Being Fully Present: True Stories of Epiphanies and Powerful Lessons from Everyday Life North Fulton Business Radio, Episode 720)
In this episode of North Fulton Business Radio, host John Ray welcomed back Randy Hain, an executive coach, leadership consultant, prolific author, and the owner of Serviam Partners. John and Randy discussed Randy’s latest book, Being Fully Present: True Stories of Epiphanies and Powerful Lessons from Everyday Life.
It’s not a business book per se, Randy explained, but it provides invaluable insights for business leaders dealing with real-life issues and overcoming adversity. They also delved into Randy’s journey away from workaholic tendencies, and the importance of living an integrated life with set priorities. Randy related a moving anecdote from his book, touching on the recognition and honoring of human loss, and much more.
Serviam performs executive coaching and leadership consulting work for individual business leaders, teams, and companies. Serviam Partners blends deep experience, refreshing candor, and strong values into their consulting/coaching offerings.
They offer executive and career coaching, and leadership development.
Founder and President, Serviam Partners, and Author of Being Fully Present: True Stories of Epiphanies and Powerful Lessons from Everyday Life
Randy Hain is the founder and president of Serviam Partners and the co-founder of the Leadership Foundry. With a successful 30-year career in senior leadership roles, corporate talent, and executive search, he is a sought-after executive coach for senior leaders at some of the best-known companies in the U.S. who are seeking candid and expert guidance on how to identify and overcome obstacles to their success or develop new leadership skills.
He is also an expert at onboarding and cultural assimilation for senior leaders, as well as helping senior leadership teams improve trust, collaboration, and candid communication. Randy also offers consulting/coaching for companies, teams and individual business leaders looking to develop more authentic and effective business relationships both inside and outside their organizations. His deep expertise in business relationships is a true area of differentiation for him and Serviam Partners. He is an active community leader and serves on the boards of the causes he cares about most. Randy has earned a reputation as a creative business partner and generous thought leader through his books, articles and speaking engagements.
Randy is the award-winning author of nine books, including Essential Wisdom for Leaders of Every Generation, Something More: The Professional’s Pursuit of a Meaningful Life, LANDED! Proven Job Search Strategies for Today’s Professional and Special Children, and Blessed Fathers: Encouragement for Fathers of Children with Special Needs.
Randy’s latest book is Being Fully Present: True Stories of Epiphanies and Powerful Lessons from Everyday Life, what he called the “accidental” book.
Randy is passionate about promoting opportunities for adults with autism in the workplace. He is also a board member of Growing Leaders, an international non-profit focused on developing leadership and character in young people, and an advisory board member for the Brock School of Business at Samford University. Randy is a frequent presenter to the students of the business school at Samford University and is a 1989 graduate of the University of Georgia.
He has been married for over 25 years and has two sons.
Questions and Topics in this Interview:
- 01:14 Meet Randy Hain: Serviam Partners
- 01:29 Randy’s Personal and Professional Journey
- 01:58 The Power of Being Fully Present
- 03:17 The Unexpected Book: Mining for Gold in Life’s Moments
- 04:31 The Importance of Journaling and Reflection
- 05:23 The Power of Presence in Business and Life
- 08:17 The Impact of Personal Stories
- 14:27 The Struggle with Workaholism
- 14:29 The Power of Patience and Relationship
- 20:50 The Importance of Self-Care and Balance
- 22:17 Mining for Gold: Finding Value in Every Encounter
- 28:58 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
North Fulton Business Radio is hosted by John Ray and broadcast and produced from the North Fulton studio of Business RadioX® inside Renasant Bank in Alpharetta. You can find the full archive of shows by following this link. The show is available on all the major podcast apps, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Amazon, iHeart Radio, Stitcher, TuneIn, and others.
Renasant Bank has humble roots, starting in 1904 as a $100,000 bank in a Lee County, Mississippi, bakery. Since then, Renasant has become one of the Southeast’s strongest financial institutions, with over $13 billion in assets and more than 190 banking, lending, wealth management, and financial services offices in Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida. All of Renasant’s success stems from each of their banker’s commitment to investing in their communities as a way of better understanding the people they serve. At Renasant Bank, they understand you because they work and live alongside you every day.
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Live from the Business Radio X studio inside Renasant Bank. The bank that specializes in understanding you. It’s time for North Fulton Business Radio.
[00:00:21] John Ray: And hello again everyone. Welcome to another edition of North Fulton Business Radio. I’m John Ray and we are broadcasting as usual folks from inside Renasant Bank in beautiful Alpharetta. And if you are looking for a bank that’s big enough to handle pretty much any need you can throw at them, But they’re small enough to deliver their services in a personal way.
[00:00:42] John Ray: I think Renasant has that magic combination. At least that’s what I experienced from my own work with them and the clients I work with. So if that’s what you’re looking for, go to Renasantbank.com and find one of their local offices. And give them a call. I think you’ll be glad you did. And guess what?
[00:01:01] John Ray: When you call them, they actually answer their own phone. Imagine that antiquated piece of courtesy, Renasant bank, understanding you member FDIC. And now one welcome back. Randy Hain. Randy is with Serviam Partners. Randy, welcome back.
[00:01:18] Randy Hain: John, thanks for having me back.
[00:01:19] John Ray: Yeah. Great friend of our show. Let’s talk about you and for those that don’t know you, how you’re serving folks out there in your practice.
[00:01:28] Randy Hain: Thanks, John. First and foremost, I’m a husband and a father. I’ve got two adult sons, been married to Sandra for 29 years. And I am an executive coach and a leadership consultant, and I own a company called Serviam Partners. And I work with the Fortune 5,000 coaching senior leaders and their teams.
[00:01:46] Randy Hain: And I’m a co-founder of another business called The Leadership Foundry. And we work with large groups of leaders for global companies and write books and try to serve the community as as often as I can.
[00:01:57] John Ray: In a lot of different ways. And you, we’ve had you on a couple of times now, maybe this is the third time to talk about some of your books and we’re here to talk about your latest one, which is called “Being Fully Present True Stories of Epiphanies and Powerful Lessons From Everyday Life “Folks, I’ve had a chance to dip into this book and it’s really terrific and I suggest you get it, but we’re going to give you some reasons why, as we have this discussion.
[00:02:24] John Ray: This is really not a business book per se. Let’s talk about that.
[00:02:30] Randy Hain: It’s not. I am a businessperson in the book, dealing with real life situations. And I wrote the book through the prism of stories. All these stories and things that have happened to me over the last 20 to 30 years, often involving my faith and family, but definitely not a, if you’re looking for a book on leadership, but if you’re looking for a book for how leaders deal with real issues and situations and how do you overcome adversity, I think the book is perfectly suited for that.
[00:02:57] John Ray Well, it’s a, I will say, having been through the book, it’s a book that is A business book in the sense. It’s about a business person navigating the world and your faith in that world. Yes. Yeah. Because there is a specific business question I want to ask you here in just a little bit but why did you go in this direction? What led you this way?
[00:03:17] Randy Hain: It’s funny.
[00:03:18] Randy Hain: This book is actually an accidental book. I was working on a follow-up to my 2021 book, Essential Wisdom For Leaders Of Every Generation that comes out next spring. And over the summer, I was going through some of my old journals. I’m a, prolific journal guy.
[00:03:34] Randy Hain: I journal every day and I’ve got 24 journals that I’ve filled up over the last 20 years. And I often write down things that are going on in my life, things that have happened to me. I’m a very reflective person and as I get older I get more like that. And I found that I had dozens of stories of just life changing moments, epiphanies as it were.
[00:03:53] Randy Hain: Often involving my faith, my family dealing with my past workaholic tendencies. And I was going through the journals and I said, I think there’s more than enough for a book here. So what I did is I pulled out probably the, my favorite 15,16,17. And then this year I was really cognizant of writing down stories that were occurring to me in real time.
[00:04:16] Randy Hain: So the book is 23 stories of all kinds of situations and scenarios where I’m dealing with things, but I didn’t intend to write that book, which was actually, which made it more fun. Yeah,
[00:04:27] John Ray: That’s awesome. Really. And really what you’re speaking to is the power of journaling too, right?
[00:04:34] Randy Hain: Yeah. And don’t get me wrong.
[00:04:36] Randy Hain: I’m not sitting down every day saying, dear diary, here’s what’s happening. But when I’m waiting for clients, if I’m having coffee and I’ve got some spare time, even if I, I get up early in the morning, I always do. And before I go to bed, I’ll jot down things that really. Clicked with me that day.
[00:04:52] Randy Hain: Things that got my attention, it may just be a, an idea for a new blog post. Sometimes I’ll sit down and write an entire blog post or chapter if I’m in the mood. So it’s a very eclectic mix of content. But I just found that the act of writing it down cements it in my mind and it gives me something to look at.
[00:05:11] Randy Hain: I admire people that can use a technology and all those great apps out there, but I find that people rarely go back and look at that. I always go back and review my journals.
[00:05:21] John Ray: Great point. So the book is called being fully present. And that phrase, that idea is the umbrella for all these different stories.
[00:05:33] John Ray: Talk about the whole concept of being fully present and why you think that’s such an important umbrella for our way to look at the world today
[00:05:42] Randy Hain: and live in it. So I would say that we probably want to have a multi dimensional definition. So one aspect, one definition to being fully present is I’m here with you now in this room.
[00:05:53] Randy Hain: We’re talking, I’m listening very clearly to what you’re saying. I’m asking you questions, you’re asking me questions. We are present, you and I, in this moment. Great definition of being fully present. But I think there’s another aspect where, and I do this in the book a lot where we may think about a conversation or maybe it’s just a situation.
[00:06:12] Randy Hain: I ain’t I write about memories. I write about things that I remember from years ago and sometimes I go back to those memories and I try to mine for gold. I’m looking for the nuggets of wisdom, the things cause you say, you may say something to me today that doesn’t click with me for. and I may see, John said this and it really clicked and I may explore that.
[00:06:32] Randy Hain: I may try to, I may even write about it. So for me it’s in the moment with people. Sometimes it’s going back to memory. Sometimes I, there’s actually a fun chapter in the book where I have an encounter with my future self. And if I had not gotten off of a certain track, I would have gone into a place that would have been very negative for me and my family.
[00:06:51] Randy Hain: And and I wrote about that as a fable. I think being fully present is multi dimensional and I hope people get that when they read the book.
[00:06:58] John Ray: , there’s and there’s this concept called quality time that I’ve never quite picked up on, right? That we, as if we can compartmentalize uh, our presence with people and classify it in a certain way as quality time.
[00:07:19] John Ray: And that certainly that has some sort of specific definition to it. That seems odd to me,
[00:07:26] Randy Hain: It’s we have to have, Table stakes, right? Have your phone turned off. Yeah. If you really want to get the most out of a conversation, try to be in a place where you’re not distracted.
[00:07:36] Randy Hain: Some of my best conversations are walking in the woods with, friends or my older son and we like to hike together. So try to be in a place where there is relative quiet. Definitely have your phone turned off. Don’t be distracted. Don’t be thinking also, this is important. About not what you want to say next, but actually absorbing what you hear.
[00:07:56] Randy Hain: Take a minute to reflect on it, and then comment. I think another great way to demonstrate, but also to really practice being fully present, is to take notes with people. I’ll pull out a piece of paper and just jot down something someone says in front of me. I’m signaling to you, what you just said is important.
[00:08:12] Randy Hain: But I also have notes later that I can refer to.
[00:08:15] John Ray: Yeah. Just, the nature of these stories are there they’re yours, they’re not anyone else’s. Yet they speak to wider truths and the way you write Randy, which I’m in all of is that you, it’s very it feels one to one.
[00:08:35] John Ray: Say more on that. That is a deep compliment.
[00:08:38] Randy Hain: You’re very kind. Thank you. I I think I learned that from my mother, Sandy, who passed away 11 years ago. My mother not a train rider, but she wrote poems her entire life. And if you’d read any of her work, you would feel like you were sitting in a room with Sandy Hain.
[00:08:54] Randy Hain: And she would be talking about things that matter to her faith, family, life. But it just always seems so personal. And when I started writing, which was really only about 14 years ago, I think I’ve always been fairly well read, but I started writing about 14 years ago I always made every effort to be authentic in the writing.
[00:09:13] Randy Hain: I don’t want you to ever read something from me and wonder, who’s this guy? I want you to read it and say gosh, I know Randy, and this sounds exactly like him. I want you to feel like you’re having a cup of coffee with me. That is just something that I’ve always been very clear about. I want you to experience what I really think, what I really feel.
[00:09:31] Randy Hain: And this particular book we’re talking about today is probably the most personal of any book I’ve written. I just put it all out there. This is who I am and what I think, and I want you to experience that when you turn the pages.
[00:09:42] John Ray: Yeah I’m laughing and smiling, folks, because as you say that where you put it out there, one of the places you put it out there, just to name one, that made me smile is because in knowing you, I thought.
[00:09:56] John Ray: This is not the Randy I know is your experience with the tour guide in Italy. And I was trying to, you talk about being frustrated. I was trying to think about what Randy Hayne looks like frustrated because you never come across that way when I’m with you.
[00:10:14] Randy Hain: I am generally a very calm person, my tone of voice all the time, but no, there was a story in the book my, we took my family to Italy this year as a graduation present for my younger son, who just graduated from Samford university and we were in Florence it’s just everything’s an incredible site and we had been out doing sightseeing things all day with our tour guide and we were exhausted.
[00:10:37] Randy Hain: Yeah. Now, as I get older, I do get a little frustrated when I get tired and I was tired at the end of the day. And the story is just about really it was a God wink moment, but also a lesson in patience because we were ready to give up and I was, we were all done. But something else happened in the chapter and our tour guide was able to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
[00:10:56] Randy Hain: And it turned out to be an amazing experience. I’ll let you read it to, to learn more, but yeah I can get frustrated, but typically it just my lips purse and I have a funny look in my eye.
[00:11:07] John Ray: That’s the extent of thanks for that warning. But one of the things I took away from that chapter though, and we don’t have to ruin it for everybody, but cause I want you to read it folks.
[00:11:17] John Ray: But is that there was a power of relationship out of that story, that a relationship that you had set up. That you had created and deepened along the way that really bailed out a difficult moment.
[00:11:30] Randy Hain: So just to give you some insight into that we were in Florence, Italy, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
[00:11:36] Randy Hain: And one of the things you have to see. If you go to Florence is the Duomo and it’s it’s actually the church at Santa Maria del Fiore and the Duomo is this beautiful building. It’s a Gothic masterpiece. It’s an incredible building. And if you go to Florence, you have to go inside this church.
[00:11:53] Randy Hain: So all day while we’ve been there for three days and on this day we were there. We were eager to get inside the Duomo at the end of the day. Our tour itinerary said we were going, and at the end of the day, we were with our tour guide, Patricia. And we’d gotten to know her during the day. She was a lovely lady.
[00:12:09] Randy Hain: We were just talking. She was fun. She was a college professor. Very learned. New, she was a native Florentine. So at the end of the day, we were in the museum that’s attached to the Duomo, seeing some wonderful works of art, seeing some amazing things. And it’s getting closer and closer to the end of the day when the tours ended for the Duomo.
[00:12:26] Randy Hain: And we had a private tour. We knew we could get in, but it was getting late. So I finally asked Patricia, when are we going to the Duomo? And she said, that’s not part of your tour. And that’s probably when the pursed lips and the glare came out. And and she said, let me call the company. So she called the tour company and they spoke heatedly in Italian for a few minutes.
[00:12:46] Randy Hain: And she hung up the phone and looked at me and my wife and my sons. And she said, okay, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re Catholic, I’m Catholic, and I happen to know there’s a very special mass today. In the Duomo, that very few people will know about, only locals know about. We’re celebrating the feast day of some of the famous bishops that in the city.
[00:13:07] Randy Hain: And if we go right now, we can make it. Let’s go to Mass. So we were excited. We ran across the square and we got in to inside the Duomo. There were 30 people total in the one place at a side altar. And we had a chance to experience mass in this beautiful church. And then she said, you’re free to walk around and take pictures, do what you want.
[00:13:27] Randy Hain: But this wonderful lady, this thoughtful lady that we’d gotten to know, to your point, built a relationship with, had the foresight to see here’s something we could do that’s very special that they would, the family would not know about. So we had a chance to experience the Duomo practice our faith inside the beautiful church.
[00:13:44] Randy Hain: And it was just one of those amazing moments, but it was a great lesson in the virtue of patience.
[00:13:48] John Ray: Yeah, for sure. And my takeaway from the story, part of my takeaway from that story was she probably didn’t do what the other person, the person on the other end of the line told her to do right. She disobeyed orders.
[00:14:01] John Ray: Probably right. Yeah.
[00:14:03] Randy Hain: And it turned out at the end, we were right. Our itinerary did say it. And there was a mix up, but it was okay because she handled it with grace. She handled it with a deep concern for us and our enjoying our experience. And she also knew that we really wanted to see this church. It all worked out beautifully.
[00:14:19] Randy Hain: But it’s a great lesson on sometimes you just have to be patient and wait. And sometimes God or his agents will make something
[00:14:26] John Ray: happen. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Now you One of your chapters is called The Hectic Pace of Life, and it’s really about do I surrender to, to that hectic pace of life?
[00:14:39] John Ray: Or do I create space? And you talked about your previous tendencies to be a workaholic and to spend a lot of time in business, in your business. And I want to ask you about those folks out there that, and there are a lot of them. That see their business as a mission, and they may see that it may be explicit um, right there on their website or brochure, or it may be In their heart, but they see their business as a mission to serve and almost in a way of prayer.
[00:15:12] John Ray: But you would say there’s still a need to create space is what I think I read there. I
[00:15:21] Randy Hain: would say that my business is a mission and my mission statement is two words. Serve others. So my coaching work, my consulting work, my marriage, my parenting, my community work, my writing is all oriented towards serving other people.
[00:15:37] Randy Hain: But there’s a challenge with that. So to this day, that is still my mission. But if you are constantly serving others, sometimes you’re not taking care of yourself. So I think it’s important that we recognize while we’re in the pursuit of the mission, that we also take time to recharge our batteries.
[00:15:55] Randy Hain: What’s the old saying? If the plane’s going down, you gotta put the oxygen mask on your own face first. And I buy that. I believe that. So I’ve gotten more cognizant as I’ve gotten older of the need to recharge because if I don’t Watch it. I can have a tendency to be really focused on doing and sometimes that’s all what Randy wants to do.
[00:16:16] Randy Hain: That’s what I’m trying to get done. I’ve got this checklist of things to do, but sometimes I, and I’ve learned how to do this, how to pull back, invest time and just technology free walks. And I exercise every day at lunch and my prayer time in the morning. My family time. I’ve learned that I need those things to fill my cup.
[00:16:35] Randy Hain: You cannot give to others from an empty cup. I think you can still have a sense of mission and absolutely do what you are called to do, but you better take care of yourself in the meantime. Yeah. What you’re talking
[00:16:46] John Ray: about is sustainability, right? Yeah. Not in the environmental sense, but just that, that sustaining yourself for the journey.
[00:16:56] Randy Hain: It’s self care. You’ve got to practice self care. I think COVID taught us plenty about this, that we need to do our best to take care of ourselves. And I think at the time it was probably very focused on mental health. Yeah. And I think to this day, we still need to think about that. But yeah, for all those that are listening.
[00:17:13] Randy Hain: that are out there hard charging, taking the world by storm, my hat’s off to you. I hope to, be with you in the trenches every day. But I also know that, you know what, today I’m not sure I have the energy to give as much as I’d like. I better pull out for just a minute and just focus on clearing my head, getting my energy back, taking care of my health.
[00:17:34] John Ray: And you talk about this Randy from and I point this chapter out specifically because a big part of the book is you talking about your own journey as a workaholic and that you your own struggles with that, what that led to, you mentioned the story earlier about where that would have led if you hadn’t changed direction.
[00:17:57] John Ray: So talk two things on that. Just share your thoughts about walking back from the brink of that for those that need to hear that and how to do that. And then just the idea of how personal you are in sharing that in the book.
[00:18:14] Randy Hain: No, I’m not sure when I first heard this or saw it as a meme on the internet, but there’s a, I want you to picture a gravestone that says.
[00:18:24] Randy Hain: He had a great career and think about that for a second and ask yourself, do you really want your life to be, he had a great career. And I can tell you that when I got that message years ago, it’s really served as a bit of a beacon for me to recognize that I don’t want my life and my tombstone to read.
[00:18:41] Randy Hain: He had a great career. I want it to be that he was a good husband, a good father. Served his community, was a good friend maybe made a difference in the world, but if all I’ve done at the end of my life is I’ve put money in the bank and I had great titles and that’s it. I failed. So when I got that message, it always served as a course correction for me.
[00:19:00] Randy Hain: And I strayed off that path many times where my work would consume me and I’d get really focused on doing, maybe, the Lord has given me the ability to produce more than others. And I certainly tried to produce as much as I could, but I also recognized, and the book talks a lot about that journey.
[00:19:17] Randy Hain: About things and people and situations that helped me get back on track. I’m not here today to tell you that I’ve completely figured it out, but I’m a lot better off than I was five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago. And this fable you’re referring to… I Was a senior executive of a global restaurant company in my early thirties and had a great job, but I traveled nonstop and worked constantly and I simply wrote a fable about what would have happened if I’d stayed there 10 more years.
[00:19:49] Randy Hain: What would have happened to me, my life and my family and and how I pulled back from the precipice and went a different direction. I think there are a lot of workaholics out there. I think you can never shed it. But I still think I am one. But I know how to get myself back on track. I’ve got trusted people.
[00:20:05] Randy Hain: My wife being at the front of the list there, who’s great at helping me pull back from that. I pray about this constantly and constantly focused on building things into my calendar that helped me. Not go into the unhealthy place where workaholics go. Yeah, the book does deal a lot with that topic, but I think the reader will find so many examples that probably will resonate with them in their lives, at least that’s my hope.
[00:20:30] Randy Hain: Yeah, I think it
[00:20:31] John Ray: does. So I think it will. That’s why I wanted to have you on to talk about it. So thank you folks. We’re here with Randy Hayne. Randy is the author of being fully present on the subtitle, which I love is true stories of epiphanies and powerful lessons from everyday life. How do you know when you have the right balance?
[00:20:54] Randy Hain: I Think I’ve come to believe that balance is a myth. I’m not sure we can ever get to pure 50 50 balance, but I do think we can do a couple of things. I think we can focus on an integrated life where your priorities are straight and you’ve got, I will tell you in my own life, I can only speak for myself, it’s God, family.
[00:21:13] Randy Hain: Health, relationships, and work. Notice that work is number five on the list. But you know what? My work thrives and is well served because I take care of the other priorities first. So for me, it’s not about, an equal allotment of time throughout the day. It’s focusing on, have I planned those other priorities first?
[00:21:32] Randy Hain: So if you were to look at my calendar, you would see that all those priorities are actually scheduled, taken care of. But you know what? My business thrives. My clients are happy. Because when I do show up, I give them my absolute best. Now, 15 years ago, they were probably getting a more stretched version of me.
[00:21:50] Randy Hain: Again, I can’t really speak to balance because I’m not sure I believe that it exists. But I do believe if you’ve got your priorities straight, you’re integrating your work and life and faith and all those things that matter to you. I think that it produces a healthier version of you. And I think that this book is one of the things, one of the tools that can help you on that journey.
[00:22:07] Randy Hain: So
[00:22:10] John Ray: you talk about the, in the conclusion, you’re talking about mining for gold. Let’s explain that.
[00:22:19] Randy Hain: I believe, and this is one of the things that probably is a big reason why this book is resonating with people, is I think every encounter, it can be with my younger son in a five minute text exchange when he’s over in Birmingham and I’m here.
[00:22:34] Randy Hain: It could be with someone I meet in the elevator. It could be an hour with John Ray. I find that every situation, every conversation yields something of value. Everything. I learned something if I’m really focused on it from everybody. So I go into every conversation, every moment of my day thinking about where can I extract value?
[00:22:57] Randy Hain: Where can I learn something? One of the reasons I journal is I write down things that maybe I’m starting to see value and I want to go back and reflect on it later. But I think, and this is a great sort of human sort of Maxim, shouldn’t we all engage with each other, hoping to derive great value from the exchange?
[00:23:15] Randy Hain: And I think that’s another reason why we all need to spend more time with each other. Not virtually, but with each other. There’s nothing to, nothing’s ever going to replace a cup of coffee, a meal and a hug and a handshake. So I find in those moments, I just get so much value. I call it mining for gold.
[00:23:31] John Ray: And there’s a What I find quite beautiful expectation in that that you expect to find that in every encounter that you meet and just that mindset alone. I think it’s quite, refreshing.
[00:23:45] Randy Hain: One of the things that fuels it is I’m a high functioning introvert, so I love people, but I can tell you about five in the afternoon, I’m done with people.
[00:23:54] Randy Hain: So one of the things that fuels me and gets me excited about engaging with others is the chance, the slight chance that I am going to get something that will change my perspective. Teach me something or rock my world. And that’s one of the things that gets my introverted side of my brain excited about engaging with people.
[00:24:15] John Ray: Very nice. Lots of stories in here, past and present relatively present. Talk about give me your favorite.
[00:24:24] Randy Hain: My favorite is the last story of the book. And I’m going to share it with your listeners because it’s just, it’s a fun story, a beautiful story. Earlier this summer, I was having dinner with my older son, Alex, and we were at a restaurant in Roswell.
[00:24:38] Randy Hain: And just he and I were chit chatting, just having a conversation, and I noticed an older gentleman sat next to us, at an angle. And when you picture this man’s face, I want you to think about Robert Frost, the poet in his later years. That’s who he looked like. So he sits down, and he’s by himself.
[00:24:54] Randy Hain: And I’m talking to Alex, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed, That his food arrived along with a glass of wine. And I’m talking to Alex and then, again, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he raised his glass with a trembling hand and he set a toast, a silent toast, to the empty seat in front of him.
[00:25:15] Randy Hain: And it just, it was really one of those moments. I was the only one in the restaurant that probably noticed it, but it really hit me. So I’m just thinking about it and I’m trying to be attentive to Alex and I’m trying to think about what I just saw and our server came over. And I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I said, can you tell me anything about this gentleman sitting across from us?
[00:25:35] Randy Hain: I’m just curious. Do you know him? And she had a wealth of insight. She said he and his wife used to come here for many years and I heard, but I’m not sure that she passed away. He just started coming back to the restaurant about three weeks ago. And I didn’t expect to get that insight, but I just was sitting there thinking about what it must have been like for him to lose probably his spouse of many years, how sad it was for him and how touching it was to see him honor his wife who had passed away.
[00:26:07] Randy Hain: So the check came and I also asked for his check anonymously. And I just said I wrote a little note on it and I said from one of your Roswell neighbors, I just wanted to extend an act of kindness and I hope you have a great evening and enjoy your meal. And I didn’t do that to make myself feel better.
[00:26:25] Randy Hain: I wanted just to let this man know in some small way, he’ll never see me again. I’ll never see him again, probably. But I wanted to know how much he impacted me. I wanted him to feel a little less lonely on a, on an evening. And and I just wanted to do something for him and on the way out. And driving home, I was just thinking about that loss, human loss is a part of the human experience.
[00:26:48] Randy Hain: Our journey inevitably leads to that outcome. And I wonder how many people that we need to probably raise a silent toast to over dinner tonight. I like this gentleman who touched me so much. So the chapter of the title, the chapter is titled. A silent toast to an empty seat. And it’s a quick read, but it’s probably one of the most powerful stories in the book.
[00:27:10] Randy Hain: Yes, it’s
[00:27:12] John Ray: certainly powerful in the telling. Yeah, that the, and, and what you did was, and which is a lesson for all of us is just create a little space for people to breathe, right? That we, that, and it wasn’t about you because this person will never know what you did, right? But you created a little space for someone to breathe.
[00:27:34] John Ray: And that has ramifications down the road that you can never know, but they’re powerful nonetheless.
[00:27:41] Randy Hain: And I can tell you that is a chapter that people have really resonated with because every person, everybody’s experienced loss, right? But just this idea of tonight, tomorrow night, Thanksgiving’s a great time to do it.
[00:27:53] Randy Hain: Raise your toast and salute someone that’s not with us anymore. I’ll raise one tonight for my mother, Sandy, who passed away.
[00:28:01] John Ray: Great words from Randy Hain. Randy is the author of being fully present true stories of epiphanies and powerful lessons from everyday life. Randy, where can
[00:28:12] Randy Hain: folks find the book?
[00:28:13] Randy Hain: The book is readily available on Amazon paperback hardcover ebook, and there’ll be an audible version early next year.
[00:28:21] John Ray: You’ve got such a great voice. That would be a great version to get. And it’s and thank you. The format works for it too because it, you don’t have to have a very long drive in the car to tackle a chapter.
[00:28:33] John Ray: So
[00:28:33] Randy Hain: it’s a, some people, I don’t know what they think of it, but my voice is always li this is my calm voice. That’s how I always talk. Unless I’m frustrated trying to get a good D. That’s right,
[00:28:42] John Ray: that’s right. If you see Randy at four in Florence at five o’clock run right. . I love it. Randy Hain. Thanks so much for coming in and talking to us about the book.
[00:28:53] John Ray: We appreciate you and the great work you do,
[00:28:54] Randy Hain: John. Thank you. As always. I’m grateful.
[00:28:56] John Ray: Thank you. Hey folks, just a quick reminder. If you’ve got some frustrations over your back office I’ve got a group of angels that will fly in and get that work done and they will fly out and give you joy back in your life as a small business owner, those angels come from Office Angels and they have a whole team
[00:29:17] John Ray: tackle administrative tasks, bookkeeping, marketing presentations quite a list of capabilities that they have. I use them from in my business and I couldn’t work without them, which is why I endorse them. So give them a call at 6 7 8 5 2 8 0 5 0 0. Tell them I sent you. If you’re shy, go to officeangels.
[00:29:40] John Ray: us and check them out. But I just encourage you to give them a call, explain what your problem is. and see how they can help. You’ll be glad you did. And folks, just a quick reminder. If you’re a small solo or small firm professional services provider, I’ve got a book coming out that might be for you. If you’re having trouble with your business development, your pricing, The book’s called The Generosity Mindset Method for Business Success.
[00:30:05] John Ray: Raise Your Confidence, Your Value, and Your Prices . This book is, will be available mid December, 2023. So if you’re listening to this show after that it’s out. Check it out. If you want more information, go to the generosity mindset. com to earn more. And I want to thank you, our listener, where this is show number seven.
[00:30:29] John Ray: I think something like that for North Fulton business radio. And we’ve only gotten this far because you continue to support us in the way you do. And I’m grateful to you for that.
[00:30:40] John Ray: You one of the things that you do always is you share the show. And I’ve heard this from listeners and thank you for that. You share the show when you have someone who’s been on the show, whose message you really like, maybe their product or service you really you think somebody else could use it or somebody like Randy has written a terrific book and you think somebody else needs to hear about that book.
[00:31:10] John Ray: You’ve shared the show. Continue to do that, please. That’s how we celebrate great business leaders in our community, like Randy. And others that we’ve had on the show and you help us fulfill our mission to be the voice of business in the North Fulton region. So for my guests, Randy Hain, I’m John Ray.
[00:31:29] John Ray: Join us next time here on North Fulton business radio.