Dr. Melissa Patton: Leading Through Grit, Growth & Real-World Resilience

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Houston, Texas. It’s time for Houston Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Trisha Stetzel: Hello, Houston. Trisha Stetzel here bringing you another episode of Houston Business Radio. Super excited about my guest today, Dr. Melissa Patton, managing partner of Patton Consulting Group and the author of the Grit and Growth Workbook, a practical resource for passionate teams, emerging leaders, and resilient cultures. Melissa, I have more. Just a second. Melissa is a strategic consultant, fractional COO and transformation expert with more than 20 years of experience helping organizations scale with clarity, align people and priorities, and build resilient cultures. Her career spans industries like education, aerospace, Stem and workforce development always centered on one mission helping leaders grow through challenges, not around them. She’s known for her grounded authenticity and real world perspective, which is why I have her on the show. Dr. Patton brings both heart and strategy to leadership, whether she’s guiding executives through organizational change or trekking a mountain trail, she reminds us that grit isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about knowing when to recalibrate and rise stronger. Dr. Patton, welcome to the show.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Hi, Trisha. Hi, Houston. How are you guys doing?

Trisha Stetzel: So excited. And, you know, aerospace I’m sure was like, ding ding ding. I want to hear more. What’s going on with Dr. Patton? All right, so before we go there, tell us more about who you are.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah. Well, you know, you you said all the nice words. And from a corporate perspective, from a professional perspective. You nailed it. But at the end of the day, I just try to be a really authentic person. You know, I work with super stuffy people, uh, huge CEOs of multi-million dollar companies. Um, definitely that economic development arena, um, where I’m connecting people within industry, within academia, and obviously within workforce development. So I try to bring a little bit of fun to conversations. I try to jazz it up a bit, uh, probably to a fault. And, um, just to help people have really important conversations. Um, but I never take myself too seriously. And so I think that’s what I want people to walk away with, uh, when they kind of think about me and my leadership style.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, so how do you navigate that whole people thing, like the human, uh, human interaction is hard sometimes, and particularly when you’re working with bigger companies and people who they’ve got a mission, they’re on a mission, they have a thing that they need to go get done. So how do you navigate that with your Dr. Patton style in those workspaces?

Dr. Melissa Patton : Well, it’s just a title. It’s a lot of years of schooling. It’s just Melissa. It’s plain old Melissa. But you know, I really think it goes back to my background. And I think that’s why, um, I have found a place here in, you know, the Stem and space industry. Um, it’s because I’m not spacey or stemmy at all. Uh, I don’t even have a Stem degree. I have three degrees in essentially liberal arts. Uh, so there’s a component of me that has been talking and having conversations since I can always remember. Um, but it’s also understanding. It’s like a, it’s like a game of double Dutch, right? You know, figuring out when to get in, looking around the room, realizing when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to just listen and be quiet. Uh, and then also helping people be included in the conversation. I think that’s a big part of it. Um, but again, I am Melissa. I am learning I have just as much to learn in a conversation and in a meeting than anyone else does. And I’m excited to kind of soak it all in, um, and be able to give back my insight.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah, I love that. Just real true human conversations and putting everybody on a level playing field, right? I love that. I think that’s awesome. Um, let’s talk a little bit about your workbook. So grit and growth. Tell us what it is. And then I want to dive into a couple of parts of it, because I think we can pull out some good pieces or conversation around that.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah. So, you know, like most authors, you you come up with these ideas to author books based upon experiences, right? And I wanted something to be honest with you. When people ask me to come in and speak. I could have an authentic voice that complimented the experiences that I’ve had, but also was adjacent to what I was going through at that particular moment. And so I kind of thought about the Grit and Growth workbook just from a perspective of, now I have something to talk about on stages, right? Um, but it actually came out to be a practical workbook that people can use with their teams. I was super excited to see a post on LinkedIn from, from from a group that I love, absolutely love. Go Knights. Charge on. Ucf and there’s a few groups there that are using my workbook to go through team meetings, and that’s what it was for. It’s so that you can have those authentic conversations with people that are in your ecosystem, um, people that you’re doing life with. But at the same time, if you’re an individual and you’re looking to use that grit that you ultimately have to grow further, you can use the workbook for that as well.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, I love that. So before we dive into the content, uh, of the workbook, how did you find the time to actually sit down and write this piece of work. I know everyone who’s listening is like, I want to write something, but I can’t find time. So how did you find the time to do it?

Dr. Melissa Patton : You just do it. That is one of the questions that I don’t understand why people ask busy people that. Can I just say that out loud? Yes, yes, ask busy people. I’m never going to ask you. How do you find time to put all of these amazing people on a stage, amplify their brands? You just find time. And I think that’s what it was. It was literally a weekend where I sketched out the outline for it based upon things that I had been going through, experiencing and things that I wanted people to hear me say, um, out of my mouth. And then I just wrote, I literally just sat down and wrote, um, it was an exciting journey. Most people don’t know this about me, but I was actually an undergraduate English major. Uh, so I have a writing degree, but I have been doing technical writing for almost my entire adult career. And so this was a treat. And I literally found the energy and the excitement in writing by climbing mountains in Colorado. And that’s why the front cover of it, everyone’s like, is that you? And I was like, no, my husband’s just really good at putting together a piece of artwork. Shout out to Stanley Patton. Uh, but but no, it’s not me. But it’s definitely an image of of someone that looks a lot like me, kind of looking out over the atmosphere and just taking it all in and soaking it all in. So it’s a longer answer to your question, Trisha, but it has a lot of levels.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. No, I love it. And I love your initial reaction to that question, which is, in my words, just take action. Just do it. I get asked all the time, how do you do all the things that you do? I just do, uh, because they don’t sit around and worry about what’s going to happen if I do this thing right. Um, so take action. That’s the bottom line. All right. Um, Excellence has a contingency clause. That’s something that’s in your workbook. So what does that mean for leaders navigating uncertainty.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah. You know it’s a pretty simple answer but it has a really long explanation. But essentially excellence is not it’s not something that’s given. And just because you want it or just because you put yourself in a position to to be in an excellent kind of role or position or opportunity, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to happen the way you expect it to happen. But the beautiful part about that whole experience is the journey, and it’s about the different levels that you hit, the different layers that you peel apart, and it’s about how that’s making you a better version of yourself. That is probably one of my most favorite quotes, uh, because it’s so it just affirms everything that’s going on with me and the continuous process that I have as I grow and as I deal with grit and growth and trials and tribulations and And adversity. So I want people to realize that just because excellence doesn’t drop in your plate, um, on your lap, it doesn’t mean that you can’t operate in excellence. It’s just a process.

Trisha Stetzel: So you brought up adversity, and I’d love if you would share. So, um, you I’ve in your book or you have talked about or posted about adversity can be a catalyst for growth. So will you share a time when either you, uh, came to a turning point or one of your clients through this adversity and really helping it change the trajectory of where you’re going?

Dr. Melissa Patton : So how much time do we have, Trisha? I’m kidding. I’ll give you the short version. So when I speak on this, I. I call adversity a dirty word and I put it in explicatives. People crack up laughing. But those are all the type A perfectionists in the audience that are laughing. It’s hilarious because I know exactly who they are. Um, but one of my most memorable adverse situations, uh, it happened on just a normal day. It was two weeks before Christmas, about 17 years ago. Uh, everything was absolutely normal. And I’m sitting in front of my computer watching my three year old play with cars and trucks on the floor, and a call comes in and it’s my senior vice president, and I’m literally doing the running man in my office, because what senior vice president calls you two weeks before Christmas and doesn’t have the congratulations, you got a promotion. So I was thrilled. So, you know, I kind of like did my hair a little bit. I clicked the button. And on the other end of the call was someone that I didn’t even recognize. Her face was extremely pale. Uh, her voice was very monotonous. And she said, I’m sorry to let you know, Melissa, but as of today, your services are no longer needed. Your position has been eliminated. And I’m looking at her like, you know, like, okay, where’s the punch line? And at the same time, I feel the water, the tears welling up in my eyes. And from that moment on, it was like a 15 minute call. I have no idea what she said. She was talking about insurance. And you can get this and you can do that. And all I heard was like I was swimming underwater. It literally sent me in that moment through five stages of grief.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Trisha. It was the most devastating moment, and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had done everything this these people told me to do. They asked me to join boards, I joined boards, they asked me to have great measures as far as, you know, promotion for promotions and things like that, and I killed it. And lastly, they asked me to go on and get a Dr.ate, and not only had I gotten that Dr.ate, but I was excelling with it and doing a lot of things to amplify the brand, so it didn’t make any sense to me. And when we talk about adversity, we need to realize that adversity. It’s it’s where the grit is kind of born, right? So how you deal with that adverse situation is going to ultimately determine where you go and how fast you get there. And so I realized after three buckets of eating ice cream and a lot of beers and Kleenex, um, that I needed to do something about the problem. I’m not going to just sit around in my pajamas all day. And that was actually how we started Patent Consulting Group 17 years ago. It started and birthed out of devastation, out of anger, out of frustration. And that is the story that I tell a lot of the people that I coach. That’s the story that I tell a lot of people when I go on the road, because they need to realize that while you’re in the moment, you have to do something. You can’t just live in it. Uh. I’m sorry. I’m super passionate about that. I can laugh about it now, but I could not laugh about it even ten years ago.

Trisha Stetzel: No, as you were telling the story I have to tell you, I got goosebumps three times. I don’t know if anybody’s ever told you that before, but I. I was sitting there with you as you were telling this story about what you were expecting the call to be and what actually happened, like, but then you took action, right? You ate your ice cream, you use the boxes of tissue. And then you said, what can I do with this? What can I do with all of the work that I’ve ever done? And you took action was what we talked about a few minutes ago. If you want to do something, if you want to get something out of what you just learned, take action. Go do the thing. Okay. Um, before we move on, I would love because I know people are already ready to connect with you. They want to get to know more about Melissa. They want to know.

Dr. Melissa Patton : More.

Trisha Stetzel: About what you’re doing. Uh, what is the best way for listeners to connect with you, Dr. Patton? Peyton.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah, yeah. So I’m on LinkedIn. That’s probably one of the number one ways, uh, people link in with me. And I’m not one of those people. They’re like, oh, you’re an you’re a stranger danger. No, I love to talk to new people, whether you’re a student or whether you’re a seasoned professional. So hook up with me on LinkedIn. I also have a website, uh, Dr. Melissa Patton. Com or Patent Consulting. And those are two really good ways to learn more about some of the work that I’m doing and learn how to get connected with me.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, very exciting. And that’s how I found you as well. Linkedin said you should know this person. And I said, okay, yeah, I love that. Yeah. I’m not a stranger danger person on LinkedIn either. You never know.

Dr. Melissa Patton : What she’s good.

Trisha Stetzel: Exactly. Okay. Um, you guys, of course, all of the links will be in the show notes. So if you’re sitting in front of your computer, all you need to do is point and click. You guys can connect directly with Melissa. And now I want to dive into, uh, a little deeper, like challenging that threshold of pain, something that you have in your work book as well. So how can leaders tell the difference between the discomfort that leads to growth and the kind that leads to, uh, burnout?

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah, it’s a fine line. One thing that I will say is that everyone needs to be coached. Uh, can I just be honest there? And this is not because Trisha is a coach or I’m a coach or you’re you’re, you know, your neighbor’s a coach. But there are reasons why there are so many coaches who are instrumental in helping you deal with different, different and difficult thresholds of life. And sometimes we need somebody to help as a differentiator. And so if you don’t have an executive coach, you need to get one immediately. And they’re very different than therapists. Okay. Um, everyone needs a coach. So I say that as a segue to help you understand that, yeah, burnout is a real thing. Um, but also threshold, if you look at the definition of threshold and there’s lots of definitions, but the definition that I love the most is when you’re pushing yourself past a point of comfort, you’re pushing yourself past a point of comfort. And it’s how far do you push before you’re going to kill yourself versus when you’re going to get to the next level. And the best way that I can amplify this, I don’t know if I have any athletes out there, but I’m an avid runner.

Dr. Melissa Patton : I’m terrible at it now. But in college, I was a Division one athlete. Okay, I can’t sprint anymore, but one of the ways that I knew that I was hitting my threshold and not hitting a point of pain was right around the last part of my race. I would feel what I call the monkey on the back. Okay. It’s literally like someone just jumps on your back and it pushes you past a point of what you’re familiar with. That is the threshold of pain that I’m talking about in the workbook. It’s it’s dealing with that thing on your back and realizing that you still have to finish strong. It’s going for that promotion and realizing that even though there are whispers, even though there are people saying that you’re not ready, even though the questions are hard in the first and second interview, you still need to you need to push forward. Okay, so that’s what I’m talking about. When I talk about thresholds of pain, burnout is something totally different, and burnout is what is going to help. In order to prevent yourself from a burnout. You need a differentiator, and you need somebody in your corner that’s going to be able to identify what those signs are.

Trisha Stetzel: Oh yes, yes. And more of yes. Thank you for just being blunt and telling everyone they need a coach and we all need one. I need a coach. You need a coach. Everyone needs a coach because we need that. I think that’s describing the monkey on the back. Although I don’t want to be a monkey. I’m kidding.

Dr. Melissa Patton : It’s whatever that thing is. Trisha.

Speaker4: The thing that pushes you to take.

Trisha Stetzel: Action for gosh sakes. Right? Sometimes our, uh, the people that we coach just need permission to go do the thing that they’ve always wanted to do. And that’s where the coach comes in. It can be something that simple, right?

Speaker4: Hundred percent. All right.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, we’ve talked about it, but we haven’t said it yet. Resilience. Resilience is the backbone of transformation. And how? Balancing the strength that we need to take action and move forward, but also the vulnerability to have the conversations or meet people where they’re at or get a coach. So can we talk more about resilience and strength and vulnerability?

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah, I mean, resilience has a lot of different words. Uh, stick to it. This is probably one that you’ve heard. Perseverance is another one that you’ve heard. I promise you, I’m not going to give you any football metaphors or any track analogies when I describe this. But isn’t sports a really good way to talk through resilience? I really feel like it is. And and even if you’re just someone that likes to go out for a jog, you know, pushing yourself past what you’ve done previously, getting a better time, uh, hitting a point in your career where, you know, it’s either time for me to be stagnant or it’s time for me to move forward for my next level. And and I do. I always caution people when I have conversations. These conversations are not for everybody. Not everybody is going to be excellent on the level that the person to their left and the person to their right is you make that choice. You ultimately are in charge of your destiny when it comes to your level of excellence and my level of excellence and what I’m pushing for and the goals that I have, and the resilience that plays into that is very different than Trisha’s. And that’s not a good thing. Or it’s not a bad thing, it’s just a thing. So you have to realize that this is your own lane and that you control that next step. And it’s going to take grit. It’s going to take resilience. It’s going to take stick to itiveness to fight through those barriers that are preventing you from moving forward. It’s actually really good for you, I promise.

Trisha Stetzel: So we’re all we’re strong here. We’ve been just telling it like it is. Let’s go take action. What where does vulnerability come in to being a good leader?

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah, in every single way imaginable. I, I have to work on that a lot because even though I’m a very transparent, very blunt person, like, this is how I, this is how I manage a team. Um, imagine that. People are like, whoa, really? Yeah. I mean, the people that are on my team, the people that I work with, they appreciate that about me. It’s unapologetic, but being vulnerable to my team showing weakness are like you’re talking to a Division one athlete. I’ve run competitively my entire life. I mean, there were Olympians in some of my races. So y’all, I’m not going to show you that I don’t have my stuff all together, right? Like, that’s what I’m thinking in my head. But that vulnerability is what’s necessary for people to really see you sometimes. So pretending like no one is listening to this. There are levels to this thing. So there are places and positions that I put myself in where I am completely, 100% real. Melissa. And then there are places and times where I need to protect that. That’s where I need to work. I need to be able to trust the experience and to lean into it and not be someone different in different arenas. And to be completely honest with you, that’s what my coach is working with me on. Uh, I need to be authentic, Melissa, every time I go into a room. And for me, that entails vulnerability.

Trisha Stetzel: Okay.

Speaker4: Yes. This is so much fun.

Trisha Stetzel: I really appreciate.

Speaker4: Uh.

Trisha Stetzel: How raw you are about everything. This has been such a great conversation. Um, can you tell me your favorite client story? We’ve talked about transformation, and we’ve talked about leadership and burnout and, um, challenging the threshold of pain. What’s your favorite client story?

Speaker4: Oh, gosh.

Dr. Melissa Patton : So I need to put out a disclaimer on my clients. Right. My clients are bad, mama jama. I mean, these are like, I’m so biased, but these are, like, some of the people that are going to, like, take over the world one day, right? These are your future multi-trillion dollar CEOs. And I don’t know why they talk to me, but I get more out of it, I swear, than they do. Trisha, it’s so much fun. And one of my clients, um, and she’s going to know exactly who she is because I talk about her all the time. Um, but she’s just. She’s just fun. And she’s got two IV, uh, you know, degrees, and she’s down to earth. She’s gorgeous, she’s intelligent, but she is someone that you can have a real conversation with. And our journey in coaching, number one has lasted way longer than both of us expected. Um, but number two, it’s one of those relationships and those conversations where we’re just going at it just one after another, and it just builds and builds and builds. And obviously I’ve seen her do some incredible things from when we started, which has nothing to do with me. I just ask questions and I open the door for her to be honest with herself. But she’s now having conversations about what does it look like for my next what? Who do I want to be when I see that next? Uh, I don’t need any more degrees, but where do I need to surround myself as far as continuing education? Um, how do I get on the big stages? How do I get on the boards? And so those are the kind of conversations. And so I like her because she’s a real person. And you would never expect someone that’s as decorated as she has to be. So down to earth.

Speaker4: Mhm.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Best client ever.

Speaker4: Best client ever. And uh, I see a.

Trisha Stetzel: You’ve been on this journey with her and I know as a coach, like we learn so much from our clients and the journey that we take with them, which is so important. So thank you to all of the clients out there and the coaches who serve clients. Okay, last but not least, as we get to the back end of our time, you’ve spent your entire career helping leaders find strength in adversity. We talk about that in your workbook. If you could leave our listeners with one lesson about grit growth, leading with authenticity. What would it be?

Dr. Melissa Patton : Yeah. Oh, I, I think it would center around showing up, you know, kind of be mindful of how you show up. Um, one of the things that my coach worked with me on, uh, was out of a really bad situation. And how do I have the strength and the resilience to show up as my true, authentic self, regardless to what the C-suite looks like, regardless to whether the conversations are going to the left or to the right. But how do I be the most consistent, authentic Melissa? And that is probably my mantra. Um, he was obviously an amazing coach. He still is an amazing coach. But that’s always my mantra when I am having conversations with my team and when I’m having conversation with my clients, it’s, how do you show up? Who is your authentic self and how do you take that person everywhere you go.

Speaker4: Mhm. Mhm. Okay.

Trisha Stetzel: We don’t have another hour but I.

Speaker4: Wish.

Trisha Stetzel: We did. This has been absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much for joining me today Melissa would you please one more time tell people the best way to connect with you.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Absolutely. And before I say that Trisha you have so much energy. Um, we made a joke before this call started, and you have exceeded expectations. You’re amazing. She’s at the top of the leaderboard, y’all. I love that.

Speaker4: And and this is my true, authentic self.

Trisha Stetzel: Like, there’s.

Speaker4: No freaky.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Things.

Speaker4: Going on here. This is I love it. Yeah, yeah. So you want to capture.

Trisha Stetzel: Before you go there that you have said y’all twice. So you fit right in, my friend.

Speaker4: Right.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Can I come to you?

Speaker4: Yes.

Dr. Melissa Patton : Absolutely. Too funny. Alright. Yes. You can find me on LinkedIn and you can also find me at my website dot com and at consulting. I look forward to seeing you all there.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah, fantastic. Melissa, again, thank you so much for your time today, you guys. That’s all the time we have. If you found value in this conversation that I had with Dr. Patton today, please share it with a fellow entrepreneur, leader, veteran or Houston leader ready to grow. Yeah. Uh, be sure to follow, rate and review the show. It helps us reach more bold business minds just like yours and your business. Your leadership and your legacy are built one intentional step at a time. So please stay inspired, stay focused, and keep building the business and the life you deserve.