angishields, Author at Business RadioX ® Page

BRX Pro Tip: Perfection is an Excuse for Not Taking Action

March 19, 2025 by angishields

BRX Pro Tips

BRX Pro Tip: Perfection is an Excuse for Not Taking Action

00:00 /

BRX Pro Tip: Perfection is an Excuse for Not Taking Action

Stone Payton: And we are back with BRX Pro Tips. Lee Kantor and Stone Payton here with you. Lee, I think our experience has been and we’ve shared this with many people in our family, in our business family, in our circle, perfection really can’t be and, often, is an excuse for not taking action.

Lee Kantor: Yeah. There’s only a few businesses that require perfection. If you’re a rocket scientist or a surgeon, I can understand the goal of perfection. But for most people, perfection is just an excuse for not taking action. Good enough is usually good enough to take some sort of action. And you got to kind of put this fear aside or this excuse aside and really take action and learn. I think at first you should take massive action. It’s not even like let’s kind of just throw our hat over the fence. I think you got to jump over the fence.

Lee Kantor: But because most of what we do does not require perfection, it’s just not necessary to be perfect in pretty much anything. So, I think you’re much better served by just trying something, see where improvement can be made, improve it, try again, improve it again, and just keep rinsing and repeating.

Lee Kantor: Perfection only exists in your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Once your idea is real and it’s in the wild, all of a sudden lots of things are going to be impacting it. There’s going to be a lot of chaos kind of pounding on that idea. And then, you’re going to learn. And then, you’re going to see issues, you’re going to see problems, you’re going to see opportunities that you could not have anticipated when you were just dreaming about this thing.

Lee Kantor: So, fix all the stuff. Leverage all the stuff that has bubbled up. And just focus on constant improvement. To me, constant improvement is a hundred, a thousand, a million times better than perfection. If you have the mindset of always trying to make it better, you don’t have to worry about perfection. It’s going to be good enough.

From Comedy to Connection: Dani Klein Modisett’s Journey with Laughter on Call

March 18, 2025 by angishields

Women in Motion

From Comedy to Connection: Dani Klein Modisett’s Journey with Laughter on Call

00:00 /

On this episode of Women in Motion, Lee Kantor is joined by Dani Klein Modisett, CEO and founder of Laughter on Call. Dani shares her journey from comedian to entrepreneur, inspired by her mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s. Her organization uses laughter to foster connection and well-being, particularly in healthcare and corporate settings. Dani discusses the challenges and successes of adapting her services during the COVID-19 pandemic, emphasizing the importance of humor in leadership and team dynamics.

Dani Klein Modisett is the Founder/CEO of the award-winning company bringing comic relief to those facing Alzheimer’s, Laughter On Call.

LOC was launched to help her mother who became depressed facing the disease. In the ensuing 6 years the company has grown to help all people feeling isolated.

To date it has trained thousands of caregivers and worked with over 600 companies around the world including META, Amazon, Capital One, Bristol Myers and FEMA.

LOC has been featured in The Washington Post, The London Times, The NY Times and AARP Magazine. Dani is also a comedian/actor and author of the books, “Afterbirth: stories you won’t read in a parenting magazine (St. Martin’s Press) “Take My Spouse, Please.” (Penguin Random House) a part-memoir, part how-to for creating shared laughter to keep your marriage happy and healthy.

Dani taught Stand-Up at UCLA for 10 years and has coached keynote speakers, business leaders, and Congressional candidates to use more humor in their communication. She has been a keynote speaker at Women’s Business Enterprise National Council, Dartmouth Entrepreneur Forum, CALA, ICAA and UCLA.

She has run workshops at Stanford, MIT, Columbia, Duke’s Fuqua and Harvard Business School where Laughter On Call is currently a case study.

Her writing has appeared in AARP, NY Times, LA Times, Parents Magazine and many websites. Her many podcast appearances include Stanford’s “When I’m 64,” and “The Tony Robbins Podcast.”

Before becoming an entrepreneur, Dani was an actor who appeared on Broadway and many TV shows including “Law & Order,” “The Lottery,” and “Las Vegas,” for NBC. She was listed in Forbes 50>50 in 2023.

Connect with Dani on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Music Provided by M PATH MUSIC

This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix

TRANSCRIPT

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios, it’s time for Women In Motion. Brought to you by WBEC-West. Join forces. Succeed together. Now, here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here, another episode of Women In Motion and this is going to be a good one. But before we get started, it’s important to recognize our sponsor, WBEC-West. Without them, we couldn’t be sharing these important stories. Today on Women In Motion, we have Dani Klein Modisett, and she is the CEO and Founder of Laughter On Call. Welcome.

Dani Klein Modisett: Thank you so much. What a treat to be here, Lee. Thank you.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am so excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about Laughter On Call. How are you serving folks?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, great. So, our whole mission is to break barriers and build bonds one laugh at a time. So, just to explain what that means, we’re all about collaborative interaction with a focus on human connection. We actually launched in the healthcare space because the company was created when my mother had Alzheimer’s. I know, hard to believe, but, yes, she did.

Dani Klein Modisett: And, really, I was a comedian for 20 years and taught stand-up at UCLA for ten. But when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she became depressed and I couldn’t make her laugh. And I felt really guilty about it because I’d moved to Los Angeles. And I had the idea to hire a comedian, not her daughter, to make her laugh, and it worked. So, we kind of have grown from there. I hired the comedian and my mother started eating again and joining in her community. And I was like, “Oh, wow. This really has to be everywhere.” So, that’s how we launched.

Dani Klein Modisett: We were working with people in the senior world, with people with Alzheimer’s. And then, I started training caregivers in simple comedian’s tools to create connection. And then, COVID hit, so we had to move virtual to keep even seeing our people because seniors were the most vulnerable population. And I created something called Lunchtime Laughter, and it met Monday through Friday from 12:00 to 12:30. It was open to the public, and very quickly, perfectly lucid people were showing up who were feeling isolated in a global pandemic, and wanted to feel connection and the unique experience that laughter delivers of dopamine and endorphins and connection.

Dani Klein Modisett: And so, from there, I started talking to people in HR who were also dealing with isolation, which, of course, we were uniquely qualified to help with. And now, we’re all over the place, Lee. We’re all around the world helping. We continue to help seniors, absolutely, that’s in our soul. And we also work with corporations for team building and morale boosting and bringing more collaboration and creativity. And we’ve worked with over 600 companies, so including Microsoft and Amazon and Capital One. Everybody needs to laugh.

Lee Kantor: So, now, can you talk a little bit about the journey from being a comedian? Like was your intention when you started was to be primarily a professional comedian and use comedy as, you know, kind of your livelihood?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, interesting. You mean in my life?

Lee Kantor: In your life prior to the business.

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, awesome question. Yes. So, I was actually an actor back when you called it actress. And some of you may recognize me from Law and Order. And I did a couple of Broadway tours, and then I came to LA and I was doing TV, and they stick you in a trailer, and I was like, “I want live”. So, I took a class at UCLA in stand-up. It was a present from a boyfriend, frankly. And I loved it. And so, that’s where the comedian – because I was working as a waitress and people were like, “You’re so funny, why are you working as a waitress?” And I was like, “I don’t know.” So, I started doing stand-up, so that’s where the stand-up piece of me developed.

Dani Klein Modisett: And then, I had children. I didn’t want to be in clubs. So, I started writing books, articles and books, and I wrote a book about laughter and marriage called Take My Spouse, Please, which actually is about staying. It sounds like it’s not, but it is. It’s about using the principles and tools of comedy to have a happier marriage. And so, it’s all kind of grown out of that.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, yes, my mission, even unconsciously as a kid, was to help people by getting them to laugh together so we can feel connected to each other. So, yeah, that’s the backstory.

Lee Kantor: So then, at some point you saw the value of making people laugh, and then it sounds like you’ve almost taken a scientific approach of, hey, there’s a way to leverage laughter to help people, not at a club necessarily, or on a stage, but to help people laugh in maybe nontraditional laughing environments.

Dani Klein Modisett: Exactly. No, that’s exactly right. And there is science behind it. I myself am not a scientist, but I do rely on all the studies that are done about the benefits, physical and mental, of laughter itself. Again, something that I took for granted. I know that you feel better after you laugh, but I didn’t understand the specifics, which are feel good hormones are released, there’s an endorphin release, serotonin uptick, dopamine is released, and more oxygen to all the organs too.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, there’s a reason why you feel better. People feel better when they laugh, and that’s just the physical aspect. Mentally, we feel a sense of connection immediately. Like you trust people when you laugh with them, and you feel a sense of belonging, and it breaks through isolation. And then, in terms of this cognitive decline, it’s great help with agitation.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, yes, it was like I had this instinct as a human and then realized that there were lots of studies, ever growing studies about the value of laughter and the healing power. I don’t like to use healing with Alzheimer’s because we’re not there, obviously, in any arena are we healing. But in terms of mitigating the isolation that that disease brings, it’s very, very valuable.

Lee Kantor: So, when you hired the comedian for your mother and you saw the benefits, you know, viscerally and right before your eyes, is that where kind of a light bulb went off and said, hey, maybe there’s a business here, maybe I can offer this to other organizations? Because the transition from, wow, that was a nice thing I did for my mom to now you have a business, like you said, with hundreds of companies that have experienced what you offer.

Dani Klein Modisett: Right. So great. So, actually, the business moment really was the moment when I saw my mother laugh with the comedian. And because I know that there’s an exponentially growing number of families and people facing Alzheimer’s, and I could see that comedians were uniquely gifted to create this connection. So, actually, it was in that moment that I was like, “Oh, gosh. I’m going to have to do this because this could employ comedians and make a difference in people’s lives.”

Dani Klein Modisett: So, I think the interesting or the unexpected evolution was that how relevant – I never could have anticipated that we’d have a global pandemic and that isolation would become this global problem, like feelings of isolation, so I didn’t know at the time that that’s where we were going. But, absolutely, having had the experience of isolation from illness, it was highly transferable to the isolation that people were feeling and continue to feel, frankly, loneliness being a very big issue to be a solution, I think, is the word you use. Yes, a solution.

Lee Kantor: So then, once you had this happen, did you go to the place where your mom was and say, “Hey, we should do this regularly”? Or how did you start, you know, kind of getting into sales mode to make this an offering and a service and how did that kind of evolve?

Dani Klein Modisett: That’s such a great question because I did actually go to where my mother was. That’s where I taught my first caregiver workshop. Because I had a few comedians working – and I don’t mind mentioning their name because I really love this company, Silverado. They’re all about turning fear into love, which was so on point for me because people are so afraid of the illness and they really believe in bringing love – and so they asked me, they’re like, “Wait a minute. We’re seeing what the comedians are doing, can you come up with training for our staff to create a culture where it’s okay to laugh and there’s levity and connection?”

Dani Klein Modisett: And so, I took my course from UCLA and I adapted it, and so that became something that I absolutely am in sales mode, I guess you would say. So, it’s eight tools for self-care and creating connection through all stages of cognition. So that definitely became a specific service that I still teach everywhere. I teach families. I teach communities. I teach hospitals. So, other than the one-on-one, that was the initial service offering.

Dani Klein Modisett: And then, as we’ve grown into the corporate space, we have multiple offerings like Laughter for Leadership, Yes, And Solution for Team Building. There’s a number of services that we offer depending on what a company needs.

Lee Kantor: And so, now, what does the sales conversation look like when you’re talking to an organization? What’s the pain they’re having right before they are like, “Oh. I better call Dani and her team”?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh. So, one of the biggest challenges post-COVID is that we’re still in hybrid environments, so that’s a big one. So, you have people that maybe never even see each other. And we’ve done a lot of work internationally, in fact, with teams in India and teams in Ireland, and three people in Wisconsin, I always say because everybody has somebody in Wisconsin. And the idea that you can bring these people together to laugh, to create connection, because once people laugh together, they’re that much more comfortable reaching out to each other and sharing ideas, and so that’s a big one.

Dani Klein Modisett: There’s generational challenges in businesses because you have millennials and you have older people and younger. And so, being able to create human connection regardless of your status, regardless of your culture or gender, we really span across any culture that needs to create a stronger culture of collaboration. A lot of C words, but collaboration, innovation, team building, morale boosting. We’ve kicked off a lot of all hands events where people want to feel excited about the future and working together. That’s what we’re able to deliver.

Lee Kantor: And you don’t get pushback with, “Oh, comedy? This is work. This is serious.” Like there’s no —

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, absolutely, Lee. And more than getting pushback about that, which we have gotten occasionally, it’s, “Oh. I won’t be taken seriously as a leader if I make people laugh.” And there are studies simply that’s not true. Leaders with a sense of humor are 27 percent more motivating than not. So, leaders who can access humor – but let me be very clear about this, it’s not any humor, it’s not aggressive humor, it’s not sarcasm. We travel specifically in affiliative humor.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, anyone who wants a little scholarly insight, you can look up affiliative humor, but it’s very much like the word it’s derived from. So, it’s about affiliation. It’s humor that makes people feel good. So, there’s no putdown humor. It’s really about kind of poking fun at the human condition, like where we all meet as humans. And that’s a really important distinction. We make that at the top of anything we do. We are a laughing with company, never a laughing at company. We even have like a move on phrase, if somebody says something in an interactive improv exercise and somebody throws something out snarky, we will say, “Okay. New choice. New choice. Let’s move on.”

Dani Klein Modisett: So, we really are invested in everybody feeling safe and seen and heard. That’s the value of what we’re delivering.

Lee Kantor: Now, is that a training challenge on your part to get comedians to follow the rules like that? Because, you know, comedians aren’t exactly follow the rules kind of people.

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, my goodness. You are right, except there is a big distinction between stand-up comedians and improv comedians. So, as we’ve established, I came from stand-up, and some of the improv rules were a big adjustment to me, which, one of them is like make your partner look good. That’s like an improv rule, which is like, I don’t know, I never felt that way backstage at a comedy. I’m doing stand-up. So, I love that one, building on each other’s ideas, Yes, And is a really big principle.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, in answer to your question, I hire mostly improv people now because, also, we’re working internationally and working in cognitive decline. So, the comedy, we don’t come in and entertain. I mean, we will. We just did an event where we will if that’s what the client wants. But really it’s about engaging people. So, pop culture references and cynical side jokes, that’s not going to achieve what we want.

Dani Klein Modisett: But the improv tools are really, really valuable, like accepting imperfection, saying Yes, And, these kinds of tools. Which literally that is a phrase, Yes, And, you’re saying those words. And what it really says is I hear you and have you thought about this? So, getting people who have that kind of experience that’s so generous and expansive and actually yields identifiable results in corporate cultures, those are the people that work for me.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, once in a while at stand-up will approach and they have to have a very special background. If they had a grandparent with Alzheimer’s or worked for a senior community, it’s a certain type of personality that is drawn to comedy that is generous and kind, and those are the comedians. So, I do train. Obviously, there’s training for sure. But out of the gate, your approach has to be one of kindness and generosity.

Lee Kantor: So, now you have this community of comedians that you give side hustles to help?

Dani Klein Modisett: Yes. Are you finding that funny? I heard you laugh.

Lee Kantor: Well, I mean, I think it’s great because, I mean, it’s a very difficult industry to break into.

Dani Klein Modisett: Exactly. Well, that was that moment with my mother where I was like, “Wait a minute. I could actually employ a lot of people who need work.” So, yes, the answer is yes. We have people all over the country. We have people in Canada. And it’s really fantastic. We run them through the training, we tell them all the principles, and then they’re on their own. We work virtually and in-person.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, for instance, this week we were in SoHo in New York City, and simultaneously at a senior community in Los Angeles, which is so heartwarming. I have like a head of senior, Nikki Ghisel. She’s a brilliant comedian and the best of what we do. So, we have things running simultaneously.

Lee Kantor: So, why was it important for you to become part of the WBEC-West community?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, my goodness. That was such a stroke of luck. That was crazy. I was looking to get the WOSB certification, and then stumbled on WBENC and the whole world of WBENC, and I love it. I’m a huge fan. I was a speaker at the national conference for WBENC last year and I’ve done many, many of their workshops. And I just think it’s an amazing alternate universe of passionate women with crazy ideas like mine, who are committed and really want to learn, and really want to get either their product or their service out in the world. So, it’s so wonderful to have like-minded women and the infrastructure that WBEC-West supports, and all the WBENC organizations around the country. Yeah, it was a wonderful stroke of luck. Love it.

Lee Kantor: So, is there a story you can share about your work that maybe illustrates the power of this type of training and this type of interaction with corporations or the seniors? You don’t have to name the name of the company, but maybe talk about why.

Dani Klein Modisett: I have a great story. I have a great story. But I do have to say the F word in order for the story to land.

Lee Kantor: You have to? I don’t know if that’s going to work.

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, okay. Then, I don’t have to. Can I say eff?

Lee Kantor: Yes.

Dani Klein Modisett: Okay. Okay. I’ll say eff and it’s just as funny. Okay. So, the point is that I had an investor. I was very fortunate to have an investor to launch. And then, her money people changed and so I had to go and meet with them. And at the time, we were not profitable so that was going to be – it wasn’t an easy conversation to have. I was anxious about it.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, this is when we first went virtual, and this was early in COVID. People really didn’t know how to use Zoom like we all do now. And it was a Happier Hour. That’s one of our services is something called a Happier Hour, and it’s highly interactive, super fun. There’s a warm-up at the top. We introduce this is going to be silly. And we’re doing an event for, like, maybe 100.

Dani Klein Modisett: And so, this woman comes on and she has like a beer, because it’s a Happier Hour so they were drinking. And she just looks around and she’s like, “What in the actual eff is this?” And everyone started laughing and they were like like, “Sarah, you’re not muted. You’re not muted.” And so, it was really, really funny. I thought it was really funny. I think that’s like found art. Some of my people were a little concerned, but I thought it was super, super funny.

Dani Klein Modisett: So, meeting with the financial people, I tell them the story, full committed — fully committed and they start laughing because it’s funny, because it was human error. And then, they started to tell me about the challenges they were having in their company and how hard it was to get people to come into the office, and the absence of mentorship and their concerns about the future of the company because of this.

Dani Klein Modisett: And I think that was the most brilliant example of what’s possible when you get people laughing. Like it was a little bit cold in the room, and then I told that story, and suddenly we all laughed together. We had an experience of accepting imperfection and human frailty and then the doors were open.

Dani Klein Modisett: And there’s this belief that, you know, if you want to get people listening, get them laughing first. And I just think that was such an amazing example of that. So, that’s one of my favorite stories about the use of laughter.

Lee Kantor: So, what do you need more of? How can we help you? Do you need more clients? Do you need more funding? Do you need more comedians? What do you need?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, thank you for asking. We just need more clients. Like, we’ve been really boosting our lead situation because we have wonderful testimonials, we have video, we have wonderful programing that really makes a difference. And we just need more people to know about us, so that’s what I’ve been focused on. So, if you know anyone who needs some collaboration, having any tension or transitioning, maybe hybrid, you know, a lot of companies even gave up their commercial space, so anybody in that circumstance.

Dani Klein Modisett: And then, I do a lot of coaching also. Just personally, I do a lot of executive coaching, leadership, laughter for leadership, people who want to be more approachable, have their ideas land more fully and have some courage to present some vulnerability, because that’s a big tool for leadership, to be able to presence your vulnerability in a crafted way. So, yeah, that’s what we’re available for and super eager and all of that.

Lee Kantor: So, if somebody is interested in learning more, what’s the website? What’s the best way to connect?

Dani Klein Modisett: Oh, the best way to connect is to go to laughteroncall.com or @laughteroncall on all social media. And you can also reach me, Dani, D-A-N-I, @laughteroncall.com and @danikleinmodisett on all social, and we will get right back to you.

Lee Kantor: Well, Dani, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Dani Klein Modisett: Thank you, Lee. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor, we’ll see you all next time on Women In Motion.

BRX Pro Tip: How BRX Helps You Own Your Backyard

March 18, 2025 by angishields

BRX Pro Tips

BRX Pro Tip: How BRX Helps You Own Your Backyard

00:00 /

BRX Pro Tip: How BRX Helps You Own Your Backyard

Stone Payton: Welcome back to Business RadioX Pro Tips. Lee Kantor and Stone Payton here with you. Lee, it’s been some years now, but one of our clients in a show concept strategy session, the light bulb kind of went off for him and he said, “This thing, it really helps you own your backyard.” Can you kind of describe what he meant by that and how Business RadioX really does help you own your backyard?

Lee Kantor: Yeah. Owning your backyard is so important for most professional service providers. You know, it’d be great if they can get clients from all over the planet, the world’s big and there’s eight billion people and all that. But for most people, they just need to have a couple more clients each year near them, you know, in their neighborhood, in their town, in their city.

Lee Kantor: So, what could you be doing to own your backyard? Business RadioX, partnering with Business RadioX, being a studio partner, and/or sponsoring a show is a great way to do that if you want to build that brand ubiquity without spending a fortune on advertising. If you want to differentiate yourself from all your competition without spending ad dollars and hoping somebody contacts you, then you should be getting ahold of your Business RadioX studio partner in your market or becoming a Business RadioX studio partner.

Lee Kantor: We have shown hundreds of professional service providers how to be a big fish in a small pond by being the official business storyteller in their community. They instantly become mega connectors. They instantly become the go-to resource who knows everyone who matters most to them in their market. They have that secret weapon that helps them accelerate and build relationships with the hard to reach business leaders they need to know. And they become an indispensable resource for the ecosystem that they serve.

Lee Kantor: Business RadioX works best for the challenger brand that’s tired of being a best kept secret, and they don’t have the massive ad budget that their deep pocketed market leader has. That person should be contacting Business RadioX because we can help them stand out, serve the people that matter most to them, and grow their business in an elegant, unique, impactful way.

Personal Development + Mindset Coach Nicole Comis

March 17, 2025 by angishields

High Velocity Radio

Personal Development + Mindset Coach Nicole Comis

00:00 /

Nicole Comis is not your average coach—she’s a powerhouse of transformation.

As a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a Master Coach in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy®, and Hypnotherapy, she helps high achievers break free from the unconscious patterns keeping them stuck.

With years of deep coaching experience and extensive training, Nicole has mastered guiding professionals and business leaders toward incredible transformation. Nicole helps her clients gain the clarity, confidence, and courage to think bigger, push past self-imposed limits, and create a life that truly excites them.

Whether it’s scaling their career, building a thriving business, or finally prioritizing their happiness and fulfillment, she helps them achieve more than they imagined. Her clients come to her for career growth, leadership development, and personal fulfillment, but they leave with a radical shift in how they see themselves and their future.

Nicole’s coaching transforms not just what her clients do but who they become.

Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn and Facebook.

This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix.

TRANSCRIPT

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Stone Payton: Welcome to the High Velocity Radio show, where we celebrate top performers producing better results and less time. Stone Payton here with you this afternoon. You guys are in for a real treat. Please join me in welcoming to the broadcast personal development and mindset coach Nicole Comis. How are you?

Nicole Comis: I’m so good, Stone, and thank you for having me.

Stone Payton: Well, it’s exciting to have you in studio. I know we reached out to you because we specifically wanted to have you come share your story. And typically this particular series we’ve been doing virtually, and we learned that, you know what? We don’t have to do that. We’re close enough. We can go into the studio. So it’s a delight to have you here. I got a ton of questions, so we probably won’t get to them all, but let’s start with just describing a little bit about mission purpose. How are you out there trying to help folks?

Nicole Comis: Oh my goodness. Well, I mean, my purpose really is to help people live their best lives, whatever that looks like for them. You know, um, so many driven professionals tend to focus on their business or their career, and they put on hold the things that matter most. They they sacrifice their relationships and their health. And I really want to help people live their best life with every area of life, their careers, their business, their their relationships and their health and their confidence. All of it.

Stone Payton: Wow, that sounds like noble. Just true work, if you can get it. Yeah. What’s, uh. What was that career path like? How did you end up doing this?

Nicole Comis: So I started in the mortgage business. Um, it.

Stone Payton: Makes perfect sense.

Nicole Comis: Yes. So similar. Right? But I was in the mortgage business. I was probably two years in, and I watched a very good friend of mine and coworker completely transform in front of me. And this is 2003. So coaching was not a common thing. And I didn’t know what she was doing, but I didn’t care because I just wanted whatever it was. And so she was working with a coach. And so I started working with my first coach and it completely changed my life. I used to be that girl that looked in the mirror, and all I saw was everything that was wrong with me. And coaching helped me develop my confidence. It helped me work through challenges I was having at work and in my career relationships, and I became a better version of myself. And fast forward to 2008, the housing market crash happened and so did my happiness and my career and my income and my identity. And so for years I struggled trying to get that love and passion that I once had for my career back five years, to be exact. And it just wasn’t happening. And so I reached out to another coach of a friend of mine and two sessions in, she started laughing and she goes, Nicole, you want to be a coach with your life? And I’m like, you’re right, I do. And I enrolled in a coach training program, and a couple of weeks later, I quit my job and went all in on coaching.

Stone Payton: Wow, man. I applaud you for jumping off the Or, at least from my perspective, that feels like jumping off the cliff.

Nicole Comis: Oh, it felt like jumping for sure.

Stone Payton: Man. Making that transition, it had to be intimidating. It had to be scary. But you made you did a couple things. You got your inspiration or your maybe partially permission to go try this from someone who was a coach and and you went and got some formal training, it sounds like. Oh, speak to that a little bit.

Nicole Comis: So I went through a incredibly intense one year training program where we met in person once a month, Saturday and Sunday, ten 12 hour days. Wow. Incredibly intense and awesome. And we also worked with a coach to work on our stuff to grow as a person and, you know, work through the challenges we’re having in our lives and achieve goals that we wanted to achieve. And, um, so I went through that program and it’s a ICF International Coach Federation.

Stone Payton: Well, I’ve been hearing about this because I’ve been talking to a lot of coaches. That’s right. Yes.

Nicole Comis: So the International Coach Federation is our governing body for coaching. And it really is the, you know, the the standard for coaching. And so it is a the school that I went through, it was credentialed through them. And so then I went through that program. I got certified through the ICF afterwards. So I went on to earn that credentialing, and then I stayed on as a mentor coach the second year.

Stone Payton: Oh, wow.

Nicole Comis: It’s kind of like grad school of coaching. When you teach somebody, you you learn more, you know, and it takes you deeper. So that’s my original training. And then three and a half years ago, I, I kind of started nerding out on the mind and found how powerful our subconscious mind is. And so I went on to get certified as a master practitioner of neuro linguistic programing, hypnotherapy and timeline therapy. So yeah, it’s pretty cool.

Stone Payton: This gal has the street grid. So, uh, not to try to go through the whole curriculum by any means, but what are some of the skills or disciplines or strategies? What’s an example of a couple of things that you you go and you learn and you practice. I’m in I’m assuming a relatively safe environment. Oh, yeah. And when you’re going through this IVF thing or something like it.

Nicole Comis: Oh yeah. So they have um, we would get, you know, we would coach other participants.

Stone Payton: Oh, so you’re getting real flight time to practice all of these things.

Nicole Comis: And then the trainers would grade you.

Stone Payton: Oh, my.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. So it was a little intimidating, but it was incredible because you learned. You learned. You learn by doing, not by reading, you know. And so they really pride themselves on making the best of the best. And so, um, you know, active listening is huge. Um, following the client’s agenda, not your own agenda. Right. So, um, you know, asking, you know, questions, um, you know, accountability. All of those things were part of our training.

Stone Payton: Yeah. Wow.

Stone Payton: So you mentioned earlier in the conversation, uh, people have a tendency sometimes, maybe often, to hold themselves back. I’m interested in hearing you speak more to that, and why you didn’t hold yourself back when you saw when you were taking this opportunity.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. So you mean when I. When I took the opportunity to quit my job after.

Stone Payton: Yes. That seems like the perfect opportunity to hold oneself back.

Nicole Comis: Oh, yes. Well, you know what happens for me, and I tell this to my clients, too, is when you get really clear on your vision, you start making decisions aligned with your vision and your values. Right? And I made the decision that I wanted to be a coach, and I felt like it was out of integrity for me to continue to work for somebody else and pretend that I was all in. Right. And so I knew that I could be all in on, you know, growing as a coach and starting to build my coaching practice. Or I can go out and still sell mortgages, but it would be very hard to do both. At least. Both. Well.

Nicole Comis: And I loved the boss that I worked for. I worked I worked for him for 13 years. He had opened a an incredible mortgage company, and I really valued my relationship with him and everybody in the company. And I didn’t feel like it was fair for me to go become a coach and go through this training and start building a coaching business and not be, you know, 100% for him, too.

Stone Payton: And there are apparently, uh, well, I guess you’d call them specialties within this. I mean, within this, um, discipline. And you really gravitated more and more to mindset. I think you, you mentioned speak more to that, if you will. And if there is an element and I suspect there is of the subconscious, the impact the subconscious has on the decisions we’re making, the words we’re saying, the actions we’re taking.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. So we you know, my big thing is personal development and mindset. I believe that when you focus on growing as a person and becoming the best version of you, everything else takes off. So I had a client who, um, hired me after five years of owning his business. He had taken his business from to $1 million, and he, you know, worked all of the time. He slept at the office, all of that. He hired me and we started working together. And five years later, his business was worth $10 million.

Stone Payton: Wow.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. And he said that he contributes that to taking care of his health and wellbeing, working on his mindset. Just all of the personal development stuff, because you can only take your business as far as you’re willing to go, right? And you can your business can only be as good as you are. So that’s my belief, is that when you work on the person, the rest falls into place. Especially the mindset because our unconscious mind or a subconscious controls 90 to 95% of everything we do. That’s where our beliefs are, our fears, our values. Um, that’s where we our habits are. Everything starts at the subconscious level.

Stone Payton: It seems to a layperson like me, or at least this layperson, that that would be. I don’t find that difficult to to believe at all. Um, but it sounds intimidating. It sounds like like it would be very difficult to tap into that and much less shift it.

Nicole Comis: Okay. So let me normalize it for you.

Nicole Comis: So tapping into your subconscious isn’t like, um, being in trance, right? It’s not like I’ve got a little.

Stone Payton: Like the watch going back and forth, right? Right, right, right.

Nicole Comis: You’re getting very sleepy. Um, so what it really is, is about, you know, um, think about a number from 1 to 100. What’s the first number that popped into your head?

Stone Payton: Uh, 50 for me.

Nicole Comis: Was it the very first number, or did your conscious mind get involved in the first number? Was something else, and then your conscious mind said, oh, no, this one.

Stone Payton: Actually probably 61, because that’s how old I am. Yeah.

Nicole Comis: Well. And so what happens is what our, our unconscious mind is always that first answer.

Stone Payton: Ah.

Nicole Comis: Then our conscious mind gets involved and starts saying, no, no, no, that’s not the right one. Say this instead.

Stone Payton: And so that’s what I said right here in front of God and everybody. And on air I said 50, but really.

Nicole Comis: 61 was the first one.

Stone Payton: And maybe because that’s been on my brain a little bit, that I’m 61 years old and I need to be getting a lot more done a lot faster. No. You’re perfect. You look great. I got all these stuff. You’re really helping me tap into this stuff right now. This is real world.

Nicole Comis: Real world. Yeah. So, I mean, and so when I work with my clients, I. I pay attention more to what they’re saying underneath the the story, if that makes sense.

Stone Payton: Well, it makes sense, but what a tremendous skill. Oh my gracious, to be able to read beneath the between the lines and underneath the story, man. Yeah.

Nicole Comis: It’s cool. It’s really cool.

Stone Payton: So what does that look like? Is it as simple? And I don’t mean to to to say that it’s less than when I use the word simple. Is it as simple though the mental image I have of just, you know, you and I sitting here and having a conversation, I got to believe there’s some structure, some discipline, some rigor to what you’re walking me through. But my experience of it may be a lot of just conversation.

Nicole Comis: Yes, it’s definitely conversation. Okay. And I, I don’t do anything that’s not fun. So I like to laugh and I like to have a good time. And so what what it really comes down to is that we can unpack the, the deep stuff and still have fun in the process. So, you know, some people think that coaching can be, you know, really hard work. And sure, it’s it’s powerful work, but I don’t think it has to be hard. It doesn’t have to be painful. Right. And so when I work with my clients, you know, I, I just keep asking questions to go deeper and deeper and deeper. So it is it’s just like you and I talking right now, except instead of you asking me questions, I’m asking you questions. And, you know, I’ll just keep asking questions to go deeper and deeper into what’s going on.

Stone Payton: Well, you’ve touched on an important point. I think it was another interview, I think that I had where the the lady was trying to describe the difference between a consultant and a coach. Uh, and there really is quite a distinction on the coaching side of things. It’s much more about sort of letting that person, well, you I’ll let you articulate it. Yeah.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. Well, so with coaching, we believe we’re partners. It’s two equals two coming together. Right for the same goal. My goal is my client’s goal. And, you know, with consulting, you have a superior somebody who’s an expert in right, marketing, right, or business development. And that person’s going to tell you what you need to do. Where I believe that you have the answers inside of you. There’s just some gook in the way that we got to clear out and really help you discover what those answers are. Does that make sense?

Stone Payton: It makes a lot of sense. So the work mostly with individuals or with teams, or is it several individuals in an organization? And then in the second part of that question is can you achieve some kind of like, uh, capability transfer, like you’re leaving them with coaching skills that they can at least model if not replicate?

Nicole Comis: Oh, sure. I mean, they definitely can model. You know, that’s how we learn. I mean, you think about a child learning to walk or to eat, right? They pay attention to, you know, your kids or their parents, you know. Um, we learn by modeling. And so and that’s actually one of the reasons why they thought it was so important for us to have coaches. And my coach training program is because it’s another way for us to learn how to coach is by being coached. Right? So, you know, and then, you know, there’s always pointers that I give, um, whether it’s in relationship or, you know, to employees or, you know, different things like that. Um, but mostly, you know, there’s a little bit of training that happens. There’s, you know, consulting a little bit. But for the most part, it’s about helping the clients discover the answers inside of them.

Stone Payton: So, um, partially answering for a very selfish reason. In my role here in Business RadioX, a big part of my responsibility is to go out and recruit and initially train someone to run a Business RadioX studio. Right. And I am a bit of a subject matter expert in that you know how to get set up, how to really help people and make money. And so I’m thinking in the early going, I’m not coaching, I’m mentoring, I’m training that kind of. But, you know, once they’ve been at it a year or two and they’re really they really are peers that I should be wearing more of a coaching hat and probably get a lot better at at least exercising some of the, the, the disciplines that you do. Right.

Nicole Comis: Well, it depends on what what outcome you’re looking for. Yeah, right. It’s like, well what’s the intention behind that? Is it, you know, because my suspicion is that there’s still that mentor that you get to be to these people.

Stone Payton: Mhm.

Nicole Comis: Um, and you know, you can bounce back and forth. Right. You can be a mentor. And then some conversations might be a little bit more coaching conversations, some may be more consulting conversations. And you can flow between them. Um, to me coaching is just about, you know, you know, for you anyway, it’s about getting clear on what the person wants and what’s the outcome that they’re looking for.

Stone Payton: Okay, but but a professional coach, someone who is in your capacity, you’re in that other role. 100% of the time. Oh, I got the idea a moment ago when you were talking about asking the right questions and helping them uncover and tap in. I would think you could not stay only limited to, you know, Stone and running a studio in stone and trying to scale the network. You probably have to talk about the whole stone, right? Like the. Is that is that accurate?

Nicole Comis: Yeah, I talk about ask.

Stone Payton: I should say ask about the whole stone. Right. See, I’m learning like he can be taught.

Nicole Comis: You can be taught. So yes, with my work, all of my clients create goals for their business. Most of my clients are business owners or executives. So they create career goals. They create relationship goals, health and well-being goals, and personal development goals and then whatever other goals that they want to create. Because I believe that you’re a whole person. You’re not just one part of whatever area you want to work on. So they’re integrated you, you know, and the thing I tell my clients all the time is that your health and wellbeing is the foundation of everything you do and everything you don’t do. So how do you treat your body? Everything you don’t? Yes. Everything you don’t do. And relationships are literally programed for connection, right? So, you know, making sure that those two areas are a priority is so important for people who have big things they want to accomplish in their career.

Stone Payton: Okay, I want to go back to this idea of subconscious and having the subconscious work for me instead of me, instead of me. Maybe I’m trying to be too controlling instead of me working for, um, for it, but, uh, I mean, do you ever run into any resistance or raised eyebrows when you start to talk about, you know, the subconscious having that much of an impact? And if so, how do you get people past that initial bristling with it? And maybe you don’t? I could just see maybe a raised eyebrow from hearing again. I don’t know.

Nicole Comis: I do my best to try and normalize things for people and and to meet them where they’re at. So in the work that I do, all of my clients get a breakthrough session, which is a full day intensive. I usually split into two half days, where we unpack a specific problem or area of life that they want to focus on, and we unpack limiting beliefs and fears and negative emotions and inner conflict and values and all all the stuff that’s underneath. So what I really tell people is that we’re going to work through and unpack those roadblocks that are there to the thing that you want, right. Because there’s a gap between where we are to what we want. And one of those things that we get to address are the unconscious roadblocks. And so, you know, people tend to say, I’m willing to do it right. Like, okay, you know, and.

Stone Payton: By the time they’re willing to come to you and write you a check, they’ve they’ve moved in that direction to some degree that they’re willing to try something. Right. Because.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. Well, and also it’s not you know, it’s not it’s also the language that you use. Right. So, you know, meeting people where they’re at. So I may say, have you ever heard of the subconscious? We start there. Right. So then we talk about that a little bit, you know, a lot of a lot more people than you think are familiar with the, you know, the subconscious. Okay. Um, you know, our habits. So if you think about driving, you consciously learned how to drive. But now when you drive, you don’t think about.

Stone Payton: It, right?

Nicole Comis: That’s your subconscious. It’s it’s as simple as that. Right. So it’s teaching them that we’re just going to unpack what those things are for them.

Stone Payton: So at this point in your career, what are you finding the most rewarding? What’s the most fun about it these days for you?

Nicole Comis: Oh, I love watching people transform. I mean, it’s the coolest thing to. I had a client say to me not that long ago. It was actually a Instagram post that she she posted to her friend saying, it is so cool how my mind works now. I am a totally different person, I think different. I’m kinder to myself and she’s like, my mind is so different than it used to be and that’s just so cool, right? Having people build up their confidence and trust themselves more and and hit goals that they never thought that they could hit. You know, it’s just really cool to watch them get the life that they want to live.

Stone Payton: That has to feel incredibly good. You must sleep very well at night knowing that you’re really putting you’re putting a dent in the universe. Uh, you’ve been at this long enough now, and I can just hear it in your in your voice and see it in your eyes. I’m sure you’re well past this, but I want to talk about the business side of running a coaching practice, particularly in the early, I’m going to say years because I don’t I’m not sure you can pull it off in months of something as simple and straightforward as going out and getting your first handful of clients. And then it may be how that may be quite a bit be quite different these days. Yeah, yeah.

Nicole Comis: Well, you know, I was trained to be a really great coach. I was not trained to be a marketing expert.

Stone Payton: Oh, yeah.

Nicole Comis: And when you own a business, you wear all of those hats. You need to be a, you know, CFO and a, you know, marketing expert and the, you know, the admin and all of the things. And, um, to me, that was the hardest part, specifically the marketing, because my brain doesn’t work naturally like that. I was a numbers girl. I am a numbers girl. You know that. I was always problem solving. Right, right. And so, you know, that was that was the biggest challenge for me was the marketing piece and things with marketing, especially with social media change so quickly that trying to stay on top of that and being the best coach I can be and, you know, learning all these other things, it’s it’s a challenge.

Stone Payton: Yeah, I’ll bet, I’ll bet it is. So at this point, though, you probably my experience has been nothing sells like doing good work. Yes. So that probably.

Nicole Comis: Word of mouth.

Stone Payton: I have that track record behind you. But but I do feel for people who who, uh, you know, initially when they’re coming into this profession or really any professional services provider kind of, uh, profession, I think a lot of them struggle with it. Mhm. Yeah.

Nicole Comis: Yeah, absolutely.

Stone Payton: But here again you didn’t let it hold you back, right?

Nicole Comis: I don’t know if it’s stubbornness or determination. No, no, it’s definitely. This is my purpose, you know? And when you feel it in your heart. And I’ll be completely transparent. Last March, my whole business crashed.

Stone Payton: Oh, really?

Nicole Comis: Yeah. So I it just so happened I had several clients complete at the same time. Um, I had one client who stayed, but his business partner and him broke up, and so he couldn’t afford to pay me for two months. So it was just bizarre. And I questioned everything. You know, I, I was very I was in a hard place and, um, thank God for my mom, you know, because she was she was my rock, and, um, and I needed to step back and really assess what I was doing. And it actually is why I decided that I am incorporating a breakthrough in every single, you know, coaching relationship that I have, because I believe that that’s the missing piece for any of the work. You know, we can consciously go after goals and achieve things, but if we don’t change how we think, it’s going to take a lot of effort. And, um, kind of in a way, self-manipulation, you know, and so it takes so much effort and work to go after those goals if you don’t change how you think. And so I decided, you know, that to me, that’s my purpose is really helping people change their thoughts and their, you know, their beliefs and really become stronger mindset wise. And so I now incorporate that into all of the work that I do. And I also realized that my purpose, what I, where I thrive is being with people I don’t I don’t thrive behind a computer screen. I don’t, you know, writing blog posts or social media posts. It doesn’t excite me. It doesn’t bring me joy. And it’s not. It just doesn’t work for me. And so I got out there and I started developing relationships and doing more networking, and I feel better than I have felt in years.

Stone Payton: Oh that’s fantastic. Well, shout out to mom and kudos to you. We’ve got like a half a dozen examples of you living into this work that you’re trying to bring to bring to other people. Uh, I don’t want to hit on it too hard because it sounds like you’ve you’ve figured out a way to navigate yourself, certainly. And others through, uh, any initial trepidation. But what would you say is the most prevalent misunderstanding, misconception, preconceived notion about coaching in general? And certainly, you know, mindset and personal development coaching. Do you run into some of the same stuff?

Nicole Comis: I think that there’s with coaching, they you know, some people think that you’re going to give them advice, you’re going to fix things for them. And you know, and that’s one of the hard things. You know, I for me, anyway, is that there? You don’t have to be a credentialed coach to go out there and say, I’m a coach. And so there’s life coaches out there who have no education, no training, no credentialing, you know, executive coach, same thing. Right. All different kinds of coaches who out there and just saying I’m a coach. And they may be there might be coaches who are amazing and awesome. And then there’s other coaches who are out there saying, okay, what you need to do is X, Y, and Z. What happens is if I told you what you needed to do, if you’re not on board with it, it just it doesn’t it doesn’t work. I once had a coach who told me, you know, Nicole, you need to get out and you need to do Facebook Live three times a week. And she went through this whole list of all these things I needed to do to to grow my business. I got off the phone, I’m like, yep, I don’t want to do any of them. Whereas if I asked you, you know. Hey, well, what have you tried before? I could have asked. Have you ever thought of Facebook Live? I heard that like it was amazing. And then we would have a conversation and unpack. Maybe why you wouldn’t want to do that? And what would be more aligned with where you are and who you are.

Stone Payton: Because to your point, if it’s not going to happen, if there’s yeah.

Nicole Comis: It’s not going to happen.

Stone Payton: It’s not going to happen. Hey, I’m going to switch gears on you here for just a minute. Uh, interest, hobbies outside the scope of the work we’re talking about. Most of my listeners know that I like to hunt, fish and travel. Yeah. Uh, what’s your thing outside the scope of this work?

Nicole Comis: Oh, my. Um, I love music, I love music, um, I love music, live music. I have two little nephews. Well, well, they’re not that little anymore. Nine and seven, and, um, they’re my favorite people in the world. Oh, and I have a 25 year old nephew, too, who’s pretty awesome. But he, you know, he’s too cool to hang out with me.

Stone Payton: Sure.

Nicole Comis: So, um, you know, hanging out with them is so fun. Um, I, I moved here. I told you before we started that I moved here, um, in April of 2020, and my whole family’s together for the first time since 1992. And I love family barbecues and birthday celebrations and Sunday dinners, and that’s. That’s cool.

Stone Payton: I want all of you to know this is a very authentic answer. So because I know this, before we came on here, we did a sound check and I asked her what she was going to do this weekend. And she said, I’m going to go watch my nephews play soccer. That’s right. So this is real. You’re getting the real Nicole here. She’s not making this stuff up. Yeah. No, I could tell how I could just see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice and how much you enjoy being with family. And it sounds like two very bright stars in your life. Are these nephews?

Nicole Comis: Yes. Well, three.

Stone Payton: 303.

Nicole Comis: Just the 25 year old is, you.

Stone Payton: Know, okay, too.

Nicole Comis: Cool for me.

Stone Payton: We’ll give him some props.

Nicole Comis: That’s right.

Stone Payton: Oh my gracious. Well, listen, before we wrap, I would love to if we could leave our listeners with 1 or 2 pro tips kind of tied to what we’ve been talking about. I’ll frame it up as, you know, producing better results in less time. But maybe specifically with respect to this, you know, trying to get our arms around this mindset personal development thing. So and look gang, the number one pro tip reach out and have a conversation with Nicole. Yes that’s what I did. I tell them all the time. Look you want to talk to some really smart, passionate people and get some good counsel? Get yourself a radio show, right. Just.

Nicole Comis: Oh. That’s great.

Stone Payton: But no, that’s my number one. Pro tip is reach out and talk to Nicole. But let’s give them something to chew on between now and then.

Nicole Comis: Yeah. So, you know, circling back to last March when when everything went upside down in my business, one of the things and I believe it’s because of all the work that I did, it was painful. It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had in a long time, since before the housing market crashed when I was in the mortgage business. The thing that kept me going was that I. I didn’t know why it was happening and like I said, it was painful, but I knew it was happening for me, that it was something better was on the other side, and that I needed to take a step back and assess where what I was doing and what was aligned with my heart. And to me, that trust is what puts I mean, it is so powerful when you can trust that your life is turning out the way it’s meant to. That you just need to reassess.

Stone Payton: Wow. Talk about breakthrough. If if one can reach a point where they genuinely believe that what’s happening externally from the world is is not happening to me. It’s happening for me. Wow. You talk about a mindset shift. Yeah, that’s a goal. That’s a that’s a pearl right there, babe.

Nicole Comis: Yeah.

Stone Payton: So what’s next for you? And how can we help? Is there a book in you? Is there the Nicole methodology is there.

Nicole Comis: The pressure is.

Stone Payton: On the Nicole certification process.

Nicole Comis: You know, right now I am just focusing on one on one clients. And, um, I there is a online program that might be in the future. It’s just not not there yet. Um, don’t.

Stone Payton: Let it hold you back.

Nicole Comis: No, no. It won’t. It’s just I have to wrap my head around it because I believe true transformation happens in one on one conversations. Yeah, yeah. However, a very intelligent young woman who is part of one of my networking friends said to me, there are people who want your work, who just aren’t ready to go to that one on one place yet. So, you know, give them a little something. We need a little something. So so that’s in my that’s in the back of my mind. And I’m processing that and seeing what that’s going to look like. But I think that’s that’s something that I’ll probably come out maybe next quarter.

Stone Payton: Well I hope if and when you do that and I have every confidence that you will because I don’t think you’ll let anything hold you back. I hope you’ll let us know, and I hope you’ll stay connected with us and let us continue to to follow your story.

Nicole Comis: I would love that.

Stone Payton: Thank you. So what’s the best way for our listeners to tap into your work and connect with you? Whatever coordinates are appropriate, but let’s give them a way to do that.

Nicole Comis: Sure. I think the easiest way is to go to my website at Nicole Combs Coaching.com, and all of my socials are on there too. Instagram, Facebook. Um, but my website is, is where, where it’s all at.

Stone Payton: That’s right. Because we don’t like the social as much. I think we uncovered that in the stone coaching session that we did. What’s the website one more time, Nicole.

Nicole Comis: Com’s Coaching.com.

Stone Payton: Nicole. It has been an absolute delight visiting with you this afternoon. You are a breath of fresh air. You’re inspiring. You have such a marvelous perspective. I took copious notes. Amazing. And you and I are definitely going to stay connected. Well, well beyond this. Thank you so much. The work you’re doing is so important and we sure appreciate you.

Nicole Comis: Oh thank you.

Stone Payton: My pleasure. All right, until next time. This is Stone Payton for our guest today, Nicole Combs and everyone here at the Business RadioX family saying we’ll see you in the fast lane.

BRX Pro Tip: What is Your Prospecting Strategy?

March 17, 2025 by angishields

BRX Pro Tips

BRX Pro Tip: What is Your Prospecting Strategy?

00:00 /

BRX Pro Tip: What is Your Prospecting Strategy?

Stone Payton: And we are back with Business RadioX Pro Tips. Lee Kantor and Stone Payton here with you this afternoon. Today’s question, Lee, what is your prospecting strategy?

Lee Kantor: Yeah. I think a good prospecting strategy has some fundamental things that I’d like to discuss here. One is a clear understanding of who that ideal client is. Number one, you have to know who that person is and you have to know where they hang out. And once you kind of determine that and you get a handle of, okay, these are my ideal clients, this is where they hang out, now I have to come up with some sort of elegant and effective way to meet them in order to build a relationship.

Lee Kantor: And then, once I have that way to meet them and they’re into kind of my database or they’re into my circle, I have to have a way to keep following up with them over time. And there are so many automated solutions to that. And then once you have that going and they become a client, you have to figure out a way to get referrals and/or testimonials from them as well.

Lee Kantor: So, if you have a prospecting strategy that gives you that clear understanding of your ideal client, you identify where they hang out, you have a way to communicate with them in order to build a relationship, and then you have a way to move them into sharing their success with other people and/or helping you get referrals, then I think you have the fundamentals of a good prospecting strategy.

BRX Pro Tip: 3 Effective Time Management Tips

March 14, 2025 by angishields

BRX Pro Tips

BRX Pro Tip: 3 Effective Time Management Tips

00:00 /

BRX Pro Tip: 3 Effective Time Management Tips

Stone Payton: And we are back with Business RadioX Pro Tips. Stone Payton Lee Kantor here with you. Lee, give us some tips from what you’re learning about managing that all too precious resource – our time.

Lee Kantor: Yeah, I think a lot of times people are just taking time for granted, and time just slips by and it moves so fast. And as we get busier and busier, and our time gets kind of squeezed more and more, it’s important to kind of understand where you’re at, what you’re doing, what you’re trying to accomplish.

I think the first thing to do is just assess your situation. So, kind of have some sort of time tracking system or use your calendar. Make sure if you’re going to use your calendar as a way to assess your situation, then put everything in there. Put your workouts, put your eating, put your meetings, put your work. Whatever you’re doing, kind of document it so you can really assess what your situation really is, not what you think it is because a lot of times, you think you’re doing some things, but if you look back, you’re really actually not doing those things. So, put everything down in a calendar because the calendar is not going to lie. The calendar is showing you the day, and you’re just putting in everything you’re doing during that day. It’s like a food journal. If you write down everything you’re eating, you’re going to know what you’re eating.

Number two is once you kind of have that assessment, see if it’s possible to kind of try and implement some of these techniques to get work done faster. I like using the Pomodoro technique, which is I kind of timebox an area, and then I’ll put a timer, and then I will work for, in this case, in my case, 25 minutes straight through, no interruptions, just focus work. And I find that that that improves my productivity, and it gets more things done faster than if I say, “Oh, I’m going to do that,” and then just kind of, throughout the day, try to do it. And then I realize, I didn’t do it because I never really marked the time, and I didn’t identify the area, and I didn’t kind of just got the work done. So, it’s important to identify the areas that will move the needle in your business, block out the time, and then get it done.

And then, periodically review and prioritize the tasks that need to get done because a lot of times, you need to get something done and then you don’t need to get it done anymore because it’s done. So, then, make an adjustment and put something else there to get done. So, those are some easy ways to get started with time management.

Camille L. Miller With The Natural Life Business Partnership/Soul Professional Business School

March 14, 2025 by angishields

Association Leadership Radio

Camille L. Miller With The Natural Life Business Partnership/Soul Professional Business School

00:00 /

Camille L. Miller is a 3x bestselling author on soul-driven entrepreneurship, founder of the Soul Professional Movement, and a sought-after Business Designer & Strategist.

She is dedicated to helping soul-led entrepreneurs worldwide design businesses that align with their values and purpose.

Her mission is simple: to inspire and support others in bringing their gifts to the world.

Connect with Camille on LinkedIn and Facebook.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode

The rise of professionals leaving corporate careers to follow their passion
What it really takes to build a soul-led business that aligns with your expertise and purpose
How Camille’s business school is supporting entrepreneurs in this journey
Why Camille believes mid-life is the perfect time to become an entrepreneur
What inspired Camille to create the Soul Professional Business School

This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix.

TRANSCRIPT

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for Association Leadership Radio. Now here’s your host.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here another episode of Association Leadership Radio, and this is going to be a good one. Today on the show, we have Camille L Miller, and she is the Strategic Soul Aligned Business Design for Midlife Visionaries. And her organization is the Natural Life Business Partnership and Soul Professional Business School. Welcome.

Camille L Miller: Thank you. Lee. How are you today?

Lee Kantor: I am doing well. I am so excited to learn what you’re up to. Tell us about your business. How are you serving folks?

Camille L Miller: Um, so I am a strategic business designer, but I work very Strategically with solid visionaries. So they’re usually very logically brained and they’re in corporate structures. So doctors, scientists, lawyers, CPAs, engineers, lots of teachers right now. And they’re in a job. They did the thing, they made the title. And it just doesn’t make their hearts sing anymore. So in this next chapter of life, they’re like, okay, I want to do work that has more purpose and impact and gives me the lifestyle as I want. And I am usually hired as their thought partner in figuring out what that looks like, taking an assessment of what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses, what do they want to do? Who do they want to serve, and help them design a life that they can take into retirement? And I call it wisdom to wealth. So and they usually do that into retirement.

Lee Kantor: And to be clear, when you’re saying soul, it’s not s o l e it’s s.o.u.l.

Camille L Miller: It’s s.o.u.l. Yeah. We say like your soul’s purpose, your destiny, what you want to do. So it’s this blending of very logical and spiritual, but more purpose driven, I would say.

Lee Kantor: So what was your path to this point? Why did you why did it become important to you to build a community around this thinking?

Camille L Miller: Yeah. So my background is actually in not for profit management. And the job I had before I created this company, I was a CEO for the State of New Jersey, for the Northeast Organic Farming Association, and it was in that role that I met incredibly spiritual people that were in these very corporate jobs. But I felt like they left a piece of themselves when when I was meeting with them. Right. They were eating organically. They were doing all this, these healthy things. They were living a spiritual life. And then they kind of left that at the doorstep of their corporate job and then went and did the thing and then had a different life. So they were like living two different lives. They weren’t in alignment. And I saw that a lot, like a lot, a lot. And that job was defunded in 2015, and I was kind of deciding, well, what is next for me. And I knew money wasn’t really my motivator anymore. It was impact. And I was like, how can I help other people bring their gifts to the world in a way that feels in alignment, that they can still make money, they feel very happy and satisfied. And that’s how I ended up creating. The original umbrella company now is called the Natural Life Business Partnership, and it was, um, a global mission to bring everyone together and just have conversations across borders about, um, spiritual and financial potential when we’re just being authentic in life.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re having these conversations with these folks that are maybe struggling with, Um, you know, their day job and their their dream job. Um, how do you kind of provide, like, what kind of services are you providing to help them maybe ease out of one and into the other?

Camille L Miller: Yeah. So the biggest program that I have, I run what’s called the sole professional business school, which we launched, not this, this past summer. Um, and it was it’s really to teach, like, MBA style business fundamentals through a soulful lens. So if you’re designing a business, one of the one of my signature programs in that school is called the Business Accelerator and Mentorship Program. So I’m literally doing an assessment with you and then building the business out with your mission statement, your vision statement, your unique value proposition, your messaging, your branding, your client, mapping your funnels like literally building the entire business and teaching you how a business actually runs, how we do cash flow statements and PNL statements. So it’s an MBA style education, and I should say I have been an adjunct professor in university teaching MBA students. Um, and that’s why I was able to do this, to take that education and weave it into actual business strategy, like really work with people that want to do this.

Lee Kantor: So what’s an example of somebody who, you know, was an accountant and now they’re an artist? Like, do you have stories you can share? You know. Oh don’t.

Camille L Miller: Name.

Lee Kantor: Yeah, yeah. Don’t name the person. But maybe explain where they were at and where they got to.

Camille L Miller: Right, absolutely. Um, and some people stay in their field. They just do it differently. Like, I worked with a psychologist, an MD, and they really believed that their clients or patients, then the patients Were better off if they also used sound healing. So we had to incorporate sound healing. Now insurance doesn’t cover that. So that’s a big jump. And sometimes they have to leave medical licenses behind and become coaches or advisors or called something else. Um, but they um incorporated not only the talk therapy but sound healing into their practice. Right. And now they can be a coach or a guide. I had another therapist who has become a writing coach. Um, they had at least 25 New York best sellers. They wrote under a pen name, and they decided that this is what they wanted to do going forward and not be the therapist, but be a writing coach. So that’s, you know, another one that did that. I’ve worked with an attorney that was doing, um, uh, real estate contracts, but really wanted to be an environmental science, right? So they had to reorganize their life, kind of close down one of their practices with another partner, open up their own practice, and now is in a world of, um, wetlands and organic agriculture and hop farms and doing the work that they love.

Camille L Miller: So it’s it’s not always leaving what you’re doing, it’s how you incorporating it into your next step. We have financial planners that leave big organizations and then start maybe giving help in sustainable companies, or only working with women or something like that. So it’s really narrowing their focus sometimes. It’s not always completely stepping out, but we have both and it’s really how the other person wants to design what that looks like. Usually they’ve always had an inkling of what is possible or I shouldn’t say what’s possible. I should say an inkling of what they might want to do, but not understand how that could be possible. And the biggest time when they come to me is how do I replace my salary? Because that’s what I really need, right? So sometimes we’re also working on exit plans, which we do a lot of times with teachers that come to work with me in the fall because they’re planning on June to exit. Right. So we have to work on an exit plan and building up the new career to let the old one go.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody who’s listening is maybe in that point of transition, or is considering that point of transition, what are some ways that they can test? Is it possible even to kind of, um, dabble in this a little as maybe a side hustle to see if there is any traction? Because like when you made the leap from, you know, working at the association to I’m going to do my own thing here. Um, at some point somebody has to buy something. Um, so how do you kind of test the waters to see if if what I dream of or what I think I dream of is actually something the market will purchase?

Camille L Miller: Yeah. So for most people, not myself, because I just took the damn leap all my own. Uh, but for most people, when they have a full time job and they need that salary, we do it as a side hustle. Like, we build up one as we let down the other. And most jobs will let you go like three quarter time, half time if you’re in a senior position. And those are usually the people that I work with. Um, you know, and we do it slowly and we test the waters and we test packages. But I’ve also designed thousands of businesses over the last ten years. So I usually have an inkling of this has worked before. This is, you know, usually how we set them up. Um, although it’s, um, very individualized for each person. Um, so that’s usually how we do it. We usually have like an exit plan as we build one up and people can go out there and try it. You know, sometimes it’s nights and it’s weekends as they’re testing the waters and seeing what works as we test packages and pricing and we test it all. So, um, yeah, it’s.

Lee Kantor: Is there, um, kind of a common fear that people have when they’re looking for this soul based, um, oh, gosh experience. And they’re, you know, they, they haven’t kind of, um, done this before. And it seems like a leap that might be too far. Is there some mistakes you see them making? Um, kind of consistently, or is there a common thread that you see like that that they’re struggling with?

Camille L Miller: Yeah. The biggest one is the fear. Fear that, uh, people don’t make money doing this. It’s kind of a limiting belief. Not kind of. It is. It’s a limiting belief. Like people don’t do it this way or no one will pay me for doing this because their specialty. They’ve always been paid doing something else. Right. So usually it’s a common belief and we have to work to get them over that. Right. So it’s really an inner game as much as it is an outer game. Right. So the inner game has to believe that you are worthy and deserving of whatever you’re creating, right? But we’re creating real businesses. We’re not, um, we’re not creating things that are kind of like airy fairy. We’re creating actual coaching or consulting or advising businesses. Um, and we do determine a market ahead of time.

Lee Kantor: So you’re not just so you’re not.

Camille L Miller: Just throwing spaghetti at a wall.

Lee Kantor: Right? So your client isn’t somebody who’s like, I want to be, you know, the next Banksy or the next Dave Chappelle. Like, they’re not trying to be, you know, kind of an artist in that sense. They’re more looking for a more fulfilling job in kind of a similar place they were, or in an area they’re interested in.

Camille L Miller: Um, sometimes they switch completely, sometimes they go, uh, it’s just like a dovetailing of who they are and who they want to be. Right. If you’re if you’re I see it a lot in like, an attorneys and CPAs. Um, if you’ve always done like the numbers or law and that’s what you know, and you still love a piece of it, we can bring it over to the next business. You may still be doing law, but doing it in a different way or doing it as your own firm. Right? So sometimes it’s just creating your own business in a way that feels in alignment with you, like taking the clients that you want or going into an area of expertise that you prefer. Right. So it’s different for absolutely everyone. And sometimes people come to me after they’ve tried something for a year or two, and they just really haven’t had traction. It’s because they are lacking the business fundamentals or a real strategy on how do we actually do that? How do I find my clients? Where are they? Right? What is my messaging? What is my branding? Because most people didn’t go to business school, right? They don’t they don’t really know how to run a business. Right. They’re throwing, um, money into programs and things that they probably don’t need, right? Like lots of social media. And they may have lots of followers, but no one’s actually coming in and being a client. Right. That’s a big problem. Right? So those are the things that we have to talk about and understand, because it’s really it’s right. It’s running a business in a very different way. And if you’ve been getting a paycheck your entire life, there’s a lot to being an entrepreneur. And it’s scary. It’s scary and it’s lonely, right? Because you have to have a support system that’s saying, okay, sometimes you have bad months, sometimes you have great months. The idea is to get it steady, right, and to create all those things along the way that keep you afloat.

Lee Kantor: Is there a trigger or a kind of a point that people reach where they’re like, oh, I better contact Camille. Like, is there something that happens where they’re like, like a near-death experience or like, oh, is this my legacy? I’m just going to be an accountant. And like, that’s not what I’d like on my tombstone. Like, are there certain things that are triggers that people say, hey, you know, life’s got to be more than this 9 to 5 that I’m at.

Camille L Miller: Yeah, it’s mostly in midlife, like they’re contemplating or they’re showing up for work every day and they just hate it, right? Or they’re missing a piece of their life. We did realize that during the pandemic, a lot of people went through this and they’re just like, I don’t want to go back. I didn’t realize how much I was commuting or how much I was missing my family or my friends or all of this other things. And I think that has grown over time. We’re seeing mass exiting now. We’re also seeing a lot of younger people. So my target market used to be like 48 to 62 people that have made the money and they’re like, yep, I’m ready for something new in my life. And they have that security, that financial security. Now I’m seeing people in my 30s coming into my programs. They’re just like, I’m not doing this anymore. Um, so it’s usually that curiosity, that awakening to there’s got to be more to life than this, or I really want some more time to myself or with my family, or I want to start to travel or live somewhere else in the world. We have a lot of digital nomads coming out now. Um, a simpler life. Um, so it’s usually that type of thinking that starts it all, and at some point they get introduced to me or my services, or it could be someone else’s. Maybe they’ve tried programs. Um, you know, and and that’s I find that they usually get introduced to me and they hang out in our community and they meet people that are doing it because we have a very free community, part of our soul professional movement, uh, that we represent. It’s like 28 or 29 countries right now of people doing this. And we’re all micro entrepreneurs, so they’re usually solo entrepreneurs, or they have very small teams and they’re doing really great things in the world making big impact. And they’re like, hey, I think I want to I want to try this. What’s possible over here? And that’s usually how they start.

Lee Kantor: So then so walk me through like what. So I go to your website so professional.com. And then what’s what should I do next.

Camille L Miller: So I always recommend that people start over in our free area. They can come to free masterclasses that I do every single month. Uh they’re also on YouTube. So if you can’t be there live, you can go see all of my work. And it shows how I talk, what I think about what my core values are. Um, so you can see what this community is all about. We also have free networking every single month. We have a free Facebook group. So you can start to have conversations and talk to people that are doing it, um, and see what’s possible. Um, there’s an online learning academy where you can take, um, courses. I have a really great one that, um, was just put out a few months ago. It’s called Corporate to Calling. It’s a 28 days. It’s called the Corporate to calling 50 manifest the life and business of your dreams. In 15 minutes a day, it goes over 28 days. And every day you have, like, a 5 or 10 minute video and an exercise that’s really thought provoking. So like journaling, right? And it goes through your assessments of your strengths, your weaknesses, your purpose. What do you think that you might want to do? Who would you want to serve? And all of these questions that at the end of 28 days, you have a pretty good idea if this feels in alignment for you. And then, of course, from there we can start to build a business. But it’s a very inexpensive way to really go through the process. Um, if someone was working with me personally, I always start with, if you were to win the lottery today, what would you do tomorrow? And it’s in that answer that they’re telling me their life dreams. And that’s where we start. It’s like, let’s build a business that allows you to do that today.

Lee Kantor: So. So there’s a bunch of stuff that’s free that people can sample and experience, and then if they want more in depth or more personal care, they can pay for a different services and different there’s different levels of membership.

Camille L Miller: Absolutely. Yeah. So they can go into the school, they can see all the school programs. If that’s where they want to go. They can, you know, start very simply in an online class. And all of those online classes have access to me as well where I’m answering, they can go into free communities and just ask questions. Right. So my mission here is to really help other people bring these gifts to the world, because I feel that they’re needed. Uh, so we try to make it as easy as possible for people to explore what’s possible.

Lee Kantor: So are you finding that there’s a real hunger for this, that the people are just getting kind of frustrated about being on this hamster wheel, and that there has to be more.

Camille L Miller: Yeah, yeah, more and more. I mean, 100% of my work is word of mouth. And the the thing that I hear most is, oh, my God, I didn’t know you existed out there. Right. So they’re finding that belongingness, right? They’re finding that purpose. And when you’re surrounded by other people that are all doing this together, there’s a comfort to that, right? It’s like a big soul family and across borders, right? It’s really about being a more global citizen and serving people around the world with your gifts. So and there’s a big comfort in that.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wanted to learn more and have more substantive conversation, what’s the website one more time?

Camille L Miller: Uh, soul s o u l professional.com, and they can look up everything they need.

Lee Kantor: Well, Camille, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work, and we appreciate you.

Camille L Miller: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Lee Kantor: All right, this Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on Association leadership Radio.

Tom Applegarth with Preferred CFO

March 13, 2025 by angishields

Houston Business Radio

Tom Applegarth with Preferred CFO

00:00 /

Tom Applegarth with Preferred CFO is transforming organizations through strategic HR process improvement.

He’s an expert in talent management, recruiting, compensation & benefits, performance management, labor relations, HRIS, and global mobility. Proven success in aligning culture and processes to optimize talent, driving leadership development, and fostering business partnerships at all levels.

In a conversation with Trisha, Tom discussed the vital role of HR partners for small businesses, the challenges of remote work, and the importance of benchmark data in understanding employee sentiments.

He emphasized the risks of employee terminations, the need for proper documentation in severance agreements, and the advantages of outsourcing critical business functions.

His insights focus on educating small to medium-sized business owners about affordable and effective HR solutions.

Connect with Tom on LinkedIn.

This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix.

TRANSCRIPT

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Houston, Texas. It’s time for Houston Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Trisha Stetzel: Hello, Houston. Trisha Stetzel here bringing you another episode of Houston Business Radio. So I want to introduce you to my new friend. We were having some fun before we started recording here. I’ve got Tom Applegarth on the line with me today from Preferred CFO. Tom, I’m really excited to have you on the show with me today.

Tom Applegarth: I’m glad to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: So let’s talk H.R.. But first, tell us more about Tom, and then let’s dive into Preferred CFO and the services that you’re providing to businesses.

Tom Applegarth: Absolutely. So I’ve been in HR my entire career. After graduating from business school, um, I went to work for BP Amoco and was with them in an HR role. And and then then I moved to Payless Shoesource. Uh, you know which at the time that I worked for them in the 90s, they sold one out of every five pairs of shoes in the United States. Wow. Today they sell zero. So it’s still a mind blowing for me. Um, but I was there for, uh, for eight years and a bunch of different HR roles. Um, I was, uh, worked for Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company, where I was the head of HR for one of their divisions. That was about a billion in sales. Um, and 8000 employees. Um, I worked for a company called Belden, um, that did about 2.5 billion in sales. And I was the head of HR for one of their divisions. That was also about a billion in sales. I was the head of comp and benefits for them. Um, I did a lot of recruiting. Um, and, uh, and, and then then I was the chief people officer for a company called Potter Electric. And a couple of years ago I joined preferred CFO. We do outsourced finance, accounting, HR and payroll for small companies. And then we also do a fair amount of recruiting for big companies. Um, and, and a few HR projects, certainly willing to do HR projects for big companies as well. Um, but but you know, we have a great team that’s just providing air support to, to companies.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. It’s fantastic. So very diverse background where you get to be on the other side of all of the things that you’re doing now, you’re providing the service to people like you.

Tom Applegarth: Yeah, absolutely.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah.

Tom Applegarth: Fantastic. And and we’re, you know, just a fractional HR leader for small companies where it doesn’t make sense for them to hire an HR professional full time because they’re too small. Well, we’ll we’ll put in an HR manager, you know, who’s only working part time. And it just saves them a lot of money.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah, absolutely. Let’s talk about the importance of that. So small small businesses don’t necessarily need what I would consider an HR partner or service, right? Where because they’re small, maybe they don’t even have any employees, or they have 1 or 2 employees. Now they’ve grown. Why is it important to allow a service like yours to be a partner in their business?

Tom Applegarth: Yeah. So I think I think once a once a small business hires their first employee, they’ve now taken a step into the government is now a partner with them because there are all kinds of laws around how you treat your employees. And and you can you know, it’s kind of like speeding. A lot of times you don’t get caught, but when you get caught, you’re going to wish you hadn’t got caught. Um, we have we have a client that, uh, that that, uh, became a client of ours, um, you know, in the last 6 or 8 months. And they had a they had somebody doing payroll and HR that, you know, didn’t really know what they were doing. They had they were doing lots of other stuff. So, you know, not necessarily expected to know what they were doing. And we got in there and we found all kinds of laws, including they have, uh, they have about 100 employees spread out amongst 10 or 15 states. Well, and they’re using paychecks to do their payroll. Well, paychecks is a great software and and works really well, but you still need to know what you’re doing, and you got to jump through a few hoops with paychecks to have them actually pay payroll taxes in certain states.

Tom Applegarth: And this company hadn’t done that. And so we we joined them and said, oh, well, first thing we need to do is clean this up because you haven’t paid payroll, you haven’t paid taxes in, like, you know, 5 or 6 states for a year and, you know, cost them a lot more money to clean that up. There’s a few other things that were cleaning up that hopefully, hopefully nobody from the government is listening. And they don’t they don’t, you know, come after us anytime real soon. But but some of those things can I mean, even for a small business like that, a few of those things can add up to 50, 60, $70,000. Um, you know, and so I think it’s important to have somebody that knows what they’re doing. And then the other thing that we really help with is coaching and counseling of the management team. You know, employees don’t often go sit down with their boss and say, hey, boss, you’re really screwing up. And here, let me tell you how. But that’s really one of the roles that the HR manager needs to play is understanding what’s going on, getting feedback from employees, and then coaching management on how they can be better.

Trisha Stetzel: Wow, what a concept, Tom.

Tom Applegarth: There you go.

Trisha Stetzel: A feedback loop, right?

Tom Applegarth: Exactly. Absolutely.

Trisha Stetzel: The employees are doing so before we started recording. I’d like to shift just a little bit to the conversation that we were having about bringing everybody back to the office. So what are your thoughts around that, especially from an HR perspective. And payroll. It does. It makes a difference, I think.

Tom Applegarth: Yeah, it does. And so I speak with a lot of CEOs that are both clients and prospective clients. And then, you know, a few of my friends that that are CEOs today. And I have yet to meet the CEO that actually has an office. I have a few, a few clients that you know are totally virtual and don’t have an office. Um, and, you know, I’ve never had an office. Uh, um, but but the ones that actually have an office, I think it’s they all all of these CEOs want to bring people back in the office more. And the question I always ask them is, you know, help me understand why. And a lot of it’s around, you know, I’m not sure we’re getting the creativity, the teamwork. You know, there’s something about being together that we’re missing and and I agree with them about that. But I worry about, okay, if you force people back in the office that don’t want to be there, you know how much creativity and teamwork and, you know, do you think you’re really going to get. And so, you know, I think that if you tell, you know, I think if a manager so, you know, in some of these small companies, the CEO is the manager and I give them a lot more weight in, in their decision of whether or not they ought to bring people back to the office. Um, I think back to the, uh, the CEO of Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company.

Tom Applegarth: I was the head of HR of $1 billion division, and I shook his hand like, maybe three times in two years. He had no idea what was going on in our business. We had 8000 employees, a billion in revenue, you know, great guy. And and you know, and Goodyear was like 15 billion in sales. So, you know, we only had 1/15 of his business. So I didn’t necessarily expect a ton of face time with him, but he had absolutely no idea what was going on in the business. And so in that scenario, when that CEO and and I have no idea what Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company is doing from a work at home perspective, because it’s been 20 years since I worked there. But, you know, a CEO that is not managing the team, mandating that everybody come back in the office, I question whether or not they really know whether or not that’s going to be the best thing. And in most of these organizations that are doing that, that are a little bigger, and the CEO isn’t managing all the employees directly, um, almost all of their managers disagree with the CEO and don’t think they should force their team to come in. Me personally, I think the manager probably has a better feel for what’s going to help them achieve their goals and objectives. Then the CEO, who may be, you know, three, four, five people removed from that work team.

Trisha Stetzel: Absolutely. And, you know, it’s that feedback loop again, where you’re talking about having this HR person really understand what’s happening with the people in the business and able to convey or relay that message to those who need to hear it. Right. Um, what? Tell me how this shifts the way your business is operating with these businesses that are going back to the office?

Tom Applegarth: Yeah. So, I mean, we’re we’re we’re coaching the, the the CEO and and and sometimes I’m, you know, we’re we’re more successful. Sometimes we’re less successful. Um, but then one of the things that’s an easy sell that I think is really good is all right. You know, you’ve you’ve decided you want to bring people back in the office. Well, before you just totally make that mandate. Let’s do a employee engagement survey, and we’ll have some questions there about coming back to the office. But then we’ll have lots of other questions as well. But I I’m a big believer in employee engagement surveys because they they really help people provide anonymous feedback, which is the only way you really get, you know, even semi honest feedback, right? I mean, if people have to put their name to feedback, rarely it happens. But but most frequently people are going to pull their punches a little bit. And so I think that kind of anonymous feedback is good. I think I think I think that companies should get help when doing an employee engagement survey, because benchmark data is important. Because and I’ll give you my favorite example, most companies, if you ask the ask employees, um, do you think your compensation is, uh, you know, high low or about. Right. Almost. You know, usually way more than half say. I think my I think my pay is too low.

Tom Applegarth: But when you can benchmark that against other companies because I had one client that, you know asked that question, you know, came back, they were like wow 45%. I mean 55% of our employees think they’re underpaid. Tom, what are we going to do? I’m like, you ought to feel pretty good because the benchmark is like 40%.

Tom Applegarth: You guys are overindexed. You know, you guys are are they’re in a good spot doing really well.

Tom Applegarth: So don’t worry about it. You know, and so you need you need some kind of stake in the ground to understand and interpret the answers that you’re getting from your employees. But but I think that’s a good first step is, you know, let’s see how strongly employees feel about coming back to the office. And, you know, and there’s a big difference between telling everybody, I want you to come back to the office one day a week, and I want you to come back to the office five days a week, you know? So. So, you know. Hey, Ken, is there some middle ground here? Let’s let’s talk about this. Let’s not just, you know, pull a Jamie Dimon and say, nope, everybody’s back in the office five days a week or you’re fired, or I guess an Elon Musk as well for our federal.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah, yeah. Then you have a bunch of employees stomping around and then you have a bigger HR problem, right? I mean, that’s the if you’re not careful.

Tom Applegarth: And and ultimately, to me, um, you really need to measure, you know, what are the 4 or 5 metrics that help us as a company understand whether or not we’re successful? Okay. And then if that’s what we’re measuring, what are the 4 or 5 metrics for each one of the CEO’s direct reports that help us understand whether or not their team is successful? And then you ought to be able to take that all the way down to every single employee in the company. And, you know, certainly there’s some some job functions that are easier to measure than others. But but the question I always ask myself is, if you cannot identify the 4 or 5 metrics for that job that tell you whether or not it’s being successful, are you certain that you need that job?

Tom Applegarth: And so and ultimately if you’re managing an organization I think you’re much better served to manage the 4 or 5 metrics for every person going down the organization. So, so if you’re a CEO and you have eight direct reports, each one of those direct reports ought to have the 4 or 5 metrics that help you tell if they’re successful, if they are exceeding the goals and exceeding your expectations, you ought to go play some golf, because all you’re going to do is screw this up. If you get in the middle of this, go play some golf, enjoy some work life balance. Go think about where your organization should be in five years. But don’t get into the day to day because you are green on all of your metrics now where you’re red. All right. Now dig in and figure out what’s going on. And if you’re only measuring the 4 or 5 metrics of the people that report to you as the CEO, what, how what percentage of their team is in the office probably isn’t going to be one of those 4 or 5 metrics that really tell you whether or not your organization is being successful?

Trisha Stetzel: That’s right. So, Tom, if someone’s interested in having a conversation with you about this, about HR, about all of the work that you’re doing out there for these companies, how can they find you?

Tom Applegarth: So you can go to preferred Cfo.com, or you can just Google Tom Applegarth and it’s Apple like the fruit. And Garth is in Garth Brooks. So very phonetic. And luckily my last name is unique enough that if you Google Tom Applegarth, Human Resources. I’m the only one who comes up.

Trisha Stetzel: The only one that comes up. Your face will be all over the screen. Tom.

Tom Applegarth: That’s it. That’s it.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, can we talk about the importance of outsourcing something so important to a business? So. And I believe unless you’re an expert at payroll or HR, you shouldn’t be doing it. So tell me. Tell me your thoughts on that.

Tom Applegarth: Yeah, I agree with that. I think that goes for every function. You know, I mean, every small business owner is an expert in some things. And if you’re an expert, well, there’s absolutely no need for you to bring on another expert. Right? You’re the expert. Yeah. Um, but if you don’t think you’re the expert in HR or payroll, you’re probably right. And you’re going to potentially there’s a lot of lot of people I’ve worked with over the years that have spent five, six figure sums Because they didn’t have an expert. And if you’re a small company, generally if you have less than 100 employees and maybe even less than 200 employees, going and hiring an HR and payroll expert is probably costing you more than it needs to. Um, because if you have, especially if you have less than 100 employees, you don’t really have a full time job for an HR expert. You’re either going to be overpaying, or you’re going to pay somebody who may say they’re an expert, but you’re not paying them enough for them to really be an expert. And, you know, I’ve there’s a lot of clients that that we bring on that had a, you know, somebody who, you know, wasn’t an expert but doing the job and they’re just not they’re just not equipped to do it. It’s not their fault. They’re an expert in something else. But you know, and definitely in HR everybody seems to think that that they know what they’re talking about. Um, usually, you know, 5 or 6 minute conversation. I can help them understand. They don’t really know what they’re talking about. But it’s one of those functions probably a little bit like marketing to, you know, everybody thinks they’re an expert in HR and marketing. And, you know, most of them are probably wrong.

Trisha Stetzel: I would agree. And there’s so much liability alongside of being your own HR person. Right. Or hiring somebody with from within. And that happens often. Somebody gets promoted. Now they’re the HR person right. And they don’t know. And they’re not looking at the laws like your company would and know all of the changes that are happening every it’s not even just every year. It’s every few months there’s something new out there. And that is exactly why someone would want to, um, engage with you. So let’s talk about not everybody understands this whole idea of fractional. So you do a lot of fractional work. Air. We talked about the CFO work and some of these other areas that you can do fractional work. So first explain what that means fractional. And then tell us the services that you offer in that fractional space.

Tom Applegarth: Yes. So fractional means getting you know somebody that has 20 plus years of experience in an area and is an expert and, and has lots of experience with, you know, big companies, small companies, all sizes of companies, and you’re basically hiring them on a part time basis because you can’t afford them on a full time basis, and you probably don’t even have 40 hours a week worth of work if you’re if you’re a small company. So. So that’s where preferred CFO for CFOs, controllers, CPAs, HR managers and payroll managers. That’s what that’s what we do is we have people that are working for us full time, but they’re working for 3 or 4 different small companies, and we’re it’s just like having your, you know, a full time employee in that we pick up the phone 24 over seven, just like a full time employee. You don’t always get us on the first ring, but we’re calling you back really quickly because we’re part of your team and and we’re we’re embedded. So it’s it’s really the best of all worlds that you’re you’re not paying as much. You’re getting the expertise, but you’re still getting somebody who’s going to return your phone call within, you know, a reasonable amount of time, usually hours. I mean, you know, you call just like just like when the CEO of of Potter Electric used to call me, it might take me an hour or two to get back to him if I was in a meeting or whatever. Um, it’s the same with the CEOs of small companies that are now giving me a call or giving somebody on my team a call. I mean, we’re returning that call as soon as we can.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. So bringing this expertise at something affordable for these small businesses, I think that’s so important for people to hear. You can have amazing experts on your team and not have to pay for them to be an employee on your team. Right. You can use them as a fractional service. And I think that’s so important. So as we start to get to the back end of our conversation, I’d love to hear your favorite story. It could be a client story, some part of you figuring out what you wanted to be when you grew up, I don’t know. So tell us a story, Tom.

Tom Applegarth: Well, my my favorite story. And and it’s I mean, it’s it’s the one I, I, I tell the most because I think one of the things that companies do that can cost them a ton of money is when you terminate somebody, every time you terminate somebody, there’s a potential risk. And so the story I always tell to help people appreciate this risk is when I was involved in it, we had a plant manager who was managing a plant of about 100 employees and a horrible plant manager. Um, but he had worked for the company for 30 years, been around forever, but, you know, retired. My my hypothesis is he retired, but just didn’t tell anybody. He kept coming to work, uh, occasionally. Um, and so, so, you know, so his boss was like, we need to fire this guy tomorrow. I’m like, well, you know, he’s been here for 30 years. We probably need to first, you know, if not from a moral perspective, from a legal perspective, we need to give him firm guidance on What are the 4 or 5 metrics he’s not hitting that he needs to hit, or we’re going to fire him and let’s do it in writing and let’s you and I do it together. So we have witnesses. So if this thing ever ends up in court, you know. So we gave that to him. And a couple months later his boss is like, all right, I need a firing today. He’s not hitting those 4 or 5 metrics because, well, he worked here for 30 years. He’s, uh, you know, it’s only been a couple of months.

Tom Applegarth: He’s got, you know, he’s turning a little bit of an organization. It’s not like it’s just him personally. Right? He’s trying to change. So let’s, let’s, let’s give him another written warning and tell him, here are the 4 or 5 metrics that your organization needs to improve. Or we’re going to going to have to fire you. So we did that a couple months later. All right. Let’s fire him right now. I’m like, okay, all right, I think we can fire him. But and I’m a firm believer in this and this this incident helped, uh, helped reaffirm it. I’m like, any time you fire somebody, especially if they’ve been with you for 30 years, we ought to give them severance if they sign an agreement not to sue us. Just think of it as insurance. This guy was like, no, you’ve made me waste four months. We’re not giving him a dime. I’m like, oh, dude. So I went to his boss. You know, the division president. And I’m like, hey, come on, 30 years. We need to do it. And a division president is like, no, we’re not. We’re not a dime. I’m like, it’s a mistake. And then the mistake I made is I didn’t go to the CEO. I should have. I said, oh, it’s a mistake, but I guess, you know, you’re a division president. I’ll let you make a mistake. Made a mistake? Of course. The guy go, gets a lawyer, sues us. That cost the company $1 million. And the CEO came to see me and said, Tom, what happened? And I’m like, I’m sorry.

Tom Applegarth: I should have. I should have come to you. I knew this was going to turn out bad. I made a mistake. I should have come to you. I didn’t, um, you know. And, hey, that’s what happens. You get a jury of 12, they only need nine. They do crazy stuff. And, uh. And there’s no doubt in my mind that we weren’t discriminating against him based on age, which was his allegation. But that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what’s true. What matters is what a defense attorney who’s I mean, a plaintiff’s attorney who’s working on contingency can convince nine of 12 jurors. That’s all that matters. And that’s why I think you need, you know, uh, the certainly a well written agreement. Severance agreement. And you don’t have to give people a lot of money. A week’s pay, two weeks pay. I mean, you don’t have to give people a lot of money, but give them a little bit of money, have them sign a properly documented severance agreement. There’s a lot of rules there, so make sure you know you don’t just write one out on a napkin. You need to know what you’re doing for it to be enforceable in court. But but literally in my 30 plus years, either me or somebody who’s worked for me has probably fired over a thousand people. And, um, and, you know, most of them have signed a severance agreement, and no one who has signed a severance agreement has ever, um, got an attorney to be willing to take their case.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. Wow. That is a very expensive lesson to learn. Tom.

Tom Applegarth: Expensive lesson.

Trisha Stetzel: Thank you for sharing that. So if people want to just remind us how they can find you, if they want to have a follow up conversation with you.

Tom Applegarth: Yes. Go to preferred CFO. Com or Google Tom Applegarth. Um, and the human resources and you’ll see my LinkedIn and everything else there.

Trisha Stetzel: Awesome. And I love that you made reference to Garth Brooks because I kind of like him. And it’s Houston rodeo time.

Tom Applegarth: I’m just saying I like him, too. In fact, my my wife with our first born child said maybe we should name him Garth. I said, come on, Garth, Apple. Garth. No, that’s I have to veto that one. That’s awful.

Trisha Stetzel: It’s not a good parenting decision. I’m just saying. Tom, thank you so much for being on with me today. The work that you’re doing is really important to small businesses, medium businesses, giant businesses. And I think the more we can educate our small business small to medium sized business owners, the more they can take advantage of these really great services that are actually affordable. Yeah.

Tom Applegarth: Thank you. It’s good to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s all the time we have for today’s show. Join us next time for another exciting episode of Houston Business Radio. Until then, stay tuned, stay inspired, and keep thriving in the Houston business community.

Andre Paradis with Project Equinox

March 13, 2025 by angishields

Houston Business Radio

Andre Paradis with Project Equinox

00:00 /

From a professional dancer to a global relationship coach, Andre Paradis has dedicated his life to helping others build healthy, lasting connections. His passion for teaching took him from Japan to Bangkok, and in 2006, his deep curiosity about relationship dynamics led to a powerful discovery.

Through Project Equinox, Andre shares his insights, equipping people with the tools for excellent communication and fulfilling relationships. Now in the ‘third phase’ of his journey, he is committed to making a lasting, positive impact worldwide.

In a conversation with Trisha, Andre, a relationship and NLP coach, discussed the importance of understanding and respecting traditional gender roles to improve communication and relationships.

He emphasized balance, trust, and vulnerability, using the metaphor of a dance to illustrate his points. He also offered two gifts for listeners and expressed his passion for helping modern, long-term relationships through coaching and podcasts.

Connect with Andre on LinkedIn.

This transcript is machine transcribed by Sonix.

TRANSCRIPT

Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Houston, Texas. It’s time for Houston Business Radio. Now, here’s your host.

Trisha Stetzel: Hello, Houston. Trisha Stetzel here bringing you another episode of Houston Business Radio. I have the most amazing opportunity to talk to Andre Paradis today, who is a relationship and NLP coach and President and CEO of Project Equinox. Andre, welcome to the show.

Andre Paradis: Well thank you. Good to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: I’m so excited to have you on. So first tell us who Andre is.

Andre Paradis: Uh, Andre is a, uh, an ex-professional dancer. Kind of traveled the world. Uh, Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul. I was really made it to the top. It was a fantastic journey. Um, ended up, uh, starting a family, which got me grounded. I didn’t want to travel the world and not be present. So stage two of my life was a auto repair shop in Los Angeles. I’m a car freak, so? So that was stage two of my life. This is when. And then. But that allowed me to stay grounded, be home with my family. Uh, the business was six minutes from my house, and the kids school was two blocks away. So my I set it up. So both my wife and I were at every recital, every parade, every, every. Because I didn’t have that as a kid. Right. So that was important for me to set it up that way. But I’ve been in personal development my whole life, and I took a workshop in 2006 called Understanding Women Completely Random. I was it was a gift I had. No, I wasn’t looking for any of this. And at the time, I’m married with two little kids. We’re doing great. But I realized in that workshop that I knew nothing about women, which scared the life out of me because my siblings are divorced and married like three and, you know, went on four. I have my family. We just have a baby and a toddler.

Andre Paradis: We’re doing great. But I realized I knew nothing about women in that special workshop, which then I realized that means I’m not thinking about my wife. And to me, that liability was insane. Like, it just it worried me. And I thought I didn’t want to be a statistic because I didn’t know. Now I’m a curious guy. I want to know everything. I’m just my brain. So after that workshop, I ended up taking all their workshop, the company that was providing. And you know, after you pay for all the workshop, I think it was 11 of them. After paying for the workshops and attending, you get to come back, come back and assist and be in the space. Right. And I was in a workshop every freaking weekend because it was the content. It was so much more every time it was more and even the same workshop, the teacher would teach us differently. The question would be different. The answer would be, oh wow. And I just the more I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know anything. So that’s how this whole thing started in 2006, 2009. I started Project Equinox and the business exploded because there’s a lot of confusion out there, so much so that I had to sell my other business. It was like completely took me over. So that’s how we get to be here.

Trisha Stetzel: Okay, now you got to dig into Project Equinox. What does that mean to you?

Andre Paradis: Well, the Equinox is the perfect balance between day and night, right? So I thought masculine and feminine, the dance. I thought it was clever. So, Equinox, a friend of mine came up with this, and he goes, dude, it’s perfect. Like, I like it. So.

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah. All right. And now you’re out spreading the word. You are talking to everyone about this topic. And what is the topic?

Andre Paradis: The dance of relationships I call it. If you look behind me like I’m going to show you this, this is my wife and I, ballroom dancing.

Trisha Stetzel: Oh. That’s beautiful.

Andre Paradis: So my life was started as a dancer. I was a ballroom dancer into a commercial jazz dancer, but my wife’s also a ballerina, so we met. Dancing and the metaphors for dancing in relationships are exquisite. So I used that that in my teachings to understand how to dance together. Because there’s no, you know, the, the typical ballroom, you know, frame is two entities that become one relationship and marriage is two becoming one under God if you’re that person. But there’s something magical about this, how do we, you know, and the difficulties I see is that men and women are completely different, as you know, not a little bit completely different. So often it’s difficult to become one when the other each is thinking the other one is misbehaving. Right? Women are like hard driven, feeling driven. Men are head driven, you know, logic driven. And often we collide because women will say men are insensitive, They’re cold and distant. They give you the one word answer. They don’t want to share their lives with us. Well, no, that’s being masculine. Stoic. That’s kind of the standard, right? This is what my brain, our brains go to. Now, there’s a way to pull us into you differently.

Andre Paradis: But if you leave us alone, we’re in our heads. Right. So women think we’re shallow, disconnected, selfish, self-centered. That’s not it. I mean, I’m up in my head. That’s how we survive as a species. But. And on the other side, men will say, I don’t know, I. She takes everything personally. It’s not what I said. It’s not what I meant. I never said that. I never, you know, you know. So. And we often think you’re a little crazy. So men think we’re crazy. Women think men are shallow, and that’s that’s the the polarity of us. But, you know, however, the polarity is essential for us to come together. It’s the complementary of that that works. Right. So we’re not equals. We’re equally important. But as human beings, we’re completely different. Just like our genitals. The complete opposite, but made to fit our personalities or yin yang is made to fit. So most people are struggling with this because there’s so much equality stuff out there that we’re trying to make the other person like us, and that’s what doesn’t work anyway. Ooh, you got me going.

Trisha Stetzel: I know, no, I love it. And and it’s a lot. We talked about this before we started recording. Everything that comes out of your mouth is based on science, right? This is not your opinion. It’s actually truth. So I’d like to back up just a little bit because I introduced you as a relationship and NLP coach. Not everyone may understand what NLP is, so can you define that?

Andre Paradis: Yeah. Nlp stands for Neuro Linguistic programing and I think it should be called neuro linguistic reprograming because that’s what I do with my clients is like and the psychology, this is psychology part of my work. Um, human beings are very interesting. And when I get to heaven, we’re gonna have a conversation about that design, because that’s kind of unfair, not cool. I’m just saying it’s not cool. It’s not cool. So what happened is, is if you when you’re born, your computer is blank, right? If you look at your brain as a computer hard drive, it’s blank. And within the first years of life, we have no thoughts. We only have feelings. That’s how babies and toddlers, you know, express themselves. As we get to start learning to speak at the age of three ish, by the age of five, this is fascinating to me. Like, this is this is the stuff. By the age of five, this is when our consciousness come online. Like when your thoughts and your feelings can meet.

Trisha Stetzel: Mhm. Okay.

Andre Paradis: Right. So most of us are five years old so it’s a little bit earlier. For some it’s you know six kind of realized the world that they live in. Right. And and if you weren’t love right. If your family system is off we think it’s us. We take it personally and then we again that’s the first belief on the hard drive. So if you believe that you’re not lovable, there’s something wrong with you as a woman, then it becomes your computer imprint, number one that’s that was driving the computer. Even if you add some apps and anything, books and the computer drivers, the belief is in place. And so then if you think you’re not loveable from that five year old, as a seven year old, as a nine year old, as an 11 year old into adulthood, you’re going to find yourself attracting people who will confirm that for you. That’s a terrible design, but that’s how it is. So mine as a kid was, I don’t belong here. I was an accident. My mother didn’t want me. I was born with that knowing. So I’m a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here. So I actually didn’t think I was going to be here for very long because everything was wrong. Right? But my my belief is it’s a conclusion.

Andre Paradis: It’s not the truth. It’s the conclusion. This is what kills us. It’s the conclusion by our circumstances when we put it all together, consciousness and feelings and come together. Belief system number one. So I ended up literally living a life of struggle? Because I’m not supposed to be here. And so every encounter, every job, every relationship was, why are you here? Like. But like discard it, discard it, discard it. Crazy stuff until I fix myself. Nlp does that. So NLP is a way to take the trauma of your childhood, right? And literally just throw it off your nervous system. It sounds it sounds like it’s so effective, if efficient effective. It’s so and it’s quick. It’s not three five years on the couch. It’s 45 minute sessions times half a dozen and poof, clear. So and the reason why it’s so, oh, I’m such a believer. Because I cannot get anybody in a healthy relationship until we clean up that baggage. Your childhood stuff that kind of led to a life of bad relationships in every way. So clean that up and then are you actually get to think for yourself to not be driven by this false belief? And then what do you what’s what’s the dream? Let’s go. Let’s go for the dream anyway. So there it is.

Trisha Stetzel: I love it. Okay, that’s a great start. So first question. Hardest one.

Andre Paradis: Yes.

Trisha Stetzel: What makes a love relationship last?

Andre Paradis: The dance. You have to learn the dance. And you know, back in the days we, you know, for for millennia, the men and women’s role were very obvious. You know, like, in order to survive as a species, men were there doing the outside. I call it dirty work outside. When the women did the inner right, the interior work more, as in taking care of the children and the food and the berry, you know, like so hunter gatherer. That was a survival mechanism. That was that was we didn’t make it. Otherwise a woman in the world alone was dead. Dead can’t survive by herself. So they needed men to protect them, but also to provide for them. Men would go hunting and come back and bring the food, plop it down and go. So, uh, you ladies take care of that, please. We’re going to sit by the fire and talk about how little Johnny almost lost his arm. It was great. It was funny as hell. And men sit around the fire and the woman, like I say, thank you for the hunting. We’ll take care of the food. And when the men recover, because men need to recover in order to do it again the next day. So that is nature at its best. So. So what’s happening in our culture is we decided that that’s old school.

Andre Paradis: It’s on. It’s, you know, not important or that we lost the depth of why that works so well. And so we talk about 5050 and go girl boss babe, that’s all fine. Right? And then we like shame men out of being masculine because they’re toxic and dangerous. Well know that the boys are dangerous. And that’s a whole different topic. There’s different types of men, right? The boys are the ones that are dangerous and toxic. Those are the rapists, the killer, the the con men. Right? Men are not like this. Men provide, protect, cherish, give support, lead. They put their arms around their family and protect it all instinctually. No manipulation needed. We lost track of that. So what’s happening that I see where people struggle is man is still the man’s role in culture is not changed one bit. In order for a man to be respected by women, other men and the culture, they have to get their lives together. They have to conquer something. They have to fight for something, build something that’s relevant, makes them feel relevant. That’s difficult. The more difficult, the more respect he gets, right? Self-respect and respect from the world. And we go, wow, look at him go. It’s amazing. That was a good way to go. So men are still expected to be traditional that way.

Andre Paradis: That’s very traditional roles. So men are expected to still be traditional provide protect cherish give support pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay. Now I have no problem with pay. That’s my. That’s part of my makeup. I will kill myself to make money, to keep, to keep my family in a comfortable state. That’s. That’s no problem with that at all, right? As my wife takes care of my my, my, the inside world more because we do both. But she does the inside world more. The yin yang of that is beautiful. She gets to be with my kids when they were little, right? She gets to be a mother. She gets to be oh my goodness, she she gets to work less because I do the brunt of the big work. So we lost track of all this. So again, men are still expected to be traditional. Traditional. Nowadays our role is not changed. But women have been taught to not be traditional and or to refuse to be traditional. So that’s a problem we don’t. We stop understanding the dance and the modern way is women masculine, men feminine, and that that’s the worst that’s ever happened to culture. Look what’s out there. So I could do this all day long. You got me going, all right.

Trisha Stetzel: No, I so I’d really like to understand how this plays out in the workplace. Right? And I’m not talking about building relationships and falling in love in the workplace, but because women have assumed these different roles or been taught to take on these different roles or avoid the other role. Yep. These are different in the workplace. Yeah. So let’s talk about that.

Andre Paradis: Hold on. It’s funny you say this because I just pulled something that I was working on. Oh, yay! Woo! Okay. Just in case there’s a backup. It’s so cool. So. Well, the thing is, again, the same issues, the same problems that we we face in relationship. Men and women in close relationships. The same thing happens at work. Okay. Women are more emotionally driven. It’s just a fact. There’s nothing wrong with that. Men are more logically driven. That’s just a fact, right? So, but when you consider oh, we’re going to go there, let’s go there.

Trisha Stetzel: Let’s go there.

Andre Paradis: So if you consider That, as simple as it is, men have two worlds and women have one world. And let me explain really quickly. So there’s two. I am two people. There’s me at work and me at home. Okay? Right. There’s me at work. The conqueror, the fighter, the warrior. The the busting every door down. Like I’m a I’m an animal, right? But not at home. So at home, it’s God. You get daddy energy, you get husband energy, you get pulled back energy. You get community energy, right? Same man. Two different energies. Right? You ladies have one world, okay? It’s. It’s all connected. It’s all together. It’s all of us. It’s it’s sweet. It’s want to be pleasing and pleasant, right? And so in that there’s a lot of talking because that’s how you ladies connect. And you do this to us at work, and we look at you like, why are you talking? Get to the point. So the same thing you do to your husband when he comes home and he’s tired. But you want to connect with him by talking. Often you’ll see him glaze over and you feel, oh, he doesn’t care, doesn’t love me because he doesn’t want me to know he’s tired. He’s tired. Right? So not understanding our very basic kind of instinct and drives as opposites will have us collide. So at work women in bringing all. So I’ll give you an example. Right. If I’m working with my buddy John, you know, and we’re at work, let’s say. Right. And I go, dude, so I need this on my desk by 4:00, please. Is it urgent? Got it.

Andre Paradis: Got it done. Right. Now, if Susie brings John the paper, she goes, hi. How are you doing? What? Good. What’s up? They’re like, oh my goodness. So how was your how your your your weekend. Because then you guys go out of town with little Johnny. Is he okay by the way? I know he was sick last week, right? He’s like. And and about. How about little Lillian? How how’s she doing? Oh, she’s. Oh, she’s such a darling. And he’s looking at her like, what the are you talking about? What are you doing? Why are you talking? Right. But this is a woman bringing the personal. The personal connection. Because this is how you connect. You have to connect first before you get to the point. You have to connect first. Your connection often will have you go in circles and not even get to a point, just because the point is the connection. But at work it kind of inappropriate, right? So men will get frustrated, men will get irritated, and then you go, he doesn’t like me. He doesn’t want to hear from me or he doesn’t. If she’s in a position of power. Right. She’s a manager. She’s going to think he doesn’t respect me. 000. Right. And now, often you get resistance. Can you get to the point? Why? What do you want now? Oh, he’s got the tone. So now he’s actually again being disrespectful and rude. Right. So we have to write him up. So that’s what’s difficult because the work that same dynamic we don’t understand that we’re operating different operating in different places.

Andre Paradis: And then women joining us in the workforce now want us to adapt to their way because it’s more comfortable. And often men will go really like so I’m going to say something terrible. Are you ready? This is terrible. Are you ready? Go for it. This is so, so uncool. But they’ll get triggered. Let me explain it. I think you’ll understand it right away as soon as I say it right. Men naturally, instinctively know how to work together again. Because we get to the point where we’re working side by side. We don’t speak. We like Hunter’s side by side. We get it done right. There’s a hierarchy to us. We need somebody to lead us, you know, and the guy underneath. And everybody knows their place. Just like a football team, right? Everybody’s got their position. You know exactly what to do. And there’s a coach that’s natural masculinity. So men know how to work together instinctively. It just works. Right? You put them. You put ten men in prison, jail 24 hours. But by the time you open the door 24 hours later, there’s a whole hierarchy that took place that actually lines up with the testosterone. That was freaking amazing. It’s nature. It’s beautiful. So when you put women in the workforce with men, now we have to be sensitive. We have to be, you know, we have to like, uh, what’s the word? We have to be sweet and kind and connected and. Right. There’s a lot of feelings all of a sudden, which we don’t know what to do with, and it’s irrelevant for productivity. So we ended up with HR.

Speaker4: Mhm. Mhm.

Andre Paradis: And I’m saying this this is the terrible thing I’m going to say if, if we remove women from the workforce or to work with men HR goes away.

Speaker4: Mm.

Andre Paradis: Interesting isn’t it.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Trisha Stetzel: So my next question for you is I do a lot of work with assessments. So disk drivers, PCU, EQ, you name it. Do you think as you were describing people, generally speaking, men and women, do you think there are different versions of these human beings that they’ve learned something differently or they’ve been raised a different way. So they’re driven by something different, or they have better EQ or higher, uh, positive intelligence. Does that play in this space as well?

Andre Paradis: For sure. And I should have said that upfront. Right. Like to have these conversations, you have to allow huge generalizations. Sure. Yeah. Absolutely not. There’s no such thing as all men and all women. There’s no such thing as ridiculous. However, there is a norm, right? Which is typically about 80 over 20. Everything in life has a 80 over 20 rule, right? There’s 80%. That’s normal. The other one a hybrid I call them like or different. All right. So in this world of men and women, even though women are more emotional and men are more logical, the big the big generalizations, there’s all the mix in between because there are women who actually understand man’s world, that he’s different at work, that he’s different at home and do not bring their they you know what I mean? They know how to do this. And the women who are really good at managing or management position kind of instinctively know this. I’m going to say it. Typically they have fathers and brothers.

Speaker4: Okay.

Andre Paradis: Because fathers and brothers will teach a woman about accountability and get to the point and what’s appropriate or not, right? If she was raised by a mother only and daughters and sisters, I have them as client that doesn’t show up on the radar. It’s not you know, they pulled that feminine card because that’s how they drive. So there is a huge amount of flex. But the rule the norm is 80% 80 over 20, right? And ultimately we know that we both have masculine and feminine within us. So it’s even the balance within ourselves and how we show up in the world, in relationships and at work. That kind of differentiates you, me, from this one or that one and that one. So I have to be as a man. I’m a leader. If I’m going to lead my, excuse me, my wife and my family in the dance, I have to lead.

Speaker4: Yeah, but.

Andre Paradis: But like the dance, if I have to lead them, my wife excuse me with sensitivities. Otherwise I could bully her. I could crank her. I could break her arm. You understand? So if I’m a bully. Only without sensitivities. Yin yang, masculine and feminine within me. In order for her to let me want to dance with me. What? Like for her to want to dance with me just to and be vulnerable to my leadership. She has to kind of be comfortable with me and trust that I’m not going to hurt her. So I have to lead for her to know, to be able to get on the horse with me and we get to dance. I have to be sensitive to her. I have to be aware of her. I have to respond to like I, I all this signaling within the fingers without words. There’s a huge amount of finesse in that. That’s my feminine on the other side, you know, she’s got she gets to release and let go to be in a feminine. But she’s controlling her body. She’s doing everything I’m doing backwards and in a dress and high heels. It’s not easier, it’s different. And a lot of it is her masculine. Having to hold her space and be able to write, to be able to take, take care of her part. But in that when she’s vulnerable, she trusts me because she knows I’m not going to hurt her, and I’m not going to spin into a wall or a table, right. Or another couple that she can just completely let go of control. Surrender control completely.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Andre Paradis: The light inside of her comes on. She gets to be present in the moment, completely feminine. And she shines with this beautiful, like, glorious feminine glow. It gives me goosebumps. And no one’s looking at me. They’re all looking at her like she gets the glory of just being in a pure feminine. Because she could be in the flow and let me lead and trust. And she’s happy and she has to control nothing. She has to think about nothing. She completely gets the flow, which is the ultimate feminine. That’s the beauty, that’s the relationship. That’s men and women.

Speaker4: The dance. I love that.

Trisha Stetzel: Um, okay. So if people are already interested in connecting with you, what’s the best way to find you?

Speaker4: Oh.

Andre Paradis: All right. So. And also, I have two gifts to your listeners. What if you want? I have two gifts.

Speaker4: Okay. It’s exciting.

Andre Paradis: I think so. I think so, but again, you and I talked about this. My, my my God mission is to spread this to the masses.

Speaker4: Mhm.

Andre Paradis: You know, everyone’s confused. It’s difficult. You know women are women are hurt and men are lonely and vice versa. Right. And they do a lot of podcasts. I’m just trying to spread the hope. There is hope. There’s a modern way to do classical relationships, or there’s a modern way to do this that works long term. So there’s hope. Let’s do it, huh? It’s out there. You don’t get that right. Yeah. So anyway, so I do a lot of podcasts for that reason, to kind of open the channels and get people kind of hopeful. And I noticed when I do podcasts, I do many a week. Um, there’s two types of listeners. So I have two gifts. That’s okay. Okay. And let me let the listeners qualify themselves. So if if people have show up the first time typically in. Information seekers, they’re just trying to poke around at this masculine feminine stuff people keep talking about. I don’t get it. I’m a girl, right? I’m a girl. What’s the problem? So information. If you’re an information seeker, I’m going to send you directly to my email. This is my personal email. You go to Andre Coaching number one at gmail Andre and Dory coaching. Coaching the number one at gmail. And the subject box write irresistible book. This is the ladies. I will send you a copy of my how.

Speaker4: I.

Andre Paradis: Sell This on my website. This is called are you ready? Get this. It’s called the five feminine qualities high value men find absolutely irresistible. Ladies, this is my work with men. I do a lot of men’s work. This is man speaking. It’s 30 pages. It’s a workbook. You get to fill it in with your thoughts and your understanding of things, right? You get it? Just email me. I’ll be coaching one irresistible ebook. Boom. I’ll send you a digital version of it. It’s good, it’s good. It’s a gift. So information seekers. There you go. The other type of listeners that I notice are people who kind of go, oh, I get it. Yep, yep. Like it resonates. Like, this guy’s got something right. So NLP super super intriguing for people a lot. So if you’re a action taker right. Takes a little courage, but it’s kind of temperamentally typically if you’re an action taker on coaching one in the subject box. Right. Talk now. I’ll send you my calendar link. You find a place that’s open, and you and I are going to have a conversation for an hour or so about, you know, people call, people call and set up appointments like, you know, because something is not working. They find themselves in a loop. That’s the loop I’m talking about from the beginning, right? That NLP like that loop of childhood that we can continue to prove as adults.

Andre Paradis: So in 15 minutes, we find out what the loop is. Uh, because it’s simple, right? And then when you understand that there’s nothing wrong with you because a lot of people come at me with, you know what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? There’s something wrong with me, right? Because I can’t always attract the same. And it’s never going anywhere. And I’m hurt and I’m feeling abandoned and alone. We find a loop. And now and then. When you understand there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just a product of your past and the false belief you create about that. We can clear it, you know. And then from there. What’s the dream? What’s the dream? Marriage and kids. If you’re younger, right? If you’re older, like, it’s long term relationships, companionship for the rest of your life. Yes. And then I’ll tell you, if you’re. There’s different ways to work with me to jump in. There’s many, many different ways. So. And then it’s up to you. But for some people, just that call changes their lives because they kind of understand it. And how broken are liberation. So those are my guests.

Trisha Stetzel: That is very liberating. Okay, I’m not done with you.

Speaker4: I still have some more questions. Oh.

Andre Paradis: Oh. Okay. Beautiful.

Trisha Stetzel: I have a a lot of conversations around women in the workplace. And how many of us, particularly in my generation, will just call it X genders, right? That that, um, that particular generation where women didn’t have women friends in the business place. Right. Because we were all vying for the same position and we were trying to be very masculine. Let’s talk about that. Like when I bring that up, I see you, right? You’re like, okay, I gotta get ready for this. Um, what are your what are your thoughts around that? Because there’s so many conversations that I have with women just like me having this same conversation.

Andre Paradis: Okay, so again, not sexy, just nature. Right? But sometimes nature is ugly because it’s about survival, right? But so as much as men are competitive with each other. Right. Instinct and history has taught us to work together. We work together. Everyone survives, right? Women competing for men, typically, or for the attention of men to protection. Protection of men compete with each other.

Speaker4: Mhm.

Andre Paradis: In the. You know, if you’re looking at my man, I want to kill you. I want to push you to the tiger myself. I’ll watch him eat you and smile. Right. Men can’t do that.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Andre Paradis: Just against the survival instinct. Right. So at work, when competition and getting ahead and survival is on the radar of ladies at work, which.

Speaker4: Is.

Andre Paradis: Masculine, that that mechanism kicks in 100 and all of a sudden, like, women will do what women do when they are competing or trying to get ahead is men use their fists. That’s how men resolve problems. Women use their mouths. So all of a sudden we have gossip, reputation, destruction, the smile on your her face, stabbing in the back when she turns around. Right. So this, this, this this is kind of how you fight. So at work with a bunch of women on the same floor often is that tension of she’s trying to get on top of me. She’s trying to get my job. Let me, let me just. Right. And then all this stuff kind of takes place, which is again, you know, something that the masculine at work doesn’t understand. Why is why is this an issue? You know what I mean? Why is it a problem? No. Okay. Air again. Really? Like, how do we get here? You see it?

Trisha Stetzel: Yeah I do, so what would be where? Where do we start? Andre? So, um, I’m a pretty smart person. And, you know, I realize that that type of environment wasn’t good for me, so I’ve removed myself from that environment. I have my own business. I run my own business. I do my own thing. I’m really happy with what I do, which is nurture others. And I have also started to build these groups of women that I can have conversations with, right, that I didn’t have in my past life. So I’m doing those things. But what are other things that you think we should be doing as a society to get back to being where we’re supposed to be?

Andre Paradis: Well, I mean, it’s supposed to be right according to the nature. And again, if you go against nature, you could go against nature all day long. Men and women, feminine men, masculine women, it’s against nature. But eventually it will bite you in the butt. Nature will win, and it’s going to cost you something that. Excuse me, you don’t want to pay for. I promise you, I could tell you stories, so I’m not going to go there. But again, if you go more in the flow of nature and understand each other. So I call it gender intelligence. Okay. Right. So as a man, if you want, you know, women will say stuff like, you know, I need so little, how come I can’t you can’t give me what I need. You know, I’m a dad. I get this, and men don’t understand what that means, because men quantify everything. This is our instinct, right? Big action, big rewards, big work, big money, right. Big Buffalo down. We get to eat big for a long time. You know what I mean? So men quantify it. This is instinct, you know. Naturally everything. So when you say I need so little like what the hell.

Andre Paradis: Like so I have to teach men that part, right? So it’s understanding each other’s instinct that is essential. Because if we talk about equality, which is, you know, equal rights, equal pay, of course. But what happened is now it’s become an equal being. Men and women are supposed to be the same. This is where everything falls apart because women are trying to make men like women. And men are like, why are everything like this, you know, and be more logical. And now we’re fighting again. So gender intelligence is if you’re a man, walk yourself over the bridge into women world and you learn, this is what I teach. Learn what motivates a woman, why they do what they do right. Her instinct. When you understand her instinct, you understand why she takes things personally. She’s not crazy. She’s a girl. It’s beautiful. But you have to understand, you know, as opposed to shaking your head. Oh, that’s what’s going on over there. This is what happened to me in that workshop, right? Like, oh, that’s what that is. Oh, that’s what that. That’s how this works. Wait. And you.

Speaker4: Just.

Andre Paradis: Do it. And all of a sudden, she’s lovely. She’s warm, she likes you. She’s feminine. She wants to be close. You get all the goodies. Understanding where she instinctively needs. And same thing with the ladies. If you cross the bridge into man world and understand what motivates the man, why are we stoic? Why we give you the one word answer? There’s a bunch of good reasons for this. There’s a lot of instinct and a lot of training for society and our parents in our life, you know, a lifestyle, her childhood. So get this. When women understand men more right, when you understand really our instinct. This is fantastic. 50% of everything you think personally falls.

Speaker4: Mm.

Andre Paradis: 50% of everything you take personally with men. I mean, your husband, your boyfriend, your boss, your brothers, all man On the ground because you go, oh, look, he’s just okay. He’s. And then when you know how to feed his instinct, right. Protect cherish give support, love, support love support protect protect, protect. Go. They’ll give you everything. The men will give you the world if you get, you know, provide what he needs instinctively to his nervous system, to his psyche, to his body. Like it’s just. It’s not that hard. It’s just we don’t know. So we have to learn about each other, and then we get to be we get to walk on the bridge from both sides, in the middle of the bridge where we actually have some understandings, some tools, some trainings and start dancing. And it takes practice because in the middle of the bridge, you know, it’s awkward because we’re so different. We step on each other’s toes, but then it gets a little smoother, and then we start communicating and using our tools. Right? Just like dancing. And so you get the flow of things and the more you practice, the easier it gets the stock in the communications. Right? That See how beautiful that is? So I always say modern relationships are like ballroom dancing. You cannot become a ballroom dancing couple unless you learn. You have to be taught this now. Back in the days, there was masculine and feminine. That was it. You made babies and you went to work. That’s not the way it is anymore. So how do we do this in a culture? You know, new culture is it’s tricky. But if you want this, it’s actually quite beautifully easy. Just say.

Speaker4: It is.

Trisha Stetzel: It is. And relationships take work. Right.

Speaker4: They just do.

Andre Paradis: Just understanding the other side is essential. You have to start there and start making each other wrong for not being the same as you, right? Like it’s not. That’s the exact opposite of what works.

Trisha Stetzel: This has been a fantastic conversation. I I’d love for you to share how long you’ve been with your wife.

Andre Paradis: 32 years.

Trisha Stetzel: 32 years.

Speaker4: So I’ve been my husband.

Trisha Stetzel: For 34, I.

Speaker4: Think.

Andre Paradis: 34. Okay. You win, you win.

Trisha Stetzel: No, know I’m not winning.

Speaker4: You are trying to win.

Andre Paradis: I’m a boy.

Speaker4: You win.

Andre Paradis: I’m a boy.

Speaker4: You win. Okay, I win there. Thank you.

Trisha Stetzel: I love it. There’s so much to learn about this topic. I would love to have you back on the show.

Speaker4: So that we.

Trisha Stetzel: Can, uh, dive into some of these areas deeper. I really wanted to focus on the workplace today, because I think that that’s a great place for us to start to have this conversation and then bring it into our own personal relationships with some of some of us are better at, uh, playing the dance or doing the dance right than others. And I think there’s so many people out there who want to learn how to do the dance. So thank you so much for being on, uh, folks, listeners, if you didn’t catch it, I’m going to put it in the show notes as well. But Andre is offering two things. One, if you’re just an information seeker, you’re going to send an email to Andre. It’s Andre coaching one at gmail.com. You’re going to put in the subject line irresistible book, and he’s going to send you that amazing book that he told us about, which is really amazing. If you’re an action taker, send the same to the same email address. Andre coaching one at gmail.com and put in the subject line talk now. Andre, thank you for being so kind to my guest today. It was a pleasure having you on.

Andre Paradis: Same to you I Trisha you did I do a lot of these and this is like the funnest this month. I want to say.

Speaker4: I told you you did. I win, you did.

Andre Paradis: And you win again. That’s true for you?

Speaker4: Yes.

Andre Paradis: You’ve had a trophy. I would give it to you.

Speaker4: Oh, good, I like trophies. Yes.

Trisha Stetzel: Thank you so much again. Andre. Andre parody. Thank you for being on my show today. That’s all the time we have for today’s show. Join us next time for another exciting episode of Houston Business Radio. Until then, stay tuned, stay inspired, and keep thriving in the Houston business community.