John Ray: [00:00:00] And hello again, I’m John Ray on The Price and Value Journey. Once I was at an event in which I ran into two people I thought would benefit from knowing each other. Each were in complementary businesses, and so they could possibly be strategic referral partners for each other. They were both great networkers, meaning they would look to help each other as they could. That’s what being a great networker is all about. Most important, I thought they would like each other personally and get to be friends.

John Ray: [00:00:34] As I was introducing them, I suddenly went blank on one of their names. Now, that’s an awkward moment. I’ve just told this person that I want to help them by introducing them to someone they ought to know. And my brain won’t let their name fall out onto my tongue. Fortunately, I was saved by this individual’s name tag, which seemed to call out and say to me, “Look. Look at me. Here, I’m going to help you.” I recovered and the introduction went smoothly. Even so, my brain and I weren’t on speaking terms the rest of the evening.

John Ray: [00:01:13] Now, I’ve mentioned in an earlier episode of this podcast that when you don’t know what else to do in building your business, just be helpful. And one of the ways to be helpful is to make connections, and that’s one aspect of my business I particularly relish. For me, it goes beyond the enjoyment, which comes from making a good connection.

John Ray: [00:01:35] It’s something more. It’s a calling for me. I believe that we are all better, particularly in the often lonely space of entrepreneurship and in a world that’s heavily divided into tribes when we have a greater number of genuinely human and supportive connections with each other.

John Ray: [00:01:56] Connecting people the wrong way, though, is bungling in the name like I almost did. Sending a blind three way e-mail, I think, is often the worst. We’ve all received them, right? You two should know each other and enjoy drive bys, which make you feel like your pocket has been picked clean or something. While someone may have been thinking about you and the other person in the connection, the connector here seems to be doing just enough to try to score brownie points with both parties, and that’s it.

John Ray: [00:02:32] It’s not that all unexpected three way emails are bad, I’ve sent plenty of them, and most have been well received by both parties. I’ve introduced both parties to each other with several sentences of detail on why each should meet the other. In those notes, I’ve explained why I thought they would be good long term connections, and both parties often respond with appreciation for the connection.

John Ray: [00:02:58] What I’ve missed by sending such an email, though, even if both parties value the note, is the deeper personal connection, which comes from talking to both personally. And that’s why now, before I make a three way email introduction, I always call both parties and speak with them first. I tell them about the other individual, their business, and why I think the introduction would be beneficial. I ask for permission to connect them. I’ll let each know that they’ll receive a note from me only after I’ve spoken to the other individual and received permission from them as well.

John Ray: [00:03:43] By placing a call like that, several benefits naturally occur. I’ve made a much more solid introduction because both individuals know I care enough in a world dominated by texting and social media to take the time to make a personal phone call. It gives me the chance to catch up with both individuals myself. I avoid the embarrassment of someone’s business or circumstances having changed such that this connection, which might previously have been a good one, really isn’t anymore.

John Ray: [00:04:20] Finally, I also get the chance to deepen my connection with both parties by hearing about what’s going on in their lives. And I’m able to ask what they need, and understand what I can do to be helpful to them. By making those calls, I’ve not only made a great three way introduction, but I’ve deepened my relationship with each of those individuals. And all three of us are the better.

John Ray: [00:04:53] I’m John Ray on The Price and Value Journey. If you’d like to connect with me directly, you can go to my website, johnray.co, you can email me at john@johnray.co. Thank you for joining me.