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Inspiring Women, Episode 10: Leadership Without a Title (An Interview with Janet Smith Meeks, Part 2)

June 3, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 10: Leadership Without a Title (An Interview with Janet Smith Meeks, Part 2)
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Janet Smith Meeks with Betty Collins, Host of “Inspiring Women”

Betty’s Show Notes

Leading without a title: it’s tough, it’s risky, it’s not always as efficient as leading with a title. And sometimes you feel like you’re running uphill because you’re often seen as having no authority. But leadership goes beyond the CEO or the shareholder or owner, but they are not the only person in the organization who matters.

And even though I have a title now, I still lead without a title. It takes trust. People want to follow you when they can trust you. Trust is earned and developed over time, it’s not easy, and it requires a focus on helping, serving, consistency, and a genuine concern for the job and the people you are responsible for. It takes a lot of time and effort to build all that and to learn to look for opportunity.

Join me as I talk with Janet Smith Meeks about this other type of leadership in part two of our two-part interview.

Janet Smith Meeks, Healthcare Alignment Advisors

Janet Smith Meeks

Janet Smith Meeks has devoted nearly four decades of her professional life to the healthcare and financial services industries. As a C-suite executive and corporate director, she has vast experience in finance, strategy, operations, marketing, business development and leadership effectiveness.

Janet has served in executive roles for four nationally known healthcare systems, including Trinity Health (the second largest Catholic Healthcare system in the nation) and the prestigious Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Janet spent nine years as president of Mount Carmel St. Ann’s Hospital in Westerville, Ohio where she led the organization to peak performance through applying the key ingredients of Gracious Leadership.

As co-founder and CEO of Healthcare Alignment Advisors, Janet uses her experience to guide C-suite executives across multiple industries in strategies that are designed to optimize corporate performance within a positive work environment.

Janet is the author of Gracious Leadership: Lead Like You’ve Never Led Before.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

Betty Collins, CPA, Host of “Inspiring Women”

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty: [00:00:28] Leading, it doesn’t take a title. Leadership is such a hot topic in today’s world. We have tremendous amounts of leadership areas – between our homes, our businesses, at school, the community, and, dare I say, politics. People are looking for leaders.

Betty: [00:00:47] Leadership, to me, is simple. It’s pure influence. You don’t have to have a title to do that. Sometimes, the title obviously makes it easier. It’s why I’m doing a podcast about this topic. This is part two on leading. Today, we’re going to talk about leading, no title needed.

Betty: [00:01:07] I just want to give you a quick summary of my last podcast, in case you didn’t get to listen to it; I would challenge you to listen to it. Really, we talked about leadership being influence. It starts with you.

Betty: [00:01:18] You have to own when you lead. Your mindset has to be open to many types of different change, and circumstances; you have to be willing to look at things totally different sometimes. The most important thing is you’ve got to show up every day when you lead. Yesterday is over.

Betty: [00:01:36] Be responsible with your time. We also talked a lot about that. When you do finally get to have a title where you can influence, be responsible. Make sure you’re using it for the good. Then we ended with Janet Meeks. She’s the author of “Gracious Leadership.” You will really love her interview today. You’re going to just really get into it.

Betty: [00:01:55] Leading without a title, it can be really tough. It’s risky. It’s not as efficient, sometimes. You feel like you’re running uphill. You are perceived, really, as having no authority. It takes a lot of depth of commitment. Leadership goes beyond the CEO. It goes be beyond the shareholder, or the owner. They are necessary, by all means. We have to have somebody there, but they’re not the only people in the organization that lead.

Betty: [00:02:24] Many years ago, I was not the owner. This was before I was the owner. I was the employee, and I absolutely led without a title. It frustrated some of the owners within that organization, because I was treated like an owner by my peers. I had the respect, and it paid off for me. Even today, as the owner, there are times I still lead from behind, without the title. Then, eventually, I had a lot of reward because of that hard work. I get to lead my office. I serve on the board of directors. I direct a women’s initiative at Brady Ware.

Betty: [00:03:02] I didn’t always have the titles, but I have them now. I guarantee you, I’m still leading without a title. What does it take to do that? Well, it takes trust. If you’re going to lead without a title, it will take trust. It’s the simple truth. People simply want to follow you, when they can trust you. Trust is earned, and it’s developed over time, and it is not easy.

Betty: [00:03:27] To be trusted, there’s just some real minimums. You have things that you have to do to be trusted. First, you have to do what you say you’re going to do. If you say it, then you better do it. You have to focus on helping, and serving. You certainly have to be consistent. Nobody likes a leader who is not consistent, and they never know where they’re coming from. You have to genuinely care about the people, and what it is you’re doing.

Betty: [00:03:56] Who do you trust in life, right now, and why? Is that you? Do you act that way?  Believe me, it takes a lot of time and effort to build that. Never underestimate that. When you’re leading without a title, trust is the core to what you’re doing. It also takes a lot of patience to lead without a title.

Betty: [00:04:15] I came across a really great quote from [00:04:18] Robin S. Sharma. I [00:04:22] like this visual that he kind of gives. “I want you to think about a farmer in a field, totally barren; acres and acres of it. Then I want you to picture it totally, totally full of beautiful high, growing, green corn stalks. Think of those two pictures. All it is is that the farmer has patience, and he trusts the process. He just has the faith, and the deep understanding that through daily efforts, the harvest is going to come. Then, one day, almost out of nowhere, there it is, and you have this field full of good, really good corn to pick.” Let’s take that quote to your world. Patience, trusting your process, and knowing that through daily effort, the harvest is going to come.

Betty: [00:05:15] For the listener today who is the leader with the title, start thinking about those leaders in your company that don’t have a title. You know who they knowledge, and hopefully you’ll do something about it. In order to lead without a title – trust, patience … You have to be the solution, and not the victim. You have to look for the opportunity, if morale is down, culture’s tanked, piles of work are overwhelming, turnovers keep happening … The employee from hell sits next to you. In fact, if you were the title- had the title of HR Director, you would probably ask them to be alumni, the first day you were on. Clients expect way too much. Some of the clients owners think are great, and they’re really not. They should also become alumni. Does this sound familiar to you? By the way, every business, every organization has these issues.

Betty: [00:06:06] The difference is how those who lead handle it, title or not. Be the solution, and not the victim, and look for that opportunity. When people are negative, be positive. When the work piles are high, figure out how to prioritize them. Look for opportunity. You’ve got to observe your surroundings to see that opportunity, so that you – you – can save the day.

Betty: [00:06:31] Here’s a quote I found: “Sometimes, saving the day is pretty uncomfortable.  Sometimes, being the leader without the title, when there’s a titled person right next to you, isn’t real comfortable, but the more you leave your comfort zone, the bigger your comfort zone becomes”

Betty: [00:06:46] In order to lead without a title, you have to have the mindset of a leader. Remember, great leaders talk about vision and ideas, not others. Having that mindset, when you’re leading without a title, of a true leader – it’s a choice every day. You have to choose to be your best. If you really believe what you’re doing matters, and if you really have purpose, and a vision of the future, then that choice is easier.

Betty: [00:07:13] Those are key things that you have to have. [00:07:16] You have to truly … It matters in a vision. [00:07:18] I really have that in my life. I really believe in the marketplace, the business world, the economy, and that accounting has a role to play in that. The success of the marketplace then ensures that the employees that work there have provision for their households; those households, or communities in which we work, and all play, so it matters what I do. It matters what my peers do. That’s a key component, when you want to make the choice to be the best every day. Then I have a vision of what that marketplace can look like, and you’ve got to be able to perceive, or show that, and influence those around you.

Betty: [00:07:56] To be a leader without a title, it takes ability. You’ve got to be able to create value. It’s what leaders do, title or nothing. There’s nothing worse than being busy at something, and working hard for really very little value. Let me put it to you this way, why would you paint a car, overhaul its entire interior, put a new stereo system in, if there wasn’t an engine in the car? The car really has no value, and everything you’re doing around it has no value. Doesn’t matter that it’s got cleaned-up paint look, right? If you can’t create value, you probably should walk away from the organization you work for, or volunteer for.

Betty: [00:08:39] If you aren’t perceived as value, maybe you should consider that, or you create the value, and you seize the opportunity. If you’re so good that they can’t ignore you … If they do, maybe they need to- maybe you need to reconsider things, but if you’re so good that they can’t ignore you, that influence will continue to go on, and you will lead, because you’re not just good; you’re probably really great at what you do. Take time to make sure that your game is not just good, but great, and add that value.

Betty: [00:09:11] Leaving without a title, you’ve got to put people first. My team is led by my tax manager, Loranί, who decided for ’19 that our mission and tagline would be, “People, purpose, and process.” Accounting is not exactly real motivating – spreadsheets, software, the new rules, the new laws – but the people it affects, and the process, how it gets done, can be inspiring, because you can see, again, what we do matters. The people getting it done, and the process, then, to get it done is crucial.

Betty: [00:09:47] You’ve got to give credit where credit is due. There is nothing like a leader who takes all the glory. You know who those are. Most importantly about it, don’t get trapped into the mindset that you give up your influence as that leader without a title, because you just don’t think you have any. Putting people first – huge, huge deal.

Betty: [00:10:12] I searched the internet to find examples of leaders that were behind the scenes. There’s plenty of them, but the one that really caught my eye was a janitor of a school, middle school, at that, with about 900 kids. Imagine the mess every day. The janitor, Mr. Eugene, as the students called him, was given a standing ovation by the kids, and the teachers of the school for his service; service of a thankless job.

Betty: [00:10:38] He did it with such grace. He did it by greeting kids every morning, by high five, by bumping the fist; always smiling, and not complaining. If a mess needed cleaned up, he just did it. He accepted this award so humbly. I cannot imagine those kids, as I watched them stand and cheer him on, and high five with him, I cannot imagine that they will never not stop talking about Mr. Eugene in their middle school. He was the janitor. This is how he conducted his life.

Betty: [00:11:12] I end with this thought: become the leader you want. You may just be surprised at the results, not just on your professional life, but on your personal life, as well. Never get trapped up in thinking you can’t lead without a title, and have influence. Leading with a title – use it responsibly. Leading without a title – it takes courage, and perseverance, which can result in such fulfillment, and reward.

Betty: [00:11:41] The last podcast, I interviewed Janet Meeks, who is the author of “Gracious Leadership.” You want to stay tuned for another interview with her. It’s really going to be good. It’s going to blow you away.

Betty: [00:11:51] Today we’ve been talking about leadership without a title. It’s my privilege today to have someone who truly is an amazing leader. Janet Smith Meeks has devoted nearly four decades of her professional life to healthcare, and financial-services industries. She is an amazing executive, and director, and she wrote a really, really great book, “Gracious Leadership: Lead Like You’ve Never Led Before.” I’ve read this book. and it really is just impactful with such simple things. It’s amazing what the power of those simple things can create in leadership.

Betty: [00:12:26] I’m just so thrilled to have you here today, Janet. We’re going to just talk a little bit about leadership from your perspective. Leaders without a title – the podcast is a tougher one, because leading without a title can be harder. Really, to me, leadership is influence. Janet, I’ve got a couple of questions about leading without a title. Leaders without a title, obviously, must lead through influence. Would you share an example of how you led through influence earlier in your career, when you didn’t have the C-suite title?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:13:01] Absolutely, Betty. For the overwhelming majority of my career, I was not in a line function with a lot of employees. I was in a staff function, such as leading strategic planning, or marketing, where I definitely had employees, but I didn’t have the 1,900 employees that I was blessed to follow when I was at St. Anne’s.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:13:23] You take me back to my early days at my first employer, which was Bank of Mississippi, now BancorpSouth. I was a management trainee, and then immediately after that was named the administrative officer, and was an assistant for Mr. Patterson.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:13:42] Mr. Patterson asked me if I would coordinate the bank’s responsibility associated with a 10k run call the Gumtree Run. It had about 2,000 runners. That may not sound like a big responsibility, but to a 24-year-old kid, it was a big deal.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:14:03] It was important, because it was my responsibility to make sure that we had every intersection covered with a guard, who was trained to know when to be there, what to do, when they can leave. I was barely known in the bank, but I had to start building relationships with people, getting to know them, being kind in my conversations with them, which, by the way, was the only way I knew how to be, but, then, asking them for their help.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:14:32] We did that. We were able to successfully staff this race for several years without incident. The main thing, after the event was over, was taking time to celebrate, and to thank them, and to give those volunteers the credit for the great work they had done. Yes, I had organized it – Mr. Patterson knew that – but we wanted to give to the praise to the people who were on the front line, really making it matter.

Betty: [00:14:59] That’s one of the key things is giving the right people the right credit. A bad leader takes all the credit, when they really-

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:15:07] Always.

Betty: [00:15:08] -when you’re only as good as your team.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:15:09] The bad leader takes the credit when things go well. When they don’t go well, they point the fingers at others.

Betty: [00:15:16] Right. You led a large hospital for almost a decade. Please share some examples of the employees who led without that title.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:15:26] I think of two or three examples. First of all, let’s talk about environmental-services employees, where they all have exactly the same title; maybe they’re an Environmental Tech I. Even within a group of 10 or 20 housekeepers, leaders will emerge. They can emerge either as naysayers, who are going to want to take the group into a dark place, or they can emerge as positive forces that can help to unify the team, and provide value to the organization.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:16:03] It happened every time, and thankfully, most of the leaders that we had, the informal leaders, wanted to help. What I see that they do is that if a manager needs some extra work to be done, a good leader without a title would raise his or her hand and say, “I want to do it.” A good leader without a title, if some negative information was being spread, would choose to take a positive stance, and to help his or her colleagues see the reality of what is being discussed; not to immediately go to a place of negativity.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:16:44] Nurses … We have lots of front-line nurses, but it’s within the ranks of those nurses that the clinical manager, or the charge nurse will emerge. How we identify the next rising leader within nursing would be to see who, from our front-line nurses, has asked to have stretch assignments; has gone above and beyond the call of duty; has been a positive influence in conversations with his or her colleagues.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:17:17] I think it’s really important for people without a title to really think of it this way: “I don’t have a title yet, but how I show up, and the work that I’m doing every day can actually position me well to have that title that I would want to have one of these days.”

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:17:38] Then, really, there’s a third category that I would like to mention, because I think all too often people miss out on the power of the individuals in these positions. Those are the executive assistants to the C-suite leaders. Although they might not have a title that has the word chief in it, like Chief Executive Officer, the Executive Assistants command a lot of control within organizations. They are the gatekeepers to the executives. They know what’s going on. I would say it’s always a wise thing to befriend the Executive Assistants within any organization. They’re very important people.

Betty: [00:18:21] Good advice. Great advice, in fact. Well, our last podcast, you shared some lessons of leadership that you learned outside of your workplace. Can you talk about any examples where leaders outside of that workplace, they didn’t have that fancy title, but they had a maximum impact?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:18:38] I think of a couple of examples, Betty. One takes me all the way back to kindergarten, where one of the teachers, Mr. E.O. White, a very precious man, sat with me at the table. I was writing my “N”s backwards. Instead of telling me, “You’re doing that incorrectly,” he sat down with me, and guided my hand, and showed me how to write the “N” the right way.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:19:09] That really struck me, and I have held on to that moment, that memory, forever, because it helped me to understand that instead of telling our employees what you’re doing wrong, it’s our responsibility to show them what they need to do to get it right.

Betty: [00:19:28] Very good.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:19:29] That was really impactful at the age of four, or five. Then, probably not surprising to you, the other two individuals who, outside the workplace, have had the most impact on my life are my parents. I shared a bit last week about my father, and the stance that he took, and the courage that he displayed in the midst of the 1960s.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:19:51] Another comment about my father: he was a very busy attorney, and would be all over the country representing his clients, but I don’t ever remember a single time when he missed one of my basketball games. That meant a lot to me. It showed me he cared, and it showed me how much, frankly, that he loved me. He was also the first person, after the game was over, who wanted to go home, and debrief every play of the game.

Betty: [00:20:18] Sure.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:20:19] My mother, in a slightly different way. She never graduated college. She did attend college, but she was a bank teller, and she was very much a community volunteer. She was the president of the PTA. It was my mother, who role-modeled kindness, consideration, and thoughtfulness that has really helped to shape and form me into the person that I am today. I really think, at the end of the day, that although they don’t have titles, per se, as we would view them in the workplace, there probably is no more important title than mother, or father.

Betty: [00:20:57] Right. That influence is so needed in your life, as a child; as an adult child, it still is. In corporate America, of course, we always hear it’s better with  more, or with less. What can leaders do without a title to create more value to the organization, and also to grow professionally?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:21:15] I think there’s a ton of potential for leaders without a title to grow professionally, and to add more value to the organizations. I mentioned earlier that they need to ask for stretch assignments. I don’t know why it is that we are so timid about volunteering to do something that we’ve never done before, other than the fear of failure.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:21:39] I think in organizations where they view failures as learning opportunities, and I’ve heard it said, “If you’re gonna fail, fail fast, and then get up, and go again,” but to take on stretch assignments, and to do them well; then to make it clear to your supervisor that, “I really enjoyed this. I’m so glad you were pleased with the results. Please keep me in mind if you have other stretch assignments …”  That truly can pave the way for a potential promotion at some point in time.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:22:10] Then, I think that being a positive force among your co-workers is always going to be extremely valuable, because it helps you to establish your personal brand. You want the leaders of the organization to see you as an optimistic positive can-do person, as opposed to potentially being categorized as a naysayer, or a complainer. Very, very important. I think it’s important that we realize the less time we spend complaining, the more time we have to add value to the organization.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:22:44] Then, lastly, I think that, as a leader without a title, it’s really important for you to have the courage that if you see a concern, or a problem that, rather than grousing about it with your peers, with your colleagues, have the courage to go forward, and share that legitimate concern with your supervisor. I believe that when leaders are so open, and welcoming to hearing complaints, and viewing them as gifts, or opportunities to serve that we can have more transparency within organizations, and perform at a higher level.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:23:23] I think it’s important for employees to understand that we, as leaders, can only fix what we know is broken. If we don’t know about a problem, then, to us, it may not exist. I think that having that courage to speak up is really important.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:23:39] Then, I think that, in summary, you just need to prove your value to your organization by doing what you do in the best manner possible, every day. Then, look for opportunities to become empowered as your leaders trust you. Ask for more opportunity, and then that will give you the potential to be all that you were created to be, and hopefully, to have a promotion down the road.

Betty: [00:24:06] Well, Janet, it has been such a pleasure asking you questions, and just hearing your perspective on leadership, whether there’s a title or not. It’s why I think your book, “Gracious Leadership,” is having success. It’s no doubt that you’ve led like you’ve never led before, and you’ll continue to lead like you’ve never led before. It’s just who you are. We are grateful today for your time, and we would love to direct people to your website. What would that be?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:24:33] The website is www.GraciousLeadershipbook.com. I do invite you to go to the website, scroll down to the bottom of any page, and sign up for the free Gracious Leader blog. By the way, I just learned that the book is now in 44 states across our nation-

Betty: [00:24:54] Very nice.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:24:54] -so, it’s continuing to have a big impact, and, for that, I have been extraordinarily humbled.

Betty: [00:25:00] Well, we are glad that you had this passion, and you have lived it out, because we are in a time where we really need leadership; that’s for sure. Thank you, again, and have a great day everyone.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, gracious leadership, Healthcare Alignment Advisors, healthcare leadership, influence, influencer, Inspiring Women, Leadership, leadership attributes, leadership examples, leadership insights, leadership without a title, patience, trust, trusted leadership, trusting the process

Inspiring Women, Episode 9: Leadership With a Title (An Interview with Janet Smith Meeks, Part 1)

June 3, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 9: Leadership With a Title (An Interview with Janet Smith Meeks, Part 1)
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Janet Smith Meeks with Betty Collins, Host of “Inspiring Women”

Betty’s Show Notes

Everywhere today you see people are looking for great leadership. When you’re a leader, you can influence. You can change your world around you. You can impact people in your life and organizations. You can be part of success because of your leadership and influence. And you can use that title responsibly for yourself as well as for others.

Leadership, influence, AND the title are all one package deal.

One of the people who I love, I’ve heard speak, and read her book on leadership, is Janet Smith Meeks. She is so passionate about how we can lead. She wrote a book called Gracious Leadership. You should check it out. It’s really good. She lives it. She wants to change the world for the good. She’s a leader because she influences those around her.

And I’m am so thrilled to have interviewed her for this episode. This episode is part one of my two part interview with her.

Janet Smith Meeks, Healthcare Alignment Advisors

Janet Smith Meeks

Janet Smith Meeks has devoted nearly four decades of her professional life to the healthcare and financial services industries. As a C-suite executive and corporate director, she has vast experience in finance, strategy, operations, marketing, business development and leadership effectiveness.

Janet has served in executive roles for four nationally known healthcare systems, including Trinity Health (the second largest Catholic Healthcare system in the nation) and the prestigious Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Janet spent nine years as president of Mount Carmel St. Ann’s Hospital in Westerville, Ohio where she led the organization to peak performance through applying the key ingredients of Gracious Leadership.

As co-founder and CEO of Healthcare Alignment Advisors, Janet uses her experience to guide C-suite executives across multiple industries in strategies that are designed to optimize corporate performance within a positive work environment.

Janet is the author of Gracious Leadership: Lead Like You’ve Never Led Before.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty : [00:00:00] Leadership, it takes more than a title. This podcast, along with a million other podcasts, is about leadership because it’s just a really hot topic. It’s something that is so needed everywhere. Leadership takes more than a title. Maybe you’re fortunate enough to have that title in your life …

Betty : [00:00:20] Everywhere today, you see people are looking for great leadership. It can be in your home, your business, nonprofits you volunteer for. It can be politically, for sure, schools, education, et cetera, et cetera. Just great leadership is needed. Great leadership, to me, it engages, and influences the followers to just develop, be better … It’s all positive. Again, you don’t have to have that title to be an effective leader, but that is for part two of this series.

Betty : [00:00:53] Are you a leader with a title? Maybe you’re striving to become that leader, and get the promotion, and the title, and all the perks/headaches that go with it. Maybe you’re frustrated, as a leader, and you’re just not getting that engagement. You’re just not influencing. Maybe you’re striving to get a promotion, and you continue to be overlooked. Maybe you’re also just looking for a good leader, someone that you can follow.

Betty : [00:01:19] I just want to take all of those scenarios, and I want to share you my insights today on leadership. I’ve led, and I’ve followed, and I’ve done both at the same time; we all have, but it’s more than that title, and that perk. When you’re a leader, you can influence. You can change your world around you. You can impact people in your life, and organizations. You can be part of success, because of your leadership, and influence, and you can use that title responsibly, for yourself, as well as others.

Betty : [00:01:49] Leadership, it gives you more than a title. It gives you a authority, it gives you that … You can lead organizations, and people. It’s guidance, it’s directions, it’s even control, which we, of course, all like. It’s about being intentional. It’s really about engagement. To me, at the end of the day, leadership is nothing more than influencing. It’s why you don’t have to have that title, but again, that’s for part two of this podcast.

Betty : [00:02:16] Think about who’s been an exceptional leader in your life – any part of it, any area of it, any age. Who led, and you followed? Who’s come into your mind right now, because I’m sure there’s people in your life that you’re thinking about? Who also was that leader with the title, who really had a negative impact, and you never want to be that person?

Betty : [00:02:40] I’ve been fortunate enough to have great leadership all around me, and I’ve experienced, I’ll call it, the dark side, as well. I’m going to start with those people we have in our lives that have influenced us, but they’re from afar, right? You’ve never met them.

Betty : [00:02:57] One of those influencers, for me, back in the young age, as I was getting out of college, was President Ronald Reagan. I never met him. We never had coffee. He never had me come to the White House. By the way, this is not a political podcast; I want you to know that … He influenced those around him, and you could see it.

Betty : [00:03:16] I recently watched a documentary of his first big meeting with international leaders. They knew his title. They knew what his job was, but they really didn’t have much to say to him. He wasn’t really respected that day. In fact, he remembers leaning over, looking at people going, “Hey, I’m Ron,” and they still just … There was no connection. There was no engagement. He certainly left there with no influence.

Betty : [00:03:42] The next time he met, the next time – again, they knew his job, and they knew his title – but it was different, because this time, he didn’t have to say who he was. He didn’t have to introduce himself. He was the focus. It was all completely different, because he had gained tremendous respect because of the success, and results he was having as the president, and it was just different,  and he was an influencer.

Betty : [00:04:10] Of course, we always like presidents, once they’re out of office, but, why did I like him? He was optimistic. He always used humor. He was respectful, but he was a driver of the agenda of the day. That agenda, for him, was conservatism, and it was the American people. He also had a lot of … He was a Conservative, but he was respected by many Liberals, and it was a very united country at that time, with a lot of success. I think of him today, and I still watch things about him … You just feel better.

Betty : [00:04:41] You all have those people in your life that you look, from a distance, and from afar, but really, what I want to focus on is who has been around me. Most of my career, of course, has been focused in business, as a CPA, and I had … I had one major job outside of accounting. I worked in food service. I was the Director of Food Service for a college campus.

Betty : [00:05:03] I worked for a man by the name of Austin Swallow. He influences me to this day. I haven’t seen him probably in 10 years. He influences me because his very core was what drove everything. That was his faith, and his ethics, and what he believed. There was never any compromise for that. He didn’t beat it on you. He didn’t shout it from the mountain top. He did none of those things. He just lived it, and you knew it was there. Family was more important to him because he always emphasized – those moments never come back.

Betty : [00:05:33] In business, we had a hard job feeding college kids food, where you had to make it for a thousand, so it was never real rewarding. When it was hard, you stayed the course. If you didn’t do your job, you owned it, and you always took whatever it is for that customer.

Betty : [00:05:46] He lost a big account, and he knew for a while that it was going to end, but he still led. He did his job, he fulfilled his obligation. He finished to the end with pride, and walked away that day, already knowing, for about 60 days, he had been fired. He never had any regrets about it. He let me fail. He did those type of things.

Betty : [00:06:07] I was in a company, where I was the only woman. There were about 30 people, totally, in the company. He made sure I developed, and had success, and I climbed the ladder there very quickly at a very young age. He valued his employees. He had a lot of loyalty because of it. He always talked to me about executive presence. He always would say, “If you want to be taken seriously, you gotta act accordingly.” Those four years of working with him, as a leader, watching him, influenced me in these last 30.

Betty : [00:06:35] I’ve also seen the dark side, but I don’t want to focus on that today. I really want to focus on the good side.  Which are you? Which do you want to be? Who is influencing you right now? Is it good? Is it positive? Who are you influencing right now? Is it good, and is it positive?

Betty : [00:06:53] Leadership, it starts with you. It absolutely starts with you. Here’s a great thing I came across. I don’t know where I found this, I just have it in my notes, and I’m not sure what I got it from, but it’s really good. “Great leaders talk about vision, and ideas. Average leaders talk about things, and small leaders talk about others.” Then, “Those who lead them talk with them, and they all join in, and they tell others.” Three very different … Great, average, and small.

Betty : [00:07:23] Take it a step further. What positive qualities of leadership do you appreciate? Are you doing that? In what ways are you a leader? Who has been the leader with the title that influenced you the most, and why? I would challenge you, after this podcast, or think about that, as you’re struggling through leading, or you’re struggling with a leader, or you want to be a better one.

Betty : [00:07:42] You got to think differently. Mindset, you’ve got to have that in all roles, and positions in your organization, or your family, or at the school board. It doesn’t matter. They’re all important, and they serve a reason. You have a mindset that thinks differently when you’re a good leader.

Betty : [00:07:58] True leaders do not create more followers. It’s kind of easier to have followers than it is to create more leaders. If you’re really good in your job, in your career, in your company, you will have it. You will have a legacy one day, because you created leaders to come behind you. If you’re fortunate enough to get at the top, then you have you have an obligation to send the elevator down. Not my statement, but it’s a good one.

Betty : [00:08:23] In the mindset of a leader, all things are possible. In the mindset of an expert, a few things are possible. I say those two sentences because, sometimes, your talents as an expert, or a technician, or a really good hair salon … You can make someone look really good. Doesn’t mean you can be a leader. Leaders, probably you’re not going to be the technical expert. In the mindset of a leader, you understand what you’re good at, and what others are good at.

Betty : [00:08:55] We all start out as an original, and a lot of times, we just become a copy. Instead of transforming, we settle for conforming, and nobody is inspired when you conform. Instead, they all become leaders that they don’t have. If you’re frustrated with what’s happening around you, it’s time for change on your part. If you think, and renew your mind, you will change the way you feel, and you will change your behavior.

Betty : [00:09:20] Here’s another thing about a great leader. They show up every day. They don’t look at the past, and say, “Look what I built.” They don’t look at the past, and go, “But I did this yesterday.” You’ve got to show up every day. The title, ‘What you did in the past as a leader,’ probably is not enough; it doesn’t sustain.

Betty : [00:09:37] Truly, if you’re not at the table, then your perspective is never going to be heard, so you’ve got to be there. Decisions are made by those who show up. You can come to the table, and you have to either eat, or you’re going to be on the menu. I want you to think about that. I’ll say it one more time, for those of you who’re slow: when you come to the table, you either eat, or you’re on the menu.

Betty : [00:09:58] Another thing you have to realize: leadership and influence is never a straight line. You’re going to go from all over, to all over, and back again. Three steps forward, and it’s two steps back, and upstairs … You’re going to do all those different ways. It’s like that famous guy, Forrest Gump. “Life is like a box of chocolates.” You never know what you’re going to be, and who you’re going to affect as a leader. You’re never going to know what the circumstance is. You’re never going to control all that. Showing up every day is really important, and going forward is never- is never easier, sometimes, and going bigger is never easier, most of the time, right?

Betty : [00:10:35] Ways that you can lead, and you can influence … You have the title. I would tell you to use it wisely. You’re lucky enough that you have it. You’ve got to leverage your super power, which is you. I leverage my uniqueness. I am not your average CPA type of a person. I’m more of a personal person. I’m more of a common sense … I am more of a layman terms, let’s get it on the table. I use that. Please do not misunderstand me. Do not let your uniqueness be an excuse for you to act inappropriately, or drive people crazy. Use it so that you can influence.

Betty : [00:11:16] Sometimes, you just got to … As a leader, if you’re going to really lead and influence, you’ve got to invest your time differently. Do you know that there are 1,440 minutes in a day, and there are 10,080 of them in a week? You got to look at your time as an absolute asset, not a liability. People do not email or call me after 5:00, because I don’t pick up, and I don’t answer, unless it’s really, really crucial. It’s very few and far between.

Betty : [00:11:43] I used to be in business with somebody, who had a building, where we had our practice there. He would get a little frustrated with me not being available after hours. I said, “Unless the building is burning down … Oh, wait, you own the building …” You’ve got to set that time. Your time is an asset.

Betty : [00:12:01] You’ve got to look at the way you lead, and influence. A lot of times, people don’t want to let go. Just because you work harder, and you work, and you work doesn’t mean you will lead, and influence. You’ll just be tired. Time is really important. You’ve got to cultivate some resilience within yourself, and within your people, but that’s an entire podcast I wish I had time for.

Betty : [00:12:25] Then, you’ve got to be creative. You’ve got to have some unscheduled time, when you lead, because sometimes, you just got to sit back. I do that on my motorcycle. I do that at the spa. I get those times where I truly, truly, truly step back. Again, leadership starts with you. It’s a mindset that you have to really, really cultivate, and you’ve got to show up every day.

Betty : [00:12:47] Most importantly, lead responsibly with your title, so that those results will influence, and you’ll have engagement that will fulfill your role as that leader. The success of who you are leading is counting on you to do that. I have about 150 people that count on me as a shareholder, and a leader in my company.

Betty : [00:13:08] Today, leadership, influence, and the title – they all come together. One of the people that I love, that I’ve heard talk about, and I’ve read her book on leadership is Janet Meeks. She is so passionate about how we can lead. She wrote a book called, “Gracious Leadership.” You should check it out. It’s really good. She lives it. She wants to change the world for the good. She’s a leader, because she influences those around her, and I’m going to interview her next, so stay tuned.

Betty : [00:13:39] Today, we’ve been talking about leadership with a title. Of course, the next podcast coming will be Leadership Without a Title. Either way you can lead, and it’s my privilege today to have someone who truly is an amazing leader.

Betty : [00:13:56] Janet Smith Meeks has devoted nearly four decades of her professional life to healthcare, and financial-services industries. She is an amazing executive, and a director, and she wrote a really, really great book, “Gracious Leadership: Lead Like You’ve Never Led Before.” I’ve read this book, and it really is just impactful, with such simple things. It’s amazing what the power of those simple things can create in leadership.

Betty: [00:14:24] I’m just so thrilled to have you here today, Janet. We’re going to just talk a little bit about leadership from your perspective. As you know the podcast, I talk about Ronald Reagan being one of my favorite leaders in my lifetime. I would like you to share your thoughts about Reagan, and any particular leadership attributes he possessed that you believe are more important for today’s leaders.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:14:50] Thank you so much, Betty, for the opportunity to be with you today. It’s so ironic that Ronald Reagan is also one of my favorite leaders, over the course of time. I think Reagan was so impactful, and so memorable because he was known to be the Great Communicator. I believe that the people of America, especially at that time, and now, also, are clamoring for a glimpse of what optimistic leadership looks like.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:15:21] Reagan frankly said that he was not necessarily a great communicator, but he had the opportunity to communicate great things. In fact, in his campaign for presidency in 1980, there were five simple words that he called his platform – family, work, neighborhoods, freedom, and peace. He was just such an optimistic person that people wanted to follow him. They wanted to hear what he had to say.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:15:54] I’ll share one funny story about Reagan. In 1981, when he was shot, he tried to walk into the hospital, and his feet buckled, as he was unable to take himself into the facility. He was aided by being put on a gurney, and then was taken into surgery. Quoting Churchill, Reagan said that, “There’s nothing so exhilarated as to be shot at without effect.”

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:16:21] Then, to his wife, he said, “Honey, I’m so sorry. I forgot to duck.” To the doctors, he said, “I just hope you’re Republicans,” to which one of the doctors replied, “Today, Mr. President, we’re all Republicans,” which I think spoke to the unity that this man with his optimism, and his wonderful ability to use humor made him someone that we all wanted to follow.

Betty: [00:16:46] Absolutely. Those are reasons, too, I really respected him, and looked up to him. Even when you talk in your book – it’s titled “Gracious Leadership” – that does not mean you’re nice all the time, and roll over. Reagan could be as tough as he could be as loving, and led. It all mixes together, but he had those skills, for sure.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:17:08] You’re right, Betty, and I think sometimes people will believe that you have to be a tough leader, or you’re a kind, soft leader, but just as you said, you can be both. You can be tough, and kind; you can be compassionate, and require accountability, and in so doing, you show respect.

Betty: [00:17:24] Right. Sometimes, we learn a lot about leadership outside of our workplace. We only think leadership is in the workplace. Would you share an individual who impacted your leadership convictions, and some lessons that you learned from that person?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:17:42] Two people come to my mind. One would be my high school basketball coach. Listen, if this coach said, “Jump off the bridge,” I would have said, “Yes, sir, what side?” He encouraged us, and expected us to be our very best. As well as we may have played, he always wanted more. It’s probably not a surprise that, our senior year, we went 24-0 before we ever lost a game.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:18:07] What I learned from him is that you can encourage people to give their best without screaming at them. He taught us the importance of having a game plan, so that we all were united to work on behalf of the greater good. He all taught us the importance of continuous self-improvement, as we would shoot that one hundredth free shot of the day, perhaps, or run those terribly tiring drills, where we’d have to run the lines of the basketball court.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:18:37] The other person who comes to my mind is my father. I talk about this quite a bit in “Gracious Leadership,” but my dad was a unique individual; an attorney who, in the 1960s, in the heart of Mississippi, found it to be his calling to advocate for equal rights for all people. He actually was the attorney who told the local school board that the schools had to be integrated, when the federal mandate was issued.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:19:09] My dad actually was one of a couple of people who escorted the first black child, African-American, Debra Lewis safely to her desk at Carthage Elementary School. He found himself to have become an enemy target of the KKK. They threatened his life. They threatened the lives of my brother, my mother, and myself, and he had to meet regularly with the FBI.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:19:32] Here’s the most important lesson he taught my brother, and me, two lessons. First of all, every person, regardless of how they are different from us, every person is supposed to be respected. Secondly, he taught us that you always, as a leader, do what is right, even and especially when it’s not popular, and regardless of the cost. I will forever be grateful for those important lessons of leadership that I learned both from my dad, and from my coach.

Betty: [00:20:03] Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story about your father. That was just- that was just great. Why don’t you share with us a little about the most impactful leader from within the workplace, and the lessons that you learned from that individual?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:20:22] Betty, my favorite professional mentor ever is a gentleman whose name is Aubrey Patterson. He retired several years ago, as the chairman of the board, and the chief executive officer of BancorpSouth, a financial conglomerate that transcends eight states in the southeastern part of our nation.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:20:39] I was a management trainee; green management trainee, right after having finished my MBA program at Ole Miss, and had the good fortune of being assigned to work for Mr. Patterson. From the very beginning, he put me in situations where clearly I had never been before.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:20:58] He taught me how to become comfortable being uncomfortable. He gave me stretch assignments. He gave me a little guidance, and then he gave me free rein to go figure it out. Then, I would bring back the work product to him; he could give me some hints about how to improve it, always in a kind spirit. Then, he would assign me the next big stretch assignment.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:21:22] It was really a continuous learning journey, and it’s one that really helped to mold, and shape my leadership philosophies, because I made it my practice to identify high-potential employees, and to give them stretch assignments, so they could start building more and more confidence, as they broadened their skill sets.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:21:42] The other thing about Mr. Patterson … This man is absolutely brilliant; so highly well-regarded. He’s won so many incredible awards, including having served as the chairman of the American Bankers Association, several years ago.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:21:57] He was so compassionate. He was the first one from our bank to show up at the hospital, when I was experiencing a significant health concern related to my first baby. After I left the bank, and went to work for the medical center, Mr. Patterson was the first one always to congratulate me on the birth of my second, and third babies. To have a brilliant business man, who is so, savvy, so effective, so results-oriented, but who also has a kind heart, and he’s not afraid to share that heart by showing his employees how much he cares about them, that stuck with me.

Betty: [00:22:46] Hopefully, Janet, we all have a Mr. Patterson in our career at some point, and take it a step further. We, then, will make sure that we are that Mr. Patterson to someone; make sure that it goes on, because that’s the leadership that people need, in leadership, that they need to see demonstrated in front of them.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:23:04] You know, Betty, one other comment I have to tell you. When I was writing “Gracious Leadership,” and clearly Mr. Patterson is one of the four professional mentors whom I highlight within the book, it gave me such great joy to reach out to him, and to tell him what his leadership had meant to me, and that I wanted to showcase that leadership within this book that aspiring leaders would be reading, hopefully, for generations to come; to help him see the incredible ripple effect that his leadership has had, and will have for generations to follow.

Betty: [00:23:41] Wonderful. Now, we’ve talked about the good side, so we probably need to talk about the bad, or the dark side, as I call it. There are those leaders out there that probably shouldn’t be leaders, or they’re influencers, and probably are influencing in a negative way.

Betty: [00:23:57] Can you tell us a little bit about that person, or that leader in your life; somebody that just really had an impact, negatively, but probably you used it for the better of what you’re not going to be, right? If you can talk about that?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:24:13] You’re right, Betty. We certainly learn how to lead from those positive mentors, and we learn how not to lead from those who don’t quite reach the bar. Betty, two people come to my mind. Interestingly, both of them possess the same leadership liability. Each of them was a bully.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:24:33] I had been recruited to a particular organization, and, of course, during the interview process, everything’s beautiful, all is cool. This is a little piece of heaven. Not so much, once I arrived on the job, and realized that, although this was not an individual to whom I reported directly, I had a close working relationship with the individual.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:24:58] That person reigned with fear, and terror. It was so pervasive that employees, and leaders throughout the organization literally would fly under the radar for fear that they might get their heads “lopped off.” That was not a culture where I felt at home. To be candid with you, I jokingly tell people I stayed there two years, three months, four days, two hours, and 22 minutes. In other words, it was not a place where I felt that I was going to be able to be all that I was created to be, so I made a conscious decision to leave, when another opportunity presented.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:25:42] Now, the other example was an individual to whom I reported. This person came into the organization, and was a bully from day one. It was always a little bit scary when I would look at the phone in my office, and see the individual’s cellphone number pop up. I never knew if it was going to be a pleasant conversation, or one that was not so much.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:26:08] I began to study this individual, and to try to determine what was it that caused the person to have an eruption. There was one time that there was a very unpleasant conversation, and I thought to myself, “I don’t have to put up with this. I’ll leave.” Then, frankly, I did some more reflection and decided I love what I do. I love the people with whom I work. I feel I’m called to serve in this organization. I’ve got to figure out how to work with this person.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:26:43] I did study the individual’s habits, and what I’ve figured out is that if anyone ever was tentative in how they replied to this individual’s questions during presentations, that’s when the individual was like a shark going in for the strike.  The lesson I took away from that is that, although I always prided myself on being very well-prepared, I needed to double down, and be more prepared than I had ever been.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:27:12] Furthermore, I needed to try to anticipate the questions the person might ask me, and then answer those questions before the individual had a chance to pose them. Then, when the individual would push back on me, I was armed with facts, and could respectfully push back, which gave the individual boundaries. Thankfully over the course of time, this person changed, at least in the relationship with me, changed from being a bully to actually being an advocate, and a cheerleader for the work that I was doing.

Betty: [00:27:44] Interesting two choices. You chose to leave, because sometimes, that’s what you do. It’s not worth it. Then, secondly, you chose to stay because it mattered. That’s great. We’re going to end today with just one quick, quick thing. “Gracious Leadership” is your book; wonderful book, I’ve read it. Why the word  ‘gracious?’

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:28:03] When I had retired from my full-time role as president of St. Anne’s Hospital in the summer of 2015, I became very contemplative about different leadership lessons I had learned throughout my life – either from my parents, from my mentors, or from my own professional journey. From time to time, I would jot down my thoughts about each of those particular leadership attributes.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:28:25] Then, in early 2016, I was asked by [00:28:29] Weld [00:28:30] and by the Ross Leadership Institute if I would make a presentation on a leadership topic of my choice. I pulled out my file; I spread out that list of leadership attributes, which, by that time, had grown to around a dozen. Honestly, as I looked at the words on those pieces of paper, the word ‘gracious’ came to my mind.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:28:51] I know that sometimes people may think “Gracious Leadership” sounds like it’s soft stuff. There’s a whole chapter in the book dedicated to refute that proposition. You can be kind, and respectful, and take your team to peak performance.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:29:08] Let me give you an example. One of the kindest things a leader may ever do is to tell an employee who is not a good fit in the organization that it’s better for them to leave, and to share that information with them in a kind way, so that they will not have ill feelings towards you, but they will understand that, frankly, you’re watching out for the best interests of the organization, and for them.

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:29:30] Gracious was a word that I thought was appropriate, also, given the state of affairs throughout our country in 2016-17-18, and even now. We know that 30 percent of leaders are toxic, and that a recent Gallup survey has shown that,  around the world, we lose $7 trillion per year in lost productivity attributed to employee disengagement. Most of the time, that comes from having had a bad boss.

Betty: [00:30:04] Well, I cannot thank you enough for taking time today to be here. I would challenge anyone who is listening today buy the book, “Gracious Leadership.” Also, you can find Janet; she has a website. Can you give us your information on that?

Janet Smith Meeks: [00:30:18] It’s www.graciousleadershipbook.com, and by all means, visit the website, and scroll down to the bottom of any page, and join in the free leadership blog. The Gracious Leadership blog that I send out about once a month.

Betty: [00:30:37] It’s excellent. Again, thank you. Leader with the title, leader without a title – either way you can lead.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, finding a mentor, gracious leadership, Healthcare Alignment Advisors, healthcare leadership, humor in leadership, influence, influencer, Inspiring Women, Leadership, leadership attributes, leadership examples, leadership in healthcare, leadership insights, mentorship

Inspiring Women, Episode 8: Are You Hanging with the Right People? (with Derek Grosso)

June 3, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 8: Are You Hanging with the Right People? (with Derek Grosso)
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Episode 8: Are You Hanging with the Right People? (with Derek Grosso)

Who are you hanging with these days, in your personal life? Your professional life? Are you okay with it? When you think about the people you surround yourself with, is there a contentment there? Excitement?

We become the people we surround ourselves with. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, but it’s true. And even if you separate your personal life from your professional life, you should have the same process and same expectations from the people you spend your time with.

Join Betty Collins as she discusses this topic with Derek Grosso, CEO and Founder of the Columbus Young Professionals Club (CYP Club), a “for-impact” membership association made up of 25,000 young professionals, entrepreneurs, executives, and creatives who live in the Columbus region. Founded in 2005, the CYP Club is the largest membership organization of young professionals/millennials in the United States.

Derek Grosso, Founder and CEO, Columbus Young Professionals Club

Derek Grosso, Founder and CEO, Columbus Young Professionals Club

Derek Grosso is CEO and Founder of the Columbus Young Professionals Club (CYP Club), a “for-impact” membership association made up of 25,000 young professionals, entrepreneurs, executives, and creatives who live in the Columbus region. Founded in 2005, the CYP Club is the largest membership organization of young professionals/millennials in the United States.

Through Derek’s leadership, the CYP Club has offered hundreds of events, established thousands of connections, volunteered more than 100,000 service hours, donated more than $500,000 to local charities, and contributed $2.7 million in economic impact in Central Ohio since its inception. Derek also advises young professional organizations and membership clubs around the country through The Grosso Group. He is an entrepreneur, a leadership consultant, and a public speaker.

Derek studied entrepreneurship and small business management at The George Washington University in Washington, DC and holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration. He proudly serves the community as a board member for CYP Club Cares, Columbus Inspires, Experience Columbus, and Keep Columbus Beautiful. He lives in Upper Arlington with his wife Nicci and step-daughter Hannah.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Interview Transcript

[00:00:00] As I said at the end of our podcast we were going to introduce the CEO of Columbus young professionals Derek Grosso and Derek is just if there’s one person who knows how to hang around with the right people and get the right people to come together. It would be him. He’s built the organization pretty pretty quickly over a time period with 20000 thousand people in it. So today Derek I would like you just to talk for a few minutes about what you do and your organization.

[00:00:29] Well I’m happy to do so and thank you so much for asking me to talk with you a little bit more about the subject. When I first moved to Columbus which was back in 2005 I moved here I didn’t go to Ohio State I didn’t grow up around here so I always kind of say that I had two strikes against me. And so I moved here knowing one person and I saw a need for for myself to connect and network in the community and get to know the city. And I also saw a need for others to do the same. So the organization was born out of that simple idea and it quickly turned into something where a lot of people were engaged with the organization coming out to our event. So it turned into a full time job for me but the organization I took part is about connecting our members who are in their 20s 30s and some in their early 40s with one another with opportunities to network to meet new friends to plan sports teams to get back to the community and really to build their capacity of learning leadership and all the great things that there are in the city of Columbus in the region. If all those things and more we have a network of over 20000 making us the largest in the country we also host about 150 events a year. So there’s a lot of connecting we’re definitely trying to get people to hang with the right crowd at our events.

[00:01:39] And we also we we contribute a lot back to the community. We donate our time to the tune of about 10000 volunteer hours a year. There’s a lot of connecting and giving back in and around the city or sports league. We have two magazines that we publish. We’re actually also in Nashville Tennessee with a sister group that we started and we have a number of big events that range from a few hundred people to a few thousand people in attendance. You know I tried to learn as well as execute a lot of the ins and outs to let people know it’s not always easy to connect but it but it’s much easier if you put yourself out there you have a positive mentality and you also let people know hey you know I’m looking at this from the perspective of trying to interact and meet people not necessarily to take something from them and I think people appreciate that authenticity while at the same time they they’re looking for learn and grow and develop whether it’s in business or in any other area the same way. So it’s very important when I tell people be yourself but get outside your comfort zone in any area whether you’re trying to make a sale or you’re trying to get a new job or move to another city. Whatever the case may be. It’s about the relationships that you develop.

[00:02:47] Well obviously you’ve been very successful at not only having relationships in your life but doing a very successful organization. So I am sure no doubt that connections aided you to have that success. Tell us how you select which relationships that you develop.

[00:03:05] I try to think that I’m a good judge of character. You know as everyone likes to feel that they are. And so when I’m interacting with people I’m always I’m always trying to you know offer up nonverbal cues. You know a firm handshake a smile looking people in the eye. And that’s just the kind of way that I would like for people to interact with me. Patrick DiNardo who has helped develop some of our program communication and and helped us you know speak at some events is a local author and speaker. He talked a little bit about building relationships and communicating with impact. And one of the things that stuck out to me that when I look at building those relationships and pursuing the right ones he says everybody knows the golden rule which is treat others as you would have them treat you. And he also he talked about the platinum rule which is treat people the way that they want to be treated. So it’s very important not just to think about how you would like people to treat you but also how they would like to be treated in return. And that’s very important when you’re pursuing relationships and trying to figure out which ones to develop. If someone’s really not into helping others or at least if they’re all about themself which way we meet those people from time to time and that’s ok sometimes it’s not a bad thing to just kind of look at that opportunity and just say you know we don’t want to we can’t focus on that control in that situation but we can’t focus on who we spend our time with.

[00:04:23] Well that’s great segway into kind of my next question. If someone is pursuing a relationship with you or you see this at your organization I’m sure its voice to you but you don’t see value in it whether it’s business or even personal. What do you do with that.

[00:04:39] You know it’s tough because we want to be polite. I’m always trying to be the nice guy. But sometimes you also have to you know make sure that you’re not you’re not focused on pleasing everybody. And that’s a that’s something in sales that’s something in relationships personal and professional. But I think that. Honesty and openness is helpful. So for example a lot of counsel I’ll be introduced to people adults and they’ll want to meet with me and that’s great. I love meeting with people I love interacting. If I can provide some value some connection but sometimes people just just want to get together because and there’s not like a real purpose behind it. And I know that everybody’s busy and the perfect might just be to get to know you a little better and that’s fine. But at the same time when you’re meeting with someone and you’re talking with them and you and you’ve made me feel like you don’t see value in it I think you can kind of emphasize some of your expectations while at the same time saying no you a lot of people have a hard time saying no to thing.

[00:05:33] And sometimes that’s a 30 minute coffee meeting oh you know what’s coffee. But if you take that 30 minutes and you value the time that you’re spending with yourself and really investing in what you’re doing I think you’re going to quickly see that sometimes you have to say no to these opportunities and sometimes being open are to say hey look you know I’m really excited to talk with you about this but maybe introducing them to another person would be a better a better step because if you can’t figure out what the goal is it’s really difficult for you to move forward without wasting everyone’s time. Ultimately I think that if everyone is focused on the value that they bring to the table you also have to you have to be focused on the value that you’re bringing to yourself. You don’t want to lose sight of that when we’re in these connecting opportunities because quite frankly there’s only so many hours in the day so many days in the week.

[00:06:19] Right. I mean I always say this. I could have lunch three times a day with the amount of people sometimes that want to help me or help my clients and they’re just not the Fed right. So I tried again on but sometimes act you know we’ve been talking a lot about hey the connection let’s make the connection. What do you consider Once that connection you decide I can make and pursue this or I’m not going to pursue it because now I want this to be a successful relationship. You know right. What do you do to build upon those relationships that you can see to success.

[00:06:53] Whenever I’m looking to build on relationships I always want to know not just what the short term value is but what’s the long term value. How can. If I’m in a room with somebody and I value my time I value other people’s time. I also want to value the future time that we have together. So if we’re just getting together and getting to know each other and building those connections I mean I’ve got plenty of folks who I’ve never met in person home connected with on LinkedIn and there’s a will there’s a way of betting or there’s a there’s kind of like another endorsement another person that I know and sometimes that’s helpful sometimes it’s not because you know if you don’t know someone in real life do you really know them in the virtual world. I think that you know when you really want to be successful in building relationships it’s simply that it’s how do we build this relationship. How do we help each other. And then the people who are connected with and I think that when you’re just thinking about what’s the next step what’s the next action.

[00:07:44] And that helps because you have a clear vision. You know I don’t mind grabbing drinks every so often or getting coffee or tea with someone to get keep rising. This book is I’d never eat alone. So there’s a lot of good gems in terms of getting connected you know as you’re as you’re mentioning are you hanging with the right crowd. You have to be reassessing that. A lot of times that changes over the course of your career or your life that you’re hanging with people who are connecting with the things that you need right now. And at the same time the things that you can provide for them and that relationship could change or or improve or evolve over years or over time. So I think it’s nice to think about what the future can hold and then you have a clear direction versus hey let’s just get together and see what happens when you really want to be successful in building relations with you really need to be a little bit more selective in the time that you spend just kind of hanging out.

[00:08:33] Yeah definitely. Now here’s a tougher question and hopefully you can share honestly but not use names again. So have you ever been in a relationship that went sour and how did you end it did you end it gracefully did you know. How does that play out. Because sometimes they’re just they’re in. You’ve got to detox your life.

[00:08:56] And it does happen. And when that does happen sometimes I was looking to every opportunity as a way to make a good impression. Every opportunity to meet someone to interact to promote my business my brand. But sometimes it just doesn’t work and that could be the the really trying not to focus on things you can’t control. If you did something wrong apologize for it. Move on. If you do something that is destructive you start to reexamine what it is you’re doing in these relationships. I’m burning bridges is never a good idea no matter how upset or pissed off or disastrous it is for the bottom line. I will say though when you’re dealing with unreasonable people that’s a different story. But ultimately you know you’re in a relationship in the community with the community. And so all of the people who talk and don’t and don’t talk it’s always nice when people can say nice things about you when you’re not in your room because that amplifies your you know your relationship building and interconnect ability. But it also it sends the right energy out to the universe I think. And so if these things happen you know if it’s your fault sometimes it’s not always our fault but it seems like it is. So when a relationship or if a relationship goes sour maybe it’s salvageable or maybe it’s not. But I think you have to if you did something wrong apologize for it.

[00:10:11] Learn from it. There are things you can’t control and many of those things are other people’s perspective or other people’s minds if you’re trying to sell them something or you’re trying to offer them something and they just don’t get it. You can’t really be in their earbuds in too much because then you start to become the person who is too aggressive or too obnoxious right. And so sometimes just taking some time to have some quiet time. I like to recharge the battery and sometimes spend time alone or with others who you we really can kind of pump you up not yes men or yes women but people who really you know have your best interests and so really focusing on on the positive versus the negative that can help you get out of the situation but also can help you reflect and make sure. Oh man I did something wrong. Don’t do it again and realizing that there are gonna be some times where other people are just going to not not be worth your time quite frankly. Or maybe they’re just acting or or they’re unreasonable. You know there’s a lot of good people out there there’s also a lot of idiots out there do. So you know we don’t want to waste our time trying to convince somebody when they’re just never going listen or they’re never gonna understand your perspective.

[00:11:17] Well you know I appreciate you being very honest with that because it’s it can be hard to. Something or to realize this is not the relationship you want in your life but you know we have different relationships in business for sure. I mean the owners that you work for or maybe owners that you are partnered with your managers that direct reports your peers your clients prospects people you think you want to get to know and then organizations that you volunteer and if you can give us one takeaway today on and giving some advice to our listeners. Just one really strong take. How could you be more strategic in developing relationships.

[00:11:57] That’s a great question. I can give you many many tips and suggestions but the one thing I’ll say is when you’re trying to build and develop those strategic relationships I think you do need to fit in and spend time whether it’s during the day during the week or maybe it’s like a retreat session. Take the time as an individual whether you run a business whether you work for somebody whether you’re we’ve got a side hustle whatever it is that you do take some time so that you can figure out what it is that you want to do. Get it clear in your head and then go for it. There’s a lot of books that are on my bookshelf and someone might get a chance to read the whole the whole book and sometimes I get the Cliff’s Notes or spark notes version. But ultimately I think that if you’re focusing on time to learn and sharpen the saw and really try to be strategic and get a lot of self reflection that’s what we put out what we get back what we put out to the universe when we’re connecting with people. I think that when I’m connecting with someone if they make me feel good about myself or what I’m doing I want to talk with them more I want to converse with them I want to send them business.

[00:13:00] It’s not something where you want to have people that are brown noses but you know that’s not what I’m saying I’m saying people who are complementary and make you feel good and positive about what you do because we all do great things. And some of us do things better than others and we can continue to learn. But the one advice I would say is surround yourself with the right people as you mentioned. You’ll get an internal gauge. The more people you interact with who are the people who you really connect with who are the people who are in your neighborhood that they’re not just that you want to do business with but these are the type of people who you feel this is an important part of my life. And it makes me feel good and it makes me self reflect in a good way not looked down at my shoes and be embarrassed or be sad or be depressed and upset and when you’re talking to people I think if you’re positive if you’re uplifting and if you have something important and valuable to say they’re going to respond and you’re going to help them in many ways just as much as yourself.

[00:13:50] Well there’s no doubt that you know how to hang with the right people started with one in 2005 and now you’re at twenty thousand more. So I just so appreciate you joining us today and talking about this subject because I think it’s just important for people to have some perspective on it. And we wish you the best of success in what you’re doing with your local sister place in Tennessee. Appreciate. Have a good one. You too. Thanks.

Tagged With: connections, connectors, CYP Club, Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, Derek Grosso, networkers, networking, relationships

Inspiring Women, Episode 7: Rehearsing Your Troubles

June 2, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 7: Rehearsing Your Troubles
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Betty Collins, CPA, Host of “Inspiring Women” and Director of Brady Ware

Betty’s Show Notes

I think most people in life have a potentially harmful habit of rehearsing their troubles. If you constantly rehearse your troubles, what does that mean? You’re thinking, you’re talking, you’re laying awake at night, and you’re playing something over and over in your mind. It often starts with a simple comment from someone around you, and it consumes you.

Join me as I discuss how I learned to go through my troubles when they occur rather than rehearsing them over and over in my mind.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty Collins: [00:00:00] So today I’m probably going to hit on a little bit of a nerve because I think most people in life. Men, women, old, young do this. It’s just a habit and it’s a habit that really can be harmful. So we’re going to talk about rehearsing your troubles or going through them when they occur. And instead of rehearsing them over and over you’re going to be prepared for them and do it just one time instead of a thousand in your mind.

[00:00:32] So you have a choice. You can rehearse those troubles and then you get to experience it again and again. Or you can be ready when they show up and they actually occur. You know people that do this. They have these great conversations mentally right and they even have probably a full cast of characters. They all have roles and there’s a theme and they have built up this big play and wow. And you get to have fun being around those people. Your reality is maybe you’re one of those people and you don’t even realize it and you’re having all this fun mentally right? At the end of the day it’s very self-destructive habit. It can have some very adverse side effects that you don’t want in your life.

[00:01:16] I want to talk a little bit about that today. Just to be sure you understand what I’m referring to, rehearsing your troubles. What does that mean? If you constantly have conversations. I mean you’re at your desk you’re you’re thinking you’re talking you’re laying awake at night and you’re playing something over and over and it consumes you. That’s what I’m talking about. And it could be you know it can be any kind of trouble.

[00:01:39] Trouble is is what you and what you feel is you know something that’s causing stress or chaos in your life for it’s a problem or whatever it is. And so we do rehearse things a lot in our mind and we don’t tell people we don’t communicate that correctly or we don’t effectively get to the issue. And it may be troubled that isn’t even there. Right. You may never experience it except in your mind.

[00:02:04] And it probably starts with some simple comment right from the people around you the people that matter the most are going to have some comment to you. Your peer your spouse your significant other. Or maybe a circumstance just doesn’t go well and it triggers something for you. And so you’re like wow that just pushed my button that that trigger just starts the rehearsal.

[00:02:27] So you play this out reliving and reliving in it and it’s not a matter of if or when it happens. It probably isn’t even close to the reality. And then you’ve had all this time and energy wasted on you know fill in the blank. Energy instead that could be put towards being prepared for facing the IT OR THE FILL IN THE BLANK. OK. If something triggers you or someone doesn’t have a filter or a comment played it over in your mind probably isn’t going to solve it. Sometimes you do need to rehearse when you’re ready to go in you know and you’re going to but that’s only if you’re really going to go in and face the issue and have a conversation.

[00:03:04] You’d be amazed at how many many little chats I have all day. I have these things that go on and on and on and you probably if you really said you don’t get to see if I do that you would be surprised if you started keeping score. How many times you having some conversation in your head and then you’ll find out too it’s probably I just had that conversation in my head. Know you probably think I’m crazy right now but this is something that really people are consumed in. And statistics shows you. I kind of read a little bit about this. Chances are if you’re having these conversations in your head they’re probably not very positive. They’re probably something that’s really more negative. That’s why they’re you know kind of in your head and just your little world.

[00:03:44] I want to talk about this because I had I had to conquer this habit in my life. I’ve seen it in all aspects of my life in relationships and with my kids and my spouse where I work my clients and connections. And it really does have consequences and it hold you back from the fulfillment of those relationships and success and goals and contentment. So for me I really had to learn the hard way and I learned actually from a 27 year old counselor that I went to when I was 40 and she had such wisdom about it and she really helped me train change my mindset. The first thing that’s that she really taught me was you got to be aware that you’re rehearsing. You got to realize Why am I even having this conversation? And you’ve got to learn to identify.

[00:04:33] And on top of that you’ve got to learn what triggers it. And then you’ve got to shut it down. Those are the steps. Identify it. Be aware of it. Learn the triggers, and shut it down. What consumes it? What trouble consumes you.? You’ve got to look what fuels that gas on the fire. Social media. Garbage in garbage out. News. Toxic people. Surrounding yourself with people without filters probably get gonna really really fuel that. Or you can say I’m going to put good in good out not like garbage in this water on fire by books and positive stories and podcasts and music and positive people or just pure silence. And I really had to work on this because I would just really really go into these things.

[00:05:18] When I was in counseling with this person. I was in a pretty bad place at that time in my life. She was from Russia and she really loved the United States she had this great accent. So we just had a synergy from the beginning. But as soon as she said Hi how are you man I just I would tell her I was that day and we went through all my troubles and circumstances.

[00:05:39] The first couple of sessions you know she listened pretty well and then I was really caught off guard one day when she goes Hey hold on. And I said Yeah. And she said Did he really say this or is this just your perspective and I was like Well she wasn’t. Did he say it. Well no no. But I guess he didn’t. So is this real or is this your perception. And I was like I mean I’m 40 she’s 27 she’s totally put me in my place I’m like wow. But it took me a while to realize I did that a lot and it started with these conversations in my head right. And then I did start start going wow I’ve got a I’ve got to really stop this.

[00:06:24] She always challenged me to think what’s real and what’s perspective and then what really happened and then process right and then deal with it and your chances are you’re not going to deal with anything that’s bigger than than you just created it to be. So again you’ve got to be aware you’re rehearsing. Identify learn triggers and shut it down. But then you really have to go. Is this real. Did this really happen or is this just your perspective or this is your reaction right. She really taught me when I would be rehearsing internally and playing this over and then I would come and just you know of course tell her the whole thing.

[00:07:00] I realized these things weren’t happening. They were they were my responses to glances. They were my responses to the circumstances that maybe I just didn’t like.

[00:07:10] The third step is change the way, then you just deal with the trouble instead of all the conversations and all this stuff that you you play up to. And once you do that this habit will become something that is not a barrier to you any longer. You get a lot more sleep at night. You might have better relationships and you might learn to communicate instead of blow up. So how did I quit rehearsing with all these things how did I how did I stop it. So I just am doing with trouble and stress when it’s occurring and believe me it’s easier said than done.

[00:07:42] As I’ve just talked about I made a very conscious effort to identify that trigger in the rehearsal. And this is something I learned to do and you can laugh at me and you can you can just think I’m crazy but I would suggest to you in the privacy of your home that you look in the mirror and say your conversation out loud because you’re either going to go. This is true and you’re going to cry or you’re going to laugh at yourself hearing yourself and looking at yourself saying this.

[00:08:12] She had me do that a couple of times that I realized oh my gosh it just made me think differently. And over time I started having a lot less conversations and rehearsing of things that that I was really in a lot of ways making up.

[00:08:27] Another thing that I did during that time and I still do it. I journal. My life has had its ups and downs and challenges like everyone. It’s an effective tool. I would just tell you when that season of your life is over burn the book OK. Burn the journal. I really did do that honestly because I had gone through some pretty rocky things and man when I looked back at what I had written and had these conversations that got on paper at least I was like wow I can’t even think of the energy it took to think this stuff up let alone write it. And then I said let’s burn it and be done. Very very good therapy. There were times in life though when you have these things where they consume you and your troubles just get you. You got to go to. You’ve got to find a mentor counselor it’s OK.

[00:09:14] There books are everywhere on the subject matter. I was amazed when I Googled this subject matter what I found. So it must be a huge problem there’s a tremendous amount of information out there to help you start thinking different ways. But you really have to stop the following. When rehearsing stopped a lot in my mind where I just played this out was I realize I have to stop some toxic relationships and cannot be around people who don’t have an ability to filter. No one or circumstances worth robbing me of my peace of mind you know because that’s what that’s what they were taking.

[00:09:48] And instead I took energy when something did trigger me or someone didn’t filter that day I thought I’m going to be prepared when they when they can’t filter because you’re always gonna be around people that can’t filter you’re always gonna be around situations. And I learned to know let’s just deal with this in let’s make it simple. Believe me it’s a lifetime. It doesn’t just stop but preparation for it facing troubles and doing it head on without just you know I’m going have crucial conversations OK. Those might be part of the play but it’s a lifetime and it takes in some. Some of it depends on the on what the problem is and how big it is will depend on the strategy that you use which could be an entire podcast. But you still have to have some way of intentionally facing the issue besides the conversation in your head.

[00:10:36] But things that I have done when I get to that point where I’m seeing the consuming calm you know those things just get me all the time. I get away. I step back. I’m busy all the time. I will never have a day that isn’t full of something but sometimes when that consuming rehearsing is going on I just have to step back and step away.

[00:10:55] And I have to kind of get and look from the outside in the situation to get my perspective. Also what I do when I see myself getting to this point is I look in the past trouble that I’ve had in my life and I look at what did work and what didn’t. I’m not gonna repeat what didn’t work because it will probably have the same results. I learned to realize I need to look at other people that have you know they have some control on their life and they seem like they’re pretty level headed. By the way there’s very few of those out there and probably if you ask how they’re really doing and you get in there you’ll find out that you’re they’re experiencing the same thing you do. Tapping into their wisdom was something that was really things that helped me. And then there are just those times when you can’t get what you’re thinking about and consumed about you can’t get it out. So you’ve got to draw that line in the sand and say you know what we’re going to deal with this and sometimes that’s just comes in cycles and ebbs and flows. And then get a perspective on your trouble. Just ask someone how their day is and see what’s going on in their life and sometimes this little trouble thing you’re dealing with that’s consuming you will seem like nothing.

[00:12:02] And I think really the last thing that women don’t do well is we balance a lot in our lives and we have a lot of relationships in our lives. We have a lot of things that trigger these conversations because it’s very very much a habit of women in today. We don’t take the time for self care. Self care is OK. And when you don’t you can’t just rest and relax and sit back. You may not ever stop having all this stuff go on in your life. So it’s OK for self care. I’m a big spa person. I could go to the spa every week without hesitation but I don’t do that. But what I really do is I look at it. Well we all have to look at some point as some type of spiritual emotional mental physical and take care of those things and then you take care life because you can. You have the ability and that way you can face your fear and embrace with confidence in who you are. And then that again that’s another whole podcast. So trouble stress chaos those things. The situations that you’re rehearsing in your mind over and over. Learn to stop doing that and become consumed instead to prepare for them and be ready to face them when they actually occur. It’s your choice and I hope you make the right one.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, empowering women, Inspiring Women, rehearsing your troubles

Inspiring Women, Episode 6: No One Will Value You More Than You

June 2, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 6: No One Will Value You More Than You
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Betty’s Show Notes

Do you feel unappreciated, undervalued, overbooked, underutilized, or overlooked? Maybe you think you’re an afterthought. Take a step back and ask a simple question:

“Do I value who I am?”

If you don’t value who you are, why should anybody else? If you value something, you protect it, invest in it, brag about it, and love it. In this episode of Inspiring Women, Betty talks about the importance of valuing who you are and how it starts with you.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

[00:00:00] No one will value you more than you.

[00:00:05] OK. Is that profound? I don’t know. Is that something that you think about? Could be, could not. But I want to really challenge you with it today because we tend to want to be valued and we wonder maybe why we’re not. So I want to talk about.

[00:00:22] So if you feel unappreciated, you’re not valued, maybe your used, you’re overbooked. Or if you feel underutilized, overlooked, maybe you’re ignored, or maybe you just think you’re an afterthought. I would challenge you to step back and ask a simple question.

[00:00:37] Do I value who I am?

[00:00:41] Better yet. If I don’t value who I am, why should anybody else?

[00:00:48] Tough questions. But you need to answer them if this is something that you relate to or resonates. So today I want to talk about the importance of value and who you are. And if you want to be valued by others it really does start with you.

[00:01:03] Do you say these types of things, do you find yourself thinking these types of things? So someone you know asks you a question and your answer is, “Well if that’s what you want OK.” Or maybe it’s just “Sure.” Or maybe “I guess if that’s what you think is best.” Even if you don’t think that at all, right. “Oh, it’s nothing really, no big deal. Well, what do you think. Well no, what do you think?” Another word you’re answering a question with a question.

[00:01:36] But I saved the best for last I think. Just say nothing. Instead you have this really good conversation inside your head for only your ears to hear. And sometimes that’s probably pretty necessary. So if you find yourself saying those kind of answers and those kind of things when that’s not what you really wanted to say it’s not how you really feel. It’s time for change if you want to be valued. And really we all want to be valued. We’re human.

[00:02:03] If you value something what do you do? Well we protect it. We invest in it. We brag on it. And we probably love it more than…fill in the blank. So let’s talk about those four things.

[00:02:18] Protecting you is first. Protecting you in my mind says anything that’s a threat needs to be eliminated. Because if you’re going to value you, then nothing can take that. Toxic relationships. People who are just takers. And know giving people who have addictions and pull you down or maybe an enable-ee, because you’re the enabler. So when we protect something we make sure there’s no threat. Right? We would if that was our kid. If we saw anything like that we would say no.

[00:02:48] Protecting you means boundaries. They must be set and enforced. Certain things can never get inside those boundaries if you’re going to protect you. Modifications okay but only if you choose to do it. You know it takes a lot more of you and your energy when you’re on the defense versus the offense. So protecting you. Really important.

[00:03:16] Ground rules have to be laid. You know once they’re laid you can kind of go into maintenance mode. Isn’t it easier to live in the house versus build it all the time and rebuild it and re fix it and setup the rooms again and again instead of just enjoying it.

[00:03:32] Crucial conversations. The thing we hate the most. They have to be said. You can decide. Ten minutes of crucial conversation or hours of egg shells. So if you value you, whatever you value in life, you’re probably going to protect it.

[00:03:48] I’m fortunate enough to serve on the National Association of Women Business Owners board. I am the president elect this year and we have a saying, “Protect The Awesome.” We’re going to allow nothing to get in that would hurt our organization. So when your valuing you, protect you.

[00:04:11] The second one was invest in you. Investing in you. Sounds selfish but it’s really not. Here’s what I did when I first got divorced and I and I was on my own and I had some free time for the first time in a long time. I read The New York Times from start to finish. It lasted about three months I was done. But you know it was just something I invested in some time by myself in a restaurant with coffee and breakfast and just read the New York Times on a Sunday. It’s what I wanted to do.

[00:04:46] Spa days, there’s not enough money in the bank for me for that, but I invest in that because you know what it makes me feel better.

[00:04:53] The house has got to be mine at some point once a week minimum for four to six hours. That is investing in Betty Collins.

[00:05:02] I take vacations not with my whole family. I take them with my best friend and my husband. And kids took plenty with them on vacation but those two were the first priority.

[00:05:15] And you know here’s what’s funny about investing in you. Vacuum cleaners in your house are not personal they’re meant to be used by all. So sometimes protecting you is just going, “Here’s the vacuum someone use it.” Right?

[00:05:27] Part of being valued too is writing it out, thinking on paper. I do this probably once or twice a year and I categorize it a certain way and on our website you’ll see some just some tools and examples that how I do that. It’s not complicated. It’s one page. It’s not overwhelming. But I write it out and I group it spiritually, physically, healthy, mental, emotional, and then there’s this thing called routine of life, because if I do the first of them very well then routine of life does fall into place better.

[00:06:05] And then investing in you. Don’t you want ROI. We all do. When you’re 401K balance increases it’s probably because you contributed to it consistently. It’s balanced correctly in the right funds and you probably has an adviser helping you. The results are satisfaction growth and value.

[00:06:25] I would challenge you today if you want to be valued and not overlooked and not used and not go through what you do is being ignored or afterthoughts. Protect yourself. Protect you and invest in you.

[00:06:41] The other thing is bragging on you. You know people either do this really well or they don’t do it at all. I’m not telling you to be arrogant by any means but I’m also not telling you to act insecure. You never underestimate how good you are at something. At the same time make sure that you are not the only topic in the conversation. How you talk to people how you treat your own self and how you respond really talks about how you value yourself.

[00:07:10] This is a typical conversation of a woman to woman or even a man to woman. “Hey you look really nice today.” If your response is. “Oh I thought this made me look fat I don’t really look good in green.” What does that say? It says you really don’t think you look good. It says that you’re not that confident in who you are. How about this? “Thanks. This is one of my favorites. I appreciated that you noticed it.” People will respond to you differently in value differently if you value yourself. Pretty simple stuff but it’s really true.

[00:07:48] Another thing about bragging on you is “OK. Am I going to accept what someone just said?” Am I going to accept what they did or am I going to go, “I think I got to have some more questions answered before I’m going to accept that I’m going to make sure that I maybe have some input. Because I value who I am.” When it comes to your job or whether it comes to compensation, titles or roles, or even your role in the family or how your family responds to you or how you respond to them. Bragging on you. Don’t be arrogant but respond and talk accordingly, how you would want to be talked to. And make sure you don’t just accept things sometimes ask more questions.

[00:08:30] I know that many of us as women will come into a job interview and they will say that the compensation is fifty thousand dollars a year. And in your mind you’re having this conversation going, “I’m worth 60.” and you say “OK.” Men will not do that. Men will go, “I would like 60.” And they might get 55 and we get kind of mad because they valued who they were, they bragged on themselves that, “no I’m worth this.” So just a challenge.

[00:08:56] The other ways love yourself more than ‘what.’ Is it self-serving? Is it not caring? No, I think if you’re going to really care about others and be a healthy person in healthy relationships you’ve got to care for yourself first and then you can care about others. It takes time sometimes it takes thought it takes being intentional.

[00:09:16] So you have to ask yourself if I’m going to love myself more do I want to be rested or rundown? Do I want to be overworked or hey how about barely paid, and it’s all balanced and we share in this? How about if I’m going to love myself, am I going to hope that they rise up or that even I rise up. By the way, hope is not a strategy. If you love yourself more you’re going to have expectations of yourself and “them”…them being the important people in your life.

[00:09:48] And if you’re going to love yourself more than whatever it is. What’s important to you should be important to them. So I would tell you no one will value you more than you. Protect it. Invest in you. Brag on yourself. And love it more than whatever is out there.

[00:10:08] Where do you start? An overall plan. But I would challenge you to just do small changes because that’s probably going to be the reality. I have a worksheet where I have different categories and one of those is what am I going to do differently. What’s the small change that I want to make with my finances. So I decided one of the small changes I’m going to get in the habit of using Kroger’s click list because then I will only spend exactly my budget. I don’t have to go to a grocery store, right? And then I’m going to cut out one meal of eating out a week and give that to the Mid Ohio Foodbank. I don’t know why that small change needed to happen. But I wanted that to occur where I could be giving more I feel like sometimes we spend too much on food and eating out. So I wanted to balance that.

[00:10:57] So where do you start?

[00:10:59] You start with those small changes that are important to you. You get away and you think it through. There have been times I’ve just gone away for an evening and stayed in a hotel. Or I’ve gone away for the day and nobody knows where I’m working. Why? Because I’m important. I’m protecting or I’m investing in myself. I’m bragging on who I am and trying to to be a better whatever.

[00:11:21] So if you can’t figure out a plan you can’t even figure out those small changes or you can’t get away to think that’s not a reality. Then you find a mentor or someone who has success with understanding their own value. You know who those people are. You can look it’s easy sometimes to to look from the outside and see, well, they’ve got it all together and they’re confident they’re these things. I would ask him how do you value you.

[00:11:48] I have lots of tools that are that are attached and hopefully you’ll use them. Do something. It’s much better than doing nothing right. Even if it’s small even if it’s a start. But the tools that are out there are as if there’s the form for making change. Example of how you think it out on a paper. How do you put this together. How do you start the process.

[00:12:11] There’s this really kind of I don’t know I’m going to call it cheesy thing but it’s a wheel of balance and it’s all the balance things of life like you know your physical life, your finance life, your spiritual life, and you kind of fill it in and you see where you’re not balanced to where you have nothing and some things have way too many.

[00:12:27] There’s a book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. And being a non essentialist sometimes helps you clear the deck so you can really sit and fit in and think about how you want to value yourself and value who you are.

[00:12:40] No one values you more than you and you need to think that through. When you are overlooked or you are not even in the picture or you’re not promoted or you didn’t get recognition. It could be because you needed to do some things differently, and you needed to value you first. Again remember to protect you, invest in you, brag about you, and love you more. The results…your value of increase in and in yourself, and others will see it. So today I would challenge you to dig deep. Now one values you more than you.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, Inspiring Women, National Association of Women Business Owners, NAWBO, ROI, valuing yourself

Inspiring Women, Episode 5: The Journey Or The Destination

June 2, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 5: The Journey Or The Destination
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Episode 5: The Journey or the Destination?

A lot of people don’t realize that the most important part of the destination is the journey you take to get there. All our lives, we’re thinking about the next “thing,” the next destination. We easily lose sight of the journey with all of life’s distractions, but we live the journey day-to-day, and we need to enjoy those moments as they come.

In this episode of “Inspiring Women,” I speak with Elise Mitchell, the author of Leading Through the Turn, a fresh take on leadership that offers simple yet impactful takeaways. It’s an “all in the trenches” handbook from a leader who has found far more success in her journey than her destination.

Elise Mitchell, Author of Leading Through the Turn

Elise Mitchell

Elise’s experience encompasses both entrepreneurial and corporate life. She is the founder of three companies — two in leadership development, one in public relations. Most notably, she is founder and chairman of Mitchell Communications Group, one of the top 10 fastest-growing public relations firms globally and a two-time Inc. 500/5000 fastest growing company.

The firm has twice been named Agency of the Year by PR Week and The Holmes Report. Clients include Walmart, Procter & Gamble, Marriott, Mondelez and other well-known brands.

Under her leadership, the agency grew more than 500% in five years. At the end of 2012, Elise sold her firm to Dentsu, Inc., the world’s largest ad agency, based in Tokyo, Japan. She led the successful integration of her firm over a five-year period in a newly established global parent company, Dentsu Aegis Network.

Elise serves as CEO of the Dentsu Aegis Public Relations Network, leading M&A efforts and collaborating with colleagues in nine countries to leverage growth opportunities and position the collective internationally.

Today she also advises clients through her own leadership and business consultancy.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty: [00:00:00] The journey or the destination. What’s your choice?

Betty: [00:00:05] Some people really, most people actually, look at here’s my destination. Here’s my goal. Here’s where I want to be. Very few people realize that the most important part of the destination is the journey you take to get there. So I want to talk about that today.

Betty: [00:00:21] You know all our lives we’re thinking about the next thing. We’re thinking about the next destination. Whether it’s “Hey, I can’t wait to drive.” “If only I can graduate.” “I’ve got to go to college.” “I want to get my MBA.” “I probably want to get married or have a significant relationship and yeah kids let’s get the kid thing going.” And then before you know you’re raising them and you’re ready for grandkids. And by all our lives we’re talking about retirement. Well is it the destination or is it the journey? Which one’s more important.

Betty: [00:00:55] Most of us would say “Oh the journey you know yeah the journey.” But in reality, our actions say the destination.

Betty: [00:01:03] Examples of easily where we lose sight about it. Biggest one probably feel relate to most losing weight. Again, but losing weight. Right. But if health becomes a lifestyle. And your diets are now over it’s probably because you realized there’s a journey and it’s every day when it comes to weight and health and making good decisions. You know I look at weight. I’m all over the place. I love to eat. I like fine dining. I like all that. But when I go with one meal at a time instead of I can only have 1200 calories today I do better.

Betty: [00:01:40] I enjoy the cooking piece a lot more when I’m just enjoying the journey. If it’s about dinner, that’s the destination right? But the journey of learning to cook and spices and fresh, all those things can be fun. When I focus on just fruits and vegetables are my side versus what I can eat. Those are things that just start happening and become a part of your life every day.

Betty: [00:02:07] We exercise, right? We’re either really extreme or we’re gonna go to the gym every day and because we’ve got to get to this destination of “I want to lose all this weight so I’m done.” Instead of you know run a 5K, learn how to run, learn how to build that up. It really is about the quiet time. It’s the music on the headsets. It’s being outside. It’s the progress that you make. And then you finally get to have the race. So it’s not about the race. It’s about leading up to the race.

Betty: [00:02:36] Here’s one we all understand. Holidays. It’s all about the big Christmas morning. It’s about the right gift, receiving and giving, when you could just say I am going to enjoy the Advent season. So advent calendars and a small simple reminders every day of Christmas. The Nutcracker. When’s the last time you enjoyed that? And the Rockettes. Netflix now makes it really easy to enjoy Christmas music all through the season. It’s all categorized, it’s all easy instead of waiting for that TV DVR thing.

Betty: [00:03:08] You can even go out to fine dining in the midst of the craziness. Dress up and enjoy a night out because it’s all part of the Advent season. Lights and decorations, red or green, gold or silver, blue tinsel, purple. Choose it all but enjoy it. The whole six weeks.

Betty: [00:03:29] And Christmas cards. You know it’s not about how many you get in the mail. It’s really you get to have a time where you’re writing a personal note to someone. That’s enjoying the journey.

Betty: [00:03:40] Cookie bake. My daughter and I started a cookie bake in fifth grade because I always had cookie bakes with my mom. I have the recipes from my grandmother. Who gave them to my mother who gave them to me and I started this process with my daughter in fifth grade. Sugar cookies only, decorating, two hours with their friends, I was done. She’s now 26 and we’re going to be doing cookie bake with her college friends, who probably are her lifetime friends. That’s enjoying the journey.

Betty: [00:04:06] It’s not about the big gift. It’s not about eating the cookie. It’s the process of generations of recipes. It’s the process of spending time and yeah your kitchen’s a mess for about five, eight hours and you’re exhausted but what a journey.

Betty: [00:04:23] And then of course Christmas Eve and Christmas day come and there’s not a big let down when you kind of just start enjoying it all along. And if the big gift didn’t work out you kind of missed the moment you thought was everything it was, right? The destination.

Betty: [00:04:37] Or hey it’s a new year. We set real unrealistic goals because we’re going to plan, we’re going to achieve things, and then it results in failure. So change that and look at what it was my journey going to look like in ’19 or ’20 or ’21 whatever it is.

Betty: [00:04:52] Here’s what I’ve done really well with the journey and I learned this the hard way through divorce. When I went through divorce my attorney was great but the destination was to be divorced. But I will tell you a counselor said to me if you continue to do all the good things the right things and the things that are normal and everyday stuff, you’re probably gonna end up in the same place. So I would change how you live day to day so you have different results.

Betty: [00:05:20] So I started taking that to heart. So my kids, I’m a single mom after the divorce, and it’s school time. You know how mornings are. But we always had breakfast once a week at Bob Evans. Part of the journey. Not getting to school, not just getting through the day, not just getting them out the door. It was just let’s go have some breakfast.

Betty: [00:05:37] Family traditions. I learned this from my parents really well. I still have all those traditions but I also buy new traditions with my kids. And it’s not about the holiday or it’s not about the event it’s about we do this every year and we add to it. We take away from when it works.

Betty: [00:05:55] I look at the Women’s Initiative at Brady Ware. I try to focus right now on what women are doing right now today. We’ve had women that have gotten involved with Habitat Humanity For Single Moms, raised all kinds of money. We’ve had women that raised money when Puerto Rico really went through two hurricanes back to back. And that woman today is going back to Puerto Rico to talk on a panel about women because we helped a school for girls during a really tough time. That’s the journey. It’s not what is the Women’s Initiative going to accomplish? What is it that we want to get out of it? Where are we today? I enjoy more watching the women of Brady Ware evolve.

Betty: [00:06:39] Another great example, and it was all really not intentional by any means, but when I merged into Brady Ware, it was about a 14 month courtship of negotiations and coming together and how are we going to take two businesses and make them one. I focused a lot on “I’m going to get to the big company.” “I’m going to get to the opportunity where there’s more.” “I’m going to have this new day with a new twist.” And what I didn’t realize was how much tough work it would be when I hit the destination, right? I got there, but I had arrived. So now what. And I will tell you once I figured out that I had arrived I learned that I had a whole new day and I wasn’t ready.

Betty: [00:07:17] But my growth and my opportunity and my success over these past six years have been two fold in comparison to the first 24 years of my career. The difference is that I finally realized I made it to the destination, but I wasn’t prepared to be there. So I had to really look at what is now the newest destination and I was going to make sure that I took the journey so I could get there successfully.

Betty: [00:07:41] Now what? And what would be the next destination? No idea. So I decided instead I was going to enjoy my moment. I remember the first day at Brady Ware when I was downtown and I had this beautiful office looking over The Scioto Mile, and the Capital and I had all my same computers and I had all my same staff and I had all my same clients and yet. I’ve arrived at this destination and I had no idea what to do. It was an “aha!” moment.

Betty: [00:08:11] So I did the one thing I always know what to do and that’s go have lunch. And I called my husband I said I’m completely lost and he said no you’ve arrived. It’s time to enjoy the moment and go to the next step. Go to the next destination but enjoy a little bit more and be ready. So I took that to heart and I did that.

Betty: [00:08:31] Instead I focused on building relationships within Brady Ware and outside of Brady Ware. I decided I was gonna improve my skill sets. I wasn’t going to go get a bunch of clients, I was going to go get a bunch of stuff. It was knowing an improved skill sets.

Betty: [00:08:46] I’m also going to be part of central Ohio. Here I am downtown in the heart of Columbus and I don’t even know a thing about it. I lived here my entire life.

Betty: [00:08:55] Please do not misunderstand me. You have to set goals. You have to have a plan. You do have to have that. But don’t let the destination consume you.

Betty: [00:09:04] Example. I always want more clients. We all do right? It generates revenue at the end of the day. So I turn my focus on the small business owner. I turn my focus on helping women who own their businesses. Because they struggled different than men who own their businesses.

Betty: [00:09:23] I joined an amazing group called NAWBO, the Columbus chapter, the National Association of Women Business Owners. I decided I was going to support an organization the one I chose was the Women’s Small Business Accelerator, the WSBA. Developing skills that were not related to accounting, changing my focus on who I was working with and in what they needed. Becoming part of organizations that support me and help me and help others all the sudden began changing me professionally. And before I know it, I was at another destination in another milestone. I enjoyed that journey and all of the outcome. And guess what. At the end of the day, I got more clients and I met my revenue goals. It just was done with a different mindset because it was focused on the journey and going along instead of the end result which was getting the client and that revenue.

Betty: [00:10:20] So the goal was met, right? I can look back and see the journey and the growth. There’s a lot of outcomes that come with focusing on the journey and not the destination. First is you don’t forfeit all the life lessons and experiences if you miss the journey. If you go through the journey you’re going to learn those lessons.

Betty: [00:10:42] You’re also trying to acquire different skills. And you’re going to achieve and maybe even refine who you are. We all need that.

Betty: [00:10:51] You’re going to make necessary changes along the way so that you don’t have regrets when you get to the destination, right? You’re going to work on things as you’re seeing them.

Betty: [00:11:01] You probably are going to learn to preserve, enhance your personal self, who you are. Keep redefining that.

Betty: [00:11:09] And you’re going to shape your character. Those are the outcomes of the journey and not just the destination. And someday you’re going to call upon all those outcomes and use them at the appropriate times. I know as I look back with my whole career and especially the last several years when I really developed and had some really really cool journey time. I’m now ready for the destination, when I got there. Unlike when I came here six years ago.

Betty: [00:11:38] If you’re fortunate you’ll be ready for the next part of your journey, that will lead you to the next destination and that’s really where I am right now.

Betty: [00:11:46] Reaching your destination. It’s just a moment in time. But travelling towards your destination is an every day thing, and you don’t want to miss it. Change your mindset. The journey or the destination. And I’m going to challenge you today. Let the journey become your focal point. It’s far more rewarding than the destination. One thing you could do is certainly read a book, Leading Through The Turn by Elise Mitchell. She’s a great woman and she’s a great read.

Betty: [00:12:17] So I’m going to challenge you today with a couple of questions and some things that hopefully will provoke some thought. What destination are you thinking about right now? You may not be thinking about any of them. Maybe you need a vision or a goal something that you can work towards. But mostly I want you to think about what is the journey going to look like. What’s it going to feel like. That’s the real question. So today hopefully I’ve made you come to some conclusions about the journeys more important than the destination. And hopefully today you’ll change your mindset and have much more fulfillment getting there. Take it to heart and start being intentional about the moment. The day to day. That journey along the way to your destination.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, destination, Elise Mitchell, empowering women, Goal Setting, Inspiring Women, it's the journey, Leadership, Leading Through the Turn, NAWBO, NAWBO Columbus Chapter, planning, Women in Business

Inspiring Women, Episode 4: Entitled to Nothing, Empowered to do Anything

June 2, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 4: Entitled to Nothing, Empowered to do Anything
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Betty’s Show Notes

When empowerment and entitlement are your state of mind of your family, your office or your business, anything is possible.

You’re entitled to nothing, but you’re empowered to do anything. To talk about that, we need to define the difference between entitlement and empowerment because they are two very different things. When I examined the meanings and characteristics of entitlement and empowerment, I found that empowered people have a lot more characteristics of which all were positive.

  • Who do you know from either group?
  • And who do you want part of your organization or your business?
  • Which business partner do you want?
  • What mindset do you look for your kids to have? Entitled or empowered?
  • What kind of employees do you want, entitled or empowered?

The answer is simple: we want empowerment around us, and we want to empower. But doing that is hard, and it’s never-ending work. Join me as I discuss empowerment in this episode of Inspiring Women.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty: [00:00:00] You’re entitled to nothing but you’re empowered to do anything. I want to talk about that today.

Betty: [00:00:06] In order to talk about that we have to really kind of define what entitlement is and what empowerment is. There are two very very different things.

Betty: [00:00:15] So entitlement. I look at it as a state of mind. It’s a state or condition that you are entitled. You have rights to something. Notice there’s no action in there. It’s just I have rights. It’s the belief that you deserve more for whatever reason. You could list those out. Let’s add one more word to entitlement. Call it self-entitlement. And it’s really when an individual you know they see themselves for more than they are. They see that they have privilege that probably is unearned. Those are people who believe that life owes them something. There’s a reward. There’s a measure. There is some kind of success. There’s a standard of living that they should have.

Betty: [00:01:02] Very few people are the queen of England and their children get to get this, their children get to have that. There’s very few people that might be a second or third generation with the name Hilton. Those things don’t exist a lot. Nothing wrong with those things. That’s true entitlement because of your name.

Betty: [00:01:21] But really if you look at what entitled people are like here’s a few characteristics. They’re uncompromising attitude. They have very little regard for how someone else feels. They have a very sense of over-exaggerated self-importance. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is my own. That’s how they live. They’re probably very one sided. In fact in their mind, no reciprocation is necessary, don’t worry about it. They’re incredibly lazy, at the end of the day. They overstate their own achievement by underrating you. They have unrealistic view of the world. Or they just justify their tantrums. They’re like toddlers. And when anger doesn’t work they choose passive aggressiveness. I think they’re both just as bad. But when all else fails, poor little me.

Betty: [00:02:18] And we think of entitled people as just Generation X or Millennials or whoever’s going to be next right? But it really goes beyond them, because who do you think taught them to have the mindset? The Boomers and the people before them. So you can’t totally just say “oh that’s the entitled generation.” Sorry we taught them to be entitled.

Betty: [00:02:41] Do you know people like that in your life that I just described? Or maybe even better yet you probably have some of those traits yourself?

Betty: [00:02:49] So let’s go to some of the more fun. The definition of empowerment. It’s not a state of mind, it’s an act or an action. You’re either empowering yourself or someone else. You’re either granting the right to someone to do something great to do something not so great. Who cares. Being empowered is something that you’re doing. Empowered people are confident, they believe in themselves. They know their value. They understand that, and they consider life a reward not, “I need a reward.” They don’t get irritated often. Everybody gets irritated sometimes though. And they look for what they can learn from something. They don’t dwell on the negative.

Betty: [00:03:33] They take care of themselves. They validate themselves so others don’t have to. That’s a big one. They’re not defensive. They accept compliments with the grace and they trust themselves. They live by their own rules and most importantly they probably embrace possibilities more than anyone. Now do you know someone like that. Are you that person?

Betty: [00:03:57] When I was going through looking at what entitlement means what empowerment means and the characteristics, what was very interesting was empowered people had a lot more characteristics. There was a lot more that described them and of course it was all positive. Night and day. Who do you know, either group? And who do you want part of your organization or your business? Which business partner do you want? And what mindset do you look for your kids to have? Entitled or empowered? What kind of employees do you want entitled or empowered?

Betty: [00:04:34] The answer is really easy. We all want empowerment around us. We want to empower but getting it done is hard. And by the way it’s never ending. It’s a constant.

Betty: [00:04:46] So I’m going to tell you a little bit of a story. For me at the age of 14 my mom sat me down and she talked about college. She talked about the importance of education. We all have that. She didn’t want me to have the same choices that she had which were very few without being educated.

Betty: [00:05:02] And so when it came to working and opportunity she wanted me to have every bit of it that we could. And she talked to me also about experiencing college, living on a campus, something she never got to do except for two years. She never did get her college degree. She also talked about the cost and what would it take to get there. So she handed me an application. I’m 14 years old. She handed me an application to complete a work permit and explained to me, “Here’s the college. So you got to go work and save for it so you could afford to go take care of it and do it.” There wasn’t “your father and I are going to write the check.” There wasn’t “we’re going to go into debt all over the place. We’re going to make sure you go and take whatever you want.” It was very thought through.

Betty: [00:05:53] And she also explained to me that I was probably going to take debt because hey I have a great job when I get out. And that was the mindset. So I worked and I saved I did what she said I’m 14 years old. And by the way when I was 17 I moved to college. And I got in my brother’s car because the three of us shared a car, we did not have our own cars. And we drove to college and we didn’t stop at Target and go to a big section from going back to college.

Betty: [00:06:17] We just packed what we had in our rooms and we went and by the way we unpacked the car and we moved in. Done. And I went to registration and I wrote a check from my checking account. I loved it. I worked all through college. I continued to save all through college. I still went into debt all through college. And I actually didn’t get my real degree for nine months after because I still had a 400 dollar balance on my bill.

Betty: [00:06:43] So hard work. I got it done. That was empowerment. It was worth it. And it was mine and I owned it. When I was 14 because my mom said here’s a vision here’s how you get there and it’s yours. She showed me potential and opportunity and but she also said now here’s what it’s going to take to make it happen.

Betty: [00:07:07] That’s empowerment. It’s empowerment in action. It’s not entitlement. I didn’t have a right to be at college. I either wanted to be there, or I didn’t.

Betty: [00:07:17] It all sounds good it sounds so easy it’s positive and it’s motivating. And I compare it to the feeling when you work all day in the yard. I love to work in the yard. And you then see all the results of landscaping and cleaning up and power washing. But you are exhausted. It’s a good feeling and you soak in the tub. You sleep well. That’s called empowerment to me.

Betty: [00:07:40] What relationships in your life go from empowerment to entitlement or entitlement to power? I think you need to really look at the relationships and the circumstances in your life to go, “no wonder this isn’t working.” So to be empowered you have to do the following just like my mom. You’ve got to be intentional and create that vision of what it looks like.

Betty: [00:08:01] Oh by the way you have to have a plan. Get over it. You got to have a plan there doesn’t work. You always figure out your why. Why are you doing this? Well for me back in the day it was because I was going to have a good job and have a good opportunity through my life. The how, what, and when. That’s the easy stuff to figure out. The mindset that really good things like college educations, or careers, whatever you want to put in there, fill in your blank, it takes time and patience is required. You can either have a roasted turkey by your grandmother or you can have a microwave frozen dinner. Choose.

Betty: [00:08:36] Oh by the way when you want to be empowered or you want to empower, enabling is no longer allowed and letting go is crucial. And most certainly, enjoy the journey. But you got to see it all the way to the end.

Betty: [00:08:49] My mom did all these things in the process of my education as well as transition into life. And she had six kids in five years. We were her world. Yet she was trying to get us to go out and do what we did.

Betty: [00:09:00] Now my son I did a lot of what she did I did with my kids. My son was a little bit different. He taught me a good lesson on life. I laid out his vision and terms. He said no. And he chose a different path on his terms. I’ll never forget the day he showed up in my office and he said I’m going to Boston. I’m going to Eastern Nazarene College, and I’m going to be a pastor. I started to interrupt him about the vision and terms because that’s not we talked about, right? He stopped me and said I’m going with you or without you, but I’m going.

Betty: [00:09:34] In my mind, I knew he would go and make it. I still didn’t help him. I didn’t write any checks, I just said go for it. And I had to sit back and learn and watch. Not easy.

Betty: [00:09:45] So to be empowering to those around you ask them what the vision is for their career, for the office, for our clients, for our family, for kids. On and on. My kids had a passion. I was going to go get a job they were going to follow passions. But that’s OK. I did at least learn through my son. I needed to see what they wanted to do.

Betty: [00:10:07] Live the behaviors that you want them to embrace around you and your office or in your families. I do that and I still do and if anyone acted like you what would your office, family, relationships look like? Sorry these hard questions come with my podcast but it’s kind of true. That the thing that I love, help uncover your exceptional talent and value it. Not everyone is the same. And chances are if you’re using your talents you’ll be more successful and happy. I’m a CPA with soft skills. Not usually seen in my industry. So I leverage and use those talents in a different way.

Betty: [00:10:46] The biggest and hardest one for me to empower those around me is I have to be quiet. OK? I have to state the problem and the vision and the goal and let them come up with solutions. We had a book club in my office a couple of years ago. For about 18 months it was very effective because they were reading and they were learning and they were figuring out how to solve our issues in our office, not me.

Betty: [00:11:13] And you got to give and take. The give and take have to be the right thing not the easy thing. And it can’t just be that you’re going to get a return from that give and take. People know the difference.

Betty: [00:11:24] So when it came for my kids to go to college I took that same approach as my mom. I was going to choose empowerment and not entitlement. But you know a few things change from 1980 to 2010. A little bit different. I sat down with my kids just like my mom but we talked about college. We talked about majors with passion. We talked about the costs. We talked what it would take to get there. And we talked for years. And we modified when necessary. And when it came to an end, graduation was the celebration not the end. It was the beginning. They were both seniors and they were on winter break and we were done with the holidays so I sat down with them and I said look we’ve got to talk.

Betty: [00:12:02] You’re going to be educated adults. And I set boundaries as your mom. On June 30th, I’m done. And you’re going to be on your own. And here’s the titles to your cars and here’s a good insurance agent. And you better start researching phone plans. Some of them parents don’t do today. Something we don’t do in our offices today. Instead we think about if we reward more and expect less,they’ll stay with us. Instead if we’ve just empowered and quit the entitled state of mind, we’d have a different result.

Betty: [00:12:37] I also told my kids when you’ll leave the room for the last time and there’s no more bed in your room, it’s my room and I now have a great office and a walk in closet. Sometimes it’s just time for life to go on and letting go and helping empowering them was the way to do it.

Betty: [00:12:55] I really believe in the success of my education as well as my kids and this is just one example of the difference of entitlement and empowerment. Empowerment was always behind it all. And there was no entitlement in the mix. When empowerment and entitlement are your state of mind of your family, your office, your business, you’ll embrace any possibility. Again you’re entitled to nothing, but you can be empowered to do anything.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, empowerment, entitlement, entitlement mindset, mindset, self-entitlement

Inspiring Women, Episode 3: What’s Your Story?

June 2, 2019 by John Ray

Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women PodCast with Betty Collins
Inspiring Women, Episode 3: What's Your Story?
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Betty’s Show Notes

I am a big believer in reading. It’s enjoyable, but it’s also about gaining a different perspective. And reading a story is totally different from telling a story.

What’s your story and have you told it to anyone? Your story is everything you have experienced: the bad, the good, the ugly, all of it. It has the ability to change the world in which you live, to have an impact on those around you, to be inspirational, and to help you reflect on yourself.

Here’s my challenge to you. Write your story, get with someone and tell it, and then figure out how to use it to impact the world around you.

“Inspiring Women” Podcast Series

“Inspiring Women” is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social and political achievement. The show is hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and presented by Brady Ware and Company. Brady Ware is committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home. Past episodes of “Inspiring Women” can be found here.

Show Transcript

Betty: [00:00:00] So today I want to talk to you about your story. What is your story? We all have one. We all have some kind of life experience. And sometimes I think it just needs to be told. It’s one thing to read someone else’s story but it’s completely different for you to write yours and talk about what has happened to you and show your perspective. I guess the question I would ask is have you ever really thought about your story?

Betty: [00:00:30] I really didn’t until I was about 50 years old. Why would someone want to hear what I have to say? My life is pretty routine. It’s pretty normal, it’s pretty ordinary. However, there have been so many people over the years that have impacted me because of their story. Most of them realistically have never written it down. But they have been very impactful to me.

Betty: [00:00:54] The first time I ever had to formally write my story was in August of 2014. This part of the story was really about my career and where I had come from in accounting. And I was doing this for Brady Ware’s Women’s Initiative Internal Day that we have. All the women of our four offices come together. And we come from Georgia, Indiana, Dayton, Ohio and Oklahoma.

Betty: [00:01:17] We get together and we talk about how things are going. And this was the first Brady Ware’s Women’s Day that we had together. So I had to get to know some of these people. So I kind of told it and here’s my story here’s my path. Here’s what I went through. I merged into the company in 2012. I had about 45 women at that time at this meeting. And so I was really nervous. I thought how am I going to introduce myself? You know, what am I going to say? Why would they want to hear this? They don’t know me. So I’ve got to talk about it. It took some time for me to write down that path because that path started in 1984.

Betty: [00:02:02] But the more I wrote the more I remembered and the more I got into it. It was really energizing. I mean I was like, wow, how fortunate I had been over my career. The right people that were in my path. So in some ways it was really good therapy for me to write my story and talk about this part of my life. It helped me to see that really I had a great life and I had a great experience in this area. And that even though there was what I called “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly,” I remembered it and I put it down.

Betty: [00:02:36] And I thought OK I’m going to tell this. And I was very nervous when I had to tell my story and talk about why and how I had done things. Because you know I wasn’t in the national news. I wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t work in a large company. I wasn’t with the Big 4. In fact women in this room had bigger careers than I did.

Betty: [00:02:56] Yet I was the shareholder at the table. So my big thing that day wasn’t just to talk about Betty Collins’ life, it was to talk about how I had gone from being a staff accountant. And now I’m a shareholder. It was that part of the story. It was just one of the chapters in my book.

Betty: [00:03:18] The biggest takeaway from that day was that these women listened. I mean, they weren’t on the edge of their seat and they were like “Tell me more,” but they listened. They seemed very genuinely interested. And in over those next several weeks after that I realized that with some it was very impactful. And with some help challenged them. So I thought Wow. Now that of course they know me. They’re kind of probably tired of hearing my story because I’ve told it too many times.

Betty: [00:03:49] But take a moment to think of people in your life that have impacted you. Just by how they live, what they say. They probably never wrote anything formally for you or went around talking about themselves. They just they lived life and you witnessed it. You probably are sitting from afar witnessing the success or you’re in the audience and they’re speaking and you’re hearing about the outcome. But really probably would impact you more is the success of the journey and the whole story, not just the positive good ending that they had.

Betty: [00:04:25] For me, I know that day in talking to the women, I’m the shareholder at the table, that really wasn’t the story. It was “I became the shareholder.” And how did that happen. You know what are all those details of getting from that staff accountant to the shareholder.

Betty: [00:04:42] In your life, it might be something completely different that you do. Sometimes there’s just those lines in a play that stick out to you. You know it’s not the whole thing it’s just there was a take away and you’ll be surprised that your take away that impacts people. And sometimes just knowing the tragedy becoming in. You now have to triumph, that’s the other good thing.

Betty: [00:05:06] So I would like to challenge you today by considering the impact your story can have on others. Your story. All it is simply put is an experience. Life that you have experienced the good the bad the ugly, it can’t just be about the good. About your decisions and circumstances, things you didn’t foresee and now you wish you would have. And now you have the advantage of hindsight.

Betty: [00:05:31] And sometimes the best story is the tragedy or the failure and all the learning you had to do to take place. Your story is personable and relatable and it’s yours. It’s probably not a big thick novel. It is probably also not just about you.

Betty: [00:05:47] Why this topic? I think it’s because your story has the ability to change the world in which you live. You can be impactful to those around, you can be inspirational. And it will help you to reflect on you when you’re thinking and having to write, and having to put things together or tell your stuff. Don’t ever underestimate your experiences

Betty: [00:06:08] All around you people are experiencing the same thing as you do. Maybe they just need help. Maybe they just need guidance.

Betty: [00:06:14] The real truth is 90 percent of us live ordinary lives. Very few of us lived this crazy big, national figure, live in the castle, you’re a household name. That just doesn’t happen. Ordinary people telling ordinary stories.

Betty: [00:06:33] Why do you tell it? Because other need other people need to hear. Plain and simple. You have something to say.

Betty: [00:06:40] So how do you tell it? Well I tell my story or bits and pieces or wherever I’m speaking or wherever I’m having conversation or where ever I’m engaged. I tell it my own way. And it’s personal. It doesn’t have to be in a format. It doesn’t have to be like you know these organizations that try to help you do a speech. It’s not that.

Betty: [00:06:59] And who you tell it to? If you think you have something to say and you have that much confidence, you figure out your audience. For me it’s the women of Brady Ware. For me it’s small business owners. For me it’s my children.

Betty: [00:07:12] You got to figure that out and you have to figure out who you’re driven to impact. Hopefully you have somebody that you’re driven to impact. Maybe it’s people within your own industry. For me again women in business, business owners, my kids, and certainly the generation behind me.

Betty: [00:07:27] Whose stories had my impact on me? The Grote family story. The Donato’s story. There is a great book called The Missing Piece. What I got from Jane Grote Able is that pizza was just the venue. That stuck with me. That was the takeaway that day. Accounting is just the venue. And in the Grote family, it was all about “that’s how we can serve people.” Also from her she talks about the sole purpose of business is spelled S O U L. I take that with me now. everywhere I go. We’re not all Jane, we’re not all the Donato’s name, but there are other people.

Betty: [00:08:07] I have a client, RDP. They’re just passionate about the grandfather that started the business. And they’re passionate about selling food. They’re passionate about tomato products and they love talking about their grandfather and what it means to work.

Betty: [00:08:24] I’m sure most of you know the name Ricart. Rhett Ricart has a great great story not on he built a ton of business with car sales. His stories about his 13 biggest mistakes. He tells that everywhere.

Betty: [00:08:37] The shareholders in Brady Ware, they have stories from years of experience in Big 4. They have little things of how they landed the client. Stuff makes a difference.

Betty: [00:08:47] I have a client Essence Marsh. She has a daycare, just to heart for kids. She’s guided by her faith she listens to everything I tell her as a business owner. And so she inspires me, if I tell her to do something she just does it. And her story continues to evolve.

Betty: [00:09:07] People like my daughter Erica. She comes and tell these stories about these kids. They’re just hilarious. She’s energized by that advanced class and how can she get them on the right path to think of college and AP courses. I hear the story when she tells it.

Betty: [00:09:23] Certainly the women of Brady Ware. we had a Women’s Day last year when it was National Women’s Month in March. And it was a day of persistence. so I asked the women of Brady Ware to write who did they know who was persistent. And we had about probably 20 that opened up about the persistent women and men in their life. It was energizing. And we had just a great day celebrating over chocolate and stories. It was engaging and it was it was impactful. Again, the ordinary things by ordinary people.

Betty: [00:10:01] So whose story do you need to tell? Because maybe you’ll never get someone to tell their story or your own. Who is in your family, in your life, your professional, all of those things, who’s impacted you?

Betty: [00:10:12] Recently my dad passed away and the night he died I couldn’t sleep so I started writing about him and was just amazed who he was. And as I wrote about those things I realized who he really was in my life. And my son, not knowing that I wrote this, spoke at his funeral and he said “My Grandpa was a storyteller.” That’s just how he communicated life. I’ll remember those things more than I will his lectures or his lists. It’s the story.

Betty: [00:10:40] Challenge. Write your story. Get with someone and tell it and figure out how you can use it to impact the world around you. If you know someone who has a great story and they will never write it, write for them. Write a piece about it. It’s easy to be on the outside looking in, right? It’s easy to go “I see this. I see your story.” Chances are they’re not going to write it. So tell it.

Betty: [00:11:04] We all have people we all have circumstances. Life experiences that can create this amazing story, with characters and plots and themes, dreams and as well as reality. And it needs to be written because I assure you there’s someone who needs to hear it.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, Inspiring Women, share your story, story, tell your story

Decision Vision Episode 17: Should I buy a franchise? – An Interview with Anita Best

May 30, 2019 by John Ray

Decision Vision
Decision Vision
Decision Vision Episode 17: Should I buy a franchise? – An Interview with Anita Best
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Michael Blake, Host of “Decision Vision,” and Anita Best, President of Find Your Franchise, Inc.

Should I buy a franchise?

How do I decide on the best franchise? What’s the process of buying the right franchise? Why are true entrepreneurs not the best franchise owners? Anita Best of Find Your Franchise, Inc. answers these questions and more on this episode of “Decision Vision,” with Host Michael Blake.

Anita Best, Find Your Franchise, Inc.

Anita Best, President, Find Your Franchise, Inc.

Anita Best is the President of Find Your Franchise, Inc.  Anita has spent the last ten years consulting others who are considering owning a franchise. She is passionate about small business ownership and lifestyle independence. She specializes in helping people leverage their beliefs, attitudes and transferable skills into a franchise opportunity that will meet their financial and personal goals.

Anita has owned four franchises, including a Keller Williams franchise she opened as a managing partner. Through her stewardship, the business achieved profitability in year one and her office grew to over 125 agents in less than 3 years. Because of her inimitable business acumen and success in running the franchise, she was invited to join the business coaching program at KW, where she coached other business owners to reach their peak performance.

Michael Blake, Brady Ware & Company

Mike Blake, Host of “Decision Vision”

Michael Blake is Host of the “Decision Vision” podcast series and a Director of Brady Ware & Company. Mike specializes in the valuation of intellectual property-driven firms, such as software firms, aerospace firms and professional services firms, most frequently in the capacity as a transaction advisor, helping clients obtain great outcomes from complex transaction opportunities. He is also a specialist in the appraisal of intellectual properties as stand-alone assets, such as software, trade secrets, and patents.

Mike has been a full-time business appraiser for 13 years with public accounting firms, boutique business appraisal firms, and an owner of his own firm. Prior to that, he spent 8 years in venture capital and investment banking, including transactions in the U.S., Israel, Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus.

Brady Ware & Company

Brady Ware & Company is a regional full-service accounting and advisory firm which helps businesses and entrepreneurs make visions a reality. Brady Ware services clients nationally from its offices in Alpharetta, GA; Columbus and Dayton, OH; and Richmond, IN. The firm is growth minded, committed to the regions in which they operate, and most importantly, they make significant investments in their people and service offerings to meet the changing financial needs of those they are privileged to serve. The firm is dedicated to providing results that make a difference for its clients.

Decision Vision Podcast Series

“Decision Vision” is a podcast covering topics and issues facing small business owners and connecting them with solutions from leading experts. This series is presented by Brady Ware & Company. If you are a decision maker for a small business, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us at decisionvision@bradyware.com and make sure to listen to every Thursday to the “Decision Vision” podcast. Past episodes of “Decision Vision” can be found here. “Decision Vision” is produced and broadcast by Business RadioX®.

Visit Brady Ware & Company on social media:

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/company/brady-ware/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bradywareCPAs/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BradyWare

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradywarecompany/

Show Transcript

Intro: [00:00:01] Welcome to Decision Vision, a podcast series focusing on critical business decisions, brought to you by Brady Ware & Company. Brady Ware is a regional, full-service, accounting and advisory firm that helps businesses and entrepreneurs make visions a reality.

Michael Blake: [00:00:20] And welcome back to another episode of Decision Vision, a podcast giving you, the listener, clear vision to make great decisions. In each episode, we discuss the process of decision making on a different topic. Rather than making recommendations because everyone’s circumstances are different, we talk to subject matter experts about how they would recommend thinking about that decision.

Michael Blake: [00:00:38] Hi. My name is Mike Blake, and I’m your host for today’s program. I’m a Director at Brady Ware & Company, a full-service accounting firm based in Dayton, Ohio, with offices in Dayton; Columbus, Ohio; Richmond, Indiana; and Alpharetta, Georgia, which is where we are recording today. Brady Ware is sponsoring this podcast. If you like this podcast, please subscribe on your favorite podcast aggregator, and please also consider leaving a review of the podcast as well.

Michael Blake: [00:01:03] So, our topic for today is about franchising and, specifically, should you buy or maybe buy into a franchise? And this is a model for business that has just been exploding in the last couple of decades. And we’re going to be a good friend and expert come on and talk about this in a minute. But it’s a very exciting topic because entrepreneurship is becoming increasingly important. But not only that, entrepreneurship is changing.

Michael Blake: [00:01:33] Historically, when we think about entrepreneurs, especially in my generation as a Gen-Xer, we think about Silicon Valley, we think about Steve Jobs, we think about Mark Zuckerberg, we think about Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk, and so forth. And they’re entrepreneurs. No doubt about it. Nothing wrong with what they did. But only one person, not everybody can kind of be a genius that’s going to start a business that literally changes how civilization works. And it’s not a stretch to say that those are the kinds of businesses that have done that.

Michael Blake: [00:02:13] There’s a lot of entrepreneurship that that occurs. It’s what I call kind of meat and potatoes businesses. They’re not sexy like the Silicon Valley kind of businesses, but all they do is they make money. And at the end of the day, businesses are supposed to do that. Companies like Uber and Pinterest that did IPOs, and they’re so under water, the next CEO’s going to be Aquaman. These businesses make money. There’s nothing wrong with them. And I think we’re going to see an even greater interest in franchising because we’re seeing a lot of people, kind of, in transition in their careers.

Michael Blake: [00:02:54] And for my part, I reached a point where I needed to stop being an employee sometime in my early 40s, a few years ago. And one of the things that people, then, might look at if you’re going to start a business, and you’re not going to go the venture capital route, is franchising. And it works very well for some people. And for other people, it doesn’t work as well. But that’s the nature of, really, any business. That’s not unique to franchising. But we’re going to talk today about how do you find out if franchising is the best fit for you, or, frankly, if it’s not a good fit for you, stay away from it, and do something else.

Michael Blake: [00:03:33] So, joining us today is my pal, Anita Best. Anita is the President of Find Your franchise Inc. She has owned four franchises herself and has spent the last 10 years consulting others who are considering owning a franchise. She is passionate – and that’s an understated passion with a capital P – about small business ownership and lifestyle independence. She specializes in helping people leverage their beliefs, attitudes, and transferable skills into a franchise opportunity that will meet their financial and personal goals. Anita, thanks for coming on the program.

Anita Best: [00:04:09] My pleasure, Michael. Thanks for asking me.

Michael Blake: [00:04:11] So, how’d you get into this business? You’ve been doing it for 10 years. What led you to this path that you’ve chosen?

Anita Best: [00:04:21] Like many things in life, it was really an accident. I sold real estate all through the ’90s. And when Keller Williams came to Atlanta, Keller Williams Real Estate, they were a younger company at the time, they were recruiting me. And through the course of those discussions, I had been selling real estate a long time, and the opportunity came up to buy into the Buckhead franchise when it was opening up. And so, I did became an investor in the franchise and was the managing partner for the first three years. So, I really started from the inside of the franchise business. Keller Williams has a very sophisticated coaching program that they recruited me into. So, I helped coach other Keller Williams franchise owners around the country on how to grow and build their franchise and be successful.

Anita Best: [00:05:11] A few years later, I did that for three years, built it into one of the top, at the time, one of the largest franchises in the country. And, now, I decided to take a little break. The coaching was very lucrative that I was doing with them. And so, I hired a new broker to run the office, retain my ownership, and move down to Florida to spend some great years with my parents. They were getting older. And looking back on it, that was a great decision.

Anita Best: [00:05:33] I decided to come back to Atlanta a few years later, and they wanted me back in the Keller Williams system. But it was a great job but a very difficult job. And I started thinking about the fact that I had been down in Florida for three years, and had not worked at the franchise even through ’08 and all that downturn, I still got a check every quarter. So, mailbox money was nice and decided that maybe buying another franchise would be a good thing to do.

Anita Best: [00:06:02] And so, in my research, looking at franchise opportunities, I came across a franchise broker and was really intrigued by that business model. So, again, I started researching that, in addition to looking at some franchises, and decided that with my coaching training and background, with my franchise ownership background, it was a perfect fit. So, I got some education, got some training, hung up a shingle, and the rest is history.

Michael Blake: [00:06:31] And how did you move from franchise, or do o you consider what you do now franchise brokerage or more of an advisory?

Anita Best: [00:06:39] I never felt like a broker. That’s a technical name for what I do. But almost, from the very beginning, my business was very consulting-based. I tell my clients that I am a a research assistant, a subject matter expert, and a coach. And I tell them right from the beginning, the majority the people that come to me, that are referred to me, my business is virtually all referral, don’t buy a franchise. They’re on a dual path. They’re looking at another corporate job. They’re in transition. But almost without exception, they refer people to me. So, my goal is to have them have a good experience, get educated, and not for them necessarily to buy a franchise. Although happily, I can say it does happen often enough.

Michael Blake: [00:07:27] Okay. So, when I broached the subject of franchise, and you’ve taught me a lot about franchise over the years that we’ve known each other, so now I can have an intelligent conversation for about eight minutes or so, and I said, “Well, people will come to me, and they’re in various kind of situations.” We’ll talk about that later in the interview. But the question I always get back or the reaction I always get back is, “Well, I can’t do a franchise I don’t want to be in the restaurant business. I hate food service. I don’t want to own a McDonald’s.” I mean, the franchise world is a lot more than food service now, isn’t it?

Anita Best: [00:08:00] Yeah. I’ve been, as you said, doing these 10 years, I’ve only sold two food franchises. I, typically, tend to talk people out of it just because I think there’s so many other incredible opportunities out there. Only about 20% of franchises are food. Franchising is just a business model. Most people don’t know but most of, if not many of, the Coca-Cola bottlers are franchises, traditional franchises. Your favorite sports team is a traditional franchise.

Anita Best: [00:08:28] I’ve challenged people to name an industry that I can’t find a franchise in. One time somebody said drones. And at the time, I didn’t have one. I have since found one in drones. There’s one that’s gone out of business in the marijuana business in states where it was legal there. They’re no longer around. But there’s franchise in everything – health care, technology, home services, education. Just about every industry you can think of, there would be a franchise, at least, relative to it.

Michael Blake: [00:08:57] Now, that one that went out of business, was that the drone business that went out of business or the marijuana that’s just going out of business.

Anita Best: [00:09:03] No, no. I think the drone business is doing well. It was the marijuana business.

Michael Blake: [00:09:06] I was just kind of wondering. Marijuana and flying drones may or may not be the best combination out there. Just sort of my gears kind of turning on that.

Anita Best: [00:09:18] [Crosstalk].

Michael Blake: [00:09:18] So, the Small Business Administration provides a list of franchise failure rates. Not all franchises are created equal. And they get a lot of — Frankly, I think, they get a lot of negative attention, sometimes undeserved. And I think it’s because nobody wants to read a story about a plane landing safely, right. But it’s always fun to beat on some franchisor that is taking too much money, whatever they’re doing, right. But I think the Small Business Administration has a list of the franchise failure rates as a function of where the SBA provides the financing to buy a franchise, and then what is the default rate. Have you seen that list? You think that’s a good thing for somebody to consult as they think about the kind of franchise or the specific franchise they might consider buying into?

Anita Best: [00:10:12] It might be a small data point, Michael. I’m very familiar with it. It’s the Coleman Report. The last one that I have the entire report of was from 2011. If a franchise sells a hundred franchises, and two of them use SBA, and one of those fail, it’s going to show up as a 50% failure rate on the SBA’s list.

Michael Blake: [00:10:38] True.

Anita Best: [00:10:38] So, you can extrapolate all kinds of crazy numbers that would come up. I think the Coleman Report is more effective to use from an industry perspective if you are to take all the restaurants out of the Coleman Report and see how many restaurants fail versus how many, let’s say, auto repair franchises fail, versus how many homecare franchises fail. You can come up with some data there that’s interesting from which industries may have higher failure rates, but there’s so many other things that go into it.

Anita Best: [00:11:09] And the simple fact that it’s, in my opinion, very few people use SBA loans. A small minority of my clients use SBA loans. They use everything from home equity, to commercial loans, to a lot of retirement funds. There’s government IRS-approved programs where you don’t have to pay penalties and interest on the money that you use if it’s done under very strict guidelines. So, I don’t see it as a strong indicator without having a lot of other information to look at as well.

Michael Blake: [00:11:41] Okay. So, maybe, it’s one piece of the whole conversation, but don’t make it your whole conversation.

Anita Best: [00:11:45] No. I typically don’t even look at it anymore.

Michael Blake: [00:11:49] Really?

Anita Best: [00:11:50] Yeah.

Michael Blake: [00:11:50] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:11:50] As I said, other than from an industry perspective, you can sort the list, if you buy the current list, which I’ll quit doing because I didn’t find it to be that important for me. You can sort it. And the perfect example is there’s one — I don’t want to mention the name. It might be too controversial.

Michael Blake: [00:12:08] Got it.

Anita Best: [00:12:08] But there’s a household name franchise that everyone would know that is very successful and has made many, many millionaires. And for 2000 to — I’m sorry, 2000 — yeah, 2000 to 2010, they showed a 20% SBA loan failure rate-

Michael Blake: [00:12:26] Ha.

Anita Best: [00:12:26] … which I find very difficult to believe. And even if some of the units failed, the operation didn’t fail. It failed for other reasons. And the franchisor took it back, ran it successfully, sold it to someone else. So, I think, it’s not one of the stronger tools to use.

Michael Blake: [00:12:45] Interesting, okay. So, somebody walks in the door or hit you by e-mail, and they say, “Anita, I’m interested in exploring franchises, types. What kind of franchise might be right for me?” what does that process look like.

Anita Best: [00:13:03] Yeah. A lot of it is a getting-to-know-you process. Personally, I have a business personality assessment that I use. It’s very similar to the DiSC Profile. You’re probably familiar with the DiSC Profile.

Michael Blake: [00:13:15] I am. I took one for my old job, and they said I was clinically insane.

Anita Best: [00:13:19] Yeah. Actually, those tests are not a good predictor of mental illness. So, I use that. By the way, I do see assessments more of a conversation tool, not a dictate. For example, like my DiSC Profile shows me all DI, low SC, which means that I would be terrible with details. And it’s more a matter of comfort. I don’t like details, but I use computer lists. Very disciplined with using my computer. Nothing ever falls through the cracks. If I had to sit in front spreadsheets all day long, I’d be miserable. So, we all have compensating factors for our natural personality styles, but it’s a great conversation piece for me to get to know people.

Anita Best: [00:14:05] And then, I also have a four-page candidate questionnaire that my clients tell me really helps them think through business ownership, and everything from B2B versus B2C, service versus product, number of employees they’d like to have, lots of questions like that, and a list of industries to rate which ones they have higher or lower interest in. And by going through that process, after I get that information back from my clients, we then have another conversation, I have more questions, they have more questions. I send them information to read. And then, I start doing my research based upon what they said. There’s no magic wand that comes out of that, like, poof, the perfect franchise with for them doesn’t pop out, but that getting-to-know-you process really helps me to refine things that would be good for them..

Anita Best: [00:14:55] And then, I’d been remiss. The economics is crucial. I’ve taught many people out of buying a franchise. Right now, I know a guy’s out of work. He’s maybe got $100,000, and he’s got four kids, and his wife doesn’t work, and he wants to buy a franchise. I go, “You need a job,” you know.

Michael Blake: [00:15:12] Yeah, good, yeah.

Anita Best: [00:15:13] Yeah. And-

Michael Blake: [00:15:13] That’s a sign of a great professional, by the way, that will look at somebody in an instant, like, “I’m going to talk myself out of work here, but this ain’t for you, man.”

Anita Best: [00:15:23] Yeah, but that’s okay. They send me business. They appreciate it.

Michael Blake: [00:15:25] Yeah, that’s right.

Anita Best: [00:15:25] So, that works out just fine. But both their current financial situation, how much money they need to make, their comfort level with it, obviously those, how much they have, and how much they need to make, and what their overhead is, have them look at all of those points and make sure that it makes sense. And, of course, there’s franchises you can buy for $50,000 without brick and mortar, that don’t have the high overhead, but as a general rule, it’s going to be more than that.

Michael Blake: [00:15:56] So, it sounds like you invest a lot of time, maybe as much or more, but you can correct me, on the personal match as opposed to just the raw economics of the franchise. Maybe there’s some — I’m sure there’s some very good franchises out there, franchise systems that enjoy consistent success, maybe they’re booming, they’re capturing a great trend, right. But is it fair to say that could be trumped if the personality match isn’t right, then, maybe you’d go with something that on the surface is financially a little less lucrative if it’s clearly a better personal match?

Anita Best: [00:16:35] It’s probably both.

Michael Blake: [00:16:37] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:16:40] A lot of people come to me wanting to do something they love. They love to play golf or they — well, let’s just use golf. If you look at most golf professionals, they’re out there hot and sweaty all day. They’re not making a lot of money. They don’t become golf pros. They become golf teachers. And it’s not necessarily doing what they like, and they don’t make a lot of money. Most people that are doing what they really love aren’t making a lot of money – artists, musicians. So, oftentimes, that kind of fit is not as important as finding something you can be passionate about delivering really well and loving what a day in the life is all about. That’s more, to me, what a great fit is. I’m not sure if I exactly answered your question there.

Michael Blake: [00:17:28] You did. No, you actually did.

Anita Best: [00:17:30] That, yeah.

Michael Blake: [00:17:30] Yes, you did. So, I mean, it sounds like it’s a pretty even — it actually sounds like a pretty complicated balancing act matching economics with personality.

Anita Best: [00:17:39] Yeah. Well, I spend probably half of my time looking at franchise opportunities, so that I have a mental inventory. I’ve got contracts with about 600 brands, but I have access to detailed data on over 2500 brands through a service I subscribe to. And I also have a mastermind group of a dozen top women. We call ourselves the Power Women Brokers, a dozen female brokers around the country. We have a once-a-month scheduled call. We have daily e-mails going back and forth where we share good concepts, bad concepts, clients we’re having trouble fitting. It’s a great support group because this kind of consulting can be very lonely. You spend a lot of time in front of a computer by yourself doing research.

Anita Best: [00:18:24] So, I’m reading about, learning about good brands in many different areas, many different price ranges, researching their success rates, it gives me a mental inventory of concepts. And then, when I have a client, and I learn a lot about them, the financial piece, really, is first. If the financial piece isn’t there, then it’s not a good fit.

Michael Blake: [00:18:48] The rest wouldn’t matter.

Anita Best: [00:18:48] Right. Then, it becomes something that they can get excited about, can see themselves executing on a daily basis. And so, therein lies the fit. And there’s no franchise that has 100% success right.

Michael Blake: [00:19:02] There’s no business that has 100% success rate.

Anita Best: [00:19:05] Yeah. I mean, I usually say there’s like a 33/33.33. When you look at franchises, you’re going to find 33% of the people that buy them that are miserable, and wish they hadn’t done it, and aren’t making enough money. You’re going to find that 33.3% in the middle that are out of their corporate job. They’re not killing it, but they’re happy. It’s improved their lifestyle. And then, you’re going to find that top third, hopefully, that are go-getters. They’re executing at a very, very high level. They’re exceeding their expectations from a financial perspective and from a lifestyle perspective.

Anita Best: [00:19:43] Oftentimes, I compare it to real estate. I was a real estate broker for three years. And before that, I sold real estate for 10 years. Talk about a revolving door. Probably 90% the people that get a real estate license a year later are not selling real estate. It doesn’t make real estate a bad business. It’s got to be the right fit, and you have to be passionate about it, and you have to execute. And franchise ownership is very, very similar.

Michael Blake: [00:20:04] So, that segues nicely, kind of, in the next question in that a franchise, and maybe even entrepreneurship, in general, is not for everybody, right. And thank God. If everybody in the world was an entrepreneur, it’d be chaos.

Anita Best: [00:20:16] Yeah

Michael Blake: [00:20:17] Nobody would ever take direction, and nine billion people going in different directions. But what’s kind of a profile where you kind of know pretty early in the process that somebody is not a good candidate to be a franchise owner? What are, kind of, the warning signs you frequently see?

Anita Best: [00:20:38] I’d like to come back to that in a second, but I just want to touch on entrepreneurship for a moment.

Michael Blake: [00:20:42] Yeah.

Anita Best: [00:20:42] I heard a great definition of entrepreneurship. It’s the Harvard Business School definition actually, and it says, “The pursuit of opportunity without regard to resources currently controlled.” When you’re buying a franchise, it has to be in regard to resources currently controlled or, at least, that’s my coaching on the subject. So, depending on your definition of entrepreneurs, I find that true entrepreneurs, by that definition, don’t make good franchisees.

Michael Blake: [00:21:13] Really?

Anita Best: [00:21:13] Because they want to do it their way.

Michael Blake: [00:21:15] Oh, but a franchise has — I mean, they have a playbook-

Anita Best: [00:21:18] They have a playbook.

Michael Blake: [00:21:19] … which you, more or less, have to follow exactly.

Anita Best: [00:21:21] Exactly. So, senior executives make great franchisees because even though they’ve got a lot of control, they have to execute. Even if they’re the president, they’ve got to execute according to the board’s control, or there’s lots of restrictions. There’s a budget that they have to follow. They’ve got a chief marketing officer that’s going to give them direction. So, senior executives make great franchisees typically. A true entrepreneur is going to want to do it his way or her way.

Michael Blake: [00:21:54] Right.

Anita Best: [00:21:54] And in my experience, the two reasons franchisees typically fail, one is under capitalization, which I’ll do everything I can to keep that from happening to somebody, at least, on the front end. And number two is not following the model. You’re buying a franchise because it’s a proven business model. Well, there are those that come in there and think they have a better way to do it. And that can be a recipe for disaster. Oftentimes, after the first year or two, after you’re executing according to the model, great. You got some good ideas, try them out. Talk to other franchisees in that system, see if they’ve tried it, if it’s worked or not. That’s called the franchise family.

Anita Best: [00:22:33] Most franchises they talk to each other, and so they can compare notes on that, so you’re less likely to make mistakes because there may be others that have already made those mistakes, or tried those things, or you might come up with a great way to make the brand better. Most franchise companies have, not board, but a board of franchisors awards that get together regularly and talk about new systems, new models, new ways to do things. So, you’ve kind of got that bigger brain working on your business with you.

Michael Blake: [00:23:06] All right. So, if you’re not a rule-follower, right, then being a franchise will be difficult. What else? Are there other kind of warning signs or features that you, kind of, flag somebody away from doing a franchise?

Anita Best: [00:23:19] Really, the capitalization piece. If you’re well-capitalized enough, and you want to be independent, and have more control over your life, and you’re willing to follow a model, which, by the way, many franchisors, in their process of taking someone through learning about their franchise, if people don’t show up for calls, or weren’t willing to follow the models, or don’t do “homework” that’s given to them – homework in quotation marks – they won’t want them as a franchisee because they have to report their success rate in their FTD every year. So, there. There you have it.

Michael Blake: [00:24:02] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:24:02] Yeah.

Michael Blake: [00:24:03] So, in terms of the capitalization, does that mean you’re basically talking about how much runway they have, so that the — not every business will just start making money hand over fist right away, right. Even a franchise most won’t. So, is there a rule of thumb in terms of how much runway you recommend somebody have before embarking on this?

Anita Best: [00:24:24] It depends. It depends on the brand.

Michael Blake: [00:24:26] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:24:27] If you’re doing a home-based franchise or something that can be run out of a small warehouse or a small office, you don’t need a lot of runway. And those typically cost less on the front end. Oftentimes, it can have a much higher long-term income potential. You got to be able to pay your bills. If you’re looking at investing in anything in a strip shopping center or real brick and mortar where you’ve got to sign a five-year lease, and you’ve got to pay employees, and you’ve got to have inventory, you need to have 18 months to two years runway, both working capital and personal living expenses. Some can ramp up much faster than that. But if it doesn’t, if you don’t execute as quickly as you think, or there’s a blip anywhere, that’ll take you down; whereas, if you’re working out of a warehouse or a small office, a lot less money is needed to have a much longer runway.

Michael Blake: [00:25:28] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:25:28] So, it depends on the concept and the type of franchise.

Michael Blake: [00:25:29] And some franchises are much more capital-intensive than others, like you just alluded to. If you have a highly service-based business where you, yourself, even could kind of show up and provide the service, that’s one thing. But if you’re going to do — I don’t know. If you’re going to do a hotel, for example, many of which are franchised, right?

Anita Best: [00:25:54] Right.

Michael Blake: [00:25:54] That’s millions of dollars potentially of upfront costs

Anita Best: [00:25:58] Yeah, and ongoing capital investment for sure.

Michael Blake: [00:26:00] Right, right, okay.

Anita Best: [00:26:02] Yeah.

Michael Blake: [00:26:03] So, I would imagine a lot of the people that come to you, they may have an interest in a franchise, but they haven’t necessarily been in that business before. Is that a deal breaker if somebody wants to get into health care, but they’ve never done health care, they don’t even know how to put a Band-Aid on? Does not preclude them from being in the business, or can they be trained up, or how does that dynamic work?

Anita Best: [00:26:33] The vast majority of people that I see buying franchises wind up in an industry that they are completely unrelated to. Now, there are some that having knowledge of that industry is helpful, but that’s part of the beauty of a franchise. It’s more your skillset, your desire, energy, and ability to execute. Feeling an affinity for the business, that is important. But in most cases, you don’t need to have a lot of experience in that industry. You have to have the skill set to execute the business model.

Michael Blake: [00:27:12] And in most these franchise systems, not only offer training, they’ll require you to participate and do well in the training before they’ll grant you the franchise, correct?

Anita Best: [00:27:25] Well, no. Actually not.

Michael Blake: [00:27:27] Okay.

Anita Best: [00:27:27] Most of them do have extensive training. And the research process with any franchise concept is typically going to take, at least, six weeks. They’ll have webinars. They’ll have different people in the company they want you to speak to. You’re going to want to be doing some research on your own. But I only have heard of one franchise over the years that actually allows you to go to training before you purchase the franchise because, I think, that would be kind of fraught with trouble for the franchisor because of insider knowledge and information to not let just anybody come-

Michael Blake: [00:28:02] Yeah, that makes sense.

Anita Best: [00:28:03] … to their franchise training.

Michael Blake: [00:28:05] There are trade secrets there.

Anita Best: [00:28:05] Right. But every franchise has training. Some of it is distance training. Some of it is you go off to them for a week or two weeks. I know many that have a two-week training program. Some of them, obviously, have required reading for you to do. Some of them send people into your territory. And most of them have some combination of those three. So, there is a lot of training once you sign on the dotted line and purchase your franchise.

Anita Best: [00:28:34] And there’s ongoing training to, varying degrees. Many franchisors have coaches that you talk to once a week, and you can call more often if you want to. Many of them have annual conventions where there’s a lot of training. A lot of them have weekly calls that all the franchisees can get on, and talk to each other, and compare notes, and share, or intranets where you can type in information. And another franchisee that has the answer will respond and jump on a call with them if you need more information. So, there’s lots of resources for ongoing support-

Michael Blake: [00:29:12] Got it.

Anita Best: [00:29:12] … in a good franchise model.

Michael Blake: [00:29:14] So, do you have a favorite success story of somebody that you’ve helped get into the franchising business?

Anita Best: [00:29:21] One of my favorites, and this is just about two years ago now, a female executive here, a Kettering member, a good friend of mine called me and said that her daughter was a meteorologist in Alabama, and they were married, and her husband was selling insurance, and she was looking for change, he was looking for a change of what I talked to them about franchise opportunities. Of course, that’s very flattering when somebody will trust you with their children.

Michael Blake: [00:29:47] Yeah.

Anita Best: [00:29:47] And so, I worked with them probably for five or six months. They purchased a franchise. It was a home modification franchise for seniors, a rather small warehouse. And they loved it. They’re so excited. They sent me these lovely notes. They were rookie of the year their first year. And when I see their mom, she’s so grateful. I mean, it’s just to see younger — must my candidates our senior executives just because that’s the world I’ve been living in. That’s rewarding too, but to have the children of a good friend achieve that level of success, and to see these young kids starting out on this entrepreneurial journey.

Anita Best: [00:30:29] And I think it’s great because most — and I use the entrepreneurial warden, but most people, they get into business for themselves, it’s usually not the last one. It usually turns into multiple streams of income. You’ve got the freedom to control your schedule. So, oftentimes, other opportunities present themselves or additional territories possibly with the concept that you’ve already are working within, or just other opportunities start to present themselves. So, it was really fun and exciting to see this young couple do that.

Michael Blake: [00:31:05] All right. So, we’re running out of time here. So, I think, the last question I want to ask you is, if someone wants to learn more about this kind of opportunity, this kind of direction for themselves, how can they best contact you? Can they contact you? And if so, how can they do that?

Anita Best: [00:31:21] Of course. Thank you, Michael. That would be very nice. They could send me an email at Anita@findyourfranchise.com, just like it sounds. They could call me 404-218-7808, or they could send me a text, and I’d be delighted to chat with them.

Michael Blake: [00:31:39] Okay. So, that’s going to wrap it up for today’s program. I’d like to, again, thank Anita so much for joining us and sharing her expertise with us today. We’ll be exploring a new topic each week. So, please tone in, so that when you’re faced with your next business decision, you have clear vision when making it. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider leaving a review through favorite podcast aggregator. It helps people find us, so that we can help them. Once again, this is Mike Blake. Our sponsor is Brady Ware & Company. And this has been the Decision Vision Podcast.

Tagged With: Dayton accounting, Dayton business advisory, Dayton CPA, Dayton CPA firm, Find Your Franchise, Find Your Franchise Inc., food service franchise, franchise brokerage, franchise coach, franchise compatibility, franchise consultant, Franchise Disclosure Document, franchise selection, Franchisee, franchisees, Franchising, Franchisor, home-based franchise, Keller Williams, Michael Blake, Mike Blake, transition out of corporate

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