Kristy Johnson with Spotlight Dance Studio and Joe Cianciolo with Front Porch Advisors

Intro: [00:00:06] Coming to you live from the Business RadioX studio in Woodstock, Georgia. This is fearless formula with Sharon Cline.

Sharon Cline: [00:00:16] Welcome to Fearless Formula Friday, where we talk about the ups and downs of the business world and offer words of wisdom for business success. I’m your host, Sharon Cline, and today on the show, I have one of my absolute most favorite returning guests, Joe Cianciolo. He is the human capital strategist with Front Porch Advisors, and he has brought someone he’s been working with who I know as well through our networking meetings. Kristy Johnson. She is the co-owner of Beyond the Spotlight Studio, and she’s also the compliance manager at Cherokee County Transportation Department, also called Cats. Welcome to the show.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:00:52] Thank you for having us.

Sharon Cline: [00:00:53] You’re welcome. I was just saying to Joe before the show started that this is one of my absolute favorite shows that we do because I am so fascinated by why I do what I do. And I’m I think a lot about myself. I just want you to know that I’m getting it right now. I think a lot about me and not so much about why other people do what they do as much as like, do I like what I just did? And if I don’t, why did I do it? And what are my choices? And this is the ongoing conversation in my head. It’s fabulous. But what Joe does is that he actually makes it has a has a template which allows you to kind of instead of me judging myself and the things that I’m doing, it allows me to look at here are the positives of the things that I do, and here are the things that could trip me up. But here’s a tool to use to go around it, and that just makes me feel so much less like I’m, I don’t know, like my own worst enemy and that I can’t get what I want. So would you say that that’s an accurate reflection of what you do? Joe Well, that’s.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:01:51] Why I was watching Kristy, because Kristy has worked with me for for years, actually. And yes, that is exactly. I mean, hurray. We’re done. We’re done. Yeah. No, I mean, we are all unique and we are. I don’t know. I think we’re all our own worst critic. So the components that you discussed are described in what? What? Kristy is very, very well practiced in is understanding how to be aware of yourself. You talked about it in terms of why you do the things that you do, the choices that you actually do have in it. And rather than being critical of yourself, we study awareness and then we study acceptance. And that’s a piece that I just recently within this year have started using that term. I’ve been doing my own research into that. Sometimes we can be very aware of those patterns but not accept them.

Sharon Cline: [00:02:39] Oh my gosh, that’s like up at two in the morning moments where I’m like, Why did I say, Why did I think I know better? And maybe I was hungry? Like, I come up with all kinds of reasons to justify some of the things that I’m very critical about myself.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:02:54] And then you can talk yourself onto and off of ledges that way. And what I talked to Kristy about earlier is if you can be, I don’t know, grounded in who you are, what you bring and what you need, then it helps you to choose actions accordingly. And when you are off the reservation, then like you said, we have tools for that. We have tools that help you remember. Oh my gosh. No wonder why this feels the way it does. I’m really excited that Kristy is here today because Kristy’s world is different than my world. Yet she and I use a lot of the same dialog, the same communication styles and terminologies. And we also know how to kind of calm each other down so that we can face something much bigger, you know, as opposed to getting really frazzled by the annoying daily. Sometimes you get stuck in the grind of tasks and sometimes you feel like the world has all these expectations of you and realize, Oh wait, that’s my problem, not the world’s problem or whatever it is that you’re wiring actually brings to you. Got it.

Sharon Cline: [00:03:55] So some of the things that I do is I can spread myself kind of very thin because I don’t like to say no specifically. If someone asked me for me like, Oh, you know, I thought of you, you would be so great. And I’m like, What? You thought of me? When did you think you thought of me? Like, the next thing you know, I’m like, Oh, my God, You like. Like, it’s pathetic. It’s just like something I judge myself for really harsh because I know that that’s. Those are magic words for me. The next thing you know, I am roped into something that I didn’t even really think that through very hard if I wanted to do, but because they thought of me and I’m so honored by that, I’m in. And it’s like those are the things that I can see as a problem. But like I would imagine you, Joe, having so many skills that you could give me a potential, I could take that moment, you know, not become ungrounded because that’s, that’s like one of my favorite tools is to become ungrounded and then just kind of get through it and then think about it later. But I would love that that pause that gives me a moment to choose a response that’s really authentic to me because it’s really more about me and like what I want, as opposed to they want me. Oh, my God, Yes.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:05:02] Can you hear her wires right there? Okay. So a couple of things. One of which is the recognition piece can be an energizer for you as a believer that we’ve talked about this before.

Sharon Cline: [00:05:13] Oh, yeah. I’m a believer. Case you didn’t guys didn’t know who was listening.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:05:16] And the caretaker piece doesn’t feel worthy, right? So for you as a combo, that’s an interesting conundrum because you like the accolade, yet you feel unworthy at the exact same time. But when you study that and understand sort of the groundedness of it, what you realize is that what you connect to in terms of when somebody thinks of you and you’re like, Yes, wow, that makes me feel great with the understanding that you don’t have an obligation to say yes if there is something that is of shared value with that person or with the idea or whatever, then you get the opportunity to do both of those things, which is to say yes, with the ultimate care that you naturally provide. But as Christy can probably speak to the caretaker, you want to talk about where that could get you in trouble. Yeah.

Kristy Johnson: [00:06:05] So, I mean, I’m a caretaker. I’m a caretaker first, and so I will spread myself. So thin that then you do, like you were saying, just feel like you have to do those things. I said yes. Yeah. And that, like, I.

Sharon Cline: [00:06:22] Can’t let someone down.

Kristy Johnson: [00:06:23] Exactly. And you’re you’re honestly just you’re doing it because you are, you know, personally wanting to have a good like, you know, perception of what they think of you and things like that. So and it really leads to like burnout. You know, you don’t want to help anyone and you’re just drained by the end of it and that’s so easy. And you want to just take it all back. Like, you know, when you do get burnt out, you don’t want to help anybody because you’re feeling that way.

Sharon Cline: [00:06:57] But here’s here’s what’s interesting about that, though. And tell me what you think of this, Joe, is that I don’t want to help anyone, but that will include myself because I’m so tired that I really want to I need to do laundry because I need to do laundry. And I’m so burnt out that I will not do any of the things that I’ve been frustrated that I can’t do because I’m so burnt out from other people. And so, yeah.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:07:19] You guys see me on the edge of my seat. I’m always you both keep saying the same words need and have to need to and have to. And those are Kryptonite for caretakers especially and for people who are outer driven. Right? So when we talk about the expectations wiring versus the personality wiring, that’s where they go together. And so when somebody is externally wired, I’m internally wired so nobody can tell me what to do If I don’t if it doesn’t make sense to me, I won’t do it if it makes sense to me. Awesome. Like if you tell me I need to do the laundry and I don’t find any reason to it, I won’t. But if I realize obviously I have to take care of my kids, you know, my spouse, I got to do those things. It’s because I think it’s important. It makes sense to me to do it. When you say words like need to and have to, it is a very dominating outer expectation. And the problem is there is that you aren’t taking care. I’m going to go through like a number of tools real fast. I’m ready without calling out the tool, but the caretaker can take care of everybody else except for themselves.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:08:19] What I always have to tell the caretaker is if you don’t provide care for yourself, if you don’t, if you don’t give yourself that time, you cannot provide the same level of care to others. So when that happens is you you have spread yourself so thin because you’re allowing all these expectations around you to dictate what you’re doing well, that takes down your natural strengths. It doesn’t allow you to do them. So if you had to, had to need to do the laundry for your family. Is it because you want to you want to be known as that person that’s always there to make sure that like I was sitting there doing laundry while I was eating lunch, hurrying to get here, realizing that I love that my kids have that person like me to fold the laundry for them so that when they come back from camp, everything is already ready and done for them. And that is a show of care and it’s an opportunity that I have to show my kids that they deserve to be cared for. But if I don’t take care of myself first or at all, then it will always feel like I’m chasing.

Sharon Cline: [00:09:18] Okay. But I have a question for you about that. So. So if I’m. Okay, so you phrased it. Sorry. I’m thinking on the fly. This is just great. It’s great on radio. This is so great. Okay, so if I. Have that obligation, thought process. Right? That okay, well, I agreed to do that for this person. This person, this person. In some ways, I like the surrender of control of my life to someone else who has asked me to do things so that I don’t have as much choice. Well, no, I mean, this is the result of what people have needed from me. And of course I’m going to do it for them. So in some ways, I’m surrendering the responsibility of the effects, the outcomes of them. Right.

Kristy Johnson: [00:10:03] I think that, you know, especially being in that mindset quite a bit, it’s also really understanding your identity too, that like you get so used to having people rely on you and that becomes who you are. And really a lot of us, I know myself personally, I’ve had to sit down and really like think about what do I like, what I don’t like, what is it like, Who do I actually want to be? And instead of allowing other people to take that choice away from me because I don’t want to make the decision, I don’t want to be the bad guy. Yes, I want to be me. I don’t need me. I want to be needed and I want to have that relationship with them. And that’s how I feel, like I can love them. But what am I doing to, like, separate myself and like, put myself last? You know? Is it really like a true reflection on how much I love myself?

Sharon Cline: [00:10:58] How did that sound? Joe, are you having a moment?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:11:00] I’m having a moment.

Sharon Cline: [00:11:01] You deserve that moment.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:11:04] I can’t wait to go back and replay that one again and again. It was said very, very well because the outer accountability and the outer expectations are fine. I mean, some people find that to be a negative. I don’t once you are aware of it and accept it, then you can act on it. And the thing is, is are all those tasks liberating for you because you have chosen to create your identity around that, or is it dominating to you because you really feel like it’s easier when people just tell you what to do?

Sharon Cline: [00:11:31] Both.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:11:32] Okay, So the liberating one, you have to make sure that you can measure. That’s one of the tools that we study in. I don’t know whichever of the programs that you would go through or whatever is that we have to say. Who are the influences in your life? Who are the people and what what kind of influence are you allowing? Are you making room for a balance of supportive people, people who are natural challengers and people who actually do liberate you for you to be you easy like you at your best. You without having to make excuses, without having all that inner talk, which is what typically drains you. And so you got to be able to then say, Wait, everything all these people, all these outer expectations are coming from people who feel like they’re providing nothing but challenge. And that is something that Christy and I’ve talked a lot about is how do you make time for the people who are natural supporters and how do you give them permission to also challenge you from a place of support first.

Speaker4: [00:12:28] Like a place of love.

Kristy Johnson: [00:12:30] And it’s like communicate, eating with them, you know, like really looking at, you know, there’s there’s that quote that, you know, the closest five people are the biggest influencers in your life. And so, you know, you become those five people. And if all of those five people are constantly challenging you, are you just okay being with them? Because that’s what you’re you know, you’re naturally in that world all the time. Or do you have liberators who are going to come and and support you and really lift you up? And, you know, even in those dark times, like are they are they around you? And do you actually know how to name them? That was my hardest thing was to.

Speaker4: [00:13:08] Ask you.

Sharon Cline: [00:13:08] Actually would like to ask just can we go back slightly like how did you become associated with Joe? Did you approach him? Did he approach you? I would like to know what the impetus was.

Kristy Johnson: [00:13:18] Yeah. So I actually have a great story of how we actually met. So our networking group had an afternoon social and I had been meaning to go. I just hadn’t. I brought my sister and we got split up and we were sitting, we were going around, we asked a couple questions with each other. And so I was answering the questions and I had a group that was just like life changing. Joe Was was there diesel? David Like, there was all of these wonderful people in the community and they just fed into me. They were like, You need to focus on this. You need to look at this and and you need to, you know, you need to come to the morning, you know, networking. And I was like, I can’t. I have a 9 to 5 job and there’s no way I can do that. And they’re like, Did you ask? And I said, No, I’ve never asked. And and so luckily, you know, the stars aligned. And I started going, you know, every Thursday morning. And but, you know, after that, it was just, you know, they saw me they they just fed into me ever since. And, you know, it’s honestly a huge reason of who I am today and like even becoming an entrepreneur with my sister, I mean, they just have, you know, changed the outlook, my mindset, because I was just like, I work a 9 to 5. That’s what I was taught. I go to school, I go to college, and that’s what I that’s who I become. And really, there’s a whole different world. And Joe really opened the world for me just to kind of explain like there’s different there’s different ideas out there and there’s, you know, different ways of viewing the world and yourself, which you’re just not taught in school. You know, I was you’re young, you’re.

Sharon Cline: [00:15:09] More encouraged to comply with and, and not be different because being different is, is could potentially be chaotic or a bigger personality. In school, it’s more about just not kind of being quiet, flying under the radar, doing what the teacher said don’t cause trouble.

Kristy Johnson: [00:15:24] And that’s that was 100%. My personality is I was shy. I didn’t I didn’t know how to talk to people. And and and so, you know, getting in front of these people who don’t even know me and are just like Christy, you have this like you can you can do it. And it’s like, that’s weird. Like I, I don’t think I can.

Sharon Cline: [00:15:44] It’s actually so sweet, though, The way that you’re talking about it is that you had ideas in your mind about what you wanted, but, like, life was happening to you as opposed to you’re taking control of life. Okay, Joe, you go.

Speaker4: [00:15:55] Joe, you go. Okay.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:15:57] You need to playback this when you go home and you need to listen to what you just said versus what you said earlier, which is.

Speaker4: [00:16:02] You know, this show, I get.

Sharon Cline: [00:16:04] To point everybody else. No, but actually, you’re right.

Speaker4: [00:16:06] I know a lot of.

Sharon Cline: [00:16:07] What I say is choice.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:16:08] But, you know, and choice sounds scary. And that’s why we keep working through. I mean, Christy has actually been very helpful, not only having come and sat on the front porch, she’s also helped me develop some of my newer tools and try to make it more accessible to a bigger audience, because that’s one of the things that’s hard. It’s very personal. I mean, not everybody wants to come and say, okay, cut me. Open and look for the insides that nobody sees. Luckily, Christy just happened to be sitting at a table of wildly bold. I remember that night very vividly. Lauren from Pie Bar was there.

Speaker4: [00:16:43] Oh, I love Lauren.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:16:44] She’s amazing. So imagine being sitting at a table for the first time with Lauren, David and myself and Christy. Like, they’re big personalities.

Speaker4: [00:16:52] Big, big.

Sharon Cline: [00:16:52] Personalities.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:16:53] But that’s what we all need, is we need people to be able to see us for who we are, not necessarily who we’re choosing to be every day, but who we can be. And we saw it in Christy very quickly, and we didn’t know what it was. Now, my job is human capital. I see that people have value. The value is in the person, not just your experience is what you do with your experience. How much do you understand your experience? Are you okay with that experience and what do you do with it? And so the fact is, is that when when Christy and I have have within, I don’t know, the last year or year and a half, I’ll send a new tool worksheet or something to her that says, hey, let’s work through this because choice doesn’t have to be as daunting as you think.

Sharon Cline: [00:17:36] But choice isn’t as daunting. But the but the. Responsibility of those choices are. What’s so scary to me is I the consequences of the choices and whether or not I’m going to be happy with those consequences or not make me disinclined to want to make them.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:17:57] Well, have you ever actually mapped them out?

Sharon Cline: [00:18:00] Well, I mean, in my head.

Speaker4: [00:18:02] Well, and so that’s different.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:18:04] And that’s the thing. Why? Because the responsibility of it is hard. And so, you know, for me, being inner driven, I once I commit to it because it makes sense that I would want to do it, I go crazy. And I’m a strategist, which means I need data. But for people who are unaccountable, especially caretakers who don’t feel like maybe they are worthy of it or they don’t, they would love to give it to everybody else, but they it’s scary to do it themselves. Is is I say, okay, let’s map it out. Let’s let’s and I’ll walk them through, you know, sitting on the porch. We actually have it in. I don’t remember which chapter that you were doing.

Speaker4: [00:18:38] You actually write this down.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:18:39] Oh yeah. Where we actually map out. Okay. When, you know, this is a natural driver, whether it be good or bad, and this is when it tends to happen. And and this is what I usually choose as a result. And each time I choose that these are the consequences. And the consequences over time are what create our reality. A lot of people say, I wish my reality was different. Well, you can’t change consequences. You you can’t even change your tendencies. You can only change the choice that you make as a result. But that requires having some kind of understanding of choices that you do make, which could even be isolating yourself from other is a choice. Or saying yes to everything is a choice and you have to then map the whole thing out. Once you map it out, you can start to apply it to every different situation or challenge or choice that you have to make and say, Oh, which one do, which one do I really want? And then for people who come to me and they say, I wish my life was different, okay, well, what do you want it to be? Let’s work backwards. We can do it any which way, but we have to be able to identify each of those pieces so that you can see the pattern.

Speaker4: [00:19:41] Is that what happened.

Sharon Cline: [00:19:42] With you, Christine?

Kristy Johnson: [00:19:43] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I still have.

Sharon Cline: [00:19:45] Problems ongoing, isn’t it.

Kristy Johnson: [00:19:47] Though? Yeah. I mean, I mean him as a human capital strategist over here. I mean, it’s just you have to work on yourself daily. I mean, I still am going back to like, you know, I still get shy in networking events. I still like I will get into a, you know, a funk and a habit of, you know, I like just want to stand by myself and and those things. I just know now, like when I see the signs and that’s really understanding yourself is, you know, understanding the signs of like, I’m in that habit again, You know, what? Can I get myself out of this habit and break it and break that monotony of it?

Sharon Cline: [00:20:21] Have you found a surprising trigger for yourself? In other words, sometimes when I watch a movie that is like overly romantic and very sweet, and at the end of it, I like shut the TV off. And then I look at myself alone in my house, and then all of a sudden, like, I have a whole thought process that comes into play that I’ll be very different after watching a movie in my feelings and what I think then before. So I know for myself that I have to kind of choose when I’m in the mood to really go down that road. Sometimes I don’t know that I’m going to, but I was wondering so that maybe that’s not surprising for me because I don’t do what you all do yet, but.

Speaker4: [00:21:04] I’m saying yes. She said.

Sharon Cline: [00:21:06] Yes, Oh, no, that’s on the radio and everything. Yeah, but like, do you have you found that there are certain things like if you see a certain person or a certain car or are there triggers that were surprising to you?

Kristy Johnson: [00:21:18] So one of mine that I have realized, you know, we were talking about, you know, like overextending yourself and burning out. I realized by going through this process that when I start to drink way more caffeine, if I have a Starbucks iced coffee in my hand daily, that I have started to like put myself last because I am codependent on that, that like caffeine, I need it. And it’s it’s weird because it’s only a Starbucks, you know, iced coffee for some reason. No one else like no other coffee company. But but it is it is very like I will just get in that habit and I just know that, you know what, I have to take a step back because something’s going on with me and and I’m I’m off balance.

Speaker4: [00:22:06] Well, that isn’t.

Sharon Cline: [00:22:07] That just fascinating in itself. Like, let’s take a second to say how much of my life do I allow things like that to happen that I’m completely unaware of all day long?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:22:18] We live in a very chaotic society and technology with everybody having phones is we’re constantly distracted and we choose that. And sometimes that’s it’s a defense mechanism. It’s like, Oh, I can spend all my time and I’m busy, busy, busy, busy because it feels easier to to be a victim, to busy or to not have to. Face what you want to face. And it was funny because before today I had all these things that I wanted to get done, and instead I ended up taking advantage of an unplanned, however many hour session with with a client where we went to a level of depth that if I hadn’t have allowed it to happen, I wouldn’t be in the mind that I’m in right now. I would have done all the cleaning and all the things that I wanted to get done. Yeah, tasks. And I still want to because I’m very competitive and I like to get that stuff done. It’s part of my wiring. But I was so grateful that when I saw that opportunity because I do this study every day, I mean, this is my job is I realize very quickly, no, this this becomes the opportunity that I have to sit back and say, what’s going to come of it? And what was funny is the client sent me a text afterward saying, I saw your dream today and Dreamer is my last. I’m not a dreamer. And he was able to see it.

Sharon Cline: [00:23:42] I got chills just now.

Speaker4: [00:23:44] That’s a very.

Sharon Cline: [00:23:44] Important text you got.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:23:46] Yeah. Yeah. And and I immediately, as I do in my program, is to say thank you. But I had to be specific about what I was thanking him for, which was to actually put me in that spot that allowed the not the weakest but the least strong part of my personality to come out in a way that he could understand it. I said, Oh, can you put it into words? Because I honestly, like, I allowed myself to just go there. That kind of awareness when you give it more time. If she were to give her awareness more time than the Starbucks in her hand, it’s a different machine.

Sharon Cline: [00:24:22] Well, what did it feel like for you, Joe, to feel all of those feels?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:24:26] Oh, I thought I. I kept thinking, well, this is probably the best way to start a week of on my own while the kids are at camp is because I often the kids are my priority. I love my children and I have other things I wanted to say about them in terms of what we were talking about earlier. But maybe a better use of my time this week will be to stay in this mindset. Maybe instead, like I remember when they they went to camp last year, I was like, Oh, I can watch my own movie. What is that? I can watch my own show. And so this year I actually prepped. I was like, okay, these are the shows I’ve been wanting to watch. And today I thought, Well, maybe I don’t need the TV this week. Maybe I need to make more time to just sit and be in awareness, not with myself. Because what I notice or what we talked about in our session was I need to do my awareness with others. If I do it by myself, I can make excuses. I can let my mind wander in other ways, start preparing, task listing, you know, all that kind of stuff. Whereas I do my best thinking out loud with others. And so I happened upon it by accident. And now that I’m aware of that, I can make that a bigger priority. This week, as you and I always talk about, there’s a difference between accidental and intentional. Well.

Sharon Cline: [00:25:43] So is intentional. For some reason, this word keeps coming up this week for me, and I’ve said it a couple of different times to a couple different people, is I am trying to be very careful about how I’m spending my time because as much as my voiceover business is getting bigger and lots of opportunities are coming that make me so happy, I love doing all of those things. But then I’m also there’s a natural stress that comes with it too. So I’m trying to and I’ve never had to say no to someone where I’m like, What, you want to have dinner? Yes. What, you want to go do this? Yeah, let’s go. Let’s go ride motorcycles. It’ll be all day. But now I’ve. I’ve thought about it in a way where I’m actually going to have to say, I would love to see you, but I’m going to have to schedule it a couple of weeks out or something like that, or be more intentional with the way I’m spending my time. And I’ve never actually I mean, I probably have had to do this before, needed to do this before, but I’ve never done it before. But I see what you’re talking about is also you’re choosing your experience in the moment that you’re having it. So if next week when you realize that you’ve had enough of the feelings that you’re in now, you could choose to watch your movies if you wanted. But these are choices. They’re not reactions, right?

Speaker4: [00:26:51] Oh, she hit another hot button because reactions.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:26:55] Did you have something you needed to chime in?

Speaker4: [00:26:57] Well, so.

Kristy Johnson: [00:26:57] I was going to say actually, so I just finished reading A Mountain Is You, which is a guide to self-sabotage. It absolutely changed my my life. But you know about feeling your feelings like a lot of your feelings they talk about in the book is, you know, actually, you know, a way to cope with that, you know, as a symptom to that self sabotage. So those feelings are, you know, a reaction, a symptom of something else. And taking that time to actually, like feel those feelings and are so important, I think that we just don’t do in our society anymore.

Speaker4: [00:27:34] So I love that.

Sharon Cline: [00:27:36] That’s so. And how do you how do you see yourself doing these things to.

Kristy Johnson: [00:27:40] You know, I mean, I think you have to you know, like you were saying, being intentional and taking a like a second to to feel them and not be scared of the feelings and allow them to, you know, to actually, you know, feel it and not react.

Sharon Cline: [00:27:56] So you’re saying that you’re not judging yourself for your feelings? Yeah.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:28:00] So she needs a timeline. You need to get you a timeline for yourself, because once you start to study the past patterns and look at your life and your current reality, you will see all the things that make you want to say yes now are still exciting and they’re all important, but they all can’t be urgent. And because you’re unaccountable, one of the tools that we always say is you want to say yes. So say yes. Dot, dot, dot. As long as this is true. And so the thing is, is if they’re all too much and this is where you we practice finding your grounding so that you don’t get into this whipsaw situation where the answer is yes, as long as we can do it two weeks from now, not. But I’ll have to wait because that puts you in that negative. So, yes, as long as.

Speaker4: [00:28:52] Like yes.

Kristy Johnson: [00:28:53] And.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:28:53] Yes. And which is interesting because we’ve heard that before. But putting it into practice is a little bit harder. Harder. So I had that mentality. I think it was 2 or 3 years ago when we started to really, I guess during Covid, I got really busy and I wasn’t expecting it because everybody was at home. And you know, what we do is very personal and I didn’t think we could do it over video, but we did is I had to get to that point where people were like, Do you have space for me? And the answer was always, yes, As long as these are the hours that I can do this and do it well, if I overbooked myself, then my kids who were home and schooling at the time because of the Covid restriction, I couldn’t give my clients their full due. Just like if you say yes too much, you’re not giving the best version of you. If it’s too far out of balance. So when you say yes, as long as this is, yeah. And then we go through all of our.

Speaker4: [00:29:47] So do you do.

Sharon Cline: [00:29:48] The same thing Now you’ve learned this skill and that’s how you are interacting with people.

Kristy Johnson: [00:29:52] Yeah, I’ve actually, I’ve kind of leaned more into, you know. I think about if I say yes, what opportunity am I also giving up because of saying yes?

Sharon Cline: [00:30:05] So when you’re saying yes to something now you’re saying no to something else. Yeah.

Kristy Johnson: [00:30:09] I mean, you’re breaking any opportunity to have, you know, have something better or even, you know, maybe there’s this opportunity that’s supposed to come in, you know, into your life. And, you know, if I’m saying yes to to to kind of everything, there’s no there’s no opportunity there’s no availability for you to even know what you don’t know yet. So it’s a it’s a hard it’s a hard practice, but it’s, you know, it’s worth it.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:30:35] But one of the things that Christie and I are actually trying well, trying we are working on we haven’t figured out the best way to launch it is for people who are out or accountable who need that liberating outside force to help remind you that you matter, that you need to say yes to yourself. You’re probably going to say yes to everybody else first. We want to be or create that that community of people that will be that constant reminder that it is okay to say yes as long as it is okay to not get stuck in obligation. And it’s a shared experience for people who are outer accountable. They they have that all the time. I do. You’re not. Yeah. And that’s why I was glad to have Christy come, because I wanted Brendan’s the same. That’s why his his radio spot that day was so powerful because he spoke to it so comfortably. And that’s our goal. Like at Front Porch Advisors, our goal is to find you at your most comfortable. Not your easiest, but your most comfortable, the one that you just naturally wake up into, not the one that the world expects of you, not the one that you think the world expects of you. Or that a.

Sharon Cline: [00:31:44] Lie is this that I tell myself. Because what I believe is most comfortable is what I have always done.

Kristy Johnson: [00:31:51] The habit that I think that is. I think our brains are wired for that. We want to stay where it feels okay. We know to do so that we don’t have to to get outside of that comfort zone any. So, you know, for me, it was, you know, as soon as you go out of that comfort zone, there’s more problems. Right. And we we don’t like problems. We we try to do everything to keep status quo. And so when we start to change, it’s like this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But at the but, you know, but what does what does it bring, you know, and so the question of, you know, I just I just want to I just want to keep doing what you’re doing. Like you’re not happy doing that, though. We all know it. Like we’ve all like said, how many times like, oh, man, it was just a bad day. Was it really though? Like, are we just in the habit of complaining constantly because we it’s what we’re used to.

Sharon Cline: [00:32:46] Because the world is happening to me and I’m not I’m I’m not in control.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:32:50] Well, and for a believer, the depth is the scary part. Every one of the wires has a different, scary part. I am a strategist, which means that I am very risk averse. But that doesn’t mean I don’t take risks. I have to take risks in alignment with my strategist, which means I have to calculate just enough data and all the possible what if scenarios and then tap into my second, which is initiator. And it’s interesting because my combo, we’ve talked about combos before, my second is risk taking, so I am conflicting within that. But once I figured it out, once we went, well, I’ve been through the program how many times I do it all the time. But when I realized that it’s not the risk taking part, that’s natural to me. It’s the confidence to be bold. That is, if so, if I combine them and I gather just enough data and remember I’m confident enough, when I get enough data, then I will do it. So for the believer, the believer is.

Speaker4: [00:33:48] I’m the believer, right?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:33:49] Yes. Always excited by easily excited and able to bounce around from one thing to another. And the depth can seem so scary because it’s like, No, let’s just do this and let’s do this. Yes, this is a great idea. Everything’s a great idea. But you have to know what the trade off with that is, that eventually nothing goes below the surface and you are more than that. That’s where the caretaker comes in. Your caretaker number two has the ability to care for a very big population of people who need it. And especially now when we’re constantly being barraged with challenge. And what people need is natural care. And when you’re saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that care is the trade off because you’re not actually bringing it up. So when you learn how to combine them, you’re going to say yes, because this is my opportunity to care for you and do what I love to do because your idea is so awesome. You know.

Speaker4: [00:34:41] This show feels.

Sharon Cline: [00:34:42] Like that to me.

Speaker4: [00:34:43] Because.

Sharon Cline: [00:34:44] I believe so much in what we’re discussing. And I think one of the things that I love about having this opportunity to meet so many different people and talk about what they do and why they do is that it is just so exactly human and. I just so accept that I’m just such a human and I just make the biggest mistakes ever all the time. But we all.

Speaker4: [00:35:05] Do. And isn’t.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:35:06] It interesting that this is the one that you don’t overthink.

Speaker4: [00:35:09] This? I don’t.

Sharon Cline: [00:35:10] I don’t even.

Speaker4: [00:35:11] Prepare exactly at all.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:35:13] That’s natural energy coming out of you without having to put it on.

Kristy Johnson: [00:35:17] And I think people are drawn to that. You know, I mean, you are you are like as as a caretaker. I mean, that’s what we naturally do. So people are going to be drawn to that side of you so much easier if you’re living that authentically.

Sharon Cline: [00:35:31] So do you, Christy, find that when you are in your caretaker energy, that you what is the second what is your second?

Speaker4: [00:35:37] She’s a strategist, too. Oh, really?

Sharon Cline: [00:35:40] Strategist number two, which is interesting. Okay. So when you are authentically in your caretaker space, you find that with boundaries around it and you’re not compromising yourself, that your interactions are different or the outcomes are different.

Kristy Johnson: [00:35:54] I think they’re deeper. I think my relationships are deeper with people and and even thinking, you know, like not having, you know, having to say no, like it was because I wanted to say no. And actually, you know, I always assume that I need to to go deeper with someone like to continuously, you know, like, like I really do need to give that pot pie to them, you know, like I have to because then they won’t like me. But when I’m living my my true authenticity, you know, people are just happy that I’m around, that I’m contacting them, that I’m, I’m caring because even when I’m when they don’t even know that I am, I am I’m caring for them in some way. But it’s also, you know, they they just genuinely want to talk to me. They’ll reach out to me because we’re we’re just in that relationship and I’m I’m thriving the way I need to be. And I’m not. It’s it’s an a balance, too.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:36:50] Can I chime in, please? Oh, my gosh. Okay, So last time Brendan and I did this to you today, we’re going to do it to Christy. Oh, you and.

Speaker4: [00:36:56] Me, we.

Sharon Cline: [00:36:57] We’re looking at each other right now.

Speaker4: [00:36:58] Our eyes. Okay.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:36:59] Did you notice the difference in the way she’s sitting and the way she’s talking into her mic between the beginning and now?

Speaker4: [00:37:04] Yes, I.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:37:05] Do. And do you know why there’s a fearless formula here?

Sharon Cline: [00:37:10] What is it?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:37:11] Is the natural Sharon formula, which is you you used your believer and believing that this is such a good opportunity and then you took the vulnerability on yourself, which immediately took it off of her. And you didn’t even mean to do it. You didn’t try to do it.

Speaker4: [00:37:27] What did I do?

Sharon Cline: [00:37:28] What? What? How did I do that?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:37:29] You took over the vulnerable spot. So for her, when I said, Hey, Christy, you should come on the radio, she’s like.

Sharon Cline: [00:37:36] Yeah, no, lots of people don’t like to do this. I was like, crazy to me. But yeah, a lot of people are not comfy.

Speaker4: [00:37:41] But she.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:37:41] Knows that it’s my job to liberate her. That’s my job. So I have to not only support and believe in her, but I also have to challenge her. So she said yes, knowing that it was for some kind of bigger purpose. And as she came in, I could feel it see it on her, that natural caretaker know, you know.

Kristy Johnson: [00:37:59] That’s the bad part is as caretakers, I think everything is shown. I mean, like all of our, like, you know, our flaws in a sense. Like when we’re nervous, like all of our, our motions, you.

Sharon Cline: [00:38:08] Can look at me and see it.

Kristy Johnson: [00:38:10] It’s everywhere.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:38:11] So where you became the fearless formula today for her is that you started asking very intimate, personal questions about your own fear of that internal dialog, which immediately allows her to care for you by sharing her experience. Oh, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s where it happened. You didn’t know you were doing it, but that’s what you get on the backside. So when you can do that for yourself and realize inner dialog, that’s super self critical. Isn’t necessarily. That’s internal. And you’re not an internally driven person. You’re an externally driven person. So when you bring somebody in and say, Hey, how do you like, you might be a little bit like me. How do you deal with this? Then they immediately relax and provide care. It’s glorious. And you can study that with the people that you surround yourself with.

Kristy Johnson: [00:39:03] Like it makes you look at everybody that you you have in your life so differently.

Sharon Cline: [00:39:08] I was going to ask that exact question as well. First of all, I want to say thank you for pointing that out. Let’s just say thank you for that, pointing that out because I had no idea. So that’s interesting to me. And I wonder how often I even do that.

Speaker4: [00:39:20] Probably a lot on this show.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:39:21] Yes. I don’t know about other places, but I hope you’ll start to pay attention. Actually, I know she will. She’s going to hear us in the back of her head. Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:39:27] 2:00 in the morning.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:39:28] You know, you’ll pay attention to it while you’re doing other work because you’re going to feel the difference. Did you feel the difference when I actually brought it out to her? Like you are more comfortable?

Speaker4: [00:39:38] Yeah.

Kristy Johnson: [00:39:38] No, I am.

Speaker4: [00:39:39] Yeah, well, I.

Sharon Cline: [00:39:40] Love that actually. I appreciate just the the pointing out of a tendency that I have that I could actually be really happy about because I tend to look at the things I’m not. So thank you for being generous with me.

Speaker4: [00:39:54] But that’s part.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:39:54] Of your identity that you want your identity to be. And that’s what Kirstie was talking about earlier. You’ve got to try to figure out who do you want to be and this. Is that for you? Yes. Which is why we see it. And we’re like, oh, we love Sharon and we love going on the show. And as much as I would love to create a five page script, I don’t because it is it’s a.

Speaker4: [00:40:15] Conversation.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:40:15] To explore together. We’re being curious together.

Sharon Cline: [00:40:18] But that’s like, that’s my happy place, like an hour ago. I mean, we might be here. I don’t know. It just it goes by so fast that I don’t realize that there’s a part of my brain that is actually like having a party while we talk about these things. It’s just. It’s helping me to understand why I do what I do. And when I have a little bit more of like, peace about it, then I find that when I’m interacting with other people, I’m not quite as critical of them in my head either, which I’m not proud of. But that is.

Speaker4: [00:40:46] A huge.

Kristy Johnson: [00:40:47] Plus for.

Speaker4: [00:40:48] For you.

Sharon Cline: [00:40:49] High five each other. Yeah, they high five. That’s what that was on the radio. Well, also, I wanted to ask you when how I’m not as intentional. I think of the people I’m surrounding myself with my five. I don’t know that I’ve ever actually been like, all right, is this person going to be my challenge? Challenging person or cheerleader or whatever? So, Christie, how have you noticed that your what categories do you put your friends in and has that changed how much time you interact with other people?

Kristy Johnson: [00:41:19] Yeah, I mean, you know, like my liberators and my like my supporters, you know, there’s there is so, you know, a group of them in my life that I do, you know, I’ll go to my problems with them, you know, things like that. There’s also you know, there’s also times like in my life where I do need a challenger. I need someone who’s going to come to me and just be like, you’re completely wrong. And I don’t like to hear that. I mean, I want to, you know, but but I know that I need them. Like, every part of it is, is, you know, what I need and and even to just fully support me, you know, there’s just days we have those days where we’re just not we’re not feeling feeling life right now. And and I have those dark days and, you know, I know exactly who to go to, you know, and I just know him now. So before I was just kind of flopping around, trying to like, Hey, can you listen? Can you listen? And it’s just that’s not who they were in my life.

Kristy Johnson: [00:42:14] And so now I’m just more confident in who I who I need to surround myself with. And even if, let’s say they become they were a liberator and now they’re just, you know, a challenger because people change and, you know, things happen in their life. I now know, like, okay, I need to go back and, you know, find find another liberator in my life. Maybe there is someone there. You know, I have I have a good friend who I would have never guessed he was a liberator in my life. And after going through the practice of it and I was like, wow, Yeah, you know, he’s always been there. He’s always, you know, told me good luck and like, how can I help? And and it’s like that’s what I needed. And I just never looked at him like that. I just was like, Oh, he’s an acquaintance. But really, he was a really good friend and, you know, still is and just really helps the business. And and in my life personally. So. So you have an.

Sharon Cline: [00:43:03] Appreciation for him in a different way, a value. A value.

Kristy Johnson: [00:43:06] And I think it changes the way of, you know, you have those people in your life where you’re like, they just don’t ever listen. They just talk about themselves. But really, that’s okay. Like, that’s not what I was expecting from you. Your expectations change from them and.

Sharon Cline: [00:43:21] Then you don’t judge them for not being able to.

Kristy Johnson: [00:43:23] And you can appreciate the great things about them and what they do in your life.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:43:28] I’m handing over.

Speaker4: [00:43:29] My book to are, you.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:43:31] Know, because she’s saying so many things that I mean we study and then after after you get to that point where you know and you can kind of navigate your life you she has a list. You know, I like to make lists, but when you can go back to your list, then after that, then you can go to an even bigger step, which you and I haven’t talked about. But we’re actually talking about my kids today because I did this where my kids, their kids, they constantly challenge. Right. And as a. You think I have to do for them? I have to do for others and for for outer accountable people. I have to do for other people. What I did was I shared that vulnerability with my kids the other day in a way that everything was just extremely challenging the entire environment. And I, I have now figured out how to use this communication to not have to seek only those five people, but to be able to communicate to anyone, no matter where they are or you are in a way that they can then provide you what you need at that moment. And I allowed my kids to hear the amount of challenge I was under in a way that was appropriate for them and gave them permission to support me by telling them what support for me is. Right? So I that’s why it’s a formula for Christy. It’s going to look different. Support for her and challenge for her are going to look different for me.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:44:45] I have to know what that looks like. So I told my kids, you know, this is what I’m trying to do. Sometimes I feel like I’m not great at it. I know I’m working really hard, but I’m outside of my own element. And what I just need is for people who actually can believe in what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. And I was actually doing research on them and they said to me, they’re like, No, we really appreciate you doing all this work, which is the support that I needed. And kids don’t lie very well. And so when they gave me, I asked for support and they gave it to me. And then they actually helped me out around the house a little bit more because I let them in on it. So when you’re saying yes to all these people and you start to feel the overwhelm of the world of constant, like, yes, yes, yes, I have to. I have to. I have to, I have to is to be able to say, you know what? Yes, I want to I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now. And what I really need is somebody to help make sure that I take some time for myself. I’m not very good at that on my own. This is what it looks like for me. That’s why Christy knows that we’ve had to go through that and list out all the things that support are so you can ask for them.

Kristy Johnson: [00:45:48] And I think the huge part is and what Joe is, you know, Joe is saying is, you know, I think we have to get really good at communicating. And that’s understanding yourself first to be able to tell others because they don’t know of how to support. Because Joe support is very different than what my support is. And so, you know, the people that come into your life, if you can if you can communicate that with them, then our relationships are just going to get deeper and more. I think we’re going to be more fulfilled, you know, in a deeper aspect with our friends, with our relationships, with the.

Speaker4: [00:46:24] Way we spend.

Sharon Cline: [00:46:25] Time, right? Yeah. We’re not as resentful of the way we spend time because we’re being intentional, the way we spend it.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:46:30] And, you know, my secret motive there is I want you to continue to learn all these things because I think you will be able to see each interview you do. And I see the world through a matrix in my head because I do it so often. I see everybody is wired to be amazing at something. But like she said, you don’t always know what they’re dealing with in that moment that’s blocking that. Christie came that night to an empower. It was an empower.

Speaker4: [00:46:57] Yeah. It was an empower.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:46:58] And empower and we saw it like that. She didn’t even know it.

Kristy Johnson: [00:47:02] I didn’t have a clue.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:47:04] I didn’t. We saw it. And it’s important for us to to realize that everybody has something. That’s why we started from Porch advisors is because we believe that everybody can contribute once they understand it. And then there’s got to be value and opportunity created around it. Not everybody is wired, wired like an initiator that can go make everything happen. But here’s a caretaker who’s kind of the quietest, the lowest, the most intro negative thought. You know who is so powerful? You know.

Sharon Cline: [00:47:37] I love.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:47:38] That. And it’s art. I think it’s our responsibility as a community to help her stay in that zone.

Sharon Cline: [00:47:46] Do you feel that power when you are using a different thought process than you had before?

Kristy Johnson: [00:47:53] Oh, yeah. I mean, I think, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, you always felt like you were destined for something more. But then when when you know, you change your thought process, like it’s not like a codependency on, you know, on Lauren and Joe and David to constantly feed, you know, feed me for that power. I’ve figured out that I it’s inside. I can I can tap into it and and I’m, I’m putting myself in those positions to constantly and get that feeling of Yeah, like I’m, I’m great, you know, and people, people should come up to me and talk to me like because I’m worth it and my self worth definitely went up, you know, I mean, constantly learning this.

Speaker4: [00:48:40] Just, you.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:48:41] Know, the what we do when we’re off our game like that. Like she said I am. But none of us are that 100% of the time. It’s it’s within us. But that doesn’t mean that we know how to use it 100% of the time. So when we’re off, all the people that are front porch people, we. Those who know that they are from important people. We will laugh with each other when we’re off because we’ve all studied all of the different patterns. So much so that I can give Christy a look and she’ll be like, Oh, I know.

Kristy Johnson: [00:49:11] I have a saying. It’s WW Wwjd. What would Joe do? He’s the voice inside your head.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:49:17] But it’s the same of when I get stuck and I excuse me, I have to laugh at myself because I remember it’s human. None of us are going to be on all the time. And once you kind of become more comfortable, accept that, then you can choose accordingly. And I just say to myself, after a day like that, I’m like, Oh, that was not my day. Tomorrow will.

Speaker4: [00:49:39] Be better.

Sharon Cline: [00:49:40] Are there typical or common factors that contribute to someone being off?

Kristy Johnson: [00:49:48] Unbalance. I think if you’re going more into one of your, you know, wires. Wires and you’re not balancing those, you’re not living in kind of that boat.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:50:00] So, for example, if you for me, if I get into analysis paralysis, because I am a strategist and I love data and I love to prepare for 8000 different ways that everything can go wrong, if that’s all I am, I’m out of balance. I’m out of order. Well, in that sense, I’m just selfish in my one wire. And we are made up of all of them. There’s pieces. That’s why I said my my dreamer is five. It is part of me. It just doesn’t come out very easily. If all of them are going, of course I can tap into it. But if I’m only using one and this happens frequently with most anybody who’s feeling stuck or overstressed, it’s probably because either you’re only using your top one or you have them completely out of order. And we’re trying to be something that we’re not. And that’s another big thing that we have to watch out for.

Kristy Johnson: [00:50:50] It’s also, I think, finding also where you are in those places. So like I’m a huge strategist at work. I’m I’m in that I’m in that mentality and I have to be really mindful and like when when I, you know, have hired people, I’ve I’ve said, hey, I can become in this zone. So just kind of call me out of it. Tell me like, hey, you know, I need some caring right now. I just need you to listen to me or and I’m like, Oh, right, I’m sorry. Because I’m both and I’ve explained that. And and one of the nice things is that I can I can kind of explain that to my coworkers and the people around me, especially at work, and be like, Hey, as a team, I might, I might go into strategist, I might be in my spreadsheets or I might be in, you know, in just analysis paralysis and just call me out of that.

Sharon Cline: [00:51:40] I have a big question for you, Joe. So when Christie is telling people that she works with, um, it requires a vulnerability to be able to say, here’s where I can get tripped up. If you could please help me to get back on track or what if you are working with people who take those things that are vulnerable about you and use them against you? Because not every environment. What I feel comfortable saying, Here’s where I can get off track. I could totally see a darker energy person using that to shame me or control me or I mean, it happens in relationships all the time as well. Like personal.

Speaker4: [00:52:23] Ones. Yes.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:52:24] But you have a choice in it. You always have a choice in it. No. So the first thing that comes to my mind is when she’s doing that, she’s not doing it out of obligation. She’s not being vulnerable with her coworkers because she’s expected to or she’s being told to. She sees it as, I have nothing to lose here and everything to gain. So she’s choosing the trade off she talked about earlier of what’s the opportunity if I ask for that feedback, if I ask for you to jostle me out, it’s because I want that. And if somebody starts to take advantage, if you are not seeking that opportunity and are sort of becoming what we call reactionary, then it makes it easier for those people to prey on on the vulnerability.

Sharon Cline: [00:53:07] So if your intention is to is for loving yourself yourself, then nothing that anyone says is actually going to make you feel like they’re trying to take.

Speaker4: [00:53:15] Advantage, right? I mean.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:53:16] You’ll even see it. And then you say, Oh yeah, I don’t really have that’s not what I’m needing and that’s not what I’m looking for and I’ll go find it somewhere else. And the thing that’s so funny is it’s like kids are on my brain, I guess, when kids are in school who who who do the quote unquote, bullies always seek the people who are most vulnerable. Why? Because they hear it and believe it. And so the thing is, is if you are the one that’s in control of that saying, no, I want this kind of feedback or I’m giving you permission to do that because I benefit, well, that’s a place of strength.

Kristy Johnson: [00:53:46] Yeah, I was going to say power from it, you know, like that internal power that that I felt before.

Sharon Cline: [00:53:50] What does that say about me? That the minute she. Kristy, you were describing yourself saying this, the first thing I thought was, oh, no, there’s going to be someone that’s going to see that as a weakness and try to hurt you with it.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:54:02] That’s your inner fear. We have limiting beliefs and we have self-preservation. We have all these kinds of things. And so you just haven’t realized yet how often each time you’ve done it, each time you’ve been allowed to be vulnerable on purpose by your choosing, what that outcome, that consequence and reality that we talked about earlier, I mean, I haven’t.

Sharon Cline: [00:54:21] Cataloged it.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:54:22] But if you did, you would realize, oh my gosh, every time I do it, instead of it happening to me, I get much more benefit. And then when you sit there and wonder, Oh, what happens if they do that? Then you’re then you’re your fear is what’s dictating the choice.

Kristy Johnson: [00:54:38] And I think also for you, like for, you know, if you have that that fear, it could be just a story you’re telling yourself because you saw it in a movie one time. Like it’s just a it’s just a roadblock. And really, that’s not it at all, because most of the time everybody is good. I mean, 99% of the time. And so by you having that vulnerability, like if you if you know yourself, you’re not going to let it affect you in a.

Speaker4: [00:55:04] Way what.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:55:05] She just said, 99% are good. What would cause them not to be is often their own stress, their own overchallenged, their own burnout. And when you start to see people that way, you detach a little bit of the heaviness, the weight of what it is that they would try to take advantage of. It’s not.

Sharon Cline: [00:55:24] Even personal.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:55:25] No, it’s their it’s their issue, not yours especially. And the more you’re aware of your own, I mean, I know what most of mine I don’t know that people can take me down because I’ve given them all out.

Speaker4: [00:55:37] And.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:55:37] I’m not afraid of them and I accept them.

Kristy Johnson: [00:55:40] But it also feels good, you know, being vulnerable with people because, you know, you know in who you are, it’s just going to come back to you in a beautiful way.

Speaker4: [00:55:51] Well, I think.

Sharon Cline: [00:55:52] Too, what you’re saying is there is no manipulation.

Speaker4: [00:55:56] Now, Do you know what I mean by that?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:55:58] Yeah. We feel manipulated, which if you’re looking at the quadrant, it puts you in that over challenge. Okay. Fear and manipulation comes from too much challenge. Too much support. What do we say always is sort of entitlement and mistrust. If there’s only support, if you only hear all the good things and the frilly things and the supportive things, eventually you don’t trust them because there’s no there’s no challenge there. But when you’re feeling over challenged, you want that. So you go seek it from the people who naturally give it. But when it’s feeling like everything’s too easy, then you go seek challenge. When you have those liberators, they they have learned how to provide both. And when you seek it out, you’re telling them your own formula. This is what I need. I need a little bit of this and a little bit of this challenge, a little bit of this support. Here’s my playbook. And when you are that open and confident, then it’s really hard for them to manipulate you because you’re the one that knows it.

Speaker4: [00:56:56] Yeah.

Sharon Cline: [00:56:57] So you don’t feel vulnerable when you’re in that space of explaining what you need?

Kristy Johnson: [00:57:03] No, because, I mean, it empowers me to know that, like, if they choose not to, you know, pull me back out when you know, it’s. At least I didn’t. I told you I communicated with you. And. And to me, the only thing that you can do, I mean, in business and in your personal life, in relationships, it’s over, in a sense, almost over communicate because you’ve explained it and you know it. And at least you know what you’re wanting and what you’re needing. Now those can change. And that’s where I think the miscommunication happens, because as you grow as a person, maybe they don’t or vice versa, like, but you’re constantly growing, you’re constantly looking at yourself versus always looking at the other person and being like, You need to change. No, I need to change. And and we need to communicate better because for me, I, I know what I need. I just need to hear from you what you need so we can work together. And instead of it being one sided, it’s a partnership.

Sharon Cline: [00:57:59] Do you find that there are people who just will not do meet you.

Speaker4: [00:58:03] Will not meet?

Sharon Cline: [00:58:04] What do you do in those cases? Let’s say it’s a marriage. Okay. Are you okay going down this road? Are you okay? Because, you know, it’s like a microcosm of what other kind of relationships are. So they can be it can be applied either either way. But let’s say that there’s someone who’s married and the other person you’re asking to grow together and that other person doesn’t want to do the work. How do you navigate that?

Joe Cianciolo: [00:58:28] Well, it depends on how you have done your work because, like she said, you can’t fix somebody else. All you can do is fix yourself, become aware of yourself so well and then start to see what might be their challenge. And this is why I do it with kids and why I’m excited for Kristy for be on the Spotlight because that’s one of the meanings I think behind Beyond the Spotlight.

Speaker4: [00:58:51] It is.

Sharon Cline: [00:58:51] Oh my goodness, I never thought that.

Speaker4: [00:58:53] So.

Sharon Cline: [00:58:54] Oh, I love that.

Speaker4: [00:58:55] Oh, what.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:58:56] They’re doing is more than dance.

Speaker4: [00:58:58] And imagine dance.

Joe Cianciolo: [00:58:59] Somebody like Kristy as a caretaker raising children who are being raised to be afraid of vulnerability. No, no, no, no, no. I know what it feels like to be this. And I’m going to walk you through it because you deserve the opportunity that I have. And when you’re old, older and out into the world, you need to understand that you are more than just what the world expects of you, which is absolutely beautiful. But when it comes to the relationship, like the marriage example is, once you start to do the practice for yourself so much, then you realize, Oh, this are these are natural stress triggers or challenge triggers of the spouse. And I actually did this when I was doing this, one of these programs for the first time. I tried them all out on Dan, I didn’t tell him, but what I could see is just like I talked about with body language. And, you know, you you look for the signs. If I saw that there was too much challenge, I provided more support. If there was too much support, I had to step up and be more bold. And each time I was able to dial it in properly, everything was easier. Now, whether or not the other person is willing to be aware, I can’t. I can’t make that true. But what I can do is be so grounded in myself that they might be curious and say, You seem so sort of unaffected by the extremes. What are you doing? Well, and then I go through my whole playbook. It’s like, all right, every time I do this, I get stuck here and every time I need this, and then you start asking for the things that you need and they this is where it’s great for children. And why I’m excited for the studio is they start hearing these phrases that we use asking for support, asking for challenge in ways that it becomes very normal. We were not taught to communicate that way. We were not taught to ask for the things that we need and we.

Sharon Cline: [01:00:51] Only have the verbiage.

Speaker4: [01:00:52] For it.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:00:53] And we’re we’re making sure that all the clients that come to the front porch, all of their staffs, all the businesses, all of them have enough of that language. And then what I’m loving for her is that they get to do it with kids.

Speaker4: [01:01:05] Well, I think about what.

Sharon Cline: [01:01:06] Social media does for people, and I think that’s kind of what was my thought is when you’re making a fake Facebook post about something that’s vulnerable to you, well, within five seconds, five people will come and tear you down for it. Right? So that’s what I’m saying with children. Isn’t that what they see all the time?

Joe Cianciolo: [01:01:24] All the time.

Speaker4: [01:01:24] But no.

Kristy Johnson: [01:01:25] So I think that I think you also have to be mindful of who you’re being vulnerable with. Like what what is the format? What’s the what’s the reason behind it? Did you put that social media post up and be vulnerable to get like sympathy or sympathy or.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:01:42] Well, and the thing that’s even crazier is when taking control of that vulnerability is to be able to say, I know that’s what I need and I’m going to do it anyway. But if you set the expectation ahead of time like this post is basically so that I. Can get sympathy. Let me tell you why. Then you’re taking over what it is that your point is most people don’t don’t think about it because they have sort of what we can probably call a passive aggressive purpose behind a post. And they want to prove something or they want they’re afraid that others are going to not see their side or it’s mostly prove something like.

Kristy Johnson: [01:02:18] Our self-preservation preservation.

Speaker4: [01:02:20] She saw it.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:02:21] In the tool. And so as a result, the vulnerability, you have to understand where are you putting those words out there? And do you is it is it going to provide you what you need? Because the thing is, is like I don’t really post much anymore because I don’t need that affirmation. If Facebook and Instagram and I don’t know what you young people do.

Speaker4: [01:02:45] Tiktok Snapchat.

Sharon Cline: [01:02:46] Said you young people, that’s me and you. I’m taking it. Joe. I’m probably older than you are.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:02:51] Once they created the like button and the, you know, all that stuff, we became addicted to people’s response. It’s not response, it’s reaction. And then some people feel the need to respond, but then they create their own self preservation posts of why do I need I need to say these things to you? And then it becomes I, which is not, which is not ideal. And so instead you go seek them out personally. You seek it within the people that you spend your time with. Because at the end of the day, when you get a true response and you’ve given that dialog where you say, This is what I need and you thank them for very specific things like thank you for the guy that you talked about earlier that you didn’t even think would be a liberator when you thank them for the formula. Yeah, you know, you say thank you for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It makes them remember part of their goodness and it’s giving them directions on what they do for you. My very first client, I told him I haven’t. It’s been years and years and years ago. But recently I called him and I said, You know, you always believe in me more than anybody else and you won’t let me stop there. And then he goes on this whole diatribe of the exact formula that gets me fired up. But I’ve given him all of those tools. I’ve opened the playbook for him. And once you do that for people, they they are kind of jostled at first because they’re like, Oh, you can say that.

Speaker4: [01:04:10] Like, yeah.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:04:11] And what would happen if we had a world where more people felt.

Speaker4: [01:04:15] Well, you did that.

Sharon Cline: [01:04:15] For me by even saying today, like, you made yourself vulnerable, which gave her permission to be a caretaker, which is interesting in itself because I don’t. I know that’s a natural thing, right? For a caretaker, it works really well. But what if it were just you and me, Joe? And to for me to be vulnerable, would you have engaged your caretaker or would you have given me a strategy? Because you’re a strategist? Like, what are the different ways that people.

Speaker4: [01:04:44] Why do.

Sharon Cline: [01:04:45] You guys look at each other?

Speaker4: [01:04:46] This is what happens when there’s a secret language.

Kristy Johnson: [01:04:49] When you when you do this, you just have that.

Speaker4: [01:04:50] I’m like.

Sharon Cline: [01:04:51] My goodness, you guys just had a whole conversation in like five seconds.

Speaker4: [01:04:54] Christy, tell.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:04:55] Tell her what she just became in five nanosecond. Which wire did she just tap into?

Kristy Johnson: [01:05:02] She tapped into her caretaker.

Speaker4: [01:05:04] No, no.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:05:05] No, no, no. She strategized.

Speaker4: [01:05:09] She was asking.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:05:10] Me the hard question. That’s true. I mean, when you think about it, she. She took you out of the equation, and then she went into depth, which, remember, depth used to be the part that we said, watch out for because you don’t like it now you like it. Why? Because you want to know, is it only something that you can tap into when it’s natural for you? Yes. And the answer is no, not when you study them all. And it’s funny because I’ve had some business owner clients when I talk about strategic hiring, which we do a fair amount of, and I had an intensive client and we sat at the end of his entire 12 week journey and I told him, when you’re talking to X, Y and Z person and I went through every wire all back to back, and each sentence I said was in a different tone, a different intention, a different tapping into each one. He said, Oh my gosh, how did you do that? I said, Practice because I know that if we can find which one is their natural best, we’re going to get the best version of them in an interview. Yes. And then after that, once you see them, then you can set expectations that, you know, they can say yes to and deliver. You don’t want somebody that’s just going to say yes. You want to know what it’s going to take to keep them excited because an interview is one of the hardest places. People will say yes and yes.

Speaker4: [01:06:25] Doesn’t necessarily mean a good interview. No.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:06:28] And so we say, okay, we’ve got to practice. And so if it were just you and me, we would set the intention of what it is that we’re trying to accomplish. We would use one of the tools. We would study how that is applying to the current situation. So whatever that concern would be, I mean, Christie just got another worksheet that I think that I sent her to, to test out where we would then go through and say, okay, let’s find the formula that’s going to work for you to help you understand why this keeps happening, because you do have a choice in it.

Sharon Cline: [01:06:57] It’s. It feels so. It feels so powerful. But. But. Not in a corrupt, powerful way. I have tools that I get to use to exploit what I want. It’s not that it’s more loving. I don’t know if that’s the right word.

Kristy Johnson: [01:07:18] Is that a good word? I think it’s loving to be able to talk to people in their natural voice, you know, like for me to be able to talk to you in what you need as a believer. Like, I think that for me as a caretaker seems just amazing because, you know, I’m giving you what you need. And then now that you know that I’m a caretaker, you’re like, Oh, we can relate to each other now.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:07:40] Oh, it’s you. You can say, I always say, like, because I have to be. I mean, I have to lead by example. So I give my whole playbook out to everybody. And they said, Man, you don’t you don’t ever hide anything. I said, There’s no point. There’s no point because I believe that we all need to be so grounded in ourselves that it doesn’t mean that everything’s amazing. It just means that I’m comfortable. I’m comfortable with who I am, what I bring, and what I need. Good, bad and ugly. And if if we see that in other people, it just realizes that we’re seeking good in you.

Speaker4: [01:08:14] Yes, that’s.

Sharon Cline: [01:08:15] I guess what I mean.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:08:16] Yeah. So I love that you guys both connected with the word loving. That wouldn’t have been the word I used. Empowering because I’m a strategist initiator. It’s just different wording, but it’s the same outcome, which is to bring people to their best. Bring them up. Yes. Not put them down. Not judge. There’s no judge because we’re all good and negative at the same time. Like the thing that I said this every time we come in, the thing that makes you naturally amazing under stress and pressure can make you awful. And that’s true of every single one. There’s not one that’s immune. And once you realize none of us are immune to it, you realize the person who might take advantage of your vulnerability. Is not at their best. They’re under some kind of, you know, self-preservation or pressure or extreme stress that makes you have empathy for them. You don’t have to solve it. But once you have empathy for it, you don’t take it on as your own.

Sharon Cline: [01:09:12] It’s a natural shield.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:09:16] And instead you say, Oh man, I feel bad, but I also can’t solve it for them when they’re ready, if they want my help, if I am a good person for them to receive, then sure. But not everybody can receive the way I communicate, the way that I explain all this stuff, which is why I have Christy, why I have Brendan, why all of my clients bring that same understanding from their own set of wires, their own expectations, their own verbiage. But we all have that sort of common intent and it is glorious. It’s absolutely amazing. And we need all of them. There’s not one that is needed.

Speaker4: [01:09:56] More than the other.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:09:56] Yeah, no, there are some that are hidden more than the other caretakers make up the majority and they’re the least heard.

Speaker4: [01:10:04] Yeah. Was the most heard.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:10:06] Initiators and they make sure it’s true. They will tell you, I mean, you can’t not hear them. And then in the business world, this is the hard part is there’s a lot of wannabe initiators because we think that’s what’s expected of a business owner. And here I am sitting across the table from a caretaker business owner owner. And there’s a lot of power in that. In fact, there’s sometimes more power in that. She will struggle to be bold and go for some of the big initiatives, which is why she seeks that out in others. But pretending to be it won’t work. Oh, and the dreamers are the ones that we need the most, but they don’t speak our language. They speak in gibberish. So it’s really, really hard. And we have to be very patient with them because we wear them out with our questions. We wear them out with like these looks of like, I don’t understand what you’re saying, when at their best, what they bring is a vision that none of us can have, but it comes to them just as naturally as your belief comes and your ability to say That’s a great idea and her ability to say, Yeah, I need to give him that loaf of fresh bread or whatever.

Speaker4: [01:11:10] You mentioned chicken pot pie, pot pie. There it is.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:11:13] And mine just say, Oh, let’s make a list of all the reasons why it’s not working. Let’s come up with a budget and a spreadsheet and a timeline. You know, all of us bring that thing naturally and we need all of them. So I just sitting in the room, we have three at the top, like three different ones, and it makes for something interesting.

Kristy Johnson: [01:11:31] I think it makes also, you know, businesses in itself, if businesses understand this, like how powerful that company would be if you had all of the voices in the room and everybody got heard and, you know, believed in each other and understood that we all actually need each other, you know, because we all lack the other.

Sharon Cline: [01:11:51] Right. Because we can only be so many. Yeah. Well, instead of looking at someone who’s got another question as being annoying.

Speaker4: [01:11:58] Yeah.

Sharon Cline: [01:11:59] Oh, my God, we’re going to be here for five more minutes because they asked that one question or whatever.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:12:03] And so when I work with businesses like that, I am that guy.

Speaker4: [01:12:06] Sorry.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:12:07] And so no, but so this is why for anybody listening, I want you to hear like I have to do the practice to remind myself. I need to limit my amount of questions. My questions will be answered at some point. Do they have to all be answered right now?

Sharon Cline: [01:12:20] Right. Or is this a personal question to me that could be answered later and doesn’t apply to everybody?

Joe Cianciolo: [01:12:25] Is it strategic or is it personal? If it’s if it’s emotion based, then it’s not appropriate just because it’s going to take me down. So me at my best is strategic questions that help us get to the overarching goal. And if I’m condescending, that just takes away my credibility. So these are studying internal first. Like Christie said, I have to study me first and in business, if the whole team can do it and realize that if we help each other get through that study, then we’ll all be a lot more grounded. We’ll all be a lot more comfortable. We don’t have to walk on eggshells around people. We also don’t all have to solve each other’s problems, but we can help each other.

Speaker4: [01:13:02] Well, this.

Sharon Cline: [01:13:03] Is the last question I wanted to ask you. Given that I know I could be here all day, I’m so happy. But how does energy apply? Because when I’m talking to you three like I am, the energy is so different when you are in a place of understanding and wanting good for other people. How do you see that play in businesses? Because not every interview feels this way and that’s no problem. I’m not upset about it. I’m just saying I can actually feel it in myself.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:13:36] Do you want to know?

Speaker4: [01:13:37] Okay, so.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:13:38] We have tools for that because there are certain things that bring me energy that don’t bring others energy. When you say, okay, we only have so much time and so much budget, I’m like, Oh, let me get at it. And I can sit in front of that spreadsheet and get energized. But just like she was talking about with with the wires, if you’re only using one that’s kind of selfish and that’s not going to be you at your best. Same thing with energy. If you’re only doing these interviews and you’ll forget that they’re energizing and that’s kind of selfish. So what we do is we have a ratio. I mean, it’s kind of a common rule is like 100 business books, I’m sure. But when you understand the ratio of the ones that give you energy versus the ones that drain you, what you eventually do is intentionally go into the drain, but change the intention of what you’re doing, that action to a positive driver, or we call it gain driver, because you know, when you do that. So for me, like there are certain networking events that are kind of like, I mean, not the ones that we talk about in here, of course.

Speaker4: [01:14:38] Not that.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:14:39] Drain me. Why? Because being around a lot of people who are either trying really hard to be an initiator or trying to be interesting because they need business or whatever, that drains me. So now when I go to those, I go to them with an intention, a gain intention of finding the people that it’s natural to, not the people that are trying so hard. Because man, I could waste a lot of time there and it’ll take everything out of me. So I go look for those people and say, What is it that makes it so amazing for you? I need to work with you. I need your help here. I need you to help me in these rooms because it’s very important to my business. All businesses need some kind of networking or marketing or whatever, but I want to go find those people who it’s more energizing to than it is for me.

Speaker4: [01:15:21] Because it’s something you feel.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:15:23] Oh, yeah. And I know, I know because I’m tired afterward. If I don’t have like if I have gone. I did a study on this for myself. I don’t remember how many years ago where I would go to the networking events and I was like, I would create my one minute pitch and I was really good and I know how to be enough entertaining. I was a performer a long time ago and I would come home exhausted. I would just be tired. I’d take a nap and I was like, Why am I taking a nap? And now when I go to the networking events where my curiosity is up, not my obligation, but my curiosity of like, Oh, who in the room is also drained by it? And can I go create a personal connection with them a year or two from three and then or, Oh my gosh, this person is a natural believer and they would benefit me. I got to figure out what’s exciting for them. I got to tap into that because it will be good for them and hopefully I can learn something or gain something. And then I come home and I’m not tired.

Sharon Cline: [01:16:19] Did you do that with me consciously?

Speaker4: [01:16:23] What? Tell me more. No, you didn’t. No.

Sharon Cline: [01:16:27] I was wondering.

Speaker4: [01:16:28] If you well.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:16:29] Remember the first time we had talked about it? Your wiring was not what we thought. We thought it was.

Speaker4: [01:16:33] The other way around. I thought it.

Sharon Cline: [01:16:34] Was a caretaker.

Speaker4: [01:16:35] Yeah.

Sharon Cline: [01:16:36] Because I did the. I did the online.

Speaker4: [01:16:37] Quiz and it said.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:16:38] That. And that was just a simple one that we had done to try to at least give people an intro to it. And then when Brendan was here, we realized, No, it’s not. It’s caretaker too. And that’s when she lit up. And at that point I was like, Oh my gosh.

Sharon Cline: [01:16:51] So you didn’t come to me thinking I was a believer?

Speaker4: [01:16:54] No.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:16:55] I mean, it’s hard to assume. I mean, it’s kind of dangerous to assume.

Kristy Johnson: [01:16:59] Yeah, you can’t I mean, I was a strategist first for the longest, but I also realized that I was out of I was out of sorts. I was just so used to being a strategist.

Sharon Cline: [01:17:09] Do people do that, though? A lot Make all these assumptions about people.

Speaker4: [01:17:13] Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And that.

Sharon Cline: [01:17:14] The dangerous thing you’re saying.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:17:16] Which is why for me and for you, I want I really want you to become more comfortable with this as you work with or interview business owners. I want you to be able to see them for who they are naturally at their best, as opposed to maybe what they put on, you know, one of my first business. Well, first, I guess it’s been a while, but business owner, client caretaker first and also outer expectation needing outer accountability. And when I asked her, I said, are you okay with that? And she’s like, Yeah. I said, And that’s why everybody respects her. That’s. But most business owners are afraid of that because they see it as weakness. She saw it as reality and she didn’t have anything to prove. She wasn’t trying. So when you’re meeting people, when you see that that that edge, that fear, that nervousness, you’ve got to find ways to tap into each of them and see which one lights them up. And once you see the one that lights them up, you go down you go path. Yes, absolutely. And then all of a sudden they become a whole new person. And you hear you hear it and and it becomes exciting and infectious. And for you, you will eat that up. But for them, it will make them feel, as Chrissy said, heard.

Kristy Johnson: [01:18:21] Yes. And validated.

Sharon Cline: [01:18:23] Which I think everyone wants. That is a universal truth to be heard and validated. Know that the fact that they’re on this planet has meaning and that they’re worth time and energy and thought. And I love that.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:18:36] And what better way than to go into these things with that intention? Because not everybody’s had the opportunity for someone to seek it out in them. Most of the time we’re raised to be a certain way.

Sharon Cline: [01:18:49] Well, I do think that when you have when you’re looking for validation, it does it or if you’re or if a lot of people are like, oh, you’re so great there, there’s an ego that can get out of balance pretty easy. And I’ve always been told through various things that’s happened in my life, you do not lead with ego, with anything to be proud of. What you’ve done is actually makes you a target. So but I don’t what do you. Wait.

Speaker4: [01:19:15] You looked at each other again?

Joe Cianciolo: [01:19:17] No. It’s curious to say that because pride, you know, whatever you hear about pride in my mind, it’s just accepting the reality for what it is and the good ones and knowing why they were good and the bad ones and knowing why they were bad. Yeah. Am I proud of a lot of those things? Sure. But I am not proud in the way that I’m trying to prove that I’m amazing. I’m just proud of.

Speaker4: [01:19:41] It’s a quiet pride. Yeah.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:19:43] It’s.

Speaker4: [01:19:44] You don’t.

Kristy Johnson: [01:19:44] Need. I don’t think you need, you know, there’s. I think there’s the pride of of needing someone to validate that or trying to show off. Right? But then there’s the pride of just like, being genuinely excited for yourself and like, of an accomplishment that you’ve done, which is all internal versus needing that external. Mm.

Speaker4: [01:20:02] I love.

Sharon Cline: [01:20:03] That.

Speaker4: [01:20:04] Oh my gosh.

Sharon Cline: [01:20:04] Are you so proud? I swear to goodness, you look like the proud dad. I swear, he’s always.

Speaker4: [01:20:09] The proud dad.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:20:10] I even have a shirt from when I was a high school teacher that the kids made called Proud Papa.

Sharon Cline: [01:20:14] Oh. And I picked up on that right.

Speaker4: [01:20:16] Away, and I still have it. Do you really? Of course. You got to keep that. That’s special.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:20:20] Well, and I think. I don’t know. I feel like we all get that opportunity right now, so I love it. So I appreciate you coming.

Speaker4: [01:20:28] Thank you.

Sharon Cline: [01:20:28] I’m really so grateful that you guys came again. I didn’t plan anything, but it is the most fun hour or so that I get to experience. And I do leave energized, which tells me that this is like definitely something that I should be encouraging more in my life.

Speaker4: [01:20:42] Can I give you some feedback?

Sharon Cline: [01:20:44] Oh, gosh, Can I shut the.

Speaker4: [01:20:47] Radio down first? No, it’s good.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:20:49] You were deeper with your questioning today than you’ve been in any of my three that I’ve been on.

Sharon Cline: [01:20:56] I was deeper.

Speaker4: [01:20:57] You’re welcome. Yeah.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:20:59] No, it was great. I think that because you are. See, that’s why we say you can’t. You can’t assume that you can help somebody. They have to come to the curiosity themselves. Each time I come, you’re curiosity continues to grow. And as a result, we can do. I mean, we covered a lot of stuff.

Sharon Cline: [01:21:15] I was. Let me ask you this, though. Did I talk too much about me or did I not focus enough on Christy? Is it okay that I ask this on the radio? Good Lord.

Kristy Johnson: [01:21:23] I loved it. Like I felt very connected to be able to have like focus on you versus focusing on me. I loved it, like, because in turn, like and this is the whole the whole practice is really like, in turn, I learn something about myself, you know, just by listening to you and getting to chime in and really have this, you know, wonderful connection between all three of us.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:21:49] The after show.

Speaker4: [01:21:50] Is going to be. I know.

Sharon Cline: [01:21:51] How much time do you guys have? Well, I can’t thank Joe Cianciolo for coming enough. And Christy Johnson. Thank you. So I love how vulnerable you both are because that’s like one of my happy places to be. And so having, like you were saying, being giving permission for me to be vulnerable actually allows you to tap into some of the best parts of you that you like. And so thank you. For providing those opportunities for me. You know, it’s like we all win, which is my favorite win, win, win. Wait, How can people get in touch with you both?

Kristy Johnson: [01:22:24] Well, you can. You can find me on the Spotlight dance studio on Instagram and Facebook. And what’s.

Speaker4: [01:22:32] Your website?

Kristy Johnson: [01:22:34] Beats dance studio.com.

Sharon Cline: [01:22:37] Perfect.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:22:37] And I am Joe at front porch advisors.com that’s advisors. Long story I’ll tell you about it one day but and we don’t have a huge online presence seek out all of our clients that have come in here because you will learn what we do by watching them. They live our practice out loud and it’s the best.

Sharon Cline: [01:22:58] It’s beautiful to watch. Well, I would love to have you all back as things progress and if you have some things you would like to share, because I think all of these lessons are so valuable and provide a normalcy for conversation and phrasing that is not encouraged as a natural default in this world. So thank you for giving normalcy to just the human struggle.

Joe Cianciolo: [01:23:20] You know who we are. That’s all we got.

Sharon Cline: [01:23:24] And thank you all for listening to Fearless Formula. And again, this is Sharon Klein reminding you that with knowledge and understanding, we can all have our own fearless formula. Have a great day.