KC Sullivan with Curating Confidence

Intro: [00:00:07] Coming to you live from the Business RadioX studio in Woodstock, Georgia. This is Fearless Formula with Sharon Cline.

Sharon Cline: [00:00:17] Welcome to Fearless Formula on Business RadioX, where we talk about the ups and downs of the business world and offer words of wisdom for business success. I’m your host, Sharon Cline, and today on the show, we have the owner of a company that helps people feel comfortable in their own skin and love what they see in the mirror. Such a good message. Please welcome to the show the owner of Curating Confidence, KC Sullivan. Hello.

KC Sullivan: [00:00:41] Hello. Thank you for having me.

Sharon Cline: [00:00:43] I love that your message, it’s so good.

KC Sullivan: [00:00:47] It comes from a very deep rooted place.

Sharon Cline: [00:00:49] So that’s what this show is about. Let’s talk about how you got to where you are right now. I was just doing a little stalking on you, you know, like your your history. And I saw that you are from Texas. How did you get here?

Speaker3: [00:01:03] A boy.

KC Sullivan: [00:01:05] I wish it was a better story.

Sharon Cline: [00:01:07] Just threw a dart on the map and left.

KC Sullivan: [00:01:09] No, No. So I’ve been lots of places in between Texas and here. But essentially I was in a long distance relationship and he was here and I thought, well, I’m getting older and we’re either going to make this work or we’re not. So we should probably be in the same city. So here I am.

Sharon Cline: [00:01:27] He actually lived in Woodstock. Yeah. Oh, wow. That’s great. Because, look, now you’re here. And now I’m here. Established almost five years later. Well, we have met at a networking meeting that we have here in Woodstock called YPO, which is so fun because they ask personal question once a week, and it’s nice to get to know someone on a personal level, not just business, but it really led me to realize how much of a really fascinating backstory you have to get you where you are right now.

KC Sullivan: [00:01:57] Yeah, yeah.

Sharon Cline: [00:01:59] So let’s talk a little bit about well, first of all, you your company curating conference. It’s all about helping people to get out of their heads of what they think they look like and sort of really embrace who they are, where they are, and how much that can help the outside part can help your inside.

KC Sullivan: [00:02:17] Right? So essentially my goal is to help people say heck yes to themselves, right? So many of us hold ourselves back from our goals because we have limiting beliefs. We have fear around lots of things. It varies from person to person, but at the end of the day, it boils down to confidence. And I talk about a lot. What I really believe confidence to be is the willingness to try. And if you are willing to try, in the face of adversity and fear, that’s how you get to accomplish the thing. But you first have to have that confidence to go and do it. And so many of us sit in. You know, unworthiness and shame and disappointment and lack because we have been. Raised, taught, trained, whatever you want to call it, to believe that we don’t fit inside of this certain box in our culture, therefore we are not good enough. And I lived that message very personally, and I hated it when I realized how it destroyed me. I let it destroy me. And then when I started looking around and seeing how many other people were affected by it also I thought. Well, I’m going to do something about this. This is not okay. And people deserve to feel good about themselves. And so clothing, because of my background in fashion, is a tool I use to help people project that confidence. But really the confidence comes from the inside. And then the clothing piece is just the tool I get to help them put it out there in the world.

Sharon Cline: [00:03:46] So your history in fashion, you went you were in modeling, you went to fashion design school, you styled specialty runway shows for events like the Oscars. Oh, that’s huge. Big working for you. Worked freelance wardrobe on sets for the Disney Channel. Like I got this off your website. I’m like, Holy cow, I haven’t even appreciated these things about you. So it’s kind of nice to do a little bit of digging. But like you’ve done visual merchandizing at Versace, you’ve got quite a resume.

KC Sullivan: [00:04:14] I have lived a little.

Sharon Cline: [00:04:17] But so you were able to use those things that you learned. As far as I can imagine, if you’re trying to put a wardrobe together for a character that character has an image that you’re projecting, right? So you get to think about it visually. What does this person need to look like in order to project that image? So then you translate that to like real everyday, so real.

KC Sullivan: [00:04:38] Everyday people, the cool thing. So I call it a character analysis. When you get a script for a show or a film or whatever and you do a read through and you’re kind of coming up with, you know, you’re reading about this character and you’re reading about their what’s going on and the film with them, and you’re really sitting there taking notes and you’re saying, okay, so from a clothing perspective, because that being my tool, how do I project this characteristic, this personality in clothes, in objects, right? So it translates on camera for people to really have the full effect. That’s why costuming is so important because it ties the story together with the authenticity of the character. What’s the same thing in our lives if we are not intentionally, authentically showing up as ourselves? Who are we to the rest of the world, Right. Who are we projecting to be in? So many people? Don’t put the intentionality behind it because we’re not taught to. So I say all the time, you’re a walking billboard for yourself. What is the message you’re putting out there? And most of us don’t have a clue because we haven’t been taught to think about it. So it’s being able to teach people to utilize that tool and putting out the message that they actually want to share with the world.

Sharon Cline: [00:05:50] So how much does social media impact? That’s the first thing I’m thinking of, is how tough that is to compare yourself constantly to other people. But not just that, but the celebrities that promote their image constantly. And if you don’t fit into a mold or I don’t even know exactly like an energy that they have, well, what’s your energy? Is that valuable in itself? So I can see how it would play with your head.

KC Sullivan: [00:06:16] Oh, so much so. And I think that’s why I leaned so heavily into the confidence piece being internal external is going to come and go. It changes with time. We can’t control it. You know my own story, you know, post modeling, as I was working in the film TV sector on doing styling, I had some major health issues. I put on 100 pounds in nine months. And when that happened, I went into full on self-hatred mode because I had unknowingly tied my entire self-worth to what I saw in the mirror. And when I no longer had control of that, I thought I was I didn’t think I was worth anything. I didn’t think that I deserved my job. I didn’t think I deserved my friends. I self sabotaged relationships because I literally was out of control of my physical body and therefore I thought I had nothing to offer. And so when I start working with individuals, the first thing I want them to do is start grounding themselves and confidence in things that are authentic and true to them. What are their values? Who are they at the core? And when your self confidence is founded in that, it doesn’t matter what the external has going around you because you are grounded in the confidence internally. And then I just get to help you go and again utilize your clothes as a tool to put it out there in the world in the best way possible.

Sharon Cline: [00:07:37] That’s amazing. It’s interesting to me to think how much what we believe everyone sees on the outside is the value of a human. Yes. And how much if you don’t like what that looks like or are struggling with something, that it it affects everything on the inside. It’s really amazing. The mental gymnastics you play.

KC Sullivan: [00:07:58] Oh, man, such a great term. Mental gymnastics. I like it. But it is it’s such a trickle down effect because like it or not, we are an image based culture. You know, what kind of car do I drive? What kind of job title do I have? What kind of da da da da da. And so we are taught to think that is the most important thing when in reality it’s it’s smoke and mirrors.

Sharon Cline: [00:08:20] Because anyone can look super nice. Yeah. Especially with filters.

KC Sullivan: [00:08:23] It filters don’t even get me started on filters. They make me so angry. I know.

Sharon Cline: [00:08:28] I saw one recently. I was like, Oh my gosh, What? How would I possibly look this like this? You know, like, I wonder if these people, anyone brings their phone or whatever to a doctor’s office and like, can you make me look like this filter makes me look.

KC Sullivan: [00:08:41] Oh, when when I was modeling this was in the early 2000. So this was like at the height of we want you to be an adult but look like a 12 year old. Jeez. So like, thin, thin, thin, everything thin. And I was with a girl backstage and she was looking at me and she was looking in the mirror and she was just poking at her hips and pushing on and pushing on. And she was so anorexic already and she was just literally starving herself. And she goes, Do you think I could shave my hips down because there was no more weight for her to lose. She was bone on bone, and yet she still wasn’t booking work because her hips were broader than the ideal at the time on runways. And when you’re asking questions like, Do you think I can shave my bones down? I’m like, Oh, we have a problem, major problem. And it was it was so crushing to think that that’s what she thought of herself like that was her worth.

Sharon Cline: [00:09:39] How did you climb out of the dark place you were in?

KC Sullivan: [00:09:48] I threw myself into other things first. I didn’t even recognize the dark place I was in. And when I finally realized that some of my medical stuff needed a little extra help and I had two amazing, very supportive parents that were like, Hey, let’s get your health back on track. And then you can go like. Take over your career again. So I moved back to Texas to do treatments for some of that stuff and. Because I was in rural Texas and there wasn’t a lot of fashion work happening. I went back to school for rehabilitation services under the thought that I was going to then go design clothes for people with disabilities. And so a lot of that studying was the mental piece. So you have the physical therapist and the occupational therapists that work with people in trauma situations to deal with the physical. But there wasn’t anybody bridging the gap on the mental piece outside of counseling, which that’s great and amazing. And we need all of that stuff, right? But there was like the rehabilitation services was really focused on that mental side, that shift and how do I help people bridge that gap of of those two things. And so I really, through going to school to study something else, I started recognizing a lot of these gaps in myself and being like, Oh, that’s what that is. And really having to start doing that self work. Part of that was going to counseling. Part of that was just really slowing down and reading tons. I’ve read so many books. I’ve gone through so many personal development programs because I needed to for me, and now I get to do it and take all that stuff I’ve learned and grown through and get to help other people with it. So it turned out to be kind of a blessing in disguise.

Sharon Cline: [00:11:42] You’ve always been artistic. I was reading about you and creative, and so you use a lot of that creativity, correct, in helping clients?

KC Sullivan: [00:11:51] Yes. So I think this is kind of where I ended up in this business that I have now is I love working with people. People I that’s my heart. I love developing relationships and building relationships with people. I have never had a friend that I don’t try to stay in touch with forever. It makes traveling a little difficult because I feel like I have 3000 million places I need to be now to keep up with everybody. But it’s a gift to to be able to say that. So people have always kind of been my heart, but also the creativity side. So the fashion always gave me the creativity, but it didn’t always get to help the people with the fashion. And when I went into the nonprofit work, I got to help the people, but I had no creative outlet. And so both places I was like kind of what I call half happy, like like half full on the cup. And so this what I do now is kind of a hybrid of where I get to help people in a very creative space. And that just brings me so much joy.

Sharon Cline: [00:12:50] Well, it’s funny. It’s like you talk about joy. That’s like one of the highlights that I think really makes you realize you’re in the right industry When you’ve got something that you do that just fills your heart and your soul and helps people. It’s like just such a wonderful feeling that I think joy is like an indicator, like where you can make your true north so you’re in the right place.

KC Sullivan: [00:13:11] It sounds like I feel like I’m in the right place, so I’m going to go with it.

Sharon Cline: [00:13:15] Who’s your ideal client?

KC Sullivan: [00:13:17] That’s a great question. So I would say anybody in a big transition is and that’s pretty vague. So trying to narrow it down here. We all go through things in life that kind of like knock the wind out of our sails, but we’re really good at what we do. And so maybe it’s a divorce, maybe it’s a health issue. Like I had massive weight gain, bariatric surgery where they’re shifting and they’re not sure how to double mastectomies going through things like that. Those are all clients I’ve had and worked with people coming out of the military or the police force. They are tied to their identity around a uniform and they’re trying to figure out how to move to the next step. People that are fresh out of like med school, law school, and they’re like trying to figure out how to step into their new space or they’ve gotten a promotion in a space. I work a lot with women in male dominated industries because they’re really good at what they do, but they’re still like this imposter syndrome. And so tech finance, engineering, chemistry, like they’re boss women, but they’re still like struggling with just to like, own their space really. Well, as a woman in a, you know, 80, 90% filled room of men. And so it’s like helping people again, say, heck yes about themselves and in really own what they’re great at and helping them package it in the best way possible.

Sharon Cline: [00:14:43] So that’s amazing. You help so many different people. I didn’t actually think that so diverse.

KC Sullivan: [00:14:49] Yeah, and that’s why like when I say it’s vague when I say people in big transitions, but that’s the best common denominator I have found.

Sharon Cline: [00:14:57] So how much is how I’m all right. So if someone is incongruent, right, so they’re not living in alignment with who they are. The outside isn’t matching the inside. There is a toll. There’s a stress. So how do you what’s the step that you go through to help someone figure out the way the image that they want to project? I know you were saying you kind of talked to them about what’s important to them, their values, but what else do you ask them?

KC Sullivan: [00:15:23] So really it it starts way more facilitating conversations. And sometimes I have assessments I run my clients through from the beginning. I need to know all their baselines. I have a confidence assessment that I have designed to walk them through. I have a motivators thing, I have a self sabotaging thing. I walk them because it helps me to understand, to truly help people build the best self confidence. And then like all those baselines really matter because I can’t I call it labeling. I can’t help solve a problem we don’t know exists. So so the more information I can get, the more conversations I can have. A lot of it is truly digging in conversation and the clothing piece falls into place. So naturally after that, there’s a piece in there where I help them develop out a mood board where we do things like that, and that helps us really translate all of those internal pieces into physical, external things. And then we get to go and talk about their body shape and all the things that make them so uniquely beautiful and tie it all up in a big bow with a fabulous outfit.

Sharon Cline: [00:16:33] So what are the main factors that do influence our images of ourselves? I know I said social media, but what else?

KC Sullivan: [00:16:41] Oh, the list is endless. I mean, you talk about we tend to women particularly, but I see men do this too. We. Carry everything we’ve ever heard about ourselves in like a pocket on the inside of our shirt. And then when the time is right, it, like, rears its little ugly head. So, for instance, I’ve had people that were bullied on the playground in elementary school that thought they had a boy head because somebody told them they had a boy head and they now 50 years later are making hair choices subconsciously because they think they have a boy head and it’s not serving them. You know, your family, sometimes they jest and they poke fun and they’re not really trying to be ugly or mean, but in your head you internalize it like another client. She was just had so much stress around her stomach because when her mom would take her school shopping, she would always poke her little belly and be like, Oh, look at that little belly. It’s starting to poke out. And she’d poke it. And she was so self conscious because of these weird, like, little things that we do as humans. Not to be mean just out of like. Uh, you know, being, not thinking, just not thinking, really. And so there are so many factors and some of those are like little ones, but there are extreme ones, like people that have gone through true traumas, and those labels get carried on. So it could be. Anything like there is no short list here.

Sharon Cline: [00:18:09] That’s amazing, actually. And it’s it’s so slightly shameful as a parent because I know that I love my kids, but I have no idea the kinds of things that I would have said potentially that they live with.

KC Sullivan: [00:18:21] Well, and the thing is, and I don’t say this to make parents feel bad or I just.

Sharon Cline: [00:18:25] Naturally feel bad, So I’m with the parent.

KC Sullivan: [00:18:28] Shame.

Sharon Cline: [00:18:29] Oh, I live in parent shame. Go ahead.

KC Sullivan: [00:18:31] But like even as an aunt, right. So the thing is, is none of us are able to get through life without these things. It is a part of human nature. And it’s like, how do we how do we move forward with it? And so when people when those things really become a limiting factor, not everybody. It is that big of a limiting factor. Some people really do over time, have developed their own coping mechanisms, all the things that’s great and wonderful. But then there’s the handful of us that just need that extra hand up, you know, getting through some of that stuff and like personal example, when I was little, I had a kid that teased me about having blue eyes because I have a, you know, a more olive skin tone and my hair is really dark. And they just thought it was absolutely insane that I would have really light colored eyes. And I was like, I was like 6 or 7. I was in first grade and I was just distraught that this was not the norm. And I hated my eyes. I hated them. And so when I got to driver’s ed and I couldn’t pass the driver’s ed eye exam and I had to go to the eye doctor.

KC Sullivan: [00:19:38] And so I get fit for contacts. And I begged my mom to let me get colored contacts. And so she was like, Do they cost more eye doctor? Yeah. And the doctor was like, Yeah. And she’s like, Nope, you’re fine. And he was like, Can I ask you why you want colored contacts? And I was like, Because I hate my eye color. I just want brown eyes. And he’s like, Do you know, do you know most people are paying for your eye color, right? And I just looked at him like he was crazy. And it wasn’t until years later when I started realizing that my coloring was what booked me work as a model. Oh, wow. I was like, oh, like, this is this is a thing, apparently. And I hated it. Like, it was something I carried around as a label of shame because it was not the norm. And so it’s like there’s no limit to what could cause pain for people.

Sharon Cline: [00:20:22] Interesting, because not the norm. It’s it’s like we all want to fit in someplace, right? It’s it’s inherent to being a human is to be part of a community. Right? So you can survive. So anything that you’re doing that makes you a bit of an outlier feels very risky and scary. But I love that you reframe all of it to be something that’s special about someone and makes them unique in a beautiful way, not vulnerable.

KC Sullivan: [00:20:48] Right. Well, and I think if we really boil it down to its core, there isn’t anything that’s normal. You know, we just we just know what’s in our bubble. Right. And part of one of the things I do is walking people through self image. And one of the major components of self image is the sense of being accepted by your community. That is one of the biggest components of how your self image is developed and that is what affects how we feel about our weight, our ethnicity, our sexuality, our income, our title, because we want to be accepted by our community. And if we feel like we’re not, that’s when we start putting all these labels of shame on ourselves or not good enough or whatever it is. So if I can help you start grounding that self image in like the truths of that person that make them special and unique, their body is the least interesting thing about them.

Sharon Cline: [00:21:42] Which is the main thing that they’re thinking about.

KC Sullivan: [00:21:45] Exactly. It’s what we all think about. Yeah. It’s like, Oh my gosh, there’s so many cool things about you. Let me show you.

Sharon Cline: [00:21:52] And how interesting it is that if they start to feel good about themselves, like it exponentially affects lots of parts, not just the way they dress and move through the world, but all the relationships. And I’m sure you know much more than I do know.

KC Sullivan: [00:22:03] But you’re absolutely right. You hit the nail on the head. You know, all those things affect how we show up in our relationships, at our job and our families with our, you know, our community around us. All of that capabilities. Right. Everything. And again, going back to what my definition of confidence is, if you’re willing to try something or not, your achievements, you know, if you just get it, you can’t achieve anything new unless you’re willing to try something new. And to know that, you know, failure is only failure if you stop. We are expected to screw up. We’re never going to do anything right the first time, or very few people will. I sure as heck don’t.

Sharon Cline: [00:22:39] But that’s part of the reason I do this show. Fearless formula is because fear does stop people from making a lot of choices. And so talking to business owners who have gone through your trials and tribulations but have a business and are thriving, how it’s like, I would love for you to be able to give some words of wisdom to the people who would listen, who maybe are concerned about their own capabilities and maybe doubt what they can do. So are there things that you’re no longer afraid of now that you are are where you are with your business and have such a great resume and you have been successful in like different areas that are almost enviable, you know, it’s like, wow, look what you’ve done. Well.

KC Sullivan: [00:23:23] Thank you. That’s kind. I look at them and I think, Oh, look at all those places I messed up. You know what I mean? Like, fascinating to me.

Sharon Cline: [00:23:29] I’m like, You’re the coolest person.

KC Sullivan: [00:23:31] No, no. Just because I experienced some of those things didn’t mean I was good at all of them all the time. Right? Like, within those experiences, I had lots of mess ups. And so if there’s anything I’m not fearful of anymore, it’s just to get up and try again, whatever it is. I will say, because I am determined that I am going to keep going and I can’t keep going unless I’m willing to get up again. And that is the only absolute I have in my life.

Sharon Cline: [00:24:01] Did you always have like a resilience to you this way?

KC Sullivan: [00:24:05] Um, I think if if I was lacking in resilience, I had a community of people that were willing to lend me theirs in the interim. And I think that’s the one thing I can tell people we are not. All impermeable, right? Like life hits you sometimes. And, you know, we all get hit by different things. And sometimes you just need somebody that can lend you their resilience, their motivation, their their belief in you while you’re trying to rebuild your own. And so I think one of the biggest gifts I can say I’ve ever had is I have had amazing people in my life and all of these different journeys that have been able to lend me theirs when I was struggling with mine.

Sharon Cline: [00:24:50] That’s a gift in itself, isn’t it? Oh, my.

KC Sullivan: [00:24:52] Gosh, yes.

Sharon Cline: [00:24:53] Because surrounding your that’s a theme that I find is that people that surround themselves with support, whether it’s a business partner that is good at something that they’re not, you know, strategically putting people in your life that help your business succeed, but just having someone to give you a perspective that you don’t have naturally, how important that is so that you can see because, you know, we’re all supposed to help each other. I think while we’re here on this planet. So it’s sort of like imagining yourself on an island by yourself. You only have your own brain to go by. So if someone else can give you like a different perspective, it’s powerful.

KC Sullivan: [00:25:29] Yes, 100%. And so I can say that I have been blessed to over and over and over again. And that’s why I hope so much with this business. I get to give it back to others. You know, we are blessed so we can then bless others. That’s the way I’ve always tried to look at it. That’s what I was raised to believe. I can’t say in my more selfish moments. I have always been good at it.

Sharon Cline: [00:25:52] But did you come up with like a curriculum basically on your own? How did you do it?

KC Sullivan: [00:25:56] Yeah. So I think a lot of it was just experience when, you know, all the jobs I’ve held, all the. So one of my defaults is when I felt lost or confused or I didn’t know what to do next. I went to school because it was my safety net, right? Oh, I don’t have to know what I’m doing in life. If I’m in school, I can just like flounder around and it’s okay. It’s like.

Sharon Cline: [00:26:19] Yeah, I get that.

KC Sullivan: [00:26:20] So it took me a while to recognize I’ve paid for a heck of a lot of school I probably didn’t need. But so through through all of the education, through I’ve had so many jobs, like that list is very incomplete.

Sharon Cline: [00:26:33] So I’m thinking as you’re talking, I’m like, Well, I look at it as fabulous and you’re like, Yeah, but how much do I do that? I project some fabulous belief about somebody’s history and think it was amazing. Whereas you have the backstory of, Well, it was really difficult, but I paint it as positive and wonderful, and then I compare my life to it, right? Like, I’m like, I’m not as amazing. And that is.

KC Sullivan: [00:26:54] And that’s the saddest thing about comparison with people I find is and I’m guilty of it myself and I, but I’ve gotten better at catching myself in the moment, right, is if you are truly grounded in yourself, in all the core things that make you you, it means comparison doesn’t have the window of opportunity to check you out of the game, right? So if you’re confident in yourself, you don’t walk in a room, immediately start saying, Oh, her dress is better. Oh, she’s got long hair, my hair is short. Oh, she’s got you know what I mean? Like, because you’re just you and you feel good about it. And now you can move forward and do the things. And it’s not an easy place to be. And I still have my days where I have to check myself. I’m like, Oh, I wake up and I’m like, But it’s it’s having the tools and the skill set to pull myself out much quicker and to just get back in the game, right?

Sharon Cline: [00:27:43] So I sometimes in low moments compare myself voice artist wise to other voice actors and like I will go on websites and just be like, Wow, their website looks amazing. And then I hear them and I’m like, Why am I in this industry? Like, why would anyone hire me if they could hire her? You know what I mean? In my mind. And so I did hear that phrase, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. So I purposely can’t let myself go down that road. I mean, there are times where I’m like, how is it out there? Because it can be a very isolating industry. You’re in your own booth or whatever. So but I do see that it takes me a bit to get back out to where I feel like I actually do have the skill set to be able to be successful. It’s amazing how much that can affect my my self esteem. Oh my goodness.

KC Sullivan: [00:28:30] Well, if it makes you feel any better, the minute like your intro started playing, I was like, Oh, I have to sound like Minnie Mouse next to that. Like, I.

Sharon Cline: [00:28:37] Sound like Minnie. You’re so funny.

KC Sullivan: [00:28:39] What? No.

Sharon Cline: [00:28:41] That is not what I thought. I thought. Yeah. I can’t wait to talk to you some more.

KC Sullivan: [00:28:45] So I was like, immediately I heard your voice on the radio, and I was like, Oh, let me sink into my chair a little bit. Like.

Sharon Cline: [00:28:51] Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious because, well, this is fascinating. That’s funny. Well, interesting because I look at other people and think the same thing. So is this just a universal truth that we all just do this all the time and, you know, it can affect us in exponential ways. Like, I think about the fact that, as I was telling you, when I ride my motorcycle, sometimes I feel very self conscious and like my all eyes are on me. But we were just saying how that’s not true. Like people aren’t really looking at me. Even when I’m walking down the street, in my mind I’m like, Oh no, they’re looking. I don’t even know who, but I’m actually thinking about myself and they are most likely to.

KC Sullivan: [00:29:26] And that’s so funny because we all do that. We are all seeking that validation, right? And we’re all just like so worried that they’re everyone around us is thinking all these horrible, crazy thoughts. And in reality they’re all thinking their own crazy, horrible thoughts about themselves. They don’t have the time to think about yours. Like, so.

Sharon Cline: [00:29:43] Sad.

Speaker3: [00:29:45] You know?

Sharon Cline: [00:29:47] Oh, that’s hilarious.

KC Sullivan: [00:29:48] There’s a there’s somebody else in the beauty industry that’s much larger of a name than I am. Hilary Rushford. She talks about this thing she calls the 150% mirror. And she it’s that thing that you dislike about yourself that you see it so much more enlarged than it actually is. And in reality, most people see it at like 25% and you’re seeing it at 150%. And then and, you know, in the middle somewhere is the reality of it. So it’s being able to like keep that perspective of. You know what? She’s got her own problems and she’s thinking about those. She is not worried about my extra arm flab, like rock the sleeve of a shirt. Like I don’t, you know.

Sharon Cline: [00:30:33] So do you have a favorite client experience, like something that stands out as just super special, or are they all special?

KC Sullivan: [00:30:41] I have had so many amazing client experiences. It’s such a gift, honestly, because it’s such a space of vulnerability when people will sit and open up like, I can’t tell you the number of closet floors I have sat on and just held people while they cried. And it’s a release for them and they need it to be able to move on. And so being able to offer that just feels like a blessing in itself that I get to say that that’s my job.

Speaker3: [00:31:08] Goodness, I agree.

KC Sullivan: [00:31:10] But I will say, here’s here’s how this business really came to be. It was not because I had this great idea one day epiphany. It wasn’t that I was working in the nonprofit sector and was just doing fashion work on the side because, again, I was in rural Texas. There wasn’t a lot of it around, so I would just do it on the side when I had the opportunities. And then I was working my real job, so or my pay the bill job. And I had a friend that was like, Hey, my friend needs your help with finding a dress. And I was like, I mean, why? Because to me, I’m like, shopping is so easy. Why? Like, just send her to a couple of stores? I don’t know. She goes, No, she’s willing to pay you. And I’m like, Really? Like, I couldn’t even wrap my mind around that in the moment. But anyways, I agreed to meet this woman and we went to the store and she needed a dress for a special event. And I’ve mentioned this story multiple times. If you’ve not, you particularly, but if anybody’s heard much of my content. She needed a dress for a special event and she had had a double mastectomy and she was dealing with the mental trauma of feeling less than because she’d lost her womanhood or her womanhood was different.

KC Sullivan: [00:32:25] And I don’t know how often you try on formals, but they don’t cover a whole lot. Often, particularly in the Decollete area and things like that. And so she was just. She didn’t want to represent her husband that way. Like she was so worried that she was going to be judged and her husband therefore was going to be judged because she wasn’t beautiful enough. And I thought, this is the saddest thing ever. But I also knew that pain. I could relate. My story was different, but I knew that pain. And so I was like, Girl, we got this. And within a couple of hours we had her dress, we had her shoes, we had all these things, and we did like a once over. We put it all together on in the dressing room. We did a once over in the mirror and she turned around and just like tears and I was like, Oh crap, That was not the goal. I have failed and.

Speaker3: [00:33:10] I’m going to go.

KC Sullivan: [00:33:12] And she goes, No. She’s like, Thank you. I didn’t know I could feel this beautiful again. And I was.

Speaker3: [00:33:16] Like, Oh, no, okay. I was like.

KC Sullivan: [00:33:19] And I think it was that moment that I really realized, Girl, get over yourself. So many other people. Like, because it was I was really still in that moment dealing with my own, like crawling out of my own hole. And it was the first time I stopped and could look around and say, Get over yourself, woe is you. So many other people are struggling and you have the tools to help them.

Speaker3: [00:33:43] And that was unique to you?

Sharon Cline: [00:33:45] It’s unique to you because I don’t have those skills at all. So like, I couldn’t imagine trying to go find something that especially if I felt like there’s I’m in a I’m in a negative space of even being able to get to where I would want to feel even remotely beautiful. I can’t I can’t get there at all because of a physical problem, so I wouldn’t know where to go. I wouldn’t want to do it, you know?

Speaker3: [00:34:05] Right. And I think.

KC Sullivan: [00:34:06] That’s the unfortunate thing, is so many, particularly women, we just think we automatically should know how to dress. We should automatically because we’re women, we should be able to do it. But it’s like anything else, it’s a skill. And if you haven’t been taught to utilize it or to do that, why should you know? But we think we should and therefore we like don’t. We don’t try to get ourselves the education, the tools to to get better at it. And I mean, this is something I’ve done for 17 years. I have degrees in I have trained in this on multiple levels and multiple different facets of the industry. Yeah, like I have a different skill set in it than you, and I’m happy to share that with you. And that’s what the recognition comes in is like, it’s like anything else. If you haven’t been taught to do it, why do you feel like you should know how to do it?

Speaker3: [00:34:52] There’s no so.

Sharon Cline: [00:34:53] True, and I love that you talked about expecting perfection, like no one will do anything perfectly, but how much that belief can limit. I mean, a million things I do, you know, I don’t. Oh, yeah. I don’t like failing, especially when I’m trying really hard with every bit of information I have to get something to work and it doesn’t work. It’s the ultimate in frustration for me. It’s like I take it so personally, like it’s because of me, you know, something I don’t know and can’t do and oh yeah, it’s the worst feeling.

Speaker3: [00:35:21] Well, it’s like.

KC Sullivan: [00:35:22] You said, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. Well, perfectionism is the thief of achievement, because in reality, we will never be perfect. You just need to aim for progress, you know? And that’s. And. That’s where I think the shift has to happen is when you can say, I’m just going to keep practicing in this and I’m going to make progress, and that’s great.

Sharon Cline: [00:35:43] Where where does the belief of the perfectionism come from?

KC Sullivan: [00:35:47] You know, I don’t know if I know the root of perfectionism in and I’m sure we all kind of have our own stories behind it.

Speaker3: [00:35:55] You know, and it’s.

Sharon Cline: [00:35:56] Subjective to.

Speaker3: [00:35:57] Whatever. So much so.

KC Sullivan: [00:35:58] Like, I am a recovering people pleaser. So like, mine came around wanting to please everybody, right? Like, oh, it’s like I have to please this person. And then it was like, But this person is going to be happy and happy if I do that. And so therefore I have to shift, but then they’re going to be happy. And then I would never do anything because I was so worried I was going to please other people. And I’m like, Well, I can’t achieve anything if I’m sitting here terrified that this isn’t going to be perfect enough for them. And then the only people suffering is me. Like they’re over here clueless that I’m even over here, like drowning in my own insecurities.

Sharon Cline: [00:36:36] The only thing I’m perfect at is knowing how to struggle on the planet or like, you know, question myself. Like, I’m an expert.

Speaker3: [00:36:43] So good at it.

Sharon Cline: [00:36:44] That’s funny. Well, I mean, I love that you reframe how people look at themselves and it’s clearly it’s effective. It really works and helps people to look at life as a positive as opposed to a struggle.

KC Sullivan: [00:36:56] Yeah. And again, I don’t think it’s it’s always the easiest thing to do, but it is so powerful, if you will step into it and try. And that’s the shift that I want so much to get across. There’s so much stigma in my industry on both sides. So from the style side, it’s like, oh, you know, only rich people get stylists. Oh, she’s going to make me wear and buy a bunch of expensive clothes I don’t care about. And, you know, and I’m like, no, like, I don’t care about those things unless you want those things for you. My job is to help you show up authentically as yourself in the best way possible. But, you know, again, there’s stigmas of everything from the consulting side of my business where I really, you know, help people develop self confidence and put in strategies in place to do that. As a coach, the stigma is, well, I want the easy button. That’s hard work, you know? And so it’s like finding that person that’s in the right spot that they’re ready to do the work and grow because it is hard work and it doesn’t happen overnight. There’s no magic button for it and we’re all still waiting like and there’s so much misconception that if we have this one thing change, we will magically like ourselves better. Often it’s wait for people in my like I see the most is people want to lose weight first. Stop waiting until because now you’re just waiting until X, y, z happens. And when it happens, I guarantee you you’ll find some other reason not to like yourself, because that was actually never the problem, you know? Or it’s waiting till I achieve a promotion or a title or whatever, whatever, whatever. So it’s the shift in getting people to like themselves first, and then those things come into place next.

Speaker3: [00:38:40] Because.

KC Sullivan: [00:38:41] It’s like I go back to the weight one because it’s the most common one I see. If you are truly trying to lose weight from a health perspective, that’s great. Go be healthy. I want that for you. But health and beauty get meshed into one, and most of the time people are trying to lose weight for the like themselves side versus the I need to be healthy side. And so if I can help people like themselves first, then they’re motivated to go make themselves healthy because they think they’re worth it. Now they’re not fighting against themselves to do something they hate. It just makes those achievements so much easier. But we’re all so mentally in our own way, and I’m just as guilty of it.

Sharon Cline: [00:39:24] So you help people get out of their own way? Yeah, that’s the goal. I never really put that together in my head. How much health and beauty are overlapped and enmeshed and they’re very different things, and they’re subjective too. Like, well, health is health, but like beauty is subjective. So I can see how if you are trying to become a healthy person and your mind is going to make you beautiful or more attractive or something, but really it’s what it does for the inside of you, how you feel better. Like when you wake up in the morning and things that you can’t really say as an outside visual validation.

KC Sullivan: [00:39:58] And that’s where it’s like the health and beauty. The lines get blurred so much within ourselves, but they’re so different. They’re such different things. And, you know, if you put ten women all the same size and weight in a room at their but they’re all their numbers are showing optimal health, they’re all going to look different. All their bodies are going to look different because we’re so designed differently. There’s no way. So but the problem becomes we again, are such an image based culture and we see these things, right? This is beauty. This is beauty. This is beauty. This is not or I only fill in one corner of this box. So now I need to go force myself to fill in the other three corners and I’m going to become unhealthy to do that. But it looks like health because I’ve lost weight. I’m like, But now you’re actually not healthy.

Speaker3: [00:40:49] Yeah.

Sharon Cline: [00:40:49] You can’t go upstairs without like, almost passing out kind of thing. Like they’re not.

Speaker3: [00:40:53] Strong.

KC Sullivan: [00:40:54] And so I’m picking on weight a lot because again, it’s the most common one I see. But it’s not just subject to weight. There’s lots of things and variations in that. So it’s just being able to recognize that you have value outside of the exterior and believing that first because then the rest of it falls into place for you.

Sharon Cline: [00:41:15] Wow. What do you love about being a small business owner?

KC Sullivan: [00:41:18] What do I love about being a small business owner? Um. The ability to have a cocktail at lunch if I want one.

Speaker3: [00:41:33] What a good answer.

Sharon Cline: [00:41:34] No one’s telling you. No.

Speaker3: [00:41:36] I know there’s a lot of things.

Sharon Cline: [00:41:40] Listen, people talk about how they love. They don’t have a boss. Like that’s a big thing. Yeah. So that’s actually very valid. Anytime you want to do that, you just let me know.

Speaker3: [00:41:50] Right? I’m like my.

KC Sullivan: [00:41:53] Clients because a lot of times I joke about it and I’m not promoting this in any sort of like bad way, but sometimes my clients need a little boost of courage to get going. So I’ll bring mimosas and we’ll just before we jump into their closet. And, and again, I’m not trying to promote that in an unhealthy like move to alcohol for all your problems kind of way. But so it makes it easy for me to do things like that because I dictate my own rules.

Speaker3: [00:42:17] Dang.

Sharon Cline: [00:42:18] If that isn’t motivating for having your own business, I don’t know what is. There’s just something kind of so empowering about it. Right? Right. So how did the pandemic affect you?

Speaker3: [00:42:28] Did it? Oh, my gosh. I so I.

KC Sullivan: [00:42:33] Actually launched my business in January of that year.

Speaker3: [00:42:36] Two months later, boom.

KC Sullivan: [00:42:37] So start a style business. They said they will come. No, that was your. Nobody got dressed.

Speaker3: [00:42:44] Yeah. Really sweat. So now I’m, like, trying to.

KC Sullivan: [00:42:48] Convince people that they need help picking out their pajamas. Like.

Speaker3: [00:42:53] Like it was a huge.

KC Sullivan: [00:42:58] Shift for me to truly understand what I offered beyond clothing. And again, long term, a blessing in disguise. The first eight months, not so much. That was just rough, but it really forced me to really own what I had always actually wanted to do, which was the internal confidence piece, because it’s so integral to my story. It was so it affected me so greatly. And again, just because of my background, fashion is the tool I use to help, but the real goal of my my business is helping you like yourself first, you know, fall back in love with yourself. Or maybe for the first time ever.

Sharon Cline: [00:43:42] How many people do you think out there aren’t percentage wise, really accepting who they are? Most?

Speaker3: [00:43:48] I would say most.

KC Sullivan: [00:43:49] Just on some degree, yeah. And even the people that you think are the most confident because they’re like extra arrogant or whatever, that’s usually.

Speaker3: [00:43:57] Just.

KC Sullivan: [00:43:58] The lack of confidence showing up as a.

Speaker3: [00:44:00] Mask.

KC Sullivan: [00:44:00] Parading around.

Sharon Cline: [00:44:03] It’s pretty sad when you think about it because I believe what I’m seeing, you know, I’m infected. I’m infected.

Speaker3: [00:44:10] Yeah, we all are.

KC Sullivan: [00:44:11] But if you think about it from the perspective of if you are truly confident and grounded in self, you don’t need validation. You just show up and you’re authentically a genuine human. And those people come across so differently. Like that’s like feel.

Speaker3: [00:44:25] It right there. Groundedness Yeah.

KC Sullivan: [00:44:26] And so to me, that’s true confidence. But it’s not always the way it gets shown in our society.

Sharon Cline: [00:44:34] So where would you like to see your company in like five years? Um.

KC Sullivan: [00:44:43] It’s not so much the where as it is the impact. I want to be able to say I have.

Speaker3: [00:44:50] Truly been a disruptor in this industry.

KC Sullivan: [00:44:53] That I have been able to really revolutionize a. Large amount of people’s mindsets of themselves.

Speaker3: [00:45:02] So the wear isn’t so.

KC Sullivan: [00:45:04] Much my concern, but the.

Speaker3: [00:45:05] Impact I.

KC Sullivan: [00:45:06] Think, is my goal in five years. I want to be able to say I’ve helped a.

Speaker3: [00:45:10] Good chunk of people.

Sharon Cline: [00:45:12] I love it because it really is for the good of all and the harm of none. You know, that’s my hope. And helping people to accept the beautiful parts of themselves that make us unique in that in that way special. It’s very easy for those things to be considered not, like you said, put into a box. And so I can only imagine someone who never really felt like they fit somewhere all of a sudden looking at the things that they thought didn’t make them fit as assets. Right? You know, that’s so beautiful.

Speaker3: [00:45:45] And that’s that’s so real for all of us. How many times have we thought.

KC Sullivan: [00:45:50] Oh, well, this isn’t like anybody else’s? And then five years down the road, we’re like, Thank goodness I got this.

Speaker3: [00:45:56] Like, yeah.

Sharon Cline: [00:45:59] So being different is beautiful.

Speaker3: [00:46:01] It is. It’s so.

KC Sullivan: [00:46:02] Beautiful. And if I can help more people embrace that, then I am a happy person.

Speaker3: [00:46:06] Well, how.

Sharon Cline: [00:46:06] Can people get in touch with you if they wanted to?

KC Sullivan: [00:46:09] I am curating confidence on all the.

Speaker3: [00:46:10] Things, curating confidence. All the things. All the things. It doesn’t matter.

KC Sullivan: [00:46:15] Linkedin, Facebook, Instagram, website, all the things curating confidence.

Speaker3: [00:46:20] Well, Casey, thank.

Sharon Cline: [00:46:21] You for stopping by and letting me get to know a little bit more about what makes you your own special person and unique and how you really love people. And I’m sure it shows I can feel it here in the studio.

Speaker3: [00:46:33] Well, Sharon, thanks for having me. This was a lot of fun.

Sharon Cline: [00:46:35] Yay. And thank you all out there for listening. Thank you for listening to Fearless Formula on Business RadioX. And this is again, Sharon Cline reminding you that with knowledge and understanding, we can all have our own fearless formula. Have a great day.