Intro: Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX Studios in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s time for High Velocity Radio.

Lee Kantor: Lee Kantor here. Another episode of High Velocity Radio in. This is gonna be a good one, but before we get started, it’s important to recognize our sponsor, Business RadioX. If you’re a business coach who’s tired of being a best kept secret, set up a call with Stone Payton at bookstonephone.com to unlock your perpetual prospect pipeline. Today on the show, we have the president of ACP Consultants, Dr Alan Graham. Welcome.

Dr Alan Graham: Well thank you. Hello.

Lee Kantor: Well, I am excited to learn about your practice. Tell us about ACP consultants.

Dr Alan Graham: So ACP consultants, in addition, I have a group clinical practice where we uh, do assessment and therapy first, uh, um, for a number of mental health disorders, particularly for ADHD. And then I have a coaching practice through ACP consultants where I work with high achievers who have ADHD.

Lee Kantor: So what’s your backstory? Um, what drew you to, uh, serving the ADHD community?

Dr Alan Graham: Well, it’s very interesting. I started, I actually started with the degree in economics and a minor in math, but then I decided to go into teaching and I was teaching fourth grade. And then about 25 years later, after getting my degree in psychology, my PhD in psychology, I met one of my students who had been in my class when I was teaching fourth grade 25 years earlier. He was a pediatrician and was getting on staff at the local hospital. And he I recognized his name and he said, oh, you’re Mr. Graham. And he said what he remembers was I would put a, a, um, an index card on his desk every morning with his schedule so he can stay on track. So I was working with people with ADHD before I even knew I was working with people with ADHD. And in the middle 90s, I discovered this thing called executive and leadership coaching. And I started to do that and get trained. And I found that there are many people who are very successful but struggle with ADHD. And so I have worked with them to help them maintain their success and be successful and feel good about it, rather than feeling like an imposter.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re working with an organization, are, are, is the organization determining, okay, this is a high potential, this is a high achiever, or is the individual raising their hand and saying, hey, I’m a higher a Cheever high potential. And I have a ADHD.

Dr Alan Graham: It could be either way. I have come into organizations when the organization has hired me, and then I have come in when an individual has approached me.

Lee Kantor: So now can you maybe define terms like, how are you defining high achiever?

Dr Alan Graham: So a high achiever is someone who has done well in terms of their education, their achievements in work areas or other areas, um, and have had some success with that. You know, some examples of that. You know, Michael Phelps, a, uh, what do you get 23 gold medals. He has ADHD. Uh, Simone Biles also with a ton of medals from, uh, the Olympics. She has ADHD. Um, David Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue has ADHD. He invented the etiquette and why? Because he kept losing his. So people with ADHD often are very creative and, um, and think outside the box. And so their ideas are really, um, useful. And when they put them to work and, and keep focused on that, they can achieve great things.

Lee Kantor: Now, um, do most people who have ADHD recognize that they might have ADHD or is this one of these things that they just go this? I mean, you don’t have any real context for most people. They, they, they don’t they think everybody thinks like they think. So is it something that is kind of undiagnosed a lot of times?

Dr Alan Graham: Well, it’s interesting because I would say 20, 25 years ago that was the case. Um, I’d tell people that I coach people who have ADHD and, uh, and I was a coach and they said, oh, what sport? So it, it didn’t really happen. And, but over the last 2025 years, the notion of what ADHD is has really gotten some traction in the public. And so now often people are seeing that they’re struggling with certain things and they’re saying, well, that could be me. And then a number of people are getting diagnosed as adults and realizing that they’ve been struggling all their life. And once they get the diagnosis, it’s almost like they have a feeling of relief. It’s like, so I’m not stupid, lazy, or crazy. It’s like there really was something going on that made this a challenge for me. That why I was kind of holding on for dear life all the time.

Lee Kantor: So what are some of the clues that you’re dealing with? Someone with ADHD or an individual listening right now might have ADHD? So.

Dr Alan Graham: So someone might be finding that they are spending an inordinate amount of energy keeping themselves on track, that they find themselves getting distracted to other things, taking, you know, spending extra hours at work because they’re not getting things done, because they keep getting distracted by other things. They’re not feeling that they’re being efficient in what they’re doing. Um, often there’s anxiety that goes along with it because they’re feeling like someone’s going to find them out that they’re, they’re an imposter, that they’ve been faking it all this time. And, and someone’s going to pick up on it. So there’s often that anxiety that goes along with it, uh, because they’re so anxious and they often feel that they have to be perfect, that they don’t cut themselves any slack. So all these things can contribute to, um, that notion that something’s not going well and maybe they should get it checked out.

Lee Kantor: But simultaneously, though, they’re still achieving things. So. Right. So they’re having an internal struggle, but they’re outwardly, um, being successful.

Dr Alan Graham: Yes. However, because people with ADHD, particularly high achievers, can hyper focus on things. So then maybe doing really well in work and their private life is falling apart. So they can’t manage, maintain relationships. Uh, um, uh, their, their house is a mess or their department is a mess because they, they, they can’t manage all of it. They can’t manage all the balls in the air.

Lee Kantor: Now, you mentioned that, um, when you were talking about being a coach, um, back in the day, people thought, oh, you’re a sports coach because that was what it was equated with. Um, and nowadays obviously it’s expanded from there. What is the, um, kind of the impetus for a person who is outwardly being successful to raise their hand and saying, hey, maybe I need a coach to solve this problem rather than like you said, you’re, you know, you have a doctorate in psychology. So like that therapy maybe is a, a way to deal with this. Like how do you decide whether this is a coaching client or a therapy client?

Dr Alan Graham: So usually the way I see it, if someone is experiencing a great deal of depression and anxiety around it, then they probably should look to therapy to help them out with that. But they could also then use a coach because what coaches do is, is help them identify what their challenges are, what their goals are, and helps them craft systems to find ways to manage those things. And so in coaching it, it’s a co-created process between the coach and the client. So we kind of identify where the where the issues are. And then we experiment with ways to approach it, and then we debrief to see how well, where, how it went and will work to tweak it or do something different in order to continue that success.

Lee Kantor: So you’re kind of working on tactics on how to manage it and to get them the outcome they desire. And you’re not kind of looking at the past of what maybe is causing some of the issues.

Dr Alan Graham: Well, yeah, we might identify the ADHD. I mean, um, if that’s already been identified, sometimes people come to coaching and they have not been diagnosed, but they are experiencing the same challenges. So the same process can work.

Lee Kantor: So now, so what’s it like to work with you? So I raised my hand, um, like Allen, uh, something’s amiss. You know, I’m killing it at work. My home life’s a little shaky. Can you help me here? Create kind of the same success I’m having at work in my house.

Dr Alan Graham: So the first questions that I would ask you is, What would success look like for you? What? What do you want to get to? And we start from there and take a look at that and then see, okay, so these are the things that that you want to get to. What’s the challenge that is holding you back from doing that? And we take a look at what your strengths are and how we can use those to manage some of these things that are more of a challenge. And then we craft our ideas and plans on how we’re going to approach that. Um, it’s a mix of looking at what your values are, what your strengths are and what your purpose is, you know, what you really want to accomplish.

Lee Kantor: But you are, you’re kind of looking at this as a, we’re trying to solve a problem together. And then we’re going to run some experiments to find the best path for you to get to where you want to go. And they kind of have to buy in on that same those principles.

Dr Alan Graham: Yeah. Well it’s not, it’s not just a problem, but also looking to where you want to get to. So we’re moving towards goals.

Lee Kantor: Now from an organizational standpoint. And if they come to you and saying, hey, we need some help. We are we have some of our team that needs some coaching. Um, how are they defining success? Because like, you would think that most organizations want as many high achievers as they possibly can get.

Dr Alan Graham: You bet. So often I get called in when there when there is someone who they see with great potential. And, um, and there are some things that are happening that are seem to be impeding their progress. And so I’ll get called in to take a look at it and to to see if I can help them manage what’s happening.

Lee Kantor: So they’ll call you and say, fix Bob.

Dr Alan Graham: Well, not necessarily fix Bob. That’s not good. But they say this is a guy who really want to be successful. And we feel that you’re the person that can help him to do that.

Lee Kantor: Now, when you’re coming in that, um, does the person kind of have to buy in? Like, don’t they have to have some belief that that’s that I am, I do, I’m not kind of, you know, maximizing my potential.

Dr Alan Graham: Well, they often feel that way. But I’ll tell you, the way I think about it is that in coaching, they’re getting an extra brain. They’re getting someone else to think through things, kind of a safe space where they can think about what they’re doing, where they’re going, what they want to get done. And they don’t have to worry about being judged on that, that there’s they have a partner that can help them move forward.

Lee Kantor: And then how quickly does change typically happen? Or is it kind of case by case?

Dr Alan Graham: It’s case by case. But usually within the first 2 to 3 months, a person is starting to feel some confidence that things are moving in that direction. Um, what’s interesting with people with ADHD, even high achievers, is that, you know, you create a plan and you start doing it and then it loses its novelty over 3 to 4 weeks and then you have to tweak it again. So, um, so it’s, it’s an ongoing issue.

Lee Kantor: So is that one of the, um, kind of challenges for folks with ADHD is that kind of shiny object? You know, they get distracted by things once they feel like maybe it’s under control a bit.

Dr Alan Graham: You bet. You bet. And and so what’s actually nice is the way I see the coaching is it helps coaching offers the guardrails for them so that they can work within an area, but they don’t end up getting, you know, going careening off the road or somewhere else where they, where they get lost from the direction they want to get to. And the coaching helps keep those guardrails up.

Lee Kantor: Now, is there any advice you could share for the listener that might be struggling right now? Is there low hanging fruit for folks who have ADHD that help them kind of deal with it in a efficient, effective manner?

Dr Alan Graham: So one of the things that I think is really important is to set your boundaries, really be clear on, on what you can and can’t do, um, and allow yourself time to pause. So People often want to be helpful. I’ve done some research on resilience, and it seems like people really want to help others, but they’re not, so it’s hard for them to ask for help themselves. So to kind of be, have some self-compassion and give themselves a little time to think something through before they respond. So when they’re asked to do something, rather than say, oh, sure, without thinking about what they need to do, they say, let me take a look at my calendar. Let me, let me take a look, and I’ll get back to you and tell you what I can do. Which gives them time to, to kind of sit back, think about it and see where it fits in. I think that would, if someone could do that, that that’s going to help them be more successful.

Lee Kantor: So when you’re kind of working with a person on that specific thing, is that something you’re like, you say like, okay, today or this week, try every time somebody asks you for something, take a beat or just, you know, make it your automatic response that says, I’ll have to think about it rather than just reacting to it. Is that like an exercise or an experiment you would do?

Dr Alan Graham: Yes. Or let me let me check my calendar or something of that sort that can give them a little space so they can really think about whether this is something a project they can take on or not.

Lee Kantor: And do you find the frame of looking at things as experiments, um, helps people kind of get on track and then stay kind of with the program a little longer than if they said, okay, from this point forward, I’m not going to do that anymore. Like it. The frame of experiment to me seems very forgiving and it makes sense. And it takes away some of the, you know, maybe future potential, like this is forever kind of thing. It just gives me a safer frame, I think.

Dr Alan Graham: Yeah, I agree. It creates a level of flexibility. Often when people are having challenges, they think that there’s an answer. And if they do that and do that forever, everything is going to be fine. And, and really, you know, our lives are dynamic. Things change, situation changes something. What worked, uh, last year may not work this year because the situation is different. And so by experimenting and having the concept of experiment, and we’re growing and we’re learning.

Lee Kantor: Right. And, and that’s a, I think it’s a more positive way of looking at it. It almost gives you kind of that beginner’s mind, uh, at pretty much everything because you’re like, oh, it’s just an experiment. Oh, that didn’t work out. Or I can look at this with fresh eyes. I don’t have to say this is how it’s always been done.

Dr Alan Graham: Right.

Lee Kantor: Now, is there a story you can share that maybe illustrates what it’s like to work with you? Don’t name the individual or the organization, but maybe share the challenge that came to you with and how you were able to help them get to a new level.

Dr Alan Graham: So I was asked to work with a chief financial officer, and this guy was really good at doing the numbers and understanding what needs to be done, etc. but he had he had a difficult time providing deliverables. And so what was happening is people in the organization were complaining is that he, he always gives us a first draft. He never gives us a final product. Or you never know if he’s if he’s going to be late or not. And, um, so I was asked to come in and work with him and really what he had been diagnosed with ADHD but never told anybody. And what we talked about was helping him see that although, you know, that you can do stuff, it’s not showing up in the organization. So what can you do To change the perception of the people in the organization. And once we made that shift, so he began to think about how other people were responding to him and how he could change their perception. Everything changed. And from where people were complaining about him, he ended up calling him employee of the month, um, because he had done so well in making that turnaround.

Lee Kantor: Now is lateness. Is that one of the symptoms of ADHD?

Dr Alan Graham: Yes. So one of the symptoms of ADHD, you often find people have time blindness. So for people with ADHD, there’s two times there’s now and there’s not now. So if it’s not in the moment, it doesn’t exist. So let’s say someone has a 2:00 appointment and they say, oh, I’ve got my appointment, but it’s, you know, it’s a 1:45. So I got plenty of time. And so why don’t we just take a look at this and they start looking at and whatever it is they’re looking at, and then they get caught up in that because that’s their reality. And then all of a sudden they look at the clock and it’s ten after two. Oh no, I’m late.

Lee Kantor: But then, I mean, the way lateness is perceived by others is not, oh, that person is ADHD. So cut them some slack. I mean, you know, the trains have to run on time too.

Dr Alan Graham: Exactly. So we have to create systems to help them to not be late.

Lee Kantor: So so what are some of the tools you use to help them not be late?

Dr Alan Graham: Well, sometimes we use reminders. We can do reminders on the phone. Um, the problem with that is sometimes if you have too many reminders, you ignore them all. Um, for some people, we have set the clock 15 minutes Earlier. Earlier? Was it earlier than what it actually is? So that again that gives them a buffer time. We talk about um the goal is to be ten minutes early rather than getting there on time. Um so we’ll do a lot of different things like that to help them come up with a system that works best for them.

Lee Kantor: Now what about if you’re the like you were a teacher. So like if, if class was supposed to start at nine, do you like lock the door at nine? And like, if you didn’t make it, you didn’t make it. Like how, how do you handle it from, you know, if you’re somebody of authority and you want people to show up on time.

Dr Alan Graham: So one of the things that a person with ADHD can do is, is because of the Americans with Disabilities Act, they’re, um, they can get reasonable accommodations at their workplace. The first thing they would have to do is, is, is raise their hand and say, I need accommodations. Um, but whether they do that or not, I think it’s important for them to have a conversation with their manager as to how they work best, and to let the manager know that I know I have a hard time getting to meetings on time, so if we can work together to find a way to make sure that doesn’t happen. Um, I have some ideas that we could do. Would you be willing to do that? And so it really becomes, if I help my clients to create, you know, create good working relationship with their manager to do that, now some managers are not going to do it and you have to work with that. But, you know, again, most people want to be helpful. And so if if you go to your manager and say, look, this is these are the struggles I have, and these are the things that I do to help compensate for that, I can we work together on that. Managers are usually willing to do that.

Lee Kantor: But as a manager, would you. I mean, if if the if whatever’s supposed to happen at a certain time is. And you’re. Do you accommodate one person? Go. Well, he’s plus or -ten minutes like, I mean, what does that say to the rest of the group?

Dr Alan Graham: No, but what you might say is you might the, the manager again knows that this is an issue. This it might tell the the guy, you know, the meeting starts 15 minutes beforehand so that he gets there on time, you know, so they can work together to make sure that he gets there on time. Because there are certain things that that, you know, the company has to do. And the, the, uh, my client or someone with ADHD has to find a way to accommodate for that.

Lee Kantor: Right. Like that. I mean, look, if you’re at a movie set and we’re supposed to begin filming and there’s 200 people standing around, I mean, that’s not cool for the, you know, to make everybody wait.

Dr Alan Graham: You know, the way the law states in the is that you have to make reasonable accommodations, and a reasonable accommodation here would not be, oh, you can come whenever you want. If there are 200 people waiting and discussing them, you know, $10,000 a minute.

Lee Kantor: And that’s I mean, this is what you bring to the table when you’re helping your clients, right? You’re giving them tools to help their people, um, kind of deal with this. And also the organization because it affects both sides of the coin here.

Dr Alan Graham: Exactly. So when I’m in a coaching engagement, I’ll often have meetings with, um, in fact, if the company is paying, I always have meetings with the manager so we can align together on what the goals are, uh, to help the, the client, my client be as successful as possible within the organization.

Lee Kantor: So what do you need more of? How can we help you? Do you want more organizational clients? You want more individual clients? What do you need more of?

Dr Alan Graham: I like both of them. So I could use either, You know, I like working with organizations. I really think about the world as a, these concentric systems, um, from our own individual system up to our public system. So, um, I like working with organizations. I like working with individuals so they can come to me either way.

Lee Kantor: Now, is there an industry or a niche that you kind of specialize in or is this kind of industry? I would imagine it’s industry agnostic, but I don’t know. As you as a practitioner, do you have kind of favorite areas or groups or types of organizations that you like working with?

Dr Alan Graham: Um, it really doesn’t matter. Um, the, you know, the product, the service may be different, but the processes are often the same. Um, so I’ve worked in fortune 100 companies and I’ve worked in, in small, uh, ten, 15 person organizations. Um, I’ve worked in manufacturing, financial services, healthcare, technology.

Lee Kantor: So if somebody wants to learn more, have a more substantive conversation with you or somebody on your team, what’s the website? What’s the best way to connect?

Dr Alan Graham: So my website is acpl eadership.com, or they can send me an email at Graham. That’s GRAHAM at ACP, which is all creepy people. acp the number 10.com, agraham@acp10.com.

Lee Kantor: Good stuff. Well, Alan, thank you so much for sharing your story today. You’re doing such important work and we appreciate you.

Dr Alan Graham: Sure.

Lee Kantor: All right. This is Lee Kantor. We’ll see you all next time on High Velocity Radio.