Author Lora Bunch Carr

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Woodstock, Georgia. This is fearless formula with Sharon Cline.

Sharon Cline: Welcome to Fearless Formula on Business RadioX, where we talk about the ups and downs of the business world and offer words of wisdom for business success. I am your host Sharon Cline, and that was a new intro I am very happy to have, and I have a new guest in the studio today. Her name is Lora Bunch Carr. She is an author of a collection of poetry. It’s called Roots to Light. She’s also a native to Jasper, Georgia, which is wonderful to hear. Got some other books in the works? I’m very excited to have you in the studio. Welcome, Lora.

Lora Bunch Carr: Thank you Sharon, I’m happy to be here. Yay!

Sharon Cline: We were just kind of debriefing before the show, and you’ve got some really amazing twists and turns to your journey of becoming an author. And to be sitting right here in this chair. And I’m excited to kind of dig in.

Lora Bunch Carr: I’m excited to be here. There is much to the story, that’s for sure.

Sharon Cline: Well, what’s wonderful is that I found you on Facebook, and you are associated with a lot of different authors here in Georgia. What I love is that there are so many, and it’s you don’t have to go outside of this town or even North Georgia to find some really talented people who are doing a lot of really amazing things.

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes, there is a lot of talented authors and artists and craftspeople in the North Georgia mountains.

Sharon Cline: And I love, too, that when we were talking about being native to Jasper, there aren’t as many people that I’ve met that can say those words, you know?

Lora Bunch Carr: No, it used to be a lot smaller town and everybody knew everybody. Today at lunch, I was telling my husband, who was not from Jasper, I was like, I don’t think I’ve sat in a restaurant and only recognized one person in a long time. Today, I only knew one person in the in the entire restaurant. That’s so.

Sharon Cline: Wild. What kind of changes have you witnessed over the years? I mean, it must be dramatic.

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, when I was a child growing up in Pickens County, 515 was not even built yet. So there is a lot of changes overall, like you had to go up old highway five to get from Canton to Jasper, right?

Sharon Cline: Right, which goes through Keithsburg and all of that. But there wasn’t a highway, it was just backroads.

Lora Bunch Carr: I remember them bringing the dirt in and leveling it. I was very small, but my grandfather owned property, um, that was adjacent to the highway, so we could sit on his front porch and watch them filling in the roadways and making the big banks going up to build the highway.

Sharon Cline: Oh my gosh, so wild.

Lora Bunch Carr: So I mean, it would take us a very long time to talk about all the changes, I bet.

Sharon Cline: I imagine so, but there.

Lora Bunch Carr: Will be a book about it.

Sharon Cline: So how exciting. Well, I was thinking too, about just the fact that this isn’t like a traditional, um, fiction story. This actually has the book that you have roots to light is obviously a collection of of poetry, but there’s real deep, deep meaning behind how this book came to be. Would you like to talk about that?

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. Roots to Light is 100 poems and 21 paintings, including the cover that all came about during a time period in my life, I would say about 10 to 12 years of when my late husband was very sick. He was sick for 17 out of the 19 years that we were together. And he had, um, kidney failure, which led to, um, dialysis, a kidney transplant, and then dialysis again, um, about 12 years after the transplant. And then so much dialysis is really rough on your heart. So he ended up having a, um, open heart surgery to replace a valve. And then a year later, the valve was closed off due to a blood clot, and he went into cardiac arrest and passed away. So these poems were written during the end stages of his illness, during the grief of his passing, and then the rebuilding of my life and who I was because I had been a wife and caretaker to him for all those years, and we were raising four children. So you’re kind of somebody’s mom, somebody’s wife and somebody’s caretaker, and you’re so busy doing all that, you don’t really know who you are when it all stops abruptly like that.

Sharon Cline: What a long time to take care of someone. Um. Virtually the entire time you were married, there was this weight over you, I imagine.

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. We lived with a lot of that. But, um, he was very good to not focus on that. Like, our focus was always our children. They were the center of everything. So he coached their ball teams. Even through his illness. I worked in the school system. We made sure that our lives kind of revolved around them and their needs. Instead of focusing on what was going on in the background. And I mean, it did affect everybody, including the children, but we didn’t make that an everyday thing in our house. Well, I.

Sharon Cline: Imagine, you know, who would want to be sad every moment like that? Well, you made an effort to really try to create normalcy for your family, it sounds like. Mhm. How hugely important that is for children.

Lora Bunch Carr: It is, it is. They weren’t always aware of how sick their daddy was. We didn’t want them living their life around that. So they weren’t really aware of that most of the time.

Sharon Cline: Wow. And then in hindsight you know I imagine I wonder if they could see things that they didn’t even realize they were witnessing. You know, when you’re you have parents that are trying to protect you, you know, but as adults, I’m sure they could look back and say, yes.

Lora Bunch Carr: They’re all much older now. And and we’ve discussed that and they see things quite differently than they did at the time.

Sharon Cline: I bet you couldn’t believe it. You know what your life was like.

Lora Bunch Carr: Then, right? Oh, what my life is like now versus then is like two different lives. It’s, you know, and both equally important in my journey, but very different for sure. But it took, um, I think it took that to get here. A stepping stone. But the poems and the art were my way of working through the pain and the grief and the loss and finding where I go next.

Sharon Cline: Because you’re you are an artist. Obviously you’re also. I saw an ordained minister, which is so cool.

Lora Bunch Carr: I am, yes, that’s kind of new to the platform.

Sharon Cline: And you are new to the platform and you are a like a coach, a life coach. Yes.

Lora Bunch Carr: That is another thing that I started doing after my husband had passed. Before he passed, I started doing yoga and wellness for my own self because I was just. I had Lyme disease right toward the end of his illness.

Sharon Cline: Oh my goodness.

Lora Bunch Carr: And I was just needing natural ways to heal physically and mentally from the Lyme disease and the stress of the life we were living. And so I got into natural things with wellness, and that led me to the life coaching. And I started taking the classes for me not to help others, but then same as the art and poetry, but then later. Now I feel like by releasing the book I can help other people and with using all the certifications that I got helping myself, I can in return help other people.

Sharon Cline: I love it because some people don’t turn to the light when something like that happens. But you did and you do continue to.

Lora Bunch Carr: I try to stay on the positive side of things. It’s never always positive. Of course, everybody has a bad day or a bad moment, but, um, I feel like when this happened, when you’re when the worst thing that you feared for many, many years happens, and you find yourself standing there and you’ve survived it. Then it changes the way you look at fear, and it changes the way you let that fear control your life because you realize, okay, well, if the worst thing that ever haunted me happened and I made it through it, then what else could there possibly be to be afraid of? So I decided not to let fear stop me anymore, that it didn’t matter what other people thought, and it didn’t matter if I didn’t think I could do it or I might fail. You know you’re going to fail. If you don’t try, you’re never going to have it. You’re automatically failing. So if you don’t try it, you just let fear win. And I wasn’t about to do that. And a little of that motivation too, came from thinking about Terry. That was my late husband, and the fact that he couldn’t really continue living life. He was only 45 years old when he passed away, but I could live it big enough for both of us. Oh my goodness. So that’s was the motivation behind it was like, okay, well I survived this and he’s not here to do it. So I’ll just do it all and we can do it together that way.

Sharon Cline: Had you always been a writer?

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. I started writing poetry and song lyrics when I was 11, and it kind of became, um, a passion of mine. I took a class in elementary school that sparked it, and I just loved reading anyway, and I started writing, but I didn’t share poetry with anybody until actually, I think it was about six years ago. I started putting it in the paper that I write for. I’ve been writing for them for about 11 years, but I didn’t share poetry with them either until a few years ago.

Sharon Cline: Was it too personal?

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. Um, it was much easier for me to share paintings because people can, um, interpret their own feelings into the painting more than they seem to care what you were thinking. But poetry is more raw, and it’s hard to hide behind, I guess.

Sharon Cline: Truth. It’s so, um. You feel so exposed, right? And yes, transparent and and seen when you’ve had a lot of pain already. I can’t imagine not having those be received in the way that you would want, like it would be too painful on top of what you already experienced, right? At least that’s the way I would have looked at it, I guess.

Lora Bunch Carr: Yeah, it was something that held me back for a while, but then like other things, I was like, well, I’m not going to let fear conquer me in that area. Plus, the poems could help someone else who went through what I went through. And they’re not all about what happened. Some. Sometimes it’s just about a nice day. But, you know, sometimes a nice day is what you need on a bad day. You know what I mean? A bad emotional day.

Sharon Cline: And the fact that you could even put into words what you’re thinking and feeling, looking at a normal day, you know, how many times do I just walk by and think it’s beautiful and don’t think another moment about it? But you took time to really feel it and put words to it.

Lora Bunch Carr: I’m really good at overthinking and feeling that way.

Sharon Cline: Oh my God, we’re soul sisters. I overthink everything. Well, I mean, how beautiful is it to consider that you chose to honor your husband by ex-husband? Or is that how you say it?

Lora Bunch Carr: How do you literally just say late husband? Late husband?

Sharon Cline: Sorry. Thank you.

Lora Bunch Carr: Now that I’m remarried, it gets kind of funny to how to.

Sharon Cline: Yeah, I’m sorry if I said it wrong, but like we’ll say late husband. Your late husband to say I’m going to honor you by pretending you’re with me all the time and live, um, bringing you with me. I mean, how beautiful is that?

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, that was not in the way of the book, because I don’t think he ever thought I would share any of my poetry either. But, um, that’s how he wanted it. Even in his death, he did not want to be away from his family, so he wanted to be cremated. And he stays in our home now. And so it was just another way to honor that. He always wanted to be with us. So this was another way to carry him with me.

Sharon Cline: When you talk about the journey of healing through poetry, what was it like to start writing? And did you notice by the end of the time that you were kind of processing that the writing changed over these hundred poems?

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. The writing goes in so many different directions, and as you read through the book and even the paintings as well, you can see, you know, some were written through the stages of, you know, reflection, some were written through anger, you know, some were written with sadness. So there’s so much just like there’s so many stages of grief, you know, you can kind of tell when you’re reading through where they were and even into the rebuilding, because once I had to figure out who I was and find that confidence in myself and be able to move on and allow myself to love again, because that that wasn’t easy. Like even after you start dating again, there’s a big difference between, okay, I’m lonely and I’m just going to date and find somebody to hang out with, so I’m not home alone all the time. Then being ready and open to actually loving someone again because the next fear is I don’t want to be left like that again. So you don’t open up so easily to right to do that. Risky.

Sharon Cline: It’s too risky.

Lora Bunch Carr: So it was it was a lot, but I wasn’t really looking for it when it happened. And that’s usually the best ways. You know, he and I were friends. We had met through work, through a work thing, and we were friends and and then it just became more than friends. And here we are for almost four years later and a year and a half married.

Sharon Cline: Wow. I bet you couldn’t believe that either.

Lora Bunch Carr: No, no definitely not. But it’s been a wonderful blessing and he’s very supportive. And what I love most is that, um, he’s very inclusive and encouraging with keeping my late husband’s memory involved with our children and grandchildren. And he doesn’t. You know, some people it sounds silly, but some people are threatened or jealous of someone who has passed away and he has never been that way. So it’s been it’s been wonderful the way it all came about.

Sharon Cline: It’s a gift. Like a gift to your life.

Lora Bunch Carr: Definitely. I’m very blessed.

Sharon Cline: So when you realized as you were writing and processing, what were some of the, um, were you surprised you had 100 poems and then enough to actually make an official book?

Lora Bunch Carr: I guess I was surprised that it was 100, but to be honest, there’s there’s more than 100. This was just the 100 that I picked for the book. But, um, I still was surprised that there was that many. I did not realize because I had not written them all in one place, somewhere in notes in my phone, and some were in journals that I had written in during all the processing, and some were in a little notebook that I just put in. So when I started typing them all up and putting them in a document, it was like, wow, I really have written a lot of poems and there’s even more that I’ve written since.

Sharon Cline: So what was the feeling like to process with writing? Like how did that healing come? Was it because you were getting something out of your heart and actually written down? Yeah, it’s.

Lora Bunch Carr: Like a release, like when something’s built up and you feel the anxiety and the pressure, and then when you can write it down and get it out, then you’re allowed to let go of it. Then, you know, there’s been times when I’ve had trouble sleeping and something’s rolling around in my head or my heart, and I can get out of bed and sit down and write it down. Well, then I can go to sleep because I’ve released it. I’ve let it go.

Sharon Cline: How cathartic. And have something beautiful to show for it.

Lora Bunch Carr: It can be the same way with painting too. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and not been able to go back to sleep and get up and do a painting. So, I mean, I guess that’s just my outlet. You know, somebody might listen to music or sing or play the guitar, and that’s their outlet. But writing and poetry and nonfiction writing are mine.

Sharon Cline: So how did you go about, um, publishing the book yourself? Um, what were the steps that you took?

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, first I talked to several publishers, and I did have three that offered to publish the book for me. But this book was very personal to me, and I wasn’t willing to compromise on what was in it or what the cover was, or they could have changed it. I got you. Um, you. Some of them are really good to to leave you with a good bit of creative control, and some aren’t. But I can be kind of stubborn. And with this book I wanted 100% creative control. So a friend of mine had published a book on her own and she gave me the number to her editor. Um, and so I called Miss Ashley Jane, who is the editor of my book, and she was absolutely amazing and walked me through all the steps of what I needed to do and where she could fill in for me and do the things that I didn’t know how to do or didn’t want to do.

Sharon Cline: I’m sure it’s daunting.

Lora Bunch Carr: It is. It was several months in the making to get it from sending the draft to the actual printed book. Being in my.

Sharon Cline: Hand, I saw it’s on Amazon. It is.

Lora Bunch Carr: It’s actually it’s published through both KDP which is Amazon’s publishing, and Ingram Sparks. Oh, wow. So it is on Amazon. But you can find it on Walmart or um, any of the bookstores. Barnes and Noble. Second, Charles is in with all of them.

Sharon Cline: I found that many times when I’m trying to connect with someone, that the more raw my feelings are, and emotions and ways to articulate those feelings and emotions really create a path to connect. Because so much of what we’re feeling are universal emotions and we are more alike than we are different. I agree, which is why I love Fearless Formula because highlighting fear. Everyone knows what fear is like, but the goal of the show is to help people, anyone, to see what someone else did to manage it. So hopefully it’s inspiring to someone to follow their own dreams. Um, but it sounds like when you have grief, like what you’ve tried to process and how you’ve used poetry and this book to process through that, you’ve opened a pathway for other people to really feel the rawness of what it’s like to be a human. Can you talk a little bit about the reception of your book and what what ways you feel like they’ve helped other people?

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, I have gotten some really good feedback from people that have told me that they have found things in the book that help them not only to know me better, but to relate to themselves and be able to look at things in a different way that they may not have thought about before. And that helped them get through different areas of their life that they were having a challenge in.

Sharon Cline: It doesn’t have to be death, right? Anybody can feel grief for anything.

Lora Bunch Carr: There’s a lot of different ways to feel grief and to experience trauma that you might need help processing those feelings and being able to release them in a positive way, because there’s a lot of negative ways out there that are available to you if you so choose. But we don’t talk about enough. The positive ways that you can channel a hurt into a way not only to heal yourself, but to help other people. And that’s what I wanted to do. And I’m very thankful that I do get that feedback from people because it makes me feel like, okay, well, I didn’t open myself up here for nothing. You know, I was able to reach some other people and help them. And if you can do that for just one person, then it was worth it.

Sharon Cline: It’s sacred work. It’s very sacred work knowing Knowing that you could have, like I said, you could have chosen a darker path, or you could have shut down or anything. There is no telling what kind of impacts grief has, and I don’t know that anyone can truly predict it until they’re in it. But the fact that you chose to do something that is helping other people, not just like you said, get to know you as a human, but ways that they can process a grief day or just a beautiful day or an angry day We all feel all of those things.

Lora Bunch Carr: And they’re all valid and they’re human, and they should not be something that we’re ashamed of or feel like we can’t share with someone because we’re going to be judged.

Sharon Cline: Where did the title Routes Into Light come from? What does that mean to you?

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, I think it became more of a symbol of having to grow from those roots that were left and find the light, you know, because when you’re transitioning from one life to another that you didn’t ask for and didn’t want, you only can use what you have, which are the roots that are left over after the fire, so to speak, and then try to grow from those roots up to the light and build something new and beautiful for yourself.

Sharon Cline: What do you think people don’t understand about what it was like to be you during that time?

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, I think sometimes as humans, we see traumatic events and we see loss and we feel really bad for people, but then they feel like it falls off, you know what I mean? Everybody goes back to their normal life, and that’s when you’re left with yourself. And people don’t realize how hard that part is. That part is very lonely because in the beginning, everybody’s around you. Everybody wants to be there for you, but they can’t just sit with you forever. They have to go on with their life. And then you have to figure out, okay, now what? Now all the people have gone back to their life and they’re not sitting here with me day in and day out, and I have to figure out how to do this. And that was the hardest part for me, was finding myself sitting there and not knowing which direction to go.

Sharon Cline: Because you had been a caretaker and a mother and all of those things. But to find out who you are, just you. Mhm. That must have been overwhelming.

Lora Bunch Carr: It was. And we were in this little small town where we both have huge families and everybody knows everybody. And like I said, he had coached for all those years and I had worked in the school system. So we knew a lot of people from our families and our works in the community. So everybody was there for you, but you did know everybody, so there was also no escaping it. Like you couldn’t go to the grocery store to buy gas, or where you didn’t run into somebody to talk to about how are you? How are you doing? So, um, I started kind of spending a lot of time to myself, and that’s how the painting and the writing started, because I was like, I have to find a way to heal myself without having to talk about it all the time.

Sharon Cline: And face it and be defined by it, right? Every place you went. I always think that’s awkward for me. How, you know, do you? When something like this happens and imagining I’m seeing you at Walmart, do you just. Do you talk about it or do you just say, hey, how you doing? It’s good to see you? Or do you say, you know, how are things? And I don’t know, it’s like an uncomfortable space because you don’t want to upset someone, but you don’t want to ignore something that’s so cataclysmic. So I don’t know how I would have approached it either.

Lora Bunch Carr: It’s just it’s not a right or wrong. It’s just kind of one of those things that it is how it is. But sometimes, you know, you do need a break from it. So you go to the store in a different town, or you stay home and write a poem or painting.

Sharon Cline: What is painting meant to you then?

Lora Bunch Carr: Painting is actually a lot newer to me. I did not start painting till 2014 and that just came from. We moved to an apartment and I wanted some artwork for the walls and living off disability and a part time job, because I only worked part time because the kids in his medical needs, we didn’t really have the money to go buy all new paintings, but it wasn’t that expensive to get some canvas. So I was like, I’ll try to paint them myself then. And I did, and I, I loved it, and it was like, oh, wow. I had drawn all through my life. So drawing was something that I had done, but I never painted, and it was so relaxing and such a meditation for me that I just kept doing it. But that’s how it started. I really didn’t even know it was something that I could do.

Sharon Cline: When you’re getting ready to paint something, do you have an idea of what you want to paint, or do you let it just unfold and it becomes its own thing?

Lora Bunch Carr: It really depends. Sometimes I will have an idea that I want to do, and I will just do it and let it flow. But sometimes I see something else and I think, oh, I would want to paint that, but in a different way. Okay. You know, I like abstract and silhouette paintings. So sometimes I will see a painting that’s more realistic or or not really the style I would have painted it in. And I will think, oh, I’m going to try to paint that, but in my style. So it, it kind of depends on if I’m painting from just, oh, I want to do that or if painting from feeling.

Sharon Cline: So you got to use two different mediums of art and creativity to process. Yes. And you still do you have an art show tonight?

Lora Bunch Carr: I do actually. It’s, um. Art walk in Jasper tonight from 6 to 9. I will have a booth with my book and a few paintings of mine. Some are from the book, some are not. And I’m on the board of Sassafras Literary, which is a writing club in my town, and they will be there next to me, also with a booth. So I’m looking forward to seeing all of my friends and everybody that comes out to join us for Art walk.

Sharon Cline: So that community. How important is that community been to you? Sassafras.

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, sassafras is kind of new to me other than, you know, as a child it was around and we could submit to it. But as far as getting to be part of it, that’s only been in the last year, and it’s been very exciting because it’s taking a new growth. Um, a lot of the members that founded it have been retiring. So they kind of recruited some of us that are in the community that are, um, younger writers to come in and bring it into the next generation to inspire more writers. And we’re having a youth contest this year that we’re going to be starting up soon for all the the middle school and high school age kids to submit different writings of all the different genres.

Sharon Cline: Do you feel like there are so many people that write, and then they just don’t have an opportunity or an outlet to really share what their writing is? Because I do. I think I have some poems I’ve written and I’m like, I’ve just never considered it actually meaning something to anyone but me, right?

Lora Bunch Carr: I think that a lot of people, um, that write don’t share it because they’re either afraid of opening themselves up or that, like you said, like they just don’t think it’ll mean anybody, anything to anyone else. But I encourage them to go. There’s so many different. Like I’m a member of Broad Leaf too, and the Cartersville Area Riders. So I encourage people to go to things like that in their town. And even if you don’t want to read right away, listen to the other people read and you’ll find there’s not as many differences in you that you think like you we were talking about, we’re so connected that, you know, hopefully eventually they’ll want to get up and share their works as well. I started going to writing events and listening years before I actually shared anything of my own. So that impacted you? Yes, and encouraged me as well.

Sharon Cline: And there’s so many opportunities in many different towns. You don’t have to go that far, you know, to really feel like you are part of a community that makes you feel brave to do it.

Lora Bunch Carr: Your local library will have many different things going on, and they can connect you with things, but also just search in groups on Facebook. Almost everybody has a Facebook group that has a writing group.

Sharon Cline: And you’re part of one as well, right? On Facebook too. Well, the broadleaf, I know I had interviewed the founder. Um, there are just some amazing people that are just I walk by every day, you know, and just never know their backstory. Um, which is why I love hearing about yours, because I. I would never have known what it’s like to be you. And the fact that you look at fear so differently, having faced something so devastating, makes me wish that I didn’t have to experience something devastating in order for myself to be brave.

Lora Bunch Carr: I, I can see why we do that as humans. But I’m with you. I feel like it shouldn’t take something so hurtful and traumatic for us to realize that fear is something we’re allowing to control us. Like it doesn’t have any power unless we give power to it. But for the majority of my life, I lived with fear.

Sharon Cline: Well, every day, right?

Lora Bunch Carr: Right. I mean, for 41 years, I was 41 when when my late husband passed. And until that point, fear had been a main driver and controller in my life, and I didn’t even realize it until it was gone. And it was a little scary, to be honest, when it was gone, because I was sitting there one day and I was like, wow, like, is this even normal? Should I call a counselor or something? Oh no kidding. Because like, why am I not afraid of anything? Like, you know what I mean, right? Not saying I still aren’t a I’m not afraid of anything. There are things that I do but get afraid of. But in that moment when it first hit me, I literally was not afraid of anything. It was like the worst things happened. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. So then after that, of course, fear creeps in here or there, but I’m able to use that to push it back out the door and be like, nope. You know, I already know that you can’t control me like that.

Sharon Cline: So you can feel the natural impulse to want to control or want to protect or whatever it is that drives or encourages fear to be part of your life. But you, you know it’s coming and you have a tool to get it to, right?

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, I showed up here today. I never would have done that a few years ago, really. And I still have to talk myself into it sometimes. And like you said, um, when I first came in, you were like, um, you know, I feel like I haven’t prepared you a whole lot, but I don’t like to be prepared. And my husband was asking me last night. He was like, do you want to talk about it? Do you want to go over what you might say? And I’m like, no, because then, you know, I won’t want to do it. Oh, so I don’t think about it anymore. Like, I, I don’t let myself overthink that. I just if it’s something I want to do, I say yes, and I just make myself do it through the fear instead of, you know, letting it push me back and and control me.

Sharon Cline: Well, I become too, I, I care too much. And then the outcome is so important to me that if it isn’t the outcome that I want, then I’m hurt in some way. So I don’t want to prepare too much either. If I put too much into it, then I have too much invested in the outcome as opposed to surrendering to the process, which is a much happier experience and actually winds up being more satisfying. And usually I’m much happier with the outcome if I don’t try to make an outcome well.

Lora Bunch Carr: It’s very unnatural for creative people to detach their emotions from their work. But I think you do have to find some level of that. Of course, you can’t do that entirely, because your emotions are what drive your creativity and you want to feed that, but you also don’t want to be so emotionally attached to it that the fear takes over, and you don’t want to share it because you’re afraid of what other people might think or how they might receive it.

Sharon Cline: How do you think your attitude toward fear has, um, sort of not letting it drive you or impact your life as strongly as it did before? How do you think that attitude change has impacted your children? Because they’re the next generation to come and they haven’t had to experience a partner leaving, you know. But I’m wondering how that impacts their relationships or or the direction of their lives. Have you noticed anything?

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, they have told me in different ways, especially my daughter. You know, girls tend to talk to you more about their feelings than the boys do, but, um, they have they have told me that, um, things that I have said or done have helped them in different ways to see things differently. But even though they haven’t lost a partner, they lost a parent and they were not very old. My youngest was ten when their father passed away, and then I had a 17 year old and two that were 20, so they were still quite young. And I think in some ways it was the same for them. You know, they had also had to realize something that they had feared and they were able to overcome that. And while it never really you never really start stop grieving. It just kind of changes. It’s a place that you learn to work through and around, but it doesn’t ever leave. But they have all done so well. I’m so proud of them. The youngest one will be graduating my Tristan. He will graduate this next year is his senior year. He’s playing football. He’s doing great. And then, um, my middle son, he he works really hard. He’s works in auto body, but he also writes he’s a he’s a rapper actually, and he’s recorded a couple of songs and he does write all his own material. So he, he did get that, you know, Gene from me, I guess that’s amazing. Way to one. The one that is actually out on YouTube is about his father and his, his passing. So. And then my oldest son, he is a writer as well. He has written some country music songs.

Sharon Cline: Amazing! Oh my goodness. Yeah.

Lora Bunch Carr: And some of those have been played on the radio as well.

Sharon Cline: So I’ll have to have your creative family come and talk about what it’s like to, to use something like these deep, intense emotions to connect to other people and make them feel less alone.

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes. It is so great to have that outlet that you can help yourself and help others with at the same time. And my daughter went on to get her degree in psychology and she works mostly with children. Oh wow. So everybody has found really positive ways to channel their their loss and their trauma to give back to other people in various ways.

Sharon Cline: You had said that you compare your life that you have now to what it was like before, in it’s night and day. I almost feel like we have periods in our lives that are kind of like a renaissance. You know, there’s I was married for 20 years, and who I was when I was married was is not who I am now. And I’m so much happier now. And as much as I didn’t want, you know, the negative things of of of a family breaking up, I didn’t want that who I am now as a, um, human. Like the way I move through the world, the way I like to say it, um, impacts them differently than if I had stayed in a relationship that wasn’t, um, emotionally sustaining.

Lora Bunch Carr: Right? We. We should always be learning and building and growing and bettering ourselves. If you stay the same person all the time, then that’s not healthy for you. You should always be, you know, growing and learning something new to become a new version of you. Because there’s a real problem if you stay stuck not just for you, but for all the people around you too, because that means that you’re not really living life, that you’re just kind of existing. And I’ve always said there’s always events that happen in your life, whether it be having a child, getting married, getting divorced, losing someone that kind of defines before that and after that. But nothing’s the same because it changes everything. Because before you were a mother, you know, I was a totally different person then than after my first child was born. But it definitely is like two entirely different lives that I’m living now versus before.

Sharon Cline: And you seem like you’re in a happier, obviously happier spot. But how amazing is it to even go to a bookstore and potentially see your book on a shelf? I mean, I always think things like it didn’t exist before and now it exists came from your, you know, inspired through your brain. And now it’s a physical something. I always find that amazing. It is.

Lora Bunch Carr: Interesting. And there’s two things that are real interesting to me about it. One is that it will be here longer than I will be. And that’s a kind of a weird feeling to think, okay, well, something I said or or wrote or painted could live on many years past me. And then the other was why is my picture on everything? That was really hard to get used to. And when they would be like, oh, we need to put your picture on the book and you know, you need to have your picture on a flier. And I was just like, okay, all the time.

Sharon Cline: Yeah, yeah. I’m not a very happy selfie person. I don’t like taking pictures of myself or being in pictures. I just don’t like it. I like the voice part, like we can have video in here, but I actually really appreciate that. It’s not about looks, it’s not about any of that. It’s like the message is the most important to me. I love that.

Lora Bunch Carr: I don’t know why it was different. I’ve never really minded selfies so much and I would I would take them with my friends and stuff and put them on my social media. But I guess it’s different Still, whenever you think, okay, well, this little group of people that you already know versus all of these people that you don’t, you don’t know, so.

Sharon Cline: Wild.

Lora Bunch Carr: And I have a group of friends you’ll see in the front of the book we call each other ya-yas because we have been friends forever, a lot of us since elementary school. I’m really blessed to have such a large group of women that are so supportive and amazing and, um, they are very instrumental in keeping me encouraged and focused as well. And, um, you know, they find it humorous sometimes too, with me, and we can laugh about it and be like, can you believe this?

Sharon Cline: Do you think you have a fearless formula? Do you think it is just being able to look at what you’ve been through and know that nothing is ever going to scare you as much as that?

Lora Bunch Carr: Yes, I do, and and even if something were to be more scary than what I would think, that could be the worst. Scary. Um, just knowing that I have enough faith, and I have my friends and my family. That’s the trifecta to see me through whatever it is that I need to come out the other side of.

Sharon Cline: Friends and family and faith. What advice would you give someone who is experiencing something that, like you have or has a collection of poetry that they think they would like to publish as well? What would what advice would you give them?

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, someone who is experiencing the things that I have been through, um, one big thing that I would say is that you have a lot more power than you think you have. You’re in control of so much more than you, than you might feel like you are. You feel like everything’s coming down on you and you have no control over it. But you can really change your entire life by first looking inside and changing the way you view things. You can’t change the things that have happened to you or that will happen to you, but you can change the way that you look at it and the way you react to it, and that can make all the difference. And that’s really hard to see when you’re that far down. But it is the most important thing to see because without the knowledge that you can change it, what are you going to do to actually take action to change it? So people just don’t know that they have that power, that you can really change the way you think about something and make that the first step to changing your entire life. And then, um, what was the second part of the question?

Sharon Cline: Oh, um, also, I did throw two in there. Um, also, um, if someone has a collection of of poetry or have a book that they would like to have published, what what advice would you give them?

Lora Bunch Carr: Well, I would say if you aren’t ready to jump all in, find a like a little local paper, like the paper that I take poetry submissions and do stories for the best in North Georgia mountains. Um, I encourage people all the time that I’m friends and family. Even if you want to put your name on it, you know, write under a pen name or use your initials. But send me your poem or send another paper. Your poem. We keep it anonymous. We don’t tell if you don’t want us to, but put it out there and let people read it and see what their reaction is. And if that’s really what you’re afraid of. Because honestly, the reaction is probably not going to be what you think it is. People are really going to either not care at all, and then you know that releases you from that, or they’re going to receive it in a way much better than what you thought. But honestly, in my opinion, you shouldn’t care anyway. Like at some point just don’t care what they think and do it anyways. But that gives you a little start if you’re not ready to just throw a book out there yet. But if you if you want to do it, just do it. I mean, there’s feel the fear.

Sharon Cline: And do it anyway.

Lora Bunch Carr: Right? Just do it anyways. I mean, what are they going to do? What’s the worst they can say to, you know, they didn’t like it? Well, don’t read it then. Yeah.

Sharon Cline: Read something else. Kind of simple. When you think about it.

Lora Bunch Carr: I don’t like everything either. I mean, we’re all going to have the things we like or don’t like, but you know, you don’t exactly have to make someone try to feel bad about it. And you shouldn’t let fear keep you from doing it just because you can’t please every person on the planet.

Sharon Cline: That’s such good advice. Well, if anyone wanted to get in touch with you regarding your book, or to talk about you about any of the things that you’ve experienced, how could they do that?

Lora Bunch Carr: I have a website, Laura Bunch Cars.com try to keep things real simple there. And um, my wellness email is revived 360 wellness at gmail.com. That’s a good way to email me. I do run the book through there too, so that’s always a good way to get me and social media. I’m pretty much everywhere now. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.

Sharon Cline: I’ll have to follow you on all of those. I know I’m friends with you on Facebook, but you also have a book page that I need to follow. So it’s it’s interesting. It’s like you can never kind of rest with the social media side of it.

Lora Bunch Carr: Um, no. And it’s really weird to Google yourself and see a million things pop up. I think that was my first realistic, um, shock was when I decided to just try to Google myself and see. And then the book came up and the different social medias and the website, and I was like, wow, okay.

Sharon Cline: You have a real presence now. It’s wild. I know I always think the same thing. Like, I’m not really that it looks like I’m so important, you know? But it’s really I’m just, you know, you’re still just you. Yeah. Just me.

Lora Bunch Carr: And then I’m like, thank you, God for this platform. Please help me to use it in a positive way. So I don’t end up on a tabloid. I can end up instead helping someone.

Sharon Cline: It’s nice that you have that thought of using it in a nice way, because not everybody does so right. Well, I want to thank you so much for being so willing to share about your story. I appreciate, too, that you really look at not just poetry and not just yoga, but you’re actually looking at a lot of different aspects of people’s lives in the wellness field to encourage people to feel better about whatever it is that they’re experiencing. And I admire that so much because, again, like, it’s something that’s happened to you. You could have chosen many different paths to process, but you chose one that is not only beneficial to yourself, but anyone else who’s in your in your realm. Um, and that’s very, um. It’s beautiful.

Lora Bunch Carr: Thank you. Um, I also would like to invite you and everyone else to pick up a copy of The Best of North Georgia, because I do write a wellness column for for the coaching and wellness, and it talks a lot about different outlets that help you. And then I do a travel column for them as well, because my, my husband and I like we like to travel a lot. Wonderful. So we do that. And that would be, um, a really good way to see more of what I’m up to as well. Excellent.

Sharon Cline: Well thank you. Thank you so much for sharing. And thank you for coming all the way from Jasper to the studio today and and braving the Woodstock traffic that I dealt with earlier today.

Lora Bunch Carr: At least there was no rain today. It’s a beautiful day.

Sharon Cline: That’s true. I’m tired of the rain as well. Um, but yeah, I feel really lucky to have gotten to share this conversation with you. And anytime you’d like to come back, please feel free. I’m excited to see where you go.

Lora Bunch Carr: Maybe next year we can talk about, um, my book about my Appalachian pawpaw that’s coming out, my nonfiction book next year.

Sharon Cline: Yes, I would love to. I’m fascinated by that. So how fun. Something to look forward to for sure.

Lora Bunch Carr: That book will definitely be fun. He was quite the funny guy. He had lots of interesting songs and sayings that will be in the book. Well, then.

Sharon Cline: A lot of people will be able to identify with it, right? Yes. No, it’s a whole culture. Yeah. I’m excited. Well, thank you again so much for for coming to the studio and and being such a caring and kind heart and soul in the world. I really appreciate the opportunity to get to share that with you. And thank you all for listening to Fearless Formula on Business RadioX. And again, this is Sharon Cline reminding you that with knowledge and understanding, we can all have our own fearless formula. Have a great day!