Professional Life Coach Coach Karen Jayne

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor hear another episode of High Velocity Radio and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have Karen Jayne, who is with Coach Karen Jayne. Welcome, Karen.

Karen Jayne: Thank you.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am so excited to learn about your practice. Tell us how you serving folks.

Karen Jayne: So the main way that I serve folks these days is in helping them actually wake up to themselves more. I feel that I’ve had my own journey, and it’s through my own journey that I know how to serve other people in finding their inner joy, their inner fulfillment, and recognizing the ways that they’re actually getting in their own way because we’ve been programed to focus on external reality and try to go to the problem and change it from the problem itself, which is sort of like going to the mirror and trying to change the reflection when the truth is what’s creating a lot of the things that people are experiencing, whether it’s professionally or personally in their lives, it’s coming from an internal belief system, an internal thought process, and then it creates certain behaviors and actions from us that magnetize to us the very things that a lot of times we don’t even really want.

Lee Kantor: So why don’t we start with the journey? Do you mind sharing a little bit about your backstory and how you got to where you are?

Karen Jayne: I would love that. Thank you. Honestly, I was primarily a stay at home mother, which I loved because for me, having children was a really important part of life, and I felt like I wanted to raise my children. And as part of that, I did actually create a movement music guidance program with my sister called The Fun One Way, which teaches respect to children inside and out. The same for them to give it to themselves and to others as well. And honestly, until Covid, I actually taught that program in local preschools and kindergartens for over 20 years, and it had tremendous impact and I felt like it was life coaching for kids. So in 2008, I went through a divorce, and during that time I also recognized at that point my children were between 10 and 14, and I knew that I wanted to work more and find something meaningful, though, because raising my children had been so meaningful that I didn’t want to just go do some retail job, that I didn’t feel any kind of heart connection to. However, I had a lot of fear because this isn’t something I’d ever really other than the. I had had this part time business, which was great, but I also had always been living with a husband, and it had been a very different experience to then become a single woman.

Karen Jayne: And I remember being quite overwhelmed, even just with the protection of my children when I was alone with them. But during this time, because I became a life coach, I actually got coached during my own divorce. So I got a beautiful 360 experience of the value of what coaching can be. And it also really helped me inculcate the very practices that I was being taught. And I feel that one of the things in this school that I went to that I really resonated with was the fact that becoming a life coach, it’s really more honoring who you already are. Most coaches, this is kind of how they roll through life anyway. And one of the things that I feel over the last 17 years has really proven to be a very powerful reflection of my own growth that has magnetized to me greater success continually is the fact that I walk my own talk. I’m not asking anyone out there. I’m not coaching anyone to do anything that I am not consistently doing myself, and I feel the further I am able to bring myself to great spaces and places of my own conscious awareness around how I’m creating the life that I’m finding myself living in, and the relationships that I’m finding myself surrounding me, the more empowered I become.

Karen Jayne: And it really has been this shift from becoming a recovering people pleaser, where all my security came from, making sure everyone around me felt comfortable and satisfied. And this is part of why my first marriage didn’t work out, and we didn’t have the communication skills to be together, to be able to move into something different. And so part of going through the coaching experience, I also really honed my listening and my communication, and I started to understand a frequency in the value of the word. We speak That language carries. It casts spells. That’s why we call it spelling. And that I started to really also open up more to what I’ll refer to as spirituality. And what I mean by that is less. It’s not a religion, but it’s actually a relationship within myself to an energy that I actually believe is, I’ll call it my soul self. So it’s a it’s a part of who I am, but it’s not trapped in the physical body so that it’s not limited in some of the ways that, say, my intellectual mind or my emotional body are limited.

Lee Kantor: Can you share a little advice for people who are thinking about becoming a coach like you did, um, how you find a, um, a program you like and you kind of get certified or you work through their program and then at some point, though, you make it your own by incorporating things that you’re seeing and doing and living. Can you talk about how that comes together and becomes, you know, the coach Karen Jane methodology?

Karen Jayne: Yes. Thank you. Um, great question. Because it is a process and it is a practice, and each one of us has the chance to develop our own unique offering, and there’s room for all of us. Um, I feel like a very important component in addressing the journey is really about a shift that I went through. And I think most coaches go through of, uh, moving from what I’m going to call a lack mentality, which is based from fear versus a love mentality, an abundance mentality that’s based in trust. And this applies whether it’s personal or professional, because it becomes the motivator. And when you’re creating a business, you. When I first started out, I followed everything the coaching school suggested. And this was, you know, way back. It was a long time ago. And it was you. You want to get them for a three month commitment, and it’s every week. And this is the fee. And they can’t get out of it after the first month because the second month is is super hardest. And they’re teaching us these things to try to help us create a sustainable, functional business that we can count on. But what I started to recognize over the years was that people are different. And yes, there are consistencies among everyone, but I personally didn’t want to be running a business that was forcing people because of a commitment to continue to see me, if that’s not where they were at.

Karen Jayne: So I let that go. And part of the process of starting to let some of these external controls, we’ll call them in place that help you feel more secure in your business is by building an internal control, which is recognizing what your frequency is. Because we are energetic beings and energy is like the radio station that we’re tuned into, which is also then the kind of jobs we attract, the kind of clients we attract, how well we move into our niche. When I they do also suggest you start in a niche, and I do support that for new coaches. I think starting out in a niche that you feel confident and comfortable in, that you also feel separates you a little bit. For me, I actually chose sex for with a main focus on women connecting to their own sexual selves and finding that pleasure for themselves, and recognizing it’s a source of energy that I found a lot of women, by the time they were middle aged, married mothers with some kids were kind of not prioritizing that part of themselves in their life.

Karen Jayne: And I had a very unusual upbringing, very healthy, See where my parents are. They were married almost 68 years, and they were intimately engaging the entire time. In fact, when my father got dementia became a little bit of a problem because he kept forgetting they had just been intimate and my mother was going a little crazy. They were in their 80s at this point. So, um, I felt comfortable talking about a topic that a lot of people didn’t, and it actually led me to getting a lot of wonderful clients. And I created a workshop for women called, uh, Fanning Your Embers. And we’d give out little passport for passions, for help, to help them kind of reflect for themselves the things that they might enjoy or want to explore or put time and energy into thinking about it. Because that’s the other thing. What we focus on is what we grow. Our thoughts create, our words shape, and our feelings fuel. So what we focus on the most is what we grow the most in our life. And it’s we’re really programed to focus on what could go wrong rather than what can go right. And I’m sorry.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re talking to your clients about, uh, kind of opening up into this abundance mentality from maybe this lack mentality, can you talk about some of the exercises you do to, to at least, um, number one, to make them self-aware that maybe they weren’t, um, participating in an abundance mentality? And number two, how to kind of foster it so that it continues, it becomes the default rather than the, you know, exception to the rule.

Karen Jayne: Absolutely. I feel like the first step is that you have to actually want to start to take personal responsibility. A lot of people are so programed to external reality, and everything is about an external achievement and validation that it’s almost like if they’re not receiving it or you’re not doing it. You. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. And and I’ve actually worked with a lot of business owners, men who develop their own companies that got very successful but still were feeling a little empty inside. And I would say it’s because their driver was still fear. And so they could never truly relax into their success because they had to keep doing more and more and more. And I do believe that when you look into nature and you see the cycle, we don’t just exhale. We always must inhale as well as exhale. There’s not a lot in the business culture of rest as being valued. And so I feel like the person who’s ready to take this leap, it’s a bit of a leap to go from, I’m going to do everything I can do externally, to put everything into place so I can trust and and know that my needs are going to be met easily and my life is going to go the way I think I want it. And this is starting to actually flow with a slightly different voice that I believe we all have within us, but not many of us are choosing to actually listen to because we have two voices in our mind. And you have to want to do this work.

Karen Jayne: You want to know, are you listening to your ego mind? That is, its job is to keep you alive, fight flight free. So it’s always going to be using a lot of words. It’s going to be afraid of anything and everything that could go wrong. And in some ways, this is what keeps us looping rather than evolving on a spiral of evolution. We’re kind of looping around fear loops. So it’s it’s about saying, all right, I believe I choose, I choose to take the leap and rather than see it first and then believe it, I’m going to start tuning into my own energy. So the physical body is our tool, because it’s the only part of us that is always and only ever in the present moment. The mind, the emotional body. They can be all over the place. The past, the present, the future. The mind is never almost in the in the now. So the more we get in the now, that’s where the information that we’re actually looking for exists. Because in the now I understand it’s a it’s getting in the now and being willing. I do a lot of meditation. I actually I started chanting practice right before that actually, I believe created the inner channel for me to realize I needed to get a divorce. And then going through the divorce process, I faced a lot of my own interferes because I was alone a lot, and I was still chanting at that time, and I evolved into a very, uh, a great meditation practice. And over the course of time that has evolved as well.

Karen Jayne: And as I’ve evolved, I actually did want to mention I wrote a fun book called Three Pillows Down that won an award. Um, it’s in the relationship Category, and it’s available on Amazon Numerical three. And it’s based on the premise that how you show up in your sex life is actually an accurate reflection of how you show up in all areas of your life, and it proposes that you can change any patterns in either expression, and you will ripple it into the other area. And it does. And you don’t have to be in a relationship to be in a sex life. And so that’s kind of and it shows a life coaching journey for three months along with reflections. So that’s just kind of a sidebar of something fun. Um, and as I completed that, I also evolved where sexual energy is important and I recognize its value. But I my approach now is much more global in terms of my I’m focused more on general conscious awareness, which is how am I influencing the life I’m living based on what thoughts am I focused on most of the time? And then if I’m not feeling good inside, I know my thoughts need to be examined and then I want to trace them. What’s the truth in it? So it’s kind of a process of getting to know yourself a lot better, to the point where you’ll start to feel the minute you’re not aligned and in a peaceful place, you’ll know right away. And and then you check in with yourself as a first practice.

Lee Kantor: Now, you mentioned early on that you recommend that new coaches focus on the niche. Like you mentioned, sexuality was a niche for you when you began and now you broaden it. Can you talk about making that transition? Because in some ways, that could be scary to first be taking the leap to be a coach and then finding a niche and then going from that niche to a different or maybe a broader base. Was that transition difficult, or was this just kind of an organic evolution of your practice?

Karen Jayne: Honestly, for me, because of how I do walk my talk. I would say it was a very organic evolution because I, I recognized where all of my own self judgments were really limiting me and creating a lot of insecurities and doubts, which was then actually, um, bringing me a lot of I use my own personal life a lot as well. I am actually remarried, um, for a dozen years now, and I’m having a very different experience, and it’s supporting me tremendously in continuing to grow myself and to take personal responsibility especially. And it is scary because every time you do something different, you’re going to feel fear. And this process is scary because it’s really a process of losing what you think, who you think you are. Little by little, all these identifications and all these concepts that I thought made me important or somebody special. I’ve learned over time I. I’m actually not that and and that actually led me during Covid. I did go through a time where my business got smaller and my revenue diminished. You know, it was not a flex time for me in that regard. However, what did happen was that the universe, because that’s really what’s changed for me. I stopped only listening to the little mind in my head that I considered to be my egoic mind, who is a wonderful, beautiful aspect of me, but not my not my most wise. I won’t call her because they don’t.

Karen Jayne: It’s a limited perspective. And so, over the course of the few years of Covid, during that time, I was actually able to do even deeper inner growth and get involved in something that involves cellular reprograming and DNA recoding. And what that did was allow me, because I was working on myself as well as other people, I’m being worked on by other people to clear my body even more of a lot of what these reaction systems are that make it hard for someone to even know what’s going on for them. A lot of us are living on a lot of cortisol, and everything’s from one reaction to another. It’s from one stress to another. It’s from one fear to another or one responsibility to another. So it is a big, uh, it is a big leap. It is a big choice. When I went through my divorce, part of what I claimed was that I was going to become a variable in my own life for the first time, not just an equal sign or a plus sign or something that was serving the whole that I was a part of, because that kept me constantly needing to make sure everyone around me was okay, which I could never, never really control. And then if they weren’t okay, then I wasn’t okay. So my power was never within myself. I was not empowered. And that’s something that also organically shifts and changes.

Karen Jayne: And then I would say it’s during that reprograming time that I was and recognizing how the universe kept still providing for me and really unique and magical ways that I started to realize I don’t need to work so hard. I need to work smart. And to me, working smart is be responsible for the frequency channel that I am vibrating at, because that’s what’s going to attract to me. The thoughts are electric, but then my heart’s magnetic and that’s what’s going to attract me, what I receive. And it’s not necessarily going to be what I say. It’s going to be what I believe I’m going to get and what I believe I deserve. So self-worth is also one of those seeds that most of us also have to overcome at some point. And I believe that as a coach and someone who’s interested in being a coach, I feel like the journey within yourself really is the greatest gift of all. And you start realizing, I’m I’m here to keep growing this part of drop of life force energy that is in me. And through that, I can help the masses so much better, or serve the people that the universe conspires to bring my way. I actually just this morning received a phone call from a woman that I had met at a bar a year ago. Who wants to work with me now?

Lee Kantor: Now, can you share? Um, that’s brings up an important point.

Karen Jayne: Fun universe, right for you.

Lee Kantor: But what are some signs for a person who has never had coaching before? What are some signs that maybe coaching is the right thing for you to be doing now, to get to where you’d like to go? Are there some things that people are experiencing right before they work with you?

Karen Jayne: Definitely. When people have done their work so they can tell you, oh, you know, I was abandoned, then I was rejected. You know, I had this happen to me traumatically because a lot of us, our lives initially are kind of based upon our traumas. That’s how we show up and and protect ourselves as we move through life. Um, and so therapy is usually a great option or some kind of other support where you can start to release some of those trapped energies. But there definitely comes a point. One year, two years depends on how long, how deep, whatever you want to go. Six years. Six months. Where you don’t want to keep rehashing the same old thing. Because what you focus on is what you grow. So at some point, going into the past doesn’t serve us anymore because it literally just recreates. There’s a universal principle called the law of the circle. And I like to say, imagine every morning you wake up and there’s a whiteboard and it’s clear. And during the day, every thought you have, every word you speak, every feeling, everything conscious and unconscious gets painted on that whiteboard. And tomorrow it starts showing up in your daily life. Very often we keep seeing the same thing, and therefore we keep repainting it and wonder why it never changes. So sometimes you keep looping if you just try to, um, get Better while still rehashing all the same old stuff, because every the mind is just actually a tool for imagination. And the goal on the planet right now, I think, in a really global level, is for us to all challenge ourselves, to start using our imaginations to create the pictures of reality we desire.

Karen Jayne: Because what we’re witnessing in external reality is extreme duality, where everything is right or wrong, good or bad. I’m on this side and I’m on that side. And the truth is that we’re evolving together as an entire humanity. And what we’re evolving into, I believe, is unity consciousness, which is a next level of conscious awareness, where we start to recognize an underlying oneness of all life, which allows us to also value the what we deem as opposites right now and actually are truly polarity, because polarity is required for energy to create. And so if we can start to create more space for the diversity and celebration of uniqueness amongst all of us, rather than this concept that there’s a mainstream normal and we all want to be it, I think that we would really blossom and people could use their imaginations in much more creative and fun and contributing ways. And when we’re not at war within ourselves, and we set ourselves free to kind of be our unique selves, I don’t think anyone’s going to show up for war out there anymore. But I do believe that the frequency of war exists in people still, which is why it’s still existing in external reality, which, as I kind of mentioned, that beginning is just a shadow reflection of what all of us are doing on the planet right now.

Lee Kantor: And if somebody wants to learn more about your practice or get on your calendar, is there a website or is there a best way to connect?

Karen Jayne: Yes, definitely. There is a website. Dot com. I also just. Email is at dot com and just shoot me an email. Mention you heard me on business radio and uh that would be wonderful.

Lee Kantor: And that’s coach k e n j a y n e.com.

Karen Jayne: Yes. Thank you so much for reiterating that.

Lee Kantor: Well, Karen, thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Karen Jayne: Thank you very much, Lee. I really appreciate this opportunity to come on and chat with you.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.