The Power of Soulful Listening: Building Trust, Engagement, and Innovation

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.
Joshua Kornitsky: Welcome back to High Velocity Radio. I’m your host, professional, US implementer, Joshua Kornitsky. And I’ve really got a one of a kind, amazing guest here in the studio with me today. Today my guest is Terri Lonowski . Terri is a speaker, a coach, and the creator of the Soulful Listening Methodology. Her work focuses on helping leaders and organizations strengthen communication, build trust, and really improve workplace relationships. Terri brings a science grounded in human centered approach to leadership and connection lending neuroscience with practical application. Her perspective is rooted in real world experience and a deep commitment to meaningful listening. So I’m going to do my very best to be an excellent listener. Welcome, Terri. It’s a joy to have you here.
Terri Lonowski : Joshua, I am so excited to be here, and I can hardly wait to see what happens in our conversation.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s fantastic excitement, I love it. Um, so let’s begin with what brought you to this path, to this type of work. Because most people are all about talking, not about listening.
Terri Lonowski : Oh gosh, that’s such a great perspective. And what brought me here was I was coaching human centered design teams from across the nation. And human centered design, at the core of that is empathy. And empathy is used to shift programs on their ears to be more meaningful to the customers they serve. And these teams were competing to showcase workforce innovation at the white House.
Joshua Kornitsky: Wow.
Terri Lonowski : So a couple of different times, my teams got invited to go to the white House. And so that was very exciting. And I learned from that just how powerful empathy is. However, I also knew that there were major missing pieces in how we communicate, and at the same time, I was reviewing some research that indicated over half of the American population is lonely.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay, so I’m looking for the thread that connects these things. And yes, and I and I sort of see it, but but please help me connect the dots.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah. And you know, the health implications of feeling lonely is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Joshua Kornitsky: Wow.
Terri Lonowski : With health risks now exceeding those of obesity. So this broke my heart. And I wonder, I wonder we have to be able to do better. And so I sequestered myself for two months to really unearth what made my relationships different, what made the way that I’ve been exposed to in early life and then evolve throughout my lifetime different? And out of that emerged what’s now known as soulful listening that has five simple elements.
Joshua Kornitsky: Will you share them with us?
Terri Lonowski : Oh, of course, I’d love to. So the first element of soulful listening is self-care.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : And rarely do we hear the direct connection between high quality self-care and high quality communication. But they are directly linked.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I certainly can understand it. I mean, it’s not it doesn’t make me scratch my head and say, why would that matter? But of course it would. The healthier you are, the more likely you are to be able to communicate clearly, I presume.
Terri Lonowski : Right. And in addition to that, it includes more than a bubble bath, although that could be fun, sure, but it includes things like what’s our self-talk? What’s that loop that’s going on in our head? Are we setting healthy boundaries?
Joshua Kornitsky: I that resonates a lot with me, because I do believe that the internal monologue sets the tone. And if you’re beating yourself up all the time, that comes through in your communication all the time.
Terri Lonowski : Oh, well said, well said. And it also includes things like, are we coming to our conversations with a higher degree of emotional intelligence? Are we self-regulating our emotions so we don’t come in just pummeling somebody?
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : Okay.
Joshua Kornitsky: Um, I certainly can understand that one. And I won’t give examples, but I think every human being can. Right. If if you’re in an agitated state, if you’re already, um, if you say have been driving in Atlanta traffic and then you walk in the door at home. Occasionally we can be short with our loved ones.
Terri Lonowski : Ah, indeed. Indeed. And have we gotten enough sleep? Sometimes that’s really under underrated on how important that is.
Joshua Kornitsky: I understand that. So that’s self-care, right?
Terri Lonowski : And when we take care of ourselves in the way that we just talked about, we’re ready for the second element of soulful listening, which is becoming fully present.
Joshua Kornitsky: Let’s talk about that because I don’t I don’t subscribe to any of the isms. If you’re gonna tell me that someone who’s 17 or 23, the ages of my daughters is guilty of X because of their age. That’s no different than in in my perspective, if you lump all people into a group, um, it’s no different than any other word you want to put on the front of the ism because you’re stereotyping. So I want to understand what you mean by that because it’s so easy to dismiss others.
Terri Lonowski : Yes. So becoming fully present, I imagine we’ve all been in situations where we can almost see the thought bubble of a person’s head with all the things they’re thinking about. We feel it. But when we’re in the presence of somebody that is really there for us, We feel that also. And so I’d like to share a way of getting there because it sounds kind of abstract.
Joshua Kornitsky: Absolutely.
Terri Lonowski : But if we can just kind of take notice of our body right now, just notice your body, shrug your shoulders a couple of times, up and down and up and down. Wiggle your toes. Okay. Now we’re going to take three intentional breaths. And the way we’ll do that will exhale all the way. And then we’ll breathe into the count of four. Hold and then breathe out to the count of six.
Joshua Kornitsky: Is that circular breathing. Is that what that’s called or is that something.
Terri Lonowski : It’s a little different than that. And there’s a reason that we exhale more than we inhale. So we’re not going to go into the science of that. We’re going to let’s just do it. Okay okay. Exhale all the way. Breathe in 234. Hold exhale Six old. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. And the last time. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Notice your body now.
Joshua Kornitsky: Yeah. I feel noticeably calmer. And I’m not I’m not a hyper guy. But I definitely can feel a bit of a sense of calmness. And that’s, uh, that’s a breathing, a similar breathing technique. Without going into the neuroscience to one that, that we use at home when, when one of one of our family gets particularly anxious, we, we count for and breathe a box for, for for for.
Terri Lonowski : Right, right. Yes. And that’s a great one to box breathing. Excellent. So when we truly take care of ourselves and become present like we just did, we’re ready for the third element of soulful listening, which is quantum listening.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : My way of describing that is if active listening and empathy had a love child.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : It would be this element. And it’s when we listen all in with every fiber of our being through our senses and maybe a little bit beyond.
Joshua Kornitsky: So that’s not that’s easy to describe. I don’t know how to do that physiologically other than to focus on you as you speak.
Terri Lonowski : Right. And, you know, and another thing to maybe have in mind is to enter that conversation with a sense of openness.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I think that’s an excellent, excellent point. But it must take some time to, to get comfortable with this concept for somebody who’s never heard it before. Right. It I, I don’t exactly know how to do it, but I certainly can give my undivided attention. Not look at my phone, not look at my watch, just look at you and try to focus on on what you’re saying.
Terri Lonowski : Right. That is that is great. And I’m a big proponent of start now start small.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : You know, whenever we enter a new body of information or we try a new exercise starting now and starting small is critical. You know, we’re not going to be an Olympic athlete the first time we put on a pair of tennis shoes.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s sadly true. Yes.
Terri Lonowski : Sadly true.
Joshua Kornitsky: As as as we say around my house, you have to eat the elephant in bites, right? You can’t try to take it all on at once. Yes. Um, any other suggestions for that? Fully intentional listening, right.
Terri Lonowski : And I had mentioned, you know, not playing out both sides of a conversation before you enter it.
Joshua Kornitsky: Sure.
Terri Lonowski : And that may sound like, well, of course, I would not do that, but it’s really easy to slip into, oh, we’ve been here before. He’s going to say this, I’m going to say that. And and there we go. So enter with an openness and have a couple of high quality questions in your back pocket.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: All right. So that’s three.
Terri Lonowski : Three. And then the fourth one is what I call the secret sauce. And that’s inspired action. When we connect on this deeper level, we often gain insights into how we might be helpful to another person. You know, whether it’s making a connection on LinkedIn, whether it’s making a phone call, maybe it’s sharing a book you’ve just read that might be of great assistance to another person. We all have access to incredible resources. Sure. Yes. And so that’s, you know, from this insight that was gained, offering some help or taking some action, okay. Inspired action, no strings attached.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay. So just, uh, and this is iOS, but my own verbiage as well. It’s that help first mentality. It’s it’s to to offer to do for someone else. Uh, and the minute you use this word, you negate the word. But it’s essentially an altruistic outlook, right? I can’t be intentionally altruistic because then I’m not being altruistic anymore.
Terri Lonowski : Yes, yes, I know you can’t get tripped up a little bit there. I can see that. I can see that. And so the last element of soulful listening is, is the feedback loop. And the reason that is so critical, we can have these great conversations. We can lean forward, not our head. Take it in, listen deeply, let a person know we heard them take action. But if we don’t let them know the individual we had this conversation with will, as most humans do, fill in the blanks that make up a story, and it’s almost always not accurate.
Joshua Kornitsky: And it’s from another version of that that I have heard from Brene Brown. From from reading her books is it’s never ever positive. I don’t think Terri was late today, hypothetically, because she won the lottery. She must have been hit by a bus. We don’t ever tell ourselves a positive reason why someone did or didn’t do something. We skew human nature to negative. Would you say that?
Terri Lonowski : That’s absolutely. And connecting it to conversations. The person that didn’t receive feedback didn’t wasn’t let known what happened. Well, boil and make up the story. They didn’t even care. They didn’t do anything. I am never going to open myself up again. Ever, ever ever. My great idea has gone flat, when in fact action may have been taken and the feedback could look simply like this. Hey, I heard what you said. I have this great connection on LinkedIn. I’m sending you both a message. Or here’s here’s a phone number. Give them a call or give them a heads up, you’re going to be reaching out. Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I can see if you’re following these five steps how that would change your interactions with just about everybody.
Terri Lonowski : So true.
Joshua Kornitsky: So I’m going to pause, because the first time that you and I talked about this, I asked you a question and I’m going to ask you the question again so that people understand this is not mumbo jumbo, Terri. Share with us your your actual education and background, please.
Terri Lonowski : Oh, okay.
Joshua Kornitsky: I think I think that I want to put it on record for anybody that’s like, oh, that sounds nice. So tell us your if you would real briefly what’s your background.
Terri Lonowski : I appreciate that. So I have a master’s degree in educational psychology. So that’s one thing I’m you know that’s where the neuroscience.
Joshua Kornitsky: Into the white.
Terri Lonowski : House.
Joshua Kornitsky: A couple of times.
Terri Lonowski : Really love that. And I am a TEDx speaker.
Joshua Kornitsky: I, and we’ll put that link when we publish. People need to see that.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah, yeah. And we’re really excited about that. We’re getting closer to 200,000 views and over 200 comments. So anyway, that just makes me kind of light up. And I have, as I had mentioned, showcased workforce innovation at the white House a couple of times.
Joshua Kornitsky: Right? So you’re a recognized expert in your field. And that’s the point that I really wanted to establish, um, without demeaning anyone. We live in a world where where these days you can put a flag up and say that you are X, Y, or Z, and people just nod and smile. But you’re the real deal. And I think that that’s something that’s really, really important for anybody listening to understand that this is backed up by knowledge, education and experience. This isn’t just fanciful thought. Um, and maybe you can hear in my tone I get defensive on your behalf, but it’s it’s because I want because I want people to understand that it’s rare to find a gem of this quality in in knowledge that is really, um, I’ll give the best example I can. It is simple, but not easy, right? You. There are five simple steps. They take some work to get them down, but it sounds like in just the breathing alone in 45 seconds, I could feel the impact of that.
Terri Lonowski : Um.
Joshua Kornitsky: Um. So. Meaning that I could feel the impact of the breathing on on myself. Um, so let me ask you then, with, with this concept, this methodology of soulful listening, what what’s possible as opposed to through traditional communication. Once you’ve got this in, in your tool belt as a tool that you’re able to use.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah. One thing that just kind of bubbles to the surface right now when you embody this, you know, you were talking about just kind of introducing people, but when you really embrace it and incorporate it into your life, how you are in one setting is how you are in all settings. So if you have an area of your life that you really kind of want to tweak some relationship skills, it will bleed over into others.
Joshua Kornitsky: So and that makes sense to me because truthfully, this is such a healthy way to approach things that if you are this way to the best of your ability at all times, you’re probably going to get a lot more out of life. As silly as that may broad, you know that that that’s boiling the ocean. That’s a big example. But if you follow those guidelines, where would it where’s the downside to it?
Terri Lonowski : Oh there isn’t. It’s, you know, it’s, um, it’s holistic. You know, we really look at it in a holistic approach to connecting with another, and we also connect with ourselves. How are we listening to ourselves?
Joshua Kornitsky: So, broadly speaking, I describe myself as an EOS implementer. I’m a leadership team, uh, coach, teacher and facilitator. How effective, how impactful is this? Because my mind goes towards leaders that I’ve met who are lacking in some, if not all, five of those skills. How impactful is this in your experience with leaders?
Terri Lonowski : Oh, it’s incredible. It’s just incredible. And and when we look at what’s happening in the workplace right now, I think Gallup, maybe a year or so ago, I came out with a study that indicated only about a third of people are fully engaged in the workplace.
Joshua Kornitsky: And that number is probably higher than reality.
Terri Lonowski : It’s I think it was 23%. But anyway, it it really reinforces the fact that we have breakdown in communication in the workplace and it is a very expensive breakdown. It’s costing when you have employees that say you pay somebody $100,000 a year and you’re really getting, um, maybe $30,000 of work out of them. Sure. You know, multiply that by your workforce.
Joshua Kornitsky: And that’s where this is. This is the real practical application. And and ultimately, while it will enhance the personal side of your life, let’s talk a little bit about the professional side. And, and if you, uh, take the soulful listening approach to, to just your, your professional relationships, what kind of changes have you seen with those you’ve taught?
Terri Lonowski : Yes. What I see is, you know, deeper engagement. And, you know, we’re we’re at a time in our world where we need solutions to really significant challenges. And to me, in order to really address those. We have to be the fullest expression of ourselves, our gifts and talents.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I can see that.
Terri Lonowski : And deep listening, or the soulful listening way is one way to unleash the potential that is locked up.
Joshua Kornitsky: Does it impact things? And this is loaded because I have to believe it does. But does it impact trust and confidence?
Terri Lonowski : Absolutely, absolutely. You know, when we, um, practice these five elements over and over again, it embeds integrity and confidence within relationships, whether they be personal or business. Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: Does it. So the breathing exercise, I told you I could feel a moment of of calmness. And I’m not a particularly violent storm of a guy. Right. But I could feel that. Are there other physiological changes that people experience, not just from the breathing but from all of it, really?
Terri Lonowski : Right when we hold the space for another person, which soulful listening allows us to do, the other person can access their higher reasoning because they would not be in fight or flight. When we’re in fight flight, we cannot access our prefrontal cortex.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay?
Terri Lonowski : Our higher reasoning is shut down. It’s not physiologically possible.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s an interesting point that I was not aware of.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: Yeah. Because a lot again going leaning on leadership as just a broad concept. Uh, aggressive leadership styles have a tendency to put, um, downstream employees as I like to refer to them, because I don’t want to denigrate the role, just someone who’s a direct report of a leader. Um, aggressive leadership can can trigger that very quickly that that fight or flight. And it’s not that the leader themselves is trying to be intimidating, although sometimes they are, um, you know, leaders emulate what they believe is an effective strategy. And if and if you learn from a drill sergeant, you may think that’s the best way to do it. But as I’ve recently learned, drill sergeants actually care a great deal about the people under their control or under their, their, um, uh, under their care. You from the outside, you may not know that, but the reality is they’re there to make sure no one gets harmed or hurt, and they’re there to toughen the soldiers that they work with so that they’re able to do the things that are needed from them. But as as I think about soulful listening as a framework, it, it it seems, um, pretty superpower ish. I don’t I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to oversell it. Right.
Terri Lonowski : But yeah, I believe I believe it is a superpower of sorts. I don’t know if I would call that that, but you did. And so I’m going to.
Joshua Kornitsky: Yeah, I’m going.
Terri Lonowski : To latch.
Joshua Kornitsky: On to jump on. And the whole idea is just that I try to think about what it would be like. You know, we we all aspire ourselves to be a certain way. Um, this very much appeals to me to to be a soulful listener, to be someone who is so in that moment and so able to help others achieve the things they want to do. That’s that’s a lot of why I’m sitting on this side of the microphone. And it’s a lot of why I do what I do for a living, because I want to help others. What if somebody’s not wired that way?
Terri Lonowski : Well, we don’t need another person’s permission or another person’s skill set to be this. That’s a great operating in this higher way of being. And what I have observed is we tend to entrain to the others that were around. You know, we’ll kind of match. And so if we are operating at these soulful listening level.
Joshua Kornitsky: Right.
Terri Lonowski : You know, other people will kind of like lean into that because it works. It’s appealing.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s a really good point. So they see it. They see its effectiveness. And and that’s something I had not considered. But it makes sense to me. It there’s there’s some ancient lesson in US process. Uh, that’s that’s true. That basically process is born out of we do the things that produce the results that we want, and we don’t do the things we don’t repeat the things that did not get us our results. And ultimately, process is born out of that very crude concept. And it ties in here really in a way I hadn’t considered if I witnessed someone else using these components and this approach, and I see it being effective, I’m going to try it.
Terri Lonowski : Right, right. And and we’re kind of magnetically drawn to people who are Open who are in alignment within their own own being.
Joshua Kornitsky: Sure.
Terri Lonowski : You know, you describe the the leader that was, you know, like people were walking on eggshells around them. You know, that that, you know, like elicits people shutting down. But if you have this quiet confidence and it doesn’t mean that just being quiet is going to do it. You know, there has to be some meat behind it. So you have a leader that has a lot of substance to them. Maybe they’ve had some practices where they’ve been off putting to people that they’re trying to lead, like your drill sergeant. Right. You know, they had the best of intentions. But when we really look at human behavior and what we need as humans, and we are designed to thrive when we feel seen and heard and supported by others, period.
Joshua Kornitsky: I think that that’s a often overlooked, realistic perspective on, uh, managing human capital to to use that term, to the best of my way, to describe when you’re thinking about people that work with you, with people that work for you, that the leaders that are under your care or that you report to us, we all do better with the right mindset. We all improve if we’re being heard and believe that we’re being heard. And it doesn’t mean I have to win every argument for lack of a of a better expression. But to be heard is to be recognized.
Terri Lonowski : Yes. And when we when we are seen in this way, we feel more confident to bring forth bold ideas, you know, and that’s the space in which innovation can thrive.
Joshua Kornitsky: 100% that that aligns with exactly what what we teach. And in that you have to have vulnerability based trust before you can experience constructive conflict. And it’s only from constructive conflict that accountability and results will come and commitment will come, because you’ve got to believe the other person isn’t trying to hurt you. That we’re working towards common goals and clearly this would help people work towards a common goal. So. So let me ask, do you teach this to organizations? Do you teach this to people? How how are you bringing, uh, outside of your Ted talk? How are you bringing soulful listening out to the world?
Terri Lonowski : Right. You know, I can work with companies. And, you know, I had one that a CEO reached out to me. Within a year, they had grown from 100 employees to 250.
Joshua Kornitsky: Wow. That’s pretty significant.
Terri Lonowski : And so they were having, you know, miscommunication, misunderstandings, breakdown, hard feelings, people missing deadlines, so on and so forth. So in that case, I went in and I wanted to spend a little bit of time with the people and I wanted to listen. And so I asked to speak to people from all the different levels. Right. And I got some insights into how they how each of these levels was experiencing all of this change. And so then I had a half a day when I was with the executives. So we did like a deep dive into this. We’ve kind of skimmed over some of the elements today, but we dug deeper and I was able to offer some real life examples from within their house.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : And then a couple days later, I did a keynote for all 250. So they had a similar framework from which they could support each other in moving forward.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I think that that’s a really important thing to consider. Right. Is that while that’s great, if you’re able to work with one team, the biggest impact is if the organization has a common language and has an ability to understand why we’re saying the words we’re saying, why we’re taking the actions we’re taking. Um, are there particular size organizations that you work with or up and down?
Terri Lonowski : I’m kind of open to that. I would want to have a conversation to so I could sense whether I would be able to offer great value. That’s the most important thing to me. Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: This is a question that that jumps out and it’s a little it’s a little off center, but I feel like it’s something that that you have expertise to speak to. Terri. Um, what are the misconceptions? What are the assumptions people make about communication and whether it ties to soulful listening or not? Your communications expert, what are the what are the most common mistakes you see that you’re able to help with?
Terri Lonowski : Well, it’s kind of, uh, you know, I don’t know, kind of disregarded as being important. You know, maybe looking at communication as a hug, a tree. Really not that big of a deal. Soft skills, when in fact, that is not true. Miscommunication in the United States costs businesses $1.2 trillion a year.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay, that’s enough messing around number.
Terri Lonowski : Okay.
Joshua Kornitsky: And that that is directly attributable. I’m asking to.
Terri Lonowski : Yes.
Joshua Kornitsky: To miscommunication.
Terri Lonowski : And you know, in that in that bucket would be things like people not engaged at work.
Joshua Kornitsky: Right.
Terri Lonowski : Quietly quitting actually quitting. Right. You know turnover and and so it’s all of that together, um, not communicating effectively with your clients and missing an order, uh, being off putting to them because you have what you want to say, but you’ve not listened to what they need. Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: Well, and I have to believe that assumptions play into it, right? Because to me, that’s the the greatest pitfall that I typically observe with, with organizations that I work with and even organizations that I don’t work with, is is that assumption that A is handling B, which will make C not happen except A and B have no idea that C occurs?
Terri Lonowski : Yeah, I can see.
Joshua Kornitsky: And that gets awful expensive. And then you know anytime you put yourself into that mindset what’s it going to cost us to fix. What’s it going to cost us to to remediate or to go back? Um, you know, of that 1.3 trillion.
Terri Lonowski : 1.2.
Joshua Kornitsky: $1.2 trillion? It’s as the expression goes, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube. I wonder how much of that is. I wonder how much of that is lost confidence equating to loss of business. Right. Because if if that communication breaks down and I lose confidence in your ability to deliver my widgets, I’m going to go somewhere else. And that’s that’s harder to measure because who knows how much revenue was there. But we’ve all we’ve all seen it. And most of us that have been in business have made that decision. I wasn’t getting what I needed here. I’m going to go elsewhere.
Terri Lonowski : Right. And when you look at what that does to an employee, you know, if let’s say it’s a high functioning, high performing employee and the widget doesn’t get delivered and that looks bad on them and they’re going to go, I’m, you know, good luck. I’m not I’m going to go find another place where that widget can get there on time.
Joshua Kornitsky: Right. So it’s it’s it sounds like it can be a multifaceted or it can be a cascading fallout when you have a communication breakdown.
Terri Lonowski : Totally.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay, so tell me, based on your experience, um, some without giving away, uh, identifying information. Right. What are some of the the changes you’ve been able to see happen in some of the companies or organizations you’ve worked with?
Terri Lonowski : Well, you know, the one that I just gave an example of, the CEO ended up writing this letter. And what happened there is they they found a way of communicating with one another, taking the breath, listening, offering good questions so they could really get at the problems. And, and they just had a healthier, um, feeling seen and feeling heard. And that mattered a lot to the employees at all levels. And when we look at the, um, the admin level at this organization, right, you know, they were just like, you know, all this change has happened. Nobody’s connecting with us. They’re just, you know, like throwing it upon us and didn’t even ask us, how could we do this a little bit better? And so after that, they got brought in the loop of the conversation.
Joshua Kornitsky: And that’s a great point because you can’t you’re not I, I presume you’re not going to be as effective at implementation if you limit it to only a portion of the organization.
Terri Lonowski : Right. It’s it’s better. I mean, you know, a leader can really have an incredible ripple effect, too. So if, you know, if we just get to the, you know, the higher level, right, that can, you know, like I say, the entrainment, the matching, the demonstrating and being the leader of this.
Joshua Kornitsky: So Sam, a leader of an organization and I’m listening to this right now. What are some key indicators to me that I’ve got communication issues. What are things that I should be looking for to tell me? Because, you know, we’re making money. Uh, we’re we’re we’re growing, whether it’s at full potential or capacity. You know, a, uh, leader may cage that answer and say, well, we can’t say for sure. But how how would a leader what are some of the signs that a leader should look for.
Terri Lonowski : One thing you can look at is what? Your turnover rate.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay.
Terri Lonowski : You know, if you have people running out the door and they’re the high quality people, that’s a really good indication that something’s amiss.
Joshua Kornitsky: Okay, that makes perfect sense to me.
Terri Lonowski : Another thing, if you haven’t had an innovative idea brought before you recently, you might want to take stock of that.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s that’s a really interesting tell. Um, because that goes back to trust, that goes back to openness and the willingness to take that chance to say, hey, boss, what if we did this?
Terri Lonowski : Right. And the container that soulful listening can create is a safe container in which you can innovate because innovation is messy, right? You know, the ideas are not perfect upon first being formed. Sure. And so you have to have be able to bounce that around and have, you know, the the freedom to fail fast. You know, reiterate and then really get to something that may have saved you countless dollars.
Joshua Kornitsky: And I can see why enhancing your ability to communicate would dramatically change that pattern. Because one of the things that that I always work with my clients on is accepting that, you know, we can’t we’re not likely to solve every problem 100% the first time we try. The companies that get that and can iterate succeed ultimately much quicker because they understand, okay, this path A didn’t work. Let’s try path B, let’s try path C, but occasionally I encounter organizations where you know they’re going to ride path A down to hell and, and and even then you will have somebody demanding that this is the only way. And it’s because they don’t have that ability to communicate openly and say, hey, we tried that. That didn’t work. Next up.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah. And even if that did work at one time, very, very, very well. The world is different. It’s changing every single day. We can even look at technology, and we don’t even need to have a deep understanding of that. But to know that there are tools that maybe take the place of a task that was, was done by 12 people. Now two can do it. And so where can that capital be utilized in a better way? Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: So I want to ask a harder question that just occurred to me with what you said.
Terri Lonowski : Okay.
Joshua Kornitsky: Because you are an expert in communication with, let’s say, the influx of AI and all of the whatever version you want to call it, whatever tool, whatever name you want to use, is that introducing an element of of either chaos or anxiety into the communication Channels.
Terri Lonowski : You know, I think.
Joshua Kornitsky: In your opinion.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah. You know, it depends on the setting. In some ways it could be like an incredible aid, you know, like a augment, you know, to augment what’s being done. And, you know, sometimes we’re afraid of what we don’t know. And so maybe giving stock to and asking, asking your people like, how are you? How does this set with you? We’re bringing this on. How does this set with you?
Joshua Kornitsky: And maybe there you go communicating again.
Terri Lonowski : Yeah.
Joshua Kornitsky: But but you actually gave me an answer that I never would have thought of because, uh, most people don’t do that. They’re just like, here’s the new tool.
Terri Lonowski : Right? And and that ultimately may be what needs to happen. That tool may need to be there. But by just tapping the brakes for just a second and checking in, then you can create an environment where there could be bigger buy in, and maybe that person will come to you and say, you know, I see that we’re going to use it for this, but what about if we also used it for this?
Joshua Kornitsky: Right. Yeah. And that only comes from the ability to communicate clearly.
Terri Lonowski : Right. Right.
Joshua Kornitsky: Terri, I can’t thank you enough. So would you mind taking us through the five steps briefly, just so that anybody can write them down? Uh, and obviously we’re going to link to your website. We’re going to link to, to whatever the ways are to communicate best with you. But if you’ll run them, run through them one more time so that everybody can have them.
Terri Lonowski : Of course. Happy to. So the first element. Self-care. Take stock of that and maybe even commit to yourself this next week doing two self-care activities and then seeing how you feel about that in the week. The second one is becoming fully present before your next conversation. Somebody you care about. Take three deep breaths and listen.
Joshua Kornitsky: I love how you slow down when you say that, but you force people to listen.
Terri Lonowski : And the third one, quantum listening. Like, tune in, put everything else aside. Listen with all that you are.
Joshua Kornitsky: And you said that it’s okay. That. That takes time.
Terri Lonowski : It’s okay. Start now. Start small.
Joshua Kornitsky: I just wanted to reiterate, because a lot of people are going to be frustrated that I don’t know how to do that. Well, you gotta take the first step.
Terri Lonowski : Step. One little baby step. And then the fourth element inspired action. When you get a nudge that somebody could use your help or use a connection that you have. Offer it no strings attached. And then the fifth element circle back and let them know what you’ve done.
Joshua Kornitsky: I can’t thank you enough, Terri. What’s the best way for people to get Ahold of you?
Terri Lonowski : Well, I do have a website. Soulful listening comm. One word. Soulful listening.
Joshua Kornitsky: We’ll post that link.
Terri Lonowski : And then I’d love to connect with people on LinkedIn.
Joshua Kornitsky: Oh.
Terri Lonowski : So that would be by my name, Teri. And I’m the only one.
Joshua Kornitsky: Speaking is Joshua Kornitsky. I’m with.
Terri Lonowski : You, so connect with me there. And that is the place that you’ll see what I’m up to. I’m on an awful lot of podcasts and different media, you know, social media platforms. So check me out there too.
Joshua Kornitsky: That’s fantastic. Well, um, I can’t thank you enough, Terri. I certainly learned a lot and will be doing my best to to adopt this. I know that you have other things in the works, and when those come forward, I absolutely would love to have you back on the show to talk about them. Um, my guest today has been Terri Landowski. I can’t emphasize enough also a speaker, keynote speaker, and a coach, but she’s the creator of the soulful listening methodology that we’ve just learned together. Uh, the five steps that will help us become really much more effective listeners and in indirectly incredible communicators. And I say indirectly because it’s about listening first. Is that fair or am I fair? All right.
Terri Lonowski : That is fair.
Joshua Kornitsky: Terri’s work focuses on helping leaders and organizations strengthen communication. You guys just heard that build trust and improve workplace relationships. It’s a sound, a science grounded and human centered approach, um, to both leadership and connection, blending neuroscience with practical application. Terri, again, thank you for being here. My name is Joshua Kornitsky. I am a professional EOS implementer and the host here on High Velocity Radio. Thank you for joining us. We’ll see you next time.