Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here. Another episode of High Velocity Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show we have Elena Pastore and she is with Allenatore Leadership & Career Coaching. Welcome.

Elena Pastore: Thank you Lee.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am so excited to learn about your practice. Tell us how you’re serving folks.

Elena Pastore: Yeah, so I’m a leadership and career coach. So I serve individuals, groups and teams to go from wherever they are in their careers, whether they are in a transition, feeling stuck, or just want to get to the next level and helping them get there so that they can have a happy, fulfilled career.

Lee Kantor: So what’s your backstory? How’d you get involved in this line of work?

Elena Pastore: I always knew that I wanted to help people, but I never knew as a kid what I wanted to be when I grew up. So after going to college, I first learned about consulting and then coaching, and I had already been teaching leadership and communication to younger business students when I was in the in the business school and college. So that was where my experience really started. But I didn’t know that you could really do that as a job until I left college and started working and seeing all the different careers pop up. So this month is five years actually in business, which is great. And the business has evolved a lot over the years, but it was really born out of the desire to help people enjoy their work more, whatever that looks like for them and to have that meaningful impact that a lot of people desire, but that they have a hard time finding in work.

Lee Kantor: Now do you? Do you work primarily with kind of individuals, or does an organization hire you to come in and work with their team or a group or, um, you know, the company as a whole?

Elena Pastore: It’s a mix of both. The majority of people that I work with are in the first camp that you said individual people.

Lee Kantor: So what is happening in their life where they’re like, I think I need kind of fresh eyes on this.

Elena Pastore: Yeah. So the people that most frequently find their way to me, the ones that feel stuck, pigeonholed, and their current job or career path. So they feel like they are not qualified for other things or not sure what else they can be qualified for. A lot of times they don’t have much confidence in knowing how to move forward at all, or even exploring what other options or opportunities might be. So they’ve often tried things on their own to switch, but haven’t had success, and realize that they need a professional and their court to help them strategically make those changes so that they, again, can navigate that transition and and have that meaningful job that I mentioned at the beginning.

Lee Kantor: Now, are they trying to stay within their current organization, or are they looking to just, you know, jump ship altogether, change careers? Are they looking to be like an entrepreneur? Like like what are you know, how how far are they willing to go here?

Elena Pastore: How far are they willing to go is a question that I asked them a lot. So it can be it can be any of those really. And the thing is, is when a lot of people initially are looking at exploring what other options could be, they are exploring that based on their current understanding of what they believe is possible. And what they believe is possible and what’s actually possible are always very different things. So sometimes people will have a half baked goal of, you know, Elena, I think I want to do x, x. Sounds good to me. And and you know, I’m cool with that. But there’s always this lack of real certainty in that. And so usually when we peel back the onion, we see that that thing really isn’t what they would choose. It’s just the best they think they could do. So it’s really about getting people to see the world is your oyster. It really is. Because outside from highly technical jobs like doctors, lawyers, accounting that, you know, you have to have some legal licenses to do those jobs. You really can transfer so many skill sets to different fields, just a matter of knowing how to make it happen and then how to communicate it with confidence.

Lee Kantor: So when these people are struggling, they obviously, uh, there’s a disconnect between their reality and what they’d like the reality to be. And when they think about moving to another job or another position, title, opportunity, whatever that might be, do you find that they’re doing that, like you kind of broached upon it, but and I’ve seen people that have gotten, you know, gone into college and said, I want to be a doctor and was a doctor or even began being a doctor for a minute and said, this is why did I do this? This is not me at all. Like, so they almost don’t have enough information to make an informed decision about a next move, but they’ve kind of mentally made a move.

Elena Pastore: Mhm. What specifically. Well that’s not my take on that or.

Lee Kantor: Well, I just do you find that that’s what happens, that they they don’t have enough information to really make that move into the next thing. They just think they do like they might have seen, they might know somebody that’s in that role or watched a YouTube of somebody that does a thing and they’re like, well, that sounds good, but they don’t really understand kind of layers deep of whatever that next move is.

Elena Pastore: The short answer is yes. And that’s not specific to students. It’s it’s everybody. The thing that I most often hear when I first talk to people about what they want is I want this because it makes sense or it makes sense for me to progress down this way. And I said to them, something that makes sense theoretically sounds good, right? Something that makes sense sounds better than something that doesn’t make any sense. But going down the path that makes sense. There’s really no choice in agency in that. And even if you might say, oh, I like biology, so it would make sense for me to be a doctor, right? Like, that’s not a wrong way to think. But nobody can possibly know every job that exists. You can make money doing anything. You can make a job out of anything if you really want to. But if you want to work for somebody else to say, you know, what are all of the jobs out there that would fulfill what I think I would get from being a doctor? You just have to really follow your curiosity, do your research, find people that work. You know, this is for any field. Find people that work in that field that you can ask questions to, that you can actually learn about what the job is like as opposed to what you think the job is like.

Elena Pastore: And if more people took the time to follow their interests and to be curious, I think a lot more people would not be doing a job that’s totally different from what they studied, or having those instances of becoming a doctor, doing it a couple of years and saying, you know, this isn’t what I meant to do. But it’s not just up to to themselves and what they think. It’s also society. My parents, if they’re especially if they’re someone else, is paying for them to go to school. Society what’s realistic? You know what I think I can I think I can make a good lifestyle, being a doctor or a lawyer and whatnot. And in any of those prestigious jobs, there’s still always it’s not always going to be what you think it’s chalked up to be. So there’s a lot of things at play that cause people to get in the wrong careers in the first place, or trick themselves, for lack of a better word, into thinking they should go into something that they really shouldn’t.

Lee Kantor: So when someone’s working with you, they come and they have this feeling of, um, disharmony. And they’re looking at you to help them, uh, you know, make the next move, whatever that might be. It might be staying where they’re at. Um, so how do you go about, like, what kind of what’s kind of your methodology in terms of assessing the situation, number one, and then kind of giving them some sort of a roadmap or a plan so they can, um, you know, make that next move or two.

Elena Pastore: Yeah. So the there is a process that everybody needs to go through. If you’re in this phase and you want to do something different, and then the way that that process is executed is what differs from person to person. So the first thing is to give a good, honest look at yourself and your life. Obviously your job, but your life and say how do I honestly feel? What do I honestly think about this life that I’m living and this career that I have? And it’s very hard for people to be honest with themselves, even when you have someone like me asking specific guided questions. I think sometimes it almost feels like if I’m fully honest, that then surfaces a big responsibility to change and as that’s something I’m really ready for. Once you do that, what do I want my life and my career to look like compared to what it is now? Okay, these things I would like to be different. Great. Now how can we make that happen? How do we need to translate your skills, help you talk about and think about your experiences in a different way, where there may be qualifications or requirements that you maybe don’t think you have? Or how can you again make those things transferable so that the future person will see you as a good fit? Building up your confidence because a lot of the time it’s it’s identity. I had someone ask me once, how do you get closure when you’re switching jobs? And I said, well, to me that question implies that your identity is wrapped up in it.

Elena Pastore: And when there’s a part of you that feels like there’s a permanence of what you do, being who you are, sometimes when you walk away from a job, it can be like, well, if I am not a fill in the blank professional, then then who actually am I as a person? So that’s a big part of it. And then starting to put yourself out there making it happen again. It’s more communication, more negotiation, not just in a salary offer negotiation. But you know what? Am I willing to negotiate with myself? How do I negotiate with the person on the other line to get them to see that I am a good fit for this role? And then all the way through to somebody accepting that role, starting that role. And then of course, getting onboarded, succeeding what? What new roadblocks and challenges are going to come up? How do I set boundaries? How do I establish a new professional reputation and personal brand for myself? So it really is a big a big process. And it’s so worth it because it it my client’s words, not mine. It changes your life. When you change such a big part of your life that you are so to your point in disharmony with.

Lee Kantor: And when you get in alignment with, you know, your superpowers and what you’re doing every day, you’re going to be a much happier person. There’s going to be less stress. There’s going to be life becomes a lot easier if you can, you know, create some alignment around those things.

Elena Pastore: Mhm. Happier. Less stress. Better with family. Better with your kids. Better with, you know anybody else that you come into contact friendships. It just really you know it. I’ve even had a client tell me his dating life got better. His physical fitness got better because he was able to focus on other areas when his career wasn’t such a big, you know, big ball of of confusion and questioning.

Lee Kantor: Now it sounds like you’re using, uh, like the blurring of the lines between coaching psychology. There’s a lot of, um, you know, kind of personality work that you’re dealing with. Behavioral work. How are you kind of managing, um, all of those things within a methodology and still stay within the kind of the coaching realm?

Elena Pastore: Yeah. So sometimes people will say, this kind of feels like therapy, you know, sorry for dumping all this on you. And I’m like, it’s all relevant. And it’s an it’s an emotional process. Even if you regardless of how long you are or were in the job that you are in, leaving can be emotional. It can and it is. And then there’s fear about the future. Like I said, confidence like those are all emotions and thoughts that need to be dealt with. And if or I should say handled because they’re just an inevitable part of the process, just like anything else in life. Right? Dating um, fitness like those all those all have so many emotions wrapped up in in any goal you may have in those areas. So I have a background in psychology as well. I have some other coaching related psychology certifications. So I do have some. I mean, I have the know how and how to tackle those conversations and, you know, bring them to the strategy that they ultimately need to tie into. And I have certain techniques also that I do that help people deal with some of those mental and emotional challenges and limitations head on. So that’s always a really exciting part for for people to move through, too.

Lee Kantor: And then you’re you’ve created your own methodology that kind of blends all of this together in the, uh, Elena the way.

Elena Pastore: Yes, I have the best way.

Lee Kantor: So, um, when you started doing this, did you have a client or a situation when you started working with them and they started getting traction and positive change? Did you have kind of that aha moment where you’re like, okay, I’m, I’m where I’m supposed to be?

Elena Pastore: That’s a good question. No one’s asked me that. And I do these a lot. I would say the first the I’m where I’m supposed to be. Came in when I heard somebody else that was a coach talk about coaching as her job. I had always had a lot of uncertainty around my career. Like I said in that introduction to coaching as a profession, I would say that was the moment that I there were just no questions after that that I was like, that’s I know that’s what I want to do. My first big client success story was Summer ish of 2021, and he was a client who was in a declining industry. It’s still I mean, it’s still is in existence and it’s still declining. And Hugh is vastly underpaid. And I was very knowledgeable then. I don’t have the skills that I have now. I was I still obviously knew what I was doing. I was very knowledgeable, even though my program isn’t as robust as it is now. And he got a new job in an adjacent field in a non dying industry with a 60% salary increase. 60. And that was when I was like okay this is. Pretty easy for me to guide people through because I know what the steps are. Just like anything else, it’s procedural. There are steps. And now I’ve gotten more granular with those steps and what success looks like within each step to ultimately. Have really a change on any level that somebody wants. Like you said, it’s how deep how far are they willing to go? How how much do they really want to change? It doesn’t have to be significant. But if they if they want it, it’s possible. So I still talk about him a lot because it was my my first, again, real big success story. Um, client. And you know, it’s people really underestimate what’s possible for themselves. And and that just goes to show even with just some simple real simple career coaching back then. So simple. That’s that’s what’s possible.

Lee Kantor: Right? The impact is real. When you have the right coach, the impact can be dramatic. And it doesn’t take, you know, years of years of kind of getting in the weeds of your past in order to, to move forward to a better place in your present or future.

Elena Pastore: Yeah.

Lee Kantor: Now, is there any advice you can share with somebody? Maybe they’re stuck right now. They’re in this kind of place where they don’t want to be. Is there some low hanging fruit, some action they can take right now listening to you, uh, that might kind of move them into a better place, or at least in the direction of a better place.

Elena Pastore: Yeah. So when you ask that, there’s a question that immediately pops into my head that everybody should be asking themselves. And this I didn’t make this up. I saw it on Instagram a long time ago, but it’s really stuck with me. And the question is. How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want? It’s like if you drive outside your house every day to go to work and there’s a big pothole. First day you drive, you drive in it, second day you’re on the same route. Drive in it again. Forget that thing was there the third day. You see it and you still drive through it. And you say the city needs to clean up these potholes. Are you gonna keep driving through it or driving around it? You can’t change the fact that it’s someone else’s mess. But are you creating the conditions you say you don’t want by continuously showing up in a space, or putting yourself in situations that you know are not right for you, that you just don’t want to change. And that’s on you. That can be hard for people to hear and come to terms with. But ultimately, at the end of the day, nobody’s coming to save you. If you want your life to be different, you have to be the one to make that happen. People will be there to support you, to help you along the way, but you have to own your life.

Elena Pastore: So how am I creating the conditions or how am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want? Everybody needs to ask themselves that questions. Be very honest. Number two, what are the specific ways that I am hindering my own success which could be related to number one, there’s a self-sabotage assessment called saboteurs, and it’s created by this company, Positive Intelligence. So if you Google positive intelligence saboteur assessment, it’s free. It takes less than ten minutes. That’s another good one. And then you say, okay, now that I know how I’m holding myself back, what is it that I want? That’s number three. What do I want? What is my goal? My life, my my career, my salary? What type of how I’m impacting the world. And then you say, what’s preventing me? Or keeping me from getting from where I am now to where I want to be? That’s number four. What’s keeping me from getting where I am now to where I want to be. And what do I need to do? To get to where I want to be. There’s a lot of complexities and nuances beneath that, but those are the four big picture things to ask yourself and things to think about to get unstuck. If you’re doing it on your own.

Lee Kantor: It’s that personal accountability thing. People. People talk about it, but they a lot of times they don’t want to get any on themselves. Yep.

Elena Pastore: Yep.

Lee Kantor: And it’s something I remember telling my kid, um, when he wanted something, it’s like, uh, I can’t want this more than you.

Elena Pastore: Yes. Yep. Yep.

Lee Kantor: Um, and and, you know, that’s where the rubber hits the road, ultimately. You have more control than I think that you think you have. And you don’t have to be in a situation you don’t want to be. A lot of the time. So. But you got to do something. You have to do something. It can’t. I mean, the coach can give you kind of the roadmap, but ultimately the person has to make the moves.

Elena Pastore: Yep. I tell my clients that too. If they are behind on their homework and they’re things they need to do. You know, I’m like, I can’t care about it more than you. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one in the game, not me. You have to get out there and play.

Lee Kantor: So now how do you deliver your coaching? Is it kind of one on one? Do you do group? Do you have, um, cohorts? Uh, how do you deliver the coaching?

Elena Pastore: Yep. So it’s it’s one on one and group, and the group is you join at any point in time and everybody is kind of on, on their path. And you jump in and, and you start on your path wherever you need to start. And then it’s a great learning community because there’s always something to learn from each other regardless of what, what stage and what phase you’re at. So it’s really great to, you know, to hear different perspectives and to get some foresight about what you may face when you’re just starting or, you know, at the end of one cycle and starting another.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wants to learn more, have a more substantive conversation with you. Uh, is there a website? What’s the best way to connect.

Elena Pastore: Yeah. So I have a website. It is Allenatore coaching. Com and Allenatore means coach in Italian and it just happens to look like my name. So I get asked about that a lot LinkedIn Elena Paxton on LinkedIn or email super direct Elena at Elena coaching.

Lee Kantor: Com and Elena is spelled a l l e n a t o r e coaching.com.

Elena Pastore: That’s right.

Lee Kantor: Well, Elena, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Elena Pastore: Thank you, Lee, for having me and the great questions.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.