Tamara Dawn Koen With The Classic Style Studio

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here. Another episode of High Velocity Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have Tamara Dawn Koen, who is a Life Stylist, Consultant and Founder of the Classic Style Studio and the SHIBUIQUE Technique For Women Over 50. Welcome.

Tamara Dawn Koen: Thank you. What a mouthful.

Lee Kantor: That was quite the intro. Well.

Tamara Dawn Koen: Thank you very much I appreciate that.

Lee Kantor: Well, I’m excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about your practice. How you serving folks?

Tamara Dawn Koen: Well, it’s it’s really very simple. When we hit that stage of life where we’re getting ready for our next best chapter. After. For many women it could be 50 years old, it could be 60, it could be 70 and beyond. When we just get to a point where we see that something really needs to change, and for most of us, it’s really just settling into a space that’s decluttered. And I don’t mean your closet and I don’t mean your home, I mean just inside and out, just finding something that really works. And that in many cases is creating a signature style. And at the classic style studio, that’s exactly what I do. I help women discover what works for them and what is most authentic to them.

Lee Kantor: So what’s your backstory? How’d you get involved in this line of work?

Tamara Dawn Koen: I’ve had quite a varied career. Um, I’m a left handed Gemini with late diagnosed ADHD, so, um, I’ve been a journalist. I have been a singer, um, an actor and also an inventor. I have a couple of patented inventions under my belt. And I really got to a point where I found it very, very difficult to. Shop. And, you know, as you get a little bit older, you start to feel as though, well. Things aren’t really being marketed towards you, whether it’s clothing or style. And I realized that what works best for me and I found across the board for many women that I worked with, what really works best is a very, very classic look. And classic is so simple. It’s just being able to identify it and what works for you as an individual.

Lee Kantor: So how did you kind of land on the the terminology life stylist?

Tamara Dawn Koen: Well, part of it is really creating this, the program that I work with and the name of it, as you had mentioned, so, so kindly in in the intro is seborrheic. And essentially what that involves is I’ve taken principles from a couple of Japanese techniques. One is shibai. And what Shibai is, is classic elegance. And it’s really identifying what a very simple look that is comfortable and elegant and quietly elegant. And ikigai is understanding what you love and your reason for being. And for most of us who are getting into that next stage or already there. And we’re trying to figure out what what is our what’s next. It’s really being able to identify that signature. And using Shibai, we’re able to identify a signature style. It’s in how we dress. It’s in how we present ourselves and how we step into the world and into that next line of work, line of volunteerism, whether it’s philanthropy or working with individuals, whatever it might be. Um, it just makes things so much easier. And, uh, you’re, you’re ready to to start your day. For me, I started to identify it when I was in journalism, I had a very nice budget to buy clothing. And back then this was in the the mid to late 90s. Shopping just seemed a lot easier. Everything was a lot more organized. You could go into a store and you could identify what you were looking at. You could identify your, uh, uh, silhouettes and the colors and the fabrics that you loved. Today it’s a little bit more difficult. Fashion comes and goes so quickly, and fads are here and there. So I really found that I needed to help myself and now help others make it just a little bit easier, because we’re living in a world with so much noise and so much confusion, that it’s really nice to know that we can count on something and we can count on ourselves to be able to identify what works for us best.

Lee Kantor: Well, it sounds like your practice, though. It’s it’s not just how a person looks that it’s it’s kind of more holistic than that.

Tamara Dawn Koen: It really is. You know, we only look as good as we feel, and we have to have confidence. And it’s sad but true that society tells us that as we get older, we’re less important. And it’s really interesting. And I and I talk to my clients about this all the time. When we have a coveted piece of vintage jewelry as an example, it becomes more valuable with age, it becomes more rare, and we treasure it more. And as we get older, it seems, especially for women, we seem to be set aside just a little bit. And part of what I do with women is, is help them realize that as we build our community, and community is our reason for being. Our community is what really keeps us standing and keeps us connected. That really becomes our purpose. And I think that, uh, for me and for the women that I work with, it’s it’s so incredibly helpful to work from the inside out. And when we when we when we look good, we feel good. And when we feel good, we carry ourselves differently.

Lee Kantor: So what’s happening in the lives of these women before they join your community? What are they struggling with? What are some of the symptoms, signs, signals that let them know, hey, maybe I should connect with Tamara and and join her community.

Tamara Dawn Koen: It’s interesting because women come from different places. It might be a woman who is all of a sudden experiencing empty nest syndrome. That can start in the 40s for, you know, women in their 40s. Um, it could also be a pivot in career. Maybe they’ve decided to move into something else or or they’ve been asked to retire at an age where maybe they weren’t quite ready. And sometimes you feel as though the rug is being pulled out from under you, and you’ve been perhaps wearing something, or not even knowing what your style actually is, and then going into a store and and saying, oh my gosh, I don’t even know what to wear because nothing fits and I’m so confused. I’d rather just stop. So women are coming from all different, different parts of of places in their lives. And what’s really great is that no matter what, we all come together with one thing. We all want to feel connected. We all want to be together with people whom we can work with, whom we can socialize with. We want to feel that we matter, and we have a purpose for being here. And it’s it’s very, very gratifying to know that I have just a, you know, a moment of their time throughout, throughout the day where they can lean back or lean in and say, wow, this is really incredibly helpful for me. And that’s really where our, our, our program begins. And it doesn’t end. It begins and really continues. Because what what is so incredibly heartwarming for me is that I’m bringing in women from all different avenues, all different parts of life where they’re saying, you know what? This is not the end. This is just my next chapter and I still have so many more chapters to go. And that’s really very exciting and gratifying at the same time.

Lee Kantor: So how do you deliver and serve your community? Is it via one on one coaching? Are there cohorts? Are there kind of community events and things you work on together? How does a person experience, uh, Tamara and her and the other like minded folks?

Tamara Dawn Koen: Right now we’re really doing one on one consulting, and that is something that we’re in the process of creating a community that will be an online community, and that’s coming very soon. But right now, I’ve been working with women individually, and it’s been a very organic process because we all come together, as I said, from different, different aspects of our, our, our place in life right now. Some of us are still working, some of us are not working, some of us have been working as homemakers and mothers, and they’re coming in and saying, you know, I want to do something else. I want to do something new and I just don’t know what to do. So it’s really a an opportunity to distill what and discover what you like. It’s really it’s it’s funny in a way. So many of us have a difficult time even deciding what would we like for dinner when when asked or, you know, well, what would you like to do today? And most of us stop and say, oh, I don’t know, what do you want to do? So when I asked women, one of the first questions I asked is, what is it that you enjoy? What do you love? What do you look forward to? And they have a hard time answering those questions right away. And so we have a series of questions that we go through. And it’s a very organic discussion. And we’re able to distill what matters to them, what makes them happy, and what makes them want to take that next step and do something that makes them feel good. And it begins with very simple rituals, doing something new every single day and then practicing it every day. And it’s amazing. It’s very easy for most of us to create bad habits, but it’s just as easy to create good habits. And that’s what I do with the women that I’m so lucky to be working with.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re working with the women, can you just, um, share a little bit of maybe what those initial conversations are? Um, when a person raises their hand and saying, hey, I’m interested in learning more. What what does that onboarding look like? So a person could, um, get clarity to make sure that you’re going to be the one that’s going to help them get the outcome they desire.

Tamara Dawn Koen: That’s a really great question. For most women, the first questions that I will ask is, tell me about yourself and tell me where you are and what you’re doing and what it is that you’re looking forward to. Because looking for what you’re looking forward to is your purpose. And if they need a little bit of help and guidance, then I know we’re probably on the right track. And then I have a series of questions that I’ll ask on a daily basis. Tell me what you do. What’s what is the what time do you wake up in the morning, and what’s the first thing that you do? And once again, if there’s still a little bit of hesitance and not really knowing, I don’t know. I have coffee in the morning and then, um, well, you know, I get, I get stuck. Then we talk about stepping into some of the healthy, easy rituals, maybe have a cup of tea in the morning, maybe invite a friend to take a walk with you. And let’s talk about what it is that you like. What what what attracts you and how do you dress in the morning? What do you typically gravitate toward? And we start to gather all of the information as to what they’re looking for. It’s essentially guiding them to a pathway to discovery of what they actually like. And that’s where Shibai and ikigai come in, because it really is being able to identify what they really love and what they want to do, and how they can be rewarded and be rewarded. In many ways, reward can mean actually working and earning a paycheck, but it could also mean the rewards that you receive when you’re practicing some sort of philanthropy. And once again, the women that I speak with, most of them, if not all of them, really want to be a part of something and be a part of a community.

Tamara Dawn Koen: As we get into our 50s and our children, if we’re if we’re mothers and the children are out of the house and they’re perhaps in college or they’re just not around as much, they might still be in high school. But we feel as though, well, what now? Well, the what now is something that we really feel the need for friends. And it’s it’s not as easy to meet new acquaintances as we get older and as we step out of our, our roles, we’re moms. We’re we’re running around doing things for so many other people. And the women that I’m working with really want to want to feel that connection. Connection is something that we lose, um, we lose very easily when we find ourselves doing so much for others and we forget about ourselves. It’s the the what we hear on, on, on an aircraft when we’re flying somewhere. One of the first things they talk about is safety is when the oxygen mask drops. Put the oxygen mask over your own mouth first before your face first before you help someone else. Because until you have the oxygen and you’re you can take care of yourself. You can’t take care of the person sitting next to you or the child sitting next to you. So it’s just a good life lesson that we really enhance in our program to to learn to make sure that you are taking care of yourself and you’re able to be the best person that you can be so you can serve others, be it family or friends or other loved ones.

Lee Kantor: Is there a story you can share that maybe illustrates the impact of this type of, uh, consulting? Uh, don’t name the name of the individual, but maybe share the challenge that they were dealing with and how you helped them get to a new level.

Tamara Dawn Koen: Or, um, I had a woman who came to me and she was really feeling as though she had been working so incredibly hard on losing weight, and yet she still she could she still wasn’t feeling good about herself, and she could go into a department store and try on all kinds of clothing that didn’t work for her before. Now everything was fitting and she was able to buy clothing, but she just she still didn’t feel good about herself. And the reason, ultimately, the reason we found was that she didn’t have anywhere to go. So all dressed up and nowhere to go. And she didn’t know where to start because she didn’t really have that confidence. And so as we started to work together, she realized that even if she was planning an event that might not happen, just that excitement of having something to look forward to helped her take those next steps. So ultimately she ended up doing some volunteer work. She ended up volunteering in a theater community where she felt, uh, very needed. And she was. And she became very quickly, she became very much a part of the community. And it was a very, very quick process for her because she discovered that she had a purpose.

Tamara Dawn Koen: She had a reason for getting up in the morning, and she had a reason for getting dressed, putting on her makeup and doing her hair. And she became alive. And it was really being able to identify what it was that she loved. And the way that we discovered it was going back to when you were a child, what made you happy? And as it turned out, she loved being part of a theater group because she could be in the front of the house. She could be in the back of the house, she could be performing no matter what. She was always a part of the community. And that’s something that is very special For her. Very special for me as well, because we can all relate to that at one point or another in our in our lives when we really felt connected. And she has gone on to continue her volunteer work at at a local level for a community theater, and she sometimes she’s collecting tickets and she’s an usher, and sometimes she’s helping in the box office, and sometimes she’s helping as a dresser backstage. But she’s made, made, made friends, and she’s built a community around her that gives her life’s purpose.

Lee Kantor: So if someone out there is looking for confidence and purpose and wants to join the community, what is the website? What’s the best way to connect?

Tamara Dawn Koen: The classic style studio and on the website, uh, you’ll be able to find me. You’ll be able to just click on, uh, email. You’ll be able to join my social media and get to know, get to know me. And I’d be happy to chat with you if you’d like to, uh, to any woman who would like to visit with me and see if my program is right for them, and I hope it is. I’m I’m welcoming women from all over the country and, uh, ultimately all over the world and hoping to really, um, as we venture into building the online community, which, as I said, is in the process right now, hoping to build a community that will help lift other women, because as we lift each other up, um, we become a part of the greater good. And I think that’s something that we’re all looking to be a part of.

Lee Kantor: The classic style studio. Tamara, thank you so much for sharing your story today, doing such important work, and we appreciate you.

Tamara Dawn Koen: Thank you. It was so great to meet with you. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.