Nicole Reina With Mindset Coaching for Heroes

Intro: [00:00:02] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for Coach the Coach radio brought to you by the Business RadioX Ambassador Program, the no cost business development strategy for coaches who want to spend more time serving local business clients and less time selling them. Go to B.R. Ambassador to learn more. Now here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:33] Lee Kantor here, another episode of Coach the Coach Radio, and this is going to be a fun one today on the show, we have Nicole Reina with mindset coaching for heroes. Welcome to call.

Nicole Reina: [00:00:45] Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:47] Before we get too far into things, can you tell us about your practice? How do you serve folks? How how do you do your coaching?

Nicole Reina: [00:00:55] Oh, how do I do my coaching? So let me first off by introducing myself as a hearing impaired individual, so I really do appreciate you allowing me to the I could repeat yourself, but basically my my coaching I’ve done I I passionately help parents or children with disability. I work with them to help raise the level of consciousness through understanding the children’s frustration that they go through on a daily basis. Because when you’re dealing with a disability, a lot of times you think fluctuation, it affects the vibration that you are under, and the children really have no other way to express themselves, and they usually go to the potion that they love. And my aim is to keep the pilot that it is never about them. It is always about what the children are going through. So it is my desire to help them understand this process. So then when the children does have some kind of an output based on what they’re going through now, the parents have a deeper understanding of what triggered it and it never about the parent. Did they call it about what the child goes? Do that kind of the basis of my, of my coaching?

Lee Kantor: [00:02:03] Now is there some suggestions you have for parents that can that they can help their kids right now?

Nicole Reina: [00:02:10] Absolutely. I think breathing is the number one most important thing that we could ever do, because what happens when you breathe and you interrupt the thought process that’s happening in the mind? So any emotion is a manifestation of a thought that you keep thinking. So if the parent is visually witnessing, for example, a child that is going through a moment of frustration or an episode, so to speak, it would really help if they have some kind of a breathing technique. My favorite one is what I call the breathing technique and what that is. Did you take you count your breath going in and you count it up to four second and then you hold it for four seconds? And then when you pull it out, you push it out for four seconds and then you hold it for four seconds. So you do that process for about three minutes. And what happened? Did it interrupt the train of thought and a way to do a vibration? So you’re able to prevent the emotion from manifesting that coming from the negatively acting from what you’re seeing a lot of times the society that we live, then we react in the moment based on what it’s already created. And if we can learn just to step back and be more of an observer instead of taking things personally and the breathing of what helps to interrupt any of those negative thoughts that might be coming from defensiveness. So that would be my number one recommendation is to really find a breathing technique in the moment that helps you to combat the negative emotion.

Lee Kantor: [00:03:39] Now in your life, did you have a mentor or a coach to help you kind of gain this insight and knowledge?

Nicole Reina: [00:03:46] You know what, I think my coach Adidas and the the spiritual guide, I found them just resulting from the pandemic when I learned how to meditate and found a meditation that I’m able to get the inside. Now, when I was growing up to answer the question, I honestly felt alone because a disabled individual is in a whole different world. So when I was born, I was diagnosed with being deaf, mute, mentally handicapped and indictment for the rest of my life. So my story began when I was about four years old. My stepfather, my mom, remarried when I was three. He taught me. He sent me to speech therapy, and he believed that I was going to be an individual that could speak. And he wanted to make sure that I was given the opportunity to be able to hear, which is why they gave me hearing aids and then to speak, which is why they sent me to speech therapy. I went my whole life basically with the ambition that I would become a self doctor-patient individual that can overcome the handicap. And one thing that I really appreciate the most is that in my household, I was never perceived as a disabled individual. I was always treated the same as everyone in my household. I went to a mainstream school. I was really the only deaf child that was in the school, and I would just sit in the front of the class. I learned how to read lips. So I think through that encouragement of myself and really pushing myself to overcome, and I got to be, quote unquote like, normal like everyone else.

Nicole Reina: [00:05:22] It kind of what allowed me to overcome the disability portion. Now, when the pandemic hit, there was a lot of trauma that would be surfaced. And that I found what triggers that really affected me in the way that I was thinking and perceiving how others thought of me. And I believe I spend my entire life, so to speak, looking outside to please others. And I basically forgot how to go inside and to work on myself and really understand what were the triggers emotionally. Because for a very long time, I was not aware of my emotions. They just kind of happen. Whenever the triggers were, I would get frustrated or maybe upset or, you know, one of those triggers one at that moment. So to answer your question, I think that mentorship for me, I never really found anyone that could understand because it depended upon it very different to be in the world of the disabled. It’s a different perspective, and I found that it was hard to investigate and to let everyone know exactly what it was later on during the pandemic. However, when I started a spiritual journey and meditate and I was able to connect on a spiritual level, I was able to find mentors right now. That helping me with my own mindset, that gives me clarity. Not very much appreciated.

Lee Kantor: [00:06:45] Now, when you work with your clients, how what is the the issues they want help with the most?

Nicole Reina: [00:06:55] Right now, the biggest issue is understanding where you are and working on the self-love. I find that in the world that we live in, there are a lot of negative emotional triggers that make them basically prevent people from really living the life that they really want. A lot of the parents that I come across have sacrificed so much to make sure that their children are always, you know, taken care of most of the parents that I come across. They really dedicate all of their time to making sure that the child is what the what I’m looking for like, basically making sure that they’re comfortable, making sure that they don’t get frustrated, making sure that their environment is conducive to whatever their ability is. And unfortunately, when they put so much attention on the disability, they basically make it worse. And what I try to teach the parent is that if they can just see the potential and always focus on the potential and not really focus on what is it really helped. I think that having the hope, the hope that the child is going to be able to sufficiently take care of themselves independently, you know, whatever that looks like, if they can always keep that first and foremost in their mind and ensure that they they understand that whatever happened is nothing about them. It’s always about the children. And if they can separate that emotion from that, it really, really makes a difference because the self-love part is what really affect them. So, for example, a child to go to the pan, I remember with my mom, for example, I couldn’t I couldn’t get my information across the way.

Nicole Reina: [00:08:31] It was coming across and my mom was misunderstanding me. And unfortunately, the communication barrier that it did break with the people, with the unique ability to. And I got frustrated and then sometimes I would even raise my voice so I would practically yell or whatever it was because the energy keep building up. And unfortunately, what happened is the thought that that my mom is going through that for a while. Oh, did I do something wrong? How could I change how I speak? So, you know, Nicole didn’t yell at me, You know, what am I doing wrong? And how am I attracting the kind of behavior? And if that kind of intricate thinking that keeps propelling the energy that there and the conclusion of that it just becomes a very challenging way to live because in all, in all honesty, we all deserve to be happy and we all deserve to find joy. And you can find the joy if you understand that the situation that you end and temporary and find the love inside and really, really dig deep to understand what the child is going through, it’s really all about perception and understanding exactly what the child is really going through because it had nothing to do with them. So I think that the self-love piece is the one that comes up really repeatedly in my session because again, they, for whatever reason, they feel that the child, maybe they don’t love them as much or, you know, they think they have to change in order for the child to improve.

Lee Kantor: [00:09:53] When you’re working with your clients, are you working typically only with the parent or or the child individually or both?

Nicole Reina: [00:10:01] It’s usually with the parent. Now I do work with the children if the added level of the communication, if they’re able to communicate in a higher level of consciousness. So it all depends on where the child is in the life at the moment. Typically, the parent would be the first one that I work with because it’s a journey where the parent both changed your mindset and felt seeing things differently with the same situation that keep popping up. And then what happened there? The pattern felt the way another child, I think, felt improving, and at that point, I can do the coaching with the children. The awareness is raised to a different level.

Lee Kantor: [00:10:38] Can you share a story about a success where you helped a parent with their children or child get to a new level?

Nicole Reina: [00:10:48] Yes, I would love to, actually. Just recently I had a client of mine that was going through a lot. She started her own business, but in the middle of starting her own business, she was going through a divorce. And the reason why she was going through a divorce was because the father or the husband was an emotionally abusive individual. So she was trying to separate from that and creating a new business. And then on top of that, had a child with autism that was also deaf and had cataracts totally blind. When he was a newborn, he had Cadillac and had to have surgery to have them removed. So she was dealing with a disabled child and then also another sibling that was perfectly healthy. So she hurt if she was when the when she decided to get a divorce. Obviously, it was a toxic relationship and she needed to get a divorce in order to protect the environment of what is. However, her insecurities of herself and wanting to start a business and constantly thinking that she wasn’t good enough and that she worried her children because of the default, didn’t love her anymore and the child. But the unique ability to want that affected her the most because the communication is a bit different. So she worried that she was not creating the life that would give him the security that she felt like he needed. So once I spoke with her and she saw that myself, I am, I have to put that feeling.

Nicole Reina: [00:12:17] So I am considered profoundly deaf. So when I shared with her my story and then I explained to her about the perception of the child, and I let her know that when it comes to divorce and it comes to other situations that are really not her fault, it’s just the environment that she’s in and the decision making. While it does have an impact on the child, I firmly believe that the child still love the parents both way because the child is not really the one that’s involved in the situation. It’s more of the mom and the dad that’s involved in that. So when she learned to remove the fear that the child was even thinking anything of her, what she saw was that she was able to open up her heart and able to make better decisions and not react not to what the child looked like after she would have a situation for the child, for example, that that a fluctuating event when everything was said and done, he would go to her to her and she would cry it out, and she would be it would affect her. And if he would wake up the next morning, still afraid of what would happen if he created that vibration that carried with both. So then the crowd started having more and more episodes. The children are very, very attuned to energy. They can feel it. So whenever the parent acts around them had that negative energy swept off after a few started with me and I was able to change her mindset and to change her perception.

Nicole Reina: [00:13:42] And it did take a few sessions because he had to break the pattern that were already created from youth and youth of whatever her parents were from a child herself. So after a few sessions, she was able to focus on the love and realize that this is temporary and what her child is going through had nothing to do with her as she needed to make sure that she knew that she was a wonderful mom. That no matter what happened, no matter the situation, that the boy started to be distressed, whatever mistakes that she made, it really had nothing to do with how is she doing everything that she can the best of her ability and the country doing the best that she can, that all she can do? And then I found that right after the fact he was so up in the beginning of the session to be very down and depressive symptoms. But then after a few seconds, he come down very excited, very happy, and the conversation would focus more on the success of her child rather than the frustration that she had been going to. So her focus shifted into what was going right in her life instead of what was going wrong. And I think that is the most profound thing that anyone can do, because when you focus on what’s going right, that’s what you create more of.

Lee Kantor: [00:14:54] Wow, what an amazing and moving story. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Nicole Reina: [00:14:59] Thank you.

Lee Kantor: [00:15:00] Now, if somebody wants to learn more about your practice and get on your calendar and maybe have a conversation with you, what is the website?

Nicole Reina: [00:15:08] My website is I am Nicole Raynox. And they can go on to the website and select Contact Me the button on the website to be able to get onto my calendar. I can also be reached by email, which is Nicole at. I am Nicole Vanderkam, and I believe that the best way to contact me, actually if you are able to find the email. But that would be the place to go to learn more.

Lee Kantor: [00:15:34] Well, thank you so much for sharing your story today. Nicole. And that website, one more time is I am and I see only R e I and a dot com. Nicole Rayner, you’re doing important work and we appreciate you.

Nicole Reina: [00:15:51] Oh, thank you so much and I really appreciate you having me. Thank you.

Lee Kantor: [00:15:55] All right, this is Lee Kantor Willis Hill, next time on Coach the Coach radio.