BRX Pro Tip: Stop People Pleasing
Stone Payton: Welcome back to Business RadioX Pro Tips, Stone Payton and Lee Kantor here with you. Lee, today’s topic is something that I personally struggle with because I get a lot of emotional compensation for engaging in this. I’m talking about people pleasing.
Lee Kantor: Yeah. There’s a lot of folks out there that are those people pleasing people that are always trying to seemingly want to help other people and seemingly kind of do whatever the person asks for. And people pleasing, in my opinion, is kind of a jerky move. You’re kind of being a jerk when you are taking on that people pleasing kind of tactic.
Lee Kantor: Because ultimately it’s not really about the other person, it’s about yourself. People pleasing looks nice on the surface, but underneath it’s really about avoiding conflict, it’s about managing how you’re being perceived, or you trying to manipulate or control outcomes. And that’s not true kindness. That’s being manipulative in kind of a polite outfit.
Lee Kantor: So, when you say yes but mean no, or you overextend yourself, or you avoid honesty in order to keep the peace, you’re robbing other people of your truth and you’re robbing yourself of authenticity. And it’s just kind of a form of dishonesty being dressed up as being virtuous. So, true respect, true leadership is built on clear boundaries, honest communications, mutual trust. It’s okay to say no. In some ways, it’s more generous than being agreeable just at your own or somebody else’s expense because you’re not pleasing anybody. You’re just making them resentful because you’re being disingenuous.
Lee Kantor: So, try to pause your people pleasing for a day or so and see what happens. You know, see what it’s like to just honestly deal with the situation. I mean, we have a philosophy at Business RadioX, bad news fast. We don’t want to just say yes and make it seem like everything’s going great if things are not going great. We want to deal with the issue when the issue occurs. So, try it on for size, less people pleasing and more honesty.
