello. I can reveal dot com. They can email and just say I’d love to know more and we’ll get back to you within twenty four hours for sure.

Lee Kantor: [00:20:49] Well thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing important work and we appreciate you.

Janine Monize: [00:20:54] This was a pleasure and a privilege.

Lee Kantor: [00:20:56] All right. This is Lee Kantor worth your next time on Coach the Coach Radio.