John Ray: [00:00:00] And hello again. I’m John Ray on the Price and Value Journey. As you manage relationships with prospects and clients in your professional services practice, it’s important to understand the difference between nice and kind. Yes, there is a difference between being nice and being kind.

John Ray: [00:00:24] Several years ago, I was invited by a local economic development official, I’ll call her Ann, to sit in on a meeting with an entrepreneur who was opening a new business concept. This project required a significant investment on his part, and this entrepreneur, who I’ll call Bob, he wanted feedback from several business professionals on his concept. Well, Ann asked me to be one of those professionals, and I sit in on a presentation of Bob’s plans. And he talked about the market for his service, the amount of investment, et cetera. And he went on and he went on and he went on. And I began to feel like my sole purpose in the meeting, along with everyone else who had been asked to join, was to serve as basically a potted plant, making the scene look tranquil, but to stay quiet and acquiescent and nodding my head.

John Ray: [00:01:24] Well, finally, I had an opening to ask a question and then another one and more after that. And the questions that I asked were about what I thought were holes and inconsistencies that I saw in his business plan. For some of the questions, Bob had thoughtful answers. For others, he scratched his head, took some notes, and said he’d have to do further work.

John Ray: [00:01:49] Now, our exchanges were direct but friendly. Well, that’s what I thought anyway. But Ann didn’t think so. She pulled me aside after the meeting. “Is there something wrong with you?” she said. I could tell by the way she asked the question she wasn’t really interested in my health and welfare. “No. Why?” “You asked questions which bordered on rude.” “Well, I thought we were here because Bob wanted feedback on his plans.” She replied, “But all your questions were negative. You didn’t have to get into everything that was wrong.” Ann never invited me to any meetings like this again.

John Ray: [00:02:30] But several years later, Bob called me. “I want to thank you,” he said. “For what?” “Well, I remember you and you stood out in that meeting we had because you were the only person who asked me any tough questions. What you asked made us think and helped us sharpen our plan, and we’re better off because of it.”

John Ray: [00:02:53] It would have been enough if he just called to tell me that. But here’s the reason he called me. He wanted to hire me for some consulting related to his pricing. He said he knew I’d tell him what he needed to hear which was good for the project instead of just what he wanted to hear. This guy, I thought to myself, is going to be successful. He’s a mature entrepreneur who understands that asking for feedback sometimes means receiving constructive criticism, which would be vital to honing his plans.

John Ray: [00:03:30] As a professional services provider, your job is not to be nice. The best clients, in fact, don’t want nice. There’s not a lot of value in nice. Their primary concern is the outcomes that you can help them deliver. They want you to diagnose and fix their problems and, yes, be kind while you do it. But the best clients don’t have time for a shallow backslapping, and they are willing to pay you fees commensurate with the value that you deliver.

John Ray: [00:04:08] You see, nice is what golden retrievers are for. My golden retriever, Cooper, is always ready whenever I’d like the nice treatment. And the economic development official, she thought Bob wanted a room full of golden retrievers wagging their tails at everything he offered up. On the contrary, Bob wanted value, yes, value delivered in a kind way, but he wanted value. What he wanted most of all was help getting to his desired outcomes. And he was willing to pay for that value. And, yes, as a result, his business has been successful.

John Ray: [00:04:51] I’m John Ray on the Price and Value Journey. If you’d like to find our show archive, you can go to pricevaluejourney.com. And if you’d like to connect with me directly, you can email me, john@johnray.co. Thank you for joining me.