Courage In Ordinary Moments: Taking Small Steps Towards Big Dreams with Farah Ismail

[0:00:00] Betty Collins: So today on inspiring women this is a first for my podcast. I’ve been doing this for four years, this is year five and today I have my first international guest. So I am really excited. We’ve already been doing a lot of chatting but we got to get to this interview and you’re going to love, just love the energy that comes from her. Her name is Farah Ishmael and she’s an international ashley recognized facilitator, coach and speaker. She’s the founder of Interacting Consulting and she partners with entrepreneurs and leaders who find themselves frustrated imagine that. And unfulfilled despite outward signs of success. And when they work with her, they imagine their business. They craft a lucrative purpose driven enterprise that delivers more confidence, more connection, more revenue and more meaning. You’re just going to love this list, lady, I know you will. So welcome today and tell us just 2 seconds a little bit about yourself. I know we’re 18 hours difference in time, we talked about some Ohio connection but you can take 30 seconds to tell us a little bit about you.

[0:01:12] Farah Ismail: Thank you, Betty, it’s my pleasure to be here. Well, I’m thinking of what to tell you. Let me share that I used to introduce myself as fearless para and I think I have that fearless gene in me thanks to my parents who brought us up believing that we could have impossible things for breakfast. So there was no limits when I was growing up and of course that’s how I live my life. It’s really that limitless thinking and anything is possible. So I’m pretty fearless. But over this journey of dispute, thank God, life. And we had a series of rollercoasters and I would say that I’ve experienced the highs and the lows and I knew what fear is and I’m not fearless. I just realized that I fearless. I love it and that’s what I want to say. That to me, despite of the fear, it’s about taking inspired action and it comes through courage. So I would say I’m a courage catalyst.

[0:02:16] Betty Collins: There we go. I love it. See what I’m saying? It’s just going to be this way the whole time, I’m telling you. But our overall theme this year for the podcast is courage. And so can you tell us how courage showed up in your life?

[0:02:38] Farah Ismail: I think first, courage is something sometimes we think courage is really these big things but for me it’s ordinary day courage that I notice wherever I want to look. So I think if you start looking, you’ll find it everywhere. And for me, every day is an opportunity to perform a small act of courage. So it’s possible. For me, where it really showed up was at my deepest, lowest point. I think it was a personal story when I was I had a series of life changing incidents in my life that really came in the way of having a really successful marriage and I stayed stuck for a long time. And I kept telling myself that I was trying, but I think I was really not trusting myself that I could really take action to choose how I want to live my life after that. And I think it was that one day, and I think it’s a long time ago, I must tell you it was 2006. I can’t forget that moment. It was a summer, it was a morning when I woke up and I had this feeling that I actually looked at myself and I knew that this is it. And that feeling of choosing, trusting, choosing myself and deciding that I am not powerless, but I can actually choose to create the life I want to create. I think that required an immense deal of courage, that ability to just step out and take that tiny step. And I did that. And for me it might sound like a big thing, but I waited a long time. And that’s when I was able to walk away from an unhealthy relationship with a six year old daughter, a computer and nothing else.

[0:04:47] Farah Ismail: So I started my life from scratch. And I can tell you I was afraid. I was scared I had lost all my confidence, but I had this immense belief that I could make it. And I just told myself I could do it. I had it inside of me very all this while. That’s how I was when I was younger and until I came to that moment in life. And I just find that all of us have this inside of us. Sometimes we lose sight of it. And I think when I gave shone a light to that and decided to do things like even asking for help, even that is an act of courage. And that is where it all started. And I would say that after that, I reframed everything in my mind. Things like when I felt that, oh my God, my marriage is a failure and that I reframed it as it is a metamorphosis. This is what I’m doing to write a new chapter. So I think it was all those little things every time. I kept telling myself I’m alone and trying to stay stuck and trying to do everything like a superwoman.

[0:06:07] Farah Ismail: But when I shifted that, it required a lot of courage to seek support. And I had lots of it. I just was not allowing it inside my life. So I would say that I think courage showed up in many ways, but it can be with small things as well. It could be speaking up. Speaking up from your heart is also a big thing. Being vulnerable is another big thing.

[0:06:34] Betty Collins: Yeah, every day the ordinary. There’s courage all day long. And I like how you say you got to sometimes just start looking for it and you’ll find it. One of my favorite movies is Julia Roberts and it’s eat, love and prayer in some of those orders. But eat, love and pray is what I think it is. One of the moments in the movie, she said, I just want to slip away from the life I created. I had every part of creating every part of this life, but I want to slip away from it. And she finally had the courage to do it, and a lot of women don’t. So it doesn’t mean you’re terrible and you’re not courageous, but man, choose the courage path with it, just like you did. We all have the AHA moments in some areas that are major, right? But good for you. My goodness, courage showed up. I’m so glad. I’m sure you haven’t looked back. I’m sure you just continue to look forward.

[0:07:33] Betty Collins: So that’s awesome.

[0:07:35] Farah Ismail: Let me just add something there. I just want to share this for anyone who’s listening, that I shared that big moment right then. There were other moments as well, so you knew you it’s something. It’s like swimming. You need to swim to learn swimming. It’s by couraging. So it’s like one step at a time. And it’s not like the big thing I spoke. There were smaller things I did to reach there. And I just know that when you actually tap into these reserves that you have, it’s a muscle. We continue building it, but I just think it’s about making that tiny move, like stepping outside and finding something that will help you to try something else. Take a small risk. That’s where it lies. I think it lies in the gap between your thought and your action. You can choose it.

[0:08:33] Betty Collins: There absolutely great insight. Just wonderful. Courage is like a muscle. You got to work out to build it right? You got to practice. And it’s not always easy. And sometimes taking the little steps can be just as hard as the big one. But at least you’re taking it, right? At least you’ve got courage. You’re putting it out there. You’re doing it. So that I mean, great answer to the question, but what would you say is the book that transformed your life and business?

[0:09:12] Farah Ismail: I had a really interesting opportunity to write a book inspired by a book that changed my life. And so I wrote a book. So I have it right here. It’s called The Book I Read. And it is one chapter which is based on a book that changed my life. And I want to share that. I just shared the story of how I came out of these tough moments and then I continued to believe that I am a superwoman, that I needed to be perfect, perfect mom, because I really wanted to not make any mistakes. I wanted to be very courageous in my business. And what I was doing in that is in this quest for being this perfect without making any mistakes, et cetera, I realized that I was really numbing myself with a lot of things. I was really putting on a lot of armors. And while you would see me as really coming out strongly out of a tough experience, rising standing up tall with lots of self respect and living a life that anybody would see, wow, just look at her. I was again going into this paraly of trying to be very like the super, super woman until I had the opportunity to read a book of Dr. Brene Brown. It was dare to lead. And I must say that I had a partner in this journey who I met in Hong Kong.

[0:10:59] Farah Ismail: And we both realized that we had some amazing vision for creating something for women leaders and we took a year to live the work of Brene Brown. So this whole book and the course that we did on there to lead, we actually lived it ourselves. So I can say that the book that transformed me was Brene Brown’s book, which then helped me to become vulnerable, that then helped me to really deal with grief. I mean, I had thought I should hide my grief of losing a child. I lost a child in the beginning and there was all these things that I was hiding. And then I realized that who I am is becoming, is the one who is going to choose to be comfortable with being authentic. And that’s when I started doing all this work. And of course this took off as many armors as I can. So the book really helped me to create the kind of work that I do to show up authentically and to also help others to do that. And I just am very passionate about that. But I do want to add one more thing. This book helps me in living my life. And there’s the book that is changing my life right now. And I love to share the name. It’s called The Ultimate Coach and it’s by Amy Harterson and Alan V. Thompson

[0:12:40] Farah Ismail: It’s a book about who you are being. And it’s such a powerful book because you don’t read it about the number one ultimate coach in the world. Who’s Steve Artisan. You don’t read it about him. You read it about you. So in the book you find yourself, you find your aspirational self. And it’s changing who I am this year because I can choose. It’s not about what I want to do, it’s who I want to be. And the being is everything. So I want to say that that’s the second book that’s changed my life and also changing how I’m going to operate and I’m continuing to get transformed by it.

[0:13:25] Betty Collins: Well, we definitely want to get those books. We’ll get them to our readers, our listeners, excuse me, so that we can make sure that they are tapping into that. I’m a huge reader. Love to read, love other perspectives. Because sometimes you just need to get in someone else’s brain, right? You need to see what they’re thinking to help you be able to do it on your terms, not theirs. The book, though, that you wrote, the chapter, and can you put that up again? Because I want readers to see that as well. The book that transformed me, is that what it’s called?

[0:13:58] Farah Ismail: Yeah. I’d be happy to share that. Of course, you can download this on my website, which is https://www.coachfarah.com/ There are two books that I’ve written, and one of the books that is my favorite is very short read, but it was very powerful. Read it’s. Five Secrets of What You know, really helped me to be daring and being unstoppable in my business and my life. So I share five things that really serve me every day. And I would say that it’s such a beautiful read, and I’ve created some small what can I say? Some creative exercises. So you would actually do that for yourself. And I would say that I’m hoping that it will inspire you for the next step of your journey, wherever you are.

[0:14:48] Betty Collins: Okay. We will make sure we get those things out when we definitely have this podcast loaded, because we all can support each other. And one of those ways is, hey, read this or do this or try this. Right now, you work with entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs are my favorite, and I just love the marketplace. I love the economy. I love it when people can take an idea and a passion to make it into reality. But it’s a lot of work to be an entrepreneur. It takes a lot to be a leader. So one of the things that in the last, certainly ten to 15 years is everyone’s got coaches, right? Okay. And they needed them. It’s a huge thing, especially when you want to go to new levels. But tell me more about your group coaching program.

[0:15:39] Farah Ismail: So I love coaching because I love to be a catalyst for change, and there are opportunities to do one on one coaching. However, learning in community is very powerful, and it happened during the pandemic when I created a group coaching program called Courage to Sew. Of course, you know now that the theme will be Courage, because I believe that we can’t become what we need to by remaining what we are. And so I created this exclusive. It’s my signature program, which was really helped at that point. It was only for women, women leaders, women entrepreneurs, women changemakers to help them unlock courage and really write a new chapter of their life and be braveful and purposeful. When I started, it was a short six week program, and now I have created it into a three month program and a twelve week program in which I would say that this program is for you if you are here for transformation and not information. You enjoy breaking the status quo and are willing to take action, and you’re willing to really test new things in your life, sometimes creating the impossible. So I find that this program is very powerful and the women who went through this created some quantum leaps in their life and shifted incredibly because they had an opportunity to really have a huge self discovery and a clarity of direction and understanding their personal power. So I would use two things that is really leading from within and then also looking at how you create that impact in the world. So it’s a very structured but very creative program that pushes you. And so if you can’t handle being uncomfortable, this is not for you. If you want to know one, two, three steps to follow, well, you know, this is going to surprise you. And if you’re unwilling to go deep and this is not for you. So I find that I normally have one cohort a year and I do it once because the rest of my time is really doing it’s quite full.

[0:18:07] Farah Ismail: So I’m actually launching the 2023 Cohort in March. Okay? And so, yes, I’ll be happy to share the link if anybody wants to have a conversation with me to get to know more about it. But it’s something that I would say has impacted many women and I love it as well.

[0:18:27] Betty Collins: Anytime we can get resources to help and have great outcomes right, and impact that we want to do it, we want to tap into it. I mean, you could tap into a lot of things, but what’s great about not great about a pandemic, but I will say during the pandemic, I used to do everything with my podcast locally, right? Then people were like, I need to get on the air somewhere. And podcast became this massive thing. It was already a big thing. And so I always like being in person, but I found myself that I can do online things like this and still get a lot out of it. It still comes down to what you want to do and do you want to go dig deep? I like that. If you don’t want to dig deep, don’t do this course, right? But you’re going to launch it tomorrow. Okay.

[0:19:17] Farah Ismail: If you want to create the impossible, this is where you should be because you don’t want to have any limits. So you have a beautiful community to be actually doing it as well. And I love coaching people to get there. Yeah, create that life coaching.

[0:19:32] Betty Collins: And I’ve done it various times in my career and generally it’s because there’s a want, but it always results in something because there’s a want and desire to coach. You have to want to be coached, right? And you have to want to be teachable taught. But it sounds like a really great thing. A lot of good things came out of COVID in one of those, which things like this, right? So let’s move a little bit to something a little more personal property. But what is the failure story that you would be comfortable sharing with us today?

[0:20:11] Farah Ismail: Well, firstly, it’s how I look at failure. I have a lot of stories of where I have failed personally and professionally. I look at failure as an opportunity for me to see it as fuel something that’s used me to take a pause and see what is really happening in my life then. And I think for me this is really personal because I recently discovered that a lot of times I was judging myself and I was judging myself for something like, okay, so I must give you a back story that I truly enjoy having unhurried moments, me time. So creating that space for myself and creating boundaries, I really like that. And sometimes I find that in my family or in my closed circles, others are extending themselves so much that I feel like I judge myself for choosing myself, right? So I was really beating myself up and I didn’t realize that it was a nap. It was playing so deeply in my mind that I was judging myself like someone who is not available for family at times and I was feeling inadequate at times. Like I’m not like the others, they live overseas and they’re more available to my parents on the call. So I would play all these games in my head and it really took me down and in a way that I would probably not choose to create that spaciousness for myself and try to be different from who I am. And I think that the day I realized that I was doing some really deep work with a coach when he asked me to forgive myself for judging myself and to write down all the ways in which I judge myself and to forgive myself for that. And once I drove all that and I realized if I was the truth is. So when I was looking at one statement and I was changing that to what’s the truth there? Because you really have to dig deeper to see what’s happening because otherwise you’ll continue doing the same thing. And that’s when I really figured out that when I dug deeper that the truth is I reimagine renew myself powerfully every day, every week, whenever I need that.

[0:22:59] Farah Ismail: And that’s when I own that I stopped judging myself. So I want to say that my failure is for this long, not realizing that forgiveness is such a big thing. When you learn to forgive yourself, you just leave that old version, all the narratives and you just choose to be the most powerful version of yourself. So today no one is worthy of my judgment, even myself. And all everybody is worthy of is my love and my respect. And when I keep that foremost and that I renew myself every day, I don’t feel that sense of blame, shame, et cetera. So I want to say that that work I did for a long time, I felt like I was failing my family. Of course I found an antidote. So I wanted to say, it’s very personal, it’s very deep work, but it can be done.

[0:23:58] Betty Collins: I love the way you say that. I found the antidote. That’s a great way to say that. I have a really good friend and her two kids are in their 20s in that adult. They’ve launched, they’ve done their thing. And so she was telling me the day she said yeah, she said, yeah, she’s getting her MBA right now. I said, oh, and what? She goes in life, she’s falling down and she’s learning how to get up right now. And I thought, she goes, she’s had a big failure, she had a big fall, but she’s going to learn. And I thought, how a great way to describe it, right? But at least she’s getting up. It sounds up, but the antidote, I like that. Find the antidote. The other thing I think of, as you were talking, you said, you know, the conversations in my head. And I tell women, if you want to get more sleep, then start getting the conversations out of your head, which means you’ve got to confront something or you’ve got to get in there and go, hey, why am I having these conversations in my head?

[0:24:57] Betty Collins: Like, you, I think I’m a failure, I must be a failure. You’re always having that conversation with, you right, if we want to get more sleep, we got to quit having conversations at two in the morning.

[0:25:08] Farah Ismail: I want to add something that’s beautiful, what you said. Yes, we have the power to plant the seed. So if I say I’m inadequate, I’m planting that seed, who am I going to be inadequate if I plant the seed? And I chose who I am going to be, that’s what I’m creating. So I can create myself every day. So who I’m being is really important. So if I tell myself all these things, that’s what I’m going to get, right? That’s the tree which is going to bloom. So I would say that, really think, get rid of all those stories and plant new seeds and that’s what you want to do.

[0:25:50] Betty Collins: That’s a great way to say it. So, audience, are you listening? Women, are you listing? This is good stuff. This is stuff that you couldn’t really apply. So what do you feel like your year and beyond looks like? We’re in 2023. It’s time we keep going. We keep saying, well, we got through this, we got through that. But how do you see your year and how are you going to go forward?

[0:26:21] Farah Ismail: Thank you. I love that question. 2022, I started the year by saying I’m going to fall in love with disruption. And what I did over the year was I disrupted myself many times. I disrupted my thinking, my beliefs, what I was doing. I disrupted and started speaking. I just wanted to disrupt myself and try new things as well. So this year, as I started. Of course, I’m being a loving disruptor in my life, but what I’m choosing this year is a word called which is freedom. Just freedom to create from the space of abundance, freedom to be me, freedom to coach in a way that there’s huge impact. I just choose the word freedom. And this year is very exciting for me because I am, of course, stepping into a space when I am creating new programs of the year, creating who I want to choose to work with, just becoming a lot more clearer and of course, speaking all across the world. So I’m hoping to see you in Ohio sometime. But the year is exciting because I’m stepping into really having intentional creating my legacy. So I turned 58.

[0:27:56] Farah Ismail: I just turned 58 and I always think about what am I going to leave for my beautiful 23 year old and for the people I love. So a lot of the creation this year is to be in that very beautiful space of creating for your legacy and impacting the world in a much, much bigger way. So I want to say that I’m in a very creative space. Thank you for asking, Betty.

[0:28:24] Betty Collins: I’m turning 60 this year. So I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy and how do I want to I’m not saying end a career, but transition into different things, right. That I feel like can be something that people will go, yeah, that’s amazing because I tell my kids all the time, my legacy is not going to be a bank account for you. My legacy is really going to be hopefully you will continue and follow the generations to come of what I have taught you and what my parents taught you. And they’re great because they want to just experience things that’s that generation. Right. We just want the experience. But I love the way, though, you say I’m creating, but I really like I fell in love with disruption that I’m going to think about for why I really like that thing. But I do want to end with this question with you. What are the things that I was so attracted to? Your LinkedIn, I believe it’s on your LinkedIn. I just thought this quote and it’s just played in my mind, but you say, who am I to do this? And I think your coach asked you that, who am I to do this? And I thought, what a great question. Because the first response should be, why not?

[0:29:50] Betty Collins: Why not am I to do this? Right? You have such great answers, though, and such a great insight. But I love the question. I want to end with it because I want women to think about who am I to do this today? So can we kind of end with something about that?

[0:30:08] Farah Ismail: Yeah. First of all, I want to say thank you for looking at my LinkedIn. That’s where I like to spend some time and realize that that’s a space that you can also impact a lot of people by showing up as you are. So that question, and I want to say that when you reflect on something, take action. So when I actually reflected on that question, I wrote it down and then I said, oh, my God, I have to share this. Otherwise if I keep it to myself, I’m not going to be able to touch someone’s life. So today when you share this, it makes me feel like it’s so important to show up. I think I would say that one thing that is like my GPS and my compass is to be brave enough to use your voice, bold enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to live a life of your dreams. So when you hold on to that and you also choose to find someone, don’t do it alone. Do it with someone. Have someone who’s there with you. Enjoy that journey. That’s really where you get your fulfillment. So look where your path is. Are you enjoying it?

[0:31:40] Farah Ismail: What would you really need, what you need to be this year to create a life of courage, a life that you want to lead, which is extraordinary? Just ask yourself that, stay with that, and I think you will find some answers.

[0:31:58] Betty Collins: We need courage right now. We need tons of it. We need people to be courageous, especially women. Well, it has been such a pleasure to talk with you today and have just some discussion. And I would really to the audience, I’m going to spell her name out, but it’s all on the show notes. But it’s F-A-R-A-H. Farah is spelled I-S-M-A-I-L. If you Google that name, you will find amazing things about this woman that you really can learn from, I can tell you. But I appreciate you being I appreciate you taking the time. I appreciate that you’re 18 hours either behind or ahead. I don’t know which one it is and that you’re with us today. So I know that my audience will go away today feeling good and be challenged. So thank you so much.

[0:32:49] Farah Ismail: Betty, it’s been a pleasure talking to you and kudos to you for having your first international.

[0:33:00] Betty Collins: All right, have a great day. Thank you so much.

[0:33:03] Farah Ismail: Thank you.

[0:33:04] Betty Collins: Bye. Okay, so what we will do is we will get with you on when this is going to be, when we’re going to do this and you’ll hit you here. I think I probably will tell the producer.