BRX Pro Tip: Do They Want Advice or Support?
Stone Payton: [00:00:00] Welcome back to Business RadioX Pro Tips. Lee Kantor and Stone Payton here with you. Lee, when someone is sharing challenges, frustrations, and maybe getting some input, it’s important isn’t it to find out as early as possible, get some clarity around whether they really want your advice or support.
Lee Kantor: [00:00:27] Yeah. I just think that certain people are wired a certain way. So, if somebody asked you a question or they have a challenge, a lot of times your first move is just solve the problem for them. But a lot of times they don’t want the problem solved. They just want to kind of vent about the problem. And they don’t really want an answer, necessarily. They just want to be heard.
Lee Kantor: [00:00:50] And if you ask them, “Hey, do you want advice or do you want support,” early in the conversation, you’re going to save yourself a lot of frustration and grief. And you’re going to kind of manage the expectations of the person you’re talking with. And then, that way, everybody is clear.
Lee Kantor: [00:01:04] So, that way, if you go in there and they just want to vent and you just say, “Yeah. I know. I understand that must be frustrating.” And you’re just listening and kind of affirming what’s happening, that’s all they want. But if you try to solve the problem, they might be frustrated that you’re not listening to them or they’re not being heard. So, you think you’re helping, but you might be making something worse. So, it’s important to get clarity around this, and that’s why communication is so kind of fragile in this way.
Lee Kantor: [00:01:33] A lot of times we jump to conclusions and we’re not really listening as actively and precisely. And we don’t really know what the person wants and we think we do. And we’re making assumptions, and a lot of the times we make the wrong assumptions and we each end up frustrated at the end of this.
Lee Kantor: [00:01:49] So, if you can get clarity around do they want advice or support, then you can react accordingly. Just because they want to vent and be heard, that’s fine. You don’t have to come up with an answer. And not everybody is coming to you because they want you to solve their problems. Sometimes they just want you to listen and you can help them just by asking more questions than solving something.
Lee Kantor: [00:02:14] You know, we’ve been doing this Coach the Coach show for a while now, and that’s something that I’m learning from them, the coaches, that sometimes you can help them more just by asking more questions and helping them get clearer around their frustration rather than coming up with a solution for them. Not everybody wants you to solve their problems. Sometimes they just want to be heard. So, listen and ask, and then you’ll see you might find this works at your house as well as it does in your business.
Stone Payton: [00:02:48] Well, I was just thinking while you were talking, this clearly has plenty of application in the professional environment with clients and colleagues. But I’m going to try to take this discipline home with me.
