Executive Business and Leadership Coach Michelle Cox

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Stone Payton: Welcome to the High Velocity Radio show, where we celebrate top performers producing better results in less time. Stone Payton here with you this afternoon and this is going to be a good one. Please join me in welcoming to the Broadcast executive, business and leadership coach, Michelle Cox. How are you?

Michelle Cox: I’m doing fantastic. Thank you.

Stone Payton: Oh, man, I got so much. I want to talk about a ton of questions, but maybe to begin with give us a little bit of an overview. How are you out there helping folks, Michelle?

Michelle Cox: Yeah. So I work with executives, usually at director or above level and really looking at elevating their leadership. And I find that there’s a huge correlation to your leadership as well as your role. They go hand in hand. So if you’re looking to go to the next level, then it’s let’s start with your leadership. How are you leading.

Stone Payton: When you’re getting your arms around that and trying to help them think through it? Or I’m sure the answer is yes, but I’m going to ask anyway. Are you seeing some patterns, like what are some of the most prevalent things that you feel like are maybe are holding some of these leaders back?

Michelle Cox: I would say that one of the areas that I see the most is that the higher you go within an organization or and quite frankly, if you’re a business owner in itself, the that you aren’t receiving feedback, you get less and less and less feedback. And so you you lose that sense of awareness. Where do exactly do I need to work? Where do where do I need to grow and develop? What’s what is impacting my team? What’s impacting my peers? And that is a huge piece of it. You think you’re doing really good, and then all of a sudden it’s like, well, are you? Let’s kind of dig in and see, are you doing as good as you either think you’re doing or as other people are quote unquote, telling you you’re doing?

Stone Payton: Well, it’s an excellent point, because I guess many of us have heard the saying that it’s lonely at the top, but I guess the dynamics are such that just that’s just the way things are. It is lonely, at least in terms of getting candid, practical feedback that you can turn around and learn from and act on, isn’t it?

Michelle Cox: Yes it is. As an example, I spoke with an executive this morning and he’s like, yeah, I don’t really receive feedback anymore. And he he said to me, he was like, you know, I might get maybe you might want to say something like this or say something like that, but it’s not that elevated type of here’s a trend I’m seeing. This is what’s going to take you to the next level and having a different type of conversation with somebody at that level.

Stone Payton: So what is the key? And I you know, I certainly don’t expect you to try to reduce your work to a cosmopolitan article, but is is part of the key to to opening this vault up, equipping them to ask questions of the people around them in such a way and in such an environment that they will get that feedback. Or what’s the what’s the master key, you think?

Michelle Cox: Well, obviously hiring a coach like me is fantastic. Not to put not not to put a plug in there for myself now, but honestly hiring an external point of view so you’re able to get back because somebody externally is able to see the trends and see it, they’re not attached to whatever it is you’re doing. So they’re they’re the people that are going to provide you that type of honest feedback, because they have no skin in the game other than to make you successful and help you be successful. The second piece is Cases like you had said, asking powerful questions. If someone if you’re asking your team, hey, is there anything else I can do to help you if you’re stopping at that question when they say no, you’re doing great, but you need to take that question a step further. What’s one thing I can do that will truly support you in what you’re up to, whether it be your professional development goals, whether it be your, um, your personal goals, whatever that looks. What’s one thing? And usually when you’re asking that question, someone’s like, well, I could think of one thing that you can do to support me differently. So it’s starting to peel back the onion just a tad bit. And if they’re not providing you anything, keep asking, don’t wait. And don’t just look for your team or your boss. Look at your peers. Look all around you.

Stone Payton: The the first time a leader exhibits that behavior is probably. It might feel a little bit clunky, but I bet with a little bit of repetition, repetition, and with a and maintaining the discipline to make it as safe an environment as possible to have that conversation, I bet it is truly powerful and pays some real dividends.

Michelle Cox: It does, it does. And I would say that you’re you’re right. It is a little bit from an executive. When you first start having that conversation, part of it is prefacing, listen, I want you to be successful and I really want to set you up for success. And I’m not perfect. I have blind spots, just like you have blind spots, or anybody else in this world has blind spots. And so I really want to find out what my blind spots are so I can enable you. And when you make it about you, not about them, like, hey, you know, there’s that correlation. So I want to support you. And it’s also saying I’m going to have a vulnerable conversation with you. And really exposed myself to say, I’m open, I want to grow, I want to develop. And your feedback is helping me do that too.

Stone Payton: So what’s the backstory, Michelle? How did you get involved with with coaching?

Michelle Cox: You know, initially I was part of an amazing organization and they really focused on developing their leaders. Their their business model was if you take if you develop your leaders, they’re going to develop your employees. Employees are going to take care of your customers. And at the end of the day, that’s going to drive business results. So they really set up that structure where I was getting constant, constant development as a leader. And as the years went on, I was with the organization for 16 years and the initial CEO, he retired. And so when he retired, new CEO comes in, they have a new philosophy and you start seeing some of the structures start going like further and further away. So I decided to go out and find my own, let me find my own leadership development and growth. How do I help all the people I’m working with? How do I help my team the most? How do I continue to develop? And I was working with all executives inside our organization as well as outside our organization. So I found an executive coaching and leadership development. I had no intention of becoming an executive coach.

Michelle Cox: That wasn’t necessarily what I went in there for, which people always laugh at because I was like, I didn’t go in there saying, hey, I want to become a coach. And I was one of 20 people that was in that room that said, I’m not here to become a coach. I have no ambition to become a coach. And in that program, I had my own coach and I, my sister passed away three months into it and it really started shifting my perspective of how how you can support a leader, how you support somebody who is has a lot of circumstances going on, whether it be personal or professional circumstances and supporting them despite to move forward, despite what’s happening and really grow from it. And it completely shifted my perspective. And that was a turning point for me. So year in, I was coaching and I’ve been coaching for the last ten years or 11 years, actually just had my 11th anniversary and I’ve been on my own for over eight years now. So it’s it’s just kind of a marriage made in heaven here.

Stone Payton: Well, and you, you not only had to build out this practice and continue to hone your craft, but the. Oh, by the way, you got to learn how to run a business too, right?

Michelle Cox: Yeah, very much so. Very much so that that was definitely a learning curve. Definitely a learning curve for me.

Stone Payton: Was it tough in the early going getting the new work like finding the people or creating an environment where they would find you. I mean, I’m sure you’ve cracked that code in the last 11 years, but maybe in the beginning.

Michelle Cox: Uh, definitely difficult. I would say that for for me, I started building my practice while I was still in corporate, so it was in tandem. So I get them together and I because I was working with executives already, it was my niche that I hadn’t said, oh, I’m this is my niche at that point in time. But that was who I was working with. So when I was telling them what I was up to, they’re like, oh, I could really use a coach. And so it was sort of naturally being that some of the people I was working with professionally wanted to hire me for coaching and developing, and so that’s kind of where my practice was bred from and started building from there. Now, I won’t say it’s all sunshine and glory, right? It’s not all sunshine and roses. I and you know, and I’ve hired I’ve always throughout the last 11 years I’ve had my own coach, and so I’m ensuring that I’m okay. If I’m saying everybody can use a coach, I’m modeling that behavior for people I’m working with. So it and hiring another coach, like ensuring that I’m leveling up my skill set in marketing business. How do I go to sales? How do I go to market? All of those different pieces of the puzzle has really been key for me in order to grow my business.

Stone Payton: So over a decade in now, and I’m sure this has changed some over the course of you building out this practice. But what are you finding the most rewarding at this point in your career? What do you what’s the most fun about it for you these days?

Michelle Cox: Oh gosh. So my why I will say this my why behind working with executives is really clean. I want to create a trickle effect within organizations, within businesses. So if I’m working with an executive leader that what I’m teaching that person. They’re taking that and they’re pushing it down throughout their entire team, organization, what have you to their peers. And that’s my why. And that’s what drives me. And when I see an executive that’s moving forward, I see an executive that wants to get promoted. They get promoted. I see an executive that was working 80 hours a week and they’re like, Michel, I’m I’m no longer working 80 hours a week, and they’re down to a manageable time frame that they’re working. They’re taking vacations, and the other piece is taking care of themselves. I see so many executives that don’t take care of themselves and when I can, and they go hand in hand. How you take care of yourself is how you can take care of others. And ultimately, all of those pieces. Every time my client has a win, that’s a win for me.

Stone Payton: So say a little bit more about the what’s the right word? The the execution mechanism. Like how does the work take place? Is that a lot of one on one? Is there group work? Is there asynchronous work? I don’t know, maybe a little bit of all of it. Huh.

Michelle Cox: Well, I do all one on one in my coaching practice as it stands today. Uh, saying that there won’t be something different in the future. However, right now I found that there is a level of vulnerability and intimacy that comes when you are having that type of conversation with somebody, and you really want that person to open up, and you want to save space where you know that you can say whatever it is and that person’s not judging you. And that’s the environment that I create for my clients.

Stone Payton: Well, it’s incredible to me. I continue to find it fascinating. You know, we’ve been doing this coaching series for a little while now, and that does seem to be a theme of, um, creating a safe environment that is, uh, the level of trust that you have to create to, to provide for that vulnerability. Where you can really do that work is um, it strikes me that’s probably something you had developed well before you sort of went out on your on your own, but is are strategies and tactics and disciplines and those kinds of things. Is that part of why you chose to be formally credentialed and go through that, uh, that certification process.

Michelle Cox: With the International Coaching Federation?

Michelle Cox: Yeah, I wouldn’t say that. That’s the reason why, um, that I chose to get my credentials. However, for me, it was how do I ensure that I, I’m able to provide the best coaching possible and how do I continue to develop and all of those when I went out and got my credentials, you’re taking testing, you’re going through you’re having recordings evaluated. So you’re really going through a next level of development, even for yourself. And so that’s the reason why I chose to do it, is to ensure that I was able to provide my clients the best possible experience that they could have.

Stone Payton: So in the work, you know, you touched on early on when I was asking about kind of what it’s like the main thing that holds leaders back are you also, do you ever come across folks that are having a little bit of a challenge leading all these different variations in the same workplace? I certainly hear a lot about that. But is that is that real? Is that something that leaders are struggling with?

Michelle Cox: There are a lot of different variations. Yes there are. I mean, you think about there’s hybrid, there’s in-person, there’s there’s fully remote. There’s all sorts of different environments that are set up today. And so like physical location is one of the challenges, especially if you’ve never done it before. If all of a sudden you’ve been leading for the last 20 years in an environment that you’ve been face to face and now it’s 100% remote, and you would think that five years into being remote, that leaders have that skill set, but they don’t always they fall back. A lot of leaders fall back on. Well, this is what I know. And so I want my team together. I can’t get X if I don’t if I’m not in person, which or I can’t get Y, it doesn’t matter what it is. Don’t get me wrong, I love being in person. I love being able to see people in person. And I also think you can facilitate relationships. You can build a team, a cohesive team environment, even if you’re not. And so a lot of it is mindset and shifting that mindset.

Stone Payton: So you yes, you have these different environments. You’ve got another layer of this is, I’m sure, communication styles, generations. I mean, it’s a pretty it’s a Rubik’s cube. It’s not just a flat map, is it?

Michelle Cox: It is not. It is not. There are like so many different components go into being a leader, much like you said, generational leadership. Um, and a lot of that is, you know, we talk about communication, we talk about generation. And the interesting, most interesting part about it is if we think about communication or we think about generational leadership at the root of everything, it’s what type of relationship have I created with the person? How well do I know them? At what level do I know? How do they prefer to receive communication? How do they prefer to send communication? How do they prefer and really understanding who they are? What’s their what do they love that what are they passionate about and what the sooner you get to know that individual, that’s how you like. You get rid of the oh, they’re this generation or they’re that generation, and you start removing some of the the different challenges that you think that are sitting out there. They’re not really sitting out there. It’s just asking enough questions and getting underneath and building that relationship one on one with that person to know what the answers are. So you can work most effectively both ways, and it takes you to adjusting that. You can’t just say, this is how I do it, and this is the only way. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to adjust to your team as well.

Stone Payton: Okay, let’s talk about me for a minute. It’s my show.

Michelle Cox: No, sorry. I just went on and on. No, no.

Stone Payton: No, I’m saying that tongue in cheek, because as as I hear you describe this process, I’m kind of putting myself in the trying to in the shoes of a of a client. And I can see me working with you getting some tremendous insight. And then in a safe environment, being willing to take some risks, try some new things, and then and then go out and try on some of these new behaviors and then and then come back to you and, and share with you what I experienced. Um, but it also, it also strikes me as something that’s not just something I try on a Tuesday and then come back and all right, we got we checked that one off the list. Right? I mean, it’s a it’s an ongoing iterative process I’m sure.

Michelle Cox: Yeah it is, it is. And there’s multiple different practices that I’ll or actions and practices. And it’s like a layer upon layer building exercise. It’s not just a one and done. And a lot of times I will if you look at a person, how they’re doing something in their professional life, a lot of times they’re doing the same thing in their personal life.

Stone Payton: Ah.

Michelle Cox: And so when you start looking at the human combine and you really say, well, let’s just practice this in a safe environment at home. And they start getting reflections at home. They’re like, oh my gosh, I’m doing this at home. I’m doing it at work. It’s something that’s showing up everywhere. So it’s as soon as you start getting that awareness level and all of a sudden it’s like, okay, let’s practice something new and you’re able to practice in a safe environment and build that muscle and keep building it. That’s where it becomes the expertise.

Stone Payton: Well, and I’m sure just a little bit of forward progress starts to build some, some confidence and build on itself. I think that I think that’s marvelous. You just got to go in. Sounds like eyes wide open knowing that, you know, we’re not going to be hitting three pointers right out of the box here all the time.

Michelle Cox: Yeah, I mean I look at it in the fact, um, okay, what are the wins? And they may be small wins, but we actually celebrate and acknowledge the small wins along the way. So even as we have momentum here, you are saying, okay, so I’m throwing the pass to the ten yard line. I got the ten yard line. Now I’m throwing it to the 20 yard line. I’m getting there too. And so when you hit the touchdown, it’s that a much larger celebration. But you’re seeing your progress every step of the journey.

Stone Payton: And I absolutely do not want to dismiss this idea of, um, I guess my phrase for it back in the day was capability transfer. But you mentioned a ripple effect or the trickle down effect, if you can have that kind of impact with me as a leader of a, you know, reasonably successful media company. But then I go, you’re not just helping me if I’m engaging in those behaviors, exercising those disciplines. There really is an ongoing, uh, continuous effect throughout the organization, right?

Michelle Cox: There is. And even if you think about the next generation, the next level of leaders that’s coming up. If you if you’re an executive and you’re you have a team underneath you and you’re coaching your directors and then you’re coaching your that directors, coaching their managers and so on and so on and so on. Ultimately, every step that that that person will take, they’re going to take what they learned and take it to the next level that they go take it to the next organization that they go. And so it really does cause that ripple effect.

Stone Payton: So hobbies, interests, pursuits, passions outside the the scope of your work. Anything you nerd out about that’s not this.

Michelle Cox: Uh, well, yes. I mean, I’m a runner, so that is definitely, you know, and people think, oh, that’s exercise. But for me, that’s like my that is like my little, like meditation. That’s my place that I love getting outside. I love being able to I live right on the river here in Milwaukee. That is a big one. I golf, I golf, albeit it’s it’s awful golf but I love it. I mean nobody’s going to want to be I feel bad for the people behind me. It’s not a pretty pretty sport for me. But I love it. I love the peacefulness. I love the quietness. I love the guess what? It’s it’s not about anybody that I’m I’m having to rely on. It’s just kind of a place that I can just go and be, and I don’t have to do anything else and just enjoy it.

Stone Payton: Oh, I am so glad that I asked. I, I asked a gentleman the other day on the air and and we found out he played the bagpipes. You just never know what you learn about somebody when you ask him about that.

Michelle Cox: That’s amazing.

Michelle Cox: My uncle is a big pipes and I’m always like, wow, that’s that’s impressive. It really is.

Stone Payton: But you know, you touched on taking care of your self and to my way of thinking, you engaging in these activities outside the scope of your work is an expression of taking care of yourself. And I guess my personal experience has been, and maybe you would echo this. I really think for me, hunting and fishing and traveling and boating, when I go out and do that, I honestly feel like if I give myself that space, I feel like I come back a better practitioner and better equipped to serve my clients.

Michelle Cox: Absolutely, 100%. And I think that there is a misconception of that, like, oh, I have to push forward. I have to push through, I have to work. If I don’t work, then I’m going to come back and there’s going to be a million things that I’m going to have to take care of. But the thing is, sometimes you have to slow down to speed up.

Stone Payton: So what would you characterize as, um, signals for someone to what would they be seeing, hearing, experiencing where they ought to take a step back and say, hey, maybe I really ought to explore this idea of engaging a coach. Are there some some, like, telltale signs or. Yeah. Hit the brakes a minute and at least consider having a conversation with somebody like you.

Michelle Cox: Yeah, I would say this.If you have if you if you’re getting passed over for promotions, that’s the time to say, oh, shoot, I might have something that I actually need to work on. And that’s where I need to go out and see if there’s somebody that can support me and see if there’s some blind spots that I have, or if you’re losing passion behind what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Go out and find a coach. There’s a reason why you’re losing your passion behind it. It may be that what you valued ten years, 20 years ago isn’t the same thing that you value today. And what your aspirations are look different, so explore that. And the third thing I would say, if you’re working a crazy amount of hours, if you if you find that you’re not able to depend on your team. If you find that your results aren’t where you want them to be, and you find that you’re doing a lot of the work, and your team isn’t like you’re doing the work of your team, that is also a red flag. Go hire a coach. Let them help you through that process of it.

Stone Payton: Michelle, what’s the best way for our listeners to continue to tap into your work? Maybe have a more substantive conversation with you or somebody on your team. Let’s leave them with some coordinates.

Michelle Cox: Yeah, absolutely. If they anybody can go to my website. Michelle L cox.com. And they can book a call with me. See more nuggets that come out. Linkedin is an amazing place to come out there. I post pretty regularly that a lot of thought leadership different articles. So another good place. And again you can find me to book a call there too.

Stone Payton: What a delightful conversation Michelle, I find you so engaging. I find your perspective inspiring and it makes me want to kind of reflect on my own leadership, which hey, look gang, if you want to get a little bit of free insight and wisdom, get yourself a radio show. You can talk to some really smart people. But this is I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. You’re clearly doing important work and we sure appreciate you.

Michelle Cox: Thank you so much. This is amazing. I think you’re doing a very important work as well. So it’s right back at you.

Stone Payton: Thank you. Alright, until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Michelle Cox and everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying we’ll see you in the fast lane.