Originally from Mississippi, Jim Ostenson began his career working for the church.  As part of his ministry, he observed how chaotic life could become when someone passed away without being prepared from a legal perspective.  With this in mind, Jim attended Pepperdine University’s School of Law, and in 1984 moved to Atlanta to become the staff attorney for the Presbyterian Church of America (PCA).  He spent a number of years helping churches observe the complexities of the law with respect to non-profit organizations.  He continued to have a passion for older adults, and finally decided to open his own law practice specializing in estate planning.  Jim encourages, “it’s never to early to start estate planning”.  He also advocates a team approach, including insurance professionals, financial planners and accountants (depending on the size of the estate).  Jim can be reached at (770) 392-3310, or on the web at www.ostensonlaw.com.

When Katie Sitton took a job at an independent living community after college graduation, she thought it would be a temporary stint in the senior living business.  After a few years, she did move on, but to an assisted living community.  She found that she really loved seniors, and was compelled to make a career serving seniors.  Today Katie is the Executive Director for Emeritus at Stonebridge, a full service Alzheimer’s Care Community in Dallas.  Darla Morford started her career similarly, working in a part time sales role for an assisted living community.  Darla is the Community Relations Director for Emeritus at Stonebridge.  One of the differentiators at Emeritus at Stonebridge is the training of the staff with respect to Alzheimer’s Disease, and how to interact with residents and family members.  All staff, from laundry assistants to executive director, receive this training.  Everything that is done in the community, from the color on the walls to the food on the plates, is done to make the most of the Emeritus experience for its residents with Alzheimers.  To schedule a tour, call Katie or Darla at (214) 691-7400, stop by their community at 9271 Whiterock Trail in Dallas, or visit them on the web at www.emeritus.com.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

Rachel Pierce’s father is an entrepreneur.  After watching his father benefit from hospice services, James Pierce jumped at the opportunity to acquired The Hospice Center.  Rachel didn’t start her career in healthcare.  Growing up in a small town west of Houston, she attended the University of Texas at Austin.  Upon graduation she went into marketing with Perot Systems.  In March of 2009, she finally gave in to her father and accepted a job as the Executive Director of The Hospice Center.  The Hospice Center provides hospice and palliative care for any individual needing end of life care and counseling, regardless of a patient’s ability to pay for the services.  Today, The Hospice Center operates out of Richardson and Sherman (Texas), and in Durant, Oklahoma.

 Joining Rachel in the studio today, Meredith Biltz is a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW).  She grew up a military brat, spending a good bit of her time in North and South Carolina.  After graduating from Wingate University with a Psychology degree, she got married, and spent the next several years being a full-time mom.  When she moved to Texas, she decided to pursue a graduate degree in Social Work.  After working with Katrina evacuees for a number of years, Meredith had the opportunity to join The Hospice Center two years ago.

 Our final guest from The Hospice Center this morning is Donna Talley.  Donna is the rare Dallas native!  She began working in home health nearly twenty years ago, and migrated to hospice in 2000.  Today she is the Director of Business Development with The Hospice Center.  She loves the business she’s in, and enjoys the personal touch of the Hospice Center.  To reach Rachel, Meredith of Donna, call (972) 664-0030, or visit them on the web at www.thehospicecenter.net.

 Joining us in Atlanta today, Walter Coffey developed an affinity for seniors by visiting nursing homes with his grandmother when he was young.  Born in Panama City, and raised in Huntsville, Alabama, Walter went to seminary and became a staff minister.  As his ministry gravitated toward seniors, Walter decided to go back to school where he earned a graduate certificate in Gerontology, and a Masters in Public Administration for Non-Profit Entities.  Today, Walter is the President and CEO of Aging Services of Georgia, a statewide association that represents the key not-for-profit and other mission-driven organizations dedicated to providing quality housing, health care and community-based services that people need, when they need them, in the places they call home.

Operating under the umbrella of Aging Services of Georgia, Holly Beauchamp is the Program Coordinator for the Center for Positive Aging.   Holly grew up in upstate New York, and went to Monmouth University in New Jersey.  After graduating with a degree in Marketing, Holly started her career with Enterprise Rent-a-Car.  After a number of years in business, Holly found herself looking to do something a bit different.  She joined Americorps Vista, which is, in her words, “a domestic version of the Peace Corps”.  Americorps Vista’s mission is to eliminate poverty.  Vista members commit to serve full-time for a year at a nonprofit organization or local government agency, working to fight illiteracy, improve health services, and strengthen community groups.  Holly’s contribution is through the Center for Positive Aging, whose mission is to educate consumers about the types of services to assist in successful, positive aging; refer consumers to quality providers; and to assist these providers in connecting with consumers in local congregations and communities.

 Walter and Holly can be reached at Aging Services of Georgia at (404) 872-9191, or on the internet at www.agingservicesga.org.  To get directly to the Center for Positive Aging, go to www.centerforpositiveaging.org.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

Bother Eddy Ketchersid has been in full-time ministry for more than fifty years!  A product of west Texas, Brother Eddy went to school at both Amarillo College and Seminary and Abilene Christian.  He has been married for 53 years, and has six children.  Brother Eddy is truly a community ambassador.  He is the Community Minister for The Branch, Farmers Branch Church of Christ.  He has also been very active in the Farmers Branch Chamber of Commerce for more than 20 years.  Brother Eddy has written two books, the most recent of which is “Ten Commandments of Leadership Networking”.  In line with my blog over Thanksgiving on “Building and Maintaining Productive Relationships”, Brother Eddy notes that the most important accomplishments in life are possible only through healthy and strong relationships.  If you’d like to reach Brother Eddy, he is a phone call away at (972) 345-1645.  To find out more about The Branch, check their website at www.thebranch.org.

Today’s show in Atlanta is dedicated to an organization that is committed to helping seniors successfully age in the place of their choosing.  Mary Lea Quinn is the Founder of the Atlanta Chapter of the National Aging in Place Council (NAIPC).  In its inaugural year, the Atlanta Chapter of the NAIPC is one of 12 active chapters around the country.  Their website describes itself this way:  [We provide] “a community of people and professionals who act to provide resources and services that champion living long, independent, productive lives at home and in the community.”    Mary Lea can be reached at Mary Lea can be reached at (770) 476-8400.  Visit the NAIPC’s website here.  

Joining Mary Lea in the studio today are two guests that have been on the show before:  Thom Corrigan and Dara McMillan.  In addition to representing the NAIPC this morning, Thom also represents both Metta Johnson and Associates and The Elrod-Hill Law Firm. Thom has served the senior community as a social worker and a geriatric care manager for thirty years. Though the two organizations he works with represent different disciplines within the senior services arena, both share the common objective of providing a comprehensive assessment of a client’s situation and providing solutions to meet each client’s unique requirements.  Thom can be reached at (404) 791-8234, or via email at thomcorrigan@bellsouth.net.

 Dara and her husband are the owners of a unique company called My Accessable Home.  Though there are a few other companies in the Atlanta area that specialize in renovations for seniors and disabled adults, their business is unique in that they bring a wholistic approach to the process.  Dara can be reached at (770) 715-5242 or on the web at www.myaccessablehome.com.

Candace Kortovich is a Housing Counselor for a non-profit organization called Housemate Match.  Housemate Match is a unique, nationally recognized, home sharing program that matches mature adult homeowners who have extra room in their homes with adults (tenants) seeking a roommate in a beautiful and safe place to live in the Metro Atlanta area.  For more information on Housemate Match, please contact Candace at 678.812.4082.  You can also view their website here.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

The hosts of Eugeria! Radio would like to wish all of our listeners and readers a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.  As the owners of Griswold Special Care, Sam and I are grateful every day for the Clients, Caregivers and Staff that make our business, and this show, possible.  We feel privileged to be able to provide home care for seniors and disabled adults who very much want to remain in their homes, wherever they call home.  We also want to say thanks to the army of family and professional caregivers that make that possible.  As such, I have written an excerpt from a presentation given to the Parksinson’s Disease Support Group at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital on Thursday, October 21.  Special thanks to Rachelle Carruthers for giving me the opportunity, and encouraging me to write it down!  If you would like a printed copy of this article, please send me an email at brad.culp@griswoldspecialcare.com.

Relationships are hard, even in the best of circumstances!  Sure, it’s easy enough to make a friend, meet a spouse, hire an employee.  What’s difficult is keeping a friend, spouse or employee over a period of years.  And it’s even more difficult to preserve a relationship when one or both of the parties don’t feel well, or are suffering from some type of chronic disease or dementia.

Think about a positive relationship in your life.  What are the characteristics?  Open communication, peace, intuition, sense of happiness.  Now think about a troubled relationship:  stress, anger, silence, verbal outrage.  Which would you prefer?  No contest, right?!

So how does one build and sustain positive relationships?   Emotional intelligence is one’s innate potential for emotional sensitivity, memory, processing and learning ability.  Your emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) reflects how that potential is developed over time.  And unlike IQ, EQ can be developed!  Did you know that Emotional Intelligence is a better predictor of success than grades, IQ, technical skill or cognitive ability.  People with a high EQ make more money, have more friends, generally live longer and are happier in life.

 Here are the dimensions of Emotional Intelligence: 

1. Self Awareness – recognizing emotion in yourself, knowing what pushes your “buttons”
2. Self Regulation – the ability to manage emotion in yourself
3. Self Motivation – learning to change how you act or react in stressful situations
4. Recognition of Emotion in Others – each person responds differently, know how your loved one will respond in the midst of stress
5. Management of Emotion in Others – recognize that you cannot change another person, but you can change the dynamic of the situation. 

So how do you improve your EQ?  Think about each of the five dimensions above.  First, identify your own areas of deficiency, your “hot buttons”.  Learn to manage them, or learn to manage situations you know will test your abilities to control your emotions.  Second, when your buttons are pushed, learn to pause – give yourself six seconds.*  Take a step back, reduce the energy you are lending a situation, postpone your reaction and try to modify the circumstances.  Develop a sense of optimism around your relationship, then practice it – it’s contagious! 

Once you’ve addressed your personal issues (dimensions 1-3), then you are ready to develop a plan for managing the relationship.  If you are a Caregiver, realize that you will have to take the first step, and will need to drive the process.  Your loved one is not likely aware of the impact of his or her actions or words on those around him or her.  

There are a number of social skills that establish the union where theory meets action.  Consider the following; 

• Communication – Will talking help?  If so,
  • Plan your conversations
  • Express your feelings and opinions (without high emotion)
  • Invite joint problem solving
  • Ask open-ended questions
• Diplomacy
  • Invite your loved one’s feedback before offering your own
  • Listen actively:  perceptions, feelings, body language
  • Clarify and ensure understanding
  • Avoid getting defensive
  • Be prepared to go back to the listening part
• Modeling
  • Just as you modeled behavior for your children, you must show your loved one how to behave properly and appropriately by modeling the behavior yourself 

If the preceding points can be thought of as a plan, your next challenge is to implement the plan – to try to change the dynamic of your relationship.  Here a few pointers to make that successful: 

• Pick the right time – for you and for your loved one
• Before you take your first action, envision the interaction and imagine a positive result
• Monitor your progress over a period of time
• Find a confidante with whom you can discuss the situation
• Be prepared to step back, re-evaluate and try alternative approaches 

Again, relationships are hard.  But anything worthwhile in life is hard.  As a caregiver, you are probably acutely aware of the mortality of your loved one, and of yourself.  Following these guidelines can help you make the most of the precious time you have with your loved one.  A wise person once said, “people may not remember what you did for them, or even what you said, but the will always remember how you made them feel!” 

*The Six Second Pause**

 How do you respond when one voice (in your head or audible) gets really loud?  Do you allow your feelings to be hijacked?  Shouting voices tend to hang out in one part of your brain:  the limbic ring.  Science has shown that if you use another part of your brain for about six seconds, you create a physiological opportunity to choose a constructive response to your emotions.  You do this by using an analytical part of your brain – the cortex.  Examples of analytical thinking include: math, language, complex visual or auditory processing. 

So the next time you feel like shouting, try one of the following: 

• Count to six in a foreign language – learn a new one for this purpose
• Say the alphabet backwards
• Think of six cities in Africa, or Asia or South America
• List the Seven Virtues, or the Seven Deadly Sins  

It’s hard to continue to pour fuel on a fire when your mind is trying to process an analytical problem.  Give it a try, and see if it doesn’t help you regain your perspective!

Again, from Brad, Sam and Griswold Special Care, Happy Thanksgiving!  May your day be blessed with good food, good cheer, good friends and close family!

** The Six Second Pause can be further investigated in The Six Second Pause, by Joshua Freedman 1997-2002

Today’s first guest is a Texas transplant.  Born and raised just outside Buffalo, New York, Pat Lucey-Sparacio spent most of her life in the Northeast.  Four years ago, Pat gave up the snow and ice of the northeast for the snow and ice of Dallas (at least last year!).  Earning a degree in Speech and Hearing from Hofstra University, Pat started her career as a practicing speech pathologist, and has been doing that for 30 years.  Upon arrival in Dallas, Pat worked on a PRN basis for a year or so to get a flavor of the senior care community.  Approximately three years ago she became aware of the position of Rehab Director at LifeCare of Plano, a full service skilled nursing and rehabilitation facility.  Pat’s role is to help transition patients from an acute care setting back into the home environment.  Pat loves the opportunity to interact directly with her patients, hear their stories and help them achieve their goal of returning home.  Pat can be reached at (972) 612-1700.  Tour their facility in Plano at 3800 W. Park Boulevard, or visit them on the internet here.

Eugeria! Radio is privileged today to highlight a very critical topic:  Elder Abuse and Maltreatment.  Returning to the show today as a Guest Host, Kim Bunker, owner of Southern Cross Mediation, has arranged for two special guests from the Atlanta Regional Commission, Area Agency on Aging, Vicki Shanahan and Deborah Cotton.

An expert in forensic geriatric nursing, Kim interviews Deborah and Vicki specifically on the topic of elder justice.  She notes that there are four key areas of focus: 

• Physical Neglect or Abuse
• Emotional Neglect or Abuse
• Financial Abuse or Exploitation
• Self Neglect

As staff for the Atlanta Regional Commission, Area Agency on Aging, Vicki and Deborah dedicate the time to supporting first responders in the community with education and resources.  Vicki notes neglect or abuse is often a hidden issue – sometimes intentionally by the abusers, sometimes out of fear or shame by the abused.  According to Deborah, it is critical for those close to elderly individuals to recognize their status as first responders, and to communicate with others who interact with a given elderly individual.  The Atlanta Regional Commission has a wide variety of resources available for those who may have a need, including a database with over 25,000 entries.  They also conduct educational seminars and programs on a regular basis.  Call them directly at 404-463-3333, or visit them on the web at www.agewiseconnection.com.  Contact Kim Bunker at 770-317-8244 or visit her website: www.southerncrossmediation.com.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

Please click PLAY to listen to the latest Eugeria! radio show podcast broadcasting live each Wednesday at 11:30am EST/10:30am CST from the Business Radio X studio in Atlanta, GA, USA.  Eugeria! Radio is proudly sponsored by Griswold Special Care, providers of exceptional senior home care in Atlanta and Dallas for nearly twenty years.  

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