Nancy Steiner With Steiner Coaching Solutions

Intro: [00:00:02] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for Coach the Coach radio brought to you by the Business RadioX Ambassador Program, the no cost business development strategy for coaches who want to spend more time serving local business clients and less time selling them. Go to brxambassador.com To learn more. Now here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:33] Lee Kantor here, another episode of Coach the Coach Radio, and this is going to be a fun one today on the show, we have Nancy Steiner with Steiner coaching solutions. Welcome, Nancy.

Nancy Steiner: [00:00:43] Hi.

Lee Kantor: [00:00:44] Hey. Before we get too far into things, tell us about Steiner coaching solutions. How are you serving, folks?

Nancy Steiner: [00:00:52] Steiner coaching solutions reaches out to all different kinds of people, all different ages. I’m serving people who are pivoting in their lives, changing from one job to another or from one career to another. I’m also coaching at the Harvard Business School. I work with a class of budding entrepreneurs and I coach their professor as well. So that’s really fun because I work with young people there who have amazing ideas, and I coach women’s groups, women mostly who are in the 50 and older category, although I’m about to start a group for women who are in their thirties. Everybody that I coach wants to sort of move themselves forward in their lives. Whatever that means, they want to be the best they can be. They’re either stuck or they’re happy where they are want to do even better. It used to be that coaching was for companies who were feeling that they were struggling or a little lost in their management directions. And now what’s happening in the world of coaching is that people want to be coached, who are doing great and want to be doing even better than great. But there are plenty of people that I work with who are not doing great. So it really runs the gamut. I I do not have a coaching niche against the advice of lots of people. I will coach anyone with whom I feel I have an authentic connection. If I if I feel that I can really help you, then I’ll work with you.

Lee Kantor: [00:02:30] Now, what’s your back story? Have you always been involved in coaching?

Nancy Steiner: [00:02:36] No, no, no, no. I for about 40 years have been making films as a network producer. I created series and one offs for CNN, NBC, PBS, HBO, Bravo, Turner Broadcasting. So I came to coaching in 2018 when I had a life threatening illness sort of forced me to have downtime for 12 weeks. And at that point I had just made fifty two pieces for the Council on Foreign Relations, which is a global think tank. And these were little sort of six minute sort of mini docs that explain global diplomacy to people in over 100 countries. And I was really feeling like I wanted to have an immediate impact on people’s lives because my life had just been immediately impacted by illness and I had no sense of how much more time do I have carp, a carp. And I’ve always been a real people person, and my genius therapist, Mark BANKEX, said to me, You ought to be a coach, Nance. You’ve been a coach forever, so why not get paid for it? So I became a coach and went through 14 months of intensely vigorous training with a gold standard outfit called IPAC, and I got my master certification and put my shingle out in twenty twenty. So I’ve been doing this for two years and it’s been going incredibly well. And I cannot begin to tell you how much I love it. And the last thing I want to say about it is that there actually is connection between coaching and being a producer. And that is that as a producer, I interviewed people from every walk of life imaginable. The most famous, the most powerful, the least famous, the least powerful. But my job was always to get somebody to feel comfortable giving me their story. And so now what I do is I work with people once I know that they’re comfortable and I’m comfortable helping them. I will work with somebody to create the next chapter of their own story.

Lee Kantor: [00:05:05] Well, I’m glad you brought up your background as a producer, somebody who has consumed a lot of television and movies over the years. I’ve always seen producer, an executive producer and all kinds of different producers. Can you educate the listener to what a producer does? It sounds like they do a little of everything, and there’s different kind of producers for different tasks that are involved in a production.

Nancy Steiner: [00:05:29] Lee, that is such a great question. You’re exactly right, producers do whatever their bosses think they want their producers to do, and that can be anything from booking talent, you know, celebrity bookings to shooting those interviews and creating topics for people. Producers do all the stuff that gets great credit and all the stuff that gets the blame. When things go bad, it’s the producers fault when things are wonderful. The producer did it. So as a producer, what I’ve done is I’ve created a lot of content, come up with some ideas, transform those into films and pieces. I’ve also, you know, it really does rain range so, so dramatically from what the assignment is. So as a coordinating producer, you might be responsible for coordinating a series of interviews that are going to be taking place within a series. As a senior producer, you are sort of managing producers below you and guiding the production. And I’ve done all of these things. I’ve been a coordinating producer, a senior producer and executive producer, the whole nine yards. So executive producers largely are responsible for funding and getting the funding put together. If you’re an executive producer for a network like NBC, you’re responsible for the team, you’re the team captain and you don’t have to raise the money because it’s already there. So your job is to really put a staff together and manage the entire operation. Does that help?

Lee Kantor: [00:07:23] Yeah. So it’s more of an operational role rather than maybe the director is in charge of the the elements of the thing that gets on the screen.

Nancy Steiner: [00:07:34] Well, the director in television is very different than the director in a movie. What a director does in a movie is what a producer does in television. So in at least, that’s how it was when I was in television. So it may be different today, but I don’t really think so. A director is really responsible for how everything looks and and sounds and fits in on every major edit in the editing room as it is really in charge for the content in charge of, excuse me, a charge of the content of the production. And a producer is also responsible for creating that content for going out and getting that content and making sure that it’s exactly right.

Lee Kantor: [00:08:20] So now having that background that seems to kind of it’s a natural really evolution to get into coaching because you have to be kind of a generalist and understand the big picture and help something kind of evolve into that finished product that everybody is looking for.

Nancy Steiner: [00:08:39] That’s exactly right. You really have to be able to sort of get the lay of the land, be a quick study of a human being and stay with them so that they can be doing exactly what they want to be doing in their lives. And you have to make sure that they’re making tangible progress with you, that you’re coaching is really working and really penetrating through whatever problems or circumstances their life is creating

Lee Kantor: [00:09:05] Now for you personally. Was it that big of a leap to go from being a producer to a coach? Or it sounds like. There’s a lot of emotional, kind of visceral resonance for you that this is maybe where you should be like, you feel very comfortable in this role, it sounds like.

Nancy Steiner: [00:09:24] I really love it. I can’t say enough great things about it. It’s so amazing for me to have an impact on somebody’s life. Immediately, I can get on the phone with somebody who’s feeling really low and within an hour of working together. When they leave the call, they’ve shifted. There has been an actual palpable shift in their attitude and in their behavior, in their tone and most of all, in their outlook for the next couple of weeks or days. So coaching is so productive and exciting to me because I get the I get the gratification of the audience’s reaction immediately. And that’s really why I went into this because I am a people person and I love hearing people’s stories and to think that I can help them was just like even more amazing to me than producing films about them.

Lee Kantor: [00:10:22] Now you mentioned that it was important to you to get the credential and to go through the training in order to do this at the at a high level, right? Was that something that you were like, OK, if I’m going to really do this, I have to have some sort of foundation or some sort of a system that I can execute so that I make sure that I’m delivering what I want to promise.

Nancy Steiner: [00:10:45] Absolutely, and I had to be. It had to be even. I’ll take it a step further. Lee, it was really an education and nothing short of a coaching education that I got, and I have a toolbox now that I’m very comfortable with and very grateful for. That guides me in every single session that I have. And without those tools and without that education, I would not consider myself a legitimate coach

Lee Kantor: [00:11:10] Because it gave you the framework to have a conversation that can get an outcome that your client wants. Or because I would imagine you have a lot of knowledge, just your your work history and your, you know, human life history that you can have a conversation with someone casually or informally that might, you know, cause a change. But this gives you kind of more tools in order to help the person or move them faster to the outcome.

Nancy Steiner: [00:11:39] That’s exactly right, and it does help you move faster towards the outcome. And unlike other modes of, you know, wellness coaching wants to get you through this process. Not fast, but we don’t want I think we as coaches don’t want clients to feel that they’re in this for the next five years. This is not that kind of situation. Most often, although some people hold on to life, coaches and corporations hold on to coaches for years and years too. But it’s pretty exciting to be able to watch another human being move through their process within a year or so or even less, or maybe a little more, but to see that they are actually getting from A to B where they want to go. And I think that my skills as a producer came into this with a with a sort of organic capacity for listening. But I think that coaching and my coaching education has transformed my listening to another level, and my definitely has transformed my understanding about human beings to another level because there’s nothing that can be more exciting and more invigorating for me. Anyway, then, than engaging with the human being and hearing what their situation is and knowing that I have now learned what empowering questions are to ask them. You know that that I can enable another person to hear themselves talk and just through that come to a deeper understanding of where they want to be going.

Lee Kantor: [00:13:21] Now, is it a challenge for for you as someone who was intimately involved in so many projects to want to inject yourself to help them like and do it yourself, to help them faster so they can get where they want to go? Because, you know, like, Hey, if you do these three things, this thing’s going to work a lot faster. But I got to kind of, you know, kind of nudge you and help you, you know, realize this and coauthor this yourself in order to get the most impact.

Nancy Steiner: [00:13:51] It’s exactly. And it is hard sometimes because I’m a fixer, you know, by nature and being a producer really hammers that home. And so it is sometimes difficult for me to sort of sit back and listen, really, really listen and ask the question that I think is going to bring about the AHA moment instead of just saying, Well, why don’t you just do this right?

Lee Kantor: [00:14:16] It’s right in front of you. Like, like, you see it as clear as day.

Nancy Steiner: [00:14:20] Yeah, but it gives the person absolutely no power, no learning capacity. If I do that and so their needs come first. You know, I put I sublimate my need to fix and I put forward their need to to learn this themselves.

Lee Kantor: [00:14:37] Now is that where the going through the coaching training helped you? Kind of OK, I got to pump the brakes here. I got to let them self discover this, and I can maybe leave some breadcrumbs that helps them. But I got to just, you know, shut up a little bit and let them figure this out.

Nancy Steiner: [00:14:52] Absolutely. That’s a huge change for mainly because normally, you know, with my children, let’s just say, and sometimes even with my spouse, I have been in the past now, you know, a micromanager. And so now it’s the absolute opposite. I hang back, I wait for my children to call me. I don’t call them half as much. I don’t dare butt in to a clients line of thought. Now, you know, occasionally I will say, may I share a response with you? And when I set up the coaching relationship, I will ask the client if you want me to challenge you. Let me know. So that I can, if they want, say now, you know, would you think about this, would you consider thinking about this a different way now and offer that

Lee Kantor: [00:15:51] Now when you were going through your career, was there an opportunity for you to be coached at any point? You mentioned having some counsel? But was there an actual coach at any point in your career or was this kind of a whole brand new world once your counsel mentioned it to you?

Nancy Steiner: [00:16:11] Leigh, I didn’t even know what a life coach was. I thought life coaching was like for people who can’t find other work. So they call themselves life coaches like people who can’t teach gym. You come life coaches. I was completely ignorant and I was wrong about every supposition that I had. So it was a whole new language. When I walked into my coaching education’s first seminar, I went up to the teacher and I said, Listen, I’m a journalist by training. I don’t know if I’m ready to drink the Kool-Aid here. And he looked at me and he said, Huh, well, you’ll figure it out. And he was right. And you know, any any thing I thought, really every single thought I had that first day proved to be wrong. And that’s one of the things that I loved about it because it was fantastic and exciting and the people were marvelous and really interesting and smart and accomplished and really had sort of a drumbeat that was that they were marching to. That was really interesting to me. So coaching is a whole universe that I came to embrace.

Lee Kantor: [00:17:27] Now you mentioned coming into coaching with maybe some bias against it, but you opened your mind to it. How do you help your clients that maybe have that same type of skepticism?

Nancy Steiner: [00:17:40] You know, actually, that’s kind of an easy part of coaching. I find that reframing how people think with them, helping them reframe their thoughts usually is something that people want to do, even when they’re stuck. They know they’re stuck and they want to become unstuck. So through a series of questions that I ask, I can help a person become unstuck and reframe their thinking, you know, and offering offering things to them. Would you be interested in trying this? What would happen if you thought about it this way?

Lee Kantor: [00:18:22] Now, are there what are I mean, I’ve heard the word stuck a lot, there’s now it seems like a lot of books using the word stuck and unstuck in the titles. Are there kind of symptoms or clues that a person might be stuck, but they might not have the self-awareness to know they are stuck?

Nancy Steiner: [00:18:42] Yes, I can give you two biggies procrastination and perfectionism. You know, I can’t finish that because it’s not perfect yet, so I’m going to take another six months and really work on it, and then it’ll be perfect. And then I’ll be done. And then those six months pass by and the person says, Yeah, well, you know, it’s just not right yet. So those are warning signs and perfectionism and procrastination can often do a little dance together. So your perfectionism sort of fuels your procrastination. If that makes sense to you, so those are two warning signs, if you’re procrastinating, you’re just not getting through your to do list the way you should be or you want to be. I don’t believe there are any shoulds, but if you’re just not making the progress that you want to be making, that’s a red flag, right then. And there, you know, the chapter is not written. I’ve thought about it. It’s not written. Or, you know, the desk isn’t cleared. My house isn’t organized. Whatever it is, whatever it is, those are the red flags that you might be stuck. And of course, the number one red flag would be that you feel unmotivated to do anything.

Lee Kantor: [00:19:56] So if you’re getting into that kind of place, sorry, sorry, not a problem. It’s just it’s real life. This is what happens if you’re in a place where your your momentum as may be waned and you’re kind of questioning, should I even be doing this? That’s probably your own evolutionary inside system telling you, Hey, maybe you need help. Or maybe you should reach out to somebody like yourself as a coach to help you through this kind of period because it’s probably not healthy to live in that space for a long period of time.

Nancy Steiner: [00:20:36] That’s right. That’s exactly what being stuck means. It means that you’re living in a place for whatever period of time. You can be stuck for a day, but you can also be stuck for nine months. Whatever it is, if you feel like you’re just not getting to where you want to be, if things aren’t moving the way you want them to move, then you’re then you’re stuck and and life coaching is all about freeing that up for you. It’s like an emancipation that allows you to become what and who you want to be.

Lee Kantor: [00:21:11] Now, have you found that when a person takes the leap and says, OK, you know, I’m stuck because some people might feel like this takes a level of vulnerability and trust in order to enter this type of relationship, they have to say. Some people might perceive it as a weakness that I should be able to figure this out. But when they take that leap and they go through a period of coaching, and I don’t even think it has to be a lot of coaching, but it has a ripple effect not only to themselves if they really embrace it, but it could even go into their personal relationship with their family, with their kids, you know, with their friends because they have this kind of glimmer of what’s possible and they they can’t help but want to share it.

Nancy Steiner: [00:21:56] Exactly, and it does affect every relationship you have in your life. And when I’m doing relationship coaching, it’s amazing to me how people are so vulnerable and and how it does sort of help. Coaching can help you, even if you’re not coming to me for relationship coaching, even if you’re a business person and you want your team to be doing better or for your own results to be more effective, every relationship that you have in your life is help through coaching because you’re learning how to listen and you’re learning how to ask really good questions, and you’re learning how to understand what’s in front of you in ways unimagined.

Lee Kantor: [00:22:41] Now, do you have any kind of action items for somebody that is maybe our age that is saying, You know what, I I am kind of stuck and I there has to be a life out there that maybe is more than what I’m having right now. Is there any advice you could share with someone who is maybe in the second act ish of their life to take the leap? Is there something they could be doing today or tomorrow that’ll give them the strength to take that leap?

Nancy Steiner: [00:23:13] I would say like that every day in your life, you have an opportunity. Every minute of every day. You have the chance to be whomever you want to be, whatever you want to be. And if you can come to an understanding of here’s what I really want to be doing, you can do that. You have the capacity to do that. You just have to propel yourself forward by creating baby steps and following through. It’s really simple. I mean, this is not brain surgery. If somebody is at a point where they want to pivot, they’re at, you know, in their fifties, sixties, seventies, they just don’t know yet what it is. I will work with them to help them figure that out, but they can do a lot of the work themselves to just by thinking it through making lists of What do I want to be doing? What is what do I want three o’clock in the afternoon to feel like? What have I always wanted to do and never done it? So those are ways to begin this process. God, you know, I’ve always wanted to take piano lessons. Why can’t I speak Italian? That would be so fantastic or I’d love to have a career at sixty five, but I don’t really know what that is because I’m sixty five. Well, all of these things are possible. Any of this is possible. You can do these things, I would say to anybody as long as you follow through.

Lee Kantor: [00:24:43] Yeah. And and I agree 100 percent. People get overwhelmed with, well, you know, it’ll take me forever to learn how to speak Italian, but it’s like, Well, you can start and learn one Italian word today. And if you do one word a day, you know you’ll have 365 words at the end of the year, like it can be manageable if you break it down into the the tiniest steps.

Nancy Steiner: [00:25:07] That’s exactly right. You know, so many times people are looking for magic bullets, but just tell me and I’ll do it. Well, it’s really about you. It’s how much do you want to do this? If this is really important to you, you’ll do it because you can

Lee Kantor: [00:25:24] Write, I’m a big believer of those little baby steps. Compounding over time gives you a bigger result over time. But it’s not like you said a magic bullet that you just kind of wave a magic wand and then you’re there at the end of the journey. The journey is the the important part. The the outcome really isn’t. It’s the journey. Yeah.

Nancy Steiner: [00:25:45] I mean, in my own experience. It would have been very easy to give up on the coaching education process. It’s pretty damn hard with IPAC, you have to write several papers that are like seventy five pages, you have to be coached by groups, you have to coach groups, you have a mentor, a mentor coach who’s, you know, testing your coaching live during sessions. It’s grueling. But once you make a commitment to something that you really believe in, you can follow through. It’s really that simple.

Lee Kantor: [00:26:20] Well, it’s a lot simpler when you have somebody by your side, if somebody wants to learn more about your practice, is there a website?

Nancy Steiner: [00:26:27] Absolutely. And I and I would encourage people to go there. I’m happy to do complimentary sessions and begin there. My website is Steinar Stinney coaching solutions, Steiner coaching solutions. Well, Nancy

Lee Kantor: [00:26:45] Nancy, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing important work and we appreciate you.

Nancy Steiner: [00:26:50] We thank you so much for finding me, and I really love talking to you. So thanks so much for this.

Lee Kantor: [00:26:57] All right, this is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you next time on Coach the Coach radio.