The Art of Active Listening: Elevating Your Leadership Game

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Stone Payton: Welcome to the High Velocity Radio show, where we celebrate top performers producing better results in less time. Stone Payton here with you this afternoon. You guys are in for a real treat. Please join me in welcoming to the broadcast with Take the Next Step, Jane Bishop. How are you?

Jane Bishop: Well, Stone, thank you for having me to have a conversation with you today.

Stone Payton: Well, I have really been looking forward to this conversation. I got a lot of questions and I don’t know, we might not get to them all, but let’s, uh, let’s start by maybe if you could describe for me and our listeners mission. Purpose. What are you really out there trying to do for folks, Jane.

Jane Bishop: The great question, Stone. I really am passionate about empowering others to go for their IT, whatever they’re looking for at a season in life, at a point in life, at a career, and helping them understand that a lot of times they have everything they need or most everything they need within them. They either don’t know it or they don’t know how to pull it out. But helping them realize that, identify it, and really be able to stand on their story and make a difference in their sphere of influence.

Stone Payton: So tell us a little bit about your journey. How did you find yourself doing this kind of work?

Jane Bishop: So I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version. I have been blessed and fortunate to be in three different career contexts The Academic Athletic Arena, where I was coaching and teaching on a small college level. Then the corporate sector where I was using my gifts and skills with the strategic development, consulting, coaching, training. And then now as an unplanned solopreneur. So I’m where I am today simply because that’s how my life has evolved.

Stone Payton: So I saw a phrase in the, the, the pre-show preparation that I did. And at first I thought it was a typo. And then I thought, you know what? This isn’t a typo. She is using this word. She’s using it for a reason. And you were talking about the coach approach to Leadering. Can you speak more to more to that?

Jane Bishop: Leadering. Well, I think maybe there was a little typo there that I did not catch, but a coach approach to leading and or leadership. That is a great way for people to learn how to better connect with other stone, and it’s using five basic coaching skills that those of us who are professional and credentialed coaches use. Anybody can learn, anybody can use and begin using that approach to conversations and connecting with people. And it is amazing what happens as a result of that. A coaching colleague of mine likes to put it this way in saying it’s like having a conversation on steroids.

Stone Payton: Okay, so there are coaching competencies that can make someone a far more effective leader. That’s funny. So it really was a typo. I like that word though. I’m going to start saying leader. It’s like an action word right.

Jane Bishop: Hey you know and and since I gave you that typo, I’ll use it too. So we can both use it. So how’s how’s your leadering go going today? I think that’s a great see, I love stuff like that.

Stone Payton: I do too, I do too, but look. Yeah, say more about this because it’s the, the, the things that you’ve learned as a professional coach. Those competencies, those skills, those discipline, that rigor, those really do dovetail right into what it takes to to be a good leader and, and generate results with and through the, the voluntary cooperation and effort of other people, doesn’t it?

Jane Bishop: Yes, yes it does. And connecting with people is different than communicating. You can communicate. You can offload information all day, but it doesn’t always connect with the person or the people around to really connect. It’s understanding what is valuable to that person and where the two of you can intersect, or the group of you can intersect. And I’ll just I’ll just give you a little freebie here. The five basic coaching skills that I teach in a, in a workshop that I do are all around listening, asking powerful questions. It’s about aligning to the language that that person is using. You know what’s important to them. You know, picking up and listening on that brainstorming and then finding a way to support, you know, in terms of what you’re hearing. But the two basic ones, the listening and the powerful questions. If if people would practice, learn and practice and hone those skills and didn’t do anything else, stone it, it would be phenomenal. What incredible results would be experienced?

Stone Payton: I don’t remember exactly who it was, but I’ve been blessed with a lot of mentors throughout my career. And he did a great job in like this workshop, really painting the picture and the distinction between listening and waiting. Right? Those are two different things, aren’t they?

Jane Bishop: Yes yes, yes. Well, you know, listening. I don’t know what the what what your mentor did, but listening is, is not hearing. Hearing is that auditory function. We hear sounds and we pick up way, you know, sound waves and different tones if we are listening. Basically what we’re doing, we are all in with that person or that group. We are listening for what they’re saying, for what they’re not saying. We’re focused. We’re not looking around and distracted. We are involved in in their words and understanding where they’re coming from. So it is an all in process.

Stone Payton: So are you working with individuals, teams? Uh, who are you? Who are you working with these days?

Jane Bishop: Yes. Uh, both. As a matter of fact, I work with I have individual coaching clients. I work with teams and groups on a lot of communication and leadership. Under the umbrella of what are some essentials for high performing teams, and it all comes out of how we lead ourselves, because how you and I lead ourselves, how well we do that is really going to determine how effective we are in leading others.

Stone Payton: Well, that’s an interesting perspective. Say more about this because, well, the positive aspect of that, what I find in empowering and inspiring about that is maybe that I do have some degree of control, right? If I start working on leading myself, say more about that.

Jane Bishop: Trying to think of a good, good metaphor, because I think metaphors are an important if if we are if we’re driving a car. I don’t know that this is the best metaphor, but it’s the one that comes up. But if we’re driving a car, we are in control of that car in terms of where it goes. You know, the acceleration, the braking and the changing of the gears. To some degree, though, the car also has its control mechanism because it it functions and everything works together in the engine and all the components. However, how well those components work together is really dependent on how well we care for those components in the inner workings of the car and then how we use those components, how hard we brake, how quickly we accelerate those types of dynamics. Same can hold true to ourselves. We must take care of our internal components physical, mental, social, spiritual and then handle those in a way so that they are used effectively.

Stone Payton: Well, I think it’s a marvelous metaphor. And then to me, it extends for where my mind went was, yeah, we have some control over that immediate environment, but we have to leverage that to adapt and respond to some things we don’t have control over, like the guy in front of us and the guy behind us.

Jane Bishop: Right. Exactly, exactly. So if you’re if if you haven’t taken care of your car and you need new brakes and all of a sudden you have to hit the brakes and they’re not there, what’s going to happen potentially.

Stone Payton: Now, do you make a distinction in your work? Because I know some do between these different things mentoring, consulting, counseling, coaching, the there’s do you make some distinctions between those things?

Jane Bishop: Yes, yes. There are there are distinctions. Stone. That’s a great that’s a great insight from your side. And I appreciate you bringing that up, because a lot of people think that that counseling is coaching and coaching is counseling and consulting is coaching. And here’s the basic distinctions between those disciplines. Consulting is when I go into your organization or your team and you you have issues or you’ve identified that something’s not right, but you don’t know what it is. So I do an assessment. I do all that it takes to get involved, to put together a plan. And I hand that off to you and I say, here’s the plan based on my knowledge, based on my assessment. It’s up to you to work the plan. That’s what consultants do. Counselors will work with you to resolve something from generally our past that is holding us back from moving forward or leading forward, as I like to call it, effectively in our lives. So we have to put some closure to to whatever that is in our past experiences that we just haven’t reconciled. So counseling the discipline of counseling and therapy helps with that. Mentoring is where we come alongside somebody and we act as a guide and we ask questions, but we always but we also invest and impart what we have learned along the way our lessons learned, our hard knocks, things that we got knocked down and had to learn to to get back up. And then coaching is where the client, let’s say you and I were you were you and I were in a coaching coach relationship and you were the client. You are definitely in the driver’s seat, stone. My job is not to take over the wheel and tell you where to go. My job is to watch and listen and observe and ask questions, and then occasionally nudge you to keep you from going off in the ditch. So it’s helping. It’s listening and asking those good, powerful questions so that your wheels begin to turn in your brain and put some things together that perhaps you haven’t thought about.

Stone Payton: Well, yeah. Then those are very different, um, roles and. Right. And functions. And you’ve chosen to gravitate for the most part to coaching, I take it.

Jane Bishop: Yes. That that is my, you know, coach’s the one difference in the distinction in the counseling and the therapy discipline and the coaching profession. Therapists are required to have a license, a credential. There’s certain types of certifications that they are required to go to through, to accomplish, to, to be known as a legitimate therapist. Coaches do not have to do that. How? It’s. However, if you want a legitimate coach, they’re going to be a credentialed or a professional coach that has that coach specific training. Because here’s what happens. Sometimes people say, oh, I’ve got this great coach. They tell me everything I’m supposed to do. Well, okay, then they’re either being a consultant or a mentor. They’re not really being a true coach, because that means you’re not having to think about it. So you want to be disciplined in your experience and your knowledge base, even in the coaching profession, as you do in the other professions.

Stone Payton: Well, and you made the financial and time and energy investment in yourself and in the profession to become a credentialed coach with, um, the International Coaching Federation. Say a little bit about that experience.

Jane Bishop: Yes. The International Coach Federation is is a global organization that is one of the most widely Recognized for coaching, credentialing, and coaching membership. And there’s a certain standards. Any of us who are credentialed through that organization, there are certain coach specific training that we have to do initially, and then there are continuing coaching credits every three years that have to be taken to renew our credential. If a person wants to renew it. There are professional standards, ethical standards, learning support systems. So it is a it’s a good organization, even though a lot of people have not heard about it. And it it’s a guide. It a lot of people will find coaches through that organization because they know they’re they’re credible.

Stone Payton: So at this point in your career, you know, you’ve been at this a while now, what are you finding the most rewarding about the about the work. What do you enjoy the most these days?

Jane Bishop: One of the things I enjoy the most about coaching is when that person or that group has that aha moment and the expression, the energy, the excitement that starts showing up, and they start realizing and putting pieces together of a puzzle that they already had, they just didn’t know where the connecting points were. I love that.

Stone Payton: So how does the whole sales and marketing thing work for a coach? Like how do you get the the new business?

Jane Bishop: Well, that’s a very challenging part of coaching for most coaches. I you know, I tell it like it is.

Stone Payton: Yeah.

Jane Bishop: There are a lot of business models in the in the coaching world. Some will use the business model of creating funnels to attract people to be able to disseminate information. Others will you speaking to get in front of groups to make themselves known? It really depends on the coach as to what model they use. The key to any model though, that that they try to use in sales and marketing is are two things from my experience and observation. Number one, there’s got to be a marketing plan. You can’t just say, okay, I’m a coach, everybody come now who wants to, you know, pull some things out of them, here I am. That doesn’t work. There’s got to be a plan. And number two, that marketing plan must align with who you are. Just because somebody else is doing, or it’s the hottest and latest thing on the market, does not mean it’s for you. When solopreneurs and entrepreneurs or anybody, but specifically in that I’ll just key in on those two, start trying to grab everything that comes across their path because they think that’s going to get them where they want to go, and yet it’s out of alignment with who they are. It does not end well.

Stone Payton: So what do you enjoy doing when you’re when you’re not engaged in coaching? Anything that you kind of nerd out about that doesn’t have anything to do with the work?

Jane Bishop: You know, I, I enjoy having conversations with people, wherever that may be. On on the High Velocity, uh, podcast with the Great Stone Payton or whether it’s in line, the the local grocery store. I enjoy reading. I enjoy movies, I enjoy my yard work, I find aspects, I simply enjoy life, and I enjoy connecting with people where I am. I love to travel. I haven’t had an opportunity to do that for several years for for family reasons, but I hope to get back to that, you know, at some point in the future.

Stone Payton: Well, I think that’s marvelous. And I. I don’t know if this has been your experience or not. I may have shared with you before we came on air. For example, uh, some family members and I are going to Greece in a few weeks from when we’re doing this on air conversation, and we’ll enjoy the heck out of it, of course. But I find personally when I do that, I honestly believe with all my heart I feel like I come back a better practitioner. I feel like I come back better equipped to serve than before I left. Yes. Do you find that? Yeah.

Jane Bishop: That’s that’s very, very important. I will, I will say I don’t know your your thinking or your rationale behind the name of your podcast, High Velocity. I’d be interested in knowing what that is. Going back to your question about when you get away, you come back feeling refreshed. Yeah. If we want to maintain high velocity, in other words, be the best we can be. And to use your words to have better results in less time, we have to build in those those breaks in life. Now it could be three seconds, or it could be three hours, or it could be, you know, three weeks. However, the key is consistently doing that. We can’t go at high velocity and high octane 100% of the time without stopping to tend it along the way. So your trip that you’re doing with your family and and going to have that refreshment and that reset is is huge.

Stone Payton: I agree, and that’s a marvelous way to wrap the conversation. I was going to specifically ask you for a pro tip around producing better results in less time, and I think you just laid it on us. But I’ll give you a chance. Is there another piece of advice you might leave our listeners with? Just something to chew? You know, something to chew on and be thinking about with respect to coaching internally, getting some, getting some coaching help, engaging a coach, anything around around your body of work. Just some some things to consider or think about before we wrap.

Jane Bishop: Thank you for that opportunity, Stone. I would encourage the listeners to be very clear about the core of who they are. And I’ll the acronym of Core is your character, your operating system, your beliefs, your value system, your relationships. Are they healthy relationships or are they toxic relationships? And then the E of core is your emotional intelligence. Identifying those components within you keeps your core strong. Like our physical core that supports every part of our body so that we stay in alignment so that we can be positioned consistently to lead ourselves well, which leads others well, which creates a whole team of people in high velocity function which is better results in less time.

Stone Payton: I am so glad that I asked, and I’m even more glad that we recorded this conversation. That is marvelous. What’s the best way for our listeners to tap into your work and, you know, maybe have a conversation with you? Let’s leave them with some coordinates so they can do that.

Jane Bishop: Sure. I give anybody a free coaching conversation so you can give you the two things. You can find me at Jane Bishop Live.com or or Jane Bishop Dot. I’ve got two different places there, but I’ll just do the Jane Bishop live. That’s easier because you can get to the other one that way. And then you can find me on LinkedIn. Simply Jane Bishop, real simple. Gives you some information about the leadership. You’ll find my phone number on all of those two places. You can call me. I do answer my phone, and if I’m not available, leave a message and I will call you back. I realize that’s a little atypical in this day and time, but that’s how I roll.

Stone Payton: Oh, marvelous. Jane, it has been an absolute delight having you on the broadcast this afternoon. You’re clearly doing really important work and genuinely serving so many. Thank you. We sure appreciate you.

Jane Bishop: Oh, well, thank you for having me and allowing me a little glimpse into stone and all that you’ve got going. So you just you just keep up that high velocity and keep leading forward.

Stone Payton: I’ll sure do it. All right, until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Jane Bishop, with Take the Next Step. And everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying, we’ll see you in the fast lane.