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Intro: [00:00:07] Broadcasting live from the Business RadioX studios in Woodstock, Georgia. Welcome to Kid Biz Radio. Brought to you by the Business Radio Main Street Warriors program. For more information, go to Main Street Warriors dot org. Now here’s your host.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:00:32] Hello, everyone. Renee here. And I’m here with Amy. We are here to create conversations about the power of entrepreneurship and the positive impact that journey can have on kids.

Amy Guest: [00:00:44] In With us today is a special guest, Ms.. Shanna Beavers with Off Your Plate.

Shanna Beavers: [00:00:50] Welcome.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:00:51] Thank you. Thank you for being here.

Shanna Beavers: [00:00:53] Thanks for asking.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:00:53] So we have a lighthearted topic today. Failure and redefining what that means. So, I mean, it’s hard to jump right into that.

Amy Guest: [00:01:07] Let’s talk a little bit about her business and then we’ll go into that.

Shanna Beavers: [00:01:11] Oh, cool. Okay. So, yeah, I am one of the owners of Off Your Plate ATL. So we’re local residential and commercial cleaning company. Anything else?

Renee Dierdorff: [00:01:22] How long have you been doing that?

Shanna Beavers: [00:01:24] I have personally been doing it for a year. My partner Emily has been doing it for over six years.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:01:30] And. As I say, she we we were hoping we could have her with us today, so.

Shanna Beavers: [00:01:36] Hi, Emily. Good luck with.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:01:38] Everything you’ve got going on. So, yeah, we. Teaching our kids about failure is one of those things that is inevitable. They’re going to go through things in their life that they’re going to be have some setbacks and they’re going to feel pretty crummy. And I was just talking with Amy earlier about how as a parent, you can’t really you can’t shield and protect your kid from those things because they’re going to happen.

Amy Guest: [00:02:10] Despite our best.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:02:11] Efforts.

Shanna Beavers: [00:02:11] The best efforts.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:02:13] So I think. What we’re going to talk about today is kind of understanding that we need to have conversations with our kids about failure and, you know, pushing the drug. You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine or.

Amy Guest: [00:02:29] Positive ways to get through it.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:02:30] You learn.

Amy Guest: [00:02:31] That what comes from it.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:02:32] From it, maybe sharing some of the own your own failures, showing them that you’re a real person and things like that. So that being said. I thought maybe you guys could tell me if you don’t have anything to share. But have you guys had to deal with this in your own life with your kids yet so far? And how did you go through that or anything?

Shanna Beavers: [00:02:58] Oh, yeah. So with my daughter, Lily, she’s almost 12. She takes failure pretty hard, so she doesn’t bounce back easily. She takes it very personally. And I’ve I’ve struggled. My husband and I both are one of these, you know, pick yourself, feel sorry for yourself for a moment, then pick yourself back up and get started all over again. And she just doesn’t tend to think about it that way. So I was pretty inspired recently when we saw a short interview clip of a woman who said her father used to encourage her to fail and then basically turn, turn the failure around. And what did you learn and how can you do it better next time? And I thought that would be such a great way to encourage Lily to embrace failing. And you know, her most recent, I guess, failure that absolutely broke my heart was trying out for cheer. So she’s been doing competition cheer and we specifically got her involved with that to help her with her middle school tryouts. And so she and all of her friends tried out and she was one of two cheerleaders that didn’t make it. And then on top of that, she tried out for the school competition team and didn’t make it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:04:16] And so it was really hard on her because her gym was having what they call evaluation. So when you try out at the gym, you actually get put on a team. They just evaluate what team you should be put on. And so we went into those and she kept saying, Try out. What if I don’t make it? What if I don’t make it? And it just killed me, you know? So it was I guess it was good for her to be able to have that win after those two failures. But I wish I could have I wish I’d had that point of view when she didn’t make it the first time in all of her friends made it and could have said, Hey, great, So, you know, you you didn’t make the team. What can we do to make that different next time and what did we learn from it? And that just means that this opportunity is coming instead of maybe that wasn’t the right opportunity. So I really like the idea of encouraging your kids to get out there and and fail and then figure out how do you make that into something that is a good thing.

Amy Guest: [00:05:14] Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s a great idea. A better way of looking at it. I know it tends to be harder when you have the emotions that come with that age range and trying to make that make sense when it is all about what your friends are doing and what you may not be doing. So I imagine that isn’t going to be an easy concept, you know, like initially to try and implement or in that scenario, I think I know for my girls, I imagine at least one or one of them doesn’t take failure very well at all. I have a perfectionist, so I can see how that how hard that is to try and explain that, like find the positive and they just sometimes can’t, you know, for a while until they can wrap their head around it and see the other side. You know, it’s hard.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:06:03] Yeah, that’s why they need to go through those failures so they can see that they can be resilient and then be proud of themselves.

Shanna Beavers: [00:06:09] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:06:10] For doing so. And then the next time it happens, they’ve got these coping skills. They feel a little more equipped, right? Because they kind of have to I don’t know if we can guide them on it, but it’s their own personal. Experience that they like, how they process that failure individually.

Shanna Beavers: [00:06:29] Right.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:06:29] And that’s what I think builds that resilience. And because, you know, you have we have our own frame of reference that we’re going through and we’re trying to coach them through it, but. You know, they’re going to be because Lily is different than you, like you said. So she might take a little longer or whatever. But I mean, I’ve known her for a few years now, and I, I think she’s come a long way with all of that. And a lot of that is just growing up, too, of course, because she’s older now, But I think she’s doing great. And you guys are doing great because there was an article I was reading and like kind of what we were talking about, it’s failure is good for kids because there’s a variety of reasons, but it’s a gift of coping. So allowing them to fail and makes them stronger gives them the ability to process natural consequences. So I think we’ve talked about that before. Sometimes if they fail or they get in trouble or something. And I don’t like using the word fail so much because it’s so negative. But when something happens and they might get in trouble or something, it can go the way they wanted it to. They kind of have to sit in it for a minute.

Amy Guest: [00:07:32] Yes. That that one is hard for me. Yeah.

Shanna Beavers: [00:07:35] Yeah.

Amy Guest: [00:07:35] I had to learn to change the way I approach the scenario. Like letting my child who’s upset about a scenario sit in it for a minute because you automatically you want to fix it, right? Like, that’s why I don’t want you to be upset. You can’t hurt. You can’t hurt, You can’t cry like I am here to fix it, but you can’t. And that is so hard. I think personally, as a parent, I had to learn how to teach her that her feelings of negative feelings like sadness or anger, those are okay. And it’s she has to feel them to get to the other side instead of waiting for somebody to fix it and move her to the other side. It’s the powers within herself. So I had to definitely learn the sitting in the SOC part of the feelings. That one was a hard concept for me, like.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:08:22] You’re talking about. So she you’re not going in there and validating her and saying that she’s okay. She has to find it within herself, that she’s okay. And that because we were talking about Bernie Brown and if you’ve listened to any of her stuff, but she talks about shame.

Shanna Beavers: [00:08:36] Love, Brené Brown. I read all of her books.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:08:38] Oh, well, if you still have any hardcovers, I would love to borrow them.

Shanna Beavers: [00:08:41] I do.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:08:41] But she talks about, like, the difference between shame and guilt. You can feel bad about doing something, but it’s not. You are not that bad thing that happened. And so I think processing, giving them that space to process and then they may have questions and you might be able to coach them a little bit, but it’s like you are the thing that happened was not.

Shanna Beavers: [00:09:01] Doesn’t define.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:09:01] You, it doesn’t define yourself who you are. And I think those words and being able to have those conversations are important because another thing she was talking about was when she was growing up, everybody was fine in the house. You didn’t talk about emotions. You just everybody’s fine because and it may just be and that’s within the family unit. It’s not necessarily because from the outside you want everybody to perceive a perfect family.

Amy Guest: [00:09:22] I think that’s also generational.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:09:24] Absolutely.

Amy Guest: [00:09:25] Yep. I think that more I’ve. Trying with raising my daughters, learning how to find my path. Outside of that, the way that I was taught, you know, like we have to come up with another way sometimes so that they are free to feel their emotions and express their feelings and find it within themselves and gain that confident confidence and empower themselves where we because it wasn’t a central focus for the generation prior to us to teach us that because everybody was fine. You do your own, you survive, right? And us having to learn to to rearrange that thought process, to teach our kids to do that, I think, excuse me, is our generation’s like new way, you know, that cycle breaking and trying to come up with a better way to let your kids grow more confident within their emotions and finally figure out how to survive their failures. And not just like not just survive them, but get through them, I guess.

Shanna Beavers: [00:10:26] Yeah, I found that, you know, Lily is my only child, so trying to figure all of it out. Obviously, Firstborn is like, you’re just trying to figure out how to do all this stuff. And I found myself, especially when it came to grades, trying to prevent failure. And my husband and I would go kind of round and round about this and, you know, got to get straight A’s, we’ve got to have straight A’s and B’s, blah, blah, blah. And at one point I was like, you know what? She’s got to figure out how to fail, you know? And if that means failing a grade, that means failing a grade. But I can’t force her to not fail. She has to figure that out on her own. So also part of that, I think, is kind of stepping out of the way. And us as parents trying to control the experience of whether or not they fail and just knowing when the the moment is. It’s okay if she fails this time because she’s got to learn, right. What that’s like.

Amy Guest: [00:11:22] Being the safe space for her to come to once the failure occurs. But knowing that you’re there, but you’re not the one that’s going to solve it, right. Unless, you know, obviously there are situations, but in general, she’s got to learn how to do it. I mean, giving them back that power, I think has been key. Is key rather, to a healthier way of learning this.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:11:43] I like the way you said, giving them back the power, make them feel. I mean, it’s part of independence, but making them you are in control of this, you know, and that sets them up in the future tremendously. And another thing was talking about being a role model. And I think what you were saying about the generational thing is like we had to we have to not unlearn things but learn how so that we can be that role model.

Shanna Beavers: [00:12:10] And.

Amy Guest: [00:12:11] You know, no, you do have to unlearn it. I mean, if you’re taught a certain way, but you want your child to learn a different way, like you first have to figure out what that looks like before you can be that model of that. Absolutely. You do have to unlearn some things or rearrange them, I guess.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:12:28] Redefine it, Redefine.

Shanna Beavers: [00:12:29] School, right?

Renee Dierdorff: [00:12:30] Yeah, Yeah. Redefine the way you think of things. Another thing I know that Brené Brown talks about, and since you’ve read the stuff, you might be able to fix my quote here, but she just talks about. Being curious, being, having the courage to try.

Shanna Beavers: [00:12:44] Things.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:12:45] Helps with. If it’s something new, there’s a likelihood that you’ll fail doing it or have hiccups along the way. So encourage your kids to try new things. Like Layla, for example. She. My oldest. Years ago, she. She did go to a counselor for various things, but she learned coping skills and stuff. But one of the things that they recommended is behavioral therapy. And it was amazing. One of the things they recommended was her to try something that scared her to do, something that scared her because she was rather cautious and she chose to do zip lining.

Shanna Beavers: [00:13:21] Oh, that’s a big jump.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:13:22] Yeah, well, you know, go big or go home. Yeah, but it was there’s a there’s a couple of them and there are parks around and they’re up in the trees and stuff and there’s different levels and everything in your harnessed in and I was safely watching from the ground but it. Gives them the power. She tried it. She had some issues, you know, learning how to do all the things. But when they do it, that just it’s just incredible to be able to. You know.

Amy Guest: [00:13:52] I bet it helps her confidence so much.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:13:55] And she’s wanted to do other things. It kind of stemmed from that. And now she’s, you know, more daring than I ever thought she would be, so encouraging them to try things. And it could be a variety of things. It depends maybe on what that fear is that they have. So, yeah, I mean, if you have a fearful or cautious kiddo, that’s I recommend doing that completely. And I mean, like with our expose, right?

Amy Guest: [00:14:16] Well, yeah, I was going to say that that’s trying something new, like they’re putting themselves out there and they’re learning a brand new way of interacting with people and learning how to communicate on a different level and what And so those the day comes with ups and downs of failures and what works and what doesn’t work and positive and negative things. But they’re doing it and they’re learning from it on. A Yeah, and they’re learning from.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:14:40] It because as we’re going through all of it, we’re, as we’re preparing up for an expo, we talk to the parents and stuff and our Facebook group that we have and you know, we always through the emails that Amy sends out and also those lives, we tell them like the kids are front and center, like you can come and bring a chair and sit in the back, but let them do it because that’s the point. And then another thing would be, I think it’s important and I kind of talked to the generational thing and just things of the past where we show our kids that we’re also human, right? It can be when we fail currently kind of talk them through how we’re processing it with as long as it’s, you know, make it kid friendly. But and then how you’ve maybe in the past you’ve had some failures obviously when they go something like, well when I was this back when I was a kid.

Shanna Beavers: [00:15:33] Back when we were dinosaurs to school. Yeah. Uphill both ways in the snow. No barefoot.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:15:38] Dinosaurs. I like.

Shanna Beavers: [00:15:39] That.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:15:40] So, yeah, I mean, 1900s.

Shanna Beavers: [00:15:43] Yeah. All right. Just like. Oh, no.

Amy Guest: [00:15:48] But learning. Yeah. Showing that your kids at your human and how I know for me as somebody that has anxiety and then also a child that suffers from anxiety, I had to learn that. I have to show. Positive ways that I feel about myself and what I’ve learned. Because if I constantly, I’m like, Oh my God, I did this to God and I failed this. And you know, everything is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And I have a kid who’s just like me. She’s going to see it the same way that all of these things about me are bad and they’re not. So you have to also reframe how you present yourself and how you feel about yourself, like letting them see that, like the good and the bad. But they got to see the good too. Like, you can’t only be like, Oh my God, all these things are awful and everything’s falling apart and blah, blah, blah. You know, like, you have to be like, But I got through this and I did, you know, and we’re moving forward, you know, like showing them that, okay, if mommy who has these similar situations or even not, but just seeing that like I’m trying to find the words that I’m explaining, but like, you’re a real person. Yeah. I mean that you’re real, but you have to not let them see. Like, severely beating yourself up about it, Right? You know, they have to ask because then that’s that’s all they’re going to do to, like, practice what you preach. Yeah, I.

Shanna Beavers: [00:17:12] Think that’s part of finding the positive part of failure. There’s always a positive part of failure. It may be hard to see immediately, but as an example with Lily, at some point when I think it, we did handle it properly. Again, back to competition cheer. Sorry. I mean, that’s hard work, right? That’s super hard. Work hard. But in her very, very, very first competition, she was a bass, a side bass, and they did their stunt. And the other two bass has lost control of the flier and she started to crash to the ground. Well, in competition, if your flier touches the ground, the entire team is disqualified. Oh, so, Lily, we watched Lily as she just flung her arm around that girl, and with all of her strength, literally kept her from touching the ground. Wow. And brought her back up. That’s awesome. Well, me, we’re looking at that going, Oh, my gosh, you just saved the team. You know, when we go backstage.

Amy Guest: [00:18:11] And she gave me chills.

Shanna Beavers: [00:18:13] We go backstage. And when they all come back out after the team huddled and everything, she saw us. She lost it, just tears and sobbing. And we’re like, What? What? What in the world What are you crying about? Oh, we dropped her. I dropped her, I dropped her, and I said, Lily, you saved her. You saved the team. And it wasn’t until she she didn’t comprehend that. And then they ended up winning third place. That’s awesome. And after that, when we were in the car, she was like, Okay, yeah, I did that. I did that. Yeah. And I said, Honey, you take the win. Yeah, that’s a big way. Yes, Yes. Your flier fell and yes, you guys lost points over that, but you saved the team from being disqualified. You have to give yourself credit for that. That’s a big deal. Yeah. So. Yeah, but it was funny to us. We didn’t see failure.

Amy Guest: [00:19:06] No, not one bit.

Shanna Beavers: [00:19:06] You know, we were like, wow, she’s eight. But in her mind, she just completely let the entire team down, you know?

Amy Guest: [00:19:15] But seeing that positive, like changing her way of thinking, like she automatically went negative, but then seeing that, wait a minute, that turnaround, like there’s the bad side of that, like you did save the day. Like, that’s amazing. And that I imagine that was a huge boost of confidence to look at it that way. Yeah.

Shanna Beavers: [00:19:33] For her, yeah she was when the look of shock on her face when they announced them as third place winners, that was priceless. I wish I could have gotten it on.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:19:43] You got to talk to her before.

Shanna Beavers: [00:19:44] We did talk to her before. So that’s because we had to continue watching competition. Yeah. And she wouldn’t even sit with her team. She was so embarrassed and so down on herself that she stayed with us instead of sitting with the team.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:19:56] While we talk to her.

Shanna Beavers: [00:19:57] Well, you know. Yeah, but it’s like later. It’s a whole. Nah, I don’t think so, but it’s a whole. Hey, we did great. We did. It’s okay. Don’t let the bad things get you down. That kind of. Yeah. Talk. Yeah, but, yeah, it was. It was. That was a good opportunity.

Amy Guest: [00:20:13] Yeah, that’s a great moment. Oh, I.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:14] Love her so.

Shanna Beavers: [00:20:15] Much.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:16] She’s such a big heart.

Amy Guest: [00:20:17] That’s it. Awesome. Like to think that quickly. Like, that’s.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:21] Awesome. She knew what she was supposed to do.

Shanna Beavers: [00:20:23] Yeah. Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:24] And it was just second nature. But, you know, she didn’t see it in that way right away, right?

Shanna Beavers: [00:20:29] Oh.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:30] We love her so much.

Shanna Beavers: [00:20:32] Me too.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:20:35] There are some other there are some other things in this article like. It was the beginning of a. It’s the origin of success. Failure can be like you can talk to your kids about like Abraham Lincoln and everything that he went to before he was went through before he became president. If you look it up, it’s incredible. It takes you long to explain it now. But all the things he ran for in the Senate and whatever else and just didn’t win, didn’t win, didn’t win, didn’t win, but kept going. Family stuff happening and everything. And and obviously that time period, you know, there was a lot of death and things that happened. But just Albert Einstein and the light bulb and all the things, you know, and just showing them how it’s inevitable and. People throughout time have been doing this. But that’s that’s the only way to innovate.

Shanna Beavers: [00:21:27] Well, yeah, it is to.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:21:28] Try new things.

Amy Guest: [00:21:29] Probably the majority of all businesses that run our day to day life started in a completely different direction. That all stems from how it’s going to circle into a different area, you know, and it essentially is a failure. But then what comes from it? Yeah, something else that now we rely on, on a daily basis, you know.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:21:49] Well, we’re all business owners. So is there anything, any kind of business failures or lessons that you’ve learned along the way that you would like to share that you’ve overcome?

Shanna Beavers: [00:22:00] Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, when I shared this yesterday on Facebook, I made a joke about how I’m an expert at failure. And to be quite honest with you, I am an expert at failure. I do believe I am. It’s not my middle name, like I said. But I mean, I have had so many businesses and some of them have been successful and some of them haven’t. And so people you know, I had a restaurant at one point that I stupidly opened in the middle of the was the crash like 2007 0809. Yeah. Oh, gosh, young and stupid. But anyway, I went into that making all kinds of bad decisions. And because it was a dream of mine, right? I had worked so long in the restaurant industry and I thought, Oh, here’s this opportunity, it’s time. And everybody kept saying, But you don’t have enough money and you don’t have this and you don’t have that, I’ll forget it. I’m just not that I’m not that kind of person. I’ll figure out how to make it work once I get into it. So anyway, it did end up failing and, you know, it crushed me for for two years. I wouldn’t cook a meal. I just I wouldn’t it just I was like, I’m done with food. I literally just walked away from food. And many people are like, Well, do you regret it? No way. I don’t regret regret a single thing about it. I learned so many things about business.

Shanna Beavers: [00:23:19] I joked with Rene the other day. I for the longest time I’ve said I should write a book about how not to start a business because that’s probably brilliant. I’ll do it. I know how not to start a business. So, yeah, I mean, even like with Lily, she was when I got laid off in 2018, she was at an age to watch me for the next two years, try one thing after another and fail and fail and fail and fail until I finally did come across something that worked, you know, it just worked. And so, yeah, she’s seen the me, the ups and the downs and the and feeling bad, talking bad about myself and all of that kind of stuff. But I feel like personally, as her mother, I’m a good example of, you know, what comes out of failure. And I know a friend of mine, her mom commented on the post I shared about this and she kind of suggested maybe the word is stumble, not failure. And to a certain extent I disagree because we don’t talk in terms of, oh, well, you stumbled now what are you going to do? It’s failure. That’s you know what I mean? The word failure has a specific meaning for a reason. And so I think that if we glossed over what failure actually is and how failure actually feels, then we’re not doing ourselves or our kids any good.

Amy Guest: [00:24:42] Makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. If you don’t know what the word even means and how to understand what just happen, then how can you feel it and soften it and get past it?

Shanna Beavers: [00:24:51] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:24:52] Don’t put lipstick on it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:24:53] Right.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:24:54] It is what I mean. It’s.

Shanna Beavers: [00:24:55] I get it. I get where she’s coming from. Their kids. Right. So maybe we don’t want to be used what we feel is such a harsh word, but that’s the whole paradigm shift that I think has to be made is failure should not be a negative, dirty word, Harsh, dirty word. It shouldn’t be because there is no successful person that I know of that didn’t fail at something. Absolutely.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:25:17] I think it’s the communication around it like we’re trying to do. And we’ve heard more about, obviously in the last five, ten years trying to not normalize it. Maybe that’s the right word. I don’t really know. But just make it more commonplace that you can talk about this. It’s not taboo. It is a part of it. You’re not going to get around it. It will happen is not if and I know Brené Brown talked to one time about how she goes and talks to leaders of companies and, you know, she’s like, well, what are you going to do when you fail? And they’re like, Well, we’ll just strategize around it. She’s like, You can’t strategize your way out of failure. It’s going to happen. And they just she’s trying to change the way they think from a high level corporate world setting to be prepared for the inevitable. Yeah, because it’ll happen. Yeah. And it’s okay.

Shanna Beavers: [00:26:04] You can’t be, like.

Amy Guest: [00:26:06] Invisible from it, you know?

Shanna Beavers: [00:26:07] Like, yeah.

Amy Guest: [00:26:08] You can’t hide from it.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:26:09] So you got to learn how to cope with it, right? Yeah. And when we talk about kid biz and why we. Or why we started this to begin with. One of the things is to learn failure and learn resilience and then therefore be proud of yourself and grow your confidence. I mean, there’s so much that comes from it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:26:31] Mm hmm.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:26:32] Like the Phenix rising out of the ashes, as I say, you know, I mean, like, you, you, it it adds to your personality. I mean, it makes you who you are. I mean, there are so many positive things. I mean, you know, you talk you start dating, right? When you’re, I don’t know, a teenager and you’re it’s very superficial. And, you know, there’s not a whole lot to you yet, you know, like there’s not there’s no depth necessarily. And then as you gain experiences throughout your life, those conversations you have with dates and stuff become a little more interesting. And, you know, I mean, it’s important to have those experiences. And like we were saying, like, have your kids try new things that helps with that, like something totally off the wall and different. That’s what we try to use the summers for. Yeah. Is try to go do something that maybe none of us have done before and just have the experience.

Shanna Beavers: [00:27:20] That’s one of the things I love about Kid Bizz Expo is, you know, most business people are going to try something and figure out it doesn’t work for them and try something else. And so, you know, they’re they’re kids, so they’re not like you and I where we’re like, Oh, this is my business. And now you go out and you just advertise and you market and blah, blah, blah. And then if it fails, it’s super embarrassing. And then you have to show up at the networking group and go, okay, that didn’t work in business. Just kidding. Yeah. So for them, they don’t have that yet. It’s. Oh, well, making jewelry wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be. So let’s bake Dog biscuit.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:27:54] I didn’t enjoy it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:27:55] Let’s try that now, which is.

Amy Guest: [00:27:56] A great way to look.

Shanna Beavers: [00:27:57] At it. Yeah, I think that that Kid Expo is a the perfect outlet for children, even if they’re not born entrepreneurs to feel comfortable and safe in trying new things and then understanding why it didn’t work and then having the opportunity to try again.

Amy Guest: [00:28:15] Absolutely. And like we always say, they’re not going to like, rule the world with their cookies or jewelry, but they’re understanding all the concepts that come with it by trying these things and seeing what their passions actually are.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:28:28] Mm hmm. Having the courage to try it. Courage is an important word, I think.

Amy Guest: [00:28:32] Which I would say. I was thinking when you were saying you were like a master at failure. Maybe you’re just, like, incredibly brave at trying new things.

Shanna Beavers: [00:28:41] That’s what I was like.

Amy Guest: [00:28:42] You can reword the way that you see yourself in that situation as well. And yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:28:47] And you show up to the like if it’s one thing or the other, you show up to those meetings with your head held high like this is you can laugh it off or you just, you know, you’re like, you accept it and it’s what it is. And I think a lot of what can be said for that.

Amy Guest: [00:28:59] Yeah, yeah. That’s incredibly brave. I think personally.

Shanna Beavers: [00:29:03] Thank you. I tend to operate that way. Emily and I both. One thing that makes us a good partners makes us good partners for each other and then bad partners for each other, because we both are like, I have an idea. Let’s throw it out and see if it sticks. And when it sticks, we go, Oh, crap. We got. We gotta figure out how to make that work. Oh, no. So you can ask anybody. In my life, I’ve always been like that. And Renee and I are very opposite in that way, where I’m like, okay, I think I’m going to do this. And she’s like, But don’t you? You need something. Like you need to play. Nope, nope, Throw it. Yeah, that worked.

Amy Guest: [00:29:35] I feel that I get like, super crazy, like, thoughts and like, I need somebody to bring me. I get very excited and, like, this is going to work and it’s going to be amazing. And let’s like all of the things in Rene’s like, or.

Shanna Beavers: [00:29:47] What if we just.

Amy Guest: [00:29:49] You know, map it out like step by step and link? But that also makes sense.

Shanna Beavers: [00:29:56] But that’s fun though.

Amy Guest: [00:29:59] But it works.

Shanna Beavers: [00:30:00] It does work.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:30:01] But sometimes I need y’all’s personality. Both sides push me to do things that I might be too scared to do. So yeah, it’s.

Shanna Beavers: [00:30:11] A good balance.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:30:13] I mean, we’re here doing this right, like we’ve gotten this far and it’s a lot to do with.

Amy Guest: [00:30:17] It’s funny because then like the things that like I may be like, overly like crazy about or whatever are the things that you’re like, more conscious about and then like, reverse like then there’s like, this is like in your wheelhouse, like this. No fear for this. Like, this was like, totally fine for you. And this is like, I’m like, What? What are we doing? Yeah, What? It’s just like the dynamic of needing that balance.

Shanna Beavers: [00:30:41] Emily was the same way. I was like, We’re going to do a radio interview. And she was like, Really? Really? I was like, Come on, both of us. We need to go on. Okay.

Amy Guest: [00:30:52] Yeah.

Shanna Beavers: [00:30:53] So I’m sure she’s not feeling too terrible that she wasn’t able to make it today.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:30:57] She would have done great.

Shanna Beavers: [00:30:58] She would have done great. But yeah, it’s that’s one of those again, things that makes us good as partners is she thinks she likes going out and networking and stuff like that. And then she doesn’t she’s like, Hmm, no, it doesn’t feel like, yeah, you do that. I’m good.

Amy Guest: [00:31:11] Yeah. Muscle.

Shanna Beavers: [00:31:13] Yeah. I go to the thing.

Amy Guest: [00:31:15] It really does.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:31:16] But see, she’s grown so much.

Shanna Beavers: [00:31:17] You’ve grown so much. Amy I try.

Amy Guest: [00:31:22] Being this whole role model thing. I kind of have to.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:31:26] Here.we just did this. We did vision boards last week at the Ball Ground Business Club and, you know, I guess that can tie into the whole thing because people, I guess we started talking about it. They said, you know, is there anything from your vision board last year that didn’t happen and that kind of thing? And not that those are failures, but, you know, you had these goals that maybe you didn’t. Disappointments, disappointments, things like that.

Amy Guest: [00:31:50] On DeLay.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:31:51] That was interesting. But the fact that we were there and doing them, you know, making one for next year and in October, you know, and planning ahead and stuff. And I think that’s, you know, like I said, you can’t like she was saying Brené Brown was saying you can’t strategize yourself out of failure, but you can plan for the things.

Amy Guest: [00:32:08] That you’re going to.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:32:09] Try, you know, and and hope for the best, but then pivot or adapt and be flexible and pivot whatever you need to do when those things happen.

Shanna Beavers: [00:32:20] Speaking of Bernie Brown, if there’s one thing I could say that I would recommend to parents and I work on this with my husband and he’s been pretty good at being open to this concept because he was raised with a lot of shame. You shame the child into doing what you want the child to do. And I really struggle with that with my mother in law. And she doesn’t mean any harm. It’s just the way that that they were raised. But I think that if when our kids fail, if parents can take a step back and make sure that they’re removing the shame from the situation, the kids will develop better coping skills and they’ll come out of it a lot quicker. That I could do an entire other interview with you guys on Bernie Brown and Shame and Courage.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:33:06] It’s incredibly interesting.

Shanna Beavers: [00:33:07] Her work is amazing. It completely, fundamentally changed the way that I that I look at myself and the way I look at the world and how I view people when they make mistakes and that kind of thing. So, yeah, if you if you could figure out how to, you know, the guilt, making them feel guilty for having done something wrong and taking the shame out of failure, I think that that would really help make it less of a negative experience.

Amy Guest: [00:33:36] Yeah, absolutely. Just acknowledge it for what it is.

Shanna Beavers: [00:33:39] And it’s not from.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:33:40] The person.

Amy Guest: [00:33:41] Right? It’s not the person. It doesn’t define you. It’s just. It’s a moment in time and it is what it is. And now where we at kind of thing.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:33:48] What does it say? You can follow me. You have to. You just get up again. I think that’s where it makes a difference in. I think people, if you fail and you fall. People can cheer you on when you get up and move forward. That’s the you part.

Shanna Beavers: [00:34:05] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:34:05] What happened is right there, right? The you is you moving forward. And I think that can give you a sense of pride and take the shame out of it. Yeah. And separating it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:34:16] Well Lilly tried, Lilly went and did her evaluation and she got herself on a good team. And now she looks back at all of that and like, no offense to sideline or anything, but she kind of watches at the games and she’s like, No, I’m good. I’m in a much better place. You know, she’s her skills are, you know, significantly better than a lot. And she knows that she’s getting a lot more time and investment put in her. And she’s she’s like, yeah, okay, that turned out the way it should have turned out. That’s awesome.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:34:50] Did she did she figure that out? Did she start talking about that on her own or did you kind of point things out at all or do you?

Shanna Beavers: [00:34:57] She figured that out after we went to a game recently to go support her friends, you know? Yeah. And she sat back in the stands and was kind of watching and was like, you know, again, the girls are great. Like.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:35:11] You know what I mean? Yeah. But like.

Shanna Beavers: [00:35:12] She really puts it up.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:35:13] For her.

Shanna Beavers: [00:35:14] Far more hours of conditioning and training and blah, blah, blah. So it’s only natural for, you know. But yeah, it was, she’s watching it going. It’s just not the environment for me, you know.

Amy Guest: [00:35:25] And that makes sense. And the fact that she’s able to figure that out and see that, that’s that’s great. That’s what that means. She became like she overcame it essentially. That’s incredible resilience.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:35:37] Yes. Found the positive.

Shanna Beavers: [00:35:39] And I was very proud of her for I’ll never forget sitting in the car right before it was time to go in and four to do the evaluation. And she was just, mom, I hope I make it. I don’t I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t make it. That’s hard, you know. But she got out of that car and she went in. It meant enough to her, you know, to go out and do it. So. Yeah.

Amy Guest: [00:36:02] It’s so hard because you’re like, okay, you just want to be like, No, you don’t have to do anything that makes you sad. I know. Then the other side of you is like, Oh my God, make her do it. Yeah, she has to do it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:36:11] Go in there. Try out. Excuse me, Coach. Yeah? What do we need to do to make sure she gets on the team?

Renee Dierdorff: [00:36:18] I was reading something where it talks about failure Friday, and I think maybe we should embrace that.

Shanna Beavers: [00:36:24] Ooh, that sounds fine.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:36:26] You know where you can in a variety of ways. But Philly Friday, maybe you post on social media, it’s like, what? Did you fail it this week? Yes. And what did you learn from it? You know, then, you know, and then the.

Amy Guest: [00:36:38] Dinner was planned.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:36:40] And then I mean, but if you say it straight up like that, it’s like, wait, what? Like that kind of catches attention. And then you can also say at the dinner table.

Shanna Beavers: [00:36:47] And.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:36:48] Encourage your kids to talk about it and be open because we try to put conversation starters on our page to encourage conversation. Because if you get in the car after school or they come coming off the bus and you’re like, How is your day? Like at my oldest, she’s even said she’s like nobody. Like, you know, somebody says, How are you? No one really wants to know how you are. They’re just it’s just pleasant. It’s just they don’t want you to just all your baggage on the table. That’s not the expectation. So when you say it that way, when they get in the car, they’re like, It was fine. That’s why they say it. Because there’s no like if you let them decompress from the day and then in their own dinner dinnertime, even if it’s just driving to practice because you’re you’re eating in the car, it doesn’t have to be around the table. But those times in the car really matter. And if you that can be a thing that you talk about on Fridays, I wouldn’t want to do it every day because that’s like focusing too much on negative, but just finding things to learn.

Shanna Beavers: [00:37:38] That little short interview that we saw, that’s what she said her father did every day. She’d come home from school and he would be like, All right, so what’d you fail out today? And it was a very, like, energetic, positive, you know, celebration, celebration. And she said it just got to the point where it was like I was just able to look at mistakes I made and stuff throughout the day and not feel like it was the end of the world, you know, is a.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:01] Training.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:01] Exercise. Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:02] To look at the world differently.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:03] Instead of being like, Oh, honey, what’d you fail at today? It was more like, Okay, so what did you fail at today? Let’s talk about it, you know? Yeah, I mean, there’s no celebrate with an ice cream.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:13] Yeah. Shame can’t find its way in that.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:15] It can’t find its way in there.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:16] No, no I can’t. I like that.

Amy Guest: [00:38:18] It’s just reshaping the mindset.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:20] Yeah. Growth mindset. Yeah. Super important. I like.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:23] Failure Friday. Let’s do that.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:24] Yeah.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:24] Is it Friday yet? Because I’ve got something I can talk about.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:27] We can have some wine on the back porch and talk about failures. Woo! Sounds fantastic. That’s probably all I’m good for on Friday because I’m just so tired.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:34] Oh yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:38:37] We were just talking about like letting failure happen. Emphasize failing forward. Learning from your mistakes. Teaching a mindful approach. The link between mindfulness and resilience is very well documented. With practice, kids can learn to respond to strong feelings about failure rather than simply reacting, respond rather than react like that. That makes sense. I like.

Shanna Beavers: [00:38:59] That. Hmm.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:39:03] I was just looking at some other stuff that I had that I found the other day. And none of it is the same things that happen over and over again.

Shanna Beavers: [00:39:11] Yeah, well, there’s little bitty little ones, you know, fail to test today. You know, failed to get on the bus today. You’re going to different levels.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:39:24] There’s gratitude journals, Right. And then when you do a gratitude journal. You starts with the big things and then it gets harder and harder to come up with things that you’re grateful for. So the thing thing would be a failure. It’s hard to find a nitpick the things, but maybe sometimes it’s like you’ve just so become so accustomed to being adaptive. You didn’t even realize it anymore, that.

Shanna Beavers: [00:39:44] You’ve.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:39:45] Just coping. It was like survival mode, you know? And I know we went I was at the business club this morning and we were talking to the mayor of Canton, and we were kind of talking about, I guess he’s been in business since 89 and his ups and downs along the way. And I think a question was asked or, you know, are you always this optimistic, optimistic person or how do you deal with all this? And, you know, you talk about being optimistic and I think he just he’s like, I’ve just learned to be adaptable and, you know, that kind of thing. So I think that’s where that comes from is when you’re a small business owner, you do have to if you’re going to continue, you’re going to hit those things and you have to learn to be that way. Yeah. And they may just become more optimistic and less cynical over time.

Shanna Beavers: [00:40:31] Bronson asked them, Have you ever wanted to quit? And he was like, Yeah, like we all feel that way, But if I quit, then what am I going to do?

Amy Guest: [00:40:41] Yeah, then what?

Shanna Beavers: [00:40:42] You know, so we just have to adapt and move on, you know?

Renee Dierdorff: [00:40:45] He’s like, I’m not going back to the corporate world, you know, because he had been working for himself for so long. He’s like, No, thanks. So well and talk about celebrating their progress, too. So. Maybe with like the Expos, we always talk about the certain things that they’re doing to lead our workshops, help lead up to the Expos. And like when you did the one on sales pitch and stuff, but even going backwards like building their inventory. So I think maybe it would be good if we helped, like maybe maybe make a checklist of some kind or like a goal sheet where they can check off or have some fun way with stickers depending on their age or whatever, like. You’ve done this yet. Have you done, you know, like celebrate that you’ve finished your inventory or celebrate that you’ve done this and like along the way to encourage that progression?

Amy Guest: [00:41:35] Yeah, because those are still accomplishments. I mean, we don’t. Not only can you just, like, find a way to be resilient from the failures, but you still have to celebrate your accomplishments. You still have to maintain the positives in what you have done, not necessarily only finding it in what you didn’t do or what failed, but you also have to find it in what you actually have accomplished.

Shanna Beavers: [00:41:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s definitely important. It dawned on me just now that I used to ask when Lily would come home from school, I would ask her what went well and what didn’t go so well. You know, and she would have a hard time thinking like, what didn’t go so well. It was like she was uncomfortable talking about it.

Amy Guest: [00:42:17] Yeah. I always asked him, like, okay, so did we have a good day? And then I was like, Yeah. And I’m like, okay, well, what was bad about today? Or what was like boring or what was good and what wasn’t good, you know, just like trying to pull it out of her, like describe it in a different.

Shanna Beavers: [00:42:30] Way, getting them to talk about it. Lily’s Lily’s go to line is. I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t know.

Amy Guest: [00:42:35] I don’t remember.

Shanna Beavers: [00:42:36] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:42:37] I mean, like, I get it. Like you’re done with that part of your day. I get it sometimes, you know, But I try not to write. When they get off the bus, I try to let them decompress or whatever for. For a minute, because I know I need that. Need some space from it.

Amy Guest: [00:42:47] What was hard or did a subject go better or worse than you thought? Like just trying to.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:42:52] I’ll think I say to my nine year old, I’d be like, So what? What’s something that happened today that was awesome?

Shanna Beavers: [00:42:56] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:42:57] You know, like, or funny or whatever. And I know Laila. There’s a couple of class clowns. Well, actually, yesterday she came home with a bright orange piece of paper, and she was like, Well, thanks to the seventh graders, now we have to have a hall pass just to go to the bathroom. Oh, So what are they doing and what were they doing? She said like half the class was like loitering in the bathroom. Oh, my God. And I don’t want to tell you what she said, but she was being very negative.

Amy Guest: [00:43:19] No, not an eighth grade girl.

Shanna Beavers: [00:43:22] 13 year old.

Amy Guest: [00:43:23] That’s insane.

Shanna Beavers: [00:43:24] Yeah. Yeah.

Amy Guest: [00:43:26] And that’s.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:43:26] All I asked is.

Amy Guest: [00:43:28] So hard to battle that with. Trying to maintain the positive mindset and teach them that when they physically like, that’s just where they are emotionally and physically, that’s where their brain is. And so you have to be patient with that and trying to they’re not going to be positive 100% of the time. It’s just literally impossible for their brains at this point in life.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:43:53] We aren’t either.

Amy Guest: [00:43:54] Granted, but we can still, as an adult, we can turn it around and be like, I know it’s going to be okay for them. They don’t.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:01] Know.

Amy Guest: [00:44:02] I know it’s going to be okay.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:03] Remember that? Oh so well. I remember.

Amy Guest: [00:44:06] World could literally end. Yeah, because of what somebody said to them.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:10] Yeah. My mom would be like, okay, this isn’t that big of a deal. And I remember thinking, Do you not see the chaos? But I think that’s bad. The kids.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:44:20] When they say something like that, it can feel dismissive to the kids. So it’s like, how else can.

Amy Guest: [00:44:25] We I know.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:27] We know.

Amy Guest: [00:44:27] That. It’s like, okay, well, I mean, just like.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:44:31] You know, like saying like, don’t feel that feeling. Like I understand that.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:34] That.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:44:35] Feels that way right.

Amy Guest: [00:44:36] Now for now. But also in a few minutes when we’re over feeling that, let’s look at this or whatever. But explain that to a 13 year old tends to be the most challenging.

Shanna Beavers: [00:44:47] Yeah, I’m going to give it a few hours. No, Explaining it to my 46 year old husband is pretty challenging. Yeah, Lilly will do, you know, some kind of emotional, you know, lash out and the look like deer in the headlights. He’s just standing there like, what does that say? You know, he wants to say, stop it. There’s nothing to cry about. And I’m just like, okay, stop. You know, I remember this feeling. It’s not logical. Walk away, you know? Yeah.

Amy Guest: [00:45:12] Yeah, yeah. Always like that. Our husbands just, like, live in that logic based.

Shanna Beavers: [00:45:18] Constant Boys don’t feel like that. We don’t ever get like that.

Amy Guest: [00:45:21] Yeah, like, just. I always call my husband the dream killer because he’s the one that has to be realistic and logical. So, yeah, when you come at him with a 13 year old drama, he’s like, No, we’re going to not talk. Do that. You need to calm down. And it’s like, okay.

Shanna Beavers: [00:45:36] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:45:37] It’s like you come out of the wolf’s den. Good luck. See you later. Yeah. My my husband joked around. He’s like, when all that stuff goes on, you can. I’ll just go fishing. I’ll see you later. You know, he knows he just needs to remove himself. But yeah. So all of our husbands are girl dads and bless them.

Shanna Beavers: [00:45:52] Yeah, no kidding.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:45:53] And our husbands. So bless them.

Shanna Beavers: [00:45:54] Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:45:55] They’re very patient with us. And, you know, they’re all really good dads, and all of our daughters are very lucky to have them.

Shanna Beavers: [00:46:00] I completely agree.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:46:02] For sure, because they care a lot.

Amy Guest: [00:46:04] But they do offer that different perspective that they do that does help bring them down to earth when necessary.

Shanna Beavers: [00:46:12] The stable.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:46:13] Thing that.

Amy Guest: [00:46:14] They need, I mean, they need that. Everybody needs that. Not just just in general. Like you need both sides of the coin, right? Yeah. You have to find. Yeah, good and bad, stable and dreams and chaos and also consistency. Like you got to find the balance.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:46:28] And when we were talking earlier about trying to take a subject, but. We tell them we have them sit in it for a minute, you know, sit in and think and learn or whatever, sit and suck. And then it may not be that same day, but maybe whenever it’s appropriate, go back and say, well, what did we learn from that? Kind of come full circle with it and wrap it up because I know you like with her catching the flier, you guys had the opportunity to do that and then she’s even still learning from it. But being able to have them see the big picture, see it come full circle is really important with anything but specifically that because it kind of reiterates the fact that it’s okay to talk about it and it’s completely normal and human. You know it’s going to happen and. Have them remember that they’ve overcome that. Right. And what they learn from it.

Amy Guest: [00:47:19] And I think them learning different levels of quote unquote, failures. Right, is important. Like I know for one of my kids who can have panic attacks and anxiety about a lot of things, she gets caught up in her head and it becomes like a snowball of emotion and and then it becomes a snowball of shame on herself because she hates that she’s causing distress. She thinks to me or to anybody else that’s having to deal with her not being able to solve her own problem. So just trying to I’ve had to learn a lot about helping her understand and empower her feelings and different levels of failure or what she sees as failures and what don’t define her. And that’s where I got that term, like sitting in the SOC, like from therapy, teaching you that it’s okay. You can just because you’re feeling like this or things look like this or you’re overwhelmed, it doesn’t make you wrong or bad or different. If this is how your brain wants to comprehend the situation, then we’re going to let it for a minute and then we’re going to figure out within ourselves how to pull us out of it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:48:34] Yeah, I think it’s important to sit in the SOC. It’s like the grieving process. You can’t skip the grieving process. And if you try to skip the grieving process, it’s going to come back to you later. It’s true and it’s going to be much worse.

Amy Guest: [00:48:45] So manifest.

Shanna Beavers: [00:48:46] Yeah. So it’s, you know, I guess in a way, failing does have its own grieving process. So just letting your kid take that that night or that 24 hours and just sit in it and then, you know, give them an opportunity to get it out and then be there to be the person that’s like, okay, now that we’ve done that, what are we going to do differently? You know, how are we going to get up and do it again?

Amy Guest: [00:49:10] Yeah, because you’re there safe space to help them when they fall. You’re not going to stop them from falling. You just are there for them when it happens and they need somebody to lean on.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:49:19] Have you seen Inside Out?

Shanna Beavers: [00:49:22] Yes.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:49:23] So they need a character for. I don’t know. Shame, character, failure, character. I don’t know because they have sadness. And the whole point of the movie is you learn that you can’t be happy all the time. You have to have the sadness to.

Shanna Beavers: [00:49:36] Appreciate the happy.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:49:37] The happy. So it’s just and how at the end there were more islands, more her personality grew out of that experience, right? So I thought that movie was brilliant and very creative. That’s what blew me away. I was like, Who thought of it? You know? It was.

Shanna Beavers: [00:49:51] Just the way it was That.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:49:52] To kids. Yes. Yeah, I think it’s fantastic. But another thing you were talking about was. Coming back to them later. I was listening to something on the way this morning to the business club where I think when we get older kids, when your kids get older and they come to you with a problem or something they think they failed at or whatever. Letting them just talk to us and then just say or do do you want are you looking for my advice or you’re just looking to vent?

Amy Guest: [00:50:22] Yeah, listening, actually, just listening.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:50:24] Just listen sometimes and not try to fix and stuff like that because that’s super important to.

Shanna Beavers: [00:50:29] That’s the hardest.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:50:30] Part. Ask them what they want, but ask them what they’re looking for. Right? Right. Because that you’re not talking at them at that point. And I think if you develop that now, they’ll be more likely to come to you in the future for when they have problems and stuff because they know that you’re not just going to try to fix it or you’re not going to just do this every single time, like you actually care what they have to think about or what they have to say about it and are willing to take the time to walk you through that process like the grieving part, you know, whatever it is to get to the solution instead of just trying to quickly move on from it.

Shanna Beavers: [00:51:00] Right.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:51:01] Because, you know, feeling dismissed is not that brings shame. You makes you feel bad about even feeling bad. You know, that you failed or whatever it is, It just.

Amy Guest: [00:51:10] Becomes a cycle.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:51:11] Yeah, it’s just awful.

Shanna Beavers: [00:51:12] When somebody jumps straight into the solution, it’s like, Oh, I didn’t hear anything. I just said, Yeah, there you had.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:51:18] Yeah, yeah. And I’m not there yet. Yeah, that’s super important. Do you guys have anything else you want to wrap up and say about the topic?

Amy Guest: [00:51:25] I think we covered a lot our.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:51:28] Whole TED talk on.

Amy Guest: [00:51:29] There’s just so many different avenues and you almost feel like you’re saying the same thing over and over again. Just, you know, at the same time, essentially. Not to say that I don’t know, but you can you just have to remember there’s different levels and it relates. It all relates and it just it is kind of a cycle in a circle. But anyway.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:51:48] Yeah, I mean, the topic was redefining it for kids and I think it comes back to we have to redefine it for ourselves.

Amy Guest: [00:51:55] First. Well, yeah, that’s the only way that you can be a role model if you can act out what you’re saying and actually believe what you’re saying.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:52:03] Yeah, target practice.

Amy Guest: [00:52:04] Harder, more. I think for us to believe what we’re saying than to actually show it. Yeah.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:52:09] I mean, together. I know I’ve told this to Layla before. I said, you know, I’ve never had a 13 year old before. I’m learning how to parent you at the same time you’re learning how to be 13. Oh, yeah. You know, just trying to get her to understand that I’m a person we’re all trying to learn, just like you are. So, you know, giving each other some grace sometimes goes a long way and understanding each other for sure. And sometimes it’s better. Just take a step back. Give each other a second. Well, I can I’ll just wrap it up by saying that if you need your house cleaned, I can tell you you have.

Amy Guest: [00:52:41] Failed at cleaning your.

Shanna Beavers: [00:52:43] House.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:52:43] That’s right.

Amy Guest: [00:52:44] That’s right. And you would need assistance.

Shanna Beavers: [00:52:46] And we won’t shame you in any way. No, they will not.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:52:49] Tired speak from experience. They will do a fantastic job. So, Shana, if you want to let everybody know how they can reach out to you guys.

Shanna Beavers: [00:52:56] Yes. So you can find us on Facebook. Off your plate, ATL. You can also email us at info at Off Your Plate ATL and check out our website. On the website, you there’s there’s a form that we’ll have you fill out that’ll give us the information we need to give you a quote.

Amy Guest: [00:53:12] Awesome. And you do residential and commercial.

Shanna Beavers: [00:53:14] Yeah, we do both.

Amy Guest: [00:53:16] Perfect.

Renee Dierdorff: [00:53:17] Thank you for being here and having this wonderful conversation with us and sharing all of your thoughts.

Amy Guest: [00:53:22] And I would like to say that you are the queen of courage, of trying not failure you. So we’ll go with that 100%.

Shanna Beavers: [00:53:30] Thank you. Thank you.