Courage is Not Impossible: Making Fearless Moves

[0:00:00] Betty Collins: So I’m betty Collins, and I’m here with you today. And it’s an exciting day because this is year five of our podcast. I can’t believe that we have been doing this this long, but we are. And this year we are going to do something. Really, our theme is going to be centered around courage. And my guests and my interviews and what I’m writing will be about courage and being courageous. Those are two different things. Today’s, a moment. I believe that we need courage as well as we need people, especially women, to be very courageous. We live in times that are a little unsettling. Don’t worry, we’re not going to talk about pandemics and all the things that are terrible. My mom will tell you her generation, she’ll be 86 in March. They showed a lot of courage. They had unsettling times. They were courageous.

[0:00:51] Betty Collins: We could learn from that generation for sure. But what is unsettling to you may not be unsettling to me. It’s different. And courage is not always about the big stuff, right? So today’s podcast, this is about you. And where do you need to find courage and be courageous? This is an area that’s very hard for me. I’ll be very honest with you. Let’s not confuse courage with confidence. But I confuse I confuse courage with confrontation. I see it being hard. I see it as big. And it’s only where you’re climbing up a hill on a very hot day. I see it as something I have to muster up, and I see it as has to be emotional and a little sexy, right? It may be those things, but at in the day, I have to step back and I’ve been able to see it totally different.

[0:01:48] Betty Collins: I need courage and I need to be courageous in the every day. I’m just an ordinary person doing ordinary things, trying to be extraordinary, I guess. And I do have some big things I’m looking at, but I think it through first, and then I’ll execute those things. So courage can be defined as a lot of things in the strength of what it’s strength in the face of what to you, for me, it’s strength in the face as exhaustion. As a business owner, I mean, my clients are exhausted as well as business owners, my team is exhausted. So strength in the face of exhaustion, strength in the face of my health. Because 60s is coming very quickly. It’s daily. It’s never ending. What I did yesterday for my health is only for yesterday. And then transitioning out of my career, which, by the way, is going to be a while, and doing some of those wants, that’s pretty scary stuff. It’s going to take some courage, and it’s going to be taking some being courageous. Courageous can be defined as the ability to do something that you fear. It’s a mental or moral strength to do something. You fill in that blank.

[0:03:01] Betty Collins: It’s about soaring. Okay? It’s acting on one’s belief. Sometimes you just do it and you get it done. You don’t have to think about it. Having courage or being courageous is about being fearless or maybe fearing less. You need to think about that a little bit. And of course, being courageous, it undertakes whatever that is for you, boldly and it’s not lessened by difficulty. So those are some things I think of when I think of having courage. But being courageous is taking that courage, that badge, right, and being ready and willing to do. You fill in the blank. It’s doing something. And I didn’t say not without fear, but in spite of fear. So what holds you back? What holds you back from courage or being courageous?

[0:03:56] Betty Collins: For me, it’s plain and simple. It’s fear, like most of us, and I’m learning to confront it head on or I’m just going to do it afraid. But not having courage or not being courageous is not an option that we should be in today’s unsettling times or in today where you are going along in the path of your journey, whether it’s in your career or in your families. Also, another something that holds me back, quite honestly, is exhaust. It’s that overwhelming lifestyle that I’ve created, by the way, and built. Where have you, though, been complacent and you just played it safe? I did that in all aspects of my life, all my life. And honestly, until I was 38 and kind of had a reset and a meltdown, I was very a safe player. I was very much complacent. And I look back on those times and it seemed like it was easier and that it was okay. But did I really accomplish maybe the things I should have or wanted to? What are the barriers for you in not taking on courage, not taking on a challenge? Maybe it’s other people’s opinions, maybe it’s complacency, right, that I just talked about failure, your past, maybe emotions, they’re just the bad ones that get the best of you. But it’s time to push through those barriers and take on a courage challenge. When you have the will to push through a courage challenge all the way to the end, you did it.

[0:05:29] Betty Collins: You’ll feel fantastic on the other side. So my company, Bradywear, has a women’s conference each June. In fact, this year is year ten. It’s June 16 in Columbus, Ohio. And last year we had an amazing speaker, cindy solomon. She was the keynote for lunch. And wow. In fact, I’ll say that backwards. Wow. She nailed it and had to create a culture of courage. And that’s what she talked about for her. She wrote a very, very simple book. And it looks like this. It has yellow tabs and it’s highlighted. But it is the courage challenge workbook.

[0:06:06] Betty Collins: And it has been so impactful to me personally and professionally that I wanted to share it with you. So when I’m speaking a lot of today from here on out. It’s from the heart and mind of betty Collins but it’s really from a very courageous woman. Her idea is cindy solomon. Check out her book on Amazon. I would tell you you need to read it, you need to download it and you need to figure out how to incorporate a book club or lunch or something and learn with your team. It really is kind of very easy and hard all at the same time. It’s simple but it’s impactful. So think about your team in business, your social circles or your family or maybe your community and find the courage to be part of the everyday. You’ll see amazing changes and it’ll be for the good in today’s world. As I’ve talked about, we need courage and people, certainly women, not just the courage, but you have to be courageous, which is action. So the first step is you got to choose what’s the courage challenge I’m going to take and you need to understand the why behind it. cindy solomon challenges you to think about courage. I’ve kind of talked about definitions and I’ve kind of talked about the things that are out there. But here’s what you need to say.

[0:07:16] Betty Collins: It’s personal, it’s personal. It isn’t what everybody else is doing, it’s what you’re doing. Courage is not what you think. What was interesting at our conference is she had people stand up that thought about something and really she said only 50% of you are standing up that are supposed to be standing up right now. So sometimes courage is not what you think. Courage is not a superpower where we are wearing a big chest with a star and superman. It’s not that we think of courage as that’s the only thing that’s out there. But courage can be learned. So that’s the good news for you today. And here’s some tips when you’re picking out your challenge, because picking out the challenge is the hardest part. What am I going to do with courage and being courageous but tips, you got to be realistic and constructive. It’s got to be energizing but it’s also going to be a little uncomfortable probably and you have to be very clear, very specific. So here’s an example of a challenge. I wish I had the courage to ask for a pay raise. Okay, first you got to also go why do I want the pay raise?

[0:08:24] Betty Collins: Do I need the money or recognition? We all need the money. There is never enough. We’ll all take it, right? But really it could be more about recognition than it is about the money. So why do you want to have that? So when you’re making up your challenges or you’re thinking through that challenge where you need courage, you got to get to the heart of the why with it. That’s part of it. Here’s another example of a challenge that I’m trying to work through and get specific on and doing the things that she says, I wish my team would do what I want and get on board. Is that a very good way to say it? Probably not. I want the courage to inspire my team so that they see my vision. Why do I want that? Because right now, business owners are exhausted. They’re tired.

[0:09:12] Betty Collins: And this is one part of our country that needs to work, and I don’t want to see it slip away. There’s passion behind that. But I need the courage to do some different things. I need to be courageous with those business owners so that they will see to hang in there, they will see that it’s a journey and they’re going to make it. So that’s tough stuff. And so it isn’t the everyday accounting, it isn’t the everyday stuff. I need some courage and I need to be courageous and ready and willing to move it along. There are four types of courage that I think you need to be aware of, and then you know how to use them. Because there’s all kinds of courage. There’s blind that leap of faith. You go for it. If you are saying all the time, hey, that sounds like a lot of fun, it’s probably a blind type of courage. It’s that leap and it’s okay. Leap of faith is not what you do all the time. That’s why you need to know blind courage is just the impulse.

[0:10:12] Betty Collins: Maybe, hey, can’t hurt to do it. The other kind of courage, number two, is crisis. It’s completely instinctible. It’s life and death. It’s a pandemic. It’s PPP funds, it’s idle funds. It’s ERTC funds. We got to get this. And it’s not meant forever, by the way. It’s just for the moment because you’ll be exhausted if you live in crisis. Courage, it’s for what it says. It’s for a crisis. Here’s the one that has stuck with me, that has challenged me the most, and that is role courage. And it reads like this in her book. I love this line.

[0:10:51] Betty Collins: The confidence and fearlessness you experience when you fully understand the part you play in a particular situation. And that implied power and the responsibility that comes with it. And when I think about that, I think about I’m an owner in a company with 150 people counting on me to lead well. I’m a cpa advisor to over 300 people that need me to know that I’m confident and I’m fearless, and I play a role in their success. That’s called role courage. That’s what has spoken to me the most. And then there’s the core. This is good for cpas because it’s a step. You have a very clear vision of where you want to go. You’ve mapped it out, and you are so confident in that vision that you’re open to everyone around you jumping in with you, contributing, criticizing, accepting, praising, so that that vision becomes reality. It’s a core. It’s a long term type of courage. It’s not the blind faith. So that’s why it’s really important to know there’s different types of courage and there’s different types of when you use them and when you utilize them. So it’s time to tackle your courage challenge.

[0:12:10] Betty Collins: It starts and ends with only you. As I said before, it’s personal, right? So step back and take some time to figure out your challenge. That’s the hardest part of the step for me, the blind leap of faith in the crisis right now, that’s not applicable today. I’m not in a crisis. I don’t need to just jump. I don’t need to just get out there and go, I don’t need to go have fun. Right? For me, right now, it’s the role and it’s the core that I’m dealing with. The role is inspiring these exhausted business owners to stay the course with my team and what do I play in that and what’s my responsibility? And the core is about my transition. That will happen over the next five years as I changed a little bit about my life, right? Because I’m 60 or I’m going to be, and I’ve got some new ideas and I’ve got some new passions, and I want them to become reality. So core courage is what I need to invest in. There’s a really, really great method that is in her book that I would challenge you to get a team together and read through.

[0:13:14] Betty Collins: And it’s called Snap. Snap. And it’s inspired by cher in moonstruck. If you remember, the slap of the face where she goes Snap out of it kind of came from that. But Snap is about stopping, stepping back. Notice what triggers the things that you need courage with. Act. Use the right type of courage in the right moment. Praise yourself, which I don’t have problems doing that for me. And then process it, look back and go, wow, we really did it. It’s a really cool method. It’s a cool framework. Again, these aren’t my ideas and I want to claim them, but they’re really impactful. And because this year is about courage for me, I’m going to stick in this book for a while. And the book has really great ways of phrasing things where it works, where it doesn’t.

[0:14:01] Betty Collins: It’s cool stuff, but I’m grateful for getting to know cindy solomon, and I’m grateful that I dived into her workbook and she’s challenged me to take the challenge of being courageous. Having courage, I think it can change you as well. I would highly recommend to her as a keynote speaker, by the way, we’re a facilitator in your organization. Buy the book now. It’s got some great quotes in it. I’m going to read them to you and I hope that they inspire you. I hope that there’s something you go, wow, that helps me today. Courage is like any other muscle. If you’re strengthened by use, in other words, practice by Ruth Gordon, have the courage to write down the dream for yourself. No one else. You. Success doesn’t come to you. You go to success. Life shrinks or expands in the proportion of one’s courage. That’s probably my favorite in the whole book.

[0:14:57] Betty Collins: I’m going to read that one again. Life shrinks and expands whichever you choose in proportion to one’s courage. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we can fear less. And things are only impossible till they’re not. So I challenge you today to take the courage challenge. I challenge you today to dive into courage and become courageous. Have been ready and willing to do what needs to be done in your world, in your business, in your family. I’m betty Collins. Be courageous today. You’ve got it.