Leading with Heart: Transforming Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Stone Payton: Welcome to the High Velocity Radio show, where we celebrate top performers producing better results in less time. Stone Payton here with you this afternoon. Please join me in welcoming to the broadcast with Dr. Julie Donley LLC, the lady herself, Julie Donley. How are you?

Dr. Julie Donley: I’m doing great, Stone. Thanks so much for having me. I’m excited to be here.

Stone Payton: Well, I’m excited to have you on the show. I’ve got a ton of questions. Uh, I think I’ll start with this one, though. Uh, how would you describe briefly? Mission. Purpose? What you’re really out there trying to do for folks, Julie?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah. So my mission is to help leaders be their best so that they can help other people be their best. Um, I really passionate about developing good and positive leadership experiences. And, you know, so that’s what I’m all about, making the world just a little bit better place.

Stone Payton: So what is the primary medium or mechanism for the work? Are you working with individuals, groups, speaking, writing or a little bit of all of that?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah, all of it. Yeah, you nailed it. So I am a leadership coach. I’ve been coaching for 20 years, 20 plus years. And, um, I work primarily with leaders. I also am an author. I’ve written just my third book in about six months ago. It’s called leading at the Speed of People. And, uh, I am excited about that. I have a couple more books up my sleeve, so I’ll be working on those in the coming years. And I do speaking, I do individual coaching and I do group coaching. So it’s exactly what you said. All of the above.

Stone Payton: So I’m getting a little experience here because we’re doing this coaching series, and I guess some of it’s rubbing off on me. At least I know the big the big buckets, I guess.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah.

Stone Payton: So I, I really do want to dive into this, uh, third book. But before we go there, I would be interested to know and I know our listeners will as well. What compelled you to write books in the first place, and maybe speak a little bit to the the process of sitting down, committing your ideas to paper, putting it out there for the world to enjoy, maybe poke at what was that process like for you?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah. Oh, that’s such a great question, Stone. Um, so for me, my first book, I just felt like I had so much to say. I, I had a really rough time coming out of childhood. My parents divorced at a very pivotal moment in my life, and really, I hadn’t had parenting in several years, so I really had been on my own since I was like 12. Um, in the home with them until my dad left. And so I, you know, childhood was hard. And then coming, coming out of childhood, I should say as a young adult, I had no support whatsoever. And so when I finally kind of got settled and became a nurse and had some career and had some stuff behind my some life experience out there where I kind of had my crap together. Um, I, you know, I’d been writing for publications, so it wasn’t like I hadn’t written, and I just had a lot that I wanted to pull together about, you know, and for that book, that first book, which is called The Journey Called You. It’s really a book about self-awareness. How do you become okay being you in a world that is constantly telling you who to be and how to be and all of that. And so that’s what that book is, um, this latest book. And of course, I’ve been writing for years. I mean, I wrote I have had several columns for publication and a newsletter and, um, so I’m kind of think that way.

Dr. Julie Donley: That’s how my brain works. Uh, this latest book, similar to the first, it was like I have been coaching for over 20 years. I have been I spent almost a decade as a leader in healthcare, as a director of nursing. And so I wanted to pull together a philosophy, my philosophy of leadership, because we seem to have gotten off track with how we function in the workplace, with the levels of burnout and stress. And, you know, people are just so unhappy, and it doesn’t have to be that way. And so, um, so that’s what compelled me to write this book. And again, I have some other books. I have some things I want to say to help people to navigate this life knowing better, more confident about their choices and their path. And so. So that’s what it’s like for me. I can’t speak for anybody else. Um, when I dive into a project, a writing project, I do have a process that I follow. And so, yeah, and that excites me. It I think writing more than any other activity is where I find flow, and flow is, you know, where you just I sometimes feel like I’ve plugged into the universe and there’s just this stream of consciousness working through me, and I love it. I just love it.

Stone Payton: So do you find in your writing and maybe in your speaking, but we’ll confine it to writing for the moment that, while it’s certainly no doubt is serving other people, do you find that going through that exercise also kind of solidifies your thinking, helps you crystallize your thinking, helps you articulate some ideas and you come out of that process, maybe even a better practitioner and even more equipped to serve people, because you took the time to sort of really think it through and explain it in a way that the most people can understand it in the most beneficial way.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yes. Thank you. That is exactly correct. I mean, we write books for ourselves too, because we do change in the process. We change a lot. And, um, so absolutely, it, it, uh, it solidifies your thinking. It makes things come together. All of this stuff that all this information that I’ve collected after all these years, and it just kind of brings all of that together. And if you have a question, I do the research and I find out, um, so yeah. And I just love that process of learning and, and growing and teaching others what I’ve learned.

Stone Payton: Well, I know you’re a life learner because I was, uh, stalking you a little bit earlier in the week, because I knew I was going to get a chance to have this conversation. And you’ve got a doctorate in organizational leadership. You have an MBA. You’re professionally credentialed coach. Uh, I mean, you you are definitely a life learner, aren’t you?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yes, I am, and I the things is, you know, knowing ourselves. Well, I mean, that’s the path that I’m on, right? It was my first book. Um, but I think one of the things that I do is that because I love to learn, I love to know stuff. Um, I’d like to pull all that, those things together and simplify the complex, all that stuff which gives people the gift of clarification. You know, other people are interested in other things. They don’t go to the lengths that I go to to learn what I, you know, am interested in. And I don’t go to the lengths that they do. So I read other people’s stuff. Right. And I think, um, That’s what I feel like is part of my gift, is just clarifying these topics for people and making it more digestible and easy to understand.

Stone Payton: I learned so much in these conversations and I just wrote this down. The gift of clarification. Um, so you may hear that phrase on the air and I’ll try to give you credit, but, you know, over time I might just say, you know, like I always say. No, that’s fantastic. All right. Let’s talk about this book a little bit. What are some of the the key topics that stand out, uh, for you that, that you knew you wanted to include in this because you were seeing it reflected in the work?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah. So. Well, there’s a couple, right? Um, the first of which is that, um, people are stressed, and so it, I wanted to find a way to speak to, um, how leaders can make life less lust, or work less stressful for themselves and for those around them. And in the book I speak about that as reducing friction. All of the things that get in the way, or make it difficult for people to just do their greatest work, right. If that’s the mission, is to for leaders to help other people do their best work and unleash their potential, then we have to make it easier for them to do that through training and resources and whatever those things are. Um, but in order to get to that, we I had I started the book talking about the issues of the day. Right. This how we learn how to become leaders, leaders. Leadership is a skill set that we’re often not taught how to do. And if we are taught how to do it, we happen to have a mentor. We still have to do trial and error because what works for one person, we have to adapt it to. We have our own style, but a lot of people are promoted because, hey, that sounds like a good idea. And so we wind up with these huge gaps in our knowledge of how to lead well.

Dr. Julie Donley: And a lot of leadership is I mean, yes, there’s a specific skill set, but it’s also contextual, right? It depends on the context and the industry. And you know, how you adapt to the and the level of leadership you’re in. And so I speak to that as well. Leadership starts with leading yourself. And if you’re not able to lead yourself well then it makes it harder for other people to want to follow you. So so that’s how I start the book. Then I dive into that friction, because that is a big part of we want to eliminate the friction points that we may be contributing to. I do speak to toxic leadership or ineffective leadership and how, um, that creates friction. So part of our job is to make sure that we’re not we’re not contributing to people’s difficult stress and their friction that they’re experiencing at work. And then we move into work environment. In the last part of the book, I introduced the Care Leadership model, which is a model that I actually wrote about like 18 years ago and published. And when I wrote it at the time, I’m like, oh, this is a book. This is good, you know? But the care leadership model is Care is an acronym for communication, appreciation, respect and empathy.

Dr. Julie Donley: And so there’s chapters on each of those things. And um, in order to be a great leader, we have to care to connect. And these are the ways in which we do that we have we have to recognize that we’re not leading, uh, robots. Although today, with artificial intelligence, there’s a lot of that in the workplace. But that does not, um, eliminate our need to recognize that people are people and we’re messy, and we have emotions, and we need to we want to feel a certain way when we come to work. People want to feel seen and valued and they want to be heard. Uh, they want to matter. And so we need to find ways to be much more people centered at work. And that is the goal of the book. So it’s written in a coaching approach. You know, I’ve been coaching for for 20, over 20 years. And when I went back to the workforce full time to be a director of nursing, I brought those coaching skills with me into that leadership role. And, um, that really informed my leadership strategy, because I already understood the idea of using coaching. And, um, you know, as a leader.

Stone Payton: That mental imagery of reducing friction. I find that very helpful because I have to believe, while certainly having an opportunity to practice leadership skills in a safe environment, learn new strategies, and that kind of thing would be incredibly powerful. I have to believe if I did nothing else tomorrow, but just wake up and say, okay, I’m leading this organization. Whatever I do today, I am going to focus it on reducing friction for the people in my organization so they can do the best job possible. I got to believe that would really move the needle just in and of itself. Just the the intent.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yep. Yep. You’re absolutely right. If you did nothing else. Like if you’re having a really bad day and you just want to keep your head down, if you could find one thing to make life easier for the people who work for you, you would be. You make their day. And, uh. And we don’t realize how many things, like, we have these grand visions, we have these grand strategic plans, but it is the simplest of things that can matter the most and make the experience of coming to work every day much more enjoyable. And, um, and they can be more productive if you just take away this one piece, you know, the equipment doesn’t work or, and a lot of this stuff I discovered in my own leadership. So, for instance, I remember one of the nurses, we had several nursing stations on a particular campus. And so one day the nurse comes down and she’s looking for something. I forget what it was, but maybe it was a pulse ox or something. And she’s like, where’s the pulse ox? And they didn’t remember which nursing station had it last. And she’s like, ready to run to the I mean, like, it took her an hour to find. I don’t even remember if she actually found it. And I turned to the lead nurse and I said, you know, make every single nursing station redundant.

Dr. Julie Donley: You should have five. If you have five nursing stations, there should be at least five of those. You know, of any piece of equipment that you need. That’s within reason. If it was really expensive, we might have one local place, but. And she to me, like I had three heads because nobody had given her permission prior to that. And it made sense, but nobody had given her permission to spend the money and do that. I mean, this wasn’t an expensive item, so they did. And over time, they they learned that that was what I was there to do. And that is part of our job as leaders is to because they don’t know. They’re just trying to do the best they can to take care of or do take care of the customer, or in my case, take care of the patients. Right. Um, so I went looking for ways to make life easier. And that was one of the things just making sure each of the nursing stations were properly equipped. So you’re not running all over the place wasting time and energy on just looking for something that you need to be able to provide high quality care. I mean, it was just to me it was a no brainer, but there were so many things like that that it really did make a difference over time.

Stone Payton: This is a little bit of a tangent, maybe, but, uh, it’s it’s it’s on my mind because I was invited to do a prerecorded little segment on utilizing AI to automate workflows for Or podcasting. And you know, I’m not an AI expert by any means. But as I got to talking with Lee, my business partner, and looking at our processes, we’re starting to play around with AI some and it’s already making an impact. Is AI touching your world at all these days?

Dr. Julie Donley: So that’s very interesting. And um, well, yes. Yes. And and a little no. So, um, as a writer, I like coming up with my own ideas, and I like, um, so. And I love to write, but I have begun writing with AI, like, I use AI to help bounce ideas and, um, even edit my work, which is great because it’ll put things in the right places. Sometimes I, you know, but so it saves me a lot of time. However, the big thing about AI where I can help the most is in automating repetitive tasks. Like, I wish we had artificial intelligence when I was working as director of nursing, because we would put together these long job aids to provide instructions. Again, we had I had, what, nine, seven nursing stations across three campuses. I mean, I had to like and then work around the clock to. So how do you train everybody without going to every single person and training them? And so we created job Aids, which you could do. I mean, I could have done that in an hour on using AI. It took us hours to put these together. And so those are the there’s going to be wonderful things happening with AI. But what it will not replace is the human part of work, the emotional labor.

Dr. Julie Donley: So dealing they don’t talk back. There’s no conflict with the machine. So dealing with conflict, any kind of dealing with people, they don’t suffer traumatic reactions. Right. They don’t have emotional outbursts. Well people do. And so all of the even politics at work. Um, so all of those things, growth and development, they still require people to be part of it. So in coaching, we are there are some advancements in, um, artificial intelligence for both therapy that’s new. Um, you know, they’re trying to to see if they can use artificial intelligence as a therapist, like a therapist adjunct. And the same thing is happening with with coaching as well. Um, I’m not involved in that. I haven’t chosen to get myself involved in that. But, um, but I am using I am using some artificial intelligence for the writing and just again, for more editing purposes. Um, you do have to be careful in my line of work because it removes all human emotion. Like it’s not a human. So it just gives you facts and, um, takes away your personality and that kind of thing. So, uh, so that’s what’s happening for me. Yeah.

Stone Payton: You touched on it briefly early in our conversation, but I’d like to dive a little bit deeper if we could. Your journey, your backstory. How did you arrive and end up doing this kind of work?

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah. So my, you know, so my first job in healthcare, I, I, um, I mentioned that I really didn’t know what I was going to do when I grew up and struggled a little bit coming out of my, um, my youth. And so, um, my first degree was in business. I had no idea what I was doing with my life. And then I decided I was going to become a nurse. And a friend said to me, hey, there’s this new adolescent unit that just opened on this site, in this psychiatric hospital right down the street. And so he said, you should apply. So I did, and that was my first job in healthcare. So I, um, I started in psych and I loved it. I worked with kids and adolescents. Um, and it was wonderful. However, it was a really toxic work environment. It was not good and the leader was like the worst kind of leader you could imagine. And she didn’t communicate well. She was she was not a nurse. She was an administrator of the unit, which probably was part of the problem. She didn’t really understand nursing. And even, you know, the the techs, the people that worked with the nurses and, um, that experience really fueled, um, my desire to learn leadership. So I became a nurse. I went on to leave that place and went to another place. And I was always just fascinated in how leaders impacted the work environment and how that work environment would create results for us, either satisfaction in the, you know, for the employees or, you know, disengagement. And like that first experience. It was we had a lot of turnover. People were very disgruntled. And you know, I, I thought, why are the leaders letting this happen? Like who’s coaching her, you know? But anyway, so that fueled my interest in learning about leadership.

Dr. Julie Donley: I got my master’s, and then I wound up getting laid off three times in a row. And that third time. And I was a single mom back then. And that third time came right after I got my master’s. And that’s during that time period I found coaching. It was in 2001. And so it was a very early, you know, people weren’t coaching was new. And that’s when I started coaching back then. And so that’s sort of how I got interested in in all this stuff. And yeah, both leaders leading and coaching. Coaching was a great match for me because I’d already been in psych. And um, so in psych, you’re dealing with people who have become who have tipped right that that, you know, there’s so many people, um, who are struggling with addiction and depression and anxiety and other mental disorders, right? But they tip and they wind up in a mental hospital. Most people don’t. But because I had that experience, I’ve always been fascinated with people and I’m very compassionate. So I really that was a really good fit for me. And so when I transitioned to coaching, it was great because you’re dealing with people who are functioning, they’re great. They’re out there doing wonderful things and they want to do more. They want to do better and be better. And so it was really a natural progression for me to move from the psychiatric arena into the coaching arena, as a lot of therapists, actually, a lot of therapists do as well, because it’s a it’s a it’s a good fit on that continuum of, you know, just working with people.

Stone Payton: So in the early days of that transition, was the was the business side of coaching a little bit challenging, like just the sales and marketing and getting the business and taking care of all the business stuff. But you’ve also got to get out there and practice your craft. Was that a little tough to navigate in the early going, or did it come pretty easy?

Dr. Julie Donley: Uh, yeah, it still is. You know, but I mean, you know, I did have an MBA. I had a actually a bachelor’s in business and a and a master’s in business. So I kind of understood how to run a business. And you learn. Right. And that certainly that helped me when I became a director of nursing because I was kind of on my own. It was my own department, and I didn’t I didn’t report to a nurse. I reported to an executive director who didn’t know anything about nursing. I mean, you know. Right. So you wind up, um, transferring those skills into your life experience, you know, into your life. So, yeah, I mean, and I think that’s some people who start their business sort of forget. And the way I talk about this is there are three areas of focus. If you want to go into business for yourself, the first of which is you need to be an expert or develop that expertise in whatever it is you’re in, in whatever it is you want to deliver. So if you’re an accountant, you need to be a good accountant, right? If you’re a coach like me, I needed to get trained and I have my certification.

Dr. Julie Donley: I have a lot of certifications. Um, so you need that. But then you also need those business skills. You need to understand marketing and accounting. And how are you going to make those sales and what’s your plan going to be? What’s your strategic plan. All of that good stuff. But the third circle in a Venn diagram, if you wanted to put it together like that, is the, um, your personal development, because you will grow tremendously along the way. You still have to manage yourself. You need to learn how to manage your emotions. How are you going to stay focused? Um, you know, shiny object syndrome. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that. It’s where we get very distracted from our core business strategies. Businesses do this as well, and it’s not good at all. We don’t want to be distracted. So, um, so all of those things that to develop ourselves, we need to work on as well when we go into business for ourselves.

Stone Payton: So yes, on the definite yes on the shiny object thing. Uh, that is definitely one of my downfalls.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah, it’s very easy. And that’s why you asked me about, like, artificial intelligence. Yes. I am learning about artificial AI. I am scanning the environment to know what’s out there, what’s available, and I’m using it in to the extent that I feel appropriate, it’s appropriate for what I want to do. But because my focus is people about dealing with people, um, and, um, there’s not quite the fit for me to invest my time and energy into learning more about, at least not right now. And one of the topics of conversations that I’ve been having recently with leaders and other, um, professionals is this very topic, the the topic of AI. The introduction of AI into the workplace and the stress that people are experiencing with that in relation to that. So, um, yeah, I mean, knowing your limits, knowing what you can, what the organization you’re working for, what they, um, what are their boundaries around the use of AI in the workplace and how are they, um, are they teaching people how to use it, how they want it to be used? But, um, some people are jumping in there and getting excited and trying it out, and other people are scared and people don’t like change. So you have all of these factors. And again, these are people trying to use AI. So this is not an AI thing. You can’t you can’t. This isn’t robots. These are people. And you have all this messiness around around change and around new new processes and how well we’re communicating. And most companies don’t communicate that well. So I’m sure that that is contributing to the messiness of the introduction of AI into the workplace as well.

Stone Payton: Well, I can see one of the reasons you must be so effective in your work. I think your nursing background just had to contribute tremendously. Now, my, um, frame of reference for nursing or healthcare for that matter, is pretty much confined to what I see on on television. But I will say, even with that lens, it looks to me like the perfect breeding ground for stress and, and burnout and, and that kind of thing. I had not thought about a connection between AI and that being a stressor, but having that all that experience must really serve you well.

Dr. Julie Donley: I think so. I it’s one of the best decisions I ever made. One of them was to become a nurse. And, uh, and I loved working in psych. I mean, I’m retired now. I don’t I don’t work in the fields anymore. And I doubt I’ll go back. Um, but, um, it was a great career. And, uh, and today I’m really focused on bringing what I learned in those, um, during those psych years to the forefront. Because, like I said, I think it’s like 1 in 6 Americans struggle with some sort of mental health diagnosis. And there are many, many people struggling with, um, anxiety, depression, addiction, we know is a huge problem. And so, um, yeah, how do we function in our day to day? How do we work in the workplace alongside people who are struggling to they’re struggling as well. And again, AI is not going to fix that for us. We have to do that. That’s part of being human and learning to be good with other humans and navigate that emotional landscape.

Stone Payton: So I’m going to switch gears on you for a moment, if I might, because I’m genuinely interested and I think our listeners probably would be as as well. What do you do when you’re not coaching? Speaking, writing? What passions, interests, hobbies do you pursue outside the scope of this work?

Dr. Julie Donley: Well, I bet you can guess. I love to read.

Stone Payton: Yeah.

Dr. Julie Donley: But, uh. But yeah. So some of my favorite things, uh, besides just hanging out with my husband and family and the dog. Uh, we like to ride motorcycles. I learned to ride a motorcycle about six years ago, so I am loving that at this time of my life. Um, obviously have some kids, and and I just had, um, my one son had a baby, so I’m a new grandmom, and I love that. And, uh. Yeah. And I’m a big Grateful Dead fan. So 40 years. I mean, I’ve been listening to them since I was a teenager, so just got back from Vegas and and seeing the the dead and company in, um, in the sphere, which was so fun. I, uh, yeah, I got my husband into them too. So we have we have a great time doing that. And, you know, we just like to hang out. We like barbecues, we like hanging with our friends, and we love travel. So the more we can do that, we’re we, uh, we’ve really been enjoying that in this time in our lives.

Stone Payton: I love asking that question. You can learn so much about a person when you ask them that question, and it sounds delightful. Uh, before we wrap, I would love to leave our listeners with a little piece of counsel or advice. I call it a pro tip, kind of related to some of these topics that we’ve been talking, uh, about. You know, something for them to be thinking about, maybe it’s it’s reading and looking. The number one pro tip I have for you, uh, if any of this conversation is striking a chord for for you, uh, my pro tip is, uh, pick up the phone or get on the computer. Reach out and have a conversation with with Doctor Julie. But let’s leave them with a little something to chew on.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah, well, I think what I, what I would suggest is to look for the friction in your life because that really does lift your spirits. And so if there’s something at work that’s challenging, if there’s something that even someone is doing, you know, there are lots of things that you probably don’t even you’ve just learned to accept as is. But, you know, we don’t need to settle. We can we can. We have a lot more power to create our life experience the way we want it to be. So that would be the tip of the day, I think, given our conversation. And of course, if you’re looking for some assistance with that, you know, pick up a copy of one of my books, the latest of leading at the Speed of People, which, as I mentioned, is a people focused, a people centered approach to leadership. The coaching approach.

Stone Payton: All right. So what is the best way for our listeners to tap into your word. Get their hands on this book. Maybe have that conversation with you website whatever coordinates are appropriate.

Dr. Julie Donley: Yeah. Yeah. Well I kept it simple. It’s just my name. So it’s doctor Julie Donnelly. Comm. Um, email. It’s info at doctor Julie donnelly.com. Just spell the name. Right? Right. It’s, uh, it’s real simple. It’s d o n l e y is my last name. And I’m sure you’ll have that listed, uh, in the, um, in the information for this show, and, um, you know, so visit me online and send me an email and my, my phone number’s on the website, so feel free to reach out if I can be of service or assist you in some way. I’m, um, you can you can reach out for if you’re looking for a speaker as well. So I’m happy to be of service in some way. If you think of something here resonated with you.

Stone Payton: Doctor Julie, it has been an absolute delight having you on the program this afternoon. I’ve learned a ton. I know our listeners have as well. You’re clearly passionate and committed to to serving people, and we sure appreciate you.

Dr. Julie Donley: Oh, thank you so much for having me. It’s really been a pleasure chatting with you today. And, uh, yeah, I’m really excited to make some changes and and help people along the way. So thank you so much for having me and really grateful.

Stone Payton: My pleasure. All right. Until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Doctor Julie Donnelly and everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying we’ll see you in the fast lane.