HVR_07022025_CynthiaBentzenMercer_1.mp3

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here. Another episode of High Velocity Radio in this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer, who is the Founder of Bentzen Performance Partners. Welcome.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Thank you so much, Lea. It’s good to be here.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am so excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about your company. How are you serving folks?

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah, so I spent over 30 years in corporate America and then had the opportunity to really turn that that time and my passion into serving individuals and organizations. Basically, I work at the intersection of strategy and soul. I help people find what they love to do and make a living at it. And I help organizations figure out how to find those individuals so that they can be high performing organizations.

Lee Kantor: So do you work primarily with organizations or do you work primarily with individuals in their career?

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah, so I work with CEOs and C-suite executives that are really around succession planning, organizational structure. But a large part of what I do is work with women and men, one on one executive coaching, helping them figure out how to be release their full potential in either the career that they’re in or in a lot of cases. I’m working with individuals that are feeling restless and seeking something new and different, helping them find their way.

Lee Kantor: Is there kind of a triggering moment that they come to a realization that, hey, I need some help here, maybe I ought to contact the executive code?

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah, unfortunately, it seems to be that that’s when I get the phone call. You know, it would be wonderful if individuals were seeking executive coaching before. They’re feeling restless. Think about any professional sports team or professional people in the entertainment business. You know, most of us have a coach to really continue to hone our skills. Unfortunately, in the business world, oftentimes we we do put it off until we get that that tugging feeling. And our research has found that women in particular are so busy with their head down, working hard, supporting everyone else around them that at some point they look up and they think, oh my goodness, the world has kind of passed me by and I have more value to add, more talent to offer, and I’m just feeling kind of stuck or stagnant. And that’s that’s usually when I get the phone call.

Lee Kantor: Now it’s interesting you brought back brought up sports because I never looked at it kind of holistically in this manner. But pretty much in any professional sport, that person has a coach, and it’s just perfectly logical for them to have a coach like no one thinks twice about it. And they proudly walk around with their coach at their side. But people in business, especially at the levels you’re probably dealing with, they’re probably making more money than those athletes are for the most part. A lot of them. And they are hesitant to partner with a coach. Why do you think there would be such a disconnect where it’s so commonplace in one environment? But in another environment, it’s unusual.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah. And you head on a really a really important point too, right? Well, they’re they’re making a ton of money in the sports professional fields, as you mentioned. You’ve got executives making multimillion dollar decisions that are affecting not only themselves and the organizations that they’re running, but the livelihoods of others. Um, so there’s a lot at stake. It’s it’s a it’s a high risk environment for a lot of individuals. You know, unfortunately, I think the disconnect is when we think about a quarterback or we think about, um, you know, a pitcher, for example, or even a singer or an actor. And it’s really visible that natural talent is so visible. You know, we have coaches to correct the golf swing or to really fine tune, um, elements of the physicality, but that’s all raw, natural talent that they’re continuing to develop. And it seems just really intuitive in business because it’s so hard to put your finger on natural talent without a really clear understanding. I think people are misinformed to think that just time in the job is enough, and then almost that there’s a embarrassment about having an executive coach. I have to often talk to executives about the fact that this is the most important thing you can do to continue to unleash your potential and grow exponentially. This is not I don’t do a remediation coaching right. I don’t work with individuals that that are broken and need fixed. I work with high achievers that want to fully exercise their incredible potential.

Lee Kantor: And it’s. Isn’t it unusual, though, for them to be proactive and hire you before they need you? Really, but just to kind of maintain their skills and to have that sounding board and that, uh, you know, kind of fresh eyes on things, I, I would think that in their work they, they do some coaching themselves and without thinking, but it isn’t kind of as intuitive to hire a coach for themselves. It’s just interesting to me kind of how how they eventually get around to it, a lot of them. But it isn’t kind of an easy move or a go to move early on.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Right? Right. It usually happens when they are up against a challenge or a barrier or feeling, as we said earlier, sort of stuck or stagnant rather than saying, where can I find somebody that’s at the top of their game that has the kind of credentials that can really push me to think bigger, to step out of my comfort zone, to see things from maybe a different perspective. Um, obviously we rely on the people around us. We create great teams and surround ourselves with great talent. But there’s there’s something unique and different by having somebody who’s purely objective from the outside, that in a safe space is pushing you beyond what you think you can do.

Lee Kantor: Now, do you think that something that might improve this whole relationship between high performers and coaches is if more and more organizations just kind of had coaching as part of what you get when you work at this company. Like if more and more people got to experience coaching, maybe even earlier on their career, they’d be it would be they’d be faster to, um, work with the coach as their career progressed.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Breast 100%. And I mean, there are there are some companies out there that have recognized the value in that. Um, far too few. However, um, thinking about particularly your executive team or individuals that are starting to reach that vice president and above level, they are making bigger decisions affecting more lives, impacting your budget differently. And it isn’t the skill and knowledge that they need to work on at that point, right? The skill and knowledge can be learned that that you can read a book, you can go to a class, you can you can consult. I mean, there’s a lot of places to to build your skills and knowledge. The executive coach really comes in from the perspective of having you lean into the non teachable is how do you take a creativity talent or a strategic agility talent or an influence talent that which is really part of your hardwiring and your DNA. And then working with an experienced coach. Figure out how do you develop that to exponential success, so that you’re really realizing all that you’re capable of, and not limiting yourself to maybe what’s comfortable, because we all struggle with pushing ourselves a little outside of what what feels comfortable from time to time.

Lee Kantor: Now, when you’re working with somebody, um, what how do you kind of manage their expectations when they finally have the courage up to to work with a coach? Now you have to have to be on the same page of what is possible, what is, you know, going to be like a longer term, um, kind of a journey. What, like how are you managing kind of, um, kind of the day to day. What am I going to get from this? Like, how am I going to see an ROI? I don’t know, are they even asking you ROI questions about this, or do they understand that this is kind of a you’re going to be in it for a minute. This isn’t going to solve your problems by the end of the week.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Right? Right. Both. And um, so absolutely. Um, it’s an investment. It, you know, getting a really, um, strong executive coach is, is an investment. It’s the investment in you and and your career and your potential, but also, um, organizationally, for those organizations that are, uh, pouring into and, and funding this for, for the people that they’re relying upon. For me, it really starts with it’s it’s a mutual commitment. Um, out of the gate, you’re going to get out of it what you put into it. So the very first thing that I talk about is really when we talk about coaching, it’s less about me giving direction, advice and guidance. It’s a lot about I ask a lot of intuitive, provocative questions we’re really getting underneath. Barriers that are holding the executive back. Things that are slowing their decision making or in some cases, times that they need to channel their passion differently and and slow down their decision making. What what we know is most people have most of the answers inside them, but they don’t have a safe place to really vet that in a way that they can be vulnerable. They can think through all the options and ultimately find the right end result. And so they’re going to make better decisions. They’re going to going to build a better team. They’re going to have a longer term strategy when they have a place to really, um, unleash all of that, that knowledge and not get in their own way. Men and women both have a tendency, women more so based on our research. Shows that men and women both have a tendency to second guess themselves, to put up barriers or filters just based on past experience or self-doubt. And so my job is to get them out of their own way, and the profitability and the performance naturally flows.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re trying to help somebody get out of their own way, what are you doing that through? Like a rhythm of a weekly call? Are you giving them homework that they do every day? Are you giving them certain tools that they implement, you know, during crisis? Like like what is kind of the deliverable to your clients? Mhm.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: So traditionally I meet with an executive every other week for an hour. That’s sort of the cadence with which we meet. And we start every meeting with two questions. What is the goal they have for that day’s session. And what does success look like. And we have established goals at the beginning of the engagement. Really, the shortest engagement is six months. We’re honestly generally just scratching the surface at that point. A year and beyond tends to be an engagement where we really start to gain a rhythm and see the results. But they can they come to that meeting with. It could be anything that’s in retrospect. I had a conversation that didn’t go well. I’m trying to implement something that doesn’t seem to be sticking. Um, so it could be past tense and we’re unpacking that. Or it could be a future focused. They have a big investor meeting. They have an upcoming board meeting. They’re making a big decision on an acquisition. They need to make a significant structural change. Um, and so the goal may be just getting some clarity around the path forward. And success would look like having that by the end of that call. So we work on very immediate in the moment Situations that they’re dealing with and finding the path so that they can move forward with those. And then we typically have a follow up on the next meeting. How did it go? What did we learn? Um, and then where do you take that? Where do you take that from here? In terms of homework, one of the techniques that I encourage every one of you listening is the seven minute pivot.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: And so what that means is you are spending seven minutes a day focusing on a key prompt that’s most on your mind that day. Most of us don’t take any time to just be quiet and introspective. And so, um, what I encourage you to do is you set a timer. We know neurologically that creates focus. It creates accountability. You set a timer, you get rid of all other distractions. You get a pen and paper. Because we know that that is the best way to sort of get thoughts out of our mind and onto paper and we start with a prompt like what is this? What is the one thing I feel that’s really holding me back in this moment? And then what is one thing I can do today? One small thing I can do today to move and pivot in a slightly different direction, to move forward, to start, to create some energy and momentum. And if you think about a seven minute pivot, when you’re doing your seven minute pivot every day, you are investing 2555 minutes a year. It’s amazing how much you can change the trajectory of where you’re heading. And so living into these prompts, when you take this time, you find that you have more control, more agency and more insight and clarity about where you’re heading.

Lee Kantor: So that’s one of the things you teach your clients is how to do this. Seven minutes exercise is in the morning or evening or doesn’t matter.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: It’s entirely up to. To you. The most important thing is you do it. That you do it. We know in for again studying men and women. Um, a lot of similarities in terms of busy chaos. Not enough time to to remain silent. And for different reasons. So the reality is, find the time in your day that you can unapologetically guilt free. Invest in you. Everyone can find seven minutes, right? And it’s more than five. Less than ten. And it’s just that moment to say, how do I move in a tiny way toward what I’m what I want and not feel like I have to make the giant leap?

Lee Kantor: And that’s a more proof of on the power of compounding.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Right? 100%. Yes. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: Now, you mentioned, um, men and women kind of separately. Is there a different strategies when you’re working with women than you have when you’re working with men?

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: So it honestly, it depends on what the goal of the individual. But what I will tell you is, having studied in my first book, now near next, we did a global study of women, professional women, five race ethnicities, four countries, a 25 year age span, multi industry background, all very successful. And the one thing we found specifically in uniquely among women around the world is that at some point and often multiple times, you grow restless, you feel stuck, you feel stagnant. And we uncovered that is because you feel un actualized. You feel like you have more talent to give, more value to add, etc. the difference with our wonderful male counterparts is culturally social norms, etc.. Men tend to be looking up, looking forward. Raising their hand, uh, putting their name in the hat. Women have traditionally been conditioned to put our heads down, work hard, and wait to be tapped. And because we statistically are so busy pouring into everyone else around us, whether that’s raising children, being active in our communities, we’re, you know, leaning into our spouse’s career or our partners profession is that that is a convenient opportunity. Right. So we we dutifully put our head down, we work hard, we pour into everyone else. And then at some point when it’s not too late, but definitely to the point of really feeling uncomfortable, we’re sort of frustrated with the fact that why haven’t we been promoted? Or why aren’t we in a different place from a salary perspective? And so around the bean answer to your question, oftentimes more often when I’m working with women, they are coming from a place of I have more that I want professionally, more aspirations that I want to lean into. And I’m working with them on intentionality more often when I’m working with men, um, I’m working with them on continued talent development, succession planning, um, strategic decision making. It sort of depends on where the client is showing up.

Lee Kantor: Uh, I interviewed a coach who coached women, and they brought something up to me that I had never heard of. But maybe you can kind of validate this if this is what you found as well. Uh, they said that when they work with women and a lot of women won’t apply for a job unless they have every single criteria of the job, where a man will say, like, I’ll figure it out. Like, close enough. I’ll figure it out. Number one. And number two is, if offered a job, the man will negotiate more times than not, and the woman will just say, yeah, it will just agree without negotiating.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yes. There’s actually some Harvard Business Review did a study years and years ago, and it’s been it’s been validated multiple times since that. Exactly. That that, you know, women tend to want to tick all the boxes. So if I can’t tick 9 or 10 out of ten boxes, I don’t apply at all. Just as you said, where men and I always say this, I say this to you, you know, you women listening it. This is not an indictment of men. This is we need to steal a page out of your playbook, right? We we need to we need to be looking up and looking forward and and leading with talent and know that we too, can learn and figure it out on the job, just as our male counterparts have the confidence to do so. And not only do we often do, women often not negotiate, but when when you do negotiate Eight. As women. It is apologetic. I’m sorry, but if it. You know. I really was hoping this or that. Um, rather than just explicitly negotiating the agreement I’ve had. I’ve had clients apologized to me for, uh, various things, wanting to negotiate agreement or move things around. And I’m like, okay, time out. The very first thing we’re going to do is we’re not apologizing for this. You know, I’m celebrating the fact that you have agency and that you are, um, looking out for yourself and you are advocating for yourself that is to be celebrated, not apologized for.

Lee Kantor: Now, when you’re working with women in this manner, is this something that is like an aha moment or is it something they feel uncomfortable with, or do they begrudgingly kind of go along with this when you bring this up?

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: 99% of the time it is, it is either an aha or it is a yeah, I know I really need to work on that very self. I don’t know that I’ve ever come across somebody that where it’s been begrudgingly, because they’re really coming from a place of wanting more and showing up, wanting to actualize their full and boundless potential and and a bit wondering why they haven’t yet. So it’s either a oh, that makes sense that that that qualifying language is holding me back, or my own limiting self narrative is holding me back and or they’re aware of it, but they just don’t know how to get out of their own way. And so we work on confidence. We work on using more affirming language. We work on their own narrative track, um, and for sometimes with minutes, um, and women. But it can be the opposite. Right. It’s, it’s sort of how do you channel that energy in a way that, um, people are going to be more open to and perhaps less off putting?

Lee Kantor: Yeah, I would think that, um, fear is holding the women back and overconfidence is holding the men back like. Bingo.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah, absolutely.

Lee Kantor: Like, the man thinks, yeah, I got this. No problem. And they don’t got this, and it is a problem. And the woman is not attempting to try because they feel like they they don’t want to screw it up, so they won’t try that.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: That is right. And again, that’s a generalization.

Lee Kantor: Right. Right. I’m not talking about every individual.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yeah. For you who you know you may be thinking well gosh that seems you know, that seems like a real line in the sand. But I would tell you statistically based on research and data. That’s absolutely right. And, um, in some ways, I’d rather say, whoa, you know, whoa than giddy up. I’d in some ways it’s, it’s easier to work with somebody. You’re trying to slow down a little bit, um, than than sometimes lighting a fire. Um, But. But when? When the ambition is there and you can see what is holding you back. And that the limiting narrative in your head is what is keeping you from really realizing all that you have to offer. That’s that’s when the awakening starts, and that’s when you really start to do the work and, and then see the fruits of your labor. And the beautiful thing for the individual, which is why I say work. I work at the intersection of soul and strategy for the individual. It’s self actualizing. It’s it’s fulfilling. I begin to make more money. I begin to see my aspirational goals come to fruition. And for the leader or the organization, this individual is high performing. They’re loyal, they’re stepping up. They can be part of your succession plan. So, you know, in this workforce that we have today. I mean, that’s a that’s a beautiful thing to have a highly engaged, high achieving individual with aspirational goals to grow within your organization.

Lee Kantor: Yeah, I would think that once you kind of get them to buy into what you see, probably clear, much clearer than they do, is that all of a sudden it’s an unlock. And now it’s like the sky’s the limit. Now there’s nothing holding them back. Is some of your work just kind of demonstrating to them? Like showing them like a portfolio of their successes so that they believe that they are worthy and that they can do the thing that they want to do.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Well, I do two things in that regard. That’s a that’s a really great question. One of the things that I find really helpful is to have my client create their highlight reel, not necessarily a video of that, but just for them to sit down. This is a great a great opportunity with the seven minute pivot. They can sit down with a prompt of what are the accomplishments I’m most proud of professionally over the last five years, and they create their highlight reel. So when you do that, you begin to really sort of recognize and affirm, wow, I really have done a lot of things that are pretty important and powerful, despite my own, um, lack of confidence at times. And so we talk about those things and really begin to have you see yourself in a completely different light. And then the second thing is, and this is in my my book that’s coming out in February, Human Capital Investment Strategy is that I am a social psychologist by background. I’m a huge student of positive psychology, and I believe everyone should be using predictive assessments when they’re thinking about selection and promotion. And so my clients have the opportunity to participate in a highly validated predictive behavioral assessment that looks at what are your natural talents, that hardwiring that DNA, that you can’t help yourself at spontaneous. It’s consistent. You do it with excellence, and it feels great when you’re doing it really, which is how we how we identify talent. And and then we talk about those superpowers, you know, we look at what are your superpowers and how do you lean into those superpowers to be the absolute best professional? Um, and oh, by the way, pat yourself on the back in that those those are uniquely your own and the opportunity to develop those to exponential success. Um, it’s right in front of us.

Lee Kantor: Yeah. I think it’s so important. I know this was something my wife did that I thought was brilliant. Um, Every year she worked with a big company in corporate America for many years, and she had an annual review. And that was very stressful for her because whenever they would happen, she’d have to remember what she did for the whatever that year. And instead of at some point, she said, you know what? Every time something good happened, I’m just going to put it in the folder. I’m just going to make a folder, and I’m just going to just put it in. I’m not even going to think about it. I’m just going to put it in a folder. And then when it came time for the annual review, she just takes out the folder. Right. And it’s like all these things that may seem little at the time, but you just look at them and you see this big pile that you’ve accomplished in a year. You can’t help but feel more confident. You can’t help but feel that you’re worthy of that raise and like it just changes how you see yourself. Because people just take for granted all the good work they’re doing day after day. They don’t. They’re not clocking it, and it’s just happening and they’re moving on to the next thing because there’s another crisis tomorrow. So this gave her a point where she saw it visually and it’s like, wow, that’s a lot. You know, I am worth this. This makes sense. You know, there’s no there’s nothing holding me back.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: I love that I think that is a great tip. And when you’re having those moments throughout the year where you are questioning or second guessing or wondering if you’re enough or if you are ready, etc., pull out that file folder and reflect on all that you’ve done up to that point. I’m working with a client right now and she falls into a similar category we were mentioning earlier, where she’s hesitant to apply for things that she doesn’t meet all of the criteria, and even struggling, putting her resume together and really having it be a reflection of all that she’s done. And through the process of her refining her resume and looking at these job openings. She said to me recently, she said, you know, I forget how much experience that I have and how much I’ve actually accomplished in all of these areas. It’s just sort of a blur until you start to really put pen to paper. Um, and it was a it was a real ego boost and she frankly needed it. So I think your wife’s, uh, your wife’s tip is an excellent one.

Lee Kantor: And it’s one of those things that when you see it, then it’s easier for you to own it. Like, you don’t have to apologize for it. You don’t like it’s real. It’s not an opinion anymore. There’s paper and facts behind it. It’s not just you, you know, saying an affirmation in the mirror like this is a pile of of data that’s saying that you are this.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Right? It actually, it actually makes me think about some of the, uh, the advice that I give related to when you are pitching, Be it a promotion or a job expansion, or even doing your own self reflection. Self review as part of a performance review is to do just that. It’s to focus on not the feelings or the opinion, but on the data and the results. Because again, referring to women specifically, we have a hard time sometimes owning those accomplishments. We’re conditioned more often than not to be humble and gracious. And so it’s easy to deflect and not draw attention to that, that that oftentimes for women is seen as self-promoting or self advocating, um, in a negative way. And so when when you put that language into the team and I have accomplished X, Y, and Z and we and and the result of that were these data. Then suddenly it doesn’t feel so much uncomfortable, like I’m drawing attention to my my extraordinary, um, results on my own. Um, but I’m doing it through facts and data rather than opinion and emotion. And I’m also when, when appropriate, honoring the people that were part of that.

Lee Kantor: Right. It’s not personal anymore. This is just the facts.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: That’s exactly.

Lee Kantor: Right. And that a lot of people take some of these, you know, whether they they get the opportunity or they don’t, they take it personally. And um, so if you can eliminate some of that, then it may make them more confident to, you know, aim higher. Mhm.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Mhm. Right. When you, when, when you take out the I don’t want to brag and you put it into facts and data that speak for themselves. Um everybody wins because you’re more apt to share that information, and the person on the receiving end is more apt to hear it from the language of business. The end result of the behavior or the action.

Lee Kantor: You just might have to help them connect the dots that it was you that were driving it. That’s all.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: That’s right, that’s right, that’s right. Yeah. Every now and then you have to, um. The team and I did that since.

Lee Kantor: Right. Yeah. Sometimes you got to remind people.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Yes, this is true.

Lee Kantor: So, um, if somebody wants to learn more, get Ahold of, uh, some of your books, uh, some of your time, uh, some of your team. What is the. You have a website. You have a best way to connect.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: I do, I do. It’s my it’s my name. So Cynthia at Cynthia Benson mercer.com and my last name, I’m sure I’ll be in the show notes because it’s a unique spelling. Um, I offer a free strategy call so you can book directly with me, um, for a free strategy call just to kind of assess where you’re at and what you’re looking for. And, um, if if I have the, um, what what you’re looking for, and I’m a good fit to get you there. Um, you can also pick up a copy of my latest book, and the one that’ll be out is in presale. And, um, I also do a fair amount of public speaking. So if you’re looking for a keynote speaker for your organization or association, um, on leadership and intentionality, it is one of my favorite things to do. And I would I would love to, uh, love to see you in a conference.

Lee Kantor: Well, Cynthia, thank you so much for sharing your story today. It was such a joy. Uh, you’re doing such important work, and we appreciate you.

Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer: Thank you so much, Lee. Thanks for having me.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.