Sustainable Success: Dr. Sabrina Starling on Work-Life Transformation

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor hear another episode of High Velocity Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have the Founder of Tap the Potential, Dr. Sabrina Starling, the Business Psychologist. Welcome.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Thank you. Lee, I’m excited to be here.

Lee Kantor: Well, I’m excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about Tap the Potential. How are you serving folks?

Dr Sabrina Starling: We are helping business owners take their lives back from their business. And it’s not just business owners, it’s their team members, too. We are all about work supports life, not the other way around. And our focus is on disrupting hustle culture and creating businesses that can grow profitably without taking over the owner’s lives.

Lee Kantor: Well, I appreciate that because I am with you 100%. This hustle culture has to come to an end. I think this is just it sounds good on paper. Or maybe it had a point in time where it made sense, but I just think people are just taking it to an extreme and then it just destroying their life.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Burnout is pervasive in our society. And there the idea with hustle culture is we’re we’re we feel like we’re on this treadmill and we need to continually work harder to succeed. And that means sacrificing our health, our well-being, and our important relationships all for the sake of success. And what is actually happening is people don’t feel successful at all. They feel their health is crumbling, relationships are crumbling. And there’s there’s just a pervasive feeling of everyone is just trying to survive. And I think that spills over into all the tension that we are experiencing in society.

Lee Kantor: Yeah, I agree, I think that this, you know, I’m available 24 over seven as a badge of honor or that some achievement or that’s a good thing. I this has got to come to an end. I just think you’re right that it’s especially with the advent after the pandemic, with remote learning, you know, you’re you’re at home and you’re doing your work and you got your phone and it’s so easy to be connected. You need permission and grace to not be connected.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Absolutely. And what is missed in all of this connectivity is how unproductive it actually makes us, because what we’re doing is context switching. Anytime our phone buzzes, whatever we were doing now, something else has our attention, and it can take us 9 or 10 minutes to get back to a level of focus that we had prior to that interruption. But what is also going on is we’re continuing. Our focus is being continually interrupted, so we are losing our ability to focus over time. What I have found in my research now with working with business owners over 20 years, coaching thousands of business owners and their high performing teams and even myself. And what we do on our team is that when we work less, we are actually more effective and more productive. Then when we work longer hours and make ourselves continually available, it seems counterintuitive, but we see the results all over the place of business owners working 25 hours a week team meant putting limits in place for their team members, allowing their team members to work fewer hours. We actually see productivity increasing when that happens.

Lee Kantor: Yeah, I would think that. I mean, that makes sense. But it takes a level of trust I don’t know. Do you think that the the advent of multitasking was the gateway drug into the hustle culture, where that was like, oh, I can do multiple things at a time so I can, you know, be with my kid and do some work or I can, you know, watch a movie and still, you know, play on my phone like you’re we’ve just kind of, uh, adapted to all of the stimulus by making it seem like, oh, this is I. My brain’s big enough to handle all of these things simultaneously. But like you’re saying, in actuality, if you would just block time and stay focused on one thing, you’ll get it done. And you can go on with your life.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Yes. And you can get you can go on with your life in a much more calm way, where you feel healthier and you feel more grounded and connected. But to answer your initial question, was the phone the gateway drug hustle culture existed before phones dead and phones.

Lee Kantor: I was saying was multi watt multitasking was the gateway drug. Yes. The thought that I could multitask.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Absolutely. The the phones really just put that on steroids and accelerated. Um, and it’s a classic case of the technology was developed and we had no way to deal with ourselves using that technology. And so now we have a society that is addicted to the phone. And just to really come to understand and appreciate the impact that these phones have on our relationship when our primary relationships, our kids, our spouses. Um, when a phone comes out at the dinner table, the converse, the level of the conversation Remains very shallow because the phone has become a cue that I am distracted. I am not fully focused on you. So whether it’s it and that’s never stated verbally, outright, it is a non-conscious cue to the other people in the room. You don’t matter as much as what’s on my phone.

Lee Kantor: Yeah. And and you see that I was one of my favorite, um, marketers is a guy named Rory Sutherland. And he said that in business, this shows up like those kind of cues that if you’re at a restaurant and it’s like 30 minutes before they close, if they put up one chair. Yeah, that’s telling everybody we’re closing. So start wrapping it up. Uh, they don’t have to say anything else, but they’ve just made it known to everybody that we’re closing as soon as you leave, you know? And it’s the same thing that you could be signaling, um, intent in ways that you may not realize what you’re doing, and the impact is real. I mean, in that business, no one’s going to show. You know, enter that business if they see one chair up because they think they’re close. And as soon as the phone comes out, everybody shuts down. They’re like, I guess it’s okay for me to be on my phone. And then you’ve just given everybody permission to not engage in a, you know, meaningful conversation.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Absolutely. And, you know, I think the the kind of the larger issue is when we are chasing success and we want to be really good at our work and what we do so we can be successful for our families. We’re trying to set our families up for success. And so we’re we’re buying into hustle culture. But really, what sets families up for success is when we are slowing down and we are emotionally present with one another. Being emotionally present is the greatest gift we can give another human being.

Lee Kantor: So what are some of the baby steps people can do to wean themselves from, uh, kind of hustle, culture their devices and spend more meaningful time with the people that matter most to them.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Absolutely. So we we teach people how to treat us. And so setting simple limits around phone use, um, letting your team members know that you will respond to them the next business day, that you’re not going to respond after hours letting your clients and customers know that, um, if we start responding in after hours, we are teaching them that we’re going to be available after hours. And so it just perpetuates the cycle. So just having a simple statement, um, on your email saying, you know, I will respond to your email during regular business hours at such and such time. Um, but really going home at the end, having a set time to stop work each day is very powerful for. Minimizing the impact of hustle culture on our lives. Planning to be fully unplugged after we stop work each day so we put our phones away. I put my phone in the other room so that it’s not pulling my attention away from me unwinding, or me being present with my family. We can take weekends off and fully unplug. The best antidote to burnout is these regular periods of unplugging. A lot of times people think, well, I need a big, long vacation to get over my burnout.

Dr Sabrina Starling: And I’ve written a book before we vacation. And absolutely, a great long vacation will do a lot to reduce burnout. But if we take a four week vacation and then we come back and we work 70 hours a week, we’re going to be burnt out the week we’re back. So it’s these regular periods of unplugging when we stop work at a set time each day, and we fully unplug when we take evenings and weekends off fully unplugged, that’s going to prevent burnout. And then we can be intentional in that unplugged time to create experiences with our loved ones. That is what is going to build your relationships. It’s going to improve your overall mental health, and it also gives you the opportunity to have stress free exercise. I was at the gym yesterday and I looked next to me, and I noticed that the lady on the treadmill next to me was on her phone the whole time. So she was not experiencing. She was exercising, but it wasn’t stress free exercising. So we want we want to have that unplugged time and we want to have those boundaries in place.

Lee Kantor: Now you talk about, um, how to make your time worth $10,000 an hour. How do you kind of elevate, uh, and and kind of create more value for your time? Like, what’s that mindset? Mindset shift have to be in order to see your time as worth $10,000 an hour.

Dr Sabrina Starling: So each and every one of us has strengths. We have unique gifts, things that come easy to us, that do not come easy to others. And ideally, we get to do work that plays to our strengths. And when we are in a situation, when we’re working and we’re working from our strengths, it’s going to give us energy, um, versus depleting our energy. And so when that work gives us energy and we are doing work that makes other things easier or unnecessary for ourselves or others, that’s when our time really becomes worth $10,000 an hour. And this happens. It’s easy to see this for business owners when you can work on the higher value activities in the business by delegating things that are not your strengths, that are very routine and remote, are not producing value, and you shift and you focus on what can I do from my strengths that’s going to have an impact, making other things easier or unnecessary. It will allow that business to grow well as the business owner starts delegating. Oftentimes what happens is the leaders right underneath the business owner become swamped and they start to burn out. And so they also need that mindset of looking at what work can I do from my strengths that will make other things easier or unnecessary in the business, and delegate things that are not their strengths, that are not making things better in the business Us. And as we start delegating like that, what will happen is the you can run a business on fewer team members.

Dr Sabrina Starling: You can run a business on fewer hours because everyone becomes super focused on the results that are important to deliver. It’s not about the time that’s going in. It’s about the results that are getting delivered. And it creates opportunities for advancement. And the beautiful thing about creating opportunities for advancement in a company is that is the number one benefit that a players are seeking in the workplace. It’s not promotions and and like name and title opportunities for advancement. It’s not about money, opportunities for advancement. It is about the opportunity to grow in your skills and in your leadership. That’s what a players are seeking. And so when we aren’t delegating from the top and taking things off our plate, we are depriving other people on our teams from those opportunities for advancement. And that’s why we will lose top talent in our businesses. So this whole idea of identifying what are your $10,000 an hour activities and what are your team members, $10,000 an hour activities really creates tremendous engagement in the work that’s being done. I have a chart of $10,000 an hour activities, and it’s a a great tool for identifying where you should be focusing and what you should be delegating at work. Um, it’s for business owners. It’s for team members. You can download it at tap. The potential.com forward slash.

Lee Kantor: Now is that the first thing when you start working with a new client? Is there some sort of an assessment? You give them to identify what their superpowers are, and you know which of those align with those $10,000 activities?

Dr Sabrina Starling: One of the things that we do with our clients is we do use the people Map assessment to help start identifying strengths. And that’s just one of the many tools that are out there. What’s really powerful, beyond taking an assessment to identify your strengths, is to just start paying attention to what you are doing at work that really energizes you and lights you up, because those are the things that point to our strengths. Whatever we are on fire about versus the things that drain our energy and make us feel tired and worn out at the end of the day. If we’re going home feeling that way, there’s a good chance that we weren’t working from our strengths during the day.

Lee Kantor: Now, once you do. Every does every business have kind of universal. These are the $10,000 ours. Um, and we just got to find the right folks that are aligned with those kind of, uh, activities, with their strengths.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Every business has a sweet spot. You have a in the sweet spot is your group of top clients that you are serving. And whatever it is that you are doing for them is delivering tremendous value to the business. And that is why they continue to do business with you. And so understanding the business. Sweet spot. So every business has a sweet spot. Not every business has identified the sweet spot. And that’s one of the things we help our clients do at tap the potential. And every business needs to know what that sweet spot is. And then create systems to support the sweet spot that drive profitability in the business, and then you identify the strengths needed in each role. To support the sweet spot. So every role in the business, you need to be able to state what are the strengths needed to deliver the one result needed in this role? Exceptionally well. Day in and day out, and the one result that’s needed in each role is what is the person doing in this role that serves the sweet spot and drives profitability? And if they can only do that in a given day or a given week, they are going to contribute and help us be profitable as a company. And so when you’re hiring, you hire for people who have the strengths to deliver that one result in that role. I’ve written extensively about this in my book, How to Hire the Best. And it’s it’s a very practical Guide for hiring a players in small businesses where there’s limited resources, and what happens when you are hiring. With the results needed and strengths in mind, you can actually run your business on a very lean and mighty team, so that that goes right back to creating efficiency in the business, which drives profitability.

Lee Kantor: And what are what are the ways do you deliver your coaching? Is it one on one? Is it group? Do you have cohorts at top?

Dr Sabrina Starling: The potential? We love to put our small business owners in groups to gather small groups together, and we have a structured program that guarantees within one year. If you follow our process, you will be able to take a fully unplugged four week vacation and you will have more time for what matters most and more money in your bank account than ever. On average, our clients are experiencing over a 700, a 700% increase in their profitability and their time off in their first year with us.

Lee Kantor: And then what is kind of the rhythm of the coaching?

Dr Sabrina Starling: Every two weeks there is a meeting in the small group. And what we are looking for is, uh, are you taking the action steps between meetings, the $10,000 an hour activities that we guide you, we point you to exactly what you need to do. So there’s no guessing. And you take those actions. We you know, if you give us five hours a week, um, we can guarantee that you will get to this four week vacation fully unplugged within the first year with us. And and the beautiful thing about the ability to take a fully unplugged four week vacation as a business owner, as it means that you have built a team of a players, you have systems in place, your business is sustainable Regardless of what happens to you.

Lee Kantor: Now, what are some of the maybe symptoms or signals to a person that who may not think they’re close to burnout, but maybe they are headed that way? Are there some signals or symptoms that kind of illustrate if you’re on that path?

Dr Sabrina Starling: Yeah. Yeah. So feeling frustrated with team members having a short fuze, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning to go to work when the alarm goes off. You sigh and you say, oh, today I have to. Um, which is very different than your alarm going off and waking up and feeling energized and saying, oh, today I get. To which that’s the ideal situation we want to create. Um, coming home at the end of your day, feeling drained and depleted, feeling like the weekend is not long enough to recover, and that you really need much longer than two days off to to recharge. Those are all signs of Burnout. The brain fog. Feeling like you just can’t. Like decisions take a long time. Um, feeling like your work is taking longer and longer. And it’s kind of crazy because you’re getting more and more experienced at it. So you should it should be easier, but it feels like it’s getting harder and more complex. All of that is an indication of burnout. And when we’re burning out, we are like the frogs in the boiling pot of water. We don’t realize it until we have very severe symptoms. So I love Lea that you’re asking about, you know, what are some of the more subtle things that happen that let us know we’re getting into burnout?

Lee Kantor: And can you share a story? Uh, don’t name the name of the person or the organization, but maybe share what the challenge was, or they thought it was and how you were able to help them get to a new level?

Dr Sabrina Starling: Yeah, sure. So, um, I one of the, the biggest challenges that comes up is feeling like I don’t want to hire more team members because I’ve been burned so bad in the past with hiring mistakes and people who look great on paper. But then I hire them and they come in and they mess things up, and I have to work harder and longer hours. So that feeling of I’m just going to keep things small and simple. So it’s passing on growth opportunities and what we have been able to do with the how to hire the best system is really make hiring so much easier and increase the chances of hiring right to up to about 90% chance that you’re going to hire. Right? Um, and that creates a having teams of a players. And so one of the first like wins that business owners experience is when they finally hire an A player on their team and they are able to delegate and start focusing more on their $10,000 an hour activities. While that a player takes on other activities and tasks it. It creates a feeling of, oh, I’ve got this, I’ve got this. And the beauty of that is it’s a snowball effect. Because once you have one, a player on the team now, you will no longer tolerate warm bodies. And oftentimes that means letting go of poor team members who are. They may be great people, but they are poor, fit for what needs to be done. And it elevates the culture in the business. And so the the experience of wow, now we have a team of a players and things are flowing and there’s ease being created. That’s that’s a very common scenario among the business owners that we work with.

Lee Kantor: Now is the first step when it comes to hiring these potential a or prospective a a Players is getting the book hired the best? Is that a good starting point before?

Dr Sabrina Starling: That is a great starting point. We have a course in how to hire the best. A lot of people read the book and are able to implement and I also my my co-host and I, Melissa K she and I have the Profit by Design podcast and we talk about these issues every week on the podcast. So I would say get the book, tune into the Profit by Design podcast, and you will start to see that it is possible to build a team of a players. It’s possible to get yourself out of the day to day in the business, and all of that leads to more profitability.

Lee Kantor: Now, now, can these a players on your team be contract or do they have to be employees?

Dr Sabrina Starling: So at top of the potential, everyone that we have on our team is a team member, it doesn’t mean they’re an employee or contractor. So you can be a contractor or an employee of the business. Um, a players exist at all levels and in all roles. So yes, look for a players who are contractors and sometimes contractors are the best. Um, especially for small businesses, because you don’t have the budget to hire for a full time position.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wants to learn more about tap, the potential. Is the website a place to go to kind of get or learn more about all the things you discussed today.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Absolutely. Tap the potential.

Lee Kantor: Well, Sabrina, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Dr Sabrina Starling: Thank you. Lee.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.