Intro: Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here, another episode of High Velocity Radio and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show we have Author and Executive Coach with Illuminate U Coaching, Sophia Toh. Welcome.

Sophia Toh: Hi, Lee. How are you doing?

Lee Kantor: I am doing well. I am so excited to learn about your practice. Tell us about Illuminate U Coaching. How are you serving folks?

Sophia Toh: Yes, yes. So my name is Sophia Toh. T O H. I am an executive coach and my company’s name is Illuminate U Coaching. I’m also a leadership trainer, and I also spend a lot of time in the nonprofit sector. And basically what I do is I coach executives, but at the same time, I also mentor a lot of early career professionals and business students as well. And now separately, on top of that, a lot of coaches do training, leadership training, and I do that too. So I work with companies to help train their executives and also the people leaders so that they they can become better, better people managers and people leaders. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: So what’s your backstory? How’d you get involved in this line of work?

Sophia Toh: Yes. So I have a close more than 20 years of corporate experience in corporate finance and accounting. I spent 15 years with Procter and Gamble, and when I left, I was the CFO for their chief financial officer for their one of their subsidiaries. I also was the, uh, was the VP and CFO of one of the Kraft Heinz, uh, 5 billion business units. So I spent 20 years in corporate. And when I left, I decided that I wanted to actually leverage my experience and also what I learned in leadership to help coach the executives, because I definitely believe that this is a job that is not only fulfilling personally to me, but can also create positive ripple ripple effects to actually benefits the workplace, because I believe good bosses will create a positive work environment for the people. And then they’ll people will in turn deliver for their business, and business will help to improve the environment.

Lee Kantor: Now, when you were at Procter and Gamble, did you get to have coaching yourself? Had you ever experienced being coached?

Sophia Toh: Uh, yes for sure. Now at Procter and Gamble, I actually mentor a lot of, uh, people. I joined Procter and Gamble in my mid 30s, which is kind of unusual. I was an exception because Procter and Gamble is famous for promoting from within, where they hire people out of college. But I joined Procter and Gamble as an experienced new hire. So when I joined right away, I got assigned a few, uh, younger employees as my mentees. And I’ll say, over the course of my career at Procter and Gamble, I probably mentor more than 50, between 50 to 60 mentees at Procter and Gamble, and when I was there, I also received coaching training. Right before I left. So. So at the time, right after the pandemic was ending, I decided that I’m just going to transition into coaching. They will allow me to flexibility for my time at my life stage because I’m a I’m an empty nester, so I want to live in a career with flexibility and also allow me to give back to nonprofit world. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: Now, for organizations that are deciding between a mentoring program and a coaching program, can you share a little bit about the trade offs of each of those, since you’ve got to experience both of them?

Sophia Toh: That’s a great question. That’s a great question. Yes. Uh, the A company can have both. Definitely. Um, so Procter and Gamble has very robust mentoring program, but they also have in-house coaching program that are very beneficial to their the employees too. And the way that you think about the difference between mentoring and coaching is that mentoring is more, uh, the mentors are serving more as a guide by sharing their experience, uh, with the mentees, somebody who has been through the, the kind of the grind. And so who can share advice to the mentees and coaching in a strictest sense of the definition of coaching is actually co-create with the the coach will co-create with the coachee so, so that they can figure out, uh, an action plan to work toward their goals. So coaching as a coach, I believe that everyone is creative and full of resources, but I’m just there serving as someone who serve as their external thought interrupter to try to ask questions, to help guide them, to come up with an action plan that they own themselves. So you can see, uh, giving advice and then coaching is more serving as a partner with the person to to work toward their goals.

Lee Kantor: So when you have a mentor relationship, is there kind of maybe an unsaid or unspoken expectation from the mentee that you might help them get promoted or find new opportunities or grow kind of within the organization?

Sophia Toh: No, because you actually brought up another relationship, which is sponsors. So a mentor will give advice. A sponsor will be somebody who advocates for that individual, maybe creating opportunities for them or give them promotions to, uh, promotion opportunities or also recommend them for like projects or programs that they may get involved in. So a sponsor is different from a mentor. A mentor may become a sponsor, right. So you can have many years of relationship with someone as as mentors and mentees. And then maybe you trust this individual, and then you feel like, okay, I’m going to help this person to get a job or a promotion or recommend them to someone else. So it can be. So most of the time it’s either or a mentor or sponsor. But a mentor can evolve into a sponsor. But there shouldn’t be any expectation that your mentor has to help you to get a job or to to help you promote it.

Lee Kantor: And that’s probably very important for the mentee to understand kind of the the what are the expectations of a mentor relationship versus a sponsor relationship?

Sophia Toh: Yes. Yes. And I have helped quite a few companies to put in mentoring programs. And typically I actually do train the mentors and mentees to set the expectations so that they are clear going into the relationships, because there shouldn’t be expectations that your mentor has to help you to get a job or to get promoted. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: So now let’s talk a little bit about your book, The Game, The Game of Life. Um, what inspired you to write that?

Sophia Toh: Yes. So I have been doing a lot of, uh, like, talking engagement, speaking engagement and training, and I have actually been leveraging the concepts. So when I actually put my hand on the book and start writing, it actually wasn’t that hard at all. It didn’t take me a lot of time. The the idea comes from Aristotle’s, uh, eudaimonia concept. Eudaimonia means, uh, flourishing or living. Well, human flourishing. So typically we think about the survival mode, and then we are surviving, and then we move from surviving to thriving. Thriving is more personal wellness, but flourishing is actually a concept that is a step above thriving, where not only are you thriving as an individual, you’re doing well. As an individual, you’re also helping your environment to get better and help others to get better. And I love that concept because I do. One of my values is service. And so when, uh, when I learned about the Aristotle’s concept, I started to think about, okay, I can make this into an acronym, The Game of Life. So game G stands for growth, authenticity, meaning and excellence.

Lee Kantor: And then when you started writing about those concepts, um, it came pretty easy to you because I guess you were living these principles.

Sophia Toh: Oh, yes. For sure. Uh, because I do think my friends will say that I’m someone who lives with joy, and I’m always who has a zest in life, even when I’m facing adversity in life. I do think that for the most part, when I think about making decisions in life, I actually look into these four areas. Um, like, am I growing in? Am I growing with something that I’m working on? Uh, is it authentic to me? Does it does it fit with my values? What does it mean to me? The meaning of it. And then I always give it my all and then give it my best. So that excellence part is where I figure out how to give it my best once I choose to do something or invest in something.

Lee Kantor: When you started your coaching practice, did something occur early on that gave you kind of the inkling that, hey, I’m going to be good at this. This is I’m definitely kind of living into my values. This is allowing me to kind of be the best me, and it really is aligning with my skills and values.

Sophia Toh: Uh, yes. For sure. So what I did not mention was that before my corporate career, I was I owned a restaurant for six years. So people will say that you have a job or you have a career, and then you have a calling, right? And if I think about my three stages, the three types of careers that I have had, my restaurant career probably was a job, and then my corporate career was probably a career that I paid very much intentionally trying to grow it and develop it. And then what I’m doing right now gives me so much joy and fulfillment that I dare to call it a calling. And if I think about how it came about, I. I’m from a big family. I’m the oldest of six children. I have 52 cousins who are all younger than me. So I feel that all my life I’ve been playing this mentor and coaching role, and then I mentor a lot when I was at P&G and also Kraft Times. And then I got my coaching training. So I definitely feel that it’s a natural progression for me to move from a mentor to a coach and really enjoy what I’m doing right now.

Lee Kantor: Now, can you share a story that maybe illustrates the impact a coach can have on someone. Uh. Can you? You don’t have to obviously name the name of the person, but maybe share the challenge they came to you with and how you were able to help them get to a new level.

Sophia Toh: Yes, yes. Um, so lately I have just coincidentally because I coach executives, but I do have people who are on the verge of becoming executive or in the top talent pool or hypertension pool, where both of them told me that they didn’t want to make it to C-suites. And I said, why? Uh, so both of them told me that they’re going to have to sacrifice their work life balance and harmony. They’re going to give up so much sacrifice to get to that level. So what I was able to help them to challenge the assumption that if you if you make it to C-suite, you’re going to be giving up your personal life. It’s actually to help them to rethink the their scope and also the authority that that can have in impacting the cadence and business. Operations in their company, where they can actually now have the power to design a system within the company that is going to actually make life a lot easier for everyone within the system. For example, because this is from my personal experience to, for example, let’s say you need normally you have ten reviews before you submit your budget to the C-suite. If you’re in a C-suite, you can actually now make the call and say, I only need five reviews. I don’t need ten reviews, right? You actually do have that authority and autonomy. Now that you can make the call to help make the life easier for the whole ecosystem within your organization. And for them, that is that that was the paradigm shift, right? Because where before they thought that there would be part of the system where from their vantage point right now everyone is suffering personally because of their position in the C-suite. Now, they felt empowered because they know that I can actually make something that will work for me and for many people.

Lee Kantor: Now, is that something that maybe people don’t realize how much agency they have and how much control they have over things, that they just kind of go with the flow and they don’t really, um, you know, take the control that maybe they do have access to.

Sophia Toh: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. That’s why I believe coaching is so important. Yes. Uh, because most of the time we’re just going with the flow and we’re so busy in our life, we don’t slow down and actually ask ourselves tough questions, or we don’t want to ask ourselves tough questions, right? When you’re working with a coach, a coach because somebody who is not you, right, who doesn’t have that internal conversations that you’re trying to convince yourself not to do something So somebody who can actually ask questions that can help you to unlock that disempowering belief that you may have about something or about yourself.

Lee Kantor: Now, within your book, do you share some of the life lessons that kind of you have personally kind of gone through it?

Sophia Toh: Yeah, yeah for sure. I didn’t realize how much I shared until my, the my friend who wrote the preface, uh, for me said that it was part memoir. I was like, did I share too much because she just mentioned memoir? I definitely share a lot of the stories about myself, because I do think that, um, not only am I sharing techniques, tools, things are different ways to think about different topics. I’m definitely using myself as the example who has lived through, uh, the, the, uh, the techniques, the tools and the, the experiences that I have shared in my book. Yeah. So it’s very personal to me. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: Yeah. So what is. Do you mind sharing one of those lessons with our listeners?

Sophia Toh: Okay. Uh, so let me think about a fun one. Uh, so a is authenticity, right? Uh, people always talk about how you want to show your whole self or your authentic self to the world, but not necessarily. You probably want to share your authentic best. Uh, not not necessarily the, the the the whole self. Right. So I share an example where when I was in my 20s, I went to a restaurant with, uh, karaoke and, uh, I love children. And there were two children there in the midst of people singing karaoke and having dinners. And because I wanted to entertain those two little kids, I went on stage to sing the, uh, the the song Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music and started to belt out the Showtune channeling Julie Andrews. And everyone was looking at me with their eyes open. Everyone just stop and like, what is she doing? Uh, so from so that was, uh. So I still cringe, uh, now that I’ve thought about this experience, uh, and, uh, and but I believe that we can be authentic, but we also need to pay attention to the context and the environment that we’re into. And authenticity is not so much, uh, just showing the world everything that you have, but really an a habit or practice on how you can express yourself in a way that is aligned with your values. So depending on the environment and the context, you can still be authentic in a way that doesn’t really, uh, show up as, uh, how do I say it? Unusual right to the environment. Yeah. So I probably would still do the same thing because I wanted to entertain the kids, but I probably will give some warnings to the to the people at that restaurant.

Lee Kantor: Now, a lot of your work is around folks maybe in transition or maybe their first time being managers. Can you share a little piece of advice that might help that first time manager, um, kind of get the most out of their role?

Sophia Toh: Yes. Uh, I actually have more than one, but I. So when you think about someone transitioning, uh, from being an individual contributor to a people manager is a rite of passage for them, because where they used to be rewarded on their technical expertise, they now actually have to rely on someone else to do the job for them. So. So it’s a scary transition. It’s a rite of passage. So what I have, uh, kind of, uh, mentor and also coach a lot of the, uh, early career professionals and also some executives, too, who may have come from individual contributors background but got promoted really quickly. Play is that you have to remember that now that you are managing someone, you actually have to spend time to get to know that person first. You want to go slow, to go fast, and also you. You are now playing almost like a coach role to help develop that person. Because if you successfully can kind of unleash the potential in your direct reports, you now are actually empowering yourself to to do bigger things. You now have, uh, developed expanded brands for yourself to right. Someone else can also think alongside you that can actually expand their thinking. So I do think that a big transition for, uh, being, uh, a individual contributor to a manager is really understanding that you are now you cannot be a know it all. You are now actually working with this individual here you where you actually have to spend some time understanding them to go slow. Then you can go fast with them. Because once you turn them into someone who is unleashing the potential, you are actually growing capabilities that you can help yourself as well. So it’s a win win. It’s a win win solution. It’s a triple win solution because it helps the company and organizations too.

Lee Kantor: Now how do you deliver your coaching? Um, do you work primarily with organizations that bring you in to do talks or trainings, or do you work one on one with folks? How do you deliver your, uh, coaching?

Sophia Toh: Uh, both. So if I think about, uh, I do a lot of one on one coaching, but I also do, uh, training, uh, with organizations. I sometimes I do, uh, team coaching and group coaching, too. And, and many times my training comes with, uh, the options of one on one coaching. So let’s say if I’m training people on a certain topic, I will offer the organizations, let’s say ten, uh, 30 minutes, uh, coaching sessions for people who participate in the in the training to sign up with me, because a lot of the time you go to a training, it’s one size fits all, and then your situation is different and uniquely yourself. And they need some follow up coaching session. And typically I actually do offer one on one coaching after my training, but separately I do. I do have a lot of one on one coaching that I’m doing with executives. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: So what, um, is kind of that ideal client profile from you. You mentioned nonprofits. Are there types of companies that, um, your work kind of gravitates towards?

Sophia Toh: Uh, yes. Uh, I do want to say yes. I do have, uh, some nonprofit clients, but for, for the most part, my clients are coming from, uh, from corporates. Because of my 20 years of experience in corporate, I have a lot of corporate clients from finance and accounting. Engineering design. Actually all over the board. Actually, I have coached for more than 1500 sessions since I left corporate, and it’s pretty. I would say that it’s pretty diverse in terms of the functions that they are in, uh, and industries to and, but for the most part, I do think I get a lot of, uh, finance and accounting clients because they, they feel that I understand their life and also and also from different functions to HR, design, engineering, um, just because of my tenure in corporate.

Lee Kantor: And what is the challenge that they’re typically having where they’re like, I better call Sofia.

Sophia Toh: Um, getting over their mindset, uh, let’s say, uh, perfectionism. That is a big one. Um, and it ebbs and flows depending on the hot topics in the, uh, in, the industry to. So I will say two years ago is returns return to office. And now I do want to say that there there is a common theme across, uh, organizations that are typically matrix where people have to, um, streamline their communication, uh, unclear roles and responsibilities. So many times I’m helping my clients to really helping them to manage the, uh, the complexities within the environments. And many times influencing is a big one influencing up, influencing down, motivating their employees. So just typical typical topics that, uh, an executive will have to be worried about. Yeah.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wants to learn more about your coaching or get a hold of the book, what is the best way to connect with you and learn more?

Sophia Toh: Yes. Well, they can connect with me on LinkedIn. Uh, Sofia to s o p h I a t o h, and I’m the one with the Chinese characters on it because I put my Chinese name on, uh, on on LinkedIn. And they can also go to my website. Uh, illuminate I u m I n a t e dash u the letter u dash coaching c o a c h I n g.com.

Lee Kantor: And then the book is at the Game of Life book net.

Sophia Toh: Yes. Yeah. So the the website for the book is the Game of Life book dot net. Yes.

Lee Kantor: Well thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Sophia Toh: Yes. Thank you so much, Lee.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Thank you.