How Authentic Appreciation Can Transform Your Workplace Culture

Intro: [00:00:07] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for Workplace Wisdom, sharing insight, perspective, and best practices for creating the planet’s best workplaces. Now, here’s your host.

Stone Payton: [00:00:32] Welcome to another exciting and informative edition of Workplace Wisdom. Stone Payton here with you this afternoon. Please join me in welcoming to the broadcast with Make a Difference Consulting, Alicia J. Alexander. How are you?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:00:49] Great. Thank you for having me this afternoon.

Stone Payton: [00:00:52] Well, it is a delight to have you on the program. Today’s topic authentic appreciation in the workplace. What is it? And, uh. And why do we care?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:01:06] Well, let me start like this 79% of people who leave their jobs do not leave because they’re leaving for money’s sake. They leave because they don’t feel they’re contributing to something that’s meaningful. And so as a business owner, you want to retain your staff and mitigate high, um, turnover costs. The best way to do that is to show them that you care about them. You recognize they are individuals and you recognize they bring value and appreciate your employees.

Stone Payton: [00:01:47] Man, that is a sobering statistic that, uh, I mean, in, uh, instinctively, everything you’re describing makes perfect sense, but wow. That’s, uh. Yeah, man, that’s a huge number.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:02:02] But that’s what the stats show.

Stone Payton: [00:02:05] And so but to get at this I mean there’s, there’s the attention to the individual. But we’ve got to, to to to sustain maintain this. We’ve got to impact the the whole workplace culture, don’t we.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:02:21] Absolutely. Yes. The best way to do that is what I, um, from a book that I teach is called The Five Languages of Appreciation in the workplace. And why that is significant is because each one of us have innate value, intrinsic value. But we need to speak to that intrinsic value with authentic appreciation. Um, there are five, um, languages of appreciation, and we all have a primary and a secondary. And um, if you’re ready, I can go into that more if you wish. Well, I.

Stone Payton: [00:03:01] Do want you to go into it because I’m. I’m curious. Like what? Maybe what mine is like, what do I want? Right. So. Yeah. Absolutely.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:03:09] Absolutely. Well, the first one is called Words of Affirmation. That’s saying a meaningful, positive word more than just good job. It speaks to what the person is contributing to the work environment in a positive, affirming way. And 46% of the population have that as their primary or secondary language. The second one is called quality time. That’s like hanging out with the with the colleague or your circle of influence on the job. Um, just spending quality time. The third one is access service. That’s being able to recognize somebody needs a little assistance, and pitching in and doing it in a way that they would want it to be done just to say, hey, I recognize you’re doing something here. You need a little help. I want to help. The fourth one is tangible gifts. Nothing extravagant because it’s in the workplace, but something that’s meaningful to that person that you’re giving the gift to. And the last one is physical touch. Now, physical touch is limited in the workplace to handshakes, fist bumps, patting the bats and high fives. Nothing more than that.

Stone Payton: [00:04:36] I’m glad you clarified. Makes perfect sense. Uh, and so I’m kind of thinking through the team and the way we’re structured here at the Business RadioX network. We work with other entrepreneurs and various communities, and they’re licensed to run their own business, radio X studio, in a given community. They don’t really report to me, but it’s still a it’s still a cohesive team. We have best practices. We you know, we share what we learn in our own communities. And, you know, we had this this great kind of, uh, community of practice, I guess. But I think as you’re laying those out for me personally anyway, uh, both from my client base, my, the guest who come through, uh, the one of the studios that I personally, uh, work in and, um, and from my business, radio X family, I think I’m part of that big number of, uh, hadn’t really thought about it, but I the words of affirmation, I that’s probably a big one for me.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:05:37] Wow. You know it. There’s two ways to find out if you really want to know what specific languages yours. We do ask for what we call the managing body, um, appreciation inventory assessment. And, um, we can give we can have you take an assessment to find out how do you like to be appreciated, from whom you want that appreciated and how you convey that you, you desire appreciation? Um, it’s it’s probably like a 20 minute test. Um, our assessment, um, but it gives you accurate information. And the other way you can find out is just have a conversation with your circle of influence. Hey, you know, I’m I’m thinking about such and such. How do you feel about being appreciated? What do you like?

Stone Payton: [00:06:31] It makes a lot of sense to me. And it sounds like like fun work if you and rewarding work if you can get it. It is. But what’s the back story? Alicia, how did you get into this line of work?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:06:44] Well. Presently, I’m a doctoral student at Grand Canyon University in Arizona, Phoenix, Arizona. Um, albeit I live in Rhode Island. Um, I’m doing my studies online, and my major or my program of study is organizational leadership with an emphasis on organizational development, qualitative research. And so the fact that I had the opportunity to work with people and specifically, specifically, um, work cultures is very much aligned with what I’m studying. Um, I intend to graduate in 2025 with my doctorate, but having this opportunity to offer and to, um, affect change in organizations is right aligned with what I’m studying.

Stone Payton: [00:07:36] So the next time we do this, it’ll be Doctor Alicia.

Speaker4: [00:07:40] Doctor A yes.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:07:42] I intend to have it like that.

Speaker4: [00:07:45] All right.

Stone Payton: [00:07:45] So let’s talk about, uh, let’s talk about the work a little bit. You’ve got these five languages, I think of appreciation. You refer to them. Tell me about the work. Like you come into an organization and what happens?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:07:58] Let me give you a little history about the five languages of appreciation. Doctor Gary Chapman, that many might recognize for the five love languages took this concept of the five love languages. After being persuaded by many people in the different various industries to the workplace, and he partnered with Doctor Paul White, who has a tremendous business acumen. So together they got into companies like Miller Trust Credit Union. They worked with people and Hines Barony’s major organizations across the country and actually across the globe. So what happens is they’ll ask the question, and if you don’t mind me, I’ll ask you the question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel appreciated by your circle of influence.

Stone Payton: [00:08:57] When they refer business to me, or tell someone else about how much they’ve enjoyed being on a show or working with me. Yes. Yeah, that’s that right there. That that that makes it for me.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:09:10] Okay, so from there, depending on the size of the organization, we can give them the assessment and find out the different languages that each of the employees have, as well as giving them information about each language more than just saying what the name of the language is and, um, the percentage of the population that have it. And actually, as we get if we’ve given the assessment, we can specifically say to the organization, what percentage of your workforce has that particular language and derive a plan to say, okay, when this person is in need of appreciation or would refer somebody to say, let’s use the word words of affirmation as an example or perform a Board of acquisition, um, affirmation. They will have some kind of cue or something, um, that says on there like a little. I don’t want to call it a plaque, but like a little sign on their, um, cubicle that says, these are my languages, you know? Um, uh, you’re open to, you know, appreciate me anytime, you know, something like that. But it opens, it gives the opportunity to communicate. And that’s what I want to use. Communicate that appreciation to the employee with that specific language, i.e. words of affirmation, in a way that you know at any time, colleague to colleague, superior to subordinates or to employee, um, communicate that that word of, of of affirmation. So they all understand that, you know, when we recognize you are valuable, you are appreciated. And we thank, you know, thank you for being here, participating with us.

Stone Payton: [00:11:24] Well, and that’s the thing though, right? If you’ve got a team of any size and complexity, you’re going to have them all over the map, right? You’re going to have some that really lean into words of affirmation. Absolutely. And so.

Speaker4: [00:11:35] That’s why.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:11:36] That’s why having the sign there is, um, on the cubicle. She works for knowing who and which, um, appreciation language applies to that person.

Stone Payton: [00:11:49] And then there’s knowing that and words of affirmation. And I might be able to come off the top of my head with a little bit of language to help me communicate that. But I’m operating under the impression that there’s coaching, consulting, direction, guidance in the book and maybe in training and facilitation.

Speaker4: [00:12:05] Absolutely. Yes.

Stone Payton: [00:12:06] On how to do it right?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:12:08] Absolutely, yes.

Speaker4: [00:12:11] So, absolutely.

Stone Payton: [00:12:12] You’ve been at this a while now. Uh.

Speaker4: [00:12:14] What’s yours?

Stone Payton: [00:12:16] What’s the most rewarding for you? What’s the most fun about it for you?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:12:21] I love talking about it, I, I educate, I coach, and I speak on the subject of authentic appreciation in the workplace. I, I love three. I say I love the education, but I like the speaking more.

Stone Payton: [00:12:37] So so you’re out doing, like, uh, doing talks to groups of people and speaking on on this topic.

Speaker4: [00:12:44] Yes.

Stone Payton: [00:12:45] So what is that like? Like, is it ever I always ask this of, you know, people who do professional speaking. Is it a is it a little bit nerve wracking to get up there in front of a bunch of people and, and remember.

Speaker4: [00:12:55] What to say?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:12:57] I enjoy it, it’s, um, ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed being on stage or in front of people. So, um, it doesn’t make me nervous or anything. I just enjoy it because I feel, especially with the authentic appreciation in the workplace, I’m doing something to help them, you know, my my, my audience. And so when I convey. Um, knowledge. I’m empowering my audience to make changes or see value in what I’m saying and and implement it in their daily lives or the work lives.

Stone Payton: [00:13:40] And your writing too, right? Like you contribute to to other pieces of written work on this topic and others. You’re you’re a busy lady.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:13:50] I try to be. Keeps me out of trouble.

Stone Payton: [00:13:54] So how does the whole sales and marketing thing work for this? I mean, do you find that people are is your phone ringing and they’re coming to you because the book is so popular? Or do you find that you have to have some sort of sales and marketing strategy to get into the conversations with the executives who can write the check to have you come in and help them.

Speaker4: [00:14:15] Was a little bit of both.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:14:17] It’s, uh. It’s, um. Strategizing as well as receiving inquiries. Um, I like the strategizing more, though, you know, being able to send out a post on social media or, um, speak as I am now, um, to a general audience. Um, it’s really I think it’s really rewarding and very effective to communicate, um, topics, you know, on this topic of authentic appreciation in the workplace.

Stone Payton: [00:14:53] And they don’t let just anybody read the book and go out and start teaching it. Right. Like you went through some sort of formal certification process to be like the the ordained facilitator and get the lapel pin and all that, right?

Speaker4: [00:15:07] Yes.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:15:08] And maybe not the lapel pin, but to be recognized, um, recently, uh, Doctor Paul White and I was on Voice of America, um, together and had sort of like how we are doing now on a podcast. So to be able to be in the presence of, um, with Doctor Paul White, um, was really rewarding, very rewarding to hear from him because, I mean, it’s one thing to read the book, but to actually sit and be on a podcast with the coauthor, it’s like, wow. So I was excited about that.

Stone Payton: [00:15:47] I’ll bet. Well, I don’t know when you would find the time, but, you know, pursuing your doctorate and and doing this work and the writing and the speaking, but, uh, what what, uh, passions, interests or hobbies do you pursue outside the scope of this work? Do you do you nerd out about anything else, or is it all heads down around this stuff?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:16:10] Well. I’m very active in my church, which is Awakening Church in Smithfield, Rhode Island. Um, and I love being around my family, so anything with my daughter or my son wants to do, I’m with them, you know? So make time for family. Sort of like the Mary Kay Cosmetics people put God first, family second, and all else that follow after that, you know.

Stone Payton: [00:16:34] Well, you know what? It brings up an interesting topic, and I think it’s probably quite related. Everything you’re learning and teaching with regard to the five languages, I suspect there’s a great deal of application in your personal and family life for practicing this as well. Yeah.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:16:55] Yes, yes. Um, my daughter is very, very much a professional marketer. And to be able to help out with dishes or, you know, um, help out with her, with my granddaughter. Um speaks of quality time, access, service. Um, just giving her a kind word. Words of affirmation. So yeah, I do practice it in my in my personal life as well, I’ll bet.

Stone Payton: [00:17:26] All right. Um, I want I’d like to wrap if we could, around maybe just a few. I call them pro tips. Some things for us to be thinking about. And look, guys, the the number one pro tip is get your hands on this book, reach out, have a conversation with Alicia, somebody on her team, you know, look into the the training, the consulting, getting your hands on the assessment. But between now and then, maybe some things that we ought to be kind of having our, our eyes and ears open to some additional things we ought to be reading, maybe even some things we ought to be conscious about, uh, doing or not doing that will help us get a little bit better, you know, just right after we are done listening to this conversation.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:18:12] Oh, absolutely. Um, I want to share that, you know, since Covid, our workforce has changed. Um, we have remote workers, we have hybrid workers. We have those who are in office.

Speaker4: [00:18:28] And the one, um, organization.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:18:30] And it’s important that we convey appreciation to each type of employee, whether it’s remote, whether hybrid or in office. And so finding an opportunity to have just, you know, a beginning conversation about authentic appreciation and how they value appreciation in their work, how it makes a difference in the organization.

Speaker4: [00:19:00] Um.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:19:01] It’s it’s a big deal. You know, it’s it’s a contributing factor to retaining your employees as a business owner and for the employee to valuing and being participatory in the work environment. The work culture.

Stone Payton: [00:19:18] Well, and that’s a word that you have used several times in this conversation. And I don’t want to gloss over it, but you’ve gone to some lengths to always use the word authentic, and I’m sure a person can sense whether they’re doing it, um, consciously or not. They can sense pretty quickly if you’re just kind of handing out a little quick platitude versus genuinely expressing appreciation in the language that’s best for them, there’s a lot to this authentic piece of it, isn’t there?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:19:54] Yes, yes. Um. Um, there are opportunities where people will there be the supervisor, manager, owner or employee? Will not feel that they want to show appreciation. But sometimes you have to discount your feelings and go ahead and say a kind word or a nice gesture, or give a gift. Discounting how you’re feeling. Because feelings follow actions, you know. So, you know, it’s important to just realize that you have. An opportunity to. Convey honest feelings as far as showing appreciation.

Stone Payton: [00:20:47] And finding something to genuinely appreciate them about. I don’t guess you’d have to appreciate every single aspect of them 20 47A day, but I bet you could. I had a mentor that used to call this, uh, good finding, you know, like there’s something you can appreciate about virtually anyone. And and if not, then maybe it is time to revisit and free free up their future. But for in most situations, there ought to be something you can appreciate them. Appreciate about them. Right?

Speaker4: [00:21:11] Absolutely.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:21:12] Absolutely. Yes. Um, and you know, no one is 100% evil and no one is 100% good. So there’s always going to be something that you can appreciate somebody for.

Speaker4: [00:21:26] All right.

Stone Payton: [00:21:27] So what’s the best way for our listeners to learn more tap into this book. Uh, maybe get their their hands on, get some access to the assessment, have a conversation with you. Is there a website or a good way to connect with you?

Alicia J Alexander: [00:21:41] Yes, I can be reached at (401) 601-3207 or Alicia Alicea at Make a Difference Consulting. Com and the website is make a Difference consulting. Com.

Stone Payton: [00:22:01] Alicia, thank you for investing the time and the energy to visit with us this afternoon. Thank you for your insight and your perspective and keep up the good work. What you’re doing is is so important and can have such an impact, you know, in any given moment, but well beyond that. Thank you for joining us.

Alicia J Alexander: [00:22:22] Thank you so for having me. I really appreciate this opportunity.

Stone Payton: [00:22:26] My pleasure. All right. Until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Alicia J. Alexander with Make a Difference Consulting and everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying we’ll see you again on workplace wisdom.