BRX Pro Tip: Don’t Be a One Upper
Stone Payton: Welcome back to Business RadioX Pro Tips. Stone Payton and Lee Kantor here with you. Lee, here’s a good piece of advice. Don’t be a one upper.
Lee Kantor: Yeah. So many people are going out to networking meetings, interacting with people, and they can’t resist topping every story that happens. And in order to build real relationships, it starts by listening, not outshining. You don’t want to be the person that is the topper, that’s the one upper, that is taking every story, every comment, or every win and telling them their own version of them doing a bigger or better version of what just occurred. That’s annoying. It’s killing the trust you need to develop real relationships. This is kind of probably the classic example of self-sabotage.
Lee Kantor: So, you want to replace one upping with active listening. Focus fully on what the other person is sharing. Respond with curiosity or empathy, not with your own story. Sometimes, a simple, “That sounds hard,” or “Wow, tell me more” beats to any comeback or one upping that you can do. Number two, when someone shares success, genuinely just celebrate their success. You don’t have to use that as an opportunity to position your story as an even better version of that success. Building other people up builds your credibility and helps deepen rapport faster. People remember how you make them feel, not who won the conversational contest. Be the person who listens deeply, who respects other people’s experiences and builds real rapport. Next time you catch yourself trying to one up somebody, just hit pause. Instead, be the connection that people want to come back to and keep talking to.
