Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Houston, Texas. It’s time for Houston Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Trisha Stetzel: Hello, Houston. Trisha Stetzel here bringing you another episode of Houston Business Radio. I have the most amazing opportunity to talk to Andre Paradis today, who is a relationship and NLP coach and President and CEO of Project Equinox. Andre, welcome to the show.

Andre Paradis: Well thank you. Good to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: I’m so excited to have you on. So first tell us who Andre is.

Andre Paradis: Uh, Andre is a, uh, an ex-professional dancer. Kind of traveled the world. Uh, Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul. I was really made it to the top. It was a fantastic journey. Um, ended up, uh, starting a family, which got me grounded. I didn’t want to travel the world and not be present. So stage two of my life was a auto repair shop in Los Angeles. I’m a car freak, so? So that was stage two of my life. This is when. And then. But that allowed me to stay grounded, be home with my family. Uh, the business was six minutes from my house, and the kids school was two blocks away. So my I set it up. So both my wife and I were at every recital, every parade, every, every. Because I didn’t have that as a kid. Right. So that was important for me to set it up that way. But I’ve been in personal development my whole life, and I took a workshop in 2006 called Understanding Women Completely Random. I was it was a gift I had. No, I wasn’t looking for any of this. And at the time, I’m married with two little kids. We’re doing great. But I realized in that workshop that I knew nothing about women, which scared the life out of me because my siblings are divorced and married like three and, you know, went on four. I have my family. We just have a baby and a toddler.

Andre Paradis: We’re doing great. But I realized I knew nothing about women in that special workshop, which then I realized that means I’m not thinking about my wife. And to me, that liability was insane. Like, it just it worried me. And I thought I didn’t want to be a statistic because I didn’t know. Now I’m a curious guy. I want to know everything. I’m just my brain. So after that workshop, I ended up taking all their workshop, the company that was providing. And you know, after you pay for all the workshop, I think it was 11 of them. After paying for the workshops and attending, you get to come back, come back and assist and be in the space. Right. And I was in a workshop every freaking weekend because it was the content. It was so much more every time it was more and even the same workshop, the teacher would teach us differently. The question would be different. The answer would be, oh wow. And I just the more I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know anything. So that’s how this whole thing started in 2006, 2009. I started Project Equinox and the business exploded because there’s a lot of confusion out there, so much so that I had to sell my other business. It was like completely took me over. So that’s how we get to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: Okay, now you got to dig into Project Equinox. What does that mean to you?

Andre Paradis: Well, the Equinox is the perfect balance between day and night, right? So I thought masculine and feminine, the dance. I thought it was clever. So, Equinox, a friend of mine came up with this, and he goes, dude, it’s perfect. Like, I like it. So.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. All right. And now you’re out spreading the word. You are talking to everyone about this topic. And what is the topic?

Andre Paradis: The dance of relationships I call it. If you look behind me like I’m going to show you this, this is my wife and I, ballroom dancing.

Trisha Stetzel: Oh. That’s beautiful.

Andre Paradis: So my life was started as a dancer. I was a ballroom dancer into a commercial jazz dancer, but my wife’s also a ballerina, so we met. Dancing and the metaphors for dancing in relationships are exquisite. So I used that that in my teachings to understand how to dance together. Because there’s no, you know, the, the typical ballroom, you know, frame is two entities that become one relationship and marriage is two becoming one under God if you’re that person. But there’s something magical about this, how do we, you know, and the difficulties I see is that men and women are completely different, as you know, not a little bit completely different. So often it’s difficult to become one when the other each is thinking the other one is misbehaving. Right? Women are like hard driven, feeling driven. Men are head driven, you know, logic driven. And often we collide because women will say men are insensitive, They’re cold and distant. They give you the one word answer. They don’t want to share their lives with us. Well, no, that’s being masculine. Stoic. That’s kind of the standard, right? This is what my brain, our brains go to. Now, there’s a way to pull us into you differently.

Andre Paradis: But if you leave us alone, we’re in our heads. Right. So women think we’re shallow, disconnected, selfish, self-centered. That’s not it. I mean, I’m up in my head. That’s how we survive as a species. But. And on the other side, men will say, I don’t know, I. She takes everything personally. It’s not what I said. It’s not what I meant. I never said that. I never, you know, you know. So. And we often think you’re a little crazy. So men think we’re crazy. Women think men are shallow, and that’s that’s the the polarity of us. But, you know, however, the polarity is essential for us to come together. It’s the complementary of that that works. Right. So we’re not equals. We’re equally important. But as human beings, we’re completely different. Just like our genitals. The complete opposite, but made to fit our personalities or yin yang is made to fit. So most people are struggling with this because there’s so much equality stuff out there that we’re trying to make the other person like us, and that’s what doesn’t work anyway. Ooh, you got me going.

Trisha Stetzel: I know, no, I love it. And and it’s a lot. We talked about this before we started recording. Everything that comes out of your mouth is based on science, right? This is not your opinion. It’s actually truth. So I’d like to back up just a little bit because I introduced you as a relationship and NLP coach. Not everyone may understand what NLP is, so can you define that?

Andre Paradis: Yeah. Nlp stands for Neuro Linguistic programing and I think it should be called neuro linguistic reprograming because that’s what I do with my clients is like and the psychology, this is psychology part of my work. Um, human beings are very interesting. And when I get to heaven, we’re gonna have a conversation about that design, because that’s kind of unfair, not cool. I’m just saying it’s not cool. It’s not cool. So what happened is, is if you when you’re born, your computer is blank, right? If you look at your brain as a computer hard drive, it’s blank. And within the first years of life, we have no thoughts. We only have feelings. That’s how babies and toddlers, you know, express themselves. As we get to start learning to speak at the age of three ish, by the age of five, this is fascinating to me. Like, this is this is the stuff. By the age of five, this is when our consciousness come online. Like when your thoughts and your feelings can meet.

Trisha Stetzel: Mhm. Okay.

Andre Paradis: Right. So most of us are five years old so it’s a little bit earlier. For some it’s you know six kind of realized the world that they live in. Right. And and if you weren’t love right. If your family system is off we think it’s us. We take it personally and then we again that’s the first belief on the hard drive. So if you believe that you’re not lovable, there’s something wrong with you as a woman, then it becomes your computer imprint, number one that’s that was driving the computer. Even if you add some apps and anything, books and the computer drivers, the belief is in place. And so then if you think you’re not loveable from that five year old, as a seven year old, as a nine year old, as an 11 year old into adulthood, you’re going to find yourself attracting people who will confirm that for you. That’s a terrible design, but that’s how it is. So mine as a kid was, I don’t belong here. I was an accident. My mother didn’t want me. I was born with that knowing. So I’m a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here. So I actually didn’t think I was going to be here for very long because everything was wrong. Right? But my my belief is it’s a conclusion.

Andre Paradis: It’s not the truth. It’s the conclusion. This is what kills us. It’s the conclusion by our circumstances when we put it all together, consciousness and feelings and come together. Belief system number one. So I ended up literally living a life of struggle? Because I’m not supposed to be here. And so every encounter, every job, every relationship was, why are you here? Like. But like discard it, discard it, discard it. Crazy stuff until I fix myself. Nlp does that. So NLP is a way to take the trauma of your childhood, right? And literally just throw it off your nervous system. It sounds it sounds like it’s so effective, if efficient effective. It’s so and it’s quick. It’s not three five years on the couch. It’s 45 minute sessions times half a dozen and poof, clear. So and the reason why it’s so, oh, I’m such a believer. Because I cannot get anybody in a healthy relationship until we clean up that baggage. Your childhood stuff that kind of led to a life of bad relationships in every way. So clean that up and then are you actually get to think for yourself to not be driven by this false belief? And then what do you what’s what’s the dream? Let’s go. Let’s go for the dream anyway. So there it is.

Trisha Stetzel: I love it. Okay, that’s a great start. So first question. Hardest one.

Andre Paradis: Yes.

Trisha Stetzel: What makes a love relationship last?

Andre Paradis: The dance. You have to learn the dance. And you know, back in the days we, you know, for for millennia, the men and women’s role were very obvious. You know, like, in order to survive as a species, men were there doing the outside. I call it dirty work outside. When the women did the inner right, the interior work more, as in taking care of the children and the food and the berry, you know, like so hunter gatherer. That was a survival mechanism. That was that was we didn’t make it. Otherwise a woman in the world alone was dead. Dead can’t survive by herself. So they needed men to protect them, but also to provide for them. Men would go hunting and come back and bring the food, plop it down and go. So, uh, you ladies take care of that, please. We’re going to sit by the fire and talk about how little Johnny almost lost his arm. It was great. It was funny as hell. And men sit around the fire and the woman, like I say, thank you for the hunting. We’ll take care of the food. And when the men recover, because men need to recover in order to do it again the next day. So that is nature at its best. So. So what’s happening in our culture is we decided that that’s old school.

Andre Paradis: It’s on. It’s, you know, not important or that we lost the depth of why that works so well. And so we talk about 5050 and go girl boss babe, that’s all fine. Right? And then we like shame men out of being masculine because they’re toxic and dangerous. Well know that the boys are dangerous. And that’s a whole different topic. There’s different types of men, right? The boys are the ones that are dangerous and toxic. Those are the rapists, the killer, the the con men. Right? Men are not like this. Men provide, protect, cherish, give support, lead. They put their arms around their family and protect it all instinctually. No manipulation needed. We lost track of that. So what’s happening that I see where people struggle is man is still the man’s role in culture is not changed one bit. In order for a man to be respected by women, other men and the culture, they have to get their lives together. They have to conquer something. They have to fight for something, build something that’s relevant, makes them feel relevant. That’s difficult. The more difficult, the more respect he gets, right? Self-respect and respect from the world. And we go, wow, look at him go. It’s amazing. That was a good way to go. So men are still expected to be traditional that way.

Andre Paradis: That’s very traditional roles. So men are expected to still be traditional provide protect cherish give support pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay. Now I have no problem with pay. That’s my. That’s part of my makeup. I will kill myself to make money, to keep, to keep my family in a comfortable state. That’s. That’s no problem with that at all, right? As my wife takes care of my my, my, the inside world more because we do both. But she does the inside world more. The yin yang of that is beautiful. She gets to be with my kids when they were little, right? She gets to be a mother. She gets to be oh my goodness, she she gets to work less because I do the brunt of the big work. So we lost track of all this. So again, men are still expected to be traditional. Traditional. Nowadays our role is not changed. But women have been taught to not be traditional and or to refuse to be traditional. So that’s a problem we don’t. We stop understanding the dance and the modern way is women masculine, men feminine, and that that’s the worst that’s ever happened to culture. Look what’s out there. So I could do this all day long. You got me going, all right.

Trisha Stetzel: No, I so I’d really like to understand how this plays out in the workplace. Right? And I’m not talking about building relationships and falling in love in the workplace, but because women have assumed these different roles or been taught to take on these different roles or avoid the other role. Yep. These are different in the workplace. Yeah. So let’s talk about that.

Andre Paradis: Hold on. It’s funny you say this because I just pulled something that I was working on. Oh, yay! Woo! Okay. Just in case there’s a backup. It’s so cool. So. Well, the thing is, again, the same issues, the same problems that we we face in relationship. Men and women in close relationships. The same thing happens at work. Okay. Women are more emotionally driven. It’s just a fact. There’s nothing wrong with that. Men are more logically driven. That’s just a fact, right? So, but when you consider oh, we’re going to go there, let’s go there.

Trisha Stetzel: Let’s go there.

Andre Paradis: So if you consider That, as simple as it is, men have two worlds and women have one world. And let me explain really quickly. So there’s two. I am two people. There’s me at work and me at home. Okay? Right. There’s me at work. The conqueror, the fighter, the warrior. The the busting every door down. Like I’m a I’m an animal, right? But not at home. So at home, it’s God. You get daddy energy, you get husband energy, you get pulled back energy. You get community energy, right? Same man. Two different energies. Right? You ladies have one world, okay? It’s. It’s all connected. It’s all together. It’s all of us. It’s it’s sweet. It’s want to be pleasing and pleasant, right? And so in that there’s a lot of talking because that’s how you ladies connect. And you do this to us at work, and we look at you like, why are you talking? Get to the point. So the same thing you do to your husband when he comes home and he’s tired. But you want to connect with him by talking. Often you’ll see him glaze over and you feel, oh, he doesn’t care, doesn’t love me because he doesn’t want me to know he’s tired. He’s tired. Right? So not understanding our very basic kind of instinct and drives as opposites will have us collide. So at work women in bringing all. So I’ll give you an example. Right. If I’m working with my buddy John, you know, and we’re at work, let’s say. Right. And I go, dude, so I need this on my desk by 4:00, please. Is it urgent? Got it.

Andre Paradis: Got it done. Right. Now, if Susie brings John the paper, she goes, hi. How are you doing? What? Good. What’s up? They’re like, oh my goodness. So how was your how your your your weekend. Because then you guys go out of town with little Johnny. Is he okay by the way? I know he was sick last week, right? He’s like. And and about. How about little Lillian? How how’s she doing? Oh, she’s. Oh, she’s such a darling. And he’s looking at her like, what the are you talking about? What are you doing? Why are you talking? Right. But this is a woman bringing the personal. The personal connection. Because this is how you connect. You have to connect first before you get to the point. You have to connect first. Your connection often will have you go in circles and not even get to a point, just because the point is the connection. But at work it kind of inappropriate, right? So men will get frustrated, men will get irritated, and then you go, he doesn’t like me. He doesn’t want to hear from me or he doesn’t. If she’s in a position of power. Right. She’s a manager. She’s going to think he doesn’t respect me. 000. Right. And now, often you get resistance. Can you get to the point? Why? What do you want now? Oh, he’s got the tone. So now he’s actually again being disrespectful and rude. Right. So we have to write him up. So that’s what’s difficult because the work that same dynamic we don’t understand that we’re operating different operating in different places.

Andre Paradis: And then women joining us in the workforce now want us to adapt to their way because it’s more comfortable. And often men will go really like so I’m going to say something terrible. Are you ready? This is terrible. Are you ready? Go for it. This is so, so uncool. But they’ll get triggered. Let me explain it. I think you’ll understand it right away as soon as I say it right. Men naturally, instinctively know how to work together again. Because we get to the point where we’re working side by side. We don’t speak. We like Hunter’s side by side. We get it done right. There’s a hierarchy to us. We need somebody to lead us, you know, and the guy underneath. And everybody knows their place. Just like a football team, right? Everybody’s got their position. You know exactly what to do. And there’s a coach that’s natural masculinity. So men know how to work together instinctively. It just works. Right? You put them. You put ten men in prison, jail 24 hours. But by the time you open the door 24 hours later, there’s a whole hierarchy that took place that actually lines up with the testosterone. That was freaking amazing. It’s nature. It’s beautiful. So when you put women in the workforce with men, now we have to be sensitive. We have to be, you know, we have to like, uh, what’s the word? We have to be sweet and kind and connected and. Right. There’s a lot of feelings all of a sudden, which we don’t know what to do with, and it’s irrelevant for productivity. So we ended up with HR.

Speaker4: Mhm. Mhm.

Andre Paradis: And I’m saying this this is the terrible thing I’m going to say if, if we remove women from the workforce or to work with men HR goes away.

Speaker4: Mm.

Andre Paradis: Interesting isn’t it.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Trisha Stetzel: So my next question for you is I do a lot of work with assessments. So disk drivers, PCU, EQ, you name it. Do you think as you were describing people, generally speaking, men and women, do you think there are different versions of these human beings that they’ve learned something differently or they’ve been raised a different way. So they’re driven by something different, or they have better EQ or higher, uh, positive intelligence. Does that play in this space as well?

Andre Paradis: For sure. And I should have said that upfront. Right. Like to have these conversations, you have to allow huge generalizations. Sure. Yeah. Absolutely not. There’s no such thing as all men and all women. There’s no such thing as ridiculous. However, there is a norm, right? Which is typically about 80 over 20. Everything in life has a 80 over 20 rule, right? There’s 80%. That’s normal. The other one a hybrid I call them like or different. All right. So in this world of men and women, even though women are more emotional and men are more logical, the big the big generalizations, there’s all the mix in between because there are women who actually understand man’s world, that he’s different at work, that he’s different at home and do not bring their they you know what I mean? They know how to do this. And the women who are really good at managing or management position kind of instinctively know this. I’m going to say it. Typically they have fathers and brothers.

Speaker4: Okay.

Andre Paradis: Because fathers and brothers will teach a woman about accountability and get to the point and what’s appropriate or not, right? If she was raised by a mother only and daughters and sisters, I have them as client that doesn’t show up on the radar. It’s not you know, they pulled that feminine card because that’s how they drive. So there is a huge amount of flex. But the rule the norm is 80% 80 over 20, right? And ultimately we know that we both have masculine and feminine within us. So it’s even the balance within ourselves and how we show up in the world, in relationships and at work. That kind of differentiates you, me, from this one or that one and that one. So I have to be as a man. I’m a leader. If I’m going to lead my, excuse me, my wife and my family in the dance, I have to lead.

Speaker4: Yeah, but.

Andre Paradis: But like the dance, if I have to lead them, my wife excuse me with sensitivities. Otherwise I could bully her. I could crank her. I could break her arm. You understand? So if I’m a bully. Only without sensitivities. Yin yang, masculine and feminine within me. In order for her to let me want to dance with me. What? Like for her to want to dance with me just to and be vulnerable to my leadership. She has to kind of be comfortable with me and trust that I’m not going to hurt her. So I have to lead for her to know, to be able to get on the horse with me and we get to dance. I have to be sensitive to her. I have to be aware of her. I have to respond to like I, I all this signaling within the fingers without words. There’s a huge amount of finesse in that. That’s my feminine on the other side, you know, she’s got she gets to release and let go to be in a feminine. But she’s controlling her body. She’s doing everything I’m doing backwards and in a dress and high heels. It’s not easier, it’s different. And a lot of it is her masculine. Having to hold her space and be able to write, to be able to take, take care of her part. But in that when she’s vulnerable, she trusts me because she knows I’m not going to hurt her, and I’m not going to spin into a wall or a table, right. Or another couple that she can just completely let go of control. Surrender control completely.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Andre Paradis: The light inside of her comes on. She gets to be present in the moment, completely feminine. And she shines with this beautiful, like, glorious feminine glow. It gives me goosebumps. And no one’s looking at me. They’re all looking at her like she gets the glory of just being in a pure feminine. Because she could be in the flow and let me lead and trust. And she’s happy and she has to control nothing. She has to think about nothing. She completely gets the flow, which is the ultimate feminine. That’s the beauty, that’s the relationship. That’s men and women.

Speaker4: The dance. I love that.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, okay. So if people are already interested in connecting with you, what’s the best way to find you?

Speaker4: Oh.

Andre Paradis: All right. So. And also, I have two gifts to your listeners. What if you want? I have two gifts.

Speaker4: Okay. It’s exciting.

Andre Paradis: I think so. I think so, but again, you and I talked about this. My, my my God mission is to spread this to the masses.

Speaker4: Mhm.

Andre Paradis: You know, everyone’s confused. It’s difficult. You know women are women are hurt and men are lonely and vice versa. Right. And they do a lot of podcasts. I’m just trying to spread the hope. There is hope. There’s a modern way to do classical relationships, or there’s a modern way to do this that works long term. So there’s hope. Let’s do it, huh? It’s out there. You don’t get that right. Yeah. So anyway, so I do a lot of podcasts for that reason, to kind of open the channels and get people kind of hopeful. And I noticed when I do podcasts, I do many a week. Um, there’s two types of listeners. So I have two gifts. That’s okay. Okay. And let me let the listeners qualify themselves. So if if people have show up the first time typically in. Information seekers, they’re just trying to poke around at this masculine feminine stuff people keep talking about. I don’t get it. I’m a girl, right? I’m a girl. What’s the problem? So information. If you’re an information seeker, I’m going to send you directly to my email. This is my personal email. You go to Andre Coaching number one at gmail Andre and Dory coaching. Coaching the number one at gmail. And the subject box write irresistible book. This is the ladies. I will send you a copy of my how.

Speaker4: I.

Andre Paradis: Sell This on my website. This is called are you ready? Get this. It’s called the five feminine qualities high value men find absolutely irresistible. Ladies, this is my work with men. I do a lot of men’s work. This is man speaking. It’s 30 pages. It’s a workbook. You get to fill it in with your thoughts and your understanding of things, right? You get it? Just email me. I’ll be coaching one irresistible ebook. Boom. I’ll send you a digital version of it. It’s good, it’s good. It’s a gift. So information seekers. There you go. The other type of listeners that I notice are people who kind of go, oh, I get it. Yep, yep. Like it resonates. Like, this guy’s got something right. So NLP super super intriguing for people a lot. So if you’re a action taker right. Takes a little courage, but it’s kind of temperamentally typically if you’re an action taker on coaching one in the subject box. Right. Talk now. I’ll send you my calendar link. You find a place that’s open, and you and I are going to have a conversation for an hour or so about, you know, people call, people call and set up appointments like, you know, because something is not working. They find themselves in a loop. That’s the loop I’m talking about from the beginning, right? That NLP like that loop of childhood that we can continue to prove as adults.

Andre Paradis: So in 15 minutes, we find out what the loop is. Uh, because it’s simple, right? And then when you understand that there’s nothing wrong with you because a lot of people come at me with, you know what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? There’s something wrong with me, right? Because I can’t always attract the same. And it’s never going anywhere. And I’m hurt and I’m feeling abandoned and alone. We find a loop. And now and then. When you understand there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just a product of your past and the false belief you create about that. We can clear it, you know. And then from there. What’s the dream? What’s the dream? Marriage and kids. If you’re younger, right? If you’re older, like, it’s long term relationships, companionship for the rest of your life. Yes. And then I’ll tell you, if you’re. There’s different ways to work with me to jump in. There’s many, many different ways. So. And then it’s up to you. But for some people, just that call changes their lives because they kind of understand it. And how broken are liberation. So those are my guests.

Trisha Stetzel: That is very liberating. Okay, I’m not done with you.

Speaker4: I still have some more questions. Oh.

Andre Paradis: Oh. Okay. Beautiful.

Trisha Stetzel: I have a a lot of conversations around women in the workplace. And how many of us, particularly in my generation, will just call it X genders, right? That that, um, that particular generation where women didn’t have women friends in the business place. Right. Because we were all vying for the same position and we were trying to be very masculine. Let’s talk about that. Like when I bring that up, I see you, right? You’re like, okay, I gotta get ready for this. Um, what are your what are your thoughts around that? Because there’s so many conversations that I have with women just like me having this same conversation.

Andre Paradis: Okay, so again, not sexy, just nature. Right? But sometimes nature is ugly because it’s about survival, right? But so as much as men are competitive with each other. Right. Instinct and history has taught us to work together. We work together. Everyone survives, right? Women competing for men, typically, or for the attention of men to protection. Protection of men compete with each other.

Speaker4: Mhm.

Andre Paradis: In the. You know, if you’re looking at my man, I want to kill you. I want to push you to the tiger myself. I’ll watch him eat you and smile. Right. Men can’t do that.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Andre Paradis: Just against the survival instinct. Right. So at work, when competition and getting ahead and survival is on the radar of ladies at work, which.

Speaker4: Is.

Andre Paradis: Masculine, that that mechanism kicks in 100 and all of a sudden, like, women will do what women do when they are competing or trying to get ahead is men use their fists. That’s how men resolve problems. Women use their mouths. So all of a sudden we have gossip, reputation, destruction, the smile on your her face, stabbing in the back when she turns around. Right. So this, this, this this is kind of how you fight. So at work with a bunch of women on the same floor often is that tension of she’s trying to get on top of me. She’s trying to get my job. Let me, let me just. Right. And then all this stuff kind of takes place, which is again, you know, something that the masculine at work doesn’t understand. Why is why is this an issue? You know what I mean? Why is it a problem? No. Okay. Air again. Really? Like, how do we get here? You see it?

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah I do, so what would be where? Where do we start? Andre? So, um, I’m a pretty smart person. And, you know, I realize that that type of environment wasn’t good for me, so I’ve removed myself from that environment. I have my own business. I run my own business. I do my own thing. I’m really happy with what I do, which is nurture others. And I have also started to build these groups of women that I can have conversations with, right, that I didn’t have in my past life. So I’m doing those things. But what are other things that you think we should be doing as a society to get back to being where we’re supposed to be?

Andre Paradis: Well, I mean, it’s supposed to be right according to the nature. And again, if you go against nature, you could go against nature all day long. Men and women, feminine men, masculine women, it’s against nature. But eventually it will bite you in the butt. Nature will win, and it’s going to cost you something that. Excuse me, you don’t want to pay for. I promise you, I could tell you stories, so I’m not going to go there. But again, if you go more in the flow of nature and understand each other. So I call it gender intelligence. Okay. Right. So as a man, if you want, you know, women will say stuff like, you know, I need so little, how come I can’t you can’t give me what I need. You know, I’m a dad. I get this, and men don’t understand what that means, because men quantify everything. This is our instinct, right? Big action, big rewards, big work, big money, right. Big Buffalo down. We get to eat big for a long time. You know what I mean? So men quantify it. This is instinct, you know. Naturally everything. So when you say I need so little like what the hell.

Andre Paradis: Like so I have to teach men that part, right? So it’s understanding each other’s instinct that is essential. Because if we talk about equality, which is, you know, equal rights, equal pay, of course. But what happened is now it’s become an equal being. Men and women are supposed to be the same. This is where everything falls apart because women are trying to make men like women. And men are like, why are everything like this, you know, and be more logical. And now we’re fighting again. So gender intelligence is if you’re a man, walk yourself over the bridge into women world and you learn, this is what I teach. Learn what motivates a woman, why they do what they do right. Her instinct. When you understand her instinct, you understand why she takes things personally. She’s not crazy. She’s a girl. It’s beautiful. But you have to understand, you know, as opposed to shaking your head. Oh, that’s what’s going on over there. This is what happened to me in that workshop, right? Like, oh, that’s what that is. Oh, that’s what that. That’s how this works. Wait. And you.

Speaker4: Just.

Andre Paradis: Do it. And all of a sudden, she’s lovely. She’s warm, she likes you. She’s feminine. She wants to be close. You get all the goodies. Understanding where she instinctively needs. And same thing with the ladies. If you cross the bridge into man world and understand what motivates the man, why are we stoic? Why we give you the one word answer? There’s a bunch of good reasons for this. There’s a lot of instinct and a lot of training for society and our parents in our life, you know, a lifestyle, her childhood. So get this. When women understand men more right, when you understand really our instinct. This is fantastic. 50% of everything you think personally falls.

Speaker4: Mm.

Andre Paradis: 50% of everything you take personally with men. I mean, your husband, your boyfriend, your boss, your brothers, all man On the ground because you go, oh, look, he’s just okay. He’s. And then when you know how to feed his instinct, right. Protect cherish give support, love, support love support protect protect, protect. Go. They’ll give you everything. The men will give you the world if you get, you know, provide what he needs instinctively to his nervous system, to his psyche, to his body. Like it’s just. It’s not that hard. It’s just we don’t know. So we have to learn about each other, and then we get to be we get to walk on the bridge from both sides, in the middle of the bridge where we actually have some understandings, some tools, some trainings and start dancing. And it takes practice because in the middle of the bridge, you know, it’s awkward because we’re so different. We step on each other’s toes, but then it gets a little smoother, and then we start communicating and using our tools. Right? Just like dancing. And so you get the flow of things and the more you practice, the easier it gets the stock in the communications. Right? That See how beautiful that is? So I always say modern relationships are like ballroom dancing. You cannot become a ballroom dancing couple unless you learn. You have to be taught this now. Back in the days, there was masculine and feminine. That was it. You made babies and you went to work. That’s not the way it is anymore. So how do we do this in a culture? You know, new culture is it’s tricky. But if you want this, it’s actually quite beautifully easy. Just say.

Speaker4: It is.

Trisha Stetzel: It is. And relationships take work. Right.

Speaker4: They just do.

Andre Paradis: Just understanding the other side is essential. You have to start there and start making each other wrong for not being the same as you, right? Like it’s not. That’s the exact opposite of what works.

Trisha Stetzel: This has been a fantastic conversation. I I’d love for you to share how long you’ve been with your wife.

Andre Paradis: 32 years.

Trisha Stetzel: 32 years.

Speaker4: So I’ve been my husband.

Trisha Stetzel: For 34, I.

Speaker4: Think.

Andre Paradis: 34. Okay. You win, you win.

Trisha Stetzel: No, know I’m not winning.

Speaker4: You are trying to win.

Andre Paradis: I’m a boy.

Speaker4: You win.

Andre Paradis: I’m a boy.

Speaker4: You win. Okay, I win there. Thank you.

Trisha Stetzel: I love it. There’s so much to learn about this topic. I would love to have you back on the show.

Speaker4: So that we.

Trisha Stetzel: Can, uh, dive into some of these areas deeper. I really wanted to focus on the workplace today, because I think that that’s a great place for us to start to have this conversation and then bring it into our own personal relationships with some of some of us are better at, uh, playing the dance or doing the dance right than others. And I think there’s so many people out there who want to learn how to do the dance. So thank you so much for being on, uh, folks, listeners, if you didn’t catch it, I’m going to put it in the show notes as well. But Andre is offering two things. One, if you’re just an information seeker, you’re going to send an email to Andre. It’s Andre coaching one at gmail.com. You’re going to put in the subject line irresistible book, and he’s going to send you that amazing book that he told us about, which is really amazing. If you’re an action taker, send the same to the same email address. Andre coaching one at gmail.com and put in the subject line talk now. Andre, thank you for being so kind to my guest today. It was a pleasure having you on.

Andre Paradis: Same to you I Trisha you did I do a lot of these and this is like the funnest this month. I want to say.

Speaker4: I told you you did. I win, you did.

Andre Paradis: And you win again. That’s true for you?

Speaker4: Yes.

Andre Paradis: You’ve had a trophy. I would give it to you.

Speaker4: Oh, good, I like trophies. Yes.

Trisha Stetzel: Thank you so much again. Andre. Andre parody. Thank you for being on my show today. That’s all the time we have for today’s show. Join us next time for another exciting episode of Houston Business Radio. Until then, stay tuned, stay inspired, and keep thriving in the Houston business community.